Revival
by ThatWildWolf
Summary: As the sole survivor of Vault 111, Nora enters a world destroyed by nuclear war, desperate to find her son. Every second is a fight for survival, and each choice proves harder to make than the previous one. And even though she may not want it, her actions will decide about the future of this wasteland.
1. Introduction

**Fallout 4  
Introduction**

* * *

 _"War._

 _War never changes._

 _In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he'd get to go home to his wife - and the son he'd never seen._

 _He got his wish when the US ended World War II - by dropping atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki._

 _The world awaited armageddon... But instead, something miraculous happened: we began to use atomic energy not as a weapon, but as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxuries once thought the realm of science fiction: domestic robots, fusion-powered cars, portable computers..._

 _But then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream._

 _Years of consumption lead to shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Nations took up arms against their neighbors, and peace... Peace became a distant memory._

 _It is now the year 2077. We stand on the brink of total war, and I... I am afraid. For myself, for my wife, for my infant son._

 _Because if my time in the army taught me one thing, it's that war... War never changes."_


	2. To You, 200 Years From Now

**Chapter One  
To You, 200 Years From Now**

* * *

"War never changes."

I pretended not to notice that my husband was talking to himself again. I knew that he was nervous and spent every moment he had on rehearsing his speech.

"You're gonna knock them dead at the Veterans' Hall tonight," I smiled, standing by his side in front of the bathroom mirror.

"You think?" Nate raised his eyebrows with a smirk.

"Absolutely. Now get ready and stop hugging the mirror." I pushed him on the shoulder playfully.

"Mhm." He nodded, stroking his chin. "I'll just be a minute."

I shook my head with a smile and walked out of the bathroom. I had to start making breakfast anyway... Hold on, I didn't - Codsworth would take care of it. I mentally laughed at my forgetfulness. You would think that after a month of owning the robot, I would have gotten used to the thought of not having to do everything on my own.

I reminded myself that I wouldn't feel as useless anymore soon and I would return to work soon enough. My maternity leave was nearing to the end - I had only taken a year, and our son, Shaun, was near to that age already.

I would go back to the court where I belonged, Nate would retire from the army... We would live like a normal family, we wouldn't have to worry about the war anymore.

"Ah, good morning, ma'am!" Codsworth greeted as soon as I entered the living room. "Your coffee. 173.5 degrees Fahrenheit. Brewed to perfection!"

"Mechanical precision," I muttered to myself as I took the cup of steaming liquid into my hand. "Cheater."

I took a sip. Of course, it was perfect. "Thanks, Codsworth," I added aloud.

"Of course, ma'am!"

Nate walked into the room with a paper in his hands.

"Today's newspaper," he explained. I nodded.

"Anything interesting?" I asked.

"War, war... War..." He flipped through the pages. "War... RobCo ad... War..."

"I get the image."

Just then, a baby's crying filled the whole house. Codsworth immediately headed to Shaun's room, saying something about tending to the baby. I snickered.

"You know," I shook my head, still smiling, "I was nervous at first, but Codsworth's really good with Shaun."

Nate nodded over his newspaper - I could see he was only half-listening.

I drank the rest of my coffee and walked to the kitchen to put the empty cup in the sink. I opened the fridge, but, save for a few milk bottles and a half-empty Nuka-Cola, it was empty. I should probably go shopping today...

The doorbell rang and I closed the fridge door, confused. I glanced at the clock. Who could it be this early?

"Can you get that?" Nate asked. "It's probably that salesman. I don't know why he keeps asking for you."

What salesman? I didn't know anything about it... Then again, I had been engaged in a complicated case lately and only now I was enjoying a bit of freedom, so after second thoughts, it made sense that I wouldn't.

I went to the door and opened it.

"Good morning!" It was a middle-aged man dressed in a brown trench coat. "Vault-Tec calling!"

"Vault-Tec?" I repeated. "Remind me again." The name sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it.

"Why we're about you, ma'am! And helping secure your future!" He announced optimistically. "You see, Vault-Tec is the foremost builder of state-of-the-art underground fallout shelters. Vaults, if you will."

 _If he asks me to buy a fallout shelter, I'll slam that door in his face,_ I promised myself.

"You can't begin to know how happy I am to finally speak with you. I've been trying for days!" I didn't doubt it. Vendors like that could be really persistent. "It's a matter of utmost urgency, I assure you."

"I'm here now," I pointed out.

"So you are." He gave a nervous laugh. "So you are... Now, I know you're a busy woman, so I won't take much of your time. Time being a, um..." I kind of enjoyed seeing him stumble upon his words. "A... precious... commodity. I'm here to tell you that because of your family's service to our country, you have been pre-selected for entrance into the local Vault - Vault 111!" He pronounced it as if it were the most amazing thing to happen to humankind since Jesus resurrected.

"Look, you got the wrong person," I said.

"No, no, no!" The salesman shook his head vigorously. "I have got it all black on white here: Nora Smith, army officer-"

"That would be my husband," I said. "I'm just a lawyer. I save people's lives, but in a bit of a different way." I turned back towards the living room. "Nate, honey, this man wants to speak with you!" I called.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Ah, you must be Nathaniel Smith, sir!" The salesman turned all of his irritating attention to my husband, while I tactfully walked away. Which means that I escaped before he would get the chance to begin talking with me again. I really hated people that cheerful.

Codsworth caught me in the hall.

"Shaun has been changed, but he absolutely refuses to calm down. I think he requires some of that 'maternal affection' you seem to be so good at."

"Uh... Sure." I nodded. I walked to our son's room. Shaun was only one year old, but I couldn't imagine life without him. He was our little angel, that boy. "Hey... What's wrong, sweet pea?" I leaned over the crib and tickled his belly. The baby giggled nearly immediately. "There we go. That's a smile you should keep on your face."

"How is my wonderful family doing?" I heard Nate's voice behind me. I looked at him - he was leaning on the doorframe with a smirk. He nodded at Shaun's bed. "I fixed up that mobile yesterday. Go on, give it a spin. He loves that."

I did so, and was rewarded with a most beautiful giggle from Shaun. He was overjoyed.

"Hey, how's my little guy?" Nate leaned in over the crib. "Much better now, huh?" He looked up from our son at me. "Listen, after breakfast, we could get to the park for a bit. Weather should hold up."

I smiled.

"Seems like a good idea. We could-"

"Sir?! Ma'am?!" Codsworth called from the living room. His mechanical voice had a note of urgency in it. "You should come see this!"

"Codsworth?" I called out. "What's wrong?"

I picked Shaun up from his crib and quickly followed Nate to the living room.

"What is it?" My husband asked.

"Sir, the television" was the only answer we received. I turned my attention to the TV.

"We do have..." The speaker was saying. "We do have coming in... Confirmed reports. That's, uh... I repeat, confirmed reports of nuclear detonations in New York and Pennsylvania. That's..." He buried his head in his hands, apparently forgetting that he was on live. "Oh, God..." In a burst of static, the image of the studio was replaced with a 'please stand by' sign.

I didn't need to look anymore: the situation was obvious. So terrifying, so impossible, yet at the same time so clear.

China had dropped nuclear missiles on the US.

We were in the middle of an atomic war.

"We need to get to the Vault!" Nate exclaimed, which made snap out of it. "Now!"

He threw the door open.

"Take Shaun!" I exclaimed and pushed the baby into his arms. He would have a better chance of survival if he was held by a strong man - and trained soldier, to add up - than me, I thought.

We ran. I tried not to look at our neighbors, people who were gathering their belongings instead of running for dear life. Was this really happening? Was it about to happen?! ...Were we going to die?!

I looked up at the sky in time to see a vertibird heading towards Boston. Good that the army was mobilized... But how much good would that do?

The nearer to the Vault we got, the more people were around. Soldiers in uniform. Soldiers in power armor. Vault-Tec workers, trying to get the panicking civilians like us in order.

We reached a gate guarded by two soldiers in power armor.

"We need to get in! We're on the list!" Nate demanded.

One of the soldiers looked through the papers he held in his hands.

"Infant, adult male, adult female... Okay, go ahead."

"Thank you!" I cried out, my emotions getting the better of me. So many people were refused entrance... How had _we_ made it?

"Good luck, ma'am..." The soldier's words were like a prayer. "And God help us all."

"There, there!" A Vault-Tec worker ushered us to a metal circle on the ground. "Step on the elevator!"

Shaun was crying. Me and Nate exchanged desperate looks as we were pushed onto the platform along with ten or so other people.

The elevator began descending soon, but not soon enough, so I was clearly able to see it: the nuclear explosion after an atomic bomb had been dropped on Boston.

It had happened.

It had really happened. First the explosion, then the shockwave. I could see the mass of irradiated air heading in our direction and suddenly, it all became real to me. In heat of the moment, I instinctively crouched on the elevator's floor, desperate to get as low as possible. Several other people followed my example. I looked up just in time to see heavy metal doors cover the view of the sky, for good.

The world had just ended. And we were locked inside. Trapped underground.

But at least we were safe.

Everyone was shocked, most of our neighbors whispering "Oh my God" over and over again, but I just looked to my husband for consolation. He would know what to say.

"Nate-" I began, but he shushed me - me or the crying Shaun, I wasn't sure.

"We did it," Nate said, but he didn't look at me, instead nervously inspecting our surroundings. "We made it, we're okay."

The elevator gate rose and showed us the view of what, I began to realize, would be our new home. It didn't look very friendly. The walls, floor, and ceiling were all made of metal, and the air was significantly colder than on the surface. But it seemed solid. And this low under the ground, it had to be safe. It had to be.

"Oh God... Everyone... Everyone is just... dead..." Mr Russel, our next-door neighbor whispered. I gave him a brief glance before my attention was turned to an important-looking man in a Vault-Tec lab coat thrown over a blue'n'yellow jumpsuit.

"No need to worry, folks!" He claimed with a smile that seemed a little out of place, considering that the nuclear apocalypse had just happened. "We'll get everyone situated in our new home, Vault 111 - a better future, underground!" Something was off with his tone, like he was forcing himself to remain enthusiastic.

"I can't believe it..." Mrs Able said. "If we had... Just a minute later... We would all be..."

"No, no." The man, who had to be the- how did they call them - Overseer, quickly stopped that monologue. "Don't get caught up thinking about all that. You're safe now."

I reluctantly walked up the metal stairs that led into the Vault, hoping that if I did that, I would at least set an example for the others. The Overseer was right. Pondering about what had just happened, about what might have happened - it wasn't healthy. We had to live on...

Dear God... The world had just ended, hadn't it? I sent a prayer for all those who hadn't made it.

 _"Vault-_ _Tec_ _is here for you,"_ a friendly voice came from some speakers I couldn't see. " _All new residents please proceed in an orderly fashion._ " There was a second of silence before the voice added a depressingly cheerful " _Welcome home_ _!"_

Because this would be our home. We would live in this place, this metal underground base, and... And we would survive. That was it. Even if it wouldn't be a perfect life, it would be a life.

And that was more than most people had.

I looked around as I walked on the catwalk across... whatever was underneath. Probably just dirt and rocks.

"Step over to the table," a Vault-Tec staff member told me, as I was the first person to get there. "Take a suit."

I noticed that, security guards aside, the Vault's entire personnel were wearing those blue jumpsuits.

"What size are you?" A kind-looking woman asked when I got to the table upon which the said suits were laying.

"An M," I said. "Thirty-eight." Ever since the war had begun, most things like clothing size, currency or even alphabet hadn't seemed clear, so you had to know a few different ways to put the same thing - I wasn't sure which system Vault-Tec used.

"There you go, ma'am." She handed me a blue jumpsuit identical to the one she was wearing. I noticed that it had a yellow 111 on the back. Cute.

"Where can I...?" I asked and she nodded to a roomscreen behind the table. Well, this wasn't as much privacy as I would be comfortable with, but at least it was something. I quickly threw off my shirt and skirt and replaced with the brand new Vault jumpsuit. Surprisingly enough, it was actually quite comfortable. The material was thick, yet flexible, and I was pretty sure that the inside was padded with something softer than the outside. Besides, it was actually nice to look at.

"Could you take Shaun while I change?" Nate asked, as always calm - even in situations like this. Military training does its thing.

"Sure." I took the baby into my arms. At least now he was asleep. I hugged him close to my chest, as if that gesture would help me feel that it was going to be alright from then on. It was alright. We were alive, we were going to be fine.

"How do I look?" Nate asked jokingly. I looked at him. Somehow, the ridiculous Vault jumpsuit looked good on him.

"Like you've lived here your whole life," I replied. "Here. Take Shaun."

"Ah, nothing more comforting than the sight of such a happy family at a time like this," someone said. I immediately turned in that direction, only to see a Vault-Tec doctor smiling at us. "But, we've got things to do. You need to settle in your new home, after all. If you would follow me."

"Sure thing," Nate nodded. He gave me an encouraging smile, which must have cost him some willpower. "See? This is where we will live." I wasn't sure whether he was talking to me or Shaun.

"Oh, you're going to love it here." The doctor said as we walked through a metal hallway. "This is one of our most advanced facilities. Not that the others aren't great, mind you."

Then, we walked in silence.

"How long do you think we'll stay here?" I asked.

"I don't know, honey," Nate seemed troubled as he looked around. "But this doesn't seem like a safe place for a child. I don't want Shaun to grow up somewhere he can't enjoy." He sighed. "Have you seen other children? He's going to grow up alone."

"Hey," I tried to ease his nerves. "At least he's going to grow up at all. We were given a chance that most people didn't get."

"I know." He shook his head. "I know. Sorry, just all I can think about. For all we know, there's a children's area down here."

"Don't worry, sir." The doctor smiled kindly. "The Vault was specially designed for its citizens' highest comfort, I'm sure you'll love it. But. We'll be going over all of that in orientation. Just a few medical items we have to get through first."

We entered a larger room with several metal containers the size of a man. Each one of them had a comfortable-looking seat and some machinery inside.

I shivered. The air temperature was significantly lower here, though - I had to give credit where it was due - the Vault suit offered a good protection from cold.

"Just step in here," the doctor pointed me to one of the containers. "This will just take a minute. Simple decontamination, everyone's got to get through it."

I nodded; it seemed reasonable.

"Although I will have to confiscate your spectacles," he said with a friendly smile.

"Huh?" I was confused for a second before laughing out loud and taking off my eyeglasses. "There you go."

"Thank you. All personal possessions will be returned right after you leave the pod."

I nodded in understanding.

"Can you come over here? Shaun's being fussy," Nate said. I walked to his decontamination pod, right in front of mine.

"Hey, hey," I shushed the crying baby. "It's fine."

"See? Mommy's right here." Nate smiled as he gently rocked Shaun in his arms.

"I won't be going far," I promised my son with a wink.

Nate took Shaun and stepped into the pod, which closed only a moment afterwards. He smiled at me, probably just to let me know that it was fine. I took the place in mine and watched as the metal door swung closed, trapping me inside. At least there was a window through which we could look out.

The Vault-Tec doctor looked at me through the glass.

"The pod will decontaminate and depressurize you before we head deeper into the Vault. Just relax." He then walked away. I let out a breath.

"Time for a whole new life," I said to myself. I looked across the room to see Nate waving at me from inside his pod.

I looked at him as the air grew colder and promised myself that the life we would get was going to be a good one. For both of my boys.

Then, the air turned so cold that I couldn't look out or even concentrate anymore. I let out one last breath before closing my eyes.

Only blackness followed.

oooOOO***OOOooo

 _"Manual override initiated. Cryogenic stasis suspended"_ were the words that, slowly, began to wake me up. I felt dizzy, cold and stiff. My vision was blurred and my body weak. My own breathing seemed loud and heavy as I tried to move and realized I was closed in a small space.

I looked out the window to see two people walk to Nate's pod.

"This is the one. Here," one of them said in a feminine voice.

"Open it."

The door began to rise slowly and I used nearly all of my strength to bang my fist against the thick glass. Why wouldn't they let _me_ out, too?

Shaun began crying and Nate coughing as they were released.

"Is it over? Are we okay?" He asked.

"Almost," replied the second stranger. But he wasn't wearing a Vault suit or a lab coat like the rest of the staff. What he was dressed in looked more like armor than anything else. "Everything's going to be fine.

"Come here," the woman reached for Shaun, but Nate held the boy close.

"No, no, I've got him!" He protested when she tried to pry the baby out of his hands. They began to struggle, and all I could do was bang my fist on the window, desperate to be let out.

Then, the man who I was sure wasn't a Vault-Tec employee pulled out a revolver and pointed it at Nate. I stopped moving, petrified from fear.

"Let the boy go," the stranger demanded. "I'm only gonna ask once!"

"I'm not giving you Shaun!"

They struggled a bit more and I watched in terror as the man fired his revolver and Nate went limp.

They killed him.

"Goddammit!" The man swore as if it wasn't his fault that he just fired the gun. "Get the kid out of here and let's go!"

He walked over to my pod and looked straight at me. I got a good look at his face, too. He was bald, had thick eyebrows and a long scar over his eye. I angrily banged my fist against the glass, but he just smirked.

"At least we still have the backup." Then, he walked away and, much to my terror, the Vault computer announced:

 _"Cryogenic sequence_ _reinitialized_ _."_

And once again, I was forced to drift off into sleep.

oooOOO***OOOooo

The next time I woke up, I was able to breathe completely freely. I coughed.

 _"Critical failure in Cryogenic Array,_ " the computer claimed. " _All Vault residents must leave immediately._ "

The metal door that was holding me inside the pod swung open and I fell to the floor, my body too weak to support itself. I gasped at the air outside the pod - it was chilly, but much warmer than inside.

Then, I remembered the most recent events and my heart sank. I forced myself to get up and walk over to the pod that held Nate inside. My husband looked not only dead, but frozen. He had frost all over his body, which lay limp inside the container.

"No," I growled. I tried pushing numerous buttons, banging on the door, but nothing worked. "Come on!" I roared, angry at the machine for the lack of cooperation.

The door opened and I immediately was at my husband's side, checking his cold hands for pulse. But, of course, I felt none.

"No..." I whispered. I put a hand over my mouth as tears found their way into my eyes. "No."

I let myself weep as I rocked back and forth, holding his lifeless body in my arms. It was so terrible, so impossible...

I didn't know how long I had spent like that, sitting on the floor and hugging him close to my chest. I only knew that once the sadness passed, I felt but one thing: a burning desire for revenge.

"I'll find who did this and I'll get Shaun back," I whispered as I finally parted with the corpse I had been cradling.

I stood up, painfully aware of my helplessness. Nate... I couldn't even bury him properly - Vault-Tec had taken away even that.

But that was something my aching heart couldn't agree to.

"I'm coming back here," I promised. "I don't know if it will take hours, days or even weeks, but I _will_ come back. I promise."

What I needed was help. I couldn't exactly understand what was going on, I needed someone to help me. I walked to the nearest decontamination pod- no, _cryogenic_ pod - and looked inside, but Mr Russell looked just as dead as Nate. I checked the next one, and the next. Much to my terror, every single person who had entered the Vault with me just yesterday was now dead. How come had I survived?

"...What happened here?" I wondered aloud. No, I couldn't wait there anymore. Because there was at least one person I knew was still alive - Shaun. He had been taken, _kidnapped_ , but I hadn't seen him _die_.

I _would_ get him back.

I made my way to the sliding door that separated this room from the corridor we had entered the Vault through. It opened as soon as I approached it, but, much to my despair, the door on the other end of the hallway was jammed. I would have to find some other way out.

I shivered - the Vault suit provided extended protection from cold, but I suspected that what I was feeling was the thermal shock that followed the long period of time I had spent frozen in the cryogenic pod.

...How long _had_ it been, exactly?

If the bodies I found later were any indicator, very long.

I found them not much long after, actually. I took the hall to the left which, as I suspected, would lead to the Vault's main quarters. Instead, I only found another room full of cryogenic pods, identical to the one we had been placed in.

Then, there were the bodies. And I'm not talking about the well-preserved, frozen people in the pods, but the ones on the floor. Two Vault-Tec scientists, if I were to judge by their lab coats. But their bodies... Their bodies had long since decayed. All I was looking at were bones.

Was that really all that was left? I couldn't be the only one alive!

I looked around the nearest cryo pod in search of a release button of any sort, but once again, I found nothing. I quickly ran to the medical terminal on the wall, angry at myself for not having thought of that earlier. Surely there would be a way to remotely open the pods using it. There was no password required to access it, but my frown only deepened when I saw that the only option available was displaying the residents' vital signs. Resigned, I pressed enter on the keyboard and soon enough, the monitor displayed a long list of names. I had to squint my eyes to read them, and I despaired over the loss of my glasses. Upon deciding that I don't know most of these people, I chose the first name on the list.

 _Mr Abernathy._  
 _Status: deceased._  
 _Cause of death: system failure_

I quickly shut it off and displayed the next one.

 _Mrs Burton_  
 _Status: deceased_  
 _Cause of death: system failure_

I desperately checked each and every person on the list, but my dire suspicions were proved true: I was the sole survivor. The only living person in an underground grave.

Everyone was dead.

I left the room in a haste. I really needed to get out of that Vault. This time, I chose the hallway that led to the right.

" _Malfunction in emergency exit door override. Please contact your Vault-_ _Tec_ _maintenance representative for service,_ " the Vault computer claimed through the omnipresent speakers I still couldn't see.

I entered another hallway, this one with a glass window that separated it from the Tesla generators on the other side. For a moment, I thought I saw something move on the window's surface. I really didn't see well without my glasses, but it looked like an insect or...

Trusting my instinct, I quickly grabbed the security baton which lay on a table by the window. I had a sick feeling I might need a weapon if I were to get out of this place alive.

I took a peek into the open room on the right, but the only thing that caught my eye was a Stimpak on the table. I grabbed it and hid in the pocket of my Vault jumpsuit. Other than this small thing, I couldn't see anything of interest there.

I proceeded down the same hallway as before, tightly holding onto my security baton. There were some suspicious sounds coming from practically all sides, and I was worried not all of them were of mechanical origin. I rounded the corner, my heart in my throat, but thankfully, the rest of the corridor was empty as well. There was another sliding door at the end, and I opened it by pressing the button on the wall.

I screamed when an unnaturally large insect jumped onto me and bit into my skin. Instinctively, without as much as thinking, I swung the security baton and it immediately fell to the floor, dead.

I took a step back, panting. My heart was beating like crazy. There was blood on my weapon and the floor, as well as all over the creature's body. Once my arms stopped shaking, I swallowed my fear and took a step in its direction to get a better look at the corpse. Not much different from a cockroach, the insect was the size of a small dog. I poked it with the tip of my shoe, but it seemed that it was dead.

"Giant roaches? What the hell..." I whispered.

Taking the door on the left, I found myself in the power supply room I had seen through the window earlier. There was another giant cockroach there, standing between the two large generators that powered the entire Vault. I decided to avoid it by going around the left generator. I could see the door from my position and debated whether I should make a run for it or try to sneak my way along those several meters. I tightened my grip on the security baton and decided to run.

I grabbed the rail along the stairs in order to support myself further and took another step forward when my foot stepped on something that definitely wasn't the metal floor of the Vault. A loud crunch filled the whole room. As if on cue, a roach I hadn't seen before jumped on me. I hit it with my baton, but not strongly enough to kill. The one I had noticed before attacked me too, and I had to take a step back. I kicked the one that jumped onto me earlier and it went limp. A well-aimed swing of my baton brought the other one down.

Again, I had to take a while to catch my breath.

I looked down to see what I had stepped into and I felt sick. It was a skeleton in a Vault 111 suit, just like the one I was wearing.

"Is this really all that's left?" I whispered. At this point talking to myself didn't seem like a bad idea anymore - it was keeping me sane.

I pressed the door release button on the wall and waited for it to open. It revealed yet another hallway - and two of those giant insects in it. They noticed me nearly as soon as I noticed them, but this time I was prepared. The first one died under my shoe, while the second got hit by the security baton.

I continued to the door at the end of the corridor and opened it warily. Nothing jumped on me this time. I entered the room which had to be some kind of an office, with a large desk in the middle. I looked around the room, but it seemed secure.

I walked to the desk and decided that I would need the four Stimpaks that lay on it. I had never really trusted that technology, but it seemed there wouldn't be much of an alternative.

Stimpaks were 'health injections' - each syringe filled with _something_ that was said to almost immediately heal most injuries, even broken or crippled limbs. But most importantly of all, it was also a painkiller - one strong enough to make you feel as if the wound was gone even if it wasn't. In that concept, I would rather use the term 'drug' than 'cure' to describe it.

All in all, I didn't entirely trust that technology - maybe because, in the end, it was _technology_ and not only an injection - but I could see that taking these with me might be a sensible solution.

The next thing that caught my eye was a 10mm pistol which lay next to a terminal on the desk. I quickly grabbed it and checked the clip - there were four bullets left. Assuming that it was better than nothing, I took it and attached to the belt of my jumpsuit. I noticed that there was something akin to a holster on my right thigh, a set of straps which very conveniently allowed me to keep the gun in place while also be able to draw it without trouble. Apparently, Vault-Tec had thought of everything. _Prepared for the future._

I took the chair which was laying on the floor next to a skeleton, placed it upright and sat down. I pressed enter on the keyboard of the terminal and the screen came to life, displaying a long string of numbers. I was confused, but the numbers disappeared, replaced by a simple message:

 _Welcome to_ _ROBCO_ _Industries™_ _Termlink_  
 _Clearance: Overseer Eyes Only_

Then, the terminal displayed a list of various links, most of which seemed like simple security instructions. Not sure what I was looking for, I was ready to read them all, but the title of the last link caught my attention. It was called, simply and clearly, 'Open Evacuation Tunnel'. Which seemed like my best chance.

I clicked on it.

 _The personnel evacuation tunnel is now open. Remind all staff to be orderly and follow shutdown protocols before exiting and re-sealing Vault 111._

I looked up from the screen and was surprised to realize that the once-closed door at the end of the room was now open.

I grabbed my 10mm pistol and headed in that direction, but before I left the room, I noticed something peculiar in the corner. There was a small display case on the wall, next to a metal cabinet. My curiosity took the better of me and I lowered my weapon to take a better look. Inside the case was... I wasn't sure how to describe it. It had to be the prototype of some weapon, because I had never seen anything like it. The fact that most of the window was covered in frost and the name 'Cryolator' told me more than enough. A gun that could freeze people. Maybe I wasn't as much of a gun nut as Nate had been, but I had to admit that it sounded cool. In all meanings of the word.

Regrettably, the case was locked with what seemed like a fairly complicated mechanism. Smashing the window with the handle of my pistol didn't seem to work - it was hardened glass. I even tried to search the Overseer's terminal for a way to remotely access it, but there was nothing. I had to accept that this gun was going to lie there until some skilled lockpicker would come and get it.

Inside the cabinet, I found some more ammunition to my 10mm pistol, but after the discovery of the cryolator it seemed like a small victory.

I left the room through the hallway I had opened and eventually reached the same room I had entered the Vault through. The main difference, aside from the skeletons I was nearly getting used to seeing, was the fact that the giant steel door which separated the Vault from the rest of the world was now closed.

But that wouldn't last long.

I walked over to the door's control panel. There was a giant cockroach feasting on a disgusting pile of goo, but it died under my shoe even before it noticed I was there.

The controls didn't leave much to thinking: just a big red button labeled 'release'. No complicated mathematics there.

The only problem was that the button was sealed in a case of hardened glass, and the only way to open it was attaching a cable from another authorized device. I fell down to my knees, resigned. Where was I going to find something like that?

I looked down at the skeleton next to me. It... _The person it had been_ had been wearing a blue Vault 111 jumpsuit, identical to mine, and a white lab coat. On its bony arm was a portable computer - I recognized a RobCo device nearly immediately. Curious, I took a better look. It had to be one of those Pip-Boys there had been such a commotion about in the news - miniature portable computers which were said to have a ridiculously enormous functionality: from flashlight through calculator to monitoring the owner's vital signs. And, most important of all, this particular unit had a cable with a universal jack attached to it.

There was nearly no chance it would still work. But, I thought to myself, when RobCo built something, they built it to _last_. In that aspect, they weren't much different from Vault-Tec.

I unclipped the device from the skeleton's arm, careful not to damage either, and placed it on my own forearm. I tried pressing various buttons, but the screen remained dark.

 _How were you supposed to launch those again?_ I wondered. I regretted not having had more interest in technology earlier.

Hold on, these were supposed to be integrated with the owner's vitality. And if it was still measuring the pulse of that dead man, it was no wonder it didn't work. I quickly clipped it closed on my arm, allowing the system to get a scan of my life signs.

Finally, the screen lit up in a dull green color. It was working.

 _Pip-Boy 3000_ , it introduced itself. Then, it went on displaying some things, but I didn't pay attention to the screen anymore and simply connected the cable to the door control panel. Surprisingly enough, that was all I needed to do, because the glass case which had been covering the door release button before now opened with a click.

I pressed the button and the industrial lights on the ceiling began flashing red. A siren sound came from the invisible speakers, too. And finally, the gear-shaped door rolled to the side and granted me access to the exit. I quickly crossed the catwalk and boarded the elevator.

I took a look back at what I was leaving: the Vault, full of frozen dead bodies and skeletal remains of people I had once known. My neighbors, my friends. My husband. Then how could I leave just like that?

Then, I remembered what I was going after. My son. His kidnappers. The murderer of my husband.

Without hesitation, I pressed the elevator control button.

 **Level up.**  
 **New perk: Black Widow - You're charming... and dangerous. Men now suffer +5% damage in combat and are easier to persuade in dialogue.**


	3. Out Of Time

**Chapter Two  
** **Out Of Time**

* * *

I raised my arm to cover my face from the blinding sunlight as the elevator arrived at ground level. When I felt my eyes adjust to the brightness, I reluctantly lowered my arm, not sure what to expect.

I certainly hadn't been expecting _this_.

How did the world look like after an atomic bomb had been dropped nearby? It looked terrible. The grass, trees, ground - even the sky - were all a sick, grayish color. There wasn't even much of a grass and trees to begin with, just bare trunks and branches with close to no leaves. The air felt different too, and I wondered how sick I would get by simply breathing it.

And, most important of all, it was silent. It was completely, unnaturally, terrifyingly silent.

With a lump in my throat, I stepped off the elevator. I had known, of course, that the world would be different. That it would be destroyed. But nothing could ever prepare me for seeing the place that used to be my home completely devastated by nuclear war.

Was the war over now? It seemed there wasn't anyone left alive here...

I walked to the gate through which soldiers had let us into the vault earlier. The fence itself was covered with a layer of rust and torn apart, and there were several skeletons laying on the ground on both sides of it.

I shut my eyes. I didn't want to look at it. If only we had arrived a minute later, this would have been us. Me, Nate and Shaun...

I carefully stepped over the remains of the gate, mindful not to step onto the bodies. I knew there wasn't much point in dwelling on what might have been. The reality was terrible enough.

The road down towards Sanctuary Hills was completely deserted, which contrasted with how crowded it had been before the bombs fell so heavily that it was even more unsettling than actually seeing the bodies would be. I looked at the ground, then silently walked down the hill.

The town was in as bad a state as I had been expecting it to be, but that didn't make it any less dramatic. Half-ruined buildings, fallen trees with leaves long gone, empty window frames and broken concrete of the road. Broken, destroyed... Everything was gone.

I walked to the nearest house and touched the wall. The already fading orange paint fell off under my fingers. There were still Halloween decorations on the house. The holiday never happened in the end, had it? I let out a breath, trying to control the shaking of my body. I was trembling.

I forced myself to take a step away from the house. Then another one. I looked down at my feet, surprised that they were still moving. That I was walking, breathing. That, in some impossible and ridiculous way, I was still alive.

I then walked up to what was left of my house. Surprisingly enough, the door was still intact, and I gently pushed it so that I could walk inside.

I felt as if in a dream, it was just surreal. I barely even acknowledged that I walked to Shaun's room. The wallpaper was torn and coming off the walls, the carpet desperately needed washing and toys and other playthings were thrown all around the floor. I picked up Shaun's favorite teddy bear and looked at it for a longer moment. Not sure what to do, I put it in the empty crib which still stood in the middle of the room. I gave it only one quick glance, unable to bear the sight any longer.

Everything was gone. I was just walking amid the ruins, hoping to find something that would... What was I even hoping for? This whole situation was completely hopeless.

I hung my head.

"As I live and breathe!" A surprisingly familiar voice exclaimed somewhere behind me. "It's... It's _really_ you!"

I spun around faster than I would have thought possible.

"C- Codsworth?" I uttered, staring at the robot. "You're... Still here." A sudden wave of hope washed over my body. "This means that there must be other survivors!"

"Well of course I'm still here!" He said proudly. "Surely a little bit of... radiation... can't destroy the pride of General Atomics International!"

"What happened..." I began, but had to stop to cough. Was I still suffering from the after effects of being cryogenically frozen or was it the heavy, thick air here? "What happened to the world?"

"Well, except some slight mutations here and there, I'd say that things have been extremely dull," he said. I narrowed my brows: he was acting strange, even for Codsworth. "But! I'm sure that things will get more exciting with you and the master back!" He glanced round. "Speaking of which, where is your husband?"

I felt a dull pain in my chest.

"He's gone," I said quietly. "They killed him."

Codsworth showed as much concern as a machine could express.

"Ma'am, the things you're saying... Those terrible things... That can't be true!" He pointlessly hovered around for a second, probably thinking it through. "That's it, what you need is a distraction! It's been ages since we had a good family integration. What do you think, shall we play checkers? Or maybe charades? Young Shaun is superb at this game! Er..." That must have been when he realized that I was completely alone. "Is... Is the lad with you, by any chance?"

"I don't know where he is," I whispered. "Shaun's been kidnapped."

I felt like the worst mother in the world.

"It's worse than I thought. You're suffering from hunger-induced paranoia!" Codsworth exclaimed. "Not eating properly for two hundred years will do that to you, I'm afraid."

It was somewhere along there that my brain stopped working properly. I just stared blankly ahead for several seconds.

"Two... Hundred... Years?" I repeated slowly. "Wh- what do you...?"

"A bit over 210, actually, ma'am," he precised. "Give or take a little for the Earth's rotation and some minor dings to my chronometer."

"Your chronometer is _broken_ ," I insisted. "There's no way it's been 200 years!"

"Oh no, ma'am. I am positively certain that I got it right. This means that... You're two centuries late for dinner!" He laughed nervously. "Perhaps I can get you a snack? You must be famished!"

Why was he changing the subject?

"Codsworth, you're acting... a bit weird." I wrinkled my nose. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I..." He hesitated for a moment, but obviously couldn't keep it all inside anymore. "Oh, it's been just terrible! Two centuries with no one to talk to, no one to serve. I spent the first _ten years_ trying to get the floors waxed, but nothing gets out nuclear fallout from vinyl wood. Nothing!" He lamented. "And don't get me started on the futility of dusting a collapsed house! And the car... Oh, the car! How do you polish _rust_?"

That was it? _That_ was what he was so concerned about? My family was _gone_ and he was worrying about loneliness?!

"Please, try to focus," I said through gritted teeth. I didn't exactly want to lose my temper. "What happened?"

"I'm afraid I don't know. The bombs came, and all of you left in such a hurry. I thought for certain that you and your family were... dead." He said the word quietly, as though it were forbidden or taboo. It wasn't - it just hurt. "I did find this holotape," he offered, handing me the rectangular object. I reluctantly took it in my hands. "I believe your husband was going to present it to you. As a surprise. But then... Well, everything happened."

"Yeah," I said quietly, letting my fingers brush against the smooth texture of the tape. "It's something at least. Thank you, Codsworth."

"Let it serve as a reminder, ma'am. Of... of happier days."

I nodded and slid it into a larger pocket located on my thigh. (The Vault suit was incredibly capacious, I noticed.)

"Now. Enough feeling sorry for ourselves," Codsworth commanded. "Shall we search the neighborhood together? Master Nathaniel and young Shaun might just turn up."

I knew that they wouldn't, but maybe he was right. Maybe I did need a distraction.

"Alright. Lead the way."

"Proud to serve, ma'am!"

We searched every single house in Sanctuary Hills. It couldn't have taken more than an hour - the town was just several detached houses gathered around one street - but it left me feeling completely drained. The searching itself wasn't even that tiring, but the emotional strain was nearly too much. Every time we saw a skeleton of someone I had known, I had to ask Codsworth to continue on his own while I sat down feeling nauseous. Everything was in a, bigger or smaller, state of decay, and everything reminded me of how everyone was dead.

Two hundred years. It's really been that long - not only did the state of the whole town back it up, the date on my Pip-Boy confirmed it too. It was October 23, the year 2287. Exactly two hundred and ten years. Even the date was the same.

I had been frozen for two centuries. Everyone I had ever known was dead. Shaun had been kidnapped - how long ago? I knew I had been frozen twice - one time before they took him and one afterwards. But which had been longer? Maybe he had been taken a hundred years ago... Even if it had only been a month or a few the second time... I had to face that I would probably never be able to find him.

I had, truly, lost _everything_.

I was standing outside, leaning on the wall of my old house while Codsworth searched the last remaining building. I didn't feel very well. Maybe it was the air here - according to the Pip-Boy, I was constantly absorbing small doses of radiation. (Even though that amount was harmless, I found it unsettling.)

Codsworth hovered out of the house.

"Your family isn't here either..." He thought aloud. "They're really gone, aren't they?"

"Yes..." I said quietly. "But thanks for trying."

"You could always try the city. Concord is nearby - and the people there have only shot at me a _few_ times."

... _People_ _?_

"There's still people alive in Concord?!" I exclaimed. "That should have been the first thing to tell me!"

"I'm sorry, ma'am. But these people, they are a bit... Rough, if you might. I hadn't tried to get closer to them... But you might have a chance, with you being... Human."

"Well... Thanks, Codsworth. It's something at least." I took a step towards the door. "Are you... Coming with me?"

"No, ma'am, I'd rather not. But I do wish you the best of luck!"

Well, if the people in Concord shot at him, it was no wonder he wasn't eager to go there. But still... People. Just when I was getting used to the thought that I'm all alone, it suddenly turned out that I wasn't.

Concord hadn't been that far away before the War - an hour's walk from Sanctuary Hills, at the utmost. And if what Codsworth was saying was the truth, the city was still there. It simply made sense that I should head there - if not to find Shaun, at least to get some information on the current situation in the world. I had to face the fact that if it _had_ been 200 years, I was completely out of touch with reality.

I crossed the decaying wooden bridge carefully, having to maneuver between the rusty cars that stood abandoned on the road. They probably had been standing there for two centuries. Which, in a strange and twisted way, had been just yesterday...

It was all so confusing... And to top it all... why would someone kidnap my son? Of all the people to choose from, why destroy _my_ family?

And _how long ago had that been_?

I noticed the bright red sign of a Red Rocket gas station and truck stop to the right from the road. I was grateful to the world for not having had changed so much - I could remember the station from back in my time. And that meant I was going in the right direction.

"The best thing, honestly," I thought aloud, "is that the roads are still intact." The best way to make your way around. If there's a road, it must lead somewhere.

I gripped the handle of my pistol when I noticed something move at the gas station.

Stupid me. Of course there had to be some dangers in this new version of the world - I had already seen mutated roaches, what else could have been affected by radiation?

With the gun in my hand and my finger on the trigger, I headed towards the truck stop. Better to attack than to be attacked, I thought. Better to see your enemy than have them sneak up on you.

I heard a growl and nearly jumped up in fear, immediately pointing my pistol in the direction the sound was coming from. I recognized my enemy immediately, but I hesitated before shooting. Because it wasn't any mutated horror like the things I had imagined.

It was a dog.

Not just any dog, at that - an actual purebred German Shepherd. It even looked rather well-kept and healthy, and didn't seem like an animal ready to attack me, save for the fact that it kept on growling.

I lowered my gun, not sure how to act. For all I knew, it may have been rabid or simply vicious, but I knew I wouldn't feel good with shooting a dog. Not unless it did something to me.

The dog stopped acting hostile as soon as I put away the pistol, as if he knew exactly what the object was and that my lowering it meant he was safe.

"What is it, boy?" I asked as I knelt down next to him. "Did you lose your owner?"

The dog let out a whimper as it cuddled to me. I involuntarily smiled.

"Would you like to come with me, then?"

He probably didn't understand most of it, but he jumped up and barked happily as if he had.

I laughed - for the first time since I left the Vault. Since the bombs fell.

"Alright then." I scratched him behind his ear. He didn't bite. "Do you have a name, boy?" I felt his neck for a collar or something like that, but I didn't find anything. "Well, I suppose we'll come up with something. Right?"

I stood up and looked down at the dog to see if he would follow. It seemed that he had already gotten attached to me.

"Okay." I said, putting my pistol in its holster as I got back on the road. "Let's go, pal."

After twenty minutes, walking became even worse than tiring: simply boring. At some point I tried to make the dog play fetch, but he didn't seem to understand that I was throwing those tires for a reason.

Out of boredom and a fair amount of interest, I began fiddling with my Pip-Boy, curious as to what options the device might have. So far I've noticed that, along with monitoring my health state, it also had access to my inventory and helped sort the items in my pockets. Which, I thought, could prove useful in the future.

It could also display the map of the whole state and, if I was understanding correctly, I could even use it like a GPS - if I knew where I was going. And since I knew, I input the name Concord and watched as a small arrow appeared on the screen and pointed ahead of me. So it had a built-in compass too.

And there was the radio. I was immediately thrilled at that discovery, because I was sure it would prove to be a great way to gather information on the current political situation in the world.

According to the Pip-Boy, there were only two frequencies it could pick up: Classical Radio and Diamond City Radio. Mildly curious, I tapped on the screen when the name Classical Radio was displayed.

The first sounds of a familiar melody burst from the Pip-Boy's speakers - _The Morning_ by Edvard Grieg. Joined with the depressing landscape of a world destroyed by nuclear war and its fallout, the song seemed grotesque at least.

How was I supposed to turn it off? I tried pressing various buttons, but the music refused to go out. I even tried tapping into the other radio station, but when a cheerful upbeat song replaced the classical piece, I decided that, if I had to choose, I preferred listening to Grieg than Five Stars.

The dog whimpered. I winced too.

"I know the music is loud, boy. Believe me, I do." I shrugged. "But I really can't do anything about it."

I glanced at the Pip-Boy on my wrist - and smirked as I saw the analogy to looking at a wristwatch - to see if Concord was still far. It wasn't. Actually, I could see some buildings ahead of us already.

"See?" I said, as if to prove my point - although the dog couldn't care less and there wasn't much of a point to prove. "We're almost there."

I had to admit that I'd been alone for too long. Hopefully Codsworth was right and there were really people alive in Concord. So far I hadn't seen a living soul since the apocalypse, and all the bodies I had found had been skeletons of people who had died when the bombs fell - two hundred years ago. There was _nothing_ that would indicate that life had as much as gone on afterwards.

But all my doubts were scattered to the winds as soon as I entered Concord. Oh yes, there certainly _were_ people there - I could hear gunshots.

With my heart in my throat, I readied my 10mm pistol. As if agreeing to my caution, my dog growled and bared his teeth.

"Sense a fight coming, boy?" I asked with concern. The gunshots were getting louder the closer I got to the town's center.

Beethoven's 5th suddenly came on and I fired the gun, startled by the abrupt sound. The interval after the previous song had been so long that I had nearly forgotten that the radio was even on.

"Dammit."

There was no hiding my presence anymore. And to top all that, I had wasted one of my precious twelve bullets - I now only had eleven. And I was really hoping I wouldn't have to use them.

No, there had to be some reason there was a shooting. Maybe there _wasn't_ any real threat the citizens of Concord had to defend themselves against and those people were just... practicing.

Even I could see how stupid that sounded.

No, there was certainly something going on. I had only eleven bullets and I hadn't fired a gun for well over 200 years, but I was pretty sure I could help whoever was in need of that help.

I checked the magazine of my gun - two bullets loaded, nine in my pocket. I glanced at the dog standing by my side. However silly it sounded, I was glad to have that company with me, even if it wasn't another human being. At least I wasn't rushing into God knew what completely alone.

I sped up to a fast run. If I was supposed to help these people, I had to hurry.

I eventually reached the main street. Most buildings were either completely destroyed or only half-collapsed, but a few somehow remained mostly intact - most notably, the large edifice at the crossing - the Museum of Freedom. I had been there a few times back in the day. It was somewhat comforting to see the building nearly untouched.

What was less comforting was the sight of blood an gore splattered all over the road, and the people who were running from one car to another in search for cover as gunfire came from the windows of the museum. I came to a stop right there, in the middle of the street, unable to take in the situation.

I hadn't been very surprised to learn that people were fighting for survival out here. But I hadn't suspected that they were fighting _each other_...

It seemed that the larger group of people outside were besieging the museum and whoever had locked themselves inside.

Whose side was I supposed to take? It didn't seem like there was going to be any point in negotiation - my law experience told me better than that. This conflict had long since crossed the boundary of rationality; now it was to kill or to be killed.

I should end this. But who to help?

The question answered itself as one of the men on the ground, the one who was the nearest, noticed me and simply attacked. He didn't even ask if I was on his side. He just pulled out what looked like a homemade machinegun and fired.

I acted on instinct - I quickly jumped to the left, whatever I had to do not to stand in that place, and rolled over. I ran to a rusty car and crouched behind it. My heart was beating wildly in my chest. Someone had just tried to kill me! I tightened the grip on my pistol so hard that my knuckles were becoming white.

I peeked out from behind the car and aimed as well as I could. The man was reloading his weapon and I gladly took that opportunity. I pulled the trigger of my 10mm and sent the bullet flying in his direction. It hit his torso and the man fell to the ground with a moan. I wasn't sure if he was even dead, but I didn't bother to check - the people in the museum needed help.

I ran towards the building, where most of the fighting seemed to be taking place. A young woman dressed in rags and straps of metal attacked me with a tire iron but I managed to jump away in time and she ran forwards, carried by force of her swing. I put a bullet in her back.

I didn't even feel like I was doing something wrong by killing these people - this was self-defense. They were trying to kill me _without any apparent reason,_ so I felt that my actions were completely justified.

I looked up at the museum. There was a man standing on the balcony and shooting at the attackers below with some kind of an energy weapon. I was hoping he wouldn't shoot at _me_ as well, but for now I couldn't worry my head with things like that.

My immediate survival was more important.

I dove to the ground as a series from a semi-automatic pistol filled the air just where I had been standing mere moments before. Terrified, I watched as the man with the gun - the last remaining opponent on the street - aimed it at me again. My heart sank. I knew that I would not be able to stand up fast enough to avoid the next shot.

The man staggered backwards as my dog suddenly jumped at him and bit into his arm. I quickly pulled myself up, my relief beyond measure. The man managed to throw the dog away - it hit a lamp post with a whimper - but I was already by his side. He got hit with the handle of my pistol before he even realized what was going on.

I stood there for a moment, panting from the sheer intensity of what had just happened.

"Hey, you alright?!" Someone shouted. I looked around, baffled. What...? Everyone around me was dead. "Up here! On the balcony!"

I looked up. The man who had been shooting the besiegers earlier was now waving his weapon as if that would make him more easily spotted.

"What's going on?!" I shouted in response.

"I've got a group of settlers inside!" He answered. "The raiders are almost through that door! Please, you need to help us!"

My mind worked on simple associations: settler - good, raider - bad. The ones that had attacked me had been raiders.

"Just try to hold out for a few more minutes!" I shouted and, without waiting for the man's response, ran to where my dog had fallen. He was still alive, but it was more than obvious he had taken some damage - he was trying to get up, but kept on failing. When I knelt down by his side, he whimpered sadly.

"Good job, boy." I ruffled the hair on his head. "You saved my life."

I really needed to give that dog a name.

I pulled out a Stimpak from my Vault suit's pocket. I still didn't entirely trust that technology, and this one was over two hundred years old. To add up, I had no idea if it would even work on an animal.

I shook my head. This wasn't the right time for hesitations. Without overthinking it, I injected the syringe into the thick hide on the lower part of his neck. I wasn't an expert, but I thought that was where veterinarians did injections to animals.

The effect was nearly immediate as the dog stood up and proceeded to lick my hand with affection. I smiled at that.

"Let's go," I said as I turned towards the Museum of Freedom. "We're not done yet."

I checked my pistol again - the magazine was empty. I loaded the last remaining nine bullets into the gun. This would have to do for now.

I gently pushed the door to the museum and, once it swung open, slipped inside.

I was greeted by a storm of gunfire! I yelped as a bullet sank into my right shoulder, making it impossible for me to fire my gun. I only had enough time to look around the large hall - dead bodies, broken pieces of furniture and various object I couldn't identify were scattered all over the floor. I could spot three raiders on the mezzanine up above; they were the ones who shot at me - before I dove into the hallway to the right. Thankfully, I had been to that museum before and I still remembered the general outlay of corridors.

I followed down the hallway among mannequins dressed in revolutionary and British uniforms. Of course, this was the exhibition dedicated to the Revolutionary War - the whole museum was.

" _Down with British_ _dictatorship_ _!_ " A recorded voice came from the speakers, followed by tinny shouts and the sound of shooting. I was partially amazed at how the system still worked after two hundred years and partially concerned I would not be able to tell apart the war reenactment from real gunshots.

I leaned against a wall, my left palm pressed to my right shoulder. The bullet must have gone straight through, but I still had to stop the bleeding. I could easily see the green flashing warning displayed on the Pip-Boy on my left forearm - my right arm had taken critical damage. The advised course of action was immediately using a Stimpak or contacting medical services.

I did the former.

I experimentally moved my arm around, but the pain was all gone. The wound hadn't healed completely yet, but I could feel that my body, aided by the chemicals and nanotechnology from the injection, was already repairing itself.

The dog looked up at me curiously.

"I'm fine," I said, though I did it mostly to reassure myself, not him. "Let's go. We've to help those people."

It didn't take me long to find the stairs up, and from then it was quite easy. I ran out onto the mezzanine with my pistol ready and as soon as I spotted the nearest raider - a woman around my age, dressed in crudely scrapped metal armor and holding a rusty rifle - I fired two shots at her. The first one hit her in the chest, making her stagger backwards, wounded but not dead. The second one hit her left forearm, but didn't penetrate the armor. The woman swore loudly and aimed her weapon at me.

Panicked, I grabbed the pistol with both hands, including the one equipped with the Pip-Boy, in order to make my aim steadier. I managed to hit the woman in the head, which killed her on the spot.

I turned towards the second raider, this one a man, and aimed at his torso. I fired twice, which left me with only five bullets - the Pip-Boy also kept track of that. Both hit him in the chest and neither penetrated the armor. That was bad.

I quickly aimed at the man's head and pulled the trigger before he had the chance to recover from the shock of getting shot. I missed.

I groaned in pain when someone attacked me - not from up front as I had expected, but from the left. I had forgotten about the last raider and thus allowed him to sneak up on me and hit me with an empty glass bottle.

The bottle itself shattered as soon as it came in contact with my head, but it didn't mean the blow wasn't painful. It was, and I fell to the floor. I quickly shook my head and, before the man would have the chance to attack me while I was vulnerable, I packed three bullets into his face.

He was dead even before his body hit the floor. I turned towards the second raider, but I couldn't spot him. I nearly panicked, but then I finally noticed him laying on the ground nearby - dead - with his throat nearly ripped apart. The dog was sitting nearby, his snout covered in blood.

Despite the image being gory, I smiled at my canine companion. I was glad to have him on my side.

"Whew," I said and took the moment to pet him with affection. "That was intense." I hid my pistol in its holster and turned towards the last remaining door that was still closed. "We're nearly done here."

I turned the knob and calmly pushed the door open. This time, I wasn't expecting a fight.

"Man, I don't know who you are, but your timing's impeccable!" The balcony man exclaimed as soon as I entered the room "If it weren't for you, we would all be dead now."

The man was in his early thirties and looked as though he had been taken alive from the War of Independence - full with the musket he was holding. The pale brown coat he had thrown over an old-fashioned shirt and vest contrasted with his dark skin nearly drastically, but, somehow, he made it look good. Overly, he made a much better impression than the raiders.

"Glad to have helped," I replied with a laugh. "Now, who have I helped?"

"Preston Garvey, Commonwealth Minutemen," he introduced himself as we shook hands.

"Minutemen?" I asked, arching an eyebrow with a smirk. His outfit, his manner of speaking, the muskets... What was this, post-apocalyptic roleplay? "Am I going _backwards_ in time now?"

He either didn't get the joke, or was treating this Minutemen business seriously.

"Protecting the people, at a minute's notice. That was the original idea, at least. So I signed up, wanted to make a change. But everything went to hell surprisingly soon, and now it seems I'm the last Minuteman."

"Okay," I said. "So if you're the last Minuteman, then who are these people?"

"The settlers I've sworn to protect. They just want to live in peace - something those raiders can't understand. But we keep on losing people. Just yesterday, there was nearly a dozen of us - now it's just Sturges here," he nodded towards a man who was typing some things into a terminal nearly all the time, "the Longs - Marcy and Jun - and old Mama Murphy." He sighed. "I can't take this anymore. First the ghouls in Lexington, and now this... I promised to get these people to safety. I promised."

Technically, I was only here to look for my son, but I couldn't deny the fact that these people needed help much more desperately than I did.

"I might help with that," I said. "I mean, I can help you escort them to a safe place if it's relatively nearby."

"You can?" Preston Garvey looked at me with disbelief. "That would be amazing. I have a place that's nearby on mind. We just need to get out of here first."

"It's fine. I killed all the raiders." I tried to smile while saying that.

"Oh, but there will be more of them," interjected the man called Sturges - I had a feeling that wasn't his real name, but then again, what did it matter? "They just never give up. But!" He grinned. "I have a great plan on how to get rid of them nice and quick! And with your help, it might just work."

"Uh... Sure. I'll help."

I took a step back when Preston Garvey attacked Sturges with inquiries about 'another of his reckless plans'. Clearly this wasn't the first time the man suggested something that didn't work.

"Hey, kid."

I looked around to see who was speaking to me. It was the old woman sitting on the sofa - Mama Murphy, if I gathered it all correctly.

"Excuse me, but are you talking to me?" I asked her. "Is something the matter?"

"I was right, kid. Dogmeat sure did find us help. Just look at ya!"

"Dogmeat?" I repeated, then glanced at the German Shepherd. "So he's your dog?"

"Oh, he ain't my dog," the old woman laughed. "Dogmeat, he's what you'd call... his own man. You can't own a free spirit like that." She smiled. "But he chooses his friends, an' sticks with them. He'll stay with you now."

"So... it's a stray?" I summed up. "I'm sorry, but I really don't think you can predict how he will act."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, kid. I know I don't really make sense. I need to rest now. An' you have a job to do."

A job...? Oh, that's right. Sturges wanted me to help with getting us out of that place.

"What's your plan?" I asked him.

"There's a crashed vertibird on the roof of this building," he said. It didn't escape my notice that his grin made him look like a maniac. "I'm sure you noticed it when you were outside."

"Actually, I was a bit occupied with fighting for my life," I said with a fair share of sarcasm. "So forgive me if I didn't have the time to look up."

I winced when the song playing from my Pip-Boy's speakers grew louder and louder as it approached its climax. Sturges didn't appear too happy about that fact, either.

"A Pip-Boy is really very impressive," he said. "Really. But if you keep this radio as loud as it is, you'll inform every raider from here to Lexington of your location. It's not exactly inconspicuous."

I sighed.

"Yeah, I know. But I have no idea how to turn it off. Do you?"

"Sorry," he shook his head. "But I've never even _seen_ one in real life." He bit his lip, deep in thought. "On second thoughts, though..." He fumbled with the pockets of his mechanic's jumpsuit and produced a small item, which I recognized as a wireless earbud. "You can take this. It won't turn the music off, but at least you'll be more discreet."

"Thanks," I said, gratefully accepting the gift. It was something at least. I put it in my ear and pressed "connect to wireless headset" on the Pip-Boy. Frustratingly enough, that option was far easier to find than turning the music off.

Mozart's _Turkish March_ came on then, but only in my right ear. That was an improvement.

"Where was I...?" Sturges closed his eyes for a moment. "Oh, right. The crashed vertibird on the roof. Anyhow, there is a full set of power armor up there. Pre-war, good engineering. Solid."

"I have a feeling I know where this is headed," I muttered.

"Well, none of us have power armor training, so we can't exactly use it... _You_ , on the other hand..."

"I don't have power armor training." It wasn't exactly a lie. I didn't. But my husband had had, and well... You know how things like that work with couples. I knew the basics. "Fine. I'll do it. But what do you even _need_ power armor for? If it really is 200 years old, I doubt you'll get much protection from it."

"Here is when it gets interesting." He clapped his hands. "Crashed vertibird, check. Power armor, check. But there's not only that armor inside. I'm pretty sure there's also a mounted minigun."

"Pretty sure?" I exclaimed. "This sounds risky and you expect me to go up on that roof because you're _pretty sure_?!"

"I'm one hundred percent sure. It will work. There's only one thing..."

"Don't tell me." I sighed. "The power armor doesn't have power and you guys don't have a fusion core." I was glad to see the surprise on his face: he clearly hadn't expected me to know what powers a suit of power armor. But of course, he had no way of knowing my husband had served in the army.

For now, I was just smug with making the man confused.

"Well... Yes," Sturges admitted. He saw that I was about to protest and raised his arms defensively. "But I know where to find one!"

"Then lead the way," I said sarcastically. "Unless, of course, it's outside where all the raiders are."

"Actually, it isn't."

"Oh." That was the first good news of the hour. "In that case... _Do_ lead the way."

"Alright. Follow me." He led me through the door I had entered the room via and down the stairs to the mezzanine. I looked at the dead raiders in disgust, but Sturges seemed to have different priorities. "You should try to salvage what you can, you know." He nodded his head towards the bodies. "They could have had something useful on them. Weapons, ammo, armor..." He gave me a lingering, criticizing look. "Don't take this badly if I'm wrong, but you look like you're straight out of a Vault. You may not be exactly... in the swim, so to say."

"You have no idea," I said seriously. I was at least two hundred years out of date.

"Then let me give you this piece of advice: this world, it's harsh. In this world, blood flows _a lot_ and there's loads of suffering and killing. I just want you to be aware of that before you go out there and face something you're not mentally ready for." He shook his head. "Basically, I'm trying to say that if you had any restraints before looting the body of a dead man for supplies, don't have them anymore. Because that's what you gotta do to survive out here."

I wasn't sure how to reply, so I just nodded.

"I'll meet you downstairs," Sturges said. "The fusion cure is in the basement, wired up to all sorts of stuff. I'll try to work on that while you search those guys."

He shook his head and gracefully jumped down to the ground floor. I looked down - it couldn't be much more than two meters, but I was pretty sure I would use the stairs anyway.

I knelt down by one of the bodies. The woman was wearing only some rags and patched-up metal armor. I supposed it did provide some protection, but it couldn't be very sturdy. I shook my head. No, I would not be taking that.

I forced myself to slide my hand into the blood-soaked pocket of her shirt. It was completely empty, save for ten Nuka-Cola bottle caps. I stared at them for a moment, because it seemed like about the strangest thing to collect, but eventually, I just shrugged it off. It's not like those people had been in their right minds anyway.

My later search proved more fruitful: I managed to find seven bullets for my 10mm pistol, as well as some ammunition for a weapon I didn't have. Looting the remaining two bodies went much easier, and I soon owned a brand new (relatively speaking, because it looked like it might fall apart at any moment) pipe pistol and thirty-five bullets which actually fit into its hull, as well as a total of twenty-one bullets for my 10mm pistol.

I ran down the stairs to meet up with Sturges.

I found him in the cellar beneath the ticket counters. He was crouching next to a closed metal gate which separated the room in two.

I cleared my throat to announce my presence. Sturges stood up quickly.

"Have you got a bobby pin?" He asked.

"...Yeah." I nodded, confused. "But what do you need it for?"

"To open the lock?" He looked at me as though there was something wrong with my head. "What would _you_ need it for?"

"To pin my hair?"I gave him the same look. "I mean, it's in the name."

His expression told me that I was a completely lost cause. With a heavy sigh, I reached for the hairband which was keeping my long black hair in a ponytail and pulled it off. I then took off the bobby pins that were still entangled in my hair - two on each side, overly four. I handed them to Sturges.

"That hair's a bit long, by the way. It might get in the way of shooting," he noticed. "If I were you, I'd tie it up again."

I was kind of bothered by the way he just so casually said 'it might get in the way of shooting'. Was this really the way the world was now? And my little boy was out there somewhere... The sooner I was done with all of this, the better.

I watched in interest as Sturges meddled with the lock on the gate using only the bobby pins I had given him and a screwdriver.

"Can you teach me?" I asked. He looked at me, surprised.

"I suppose you _could_ try your hand at this lock, but we only have so much time. You sure bought us some, but we are still far from being safe."

I nodded.

"Sure. What do I do?"

"It's simple." Sturges crouched down in front of the lock. "You use the bobby pin to adjust the pressure point. When you think you've found it, just press on with a screwdriver or another similar utensil." He gave me the bobby pin and a red screwdriver I hadn't seen before. "Nothing easier."

"What if I fail?" I asked.

"You'll break something. The pin or the lock, depending on how lucky you are."

"Great. Sounds great," I muttered. "No pressure here."

I inserted the bobby pin into the lock and began slowly turning it around. The lock made clicking noises in one place, and I pressed the screwdriver onto it. But I probably applied too much strength, because the bobby pin broke in two. I was about to complain but then, the lock clicked and the gate nearly automatically swung open. I took a step back, surprised.

"I've done it," I noticed, still not quite believing it. "I've made it."

"Just about time, too." Sturges ran inside and grabbed a small object, which I figured had to be the fusion core. He threw it to me with a grin on his face. I barely managed to catch it in time.

"Now for the real fun."

 **Level up.**  
 **New perk: Locksmith - Your nimble fingers allow you to pick advanced locks.**


	4. On The Road

**Chapter Three  
** **On The Road**

* * *

It is at this point that I think I should probably explain what power armor actually _is_. Because if you imagined just some additional protective piece of clothing, you were wrong. A suit of power armor is a completely standalone one-man battle machine, a testament to the development of science and technology of the early 21st century. Bulky metal frame covers a soldier's entire body, from head to toe, making it - if not impossible - extremely hard to harm the person inside. Aside from the purely mechanical protection, the frame also comes with other advantages, such as the definitely increased strength of the wearer or complete reduction of shock damage. The suit holds you in place - you should be safe even if you jump off a skyscraper.

So with all those amazing things that technology had to offer, it might be hard to impress upon the reader that the moment I entered the suit on the roof of the Museum of Freedom, I only had one thought:

Power armor was definitely not my kind of thing.

It was uncomfortable, heavy, loud, and the interface of the helmet kept on flashing alerts at me. _Fusion core power low. Critical damage to left leg armor. Radiation warning._

It was almost like my Pip-Boy, only more intrusive.

As if ignoring those messages wasn't hard enough, the armor plate on my thighs desperately needed adjusting. Something metal was poking me in the back, so I couldn't even stand upright comfortably.

 _Never again am I wearing this_ , I promised myself. _Just get rid of those raiders and I'm done with power armor for life._

 _"Alright. Nora, can you hear me?"_ A tinny, distorted voice filled the helmet. I recognized it as Sturges.

"Uh... Yeah," I answered. I wasn't sure how this intercom even worked, especially considering he didn't have a set of power armor of his own. "How did you bypass the com system?"

Even though he was a few meters below in a completely different room, I could imagine him rolling his eyes at that.

 _"There's a communications terminal inside here. With a little meddling, it granted me access to all wireless networks in close proximity,"_ he answered flatly. _"Any other questions or can we just carry on with saving our lives?"_

"Fine." I looked around. "I'm on the roof. What do I do?"

 _"Do you see the vertibird?"_

"I'm standing inside," I answered as I looked around the said helicopter. Vertibirds were meant to be reliable - at least had been meant to 200 years ago - but it still managed to surprise me how well-preserved this one was. It was almost as though the technology wasn't touched by the passage of time. "Hold on. I can see the minigun."

The large weapon was merged with the vertibird's floor, clearly designed to be moved around while the vessel was airborne.

 _"Do you think you'll be able to shear it off?"_ Sturges asked. _"Actually, it doesn't matter what you think. You just have to do it."_

I grabbed the minigun with both hands and pulled. It didn't show nearly any resistance and disconnected from the rest of the vertibird - all too easily.

"Whoa," I exclaimed as I took a closer look at what I was standing on. "The whole floor is swollen with rust." The two-hundred-years-old crashed helicopter didn't seem so safe anymore. "But... I've got the minigun."

 _"Great. Can you see the raiders?"_

"I don't know yet..." Holding the minigun tightly with both of my hands, I walked to the edge of the roof to look at the street below. "Holy shit!" I swore when a bunch of bullets hit me in the chest. I jumped back, terrified. My heart was racing like crazy. If I hadn't been wearing that power armor, I would surely have died. "Yes! They're still on the street below."

 _"Then you can start shooting. We'll help you from the balcony, okay?"_

"Roger that," I muttered grimly, the military slang somehow appropriate. "Let's do this."

I pulled the trigger, aware of the fact that the minigun had to warm up before bullets would even start shooting. Then, when it started emitting a humming noise, I dared to take the few steps forward and start shooting.

It was as though all hell had broken loose from the gun I was holding! Bullet after bullet, several per second, I brought death to the raiders on the street below. The man on the roof of the building across the street? I only needed to slightly adjust my target and he was dead.

In less than a minute, it was all over. Not because I had killed everyone, but because I ran out of bullets. And whatever type of ammunition the minigun used, I did not have it on me. It didn't matter that much - there was only one last raider left alive in the street below.

I took out my pipe pistol and aimed at him, but a blue beam of energy hit him in the chest before I even managed to fire.

"I believe the last kill belongs to me," Preston Garvey shouted at me from the balcony. I could hear happiness in his voice.

I took off the helmet of the power armor and inhaled a mouthful of blissfully fresh air. It had smelled like rust inside of that thing.

"We're safe now, right?!" I shouted in response.

"It seems so! We'll meet downstairs and we'll talk!"

I moved away from the ledge and quickly got out of the power armor. It felt amazing to be able to move my limbs completely freely again - even though I had to admit that the metal casing had made me feel stronger. Still, I was glad to be done with it.

I made for the door to the museum and ran down the stairs. The victory had made me quite happy, actually. Whatever sick and twisted world I had entered, I was able to survive in it.

I found everyone gathered in the main hall, in front of the ticket booths. They all looked at me in a completely different way now - it was almost respect. And Preston Garvey seemed actually amazed.

"That was... a pretty impressive display," he said seriously. "I'm just glad you're on _our_ side."

I took a moment to wonder what would have happened if I had judged the situation differently. If I had sided with the raiders.

"Yeah, me too." I said honestly. "Are you guys gonna be alright from now on?"

"Yeah," Sturges gave me a cocky grin. "The place Preston picked for us is pretty close anyway. We'll make it."

"If you're sure you don't need any more help... I guess I'll be going." It was kind of hard to just leave the first sane people I had met in this new world (I had already decided that the raiders had not been in their right minds), but I simply didn't know what to do with myself. If there was one thing I was sure of, it was that I wanted to go as far away from Sanctuary Hills and Vault 111 as it was possible. Concord was still too close, I had to go... Maybe Boston...

"Why such a hurry?" Preston Garvey raised an eyebrow at me.

"I've lost my son, he's been kidnapped." But I don't know how long ago or where to look. "I'm not _in a hurry_ , I just want to get my hands on the bastard who took him and killed my husband."

Revenge. Maybe not the noblest of inducements, but that _was_ what motivated me.

Something dawned on me - these people lived in this world. They had to know how it worked.

"Any ideas where I should look?" I asked.

"Well, that's not too hard." Sturges put a hand on my shoulder. "The Great Green Jewel of the Commonwealth!" He said it like it was an advertisement catchphrase. "Diamond City."

"Diamonds aren't green," I blurted out without thinking. "...And I have no idea what you're talking about."

"It's the biggest settlement around," Garvey explained. "If you're looking for someone in the Commonwealth, there ought to be someone in Diamond City who knows someone who knows the person you're looking for."

" _And_ I heard there's a detective agency there," said Sturges. "I don't know what happened to your kid, and I'm not asking to know, but they mostly work on missing person cases." His eyes darkened. "Especially what with the Institute lately..." He added quietly.

"What was that?" I asked. I had barely heard that last part.

"Oh come on. You might be new in the Commonwealth, but surely you've heard of the Institute." Those were the first words the other woman, Marcy Long, had said to me. "You can't be _that_ clueless."

I bit my lip - completely unintentionally, she made me realize that I _really_ was completely clueless. How was I to know how the world worked now? Well... There was one very simple way.

"On second thoughts... Can I go with you?"

My past experience as a lawyer told me that the best way to get reliable information was talking to someone. And since I already kind of knew these people, I could ask _them_ about the things I didn't understand yet.

The best source of information of the whole five was, as I soon learned, Preston Garvey. Sturges tended to get too flippant about things that were serious to me. Jun Long was obviously depressed (I asked Sturges about it later and it turned out that the raiders had killed his son), so I didn't want to intrude on him. It was clear that Marcy Long didn't want to socialize with me in any way. And old Mama Murphy gave me the creeps, especially with her supposed supernatural abilities. But Preston Garvey, he seemed like a sensible man. He talked _ad rem._ When there was something that needed to be said, he just said it. I liked that straightforwardness.

I agreed to escort them to the place they had chosen for their new settlement in return for some information, and it seemed to be paying off - I learned some things about what was what now.

First of all, after the war, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts had been renamed to simply the Commonwealth - and it seemed that for most people, it was the entire world they knew.

There were no countries anymore - there wasn't any institution of law or government, either. (All those years working on a law degree, in vain.) America - or the whole world, I couldn't entirely grasp that - was mostly referred to as the Wasteland - I could see the reasons for that, at least. It _was_ a wasteland.

But that wasn't my favorite. My favorite was the money.

 _Bottle caps._

That's what people after the apocalypse used as a currency. Soda bottle caps. I supposed that explained why I had found a fair amount of those on the raiders. But even though it seemed to make sense, I couldn't help but feel amused whenever I thought about it. I was sure that if I would ever be in the situation of buying something in the Wasteland, I would burst into laughter the moment I would have to use bottle caps to pay. Somehow, it seemed more ridiculous than all the other things I'd seen that day.

And it _had_ been one crazy day. From seeing my husband murdered in front of me, my son getting kidnapped, through fighting with mutated cockroaches (which still creeped me out when I thought about it) and learning that two hundred years had passed... The thing that finally managed to tip the balance of normality was _bottle caps as a currency_. That was the moment when I officially decided that this new world was completely twisted.

"You're full of questions," Preston Garvey commented.

"Oh, I've got many more," I replied. "But... this is completely absurd." I laughed out loud - my nerves were bound to give in eventually, and I guessed that was it. "None of this makes sense. You realize that, right?"

"I'm... not sure I know what you're talking about," he admitted. He seemed genuinely confused.

"This." I waved my hand around. "Everything. It's crazy."

I looked around at the sickish grey ground and leafless trees. Even the plants were dead... That was depressing.

"Watch your step here," Sturges warned and I instinctively looked up at the road ahead. I was met with the familiar sight of a small wooden bridge over a stream and a peaceful street with colorful houses on both sides... Except the bridge was half-collapsed into the water (which caused the Geiger counter in my Pip-Boy to click aggressively), the houses destroyed and the street overgrown with grass.

I was home.

"Sanctuary," Preston Garvey said ceremonially. "The place is in an even better state than I had hoped."

"Sanctuary _Hills_ ," I corrected automatically, staring ahead. I didn't understand. Why would they want to settle down _here_ , in a graveyard? So many memories...

"I think we can make it work." Preston walked to the nearest house and patted the wall. I followed him without a word. "The buildings are solid, and it's a good place. Not many threats nearby. With a lot of work and some TLC, we can clean up all the rubble... Then maybe set up a farm to plant some food... We could really settle down here. Make it a home." He looked at me. "What do you think?"

"It was a good home," I answered quietly.

"It 'was'?" He repeated. "Whoa. You're not saying you used to live here? But that was..."

"Yeah," I said. "About two hundred years ago." I looked at his shocked expression. "I know."

"Holy shit." That was the first swear I had heard him say. "That's hard to believe... But I guess it explains why you're so interested in how everything works. You must feel completely confused."

"You have no idea."

"Whoa," Sturges whistled. "That's impressive. You say you're from before the Great War? How is that even possible?"

"I'm not sure, we were frozen inside of those pods... Hold on, what?" I shook my head. "Sorry, the 'Great War'?" I repeated, unsure whether I should laugh or not. I knew, of course, that historical events were never given a name while they lasted - that happened once they were over. So it was completely reasonable that the war that was over now did have a name, but... "The Great War? _That's_ how you called that war?"

"How _else_ would you call it?" Sturges raised an eyebrow at me.

"My personal guess would be World War III," I admitted.

"There had been two other world wars before, then." He summed up. "But I doubt either of them led to nearly completely wiping humanity out."

He did have a point. That war had been worse than any other before it - I could still see its aftermath all around me.

"It's funny..." I said. "Before World War II broke out, people used to refer to the first as 'the Great War'. History has a peculiar sense of humor."

"It does, doesn't it?" Preston Garvey tried to smile, but it didn't entirely work. I guessed he knew some history, taking how he was into this whole Minutemen business. "All right people, if we want to make this place a home, we need to start now or else we're sleeping outside tonight!" He clapped his hands together. "Let's do this."

That was when I remembered something.

"I'll... Be right back." I said and walked in the direction of my old house. The sight of it in that state was still hard for me to take. Just yesterday... Just two hundred years ago... _Just yesterday_ everything had been fine. I shook my head. No, I didn't have the time to dwell on everything like that.

"Codsworth? Are you here?" I called out.

"Ma'am?" The robot's voice came from, as always, right behind me. It was kind of scary how stealthy he could be. "Are you back already? Did you find help in Concord?"

I adjusted the 10mm pistol on my thigh as I contemplated the answer. Help? Not exactly - those people had needed it more than me.

"I made some friends," I said diplomatically.

He seemed content - if robots even have such emotions.

"Never too much of those nowadays."

"You may have a point..." I thought about the raiders in Concord, about how they had attacked me without any reason. I hoped that was not the way most people were now... The world had already seen its share of bloodshed and violence.

"And what about young Shaun?" Codsworth asked. "Did you manage to find the lad?"

"I know where to look," I said. "At least, where to _begin_ looking... That's something, I guess."

"Nothing like good ol' optimism!" I swear, if robots could smile, Codsworth would be grinning. "Now, ma'am... I'm aware that I'm just a humble housekeeper model, but if you need any assistance - or just company - in your journey, I'm always ready and primed for action!"

I really didn't need to think that proposal through.

"No." I shook my head with a smile. "Thanks, Codsworth. But I've got a far more important task for you now."

"I'll gladly fulfill any purpose you may think of!"

I smiled to myself - I knew exactly how to make this all work out well for everyone.

"These people, the newcome settlers, will be your neighbors from now on. They are also my friends, and I would like you to care for them as much as it is in your capacity."

"Consider it done, ma'am!"

"But don't think of this as a one-time task. This is your main purpose from now on, do you understand?"

"Of course, ma'am!" He did an imitation of a salute.

I nodded my head with a content smile.

"Wow!" Sturges exclaimed when we emerged outside. He dropped a crate he had been carrying and stared at my robotic companion. "You've got a robot butler! I want a robot butler!"

"Then I guess it's your lucky day." I patted him on the shoulder. "Listen, I think I need to get going now..." I instinctively glanced at my wrist, but I didn't have a watch. The Pip-Boy said that it was already past nine in the evening. "I've got to find my son. You understand that, right?"

"Oh yes, sure." Sturges sacrificed his interest in Codsworth for the sake of our conversation. "But I wouldn't advise you to do it now. The Commonwealth's not a safe place to travel alone, especially at night."

"I appreciate the concern," I said while shaking my head. "But it's not like I'll be completely alone. After all, I've got Dogmeat... Dogmeat?" I glanced round and realized that I hadn't actually seen the dog since I got to the Museum of Freedom. "Dogmeat!" I called out, hoping that he would actually recognize that name.

"It's no use," Mama Murphy laughed as she walked past us, holding a toolbox in her hands. "He doesn't work like that."

"Well, then... I'll go alone."

"Listen, I'll keep on repeating this until you get it: you won't do your son any good if you're dead." Sturges put a hand to his forehead. "This is not a race. You can wait until tomorrow. Get some sleep. Eat up. Gather supplies. I don't care what you do, just spend the night here where it's safe."

"...Fine," I agreed reluctantly. I didn't want to argue any more - mostly because I had to admit that he was right and I was just making a stubborn fool out of myself. "I can help you settle down here if you want."

"Great." He picked up the crate he had dropped when he saw Codsworth. "We're gonna need food, a water supply, some defense... But for now, I guess we can fortify the houses here. You can help with that."

He pointed me to where they had stashed some boards stripped off of decaying houses and instructed me to cover up the windows. I began working with vigor - at least there was a point in that work. Besides, keeping my hands busy with something was a great way to get my mind off the more heavy subjects.

"Mind if I help you?" Sturges knelt down next to me. "You missed a spot."

I looked where he was pointing and noticed a thin slit between two boards I had put up earlier.

"That's not entirely possible to cover up," I noticed, trying to keep the sarcasm out of my voice.

"Here. Look." He pulled a circular object out of the pocket of his dungarees. "I'm using this for nearly everything, save medical operations. That... doesn't work well." The object was just regular duct tape. He split off a fragment and used it to cover the hole.

"That's ingenious." I wasn't even sure whether I was supposed to be sarcastic or honest.

"My dad used to say duct tape can fix everything," Sturges said seriously. "...Though he _probably_ wasn't talking about bullet holes."

I chuckled.

"Laugh look good on you," he noticed. "You should smile more often."

"...Thanks. I... I'll remember that." I looked down at the ground.

"Well, I've got my own work to do, so I've to leave you." He took a look at the pile of boards I was using and noticed that there was only one left. "Jun's been cutting some wood, if you need more."

I stood up and looked at my handiwork with a critical eye. If what these people were preparing for was just regular storms and wind, it would do the job. But I had no idea if the radiation from the War had affected weather in any way. For all I knew, nuclear winter might just be true. But I supposed there was no point in worrying about that now.

I just needed to get the job done.

"I came here for more boards," I said to Jun Long after I found him using an old car as a table and cutting wood into smaller planks.

"Oh... We just ran out of those." His voice was quiet and still on the edge of sobbing. I wondered if that would be my reaction if Shaun had died. The only reason I hadn't broken down after Nate's death was the drive for revenge and the need to find my son - I was aware of that. But now I was talking to a man who had had it the opposite way than me - he had lost his son, but his wife had survived. And he was shattered. "I'm just cutting trees now... They're dead anyway, so it's not like it's wrong..."

"I'm sorry about your son," I said and immediately regretted doing it, because he looked at me with hurt shining in his eyes. No, I needed to say this. Just to get it off my chest. "I understand how you feel." I looked down. "My son, Shaun, has been kidnapped. He must be so scared, so very _terrified_... He's only one year old, and I..." I shut my eyes. "I don't even know whether he's still alive or not."

"Oh, I..." He seemed hurt. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea..."

"It's fine. I try not to show it."

"And yet you're here, helping us out, you live on... You _laugh_ and enjoy life... How?"

He pushed down the plank and put up another one.

"Work helps," I admitted. "But, honestly, all you can do is just live on. One day at a time. That way, it doesn't hurt."

"Yeah." He brought down the saw with just a bit too much strength. The board split in half. "Shit... Uh, anyway... I don't suppose you'll stick around, in this case."

I shook my head as I helped him put up another branch.

"You people are nice, but... I really need to find my son. Surely you understand that."

Besides, I couldn't stay in Sanctuary Hills. There were too many memories connected to this place, too much pain. When I found Shaun, I would find us some new, different place to stay... Maybe there was a way to lead a peaceful life in this world...

It was just now beginning to sink in, with all the gravity that there was no way for me to return to the life I had had before. Even if I did find Shaun, nothing would ever be the same again. I couldn't turn back time.

"I'm sorry... I have to go now."

I quickly walked away.

"Are you alright?" Preston Garvey asked when I passed him by. I was sure I was pale. "You look like you're sick."

"I'm... I don't know." I closed my eyes and put my hand to my temple. I felt lightheaded. "You've lived in this world all your life, right?"

"Does this have something to do with you being... You know, from before the War?" He looked at me with mild curiosity.

"Maybe. I just... When I first left Vault 111, I encountered those... enormous cockroaches. Might have been mutated." I laughed nervously. "But... I just wanted to make sure - that's not... normal, right?"

"Do you mean radroaches?" He asked. Radroaches, radioactive roaches - the name made sense. "Because if so, then that's pretty much what you'll see all over the Wasteland."

"Mutated roaches..." I felt weak. The world really had changed a lot. "Is there anything else that's mutated into something else...? Like, are there mutated dogs, or horses or..." _Or humans_. I didn't dare say that one aloud.

"I guess." Preston adjusted the strap of his laser musket on his shoulder. "Technically, everything in this world has been affected by radiation in some way at some point. It may be hard to find something that is natural to you."

"Oh." I hadn't thought about it like that. "But there aren't mutated _people_ , right? There aren't any... radmen."

"Ghouls," he corrected automatically. Then, he looked at me. "Oh god, you don't know about ghouls... It's pretty important that you learn this before you meet one." He cleared his throat nervously. "Ghouls are people... People who have been exposed to a large amount of radiation and survived that. They look like living corpses, but inside they're still people. However... They live a very long time. And that does a thing to a person's mind... You can go insane. And if you go in the wrong place, you might find yourself face to face with a ghoul gone completely feral."

"Like zombies," I said.

"Yes, but... Like I said, it doesn't happen to all ghouls. There are some who are from before the War and are still completely sane." It sounded as though this was meant to cheer me up after hearing about the feral ghouls. And it did.

"There are people back from my time still alive?!" I exclaimed.

"That kind of depends on your definition of 'alive'. But yes, you could say that."

"But that's... That's wonderful news!"

The revelation that, in some way, I wasn't the only survivor of the War was like a blessing, especially after the realization that there was no going back. It was as though all hope suddenly returned to me.

"Look, I uh... I know you said what you said, and I understand that you need to find your son, but... The Minutemen could really use someone like you." He offered me a smile. "I'll understand if you leave the first thing in the morning..."

"The Minutemen," I repeated slowly. "You said you were the last Minuteman. If I'm getting this correctly, you used to be some kind of local militia, right? But then, as you put it, 'things went to hell' and as a result you're the only person left who wants to fight for a good cause, am I right?"

"Mostly, yes." He nodded.

"You do realize it's not going to work?" I decided to be as brutally honest as it was possible. "The chances that you'll mobilize enough people in this wasteland to actually form a force to be reckoned with are... Well, rather slim."

"So that's a no, then," he summed up.

"It's not like that. I'm still kind of... overwhelmed by all of this. I need time to adjust to the way the world is now, and I'd just like to do it alone for now..."

"It's fine," he raised his hands defensively. "I'm not holding any grudges."

"I'm glad." I glanced at my watch - my _Pip-Boy._ It was past ten already. "Where can I sleep? I don't think I'd be able to help out much anyway... Today has been very hard on me. You know, emotionally." Not to mention I'd been shot at. Repeatedly.

"Take any house you want. It's only for one night anyway."

"Thank you." I sent him a smile full of gratefulness and immediately headed to my old house.

I tried lying down on the bed, but the frame was broken and tattered. The mattress was still mostly intact, but that was it. This was all that remained of my old life... Broken mementos.

I pulled the mattress off the bed and put it on the floor. It was cold when I lay that close to the ground, but I didn't care. I just blankly stared ahead, at the wall. There weren't any thoughts going through my head.

At midnight, I faced the fact that I wouldn't likely fall asleep anytime soon and simply walked out of the house quietly. Everyone else had gone to sleep already, as I assumed. It was dark... But it was also clear, in a way. Even the air seemed fresher.

I looked up at the sky. If there were any stars out that night, they were covered by a thick layer of clouds.

The darkness was nearly complete.

I searched my Pip-Boy for a flashlight feature, and was surprised when I actually _did_ find one. The moment I turned it on, the screen lit up in a light green color, easily illuminating nearly three meters ahead.

"Can't sleep, kid?" The old lady's voice was so unexpected that I almost jumped up in surprise. I lowered my left arm so that the light wouldn't be shining directly at her. "Can't say that I blame you. I know what is troubling you."

"You do?" I asked sleepily. "That's fascinating."

"You're restless... I'm just a crazy old woman, but I can see things. I've been watching people for longer than you've been alive, and I can tell you that I know someone special when I see them. You're not an ordinary woman, Nora. And you will do great things... But it won't be easy." She stopped talking for a moment and I had to admit that this old lady really freaked me out. "I know why you can't calm down, kid. I know why you can't even fall asleep now. You're scared."

"I'm not afraid."

"You have every right to be... The road ahead may be scary," she said. "It _is_. But you have to remember - remember what you're fighting for. And hold on to that in moments of doubt."

 _What_ was I fighting for? For now, I didn't feel like I was fighting at all, much less for something.

"I need to go back to sleep," I said. I didn't want to engage in that conversation. It would only confuse me further.

"Have a good night." She nodded her head. "I really hope you find your kid."

When I woke up the next morning, that last sentence was all I could remember. Mama Murphy had gone somewhere, so I couldn't find her, but I said my last farewells to Preston Garvey and Sturges and set off in the direction of Concord.

Walking was boring, even if I had the radio playing in my ear. It took me an hour to get to Concord, and from there, the road was so decayed that it could very well be said that I was walking through a field.

I encountered two large mutated moles just outside the town. Fighting them was an issue because they actually buried themselves underground as soon as I approached. I assumed this was the end of it and continued on. That was a mistake - they both attacked me from behind when I didn't expect it. The first one actually died because I was so frightened that I repeatedly fired the gun in a random direction. Killing the second one required aiming, but at least I was aware that there was an enemy. It went down after five bullets from the pipe pistol.

I was running low on ammunition already, and I hadn't even been travelling for two full hours. I made a mental note to myself to remember that pipe weapons used up more ammo than the 10mm pistol. I had to somehow limit the amount I was spending if I wanted to survive out here.

I began messing with my Pip-Boy again. I did, among other things, something I had been meaning to do for a long time: changed the radio station. It hadn't taken me long to realize that Classical Radio wasn't a news station - it was just music 24/7 without any breaks. And with a whole of _one_ other radio station out here, it was safe to assume Diamond City Radio was more informative. Besides, Diamond City was where I was heading anyway. I changed the station.

 _"-that was, uh... That was the Ink Spots with 'It's All Over But The Crying.' That never stops, the... um... The crying. Mentioned in the song.'_ The DJ - if that _was_ the DJ - sounded unsure when saying that, as if he didn't know if he was doing the right thing. _"Coming to you from the jewel green... the green... the great green jewel of the Commonwealth. You're listening to, uh... Diamond City Radio!"_ He laughed nervously. I already sympathized with the kid. He wasn't radio material. Wasn't there anyone else who could maintain a radio station? The world had really fallen... To look on the bright side though, at least there was a radio station at all. _"And here's a note from our sponsor here in Diamond City..."_

I didn't listen to the advertisement, because at that moment, my Pip-Boy picked up another frequency and tagged it as 'Distress Signal'. I frowned at that. Was someone in trouble?

I immediately tapped into the frequency, expecting to hear an SOS message, maybe a recording, maybe a live broadcast... Nothing as such. The distress signal was just a regular beeping sound. I was confused. I took out my earbud and played it from the speakers, but nothing changed.

I took a step forward and the sound slightly increased in frequency. Oh. So that was how it worked. I kept on moving forward and the signal became gradually more of a constant sound than a beeping. If someone was in trouble, I had to help.

I kept on staring at the screen of my Pip-Boy as I walked, so I realized that I had walked into a more urban area too late - someone had already shot at me.

I yelped in surprise and quickly jumped back, already drawing the 10mm pistol and mentally scolding myself. Stupid! I could almost hear Sturges's voice in my head. _If you keep this radio as loud as it is, you'll inform every raider from here to Lexington of your location._ And what had I been doing just now? Listening to that distress signal on the speakers. It was like screaming 'I'm a target!'. I had just completely disregarded any advice I had received.

I quickly looked around in search of the enemies. Raiders, only two of them, maybe ten meters away from me. I dove into a narrow alley to my right, grateful for the city's landscape. _It's much more convenient for shootings than an open space_ , I thought. Then, I immediately got terrified at the simple fact that I was now thinking in such aspects. What the hell... I was a lawyer, not some kind of commando!... Still, I had to admit that I had been feeling more like a soldier than a civilian since the bombs had fallen.

I kind of wanted to peek out and shoot from behind a cover like real soldiers had used to, but I didn't need to, for the raiders came to me on their own. I didn't even question their stupidity anymore - as far as I was concerned, they had lost their humanity long ago. I didn't feel remorse after killing them, either. I was only sorry I had to waste another six bullets.

I quickly searched their bodies. I was getting better at this now - I knew how to find pockets quickly and efficiently. (I wasn't sure if this was a reason to be proud or afraid of myself.) I found, of useful things, three 10mm bullets, a decent-looking shoulder pad made from leather and a combat knife. I didn't have anywhere to keep a sharp item safely, so I left the knife be, but I took the shoulder pad and slid onto my arm. At least it was some protection.

I also re-connected the Pip-Boy to the earbud, having learned the lesson that playing sounds from the speakers wasn't safe. I looked around at the buildings and streets. I must have reached the suburbs of Boston while I had been busy with the distress signal... The signal, that's right! I was getting closer to its source.

I had to change direction several times, but the changes in the sound on the radio informed me of my getting astray and eventually I reached an old military training outpost. The signal was coming from there...?

I cautiously pushed the door open, keeping my pistol drawn. Nothing jumped on me when I entered the building, but I didn't relax. The air smelled like death and flesh - rotten and decaying. I looked around the hall and found myself gazing in awe. There were _guns_ in display cases by the wall!

I instantly walked to the one that held a hunting rifle inside and tried to open it. The glass case didn't even budge. I was about to give up when I remembered what Sturges had taught me about lockpicking. I pulled out the red screwdriver and one of the bobby pins I still used to pin up my hair.

It was an easy lock and not more than a minute later, I was holding my new hunting rifle in my hands and checking it for ammo. There were several bullets loaded inside. They were bigger than the 10mm ones I was used to seeing. I opened a cupboard underneath the case and found two boxes of ammo for the hunting rifle, as well as two grenades. I left the latter alone, slightly afraid of using something like that.

Then, I remembered why I had come here in the first place. I would check out the other guns later, if I had the chance. For now, I had to find the source of the signal.

I threw the hunting rifle over my shoulder and reloaded the 10mm pistol. I walked towards the door at the end of the hall, silently opened it...

And stood face-to-face with a zombie! The man had long since died, it was obvious. His body was rotten and battered, any hair long gone and skin ripped in several places. His - no, _its_ \- eyes were completely black and had a primal, wild look to them.

The feral ghoul lunged at me, intending to bite into my neck, and that was what woke me up from my initial shock at seeing it. I swung my pistol in front of me, not having enough time to aim or shoot. I just banged it on the head with the gun's handle as hard as I could. The ghoul fell to the floor and began getting up when I put a bullet in its back. That was enough to kill it - if it hadn't been dead already.

I walked into the next room. It was likely the main hall, with a receptionist's desk and everything. Two more feral ghouls stood in the middle of the room. When I walked in, they looked at me and remained in that position for a few seconds before launching themselves in my direction. I nervously fired the gun - twice to kill the first one, three times to get rid of the second.

The distress signal was now nearly one constant note. Whoever had set it, they had to be in this building. I looked around, but it seemed there weren't more ghouls around. I checked my Pip-Boy, nearly out of habit, to see how much ammo I had left. Considering I had a whole of three weapons and fitting ammunition, I was doing pretty well. The thing that I was beginning to miss, however, was food. I hadn't eaten anything since I'd left the Vault, and that was almost a day. I wasn't sure if I could trust anything that grew in the Wasteland - I still remembered what Preston Garvey had said, about how everything in the world had been affected by radiation. I wasn't starving just yet, but I had to admit that food was something I was beginning to miss.

I shook my head - that was not what I had to worry about right now.

I looked around the room. There was a staircase leading to the upper floor, but I was more interested in the open door in front of me. Every other room was closed, except for this one.

I walked inside. The distress signal increased pitch so much that I had to take out the earbud, for I could not stand hearing it. This was it. This was the place where this signal was coming from. But I couldn't see anyone...

Oh, God.

On the floor in the corner of the small room was laying a body of a young woman. She looked around my age and was dressed in an orange zip-up jumpsuit, quite similar to my blue Vault 111 suit. She was holding a small item in her hand - a holotape. Next to her body was a distress pulser, a red diode blinking on its surface. I flicked it off and the light disappeared. Simultaneously, my Pip-Boy informed me that the distress signal frequency had been lost.

I knelt down next to the body. The woman couldn't have been dead for more than a few months, for her body wasn't decaying yet. I didn't have to wonder what had happened to her: there were two dead ghouls in the room, both in close proximity to her body. My guess was she had been fighting until the very end...

I took the holotape from her cold hands and inserted into my Pip-Boy's tape player to analyze. It was an audio file. Not sure what to do with it, I reluctantly played the recording.

 _"Knight Tara_ _Astlin_ _. Brotherhood of Steel Recon Team 429-Alpha. Serial number AS-341K,_ " the young woman introduced herself. Her voice was on the edge of breaking, but I could also hear that she had cried before and didn't have the strength for something like that anymore. This was the voice of a person who's lost all hope. She wasn't hoping for a rescue, instead just going through the motions. The recording was her goodbye letter. _"It's been three hours since I set my distress pulser. There's been no word from the Paladin or Faris. Their objective was a satellite array on the coast, so they... They may be out of range."_ She coughed. _"My orders were to hold this position at all costs._

 _"The entire site has been overrun. The door won't last much longer."_ There was a pause. _"Paladin_ _Brandis_ _, sir... It's been an honor, sir._ "

That was the end of the recording.

I felt strangely numb. Had she been a soldier...? If yes, then did her comrades even know what happened to her? Maybe I should... Maybe I should inform them, if they were out there. It seemed wrong that this young woman's death should remain unknown of. She had mentioned some satellite array... I knew where that was.

Just as I was about to set the GPS on my Pip-Boy, my eyes caught the only other file I had downloaded onto the device. The holotape from Nate that Codsworth had given me.

I felt so sad and so lonely that I played it nearly without thinking.

" _Oops_ _, haha."_ Nate laughed at a baby's gurgling in the background. I felt a lump in my throat. Shaun. _"Keep those little fingers away... Ah, there we go. Just say it, right there, right there, go ahead."_ Shaun gave a giggle, then said something that sounded almost like 'mama'. I covered my mouth. His first word, and I hadn't even been there. _"Ah, yay! Hi honey, listen..."_ Nate's voice took on a more serious note.

 _"I don't think Shaun and I need to tell you how great of a mother you are."_ I smiled through the tears that were building in my eyes. _"But we're going to anyway. You are kind, and loving, and funny, that's right, and patient. So patient - patience of a saint, as your mother used to say."_ He sighed - I could imagine him shaking his head while smiling at that.

 _"Look, with Shaun and us all being home together it's been an amazing year - but even so, I know our best days are yet to come. There will be changes, sure, things we'll need to adjust to. I'll rejoin the civilian workforce, you'll shake the dust off your law degree..._

 _But everything we do, no matter how hard... We do it for our family._

 _Now say goodbye, Shaun. Bye bye, say bye bye."_ The baby giggled. _"Bye, honey! We love you!_ "

I broke down into crying.

 **Level up.**  
 **New perk: Gunslinger - you don't need any fancy rifles to defend yourself when your trusty revolver is more than enough! Non-automatic pistols now do +5% damage.**


	5. Fire Support

**Chapter Four  
** **Fire Support**

* * *

I looked up from my Pip-Boy at the large satellite dishes that dominated the landscape before me. There it was - Revere Satellite Array. The place where, according to the last words of a dead woman, her comrades had gone.

To be honest, I doubted they would still be there. How long had it been since that Knight Astlin had died? That was as much of a mystery to me as how long it had been since Shaun had been kidnapped. The difference was that I at least knew where to look for Knight Astlin's companions. Finding my son was, I reminded myself yet again, probably a lost cause. And that woman... She had been a soldier, I was sure of that. My husband had been in the army, too... It would be _wrong_ if I didn't honor the sacrifice of a fellow soldier properly.

I walked to the satellite array, feeling very small and insignificant in the shadow of the large construction. I looked up at the sky and frowned. It was almost noon, yet I still couldn't see the sun. The heavy clouds that covered the sky turned the already bleak Wasteland into a grey, depressing version of itself.

It was only my second day in this world, and already I was feeling its toll on me. I was hungry and tired, the landscape around me was making me want to curl up in a bed with the nightlight on, the air was still thick and unhealthy and I was feeling terribly, terribly _lonely_. More lonely than ever in my life.

Everyone I had known was dead. I had met some new people here, but now I was again alone. Even a _dog_ didn't want to stay with me. And now I was trying to find someone I knew nothing about solely to deliver them the dire news of the fate of their friend.

As far as I was concerned, I had every right to be pessimistic.

The Pip-Boy informed me that it had found a new distress signal frequency, so I turned on the radio and was met with the already familiar beeping. Here we go.

There was a mesh fence around the whole facility, but the state it was in after an atomic blast and two hundred years of no maintenance left so much to be desired that I could simply walk in through one of the larger holes.

The signal slightly increased in frequency. And almost simultaneously I heard shouting and gunshots. Raiders again? I found myself mentally cringing. This just couldn't be easy, could it?

I took out my trusty 10mm pistol and looked around to see who my opponents were... And I froze in shock, staring at the figures charging in my direction.

Those definitely weren't _people_...

The monsters were easily larger than a fully grown man, heavily muscled and, what worried me, heavily armored as well. Their skin was a sick green color and although they resembled humans, it was clear they were anything but. I remembered what Preston Garvey had said about mutation... But he hadn't mentioned anything like _this_!

I stopped staring as soon as they started shooting. There were at least fifteen of the monsters, and at least half of them were equipped with powerful assault rifles. And I was their only target.

"Human smash!" One of them screamed and charged at me with a baseball bat in one of its large hands.

I didn't think. I pulled the trigger - repeatedly and urgently. The mutant fell to the ground before its weapon managed to make contact with me, but I had emptied the entire magazine of my pistol.

The distress signal in my right ear increased in frequency when I began running along the fence. I couldn't stand in one place while reloading. I couldn't let myself remain in one place for more than a second - a shower of bullets followed my every step anyway. One was so close that I actually felt it rip through the thick material of my Vault suit on my thigh. It didn't do any damage to my body, but it did a good job of motivating me to move even faster.

I sprinted along the fence towards a small concrete building in the corner of the entire facility. The distress signal increased in pitch and frequency, so I was guessing that bunker was where it was coming from.

"Don't play games with me, human!"

I jumped up, startled, as one of those mutants ran in my direction - not from behind and shooting like the rest, but from in front of me and seemingly weaponless. The only thing he held in his hand was a small electronic device with a blinking light on it.

I was torn apart, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't continue ahead because that one would trample me underfoot, but I couldn't stop because the ones behind me would finally have a clear shot. I glared at that odd one out, trying to figure out what was going on and how to make my way around him.

He was getting closer and closer until, finally, something clicked in the back of my mind. An old memory, one of those terrorist attack trainings before the War. And suddenly the monster running at me with that device in his hand became the most immediate danger, because I realized what was going on.

This would explode.

The suicider was too close for me to try running away in any direction, so instead, I did the thing none of the mutants had expected - I charged at him and, using the power of momentum, delivered a two-footed kick to his chest. He staggered backwards and I was propelled in the opposite direction. I had enough time to cover my head with my arms before the nearly deafening sound of an explosion filled the air - just seconds before I hit the ground.

I quickly jumped up to my feet, trying to ignore the spinning of my head, and looked at what I had just caused. At least five mutants had died in the explosion, several others were sitting around, confused and trying to get their bearings.

I decided to make the most of this situation and ran for the bunker.

I pushed the metal door open and quickly took in the scene: a body of a middle-aged man in a dark grey uniform I couldn't recognize laying beside two dead mutants like the ones I had seen before. A holotape was laying beside the man's body.

Without wasting any time on thinking, I grabbed the holotape, somehow completely sure that this was one of Knight Astlin's companions, Scribe Faris or Paladin Brandis. I knelt down over the body and, with deep regret that there wasn't more I could do, closed his eyes while whispering the last respect to the soldier who had no doubt fought until the very end. After second thoughts, I grabbed the dogtags hung on his neck as well.

I quickly stood up and ran out of the room, mindful to keep my head low. And very wisely so - for in the place where it would have been was now a shower of bullets.

This battle wasn't over yet.

But it didn't involve me anymore.

Instead of charging towards the remaining mutants who continued to assault me with, as it seemed, all firepower they had, I sprinted towards the rusty metal fence. I was panting from both fatigue and the sheer intensity of it all, but I forced myself to continue on. Not doing so would result in death.

I jumped onto the fence, my legs finding support somewhere halfway to the top as I grabbed the upper edge with both of my hands. Then, I quickly propelled myself up and to the other side. I fell on the ground, hard - sitting would probably hurt for the next few days - but quickly forced myself to stand up and go on. My only hope was that the monsters would not chase me as I ran away.

Thankfully, they didn't. It seemed they were more of territorial creatures - as soon as I got far enough from the satellite array, they gave up on shooting at me. It was at that moment that I realized they hadn't even attempted pursuit. I was just target practice for them, not a victim.

Somehow, I found that thought comforting.

I slowed down to a trot, still not quite ready to stop. My blood was pumping in my ears and I didn't even want to know what my adrenaline level was at the moment.

I finally stopped next to a small group of dead trees. One of them wasn't more than a stump, and I sat down on it. I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand - I hadn't realized how much I had been sweating.

I slowly exhaled, just to get my heart to calm down. With the corner of my eye, I noticed a radroach creeping in my direction. I took out my hunting rifle and, closing one eye for better accuracy, aimed at its body. One bullet was enough to kill, and I was rather proud of myself for having mastered this weapon so quickly.

I put it aside, leaning it against a tree, and focused on the new holotape. I inserted it into the Pip-Boy and pressed play.

 _"It's been... two hours since the Paladin left."_ The man grunted, obviously in pain. _"My leg... I can't stanch the bleeding. Bullet must've hit an artery. Brandis... if you get this... I hope you make it back to_ _Astlin_ _in time - there was nothing you could do for me. Get to the bunker up north. You'll survive. That's all that... all that matters."_

Paladin Brandis... He hadn't made it to Astlin in time. He hadn't even heard this message. I realized that chronologically, this one had been recorded earlier than Astlin's. I was going backwards in time. If I were to find out what happened to all the soldiers, I had to find all of their bodies. The bunker up north... Then that would be my next destination.

I didn't even mark anything on my Pip-Boy's map, just displayed the compass. North.

With some surprise, I realized that I had already accepted that these people were all dead - and yet, I continued my investigation. Somehow, it was my way of paying respect to them. I couldn't even bury them properly... This was a cruel world. The least I could do was learn what happened to them. So that there was someone who carried on the memory.

I glanced at my left forearm when the Pip-Boy informed me that it had just picked up a new radio frequency. I displayed the radio and found myself surprised - it was yet another distress signal. But this soon? I had barely left the satellite array.

I realized that Paladin Brandis hadn't made it far. Somehow, that thought was massively depressing.

The signal was very weak, much weaker than the previous two. I had no idea which direction to go - there weren't any buildings around.

My Pip-Boy began emitting a new sound - a rapid clicking. I looked at the device's screen, confused as to what it may be. Apparently, it was the Geiger counter - there was a strong source of radiation nearby. The amount I was receiving at the moment was not harmful to my health yet, but it was enough to activate the function.

I began walking forward while keeping an eye on the Geiger counter - I wasn't surprised when I noticed that the radiation got stronger along with the distress signal. Whatever had happened to Paladin Brandis must have been rather destructive.

I found the source of both the signal and the radiation in a ruin of a detached house. The building was nearly completely destroyed, but I could tell it had been that way for at least a century, so it was not recent. There was only one wall standing anyway, so I could get inside without even feeling I was inside.

The floor was... That was what worried me most. The floor was most certainly the source of the radiation - there were two completely melted suits of power armor fused to the ground. I stared at that in awe, wondering what could have created enough energy to destroy those. From my experience, a suit of power armor was nearly equal to a one-man tank. They were incredibly powerful and equally indestructible.

"What happened here?" I whispered. I hung my head when there was no response - loneliness was really getting to me. I had to get a grip on myself. Find out what happened to these people, if there was a way I could help in any way and get back to the search for Shaun... Which seemed more hopeless the longer I contemplated it. No, I had to keep it together. I wouldn't get anything done if I kept on moping.

I walked to the far corner of the house, carefully avoiding the radioactive center. There was no body to find this time - just several items thrown away in a random fashion. Must have been from the blast, I guessed - it was clear there had been an explosion here.

I finally found the distress pulser - it was buried underneath a small pile of rubble. I moved it aside and revealed yet another holotape.

This one was different from the first two I had found. I realized it even before playing it because my Pip-Boy tagged it as 'Battlefield Holotape'.

I played the recording.

Sounds of shooting and distant explosions filled my ear. It seemed this recording hadn't been created on purpose and that the people on it weren't even aware that it was being created.

 _"...ambushed on the road,"_ an older male voice called out. _"We're outnumbered five to one! Varham, report!"_

 _"Core's down to five percent!"_ Replied who I figured had to be that Varham.

 _"We'll have to scuttle the armor,"_ the older soldier decided. _"We can't let them have it-"_

 _"Varham!"_ Knight Astlin exclaimed. I felt a lump in my throat. So this holotape indeed had been recorded before the ones I had found earlier. Back when all four soldiers were still alive.

There was more shooting.

 _"Dammit!_ _Astlin_ _, set the self-destructs!"_ The first voice - Paladin Brandis? - ordered. _"Faris, fall back! We'll head for the old military base, then try to make it to our holdout. The code will be our_ _callsign_ _. All right, move! Move! Move!"_

The recording cut off to the sound of an explosion.

I looked at the remains of who I figured had to be Knight Varham. So much radiation... What _had_ happened here in the end? Had he sacrificed his life for his comrades so that they could run away and face a terrible death, each one of them all alone?

It was so quiet here... The only calm of all three battlefields. And the only one with such a vivid holotape. And here I was, at the end. I supposed I would never find out the whole story - this was where the lead ended.

I brought up the map of my Pip-Boy and furrowed my brows, frustrated at how empty it was. I had already figured that this was the map of only a part of Massachusets... Or the Commonwealth, whatever. What angered me so much was that it had nearly no locations marked on it. I could recognize some major pre-War sites, like Harvard, the M.I.T. or Fenway Park, but I had no idea where to find a place called Diamond City.

As much as I hated to admit it, I had to face the fact that I was lost.

If I were a major settlement in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, where would I be? Probably somewhere within Boston... I took one more look at the map. Although I had briefly entered the suburbs on my way here, I had somehow managed to avoid the city so far. If I were to start looking, I might as well do it there.

With that decided, I picked up my hunting rifle and set off in the direction of the city.

oooOOO***OOOooo

I hadn't realized just how much this world had affected me until the moment I met another human being and my first reaction was flicking off the safety of my gun.

Of course, as soon as I realized the woman wasn't a raider, I quickly hid the pistol in its holster, but the feeling that I had changed remained. Was the world really so dangerous now that I had to greet everyone by sticking a gun in their face? I doubted that. There was caution and then there was paranoia. I had to draw a firm line between the two, or else I would go completely insane.

"Good day, huh?" I gave the woman an unconvincing grin. It was cold, windy and there wasn't a single spot of blue on the sky.

She looked at my outfit and sighed.

"Not another of those clueless Vault dwellers..." She muttered, then forced a smile onto her lips. "Hi there."

"If you don't mind me asking..." I scratched the back of my head. "What are you doing out here all alone?"

"I'm doing _business_ , if you really have to know." She whistled - most likely to call an animal to her. I briefly thought about Dogmeat - _wonder what happened to him_. "So, you wanna trade?"

"Trade?" I repeated. "Oh... You're a travelling merchant, of course." I was kind of stupid for not having thought of that earlier. "Yes, I'm up for some trading. What have you got in stock?"

"Hold on a bit." The woman whistled again and a large furless animal, several sacks and pouches tied onto its back, trotted up to us. I stared at it with wide eyes.

"Your cow has two heads..." I noticed weakly.

"Never seen a brahmin before, have you?" She shook her head. "Vault dwellers."

I tried not to get offended, even though it was clear she was judging me based on my _clothes_ alone. I was pretty sure Vault 111 wasn't like other Vaults - and thus I wasn't like other Vault dwellers.

"Anyway..." I tried not to look at the mutated cow, instead focusing at the sacks on its back. "What do you have for sale?"

The trader shrugged.

"Whatever you need." She pulled several things out of the cow's saddlebags and presented them to me. I recognized a small-caliber revolver, canned pork'n'beans, straps of leather, a Stimpak... "Food, weapons, medications. You name it."

I kept on intently staring at the can of food. It was a miracle that this was still in good state. I took it in my hands, looked at the list of ingredients and winced. Filled with enough preservatives to keep it fine for another two hundred years - I wasn't sure if it was healthy. Still, it was either that or the plants that grew in the Wasteland... I was starving! I hadn't realized that before because I had been occupied with other matters, but now my stomach aggressively demanded _food_. Only one thing was a problem.

"I don't have any money," I admitted. Sure, I had almost six hundred dollars on me (I had been gathering all the money I could find until the moment I found out that _bottlecaps_ were the currency now) but I was pretty sure she wouldn't accept them as payment.

"Well, you ought to have something on you." She looked as though she had to explain the most basic things to me. I didn't understand what she was talking about. "Ever heard of bartering?"

"Oh." I laughed. "Of course. I have... Well..." I looked at my humble arsenal of 10mm pistol, pipe pistol, and hunting rifle. "I suppose I could part with this," I decided, handing her the pipe pistol. Then, I remembered about the ammo and pulled it out of my jumpsuit's pocket. "And fifteen bullets for this."

She gave me a tired look.

"How much is this worth?" I asked. I realized I had no idea how much value one bottlecap had in comparison to one dollar.

"Sixty caps, at the utmost." She looked at me. "What did you say you wanted in return?"

"Some food," I counted on my fingers. "10mm rounds, if you have any to spare. And maybe..." I took a look at the things she had taken out and noticed several books and magazines in the pile. One in particular caught my attention. The book was in a hard cover - I realized I hadn't seen a single paperback since I left the Vault - and had a human skull on the cover, beneath the title: _The Wasteland Survival Guide. By Moira Brown and Samuel Hambly._

I needed that book.

Badly.

"How much does this cost?" I asked, holding it up. The trader looked at me skeptically - it was impossible not to notice I was completely hopeless in this world.

"For you, I'd say it's priceless." She sighed. "Look, I really don't want another Vault Dweller on my conscience, so let's play it like this: I'll give you this book for free and in turn, you'll finally leave me alone."

I stared at her in shock as she pushed the tome into my hands and walked away without another word. I was completely dumbstruck by this act of kindness - or mercy, depending on how you looked at it - for it was the first nice thing I had experienced from a stranger in the Commonwealth.

I took a look at my all possessions. It was beginning to get hard to carry them all. The book or a can of food certainly wouldn't fit in any of my pockets, for one.

"Hey!" I called out after the trader, trying to keep up with her while keeping all the items I was holding from spilling. "Wait up!"

"Oh god." She put a hand to her face. "Why can't you just leave me alone? I gave you a free book and a huge discount, what else do you need?!"

I wasn't particularly concerned by her tone - I was used to people talking to me in this way even before the War.

"I don't suppose you have some kind of container... More like a bag or a sack or something...?" I gave her a charming smile.

"Just... take this and go away." She said with a shake of her head as she gave me a simple linen sack.

"Thanks!" I called out, even though she had obviously decided to ignore me from then on.

I looked at the sack with a critical eye. It was clear it wasn't meant for travelling. It certainly wasn't handy, but at least it was something. I packed the book, along with ammunition for the hunting rifle inside and threw it over my shoulder. I supposed I had to look stupid like that, but there really wasn't much I could do.

I counted up the deal I had just made - I had acquired three cans of pre-War food, five new 10mm rounds and a copy of _The Wasteland Survival Guide_ \- a book that, if I were to trust the title, would prove more than useful to me. I had given up the pipe pistol, sure, but I hadn't been making much use of it anyway. All in all, I decided that I was doing fine.

"Should have asked her for directions to Diamond City, though," I muttered to myself. I still didn't know where I was supposed to go. In that case, I was guessing I should stick to my previous plan of heading towards Boston.

I took my sack, reloaded my weapon (I noticed this was becoming an unhealthy habit of mine) and set off in the direction of the city. I glanced at the map of my Pip-Boy to confirm that I was going in the right way. Taking that I was in Medford, I would have to go through Cambridge, right? I was just hoping I would be able to cross the Charles safely. I wasn't entirely sure the water was as harmless as it had been before the War.

Out of boredom, I played the radio - Diamond City Radio, not that there was much choice. After two songs that had been very old even back in my time, the DJ finally came on. I tried to listen carefully to what he would say, hoping that maybe it would help me get a grip on what was going on in the world.

 _"Okay, uh... I know this radio station isn't, um... It's the only radio station around."_ He laughed nervously, further ensuring me in my belief that he wasn't made to be a DJ. It was clear he had no self-confidence. _"And sometimes... Well, sometimes news doesn't get here as soon as it should. But hey, it's... It's fine! Anyway, here's the news for today... Uh... Oh yes. There's a new settlement up northeast, Sanctuary."_ For a moment, I was surprised at how quickly news about that got to Diamond City. Then, my superior feeling became the shock at the fact that, in a way, I was on the radio. Of course, he wasn't talking about me personally, but something I had been involved in. Still, it was a strange feeling. I wondered how many people were listening to this at the moment. _"And there's even more to that. It looks like the... Uh... The Minutemen were involved in this! I thought... Well, I thought they were kinda done for."_ He gave a nervous laugh. _"But it seems they're not gone. Not yet, anyway... Yeah..."_ There was a moment of silence. _"So... I guess some music now..."_

I looked up at the road ahead. The occasional chimneys on the horizon told me that I was entering a more industrialized area. Hopefully, this wouldn't mean more trouble.

As I got closer, I noticed that there were only two buildings that had actually survived the apocalypse: a large factory and a water turbine building. I had to walk past them anyway, so I figured some exploration wouldn't do me any harm. I was rather curious as to what I might find inside.

The bunker, if I were to describe the second building properly, was small and nearly completely empty. I walked inside with my hunting rifle drawn, but I wasn't entirely sure what I was expecting to find.

The small room contained only a desk with a still-functional terminal (which seemed like a miracle in itself), a few metal shelves and a Nuka-Cola vending machine in the corner. There were also three radroaches on the floor, but it seemed they hadn't noticed me yet. I put my gun closer to my face and held my breath to make my aim steadier. I killed the nearest bug with the first shot and immediately aimed at the second one. One bullet and he was gone. The last remaining of the radroaches jumped at me, but I just hit him with the handle of the rifle. I didn't even get tired.

"Pest control," I muttered to myself with a smirk. "Might consider a new career."

I walked up to the desk and pressed enter on the keyboard. The screen of the terminal lit up in a green color that matched my Pip-Boy. No doubt it had been released by the came company. Then again, it wasn't surprising: RobCo had practically monopolized the technology market after the war broke out. Their products were advanced and reliable - and they had the money to develop them. Or at least, they had had.

I looked back at the terminal.

 _Poseidon Energy Turbine #18-F  
_ _utility terminal_

 _Password required._

I typed 'password' and pressed enter.

 _Access denied.  
_ _Please try again later._

"It was worth a shot." I shrugged.

My eyes then caught sight of the vending machine in the corner of the room - more particularly, the weak blue glow that came from inside of it. I was more than intrigued. I knelt down in front of it to see what was the source and was surprised when I realized it was a bottle of soda. The drink inside was blue too, and it seemed the glow was coming from it. I looked at the label: Nuka-Cola Quantum. I had never drunk that one... Suddenly, I remembered why: the drink had been supposed to be the new, best soda on market and had been advertised for months prior to its release. The release had been on the day the bombs fell. I doubted many people had had the luxury of tasting it.

I broke the glass panel with the handle of my hunting rifle and took out the bottle. If the world had ended, what difference would it make anyway?

I uncapped it and hid the bottlecap on the bottom of my sack, even though it was still weird to think of it as money.

The Geiger counter of my Pip-Boy began clicking at an alarming rate when I put the bottle to my lips. Surprised, I put it away.

What the hell... This drink was _radioactive_? Was that on purpose or due to the nuclear explosion nearby? I knew by the time that lingering radiation was something to be reckoned with, but inside a drink inside a sealed bottle inside a sealed vending machine?

I tried reading the ingredients, but without my glasses it was a futile effort. The small letters were just blurred dots. I knew that my eyes had already begun to adjust to not seeing properly, but I also knew that the problem wouldn't just solve itself. I needed glasses or proper contact lens if I wanted to exist properly.

I took the bottle and held close to the Pip-Boy for it to analyze it. The level of radiation inside wasn't a lethal one - it wasn't even very dangerous. And if the drink was supposed to be so good, I didn't want to waste the opportunity just because I was afraid of taking a few rads. Honestly, the world had ended already. Radiation was everywhere.

I threw the hunting rifle across my shoulder like a bag (I was extremely grateful for the strap that allowed me to conveniently transport it), took the bottle and walked out into the open.

I glanced at my watch - my Pip-Boy - to learn that it was 2:26 PM and took a swig of the cola. My eyes widened as I wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my jumpsuit. This stuff was _amazing_. No wonder they had been making such a fuss about it back in the day. This easily beat Sunset Sarsaparilla!

I continued walking while listening to the radio. There was a more upbeat song on now, and I was actually feeling quite content for once. Sure, the world may be a radioactive wasteland, but I had soda and music, so it wasn't nearly as bad as I had first thought it would be.

When I finished the bottle, I just threw it aside. Another perk of the end of the world: everywhere was a trash can!

"What am I doing?" I asked myself, putting a hand to my forehead. I was acting crazy.

I quickly picked up the bottle I had dropped - mostly because the grass (though calling _that_ grass was rather generous) around wasn't as littered as in Concord or in Medford and I was feeling as though throwing junk out here was _wrong,_ in a way. I only got rid of it when I finally passed a proper garbage can. Now I was feeling like a guardian of the poor, dying flora of the Wasteland. Let the irradiated plants grow! They deserve a chance too!

I shook my head. Was there alcohol inside Nuka-Cola Quantum? I felt drunk. Certainly not entirely sober, at least. Maybe it was the accumulation of everything that had happened during the last two days, maybe it was the fact that only now I finally had the chance to calm down for a longer moment. At any rate, I had been shot at, demanded help from or running away from danger nearly constantly lately. This uneventful journey was my first moment of relative peace since I set foot in the Wasteland.

Either way, I was feeling lightheaded and wouldn't mind drinking another bottle of cola. The only problem was that I most certainly didn't have one. What I _did_ have, however, was a growing feeling of hunger. I had been trying to ignore it, but now that I had actual food inside my sack, it was getting gradually harder to force myself to go on without a break.

I checked the time on my Pip-Boy. Three PM, a perfect time for dinner. I looked around to see if I would find any kind of shelter. There was something that looked like a small house maybe a hundred meters away from me, so I headed in that direction. Maybe it wasn't inhabited and I could use it as a safe place to eat dinner.

When I reached the shack, I found out that the door was closed and locked with a padlock. I tried knocking, but no one answered. I waited for a minute or so, but eventually got bored and just took out my screwdriver and a bobby pin to open it. Lockpicking just came easy to me, apparently. I was finished with this lock after little more than ten seconds.

The whole shack was smaller than my old living room, but that wasn't a problem. I had no idea if this had been built before or after the apocalypse, but it looked rather sturdy. I also found remains of a campfire at the very center of the building. At first, it struck me as odd that someone would risk lighting an unprotected fire inside a wooden house, but the feeling disappeared soon. After all, who I was to judge how people lived nowadays?

The campfire was like a blessing - even more so when I found a relatively clean cooking pot inside a drawer. I spilled the contents of one of my cans of food inside and let it warm up above the small fire I had lit. It was getting cozy in this little house.

I didn't know how long it would take for the food to prepare, so I took out the book I had bought - The Wasteland Survival Guide. I was aware that reading it was going to be a problem, but I also knew that if I were to survive in this world, I had to know how it worked. This was a guidebook.

I opened it and was met with a pleasant surprise: the font used to print it was quite large. Even absurdly so, but I didn't complain. I was far-sighted, so this would help me a lot. I looked over the table of contents. A whole chapter on landmines and how to avoid them, another three on different kinds of radiation poisoning... This looked promising. And a whole section on mutated animals! Bingo. Buying this had been the right choice.

Without waiting much longer, I opened the book on 'medicine and chems', sat closer to the warmness of the fire, and began reading.

oooOOO***OOOooo

By the time I left the shack, the day had managed to turn into an evening, but I didn't regret the time I had spent studying the Wasteland Survival Guide. The book had a chapter on sewing and handcrafting, and I managed to - crudely, but still - redesign my sack into something that resembled a backpack. I had to cut off a large amount of material to craft the straps and it was now significantly less capacious, but the comfort in carrying it would be more than just worth the trouble. (And I would look less like a Vault-Tec version of a female Santa Claus.)

Things were really looking up for me. I had eaten some food, rested and now I had more knowledge of what I was likely to encounter on my travels through the Wasteland. This definitely wasn't the world I wanted - but it was the one that existed. And I sure as hell wasn't going to let it bring me down.

Definitely not without a fight.

I changed the radio station in my Pip-Boy to Diamond City Radio again. The same cheerful song from three hours earlier was playing again. I wondered if it was because it was popular or because there wasn't much music to choose from.

I could see the Charles River on the horizon, too - and the tall buildings of a big city on the opposite bank. Cambridge or Boston? I wasn't entirely sure. Before the War, I wouldn't have any trouble recognizing this place, but everything looked different now.

What I couldn't see was a bridge, and that worried me. I was fairly certain that the water was irradiated - and with how my Pip-Boy had reacted to the Nuka-Cola, I was afraid it would be bad.

I eventually reached the river and wasn't surprised when the Geiger counter began clicking rapidly. I sighed in defeat and looked around for any passage across. There was a collapsed overpass maybe a kilometer away to my right. I couldn't see well from that distance, but it looked as though maybe if I climbed onto the road where it had collapsed, I would be able to safely get to the other side of the river.

I noticed with the corner of my eye that my Pip-Boy displayed some kind of information. Curious, I brought it up to see what that was. Apparently, it had managed to use my location to determine where I was, and now was notifying me that I had 'discovered' the Mystic River. I displayed the map, only to notice that it had done the same for many places I had come across after leaving the Vault.

I looked up at the opposite bank of the river, this time with a new perspective. I had terribly miscalculated by position - if this wasn't the Charles, then I couldn't possibly be seeing Boston from here. The city had to be Arlington or Cambridge, and I had to be terrible at topography.

"Not that there's much difference," I said to myself. "For all I know, Diamond City might as well be in Cambridge." It kind of made sense. Diamonds were associated with wealth, Cambridge had been the science center of the world, and knowledge was wealth. Boston, on the other hand, had been the largest city around here, and the most innovated one, so it made sense too.

I rubbed my forehead. Overthinking this wasn't going to do me much good - in this situation, actions spoke louder than words. I had to simply find that city, or find someone who would point me in the right direction.

I sized up the rubble ahead of me. The overpass must have collapsed when the bombs fell, and now there was a way up via the steep part of the road, which looked more like a driveway than a proper part of the viaduct now. I adjusted the straps of my sackpack and my hunting rifle and began the climb.

Thankfully, it wasn't as steep as it looked from the ground and, supporting myself by the guardrail, I managed to reach the overpass fairly soon. I looked around, hoping to spot something new now that I had a bird's view at the world, but it didn't seem there was much to the landscape of the town ahead - now I was sure that it was Arlington - that could grab my attention.

Instead, I began walking ahead. There were many cars here, much more than down on the ground. The state they were in was like a grim reminder of the fact that the happy days were gone now. Rust everywhere.

Rust - and raiders. Of course.

I knelt down and pressed myself against a car, hoping that the two men hadn't spotted me. I closed my eyes and drew the 10mm pistol as quietly as I could. I was hoping they would walk away before they noticed me. I really didn't want to get into a fight right now. Or at all, as I supposed.

I couldn't hear them. That was bad. I opened my eyes warily, still aware of the loudness of my breath. To put it plainly, hide and seek had never been my favorite game. I preferred to see my enemies clearly than sneak around.

I peeked out from my cover behind the car, and immediately retreated when several shots from an assault rifle hit the metal surface. Yes, they'd noticed me!

I waited until the bullets stopped flying, as I assumed that was when the raider stopped to reload his weapon, and stood up. A quick look around assured me that there were only the two - one of them was indeed reloading an assault rifle, standing maybe fifteen meters away from me. The other was hiding behind a downed trailer, but I could still see him from where I was standing. There was no time to waste. I aimed my pistol at the one with the assault rifle and fired three times. Two of my bullets missed, but one hit him in the shoulder, knocking the weapon out of his hands.

He cursed and ran for cover behind the nearest car. I noticed that the second raider had taken out a pipe rifle and decided that it was the time for me to run too. I followed the first one - his injury slowed him down enough to make it an easy task - and once I caught up with him, I hit him with the handle of the pistol. He fell to the ground. I assumed he was dead, but he pulled out a small pipe pistol and shot at me. I yelped in both pain and surprise as a bullet sank in my left thigh. I pulled the trigger of my 10mm pistol, as if that would help ease the pain. All it did was kill the bastard.

I sat down on the road, back firmly pressed against the car. There was a constant sound of metal hitting metal as the second raider continued to shoot at me. I was breathing through my teeth, trying not to look at the wound in my leg. It was a lost cause, and I found my eyes trailing down my body to where I had been shot. It wasn't bad. It wasn't as bad as I had feared, at least - there was a lot of blood, but it wasn't an open wound. I realized that the Vault suit must have absorbed some damage in itself. It was proving more and more useful.

I searched the dead raider's body, trying to ignore the pain. The most valuable prize was probably the assault rifle and, dear me, five clips of twelve bullets that fit the gun, but I focused more on the two Stimpaks he had on him. I quickly took one and injected into my leg nearly mindlessly. It was a primal instinct - I had to get my wounds treated. This was the fastest and most efficient way I had at my disposal at the moment.

I waited a moment for the wound to heal and when only a funny feeling of tingling remained, I dared to face the second raider.

His expression was rather interesting when he noticed the hull of the assault rifle pointed straight at his head.

A minute later, I was ready to hit the road again. I had three new Stimpaks and even more ammo for the assault rifle, as well as a leather bracer which I had put on my left leg. I wasn't sure how much protection this would actually give me, but the raiders had worn it, so it couldn't be entirely useless.

I had to admit that I was feeling much more confident now than I had back when I first left the Vault with only a 10mm gun on me. Maybe that was a good thing. Being confident had been, after all, what had led me through my entire career back in the day.

I had long since crossed the river, but the viaduct refused to end as quickly. I looked down on the streets below. It was a high drop. I didn't like the idea of falling down there - it would be safer to just get down on the nearest turning.

When I _did_ reach it, which was after another thirty minutes or so, I was pretty sure I had crossed the entity of Arlington by just walking _above_ the town. Then again, maybe that was safer. At any rate, I had only had to fight two raiders - who knew how many were there on the streets. Not to mention other monstrosities the Wasteland had to offer. I had read about enough mutated creatures that day to know that there certainly wasn't a shortage of those nowadays. From radroaches through radscorpions, to deadly Deathclaws... Deathclaws, which were not only genetically engineered but also mutated. I shuddered at the mere thought. The Wasteland Survival Guide had described them as the most dangerous creatures in the Wasteland, and I wasn't eager on putting that statement to the test. _Genetically engineered killing machines,_ _yet_ _another testament to the wonder_ _of_ _science,_ I thought sarcastically, feeling bitter. _Humans shouldn't_ _be_ _allowed to tamper with nature._

I jumped down onto the ground - the lowest part of the overpass was collapsed - and looked around. For a moment, I wasn't sure where I was, but my ever-helpful Pip-Boy informed me that I was now in Lexington.

Well, that was a bit farther to the west than I had intended to go.

I turned around for a moment, trying to get the Pip-Boy's built-in compass to work properly. I had to head south. Then, I would get to Cambridge and then, across the Charles to Boston.

Good. I had a plan. I determined where south was and set off in that direction.

It was unnaturally quiet. I knew that the world after a nuclear war was _supposed_ to be dead and empty, but this was becoming unnerving. No raiders or lonely travelling merchants? Was there something wrong with this area? I glanced at the Geiger counter, but it was normal - at least, as normal as it got in the Commonwealth.

I tensed when I heard footsteps and drew the hunting rifle nervously. It sounded like just one person, so it shouldn't be too much danger, but still...

I let out a breath when a feral ghoul rounded the corner of the street. I was relieved - those things were more stupid than actual living people, and thus easier to fight. I observed its movements carefully, waiting for it to do something. It was walking slowly, as if injured. Then, it noticed me watching it.

And broke into a sprint!

I panicked - and packed three bullets into its body. It fell down, dead, at my feet. My heart was racing. I hadn't expected those things to be so _fast!_

I only realized my mistake when another ghoul rounded the corner. I had just fired a gun. The sound was sure to draw anyone and anything nearby, and the zombie - it was hard _not_ to think of them as zombies - obviously hadn't been the only one around.

I took aim and picked it down before it managed to get as close to me as the previous one. But the situation was getting worse - three more ran out of a house and immediately headed in my direction. I was about to begin shooting at them, but then I noticed another five running at me from the opposite side of the street. I was beginning to get seriously scared by this.

Suddenly, I remembered something Preston Garvey had said. _"First the ghouls in Lexington, and_ _now_ _this mess."_ I was in Lexington. The reason it was so empty and quiet here was because this was feral ghoul territory.

And I had just stupidly walked into it.

I decided this was no time for heroics - I simply grabbed my rifle and _ran_.

I sprinted across the street to the side where fewer ghouls were. I managed to avoid most of them, but a few were still ahead of me, exactly on my way. I didn't stop in my run, instead drawing the 10mm pistol with my free hand and firing several times. My accuracy was even worse when I was running, so none of the monsters were killed in the progress, but I had managed to injure two. One of them fell to the ground and I somehow gathered the strength (both physical and mental) to jump above its head. Now all of them were behind me. Still, that didn't make me feel safe in any way. They were chasing me!

I sped up, forcing my tired legs to move even faster than they already were. This was a crazy race, and the prize was getting away with my life.

I didn't count the minutes - all I knew was that I had to keep running if I wanted to stay alive - so I didn't know how much time had passed, but I was guessing it was longer than I felt.

Were they giving up? I risked a glance over my shoulder. Yes, there were definitely fewer running after me now than there had been before. That thought filled me with new hope - and strength to move even faster than before.

I didn't know at which point the last of the zombies had given up, but I only slowed down when I reached an empty square. There were a few benches standing around, and I tiredly slumped down onto one of them.

I stared ahead, overtaken by fatigue.

"I made it," I noticed aloud. I laughed quietly. This was so impossible, and so absurd.

If someone had told me three days earlier that I would be running away from a herd of wild zomb- _irradiated_ _people_ , whatever - I would have passed them as crazy. And yet here I was. Maybe living in this new version of the world was dangerous, but it certainly wasn't _boring_.

I waited until my heartbeat became steadier and my breath stopped coming out as panting. I had to focus on the more important matters, like the fact that I didn't know where I was - again.

A look at the map of my Pip-Boy informed me that I was now at the College Square, in Cambridge. That wild chase had really sped up my pace - I hadn't been expecting to reach this city in at least an hour. _Maybe I should_ _run_ _more_ _often._

I stood up and looked around. The city was exactly in the state I should expect of the Wasteland: grey, destroyed and empty. There were some bottlecaps laying on the ground. I crouched and picked one up. It was covered in dirt and bent, but I could still recognize the brand - Nuka-Cola.

I dropped the bottlecap when I suddenly heard gunshots. I stood up in a second. Could it be raiders...? No, that was impossible. There was no one nearby.

Then, I remembered what I had just survived. And if there were other people anywhere near Lexington...

I grabbed my rifle and ran in the direction the sounds were coming from. I noticed a feral ghoul run into a small alley and decided to follow it, leading me to a small square in front of an old police station.

I didn't have much time to assess the situation, taking how fast it was happening, but it was clear that there was a massive horde of feral ghouls attacking some people.

People! Actual, living people who weren't bloodthirsty maniacs!

There were three of them: one man, one woman and someone in a (surprisingly well-kept) suit of power armor - I couldn't tell anything about them because they had the helmet on.

The person in power armor looked straight at me for a fraction of a second before turning towards his comrades.

"Civilian in the perimeter! Check your fire!" He ordered - I had no doubt recognizing it was a man now that he'd spoken. One of the ghouls jumped onto him, and the man bashed it with his weapon.

They definitely needed help.

I ran towards them, already reloading my hunting rifle. As soon as I had five bullets packed inside, I took aim and shot at the nearest of the zombies. It staggered backwards, so I delivered a kick to its stomach. A look at the three people told me that the woman was in the most desperate need of help, for she was being attacked by three ferals and only had a pistol to defend herself. I ran to her and took out one of the monsters by a hit to the back of its head. She glanced at me, but there was no time to talk. We fired our weapons simultaneously and two feral ghouls fell dead.

I jumped back when a ghoul lunged at me. I managed to hit it with my hunting rifle and then shoot it dead when it fell to the ground. The soldier in power armor, who had been directly engaged in combat down on the street, began retreating towards the building, where the rest of us were fighting.

"Hold your ground!" He shouted, even though he was obviously having trouble following that order himself.

I shot a ghoul that was getting dangerously close to him. The man was standing right in the middle of the swarm and most of the ghouls attacked him. At first, I passed him off as reckless, but after a few moments I realized how tactically intelligent that was - it wasn't to be discussed that a suit of power armor was able to take much more damage than someone who wasn't wearing one. Sure, he was taking the most damage, but he would also be able to survive more. By taking most of the attack on himself, he was buying the rest some time.

I made it my job to make sure this sacrifice wouldn't go in vain. I shot every single ghoul that made it past him.

I eventually ran out of bullets and had to swap the hunting rifle for the assault rifle. The machinegun killed the monsters one after another much more quickly than my previous weapon, but it also used up more ammo. I was just beginning to get worried that I might run out of bullets when I finally noticed that the ground was full of feral ghoul corpses - but there weren't any left alive anymore.

"Cease fire!" The man in power armor shouted. "Cease fire!" It took me a moment to realize that that included me too. I quickly flicked on the safety of my gun, and lowered it for good measures.

I looked over the three soldiers - because I had no doubt that's what they were, soldiers - and with some surprise realized that they paid me close to no attention. The man in the power armor was helping the other one, dressed in an orange zip-up jumpsuit, sit down on the ground. It looked like he was injured in some way - his leg was bent in an unnatural way. The woman seemed concerned, but for the record, _she_ at least didn't ignore my existence.

Once she got certain that nobody was dying, she turned in my direction with an apologetic smile.

"We would be in pretty deep shit right now if you hadn't shown up." She laughed nervously. "So I guess some thanks is in order. You pretty much saved our lives back there."

I returned the smile. She seemed friendly.

"Glad to have helped."

She glanced at her companions, but both men glared at me as though they didn't want me there.

"Don't mind the boys," the woman laughed. "They don't give trust easily, you have to forgive them."

"Who are you people, exactly?" I asked. Military, that much was obvious.

"We're soldiers from the Brotherhood of Steel. I'm Scribe Haylen," she took off her gauntlet and offered a handshake, which I eagerly accepted, "and over there are Knight Rhys and Paladin Danse."

"I'm Nora Smith, no medieval-sounding title." I introduced myself sarcastically. _Wizards, scribes, paladins, mages and knights,_ I thought. A paladin in a power armor - this combination of fantasy and technology struck me as absurd.

I looked at the two men carefully. At that moment, only one thing was going through my head: were they the rest of that squad I had been tracking down? Paladin Brandis? No, this one's name was different... Maybe there was no connection, but it seemed unlikely.

"I know I'm asking a lot," Scribe Haylen continued, "but you look like a good person..."

"What is it that you need?" I asked. These people were obviously in a bad situation. If there was a way I could help them out, I would do it.

"We've just lost one of our own, and we don't have-"

"Haylen. It's not a wise idea to-" The soldier in power armor - Paladin Danse - began, but she gave him an angry glare.

"No. For the love of god, lay off just once. She wants to help - and we need help - so _you_ are going to be _nice_." She blushed and quickly added "...Sir."

The man sighed - the helmet of his power armor deteriorated the sound in a mechanical way.

"Very well. Haylen, take Rhys inside and secure the door. Tend to his wounds to your best capability until we've decided upon further action. Dismissed."

"Sir." She bowed her head at him, glanced at me with one last smile and led the injured soldier inside the police station. I watched them disappear inside the building, idly wondering what I was getting myself into this time.

A long silence followed and Paladin Danse just stood in place, looking at the ground.

"Hello?" I looked straight at the visor of his helmet. "Anyone in there?"

He stirred as though I had just woken him up.

"I'm sorry. It has... been a hard day." He put a hand to his temple. "Thank you for your assistance. Haylen is right, we are in your debt. So I suppose I _do_ owe you an explanation... We're a recon squad, but our mission here hasn't been going as planned. Since the moment we arrived in the Commonwealth, we've been constantly under fire." He paused.  
"As of today, I'm down a man and our supplies are running dangerously low. Even with one less soldier, we have a week's food rations at the utmost." It didn't surprise me that these people were starving - everyone in the Commonwealth was. What surprised me was that neither Scribe Haylen nor Knight Rhys appeared too concerned with that fact.  
"I hadn't told them yet," Paladin Danse explained, as if able to read my thoughts. "I'm still counting on support..." He sighed again. "In short, this is the situation: I've been trying to send a distress call to reach my superiors, but the signal's simply too weak to reach them. We're on our own out here."

Scribe Haylen walked out of the police station and looked at us. She patiently waited for the superior officer to finish before joining the conversation.

"Sir, if I may?" She stood to attention while speaking to him. I observed that with curiosity. These three people were the most organized group I had encountered in the Wasteland so far. Definitely military.

Paladin Danse nodded approvingly.

"Proceed, Haylen."

Military, but on first name terms...? Something like that.

"I've modified the radio tower on the roof of the police station," she reported. "But I'm afraid it won't be enough. We need something to boost the signal." Instead of her commanding officer, she was looking at me. Paladin Danse too turned in my direction.

"Our target is ArcJet Systems," he explained. "It contains the technology we need - a deep range transmitter. We infiltrate the facility, secure the transmitter and bring it back here." Alright, but why were they telling _me_ that? "So, what do you say? Are you willing to lend the Brotherhood of Steel a hand?"

Of course. _That_ was what it was about.

 _This is the_ _way_ _things work_ _now_ _: instead_ _of_ _returning a favor,_ _people_ _ask_ _for_ _another._

"It's going to be dangerous?" I asked, just as a precaution. Of course it was going to be. They wouldn't be asking for help otherwise.

"I can _assure_ you that I wouldn't undertake this mission unless I had full confidence in your abilities. You did handle yourself well with those ferals."

"Thank you." I didn't know what was the proper response to a compliment from an officer when you weren't a soldier, but this sounded safe. "I'll do what I can to help out."

"Positively outstanding." Paladin Danse nodded, apparently satisfied. "Let me just resupply in the police station and we can head out. If you need ammunition or supplies, feel free to take whatever you require." He opened the door and held it as Scribe Haylen and I walked inside. "I'm afraid we can't spare any food, though."

"It's fine." Food was something I wasn't currently short on.

Scribe Haylen took off her hat and shook her head, a cascade of red hair flowing down her shoulders. I was surprised. Seeing someone with ginger hair after the apocalypse felt like a bucket of cold water to me. It had been rare even before the War, and yet there were still people like that. Life prevails.

I looked around the room we had just entered. It was a typical police station hall, and it was clear the soldiers had been camping here for a while now: most furniture was pushed aside under the walls to create more room and the windows had been professionally boarded up. There were four rucksacks thrown on the floor by the counter, and a military sleeping bag had been set up on the floor - Knight Rhys was now sitting on it with a sour expression.

From one look at how they had organized everything, I was sure these people were professionals. The Brotherhood of Steel had to be what was left of the US army. I already felt good around here.

Paladin Danse removed the helmet of his power armor and blinked a few times as his eyes adjusted to the light. I stared at him, dumbstruck.

Young! The man was surprisingly _young_. He couldn't more than a few years older than me - thirty, at the utmost. Black hair - messy and tangled at the moment - dark brown eyes and thick eyebrows, a scar over his right eye. He had a light stubble, but I supposed that was only to be expected in the circumstances.

"Is something wrong?" He asked. I realized that I was staring.

"I'm sorry," I quickly looked away from his face, embarrassed. "You're just... Not what I was expecting."

"And what _were_ you expecting?"

Dammit, I was only sliding.

"I just thought you would be... older."

"I'll take that as a compliment." He set the helmet on the counter and looked at the injured soldier. Something in his expression softened. "Now, what type of ammunition does that assault rifle of yours use?"

It took me several seconds to process that I was expected to answer that question.

"I have no idea," I repeated honestly. In my family, Nate had always been the gun nut, not me. Now, I was kind of regretting it.

Paladin Danse took the gun away from me and looked at the hull.

"This should utilize standard 5.56 rounds," he decided and handed it back to me. "We have plenty of those."

No, I couldn't resist anymore. I had to know.

"I was just wondering - what exactly is the Brotherhood of Steel?"

Paladin Danse looked as though he had been waiting for me to ask that question. I mentally prepared myself for a lecture.

"We seek to discover the nature of technology and its meaning to humanity. After all, the world's undoing had been caused by too powerful technology in man's hands." Whoa, surprise there: I actually couldn't agree more. "The Brotherhood of Steel seeks out any technology like that that may have survived the War and prevents it from being used again."

"Sounds like a noble cause," I noticed, unable to keep a smile from my face.

"Don't listen to Paladin Danse. He makes _everything_ sound like a noble cause," Scribe Haylen laughed, but her voice was friendly. "It's just the way he talks. He'll have you running errands 'for the good of humanity' before you notice."

Knight Rhys snickered quietly. I couldn't resist a smile, either - the sight of people joking around was extremely uplifting. Paladin Danse, however, was not amused.

"We're fighting for something greater here," he protested sternly. "I want her to be aware of that."

"Yes, sir. Of course, sir." I was pretty sure I could see a smug smile on her face, though. It's not everyday you get to trashtalk your boss and get away with it.

"What about me?" The injured Knight Rhys looked up at us. I kind of sympathized with him.

"As soon as you're on your feet, I want you to make certain that the perimeter is secure."

"I'm on it," the soldier said weakly.

" _Don't_ push yourself." Paladin Danse shook his head in reprobate and walked away to the counter. He opened a drawer and began searching it - for ammunition, as I presumed.

"Can't you just stimpak him?" I asked Scribe Haylen, raising my eyebrow.

She made an offended expression.

"I _could_ ," she said. "But I won't do that unless I'm completely sure that his condition is one that can be safely treated in that way."

I poked the Knight's leg with the tip of my shoe. He moaned in pain.

"Broken," I diagnosed.

"Exactly. These things take time. For the bone to properly mend would take at least a week, something like that can't be rushed. I understand using a Stimpak while in combat, when you need to quickly heal yourself, but what I'm doing here now is the best for him."

"Need any help?" I asked.

"Help Danse get the transmitter, that's the best way you can help us."

"Okay."

"Catch." Paladin Danse threw an ammo box in my direction - I was glad that I managed to catch it without much effort. I held it at away from my face, trying to see it clearly without glasses. Paladin Danse watched this carefully, but did not comment. It was indeed the type of ammo that, according to him, would fit my assault rifle. I hid it in my sackpack and looked at the officer.

"Ready to go?" He asked, tactfully ignoring my sight problems.

"Immediately?" I asked, then realized that it probably wasn't wise to question things like that, especially when I'd already said I was prepared. "I mean, that depends. Are _you_ ready?"

"Affirmative." He picked up the helmet of his power armor and looked over the room one last time before putting it on. He turned towards his subordinates. "We should return before sunrise if everything goes well, but I'm not entirely certain about that. And Haylen..." He hesitated, but regained his composure within a second. "If I don't come back within two days, you're in charge."

"Yes, sir." She wasn't smiling anymore, and I realized how quickly things could go from happy to grim and serious in this world. Danger was normal and to be expected.

It was kind of depressing.

"...Miss Smith?" Paladin Danse pronounced my name uncertainly, but it was obvious he wanted to get my attention.

"Missus," I corrected automatically. My hand almost mechanically went to touch the wedding ring on my left ring finger, as if to check if it was still there.

"My mistake." He gave an apologetic nod of his head. I was still amazed at how well this man managed to express emotions with his face covered. Did he, like, _practice_ body language? "Anyway, we should go. It's not a very short trip."

"Yeah, sure. Let's go."

Paladin Danse reloaded his weapon and headed outside. I followed him close behind, but Scribe Haylen stopped me at the door.

"Good luck," she said quietly, though the friendly smile was still present on her face. "Do keep him safe, will you?"

I had a feeling it was going to be the other way around. I was still frustratingly clueless to the world around me and knew that I was more likely to get into trouble than anyone else in the entire Wasteland, as it seemed. Despite all that, I promised that I would look out for the Paladin.

After all, making promises doesn't hurt.

Only keeping them.

 **Level up.**  
 **New perk: Medic - is there a doctor in the house? Stimpaks now restore +5% of lost health and RadAway removes +10% of radiation.**  
 **Level up.**  
 **New perk: Action Girl - there's no time to waste! Reload faster, aim faster, shoot faster!... While in combat, you now move slightly faster than your opponent - which makes you that much harder to hit.**


	6. Semper Invicta

**Chapter Five  
Semper Invicta  
**

* * *

I found Paladin Danse outside, standing by a lamppost. He was looking at one of the bodies which lay on the ground, and only because of his interest in it I noticed that it wasn't one of the feral ghouls. I looked at the soldier in silent question.

"Keane didn't make it." He explained in a voice completely void of any emotion. It was almost scary. "He was a good Knight... And a good man. Another one I've lost to this godforsaken wasteland."

Regret? Spite? Whatever he was feeling at the moment, it was a strong emotion. I wanted to help.

"We should transport his body to the police station." I decided.

"The mission is more important," Paladin Danse reasoned. "We'll give him a proper burial, but once we've finished what we've started." He knelt down and gently closed the dead soldier's eyes. He muttered something quietly - I recognized Latin - and stood up in silence. He then looked at me. "The best way to honor the memory of someone who's died is to live by what they believed in. To continue their work."

"I'm not trying to replace your soldier," I said quietly.

"No one is saying you are." He sounded almost _offended_ by the notion. "Either way, we should get a move on. Follow me - and please, try not to lag behind."

I nodded, trying not to show how ridiculous I found that idea: that he in that heavy suit of armor would move faster than me. I knew perfectly well who would be the one lagging behind, and that certainly wasn't me.

But when we did set off, I immediately understood what he had meant. Clearly Paladin Danse didn't want to waste time on walking, because we started off at a quick-paced jog and, while I wasn't exactly falling behind, I did have some trouble with keeping up.

I didn't exactly want to ask him to go slower because I didn't want to appear like someone who was having trouble. Those were the first people I've seen in a day - reputation was incredibly important.

Taking how I was still following him, I had to settle on looking at the rear side of his power armor. I was pretty sure I had already memorized every single detail of its built. I could also examine the rifle Paladin Danse had taken with him, since it was holstered on his back. Now, _that_ was slightly more interesting - some kind of energy weapon, but I hadn't seen anything like that before in real life. Only on the television, and the photos Nate would show me sometimes.

"Can I take a look?" I asked, nodding my head at the gun.

Paladin Danse glanced at me over his shoulder, but because of the power armor helmet covering his face, I couldn't say what his expression was.

"I'd rather not hand you over a loaded weapon," he replied hesitantly.

"Of course," I said with a fair dose of sarcasm. "Because I really want to murder you in cold blood right now. That's the only thing on my mind."

"I don't see how this is a joking matter."

If I had known this man better, I would have probably continued the banter, but I didn't want to offend him. I kept my mouth shut from then on.

I noticed Paladin Danse curiously glancing at me from time to time. He was initially trying to be discreet about that before he gave up altogether and just slowed down the pace so that we were walking side by side.

"A functioning RobCo Pip-Boy is extremely rare to come by," he noticed casually. "Especially one in such a good condition."

Impossible. I had thought that politeness had long since died. Wow, that Brotherhood of Steel was really bringing back lots of my hope in humanity.

"If you want to see it, all you need is to ask, you know."

"Can I really?" He asked carefully, as if not quite believing that I would let him.

I rolled my eyes, exasperated.

"Dear Lord in heaven, this is not anything sacred or something like that." I unclipped the bracer and handed him the device. "There you go. Take a look."

I had to admit - I did it mostly to make him feel bad about not letting me see his laser rifle. (I was the better person. One point for me.)

Paladin Danse turned all of his attention to the Pip-Boy, holding it in his hands in the way one holds a portable gaming console.

"This is really an inspiring piece of technology," he said in wonder.

I raised an eyebrow.

"I guess." I _had_ been impressed by the device's capabilities, but I hadn't reached the level of awe that I saw in the soldier when he examined it.

It was clear he knew what he was doing - he was pressing the correct buttons, checking different statistics I hadn't even known existed...

"Do you know how to turn off the radio?" I asked quickly, as I saw my opportunity.

"Obviously." He tapped on the highlighted frequency, Diamond City Radio. The music in my ear cut off abruptly and I relished in the silence. "The same way you turn it on."

Now I felt completely stupid. Had I _really_ not thought of that?

"As amazing as this is, we should get a move on." Paladin Danse handed me back the Pip-Boy. I placed it back on my left forearm - the familiar weight was almost comforting now. "It's relics like this that remind me just how _low_ humanity has fallen. Makes me wish I lived before the War."

I nodded, trying to adjust to the new, more brisk pace he had set.

"You have no idea," I mumbled to myself.

This man was older than me - and yet he had been born in this cruel world, he had lived his whole life in a reality where people killed each other on daily basis, where everything that existed had been created by the fallout of a war...

It was beginning to dawn on me that I wasn't lost only metaphorically - I was also lost in time. And while I had a chance of finding a way out of the former, the latter was inescapable. There would be no going back to the way things were. Even if I did find Shaun, we would have to live in the Wasteland. The Commonwealth. This was my home now. The dried trees and thick clouds that covered the grayish sky. It was getting dark...

"It's getting dark," I noticed aloud. The soldier's presence still kind of intimidated me, but it was also a motivation. I wanted to show my best side, prove my worth. I wondered how he would react to the fact that my Pip-Boy had a built-in lamp. He would probably be impressed - after all, it was a feature I hadn't even known about for a long time.

I was seriously considering turning it on, but at that exact moment, Paladin Danse flicked on the light of his power armor. The strong reflector emitted a solid beam of light which immediately illuminated the road for well over thirty meters ahead.

Now I felt silly with my little green Pip-Boy flashlight.

Fortunately, the feeling didn't last very long - we arrived at our destination.

The large factory building looked almost untouched by the passage of time - and by the things that you usually find in the Wasteland: raiders, mutated creatures, weird irradiated things and the likes. It was somewhat distressing, actually.

"There it is - ArcJet Systems." Paladin Danse reached for his laser rifle. I was relieved - apparently it wasn't just me who felt danger in the air. "Intel says there's no exterior security on the building, so we should be able to enter without much trouble."

"I hope," I commented dryly. "I'm pretty much done with fighting for the day."

"That makes the two of us," he muttered to himself - I wasn't even sure if I was supposed to hear it.

I was about to open the door, but Paladin Danse stopped me by putting a hand on my shoulder - which made me wince, because the metal armor was incredibly heavy.

I looked up at his face - or rather, I only looked at the helmet that concealed his face.

"Before we head in, one last word." He stepped from one foot to another, but other than that, his posture emanated calmness. I found that comforting: it was fine, he had everything under control. Just this once, I didn't have to worry about everything. "I want you to understand one thing: when I give you an order, I expect you to follow it. I can only trust you if you trust me in return - if we work as a team, this op should go smoothly. And, I cannot emphasize this enough, _no heroics_. Do you understand that?"

"Yes, sir." I rolled my eyes. I wasn't a little child. (Technically, I was 200 years older than him.)

"There isn't such a thing as a heroic sacrifice," he added. "You either make it out alive or you don't."

"I _understand_." I was beginning to get exasperated - he was worrying about me more than I was.

"And do check your fire. I don't want to be hit by stray bullets."

"Stop lecturing me." At this point I was almost offended. "This isn't my first rodeo, soldier boy."

Paladin Danse sighed.

"No, I doubt it is... _Ad_ _contram_ , I think you know exactly what you're doing."

I took that statement as the end of the conversation, so I pulled the door open and nodded my head at the entrance.

"After you."

He nodded and walked inside, weapon drawn and ready to shoot if necessary. I took out my assault rifle, checked if I had loaded the magazine (of course, I hadn't), reloaded - which took me at least another minute - and eventually followed him into the building.

The hall was huge, pompous - and entirely empty. I looked around. It looked just like the main hall of any facility back in my time, except for the occasional piles of rubble and rust. This place wasn't as destroyed as most of the Commonwealth - which was a most welcome change. Still, the emptiness was unnerving. There should have been some security... I gripped my assault rifle.

Paladin Danse was checking something on a terminal placed on the reception desk. He looked up at me and abandoned that activity.

"ArcJet played a major role in humanity's downfall. It's private companies like this that proved to be the world's undoing."

"Vault-Tec," I added, staring at the ground. The company were responsible for the death of my family, friends and neighbors with their stupid social experiments - 'for the good of science'?! _Some good science had done._

"Actually, _they_ may have just saved humanity." The Paladin kicked a pile of rubble. "The real question is whether it was something worth being saved."

I looked up at him in surprise - this was the first relatively philosophic thing I had heard in the Wasteland. And it had to be something massively depressing, just my luck.

"Life is always worth fighting for," I stated firmly.

"I suppose..." He shook his head rapidly. "You have to forgive me, I haven't been feeling well recently... What I'm saying is completely irrelevant to our mission here."

"I don't mind." Honestly, I had been alone long enough to crave _any_ sort of conversation. The more casual, the better.

"I do. This is complete lack of professionalism on my side. We should focus on our objective." He motioned for me to follow him as he walked into a hallway in the corner of the room. "I searched that terminal and it turns out that they actually did spaceship engine tests in this facility. The transmitter we are looking for should be located in the engine control room." He stopped to look down at me. I felt tiny and weak all of a sudden. "Regrettably, this means that we will have to go through most of the building to get it."

"You said you were in a hurry? This might be a setback." I noticed. "I don't think it's going to take that long, though." There was no security to be seen - that would surely make our job easier.

He just shook his head without a word and we continued in silence for a moment - that is, until we stumbled across a sliding door which we couldn't open.

To put it plainly, there wasn't a handle - the door was supposed to be automatic, but the power probably wasn't distributed here anymore after two hundred years. Paladin Danse almost immediately opened some panel on the wall next to it and began meddling with some wires. I was just hoping he knew what he was doing and wouldn't get electrocuted with me standing nearby.

"Excuse me, Paladin?" I resisted the urge to tap him on the power armor - I wasn't sure if that would be considered rude.

"What is it?" He stopped what he was doing and looked straight at me, which was somewhat scary in all that power armor - it made him well over seven feet tall, and the metal helmet almost made you forget that there was an actual person inside.

"Was your squad the only one sent to the, ah, Commonwealth?"

He was silent for a moment and the only sounds that could be heard was our breathing and the occasional clanking of his power armor when he moved.

"...Why are you asking?" Paladin Danse finally asked - cautiously and unsurely.

"Because I may have stumbled across another group of soldiers who called themselves scribes, knights and paladins."

"You found Paladin Brandis and his squad?" His voice emanated happiness as much as surprise. "I knew they... I mean, I hadn't _supposed_ , but... What happened to them? They weren't anywhere we've been - we should have met by now."

I felt a lump in my throat. He didn't know.

The news I had been meaning to deliver to Paladin Brandis, if he was still alive... Maybe I had been wrong. Maybe I had been supposed to find _this_ squad and help them out. So that I could finally tell that story.

I closed my eyes.

"They're dead, Paladin."

There was a moment of silence.

"They fought until the very end... They died bravely, like proper soldiers." At this point, words were spilling from my mouth on their own. Everything I had been holding inside all this time, I could finally share it with someone. With the person who was entitled to know - who _deserved_ to know. "There were only four survivors - Paladin Brandis, Scribe Faris, Knight Astlin and Knight Varham. They were being attacked by overwhelming forces and had to leave their power armor behind. Knight Varham sacrificed his life to ensure the rest made it out." I hadn't even noticed when I began to get emotional. "They made it to their outpost and the Paladin and Scribe Faris left to install some sort of distress beacon. Knight Astlin was killed by a horde of feral ghouls. I found Faris's body at Revere Satellite Array... The trail ended there, I don't know what happened to Paladin Brandis." I let out a sigh - reporting all of that so quickly had left me breathless.

I looked at Paladin Danse, who hadn't moved a muscle all the while I had been speaking.

"...I'm sorry for your loss," I added quietly. It only now came to me that he must have known those people.

"Knight Astlin used to serve in my brigade," he said. "The best marksman I've ever known. Brandis was my squad leader for a short time." He leaned on the wall, as though he was suddenly having trouble with standing upright (although I knew that the power armor would hold him up even if he fell unconscious). "And now, it is happening all over again. The exactly same thing that has happened to them - it's happening to us."

Four, I realized. Two Knights, a Paladin and a Scribe. Knight Keane had just died. Me and Paladin Danse had just gone to get a transmitted to set up a distress beacon. This was really the same...

"It's different though." I said, wanting to convince him as much as myself. "Because you have me now. I'll do what I can to help."

"I appreciate it." He put a hand to his head. "But... Dead, all of them? It's hard to accept. Such good soldiers..."

"I've got their holotags," I said solemnly and fumbled with the pockets of my Vault jumpsuit to produce the three. I handed them to Paladin Danse, who just stared at the small items as if they could disappear at any moment.

"Thank you, I..." He looked at the ground, then again at the dogtags. "This means a lot to me."

"I wish I could have done more," I replied. I wasn't sure how to act. This man was clearly mourning over the loss of his comrades. "Do you want to be alone now?" I asked.

"Yes. That... I'd like that, yes." He sighed. "But this is hardly the appropriate moment for any further delays. No, we have to push on - for the sake of their memory if no other reason."

He took a step back from the door, raised his laser rifle and shot at the panel in the wall.

"Are you cra-" I began, but broke off when the door slid open after some sparks burst from the panel. I stared at the soldier. "How- I mean, there's no way you could have known what would happen! That was _lucky_!"

"I can't agree." He shook his head. "Not to be presumptuous, but I know my way around technology quite well. A properly controlled short circuit was almost certain to cause the system to initiate a reaction. The simple door control system works on a binary logic: open and closed, therefore the only reaction possible was the current state of the matter changing."

"So basically what you're saying is that shooting the control panel opened the door," I translated.

"That is not the way I would have phrased it, but for the sake of colloquialism, yes. Shooting the panel opened the door."

I shook my head and walked through the door.

"Whoa," I said as I took in the sight of the room.

"What is it?" Paladin Danse pushed me aside - with gentleness that was surprising for someone in a suit of power armor - and too looked where I was looking. "Well... I hadn't expected this."

Three or four security robots ( _"_ _Protectron_ _, the new lawman! Keeping the American society safe!"_ I remembered the pre-war advertisement) were laying on the floor in a heap of metal and electronic compounds. I guessed that explained why we hadn't encountered any of them yet.

"But that's good," I said. "Less security to worry about."

"Wrong." Paladin Danse protested. "This is not 'good' in any definition of the word. Look at the evidence presented: someone or something had destroyed these robots with uncanny precision - and there's not a single drop of blood in sight, either. This isn't your usual raider attack or even mercenary work. No, these robots were attacked by Institute synths."

I nodded.

"The Institute, of course." I had heard that name before, but I couldn't recall when. "No, actually not. I'm completely lost. What's the Institute?"

At the time I didn't realize it yet, but I had just asked what would be one of the arguably most important questions in my life.

"The Institute," Paladin Danse pronounced profoundly. "Just another example that the steps to hell are paved with good intentions." He cleared his throat - or just coughed, I wasn't sure. "After the nuclear detonation in what would later become the Commonwealth, a group of scientists from the M.I.T. sought refuge underground. They developed an... Organization. The Institute of Technology, then just the Institute. Their sole goal was to improve humanity, to ensure the war never happened again - a noble cause, the same one our order pursues. But their methods left much to be desired. And people could see that... There was mistrust to the Institute in the Commonwealth, and eventually they entirely separated themselves from the rest of the world. As time went, the Institute became something more of an urban legend, a story told in the shadows of dark alleys... But we have reasons to believe that they still live beneath the Commonwealth, developing new, destructive technology. The synths are probably the best example of how abusive of science those people can be."

"Synth?" I repeated, because that was a word I hadn't heard before. "But isn't that the same as robot?"

"Synths are the Institute's most advanced creations. Biologically engineered robots made to resemble a human being as closely as possible - lately to the extent that it's nearly impossible to tell them apart from real people."

"But that's ridiculous," I argued. "There's no such thing."

"I only wish. An advanced enough synth can pass as a human being, infiltrate our society. Who knows what the Institute is playing at? Thankfully, people of the Commonwealth are wary, but I personally think that it's not possible to act in all cases... Not every catastrophe can be averted."

I raised an eyebrow at the tone of his voice.

"Sounds like you're scared of synths," I noticed with a smirk.

Paladin Danse shifted his weight to the other leg, gripped his laser rifle more tightly.

"There's a fair difference between being afraid and being cautious," he said dryly. "I would suggest you not to jump to such rash conclusions."

"Alright then, whatever you say." I held up my hands, trying not to let it show that his defensive response only ensured me in my beliefs.

I looked around the room we found ourselves in. There was a desk with a password-protected terminal on top of it, a lot of useless trash and technical documents lying all over the floor, a closed metal door and a hallway leading further into the factory. The hallway was completely blocked by rubble.

"Oh, amazing!" I complained. "Now what?"

"I doubt we'll be able to break through this rubble," Paladin Danse observed. "We might have to take the way around."

"That does _not_ help us," I noticed with a bittersweet smile. "The door is locked. Unless you feel like shooting something up again."

"That would not work in this case..." He said slowly, knocking his fist on the metal surface of the door. "Titanium. Even my laser rifle wouldn't melt this. And your bullets would just ricochet." He looked around the room. "Alright, we have to find some way to get it open."

"This terminal?" I suggested, nodding my head at the desk.

"It wont hurt to give it a try."

We walked to the desk and Paladin Danse pushed the chair away. (Pity, I kind of wanted to see him try and sit down in all that armor.) He began typing something on the keyboard with speed that was just impossible to me. The terminal demanded password to access it.

"You see?" I asked. "This isn't going to get us any-"

I broke off mid-sentence because he typed in some kind of command and was rewarded with a string of numbers and letters filling the screen.

"What did you just do?!" I exclaimed. "How did you- Wow."

He didn't even look at me as he replied.

"Have you never tried hacking?"

"I have tried guessing the password," I admitted. "Isn't that the same as hacking?"

"No. It's not. This is far easier. I'll just need to find the correct string of characters which unlocks the security and we're through. The thing is, it might take some time for me to actually find it. There's not really much time for educated guesswork here - I'll need to proceed cautiously if I don't want to be locked out of the terminal, so... It might... Take me... some time..."

"You're just really bad at this, aren't you." I was trying very hard not to smirk.

"Not 'bad', only out of practice," he protested in a defensive voice. "This is a job Scribes usually get done."

"How long will it take you to crack this?" I asked, feeling tired of all this nonsense.

"I'm not certain. Hopefully not very long."

I sighed.

"I'll look for some faster way to get it open," I announced.

"You may try, but I doubt you'll find anything."

"Why _thank you_ for having so much faith in me," I said sarcastically. The soldier seemed confused, but let that pass.

I looked around the room in search of anything that might help us. A filing cabinet? Not useful. Some papers lying all over the floor? The chances that they held the password to the terminal or another way to remotely open the door were rather slim, not to mention that the documents were all my age - over two centuries old. Not all of them were in a perfect state.

I noticed one thing, however, that gave me some hope - another desk, this one hidden in the corner, and a terminal on top of it. I sat down on the chair in front of the monitor and turned the computer on. Jackpot! This one didn't require a password to enter.

It seemed this was a utility terminal, and there were several text files, all of them seemingly just technical information. I was about to give up and just wait for Paladin Danse to hack into the other one when I noticed that there was also another file on the terminal, this one an audio recording. I downloaded it onto my Pip-Boy, which tagged it as 'mechanic's note', and pressed play.

 _"Great job, Greg."_ The man had a strong accent. Amazing, this was going to be even harder to comprehend. _"I'm done with you forgetting the password all the time. We're both gonna get fired if this keeps on."_ I perked up at that - the password to the terminal! _"This is the last time I'm changing it for you, so if you still care, you should know. Mum's favorite legend, 'Arthur and_ _Diwrnach_ _'. Remember? The ship Arthur used to return to Ireland? That's your new password. And I sure hope to God that you don't forget again."_

...What?

"Arthur and Diwrnach?" I repeated. Paladin Danse looked at me, surprise all over his posture. I cleared my throat. "Do you know any Welsh legends?"

"Welsh legends?" He repeated slowly. "Are you sure you're feeling all right?"

Great. The last thing I needed was for this man to think I was losing it.

"This is the password to the terminal," I explained quickly. "Turns out, the mechanic and the janitor were brothers and they were from Wales. The password is a name from that legend, the ship Arthur used to return to Ireland."

Paladin Danse turned to the terminal and quickly typed something.

"It worked," he said with a fair dose of surprise.

"What?!" I exclaimed. "How come do you know that?"

"I... just do," he replied. "It doesn't matter. What matters is we can open the door."

He pressed something on the keyboard and the door slid open. It was almost too easy.

"I don't like this," I murmured. "I don't think we're alone here. You said it yourself, those robot things were here before. If that's the case, then why was the door closed?"

He looked at me for a moment before drawing his weapon.

"I hope you're wrong. But then again... No, this does not make sense. What would the Institute be looking for here? Of all places..."

"You know," I said casually, "I really don't want to be rude or anything, but do you realize that this whole Institute probably doesn't even _exist_ in the first place?"

He didn't answer, so when I stopped talking it suddenly became very silent - so silent that it was almost unsettling. I felt hairs on the back of my neck standing up. Alright, maybe there _was_ someone else here...

Paladin Danse looked at me pointedly, as if wanting to say 'I told you so'. But he didn't say anything, only motioned for me to follow him as he sneaked through the newly opened door. (Although I couldn't call _that_ sneaking with a clear conscience - the amount of noise the metal armor made was still too big to be inconspicuous.)

As soon as we entered the large conference room, I realized that all that caution on our side was more than justified - there were twenty or so androids in that room, apparently searching it for something.

I held my breath for a fraction of a second as I tried to get a better look at them.

The robots were vastly humanoid, but they were only bare endoskeletons, made from metal with all sorts of wires hanging out in a messy manner. Their eyes were camera visors which seemed to capture even the smallest movement.

As soon as we looked at them, they looked straight at us - and opened fire!

I would have died in that very place at that exact moment, disintegrated by the robots' energy weapons and turned into a pile of ash. I would have - if it weren't for Paladin Danse, who quickly yanked me by the collar of my Vault suit and brutally shoved behind himself.

I felt a wave of shock rush through me, as well as a fair dose of guilt that he was covering me with his own body. Sure, he had to be aware that that power armor would take tons of damage, but the gesture was still surprisingly chivalric. And I still felt that he was risking his life to keep me alive.

The truth was, I wouldn't have handled it anyway. All I needed was one look at the cabinet which was standing nearby when it was hit by a stray bolt of energy and _collapsed into a pile of ash_! If Paladin Danse hadn't reacted, the first shot would have killed me. For now, his power armor was the only thing keeping both of us alive.

I gripped my hunting rifle. No way in hell was I going down without a fight - especially not when it was not only my life that was at stake this time.

I have to give justice to the Paladin - I kind of used his body as a cover and only leaned out when necessary, to give one or two precise shots. Those cursed robots just refused to die, no matter how much ammo we packed into them - and taking how powerful Paladin Danse's laser rifle was, especially when aided by my assault rifle, that was saying a lot.

"What _are_ those things?!" I exclaimed.

"I told you!" He shouted back to me. "Synths!"

"But they _don't_ look human!" I protested. I looked around frantically. It was clear we were losing - we were severely outnumbered, and the enemy had the advantage of the fact that... Well, that I wasn't a trained soldier like my companion. And I wasn't wearing armor steadfast enough to protect me properly. And I didn't have a proper weapon... I just wasn't prepared for something like this!

I looked around the room. There had to be something I could work on. There had to be a way out of this situation... I found myself grinning. Yes!

"Electronic or mechanic?" I asked quickly.

"What?!" Paladin Danse made the mistake of looking at me instead of our enemies.

"Your power armor!" I said urgently.

"Ah- mechanic!" He answered quickly. "But why do you even need-"

"Because I don't want to kill you," I replied with a smirk. Then, I quickly aimed and shot - not at any of the synths attacking us, but at the ceiling. The fire alarm system...? I closed my eyes, hoping that I was right and I hadn't just stupidly shot at the ceiling.

I felt water on my face! I opened my eyes with a wide grin. Then the system worked as I had expected it to and activated a spring system. Water was now falling from various points on the ceiling, wettening nearly everything in the room. That included the synths. Alright, I had been hoping they would break down permanently due to some kind of shock reaction - that wasn't the case, but the water still managed to deal some damage to their circuits. Those wires all hanging out in the open couldn't be good for the robots' well-being, I thought.

It seemed the synths were stunned for the moment, even if it was a temporary solution.

Paladin Danse ran to one of them, turned back and threw something in my direction. I managed to catch it, surprised as I was. (He enjoyed throwing supplies at me, didn't he?) I looked at the object - it was a shock baton, similar to the security baton I had picked up in Vault 111, but with a built-in taser. I didn't need any further instructions - the message was clear enough. _Electricity and water, best friends._

I ran from one robot to another, taking them out by pressing the shock baton to their metal bodies. The job was simple and didn't require much skill (of any sort), so as a result it didn't take the two of us even a minute to effectively get rid of them all.

As soon as we were done, I quickly threw away the shock baton. I was still kind of damp, and I certainly didn't want to get electrocuted. I was also proud of myself! I looked at Paladin Danse, awaiting approval.

"That was... quite impressive, civilian." He admitted. "Quick thinking. Good job."

"Oh, come on! I was _brilliant_!" I complained. After how close I had come to dying, I felt that I deserved some more credit. "You would _never_ get this idea on your own!"

Paladin Danse shook his head.

"We were caught off-guard. That should never have happened." He knelt down, examining one of the robots. "It's my fault. I failed to recognize those obvious details even you managed to notice, therefore putting us both in danger."

I didn't get it. I was happy with our victory. He was disappointed...? I really didn't get it.

"Still. All the more reason for us to push on." He stood up and handed me a white pistol - one of the energy weapons the synths had been using. I accepted it gratefully. Now that I had seen how powerful those laser weapons could be, I was more than happy to own one. "It can't be a coincidence that those synths are here in the exactly same moment as we are. They must know about the Brotherhood."

"You're being a bit paranoid," I noticed. "Even if that Institute does exist, what would they want from your little military group?"

He stared at me.

"You may say what you want about the Brotherhood of Steel, but I can assure you... Do _not_ mistake it for 'little'." He sounded actually offended. I must have accidentally hit a personal subject. "And there's plenty the Institute would want from us. The likes of them want something from everyone." He paused, as if carefully considering his next words. "It... may have been a mistake on my side, letting you join me on this operation."

"Why?" I asked, then realized what he was implying. I felt myself get angry. "Hey, I can handle myself! If it weren't for me, you would still be fighting those things!"

"I'm not denying that you are helpful," he said. "But if those synths are here for the deep-range transmitter, getting it might prove more complicated than I had thought it would be. This may take a bad turn."

"Well, if this is a race between them and us, we should be racing." I grinned. "Right?"

He gave a quick nod - any hesitation gone, all professionalism.

"Affirmative."

We continued on through the hallway the synths had apparently created by smashing a hole in the wall. It was funny, actually - in a way, they made it easier for us to find our way through the facility.

The hall soon changed into a dark corridor full of two centuries old technical papers and small pieces of technology, all of them broken. The metal floor made very loud clanking noises under our feet - and that included not only the heavily armored soldier, but me as well. I felt as though it was about to fall apart.

"Watch your step in here," Paladin Danse warned me. "It seems that the power has been cut from this section of the building." He stopped to pick up some sort of scanner that was laying on the ground. "Now isn't this fascinating..."

I ignored him and continued on until all of a sudden I found myself standing on the edge of a catwalk over a huge, empty chamber.

"Whoa." My voice was carried around the room by an echo as I looked around, impressed by what I was seeing.

This was clearly some kind of test chamber, with an enormous rocketship engine hung up on the ceiling. From where I was standing, I could clearly see the whole room, which descended at least thirty meters below.

"Wow." Paladin Danse joined me and looked around in awe. "Look at the size of this place! Scribes'd have a field _day_ in here!"

This time, the echo was so loud that it was a wonder the old catwalk didn't collapse from the sound of it.

"Is this transmitter here?" I asked, glancing around.

"It should be just up ahead."

I looked to the left, where the catwalk was leading upwards to a higher level. It didn't look entirely secure. I experimentally put my foot on the metal stairs.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "This doesn't exactly look very safe."

"We're almost there." Paladin Danse shook his head. "Besides, I don't see another way."

He was right. There was another section of the catwalk to our right, but it led downwards, to the ground. From what I could see, there was an elevator down there, but there wasn't much chance that it would still be functional after two hundred years.

I hesitantly stepped onto the catwalk. It didn't fall apart under my weight, but somehow all I could think about was how the fall from there was over thirty meters down.

"I don't think we should go at the same time," I said. "No offense, but how heavy is that armor of yours?"

"A suit of power armor weighs over seven hundred pounds..." He replied with some hesitance.

I took a step back.

"And you think you can just walk over this two hundred years old very fragile metal platform?!" I exclaimed. "You think it's safe for me to be here with you?! At the same time?!"

He waved a hand dismissively.

"Believe me, with such big numbers, a few pounds here or there doesn't make much difference. If this structure was not to hold my weight, it would have collapsed regardless of whether you're there or not."

I felt myself grow weak. Especially when the catwalk squeaked in protest after the soldier joined me on the stairs.

"It _would_ have...?" I repeated.

The platform shifted dangerously and we locked eyes. I had no idea what his expression was, but I had to be terrified.

"We should go," we decided simultaneously.

To be entirely honest, we didn't go. We _ran_. Which was probably why the catwalk finally gave in to our combined weight and the entire section collapsed - mere moments after Paladin Danse made it to the door at the end, but a moment before I managed to get there as well.

For a fraction of a second, I felt nothing. The ground under my feet was gone and I was floating. Time seemed to slow down as I opened my mouth, ready to scream.

Then, it happened very fast: I wasn't floating - I was falling! The ground was getting closer at an extreme speed, but suddenly it stopped as I felt a tight grip on my left wrist. The scream that had been building up in my throat came out as a sigh of disbelieving relief.

Paladin Danse caught me!

I tried not to look down, at all that space that separated me from the ground. I would _not_ have survived that fall. Instead, I looked up, at the soldier who was now pulling me up from the ledge.

"You saved my life," I whispered, panting as I tried to regulate my breathing.

"I guess that makes us even," he noticed while he helped me scramble up into the room which was, as I was guessing, the control room we had been looking for. I looked around and immediately took a step back when I noticed a small group of synths (which resulted in me walking into the Paladin, which resulted in the both of us nearly falling down the ledge again).

"Oh shi-!" I almost let out a swear, but then I noticed the way Paladin Danse was glaring at me and quickly corrected myself. "-shoot."

He tilted his head to the side, obviously confused.

"More synths," I explained.

"And they haven't noticed us yet?" He sounded doubtful. "Not very likely. I-"

As if on cue, at that exact moment the robots began firing their weapons at us. I instinctively sought refuge behind my armor-clad companion (which, looking at it objectively, wasn't very honorable of me), but after a second I quickly took out my brand new laser pistol and began shooting. I had to admit that my aim wasn't exactly on the spot, but once aided by Paladin Danse's laser rifle the small gun could do much more damage to the robots than my assault rifle.

There had only been five synths in the room anyway, and it seemed to me like we were winning. I even dared to stop cowering behind the soldier - which actually did wonders for my aim accuracy now that I didn't have to worry about accidentally shooting an ally.

Two minutes and it was over. Paladin Danse's power armor was now in a significantly worse state than before we had entered the building and the leather pad on my shoulder had a smelted black hole in it (so it turned out that it was useful after all!), but other than that, we were more or less fine.

"The transmitter?" I asked, remembering what our reason for having come here in the first place had been.

"I can't find it," Paladin Danse said, a note of urgency in his voice. He was searching all the cabinets. "I don't understand. It should be here. It should. I've checked and double-checked and it all made sense."

Technically speaking, he was completely calm, but to me it seemed like he was panicking a bit.

I looked around, trying to ignore the clanking of metal as he proceeded to re-open every single drawer he had checked. I winced. Yes, definitely panicking.

I took a closer look at the bodies of the synths we had killed. (I wasn't sure if I could use the term 'body' to describe something that hadn't even been alive at all, but I didn't know how else to refer to them.) I was still kind of scared of them, even now when I knew they couldn't bring me any harm. They had plastic sort of thing instead of a face, and all those wires and metal parts sticking out to the surface didn't do much good for the overall impression they made. But disturbing appearance aside, there was one thing in particular that made me interested in the synth that was laying on the ground beside me - I wasn't sure if that element had been a part of the original robot. I tried prying the object from the robot's hand, and soon I was holding it instead. Some kind of electronic compound - advanced technology, if I with my very limited knowledge of the topic could say so.

I looked at Paladin Danse, who was currently throwing out papers from a desk - systematically enough to appear fine, but brutally enough to appear desperate. I cleared my throat loudly. He looked at me, so I held up the object I had found.

"Is this maybe it?" I asked. I wasn't exactly hoping that I had found the deep-range transmitter itself, but maybe it was something useful at least.

"Yes..." He said slowly. "Yes. I..." He realized how stupid he must have looked searching for it. "How, uh... Where did you find it?"

"This synth had it?" I raised an eyebrow. "So suppose you were right after all and they did come here for the transmitter. But why? Why would robots want to transmit something?"

He reloaded his rifle.

"I told you already that the Institute aren't robots. Those are real people - and however vile their intentions may be, they always have a reason."

I was beginning to get kind of tired of that suspicious agenda of his - even though I had now seen that maybe there _was_ a reason for him to believe that that Institute did exist. Society hadn't changed much in those two hundred years, had it? Take a bunch of technologically advanced robots and an urban legend turned myth and what you get is mass paranoia.

The thing was, if the Institute wasn't real, what were those things I had just killed?

"Look." Paladin Danse called out to me from the far end of the room. "There's an elevator to the surface from here."

I had almost forgotten that we were deep under the ground. I walked up to him and was rewarded with the first pleasant surprise the Wasteland had granted me with.

"It's still working?" I exclaimed with a wide smile. "What are the odds?"

"I was surprised myself," the soldier admitted. "What I'm guessing is that the synths had been intending to use it to retreat until we engaged them in combat. After all, they had already acquired the transmitter. They were ready to leave the facility."

"And we can now use the path they created," I understood.

"Exactly." He pressed the call button and the door slid open. I walked inside, then he did the same. I was afraid the elevator wouldn't hold the weight of the power armor, but it seemed it was working. "Make no mistake, I still have some maters to discuss with you. But that can wait until we make sure it's safe to talk."

"Fine." I shrugged.

The elevator doors opened and we were able to finally leave the ArcJet Systems building through what was basically an employees only entrance at the back. I thought about how much easier our job would have been if we had used this entrance instead.

The first thing I noticed once we walked outside was that it had already gone dark. We had left the police station early in the evening, which meant that we were behind schedule. Alas, I wasn't much concerned. We had done a good job, considering there had been some unexpected combat along the way.

Paladin Danse took off his helmet and breathed in a mouthful of fresh air. (Or at least, as fresh as air got in the Wasteland.)

"Well," he winced. "That could have gone smoother. But at least we secured the transmitter."

" _Smoother_?" I repeated. "I thought we worked well. You know, together. As a team."

"I agree." He offered me a smile. "I'm... not entirely sure I would have made it on my own. Your assistance is most appreciated." The kind expression disappeared from his face, replaced by a frown. "But the matter remains that we were caught unprepared more than once - that should never have happened. I failed as a commanding officer _and_ as a soldier. In this, I've put a civilian in danger, which should never have happened, either."

"But you saved my life too," I pointed out. "That counts as more than enough in my book."

"I suppose." He closed his eyes and let out a breath. "Now, if you'll hand me the transmitter?"

"Oh, sorry." I quickly gave him the small compound. "I forgot I still have it."

"Thank you." He cleared his throat. "There's no hiding that this op was much more complicated than either of us could have expected it to be. But you kept your cool and fought like a proper soldier. I highly value that... So I'm willing to give you something in return for that unexceptionable performance, if there's anything you'd want."

My eyes lit up with new hope.

"Actually, yes. There's something you could give me. A simple information: how long have you been here?"

He seemed confused, but replied. "We first arrived in the Commonwealth nearly three weeks ago."

I felt a gloomy feeling of disappointment.

"So you don't know your way around much better than me," I summed up. "Pity. I don't suppose you could show me the way to Diamond City, then. It's supposedly the biggest settlement around here, but I don't even know where to look."

"Diamond City?" He repeated, narrowing his eyebrows. "Built inside the old Fenway Park stadium, right in the middle of Boston? Yes, I know the way."

I bit my lip. It was the middle of the night, we were at least a few hours late. But... I finally found someone who could help me get on with looking for Shaun. I wasn't going to let that pass.

"Favor for a favor?" I asked. "Can you show me the way to Diamond City?"

"I can even _escort_ you there." Paladin Danse said friendlily. "You've done a great deal for the Brotherhood. It's the least I can do to return the favor." He let out a nervous laugh as he scratched the back of his neck. "I have to admit, I, uh... I wasn't entirely trusting. But it's obvious you just wanted to help, so... I'm sorry. I was wrong about you."

"None taken," I replied with a smile. "Being suspicious is only natural in a world like this."

There was a moment of silence. I wasn't sure what to do.

"Diamond City it is, then." Paladin Danse put on his helmet. "I don't have much time to spare, so we have to make this quick."

"Thanks for going with me," I said honestly. I couldn't express how grateful I was.

Paladin Danse wasn't as sentimental as me - he just hid the transmitter, checked the magazine of his weapon and looked at me as if he wanted me to hurry.

"Just come on," he said in a professional tone. "I know it's not that far, but the road still should take at least half an hour."

I nodded and followed him along the dusty trail that led towards Boston.

I noticed someone lying on the ground near the road. They looked dead, but I couldn't be sure. I looked at Paladin Danse, who paid the body no mind.

"Hey," I called out to him. "Paladin?"

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait until we reach Diamond City." He said in a voice that effectively silenced me. He didn't even look back.

"But..." I protested weakly. I shook my head. I would catch up with him later - checking that body wouldn't take long anyway.

I walked up to the corpse. As I got nearer, I realized that it had been a ghoul - one of those feral ones or the not-feral ones, I didn't know. I realized that I hadn't actually seen a ghoul in their right mind yet.

I knelt down next to the body. It was unclear what had killed it - from what I could see, there wasn't any exterior damage. I tried to roll it over to get a better look at it...

I screamed when suddenly, the ghoul lunged at me!

I fell backwards, the zombie on me. I screamed again, this time in agony, when it bit into my arm! Panicked, I quickly delivered a strong kick into its ugly face, but that wasn't enough to kill it - I only managed to shake it off my body.

I crawled backwards, trying to get as far away from it as I could. My heart was beating so heavily that I was afraid I would get an attack. But the fear also made me stronger, more determined. I kicked again, and this time bought myself enough time to draw my 10mm pistol.

Before I managed to pull the trigger, the ghoul's head exploded into a mass of blood and gore, which splattered all over me. Paladin Danse ran up to me.

"Are you alright?!" He exclaimed.

The state of my mind made it hard for me to join simple facts, but it seemed that he had shot the ghoul. My heart was still beating at an alarming rate. I didn't even want to look at myself, painfully aware that the ghoul's remains were all over me. It wasn't just blood, either... I felt a sudden urge to throw up.

"Oh my God," I breathed in a mouthful of air. I was close to weeping, but my eyes were completely dry. My whole body was shaking. "I almost died."

"Damn ferals..." Paladin Danse knelt down next to me. "Can you walk?"

"I don't know!" I screamed at him. I couldn't cope properly. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the wild, feral eyes of the ghoul, I felt its teeth sinking into my skin. "I almost just died!"

"I don't think that's grammatically correct."

"I don't care!" I exclaimed. The pressure building up in my stomach was growing bigger. I rolled over, found some rock I could lean on and began vomiting. Or at least, I tried to. I only ended up spitting onto the grass and trying to get the bitter taste of blood out of my mouth.

Paladin Danse crouched next to me and put a hand on my shoulder. It was clear he wanted to help, even though he obviously didn't know how to act.

"It's my fault," he said quietly. His voice had a mechanical ring to it, coming from inside the metal helmet. "I should have been more cautious."

"It's... not," I said weakly. Because, honestly, how was it _his_ fault that _I_ hadn't noticed the damned thing was still alive?

"Here. Take this." He handed me a Stimpak. I realized that my arm was bleeding where the ghoul had bitten me - somehow, I hadn't paid attention to that until now.

"Won't _you_ need it?" I was hesitant with accepting the gift. "I thought you three were low on supplies."

"That is correct, but now that we have this transmitter, we should be able to call for backup soon enough. We won't have to worry about it."

I nodded and gratefully took the syringe from him. One injection later, I was feeling much better. The trauma didn't disappear, but at least the physical scars began to heal. I put a hand over my chest - my heartbeat still hadn't steadied.

"Are you ready to move out?" Paladin Danse asked. "If it's not alright-"

"No," I interjected him. "Let's go."

The sky was beginning to brighten when we entered the city. I tried to remember the way to the stadium - I _had_ known it, of course. Nate had loved baseball. I felt a tear in my eye when I thought about the future we had been planning for our son. All that future that never happened... All it takes to destroy a life is some stupid scientist with an atom bomb.

But, as I tried to make heads or tails of the new, post-apocalyptic version of Boston, I realized that I simply didn't know this world anymore. Everything looked different. Even when we passed some place that I knew, it was destroyed or overgrown with wild plants. Massachusetts Turnpike was practically a grass field with only several blocks of concrete that could still be seen. And Fenway Park... Well, Fenway Park was practically a fortress.

"Wow..." I whispered as I took in the sight of the large patchwork wall that divided the street. There were several people walking on the fortification, making it look like a guard post. They were wearing baseball catcher's sets, with 'Diamond City Security' painted on the back. Smart armor. Besides, this place seemed organized.

The best thing was that they let us pass without making a hassle. Definitely not raiders. I already liked this place.

"There it is." Paladin Danse attached his laser rifle to a special holster built into his power armor. "Diamond City. Consider these poor people, hiding inside the safety of that wall, never daring to leave out of _fear_... This is simply miserable."

"It's sad." I looked at the large fortifications around the stadium. If that was the defense they had, it was no wonder no one wanted to leave.

"I couldn't agree more." He fidgeted. "Well, I got you to Diamond City like I promised, so... I should probably get going. I said I'd be back before sunrise, and it's already late beyond that. Scribe Haylen will be worried."

That was my life now. Every time I met someone in the Wasteland, they just left.

"I suppose we won't meet again." I stated matter-of-factually. (I was kind of hoping for him to disagree.)

"I highly doubt it."

There was a moment of silence.

"Well... In that case, thanks for everything." I managed to force a smile. "Take good care of your soldiers."

I turned my back on him and hesitated for a moment. I shook my head - no, I was finally here. I wasn't going to waste time now. I headed for the entrance of the stadium.

"Wait!" Paladin Danse called out after me.

"Huh?" I stopped dead in my tracks and glanced back at him.

"I was meaning to say that I highly doubt that we'll meet again, unless..." He drifted off into silence, as if reconsidering his next words. "The Brotherhood could use someone like you. You're quick-witted and skilled with firearms, and your quick adaptation to new situations makes you someone to be reckoned with." He let the words hang for a while. "I would be more than happy to have you on my side."

"Flatterer." I smirked.

"I'm not complimenting you, it's all simply observation. Believe me - if I make a compliment, you'll know it." He said. "But I have an offer for you... The way I see it, you have two choices now: you can continue to live an uncertain life without a purpose in the Wasteland - or you could pinch in and fight for a worthy cause... My question is this: will you join the Brotherhood of Steel?"

That was... Not only unexpected, but also kind of terrifying. What was the safe answer?

"I'd be honored." The words rolled out of my mouth before I had the chance to stop and think about what I was doing. "Yes, I... Yes."

"The right choice." Paladin Danse put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm only a field officer, so I cannot give you a promotion, but I'm officially granting you the rank of Initiate from now on. This may be only a training rank, but I want you know that in my eyes, you're a full soldier."

"Thank you," I said softly. Despite the grey, decaying state of our surroundings, I felt the sublimity of the situation.

"Thank _you_ , Initiate." He looked down. "I never asked... What were you doing in Cambridge?"

I figured we had been together through enough that being honest couldn't hurt.

"I'm looking for my son," I said. "He's been kidnapped."

Paladin Danse clearly hadn't been expecting that answer.

"In that case..." He drifted off, obviously unsure as to what to say. "I don't think it would be fair of me to ask you to accompany me back to the police station." He cleared his throat and looked up from the ground. He offered me a handshake (funny thing, that armor didn't cover his hands - they were protected only by thick leather gauntlets). "Good luck, sister. _Ad_ _victoriam_."

Latin, huh? I could remember him saying something in that language before...

" _Ad_ _gloriam_ , sir." I replied with a smile. My version was better. More dramatic.

He seemed baffled by that - as if I had done something wrong, but he didn't know how to react.

"It's not... That's..." He stumbled upon his own words. "You haven't... I, ah..." He let out a breath. "This will be one of the matters we'll have to discuss." He shook my hand and took a step back, as if judging me. I strengthened my back. "When you have the time, do check in in the police station. And... fare well, soldier."

"Likewise... sir." I said. I was a soldier now, I was a soldier now...

Paladin Danse walked away and I realized there was one more thing that had been bugging me.

"Hey! Wait!" I called out after him. He stopped and turned around. "One last thing! I need to know!"

I ran up to him.

"What was the password to the terminal?" I asked, panting.

There was a moment of silence.

Paladin Danse took in a deep breath, leaned his head back and gave a short laugh.

I stared at him, not sure what to think of that reaction - I hadn't seen him smile for longer than a fraction of a second, and now he was laughing?

"The password was 'Prydwen'," he said finally.

I nodded. "Okay." I tried to think of something more to say, but nothing came to my mind. That answer did not explain _anything_. I had been hoping that maybe it would make things clearer. It didn't. "Okay... Thanks."

"I need to go," he pointed out and I realized that I was standing in his way. I quickly moved away.

"Sure. I won't be holding you up." I offered him a smile, pretending to be a lot happier than I actually was. It didn't have to bother me that once again, I was left alone - this time I had actually achieved something.

As Paladin Danse walked away in the direction of Cambridge, I realized that that was the truth. I had made it - this was the place where I could finally begin looking for my son. Maybe the past was unreachable, but Shaun... I could still get my baby back. I _would_ get him back.

"Diamond City," I said as I adjusted the collar of my blue jumpsuit, "here I come."

 **Level** **up.**  
 **New Rank: Brotherhood of Steel Initiate -** **you represent the Brotherhood of Steel in the Commonwealth. Take 10% less damage from feral ghouls, super mutants and synths.**  
 **New Perk: Commando - rigorous military training means your submachine and machine guns now do 5% more damage.**


	7. Jewel of the Commonwealth

**Chapter Six  
Jewel of ****the Commonwealth** **  
**

* * *

As I walked nearer to the entrance to the stadium, I found myself wondering whether this was a good idea at all. The sun had already risen, but the gate to the stadium- _the city_ , I corrected myself - was still closed. I thought about how sad (and, in an ironic way, funny) it was that the biggest civilized settlement in the Commonwealth was inside what had been only a concert hall back in my day. Paladin Danse was right - humanity _had_ fallen.

I didn't know how to get inside. Was Diamond City even open for travelers? I decided that it was, because there was an intercom on the wall next to the gate, and there was a young woman talking through it.

I walked up to her, wanting to make the best of the occasion that somebody was going to get the gate open for me.

"-is not fair!" I heard her shout as soon as I got within hearing range. "You've got to let me inside!"

I stopped next to her, not sure what to think.

"I'm sorry, miss Piper, I really am." A tinny voice came from the intercom. "But the mayor was really upset about that article you wrote in the paper, said it's all lies..."

The girl rolled her eyes. "Well of _course_ he would say that."

"...and he said you're not allowed to get inside under any circumstances."

She gaped at the intercom (which looked kind of funny). "Excuse me?! I _live_ here! You can't keep me out!"

She looked around with clear exasperation and finally noticed me standing a few meters away. She broke into a grin.

"Play along," she whispered. "Oh, what's that you say?" She spoke directly into the intercom. "You're a trader up from Quincy?"

"What-" I began, but the girl put a hand over my mouth.

"Wow, you've got enough supplies to keep the general store running for a month?! What a shame the city gate's closed!" She grinned widely. "You... You hear that, Danny? You wouldn't want to miss out on a golden opportunity, right?!"

"Gee. Alright, Piper." The security guard sighed through the intercom. "I'm opening the gate." There was an electronic beep and the red light next to the microphone went out.

Piper took her hand from my face.

"Thanks." She said with a smile that was so friendly it was almost out of place.

"You didn't give me any choice," I pointed out, but I somehow couldn't prevent myself from smiling. "Just give me a moment to accept that somebody just used me in their masterplan to illegally gain entrance to a city they had been banished from."

She laughed.

"I think I'm going to like you." She offered me a handshake. "Piper Wright, head editor and reporter of _Publick_ _Occurences_."

"Nora Smith." I said dryly. I was getting tired of people introducing themselves with their job. Then again, _this_ was good. Not only was there a radio, there was also a newspaper. That had to be good.

"Oh, look." The journalist nodded at the large metal gate as it rose up, finally granting us entrance into Fenway Park. "I think you had better get inside the city before they catch up on the bluff. After all, you're... kinda innocent in this." She laughed. "And it's not like they can do anything to me. Not really."

I sighed. "You already dragged me into this. I might as well stick with you."

"Yes!" She squeed happily. "Thank you!" I looked at her, slightly surprised by the childish reaction. How old was she, anyway? Younger than me, that much was clear. She wore strong makeup, I noticed - to make her appear more mature? At least, that had been what girls used to do back in my time...

Ugh. I mentally slapped myself. I _really_ had to stop thinking in terms of 'back in my time'. It made me feel old.

"Piper!" A middle-aged man dressed in a neat suit was standing just inside, an angry frown on his face. Oops. We were in for it. "What is the meaning of this?!" He looked at the young security guard who had talked with us through the intercom. "I thought I ordered you not to let her in!"

Oh, great. So that man had to be the mayor. My first five minutes in Diamond City and I had already angered the mayor. I glanced at Piper. I really had to choose my allies better - so far my amazing socials skills only got myself shot at on various occasions, nearly dead by falling from height, not to mention that last feral ghoul... I shuddered at the memory. And now I was getting into low-key politics as well. Amazing.

 _Should have watched more movies,_ I thought sarcastically. _Never side with the journalist._

"I'm sorry, Mayor McDonough." The boy was actually ashamed as he looked down at the ground. The oversized baseball outfit made him look even more skinny than he actually was.

"What's the use of your sorries? This woman is not to be let into my city!"

I stepped forward. I couldn't bear him treating the poor boy that way anymore.

"It's not his fault," I said in a steady voice. They looked at me as though they hadn't noticed my existence before - which was kind of rude of them, because I was standing right next to the object of their conversation. "I convinced him to open the gate. I didn't know it was wrong."

The mayor's attitude changed diametrically as he looked at me with a nervous laugh.

"Oh! No, no worries, ma'am. No worries." He gave Piper an angry glare. "Please, don't let the... um, less lawful citizens fool you, Diamond City is an amazing place - the place just right for you, if I may say so."

I wasn't sure what to say to that, so I settled for a diplomatic "Thanks."

Piper snorted, exasperated.

"A great big Diamond City welcome from the mayor," she said sarcastically. "Feel honored yet?"

"Piper." The young security guard - I recalled his name was Danny, though I wasn't clear on how I had learned that -said in a warning tone, but it sounded more like he was afraid _for_ her than _of_ her.

"Oh, no. Don't let me be a bother." The journalist pointed at Mayor McDonough with a finger. "Let me just say, the truth always comes out... Sir."

"Piper," Danny repeated, his tone nearly pleading now. "Let go."

"You are a scourge of this Wasteland, Piper!" The mayor gave her a dark look. "You and the likes of you. Why can't you understand people don't _want_ the truth? They want to be happy. To be safe. That is what Diamond City provides."

"Oh, they _deserve_ the truth!" She exclaimed, offended. "Right, Blue?"

I stirred when she looked at me, clearly expecting an answer. What had she just...? I looked at the two of them, slightly uncomfortable that I had been pulled into this argument.

"Well, I always believed in freedom of the press," I said finally, smiling at the journalist. She gave the mayor a triumphant look.

"Don't think this is over, Miss Wright." He took a step forward - in our direction. "If you step out of the line again..."

"What's that?" Piper leaned in to me theatrically. "Sure thing, Blue. I'll show you around." She grabbed my arm and gave it a friendly tug. "Diamond City is an amazing place, I'm sure you'll love it!"

"Wait, what-" I began, but she elbowed me. "Ouch! What is _wrong_ with you?"

"Terribly sorry, Mayor, but it seems my new friend here needs to go to the doctor's. I had better show her the way." She gave him a charming smile. "But I'm sure we can finish our fascinating conversation sometime later."

She pulled me deeper into the stadium, passing the angry mayor and confused security guard.

She gave a sigh of relief once they were out of earshot.

"Thanks, Blue. You're a lifesaver."

"No problem..." I answered absently, looking around the stadium in wonder.

People had built entire houses in there - lots and lots of them, even with actual streets. There was even a sort of market with several stalls standing around. So what if the buildings were all made of rusty metal and wood? This was the most civilized thing I had seen in the Wasteland so far.

Piper noticed me looking around.

"The great green jewel of the Commonwealth, huh?" She intoned, then huffed. "More like a giant on clay feet. Looks amazing and all, but only on the surface."

"Why do you hate this place so much?" I asked, confused. "I thought you live here."

She led me down the stairs to the pitch - which was now the market and most streets. I tried to take in as much as I could. Was this what life was like now?

"Look, I understand you're from a Vault so you can't get it, but life in the Wasteland isn't all about choosing whatever's most comfortable." Piper stopped by a lamppost. I looked at it, surprised that I hadn't noticed it earlier - there were even lampposts in here. So they even had electricity!

"I'm not actually from a Vault..." I began, but drifted off when I caught sight of something going on in the market. There was a small crowd gathering around something.

"Oh no." Piper quickly walked over to where everyone was. I didn't know what else to do, so I followed her.

I pushed my way through the crowd to get to the front and see what was happening. Two men were arguing, and one of them was threatening the other with a gun. That alarmed me, but I slightly relaxed when I noticed that no one else was bothered by that fact. Of course, nowadays no one left their house without a gun - to them, it was completely normal. Even if the argument was rather heated.

"Come on! I'm... I'm your brother!" One of the men raised his arms in a defensive way. The other - the one with the gun narrowed his brows.

"Of course you would say that!" He exclaimed. "Then why don't you prove it somehow?!"

"Please-" The younger brother sounded like he was about to cry. "I'm not a synth!"

I remembered what Paladin Danse had said about synths. How they resembled human beings so closely they were practically identical.

I took a step forward, but someone grabbed my arm. I looked up at the journalist, slightly surprised.

"Come on," she said seriously. "You don't want to see this."

I shook my arm free from her grasp.

"I-" I began, but was cut off by the single gunshot that filled the air. I turned around in a matter of seconds, but the young man was already lying on the ground, dead.

I took a step back, shocked at how quickly it had ended. Everyone began murmuring among themselves, but the crowd was quickly scattered by several security guards.

I let Piper drag me away from the market. She seemed more tired than anything.

"Like I said, welcome to Diamond City." She muttered in a sarcastic way. "Where you need to trust nobody but yourself because suspicion can save you the trouble."

"Wait," I stared at her in shock. "Something like this has happened before?"

"Something like this happens _all_ _the_ _time_ ," she explained. "Usually doesn't end in fratricide. Thankfully. The last thing humanity needs is people jumping to each other's throats at every occasion." She looked at the ground angrily. "It's bad enough as it is."

"It's not what I had expected," I admitted. "But it can't be that bad. You've got electricity and running water, and the protection of the wall... It's the best place I've seen in the Commonwealth."

"It _is_ the best place in the Commonwealth," she gave a bitter laugh. "That's the worst part of it."

I adjusted the strap of my sackpack on my shoulder. I had to admit I was a bit tired - I had spent the whole night roaming around old ruins with Paladin Danse, and now my body was in a desperate need for some rest. But most important of all, this was an actual city - I could finally begin to somehow fit in in this world.

"What's there to do in Diamond City?" I asked. "Is there some job... Like... an easy way to earn a lot of money in a short time?"

Piper laughed.

"You sound desperate," she noticed. "Short on money?"

"You have no idea. I'm _completely lost_. I don't even know what I'm looking for." I clicked my tongue. "Well, technically I know. I heard there's a detective agency in Diamond City that might help me. You know where that is?"

"Valentine Detective Agency is the place you're looking for, as far as I'm concerned. Since it's the only detective agency in the Commonwealth, it's kinda hard to mistake it for something else." Piper looked around. "Listen, I know it's probably none of my concern, but... You really look lost. And, to be completely honest, not everyone is as nice as me - you're gonna get taken advantage of soon if you continue to be this trusting."

"Thank you," I said. I took those words for heartfelt advice. "I'll keep it in mind."

She arched an eyebrow at me.

"Do you know how long you're staying here in Diamond City?" She asked.

"Probably not longer than a few days..." I shrugged. "I have no idea. I'll probably find some source of income and rent a room at a hotel or... I don't know. I need enough money to pay for hiring a private detective. I need a job."

Piper gave a heavy sigh.

"You're not fit for the kind of work you can find here. You'd be exhausted, physically and emotionally after the first hour. And no way am I letting you rent a room at the Dugout Inn. Trust me, you wouldn't want to. You're staying at my place."

"Oh." I didn't know how to reply. She didn't even know me and yet she was so eager to help... That kind of people was rare even back in my time - now, in such cruel times, it seemed even more impossible to be nice to each other. "Thanks." Then, after second thoughts, I added "Are you sure it won't be a bother?"

"It's fine. There's loads of space, and I only live with Nat."

"With who?" I repeated, still kind of surprised by this act of kindness.

"Nat. Natalie Wright," she explained. "My little sister."

"Oh." I repeated. For some reason, I hadn't even thought that the people here have families too. I had been so focused on reuniting myself with my own that I hadn't even considered anyone else. This girl didn't have to look out only for herself, but also for a younger sibling... She hadn't mentioned any parents, but that didn't surprise me nearly as much as it would have before the War. Death was just a painful truth I, like everyone else, had to be aware of. There wasn't anything I could do to change it.

"Come on." Piper offered me a friendly smile which I tried to return. "Uh... I know how this is gonna sound, but would you mind if I maybe interviewed you for my newspaper? I've had this idea for an article for a while now, and you might just be the perfect person for it."

"Well... Sure." I was surprised for a moment, but then I reminded myself that with how scattered humanity was nowadays, it shouldn't surprise me that outsiders were a rare thing.

"Great. You're Gold, Blue."

At that point, I was pretty sure she had some kind of obsession with colors.

We walked back up the main street, almost to the city gates. I figured Piper's house had to be the last one on the right (or the first one on the left, depending how you looked at it) because it had a large neon which clearly said 'Publick Occurences". Of course, she worked at the newspaper - that made sense.

"Piper!" An overjoyed female voice called out and not much later than a second later, my new friend was tackled by a young girl - maybe thirteen years old. Piper happily embraced her little sister, raising her a few feet above the ground.

"There you are, sweetie." She laughed. "Almost thought I wouldn't find you."

The younger girl crossed her arms with a pout.

"Funny. I recall _you_ were the one who went outside the wall and left me with all the sales to manage. To your knowledge, I sold a whole hundred issues in just two days. You _owe_ me."

"Gee, Nats." The journalist laughed nervously as she put her sister on the ground. "Fine, you win. You have to embarrass me in front of a stranger?"

Nat looked at me judgmentally.

"Hi." I smiled and waved at her. "My name is Nora. Your sister said I could stay at your place for a few days."

"Well, she's not in charge," she shrugged. "I believe in democracy."

"Democracy won't work with just two people," I noticed. "Every time you disagree, you'll just get equal votes amount."

"She's smart, I'll give her that." Nat nodded her head. I felt silly being judged like that by a little kid, but I had to adjust to the fact that this was how the world worked now. Children had to grow up more quickly in order to survive.

She realized that I was still waiting for her to say something. "Fine, you can stay." She laughed. "I wouldn't have any problem with that anyway. At least Piper doesn't bring in any boys. Yuck."

I laughed. That reminded me of myself back when I had been her age. So maybe not that much had changed - kids will be kids.

Piper winced.

"I'm starving," she said, then looked at me. "I don't suppose you have any food?"

"She'd be lost without me." Nat rolled her eyes and pushed a small pouch into her sister's hand. "Yesterday's incomes," she explained. "Should be enough for lunch for three people and some to spare."

"It's fine, I'm set." I said. "If you're fine with two hundred years old canned food, that is."

"The pre-War ones are the best," Piper said, then looked at me. "...Which _you_ probably don't know yet, Blue."

"Stop calling me 'Blue'. I have a name, you know." I put a hand to my forehead. " _Why_ are you even calling me that?"

" _Because_ you're a Vault Dweller?" She answered as if that was supposed to be obvious. "The blue jumpsuit may even be a coincidence, but the Pip-Boy and that fish-out-of-water look?" She laughed. "Dead giveaways."

"It _is_ this stupid jumpsuit," I groaned. "How many times do I have to say that I'm not from a Vault?"

"My reporter's instinct tells me otherwise."

She was right, in a sense. But she couldn't possibly know just how complicated the truth actually was... I grinned widely.

"You said you were looking for a story?" I asked. "I've got a better one. Story of the century. Of the millennium."

Piper looked at me suspiciously, but there was a glimmer of excitement in her eyes. She opened the door and motioned for me to go inside the house.

"Go on..." She said. "Surprise me."

"Fine." I looked around the room I found myself in, only to decide that it was absolutely cramped. "You might wanna sit down, though."

"Alright." She took the place on one side of the small desk which stood in the middle of the room. I sat down across her. "Shoot."

"You're not wrong when you say I'm from a Vault. I _did_ live in a Vault. But I only spent there a few hours. Well, at least that's what I thought. Then when I left the Vault, it turned out I had been there for a little bit longer than I thought." I gave an amused huff. "Like... two hundred years longer."

Piper dropped the cigarette she had been intending to light.

"Holy shit," she whispered. I got a strong feeling of enjoyment just looking at the disbelief painted all over her face. "No."

"Yes." I smirked.

She stared at me.

"But that... That changes everything!" She reached into the inner pocket of her red duster coat and pulled out a small notepad. Then opened the drawer of the desk and produced a pen. "Tell me everything!" She exclaimed, excitement shining in her eyes.

"Whoa... Hey." I laughed at her eagerness. "I'll tell you everything, okay? Just hold your horses a bit. One at a time."

"The war," she decided immediately. "Tell me about the war."

"I'm not sure there's a lot to say. It was... cold war, mostly. You didn't _feel_ that there was an actual conflict going on." I thought about Anchorage. "Well, most of the time at least. Though I suppose that the end was much worse than what anyone had feared."

"No, but... Those aren't the things I need." Piper looked me straight in the eyes. "We don't understand it. We, people nowadays. What was it _about_?"

"...War?" I asked carefully. What was I supposed to say? That it was _pointless?_ That so many had died because the leader of one country had a problem with the leader of another? No way was I telling those poor people something like that. "It was..." I hesitated. "It was about protecting democracy. The American way of life. Because it was threatened."

Piper scribbled something in her notebook with a frown.

"Protecting a way of life," she repeated and shook her head. "It was that important?"

I could see it in her eyes that she desperately wanted it to matter.

"It was," I said firmly. "It still is. Freedom is always worth fighting for."

"So. A survivor of the War," the reported said to herself. "She survived the end of the world. But how?" She turned to me. "How _did_ you survive, Blue?"

"Vault 111," I explained. "Turns out the whole place was some kind of a social experiment, monitoring the human behavior after a prolonged cryogenic stasis. So... As you've probably guessed, we were frozen all that time. I only thawed out recently and..." I stopped mid-sentence and put a hand over my mouth when I remembered those terrible first moments after waking up. "Everyone else is just... They're dead, all of them."

"The sole survivor," Piper muttered quietly. "Might even use that as a headline."

"No," I shook my head. "I wasn't the only one. There's another - my son, Shaun. But he's only one year old."

"Where... is he?" Piper looked around, almost as though expecting to find a baby somewhere.

"Well, that's the reason I came to Diamond City in the first place. He's been kidnapped - by the same people who murdered my husband. But I'm trying to find him."

Piper nodded her head sympathetically.

"A lone mother searching for her son," she said. "The tragedy of daily life in the Commonwealth. Most would just give up... Can you tell me, for the article, what keeps you going in this hard situation?"

I almost didn't register her question, fixated on the words that followed it.

"Hold on." I opened and closed my mouth for a moment, unable to make a sound. "People _ignore_ kidnappings out here?"

Piper sighed.

"You never know what happened. Maybe it's raiders and your loved one is gone, maybe it's slavers and they're being treated worse than animals at the moment, or maybe it's the Institute... Sometimes it feels like it's better not to know."

"That's terrible," I decided.

"That's what life is like in the Commonwealth."

"Well, not gonna happen to me. I promised I would get my son back and I'm not intent on breaking that promise. Come what may, I'll fight the odds."

She offered me a sad smile.

"You know... There's something inspiring in you." She cleared her throat. "Now, this is something new, but I want you to make a statement to Diamond City directly. What would you say to someone who's lost a loved one and is afraid of looking for them?"

"I would..." For the first time during our conversation, I realized my words were going to be printed in a newspaper. People would read that. I took in a deep breath, and slowly exhaled. "Whoever you are, whatever the situation... Never lose hope. _Never_. Take it day by day, try to live on. That's pretty much the only thing you can do."

Piper closed her notebook.

"Nothing more true than that," she said seriously. Then, she noticed the way I was staring at the desk sadly. "Hey. Cheer up, Blue. You're looking... well, blue." She laughed at her own joke. I cracked a smile as well. "Tell you what." Piper stood up and practically pulled me up from the chair. "Nick Valentine, the detective, is a friend of mine. Maybe I can convince him to give you a discount or something."

"Didn't you say he was out of town?" I raised an eyebrow doubtfully.

"Well, so was I for a few days. Maybe he came back and I don't know yet." She gave me a bright smile. "You said it yourself, you have to live on."

"Yeah." I smiled. "You're right, Piper. Let's go."

She held the door shut.

"Oh no. Sorry, Blue, but you probably misunderstood me. I didn't say 'let's go _right away_ '. I'm not letting you out while you still look like a hopeless Vault Dweller. And don't even let me begin on that thing on your shoulders. Is _that_ a backpack?"

"It's my sackpack," I said, then realized that she couldn't know the word I had made up. "A backpack I've made from a sack."

She looked like she was convinced I was a lost cause. "Heavens, Blue. You're even more hopeless than I thought."

I crossed my arms on my chest defensively. She eyed me from head to toe.

"Huh," she said. "You look about my size, don't you?"

Not more than ten minutes later, I was dressed in strengthened denim trousers, a surprisingly comfortable grey shirt and a thick leather jacket. I knew that nowadays clothes had to be as much useful as they had to look good, so I figured this wasn't nearly as bad as it could be. Piper didn't have a spare backpack, so much to her despair I had to keep my old sackpack. Which was fine by me, since I was still proud of myself for crafting it.

"Righty-o. You look like people, even if you're still wearing that Pip-Boy and the however-you-called-that. You'll do."

I gave an exaggerated bow.

"Why thank you, lady Wright. If it were not for your kind help, I would not have found myself such fine garments." I laughed. "Seriously though, thanks. I've no idea how to repay you."

Piper absently tapped her notepad against the desk.

"The interview was more than enough, trust me. People will kill to buy an issue of the _Publick_ once word about you is out." She gave a nostalgic smile. "Tell you what though, we can arrange for another meeting and you can tell me what normal daily life was life way back when. I'm sure everyone would want to learn about that."

I nodded hesitantly. I wasn't entirely sure about that - being vague was fine, but I wasn't sure I would bear describing what my old life had been like and knowing there was no way to return to it.

"By the way, Blue." Piper opened the door, shouted to Nat that she was leaving and held it open for me to walk through. "Forget all about canned food. I'm treating you to the real Wasteland special."

It turned out that she was talking about noodles. There was a noodle stall in the middle of the Diamond City market, ran by a reprogrammed Protectron robot. It had been reprogrammed to make noodles, apparently.

"Actually," I said, trying to figure out how to use the chopsticks I had received along with the bowl of food, "this isn't that bad. For something that's been made in the Wasteland."

"Told ya." Piper grinned at me from over the table. "Good food."

After we finished eating, she showed me around the town - which was a rather futile process, because I got lost in that whole maze of alleys and lanes after taking the second turn. The highlights of my tour of the city were the mayor's office, where Piper did _not_ want to go, the Diamond City Radio headquarters (just a boxcar with a door) and finally the Valentine Detective Agency. The neon signs for the latter were all over the three or four surrounding streets - a cliché picture of a heart with an arrow in it. Valentine Detective Agency. The signs looked kind of cheesy - I found that endearing.

"So you said this guy, Valentine, runs the business by himself?" I asked my reporter friend. She nodded.

"Kinda, yeah. Not easy to find a private detective in the Wasteland, even harder in the Commonwealth. I've told you, people don't usually want to get into any kind of trouble." She nodded at the door. "So?"

"Yeah, let's go." I nodded and knocked as loudly as I could without sounding desperate.

"Come inside!" A female voice called out from inside of the building. Me and Piper exchanged glances, but I opened the door and we walked inside.

The room was even messier than Piper's office - and that was saying something.

Papers were lying all over the place. On the desk, on the cabinets... Thankfully not on the floor. There was a young woman, at a guess older than Piper but younger than me, nervously pacing around the room.

"Sorry, we're not open for business at the moment," she said as soon as we entered the room.

"Are you sure?" I asked. She looked up at us, slightly surprised.

"Oh, hi Piper. Listen, I'd love to help, but as of now, there's not much I can do."

"You're the detective agency?" I asked. "You're supposed to help. I'm looking for a missing person."

She sat down on a chair and put a hand to her forehead. "I'm sorry, Piper. And you are...?"

"Nora." I introduced myself quietly. The girl looked rather heartbroken.

"Hey." Piper put a hand on her shoulder. "It's fine, Ellie. She's looking for her kid. You _could_ help out."

"I'm not a private detective." Ellie shrugged. "I just run the office. Keep the paperwork in check. You know Nick hasn't come back for a while, right?"

"I noticed," Piper nodded. "Has something happened?"

"I don't know. But I think so. Like two weeks ago, we got this case." She took out a file case and put on the desk for us to see. "Just your regular kidnapping - a girl got snatched away by a couple of gangsters, concerned parents come calling in. So Nick accepted the case, obviously, and being himself, he didn't even consider asking for someone's help and just went straight for it... Since he hasn't been back for a fortnight by now, I don't think it all went well."

"Great," I muttered under my breath. "Do you think something happened to him?"

"Oh, you don't know Nick Valentine, Blue." Piper laughed quietly. "He's not that easy to bring down."

"If he hasn't come back in _two weeks_ don't you reckon he's in trouble?" I raised an eyebrow at Ellie. "I don't know, I would have reported this or..." I drifted off when I reminded myself that this wasn't the United States of America. This was the Commonwealth. There wasn't anywhere you could just report a missing person - there was only a private detective, a whole one of them. And oh irony, he was missing.

"If you think I should go look for him, you clearly haven't read enough spy novels," she parred.

"Yeah," Piper chimed in. "That's your key to disaster: one person gets in trouble, another one tries to save them and as a result the third person has to save two people."

"This isn't some kind of book," I said in a flat voice. I sighed. "Fine. I'll try to find him."

"I didn't say that I wanted you to," Ellie protested.

"But you thought it," I gave her a charming smile. She looked down, a pink blush on her pale cheeks.

"Alright." Ellie put her hands on the desk in a businesslike gesture. "If you bring Nick back here alive, I'm even willing to pay you for that trouble."

"What?" I laughed. "No no, I'm not taking any money from you. I just want you guys to look into my case."

"You mentioned a missing kid?" Ellie's frown softened. "I'm sorry to hear that. Seems no one is safe nowadays. Okay." She took in a deep breath. "Okay. Here's the file for that case Nick was investigating." She pushed the folder into my hands. I opened it reluctantly, not very eager on feeding my brain with tons of unnecessary details.

"Can't you tell me something more concrete?" I asked. "Where did you last see your boss?"

"Here in the agency, of course. Nick mentioned he was going to look around Park Street station - apparently, there was some kind of fallout shelter or something there. He didn't mention what he was hoping to find, though."

"Of course he wouldn't." Piper put a hand to her forehead. "Well, thanks for everything, Ellie. Come on, Blue."

She opened the door and looked at me suggestively.

"We're going already?" I asked, surprised. "It's barely noon."

"And you've still got a detective to rescue." Piper practically dragged me outside, then gave Ellie a reassuring smile. "Don't worry. We'll find him."

She closed the door behind me the instant I was outside.

"Alright, Blue. Here's the deal: getting old Valentine out of whatever he's gotten himself into is as much of my concern as it is yours. So whatever your opinion on this may be, I'm only letting you leave this city if you let me come with you." She crossed her arms on her chest.

"How old are you, Piper?" I asked quietly. She seemed surprised by that question.

"Twenty-two, twenty-three? I don't have the time to keep count of something like that."

"Alright then, so you're a fully responsible adult. Fine. Now, how old is your sister?" I tried not to make it sound criticizing. Piper opened her mouth to answer, but closed it almost immediately. She looked down at the ground without a word. "If something happened to you, Nat would be left alone."

"She can take care of herself..." Piper said, but it sounded as though she was excusing herself. "Jeez, Blue. You know how to make a point."

"I lost my son. I don't want to see any other kid put in harm's way." I blinked to get rid of the tears that were building up in my eyes. I shook my head. "Okay, Park Street station. At least this time it's something concrete. I wonder..." I brought up the map on my Pip-Boy, praying for it to be true. "Wow. Yes!" I smiled widely. I hadn't been expecting this.

"What wow?" Piper tried to look over my shoulder to get a look at the screen. "What is it?"

"This thing here has a map with built-in GPS," I explained, showing her the Pip-Boy. "And you won't guess what, Park Street station is actually one of the places marked on it. I can just launch the navigation and we're home." I laughed. "Thank the Wasteland for the small favors when you get them."

Piper arched an eyebrow with a friendly smile.

"You sure you don't want me with you on this?" She asked. "I'm being serious, Nat can take care of herself for a few hours."

"I'm not taking responsibility for anyone else if I'm not sure I can keep _myself_ alive. Maybe we can travel together when I feel more secure about my ability to survive."

"Fine." She shrugged. "I'll just walk you to the gate, I guess."

I yawned, then quickly covered my mouth. I blushed deeply.

"On second thoughts though, maybe I could use some shuteye before I go."

"That's better," Piper patted me on the back with a small laugh. "Now you're beginning to actually look out for yourself. The first step to surviving in the Commonwealth."

I couldn't tell if she was being serious or sarcastic, so I didn't answer.

It turned out that Piper and Nat only had one queen sized bed to share at their home, and I couldn't sleep on the couch because the couch was currently used as a shelf for some cardboard boxes, so I would have to actually use that. I was overjoyed, even though I tried not to show how desperate I felt. A real bed! Finally.

When I went to sleep, it was noon. I woke up at three, feeling much better now that I had had a decent meal, a good night's (or rather, day's) rest, and perhaps most important of all, I had found a friend. Also, I knew what to do. I had to find this private detective, Nick Valentine, or find out what happened to him (though I was hoping he was still alive. That would make matters easier for everyone), and then get him to help me look for Shaun.

I said goodbye to Piper and Nat, yet again giving the former my most sincere thanks for everything she had given me, and eventually just left Diamond City. It was a strange feeling, walking out of there so soon after arriving. With how high my expectations and hopes for this place had been, it felt just wrong to leave so soon. Still, I knew that I wouldn't get any closer to finding Shaun if I continued to idly sit by and watch.

I glanced at my Pip-Boy to confirm I was going the right way. The station was relatively close, nothing like the distance me and Paladin Danse had had to cover between Cambridge and Boston. If Nick Valentine was still there, the whole thing shouldn't take me to long.

I cried out when I felt something sharp impale itself in my back. I staggered forwards, surprised by this attack. What the hell?! I had barely just left the city and I was already being attacked by someone?

I turned around, but couldn't see anybody. With a terrible feeling of dread, I reached to my back and found something sticking out of the thick material of Piper's leather jacket. It hadn't penetrated, and I was eternally grateful to the journalist for having given me the clothes. I took the object into my hand and took a look at it.

I felt weak. It was an arrow bolt. Not even an arrow - an arrow _bolt_. Which meant there was somebody with a crossbow somewhere around here...

Pushed by instinct, I ducked just in time to see another bolt fly over my head. My eyes widened.

"Does everything in this cursed Wasteland want to kill me?!" I screamed. My patience was wearing seriously thin. _Just when I was beginning to think things were finally going well._

"I hate this world," I muttered and decided to just leg it. If I couldn't see my opponent, what use was there in fighting?

I sprinted for the next several hundred meters, then reverted to just a simple jog. The person with the crossbow either didn't want to kill me badly enough to bother themselves with a chase or, the possibility which I didn't like as much, followed me silently.

I looked around. Boston was pretty much a wreck nowadays - but then again, everything in the Wasteland was. The city area was actually in quite a good state compared to the suburbs - many of the buildings here were still actually _standing_.

I sighed, for the first time regretting that I hadn't let Piper come with me. I was getting lonely already. I really shouldn't stay alone for too long - bad things happened to me in the Commonwealth while I was alone. Alas, bad things happened to me while I was with people too, but it was easier to bear then.

I continued on much more warily, now that I had been reminded that the Wasteland, and everything that dwelled in it, hated me wholeheartedly. The slow run was actually paying off more than the quick walk I had been using before. Jogging would be my choice of transport from then on - because as far as I was aware, cars weren't an option anymore. I hadn't seen a single working one through all my journeys across the Commonwealth.

"What the heck?" I muttered to myself when the buildings began to thin out and I obviously entered a suburban area of Boston. I glanced at my Pip-Boy, but the compass insisted that I should continue on forwards. That was strange - I had been expecting the train station to be in the city... There was, of course, the question of whether I trusted that technology to guide me properly to my destination, but I decided to give the Pip-Boy the benefit of the doubt for now. It seemed to be the most impressive thing I owned. Sturges had said so, then later Paladin Danse. Pip-Boys were rare, useful and, as Paladin Danse had put it, 'inspiring'. I trusted it.

"I don't trust it," I decided aloud after another thirty minutes of walking forward without any train station in sight. I had practically left Boston by then and I still haven't reached wherever the Pip-Boy's guide system was leading me.

I angrily brought up the map, but the name Park Street Station was still highlighted. I furrowed my brows. Then how come... _What?!_ Park Street Station was the highlighted location on the map, yes... But it wasn't my destination.

"What?!" I hissed, this time aloud. I was sure I hadn't chosen that place, whatever it was, at any point... Then how was it that I was now going there?

I tried to look around the Pip-Boy for answers - and found one soon enough, in the form of a hastily-written text file. I was not only suspicious, but also surprised, because I hadn't let anyone near the Pip-Boy...

Hold on. I had. Even more so, I had only let _one_ person use the Pip-Boy, so it wasn't much of a guess who was to blame. "Of course." I put a hand to my face. I could really be stupid sometimes.

I opened the text file.

 _i hope you forgive me_

I stopped reading to laugh quietly. Alright, he had expected my reaction. One point for the Brotherhood of Steel.

 _for using your kindness like this but after you told me about recon squad athena i_ _couldnt_ _help the feeling that the case_ _isnt_ _closed yet. this is just a guess, but you could check the place_ _ive_ _marked on your map. thank you again and i hope its worth your trouble_  
 _paladin danse_  
 _ps: im ready to compensate for any trouble you encounter_

I wasn't sure what bothered me more - that he hadn't used punctuation or that he had obviously set me up for something. And, as I glanced at the map, I angrily realized that I was actually closer to the place Paladin Danse had chosen for me than I was to Park Street station.

"Fine," I muttered. I took my hunting rifle into my hands and quickened my pace a bit. Now I had two things to cover in one day, but I wasn't going to let that bring me down. Helping out others first, then helping myself. (Then again, helping myself this time included rescuing a third party, so it kind of counted as helping out others too.) "You win."

Half an hour later, I was standing in front of a closed door. It was a bunker. Of course it was - it fit into the pattern. And if Paladin Danse was right, this would also be the final resting place of Paladin Brandis.

Except the metal door that led inside the bunker was closed - and even more so, didn't have any convenient lock I could just pick. There was no handle, either. Remote controlled, I estimated. So there had to be a way to get it open.

My eyes caught sight of a terminal planted on the wall nearby. Bingo. I turned it on and waited until the screen lit up in a pale green color and the computer demanded a password from me. This time I was prepared - I had heard the soldiers talking on the holotapes, after all. _The code will be our_ _callsign_ _._

I grinned - it worked! I quickly pressed 'disengage security lockdown' and just lightly pushed the door. It swung open without any trouble.

"Nice," I said to myself before walking inside.

I froze when I saw an old man aiming a laser weapon at me.

"Don't take another step-" he warned me in a shaky voice "-or I swear I'll blow your head off!"

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. _That escalated quickly._

I narrowed my brows - I had to think fast. The man was sixty years old at best, though the wild grey beard made him look even older. But the important thing was that he was wearing a dark grey jumpsuit - except for color identical to the orange one I knew as the uniform of the Brotherhood of Steel.

"Paladin Brandis?" I asked, shocked.

He nervously pointed the hull of his weapon straight at my face. Wow, he was even more jumpy than Paladin Danse. I was just hoping he wouldn't shoot me.

"How the hell do you know who I am?!" He exclaimed. "Who... Who sent you?!"

I tried a diplomatic approach. I raised my arms to show that I was unarmed.

"Easy, Paladin," I said. "I'm with the Brotherhood. Just lower your weapon... And we can talk. Like civilized people."

"No, no..." He muttered to himself. "The Brotherhood? They wouldn't send you..." He eyes me suspiciously. "Or would they?"

"They _did_ ," I replied. Technically, that wasn't entirely true, but I wasn't about to say that to someone who was pointing a weapon at me. "I'm Initiate Nora Smith." _Not a lie. Keep it up, Nora._ "I've been investigating the story of your squad for the last two days. The trail lead me here, to you." _That_ wasn't true - if it weren't for Paladin Danse, I would never have found this place.

Paladin Brandis seemed to be finally convinced by that, because he lowered his laser rifle, although he didn't turn the safety on.

"The others... What happened to them?!" He demanded. I carefully took a step in his direction. This man was emotionally unstable - I didn't want to make this harder than it already was.

"They're dead, sir. I can..." I reached into my pocket to pull out the soldiers' dogtags, but I found nothing. Of course, because I had already given them to Paladin Danse. And now I didn't have anything I could give him, nothing left from his soldiers. He deserved something, but what could I offer him now? Nothing. Except...

I quickly searched my Pip-Boy for the appropriate file and played it without thinking.

 _"Knight Tara_ _Astlin_ _,_ _Brotherhood of Steel Recon Team 429-Alpha. I_ _t's been three hours since I set my distress pulser. There's been no word from the Paladin or_ _Faris..."_

oooOOO***OOOooo

"Thank you," I said quietly, taking the cup of tea Paladin Brandis had offered me. I knew I didn't have the time for that, but he still didn't seem entirely stable and I didn't want to get on his bad side. The tea itself was actually quite good, even if I didn't want to know what it was actually made of.

"No no, no need to thank me, child." I slowly exhaled, ignoring how annoyed I was by the fact that he had called me 'child'. "I'm the one who should thank you. You've sacrificed so much time on this... I owe you something."

"Yes..." I set down my tea on the table. "About that... It's been three years, Paladin. I think it's about time you returned to the Brotherhood."

"What?" He laughed nervously. "Oh no. No, no. I'm old... They wouldn't want me."

"They would," I assured him. "Believe me. You're a veteran, you've survived in the Commonwealth for _years_ , all on your own. Your knowledge will be useful for the Brotherhood of Steel. Besides," I added pointedly, "if you don't fight, the sacrifice of your squad will be in vain. They will have died for nothing."

"No... I can't let that happen..." He clenched his fists. "You're right, Initiate. I just need to pack my things... I'm coming back."

I nodded my head.

"Glad to have made that clear, sir." I stood up. "Do you need me to escort you to...?"

"No, no." He waved a hand at that. "I may be old, but I'm not helpless. I can still find my way around."

I nodded and mentally ran over my to-do list: find Paladin Brandis and convince him to return to the Brotherhood of Steel, check. Now just had to run this over to Cambridge Police Station and have a little word with Paladin Danse on how he should ask me for permission before setting me up for some kind of rescue mission. Then, get to the actual Park Street station, find out what had happened to Nick Valentine and if necessary, rescue him. Persuade him to help me look for Shaun. I didn't have any plans for what to do _after_ I find my son, but I supposed that would become clear once I did.

I took a look around Paladin Brandis's hideout. I had to admit that the old soldier had made himself quite a cozy base in this old military bunker - he had running water, some food, a bed... And the amount of weapons and technology he had gathered was just impressive.

"Ah," he said as he noticed me looking around. "You see, this is all going to get cataloged as soon as we tell the Brotherhood of my situation. But it's not fair that Scribes should have all the fun... If you see anything you like, just take it."

I smiled.

"Thanks," I said honestly and immediately lay my eyes on the large military rucksack in the corner. I was hesitant to part with my sackpack, but I had to face the facts: not only did it look unprofessional, it was neither sturdy nor capacious.

I took the backpack into my hands - strengthened, of course. Like nearly everything in the Wasteland. But, in contrary to most things in the Wasteland, this rucksack was actually nice to look at - it was dark blue in color, with the symbol of a sword over three gears embroidered on top. I ran my thumb over it, feeling the structure of the material.

 _I wonder if that's the logo of the Brotherhood of Steel._

I quickly packed everything I owned - which, I had to admit, wasn't much - into the backpack, grabbed several ammo clips for my automatic laser pistol and threw them inside as well, and... And then I saw _it_ \- a beautiful, rust-colored combat armor chest piece, with the same symbol painted in the middle.

By now I knew how important armor, or at least protective clothing, was in the Wasteland - and this seemed more than convenient. It was even pretty - for armor, that is. The only thing that worried me was its weight - something like that was surely designed for someone stronger than a five foot six woman.

I tried picking it up - and let out a surprised gasp when I realized that I actually _could_. The material used to create the armor wasn't any sort of metal I knew - it seemed sturdy, but lacked the heaviness or roughness of steel. To the touch, it felt like some kind of polymer.

"I'm taking this," I decided immediately.

Strapping the chest piece onto myself proved a bit harder than I had expected, so it was another ten minutes until I finally left the bunker. When I did though, the comforting weight of my new military backpack on my back and the strange feeling of something protecting my chest were only reminders of how useful the small derail had been. Darn it, now I felt like I had to thank Paladin Danse. Not only had I rescued Brandis (although in all honesty he hadn't required much saving), I had also acquired some much-needed supplies. I remembered the police station, where the three soldiers had set up their camp. If I went there now, I would get my own assignment of supplies now that I was a member of the Brotherhood. Besides, I sort of had to report this all to Paladin Danse anyway.

I looked at my map - Park Street station and Cambridge Police Station weren't that far away from each other... But they wer far from where I was - Recon Bunker Theta, as my Pip-Boy had cataloged the place. I glanced at the time - it was half past three. I had spent the better part of the day in Diamond City anyway, but now I had to choose where to head first...

I shook my head. _Every day I spend procrastinating is a day Shaun has to spend with those bastards who kidnapped him._

I set off in the direction of Boston, my decision made. I was done with being an errand girl - time to do something for myself. Private detective or not, there was a man out there who needed my help.

I was going to provide it.

 **Level up.**  
 **New perk: Armorer - protect yourself from the dangers of the Wasteland with access to armor and power armor modifications.**


	8. Unlikely Valentine

**Chapter Seven  
** **Unlikely Valentine**

* * *

I pressed myself against the wall, my breathing heavy, as a shower of bullets banged against the wall on the opposite side of the staircase I was standing on.

 _This is bad._

It turned out that the whole of Park Street Station was overrun by mafia at the moment. I didn't even feel surprised anymore - gangsters were just another danger the Wasteland had decided to throw against me that day.

I once again regretted going alone. It wasn't just the fact that help in combat would be good - I just had this terrible feeling of loneliness. After this, I promised myself, I wouldn't go anywhere on my own. Friends had always been an important part of my life, even if now all of them were gone... There was nothing wrong with making new friends, though. In fact, it seemed like a pretty sensible idea from where I was standing.

And I was standing by a wall in a subway station, with at least twenty gangsters who were currently trying to kill me. Not the best situation.

I gripped my laser pistol tightly and dared to peek out of my cover for a moment. There were three of the mafiosos relatively nearby, hiding behind pillars that supported the ceiling. Another two were backing them up from the other side of the railway. Five men armed with heavy assault rifles against the lone me. I only had the perk of my clothing being at least a bit protective - they were dressed in smart suits.

 _How cliché_ , I thought to myself with mild amusement. I retreated back behind the corner when they started shooting again.

"Go on, waste your ammo!" I shouted. "Not that I mind!"

I closed my eyes when, slowly, the most of the shooting stopped. That was nice - they could be reasoned with (unlike the raiders).

"Just turn your back and walk away, lady!" A rough male voice called out. "Best choice for everyone!"

There was a moment of silence. I peeked out over the corner, not sure what to think about this offer.

I rolled over and crouched behind the staircase when suddenly, I was shot at again. I angrily pointed my pistol and fired three shots at the nearest gangster. The blasts of energy the laser pistol emitted were much stronger than conventional ammunition - although they didn't disintegrate him into a pile of dust like what I had seen in the ArcJet building, two were enough to kill. He fell down, dead. I considered taking the assault rifle he had had, but decided against it. There was still some immediate danger to my life in the form of four angry men who now didn't feel like negotiating. I quickly shot at another who was relatively close - at the first time, I missed. My next shot was more successful and he too fell dead.

I staggered backwards when a bullet hit me in the chest - my Brotherhood of Steel combat armor deflected the bullet without any hassle, but I still felt the impact.

I gritted my teeth and fired three times at the gangster who had shot me. The first of my shots went wild, although the second hit him in the arm. When I pulled the trigger for the third time, there was only a click. I had forgotten that I had to reload.

I pressed myself against the nearest pillar, quickly thinking about where I had put the ammo. I wanted to slap myself when I realized it was at the bottom of my backpack.

I quickly pulled out my hunting rifle and checked the clip - there were five bullets inside, but I had to keep in mind that it wasn't an automatic weapon. Shooting would take longer.

I leaned out from my cover and looked around. The three remaining gangsters had apparently decided that it's safer together and were now all camped on the other side of the railway. The man I had injured was now limping, I noticed with some satisfaction.

I brought the rife to my face, closed one eye and aimed carefully. This was no sniping weapon, but I still did a quite fine job of killing two of the men before they realized what was going on.

The last remaining gangster was more intelligent and instead of repeatedly firing his gun at me like the others had done, he turned tail and ran. I stood there astonished for a moment, but then I realized that it had to mean that he was going to get backup.

I quickly followed him, trying to reload while running. When I finally had some ammunition inside my rifle, I stopped to aim and shoot. I missed, of course, and now I was getting underfoot. I shot again and felt some relief when the man staggered as the bullet hit him in the leg. Good, now he wouldn't run away.

Catching up with him wasn't a problem anymore. I kicked the weapon out of his hands and aimed the hull of my own at his head.

"Wait! Don't do it, please!" He cried out, his eyes shut.

I stopped. This wasn't a mindless animal, this was a human being I was killing. And he wasn't trying to kill me - if I shot him now, it would be murder, plain and simple.

As I contemplated that, the gangster kicked me off my feet and attempted to reach for his submachine gun. I shot him, angry at myself for hesitating.

 _This is a cruel world_ , I thought bitterly as I searched his body for ammunition. I also found fifty bottlecaps - an amount that seemed extremely large in comparison to the one-digit numbers raiders usually had on them.

I looked around the station. I recalled Ellie's words about how the mafia had set themselves up in some pre-War fallout shelter. Now I only had to find the entrance.

I looked up and found myself staring ahead.

"Of course," I muttered as I stared at the large, gear-shaped door with a 114 painted in the middle.

It was a Vault. Because what else could it be?

I used the universal jack from my Pip-Boy to open the door. It made a lot of noise and I hoped the gangsters inside Vault 114 were either used to it or didn't hear it somehow.

I tried to take in as much of the facility as well, subconsciously comparing it to Vault 111. The entrance and hall were pretty much the same, but that was the end of the similarities. There were no cryogenic pods in here. Instead, there were even more corridors than in my Vault.

' _My_ Vault'? I shook my head with a smirk. I was getting too sentimental. What was wrong with me that I considered the place where my husband and friends had been killed and my son taken away from me mine?

After two minutes of anxiously sneaking around this maze of corridors, it turned out that they _did_ lead somewhere. To a large, multi-level hall. I had exited at the first floor, but below me, there was also a ground floor which clearly acted as the dining area slash cafeteria of the Vault. Above me, there was a small window with view of the whole hall - the whole Vault. The room behind it had to be some kind of management room. The Overseer's quarters, maybe?

"You all comfortable there, Valentine?"

I froze. The man who had spoken obviously hadn't noticed me yet, but I could say the same about him - I had no idea where he was.

"Oh sure, Dino. Thanks for giving me the best suite. I appreciate it, I really do," another voice replied - Nick Valentine, as I presumed. The man was either naturally sarcastic or really ticked off. Possibly both. "No. Of course I'm not comfortable in your dumb little cell, bucko. Especially seeing how you've been keeping me here for two weeks. Might be more humane to just shoot me."

I looked around and finally saw one of them - the gangster named Dino, I guessed. He was standing next to the door to the Overseer's room. They were speaking through the window.

Huh. So they decided to kidnap a private detective and keep him locked up in the place with most control in the whole Vault? Not the brightest choice, if I were to judge.

I looked around in search for a staircase or elevator that would get me to the upper level, and grinned when I did find one, on the other side of the hall. I walked over there as quietly as I could, but once on the stairs, I suddenly stood face to face with the gangster Dino.

We stared at each other for a moment, equally surprised to see. Well, maybe he was a bit more surprised - that was why I recovered from the shock slightly sooner and tripped him, then effectively knocked out with a hit to the back of the head. The handle of my hunting rifle left a dent in the fedora the man was wearing.

I walked up to the window and tried looking inside. It was a vain effort - unlike the emergency lighting in the corridors, it seemed light in the entire Vault was out.

"Hi there," I greeted, trying to sound confident.

"Well, I'll be darned," the man said from inside the room. I narrowed my eyeglasses-less eyes to make out what he looked like. Much like I had expected, to be honest. Tall and skinny, dressed in a long trench coat and wearing a fedora hat. The perfect image of a private detective. "Real glad you dropped by and all, but if you open this door, we can talk properly."

"...Okay." I tried the handle, but of course, the door was locked. "It's locked."

"There's a terminal on that wall, it accesses the door. And Dino over there had a key, if I'm right."

"Okay," I repeated. The terminal? Oh hell no. Whatever Sturges and Paladin Danse were capable of doing with those, neither of them thought about teaching me that skill. I had no idea how to hack a computer. "Yeah. I'll get the key. Hang on."

"Oh, don't worry," Valentine muttered. "Not like I can go anywhere."

I was at the staircase soon enough, rolling the unconscious gangster so that he was facing upwards and checking his pockets. Along with the key to the Overseer's room, I found a fair amount of bottlecaps and a silenced 10mm pistol. I took the latter mostly because I didn't want Dino to be armed if he woke up sooner than I left.

"Found the key," I announced as I proceeded to open the door. Then, I remembered that the man inside was still technically a stranger. "By the way... I'm armed."

"You don't say." He replied in a flat voice. "For your comfort, _I'm_ not."

I turned the key in the lock, pushed the door open and walked into the dimly-lit room to finally meet up with the detective.

And that was the point when I realized that neither Piper nor Ellie had described him to me in any way. That was also the moment I understood why they didn't want to explain a lot.

 _Of course._ Nick Valentine was a ghoul.

As I took another step forward, I realized how wrong that statement had been. Because that was when I began to notice the metal parts. And the glowing eyes. And the mechanical hand. No. Definitely not a ghoul...

 _That_ wasn't like _anything_ I had ever seen before.

I honestly didn't know how to react, so I just stood there.

"Gotta love the irony of the reverse damsel-in-distress scenario," he said while lighting a cigarette. He then looked up at me and I froze when I felt those glowing yellow eyes on me. "The question that remains is why would our heroine be risking her life for an old private detective."

I stared at him, unable to make a sound.

" _What_ the hell _are_ you?" I finally uttered. Maybe it wasn't a very civilized response, but it was the only thing I could focus on.

He rolled his eyes. "I just told you - I'm a detective."

Great, he was also sarcastic. _This is going to be fun._

"I don't think this is what matters at the moment, though." He eyed me carefully, and I felt strangely uncomfortable. "Because you clearly know who I am, and this leaves me at a disadvantage here."

"My name is Nora," I said simply. Because honestly, what else could I say? People in the Wasteland didn't seem to care for last names anymore, and any titles or functions I had had before the War were nothing now. I was starting anew - with just my name, nothing more.

"Why thank you, that's a very specific statement."

"I don't think we have time for specific statements at the moment," I noticed.

"You're right. It won't be long until the rest of these knuckleheads realize Mr Muscles-for-brains isn't coming back." Valentine walked out of the room, then looked back at me. I hadn't moved from my place. "What is it? You waiting for a special invitation?"

I followed him hesitantly.

"Okay..." I handed him my old 10mm pistol. "Here. In case we run into any trouble."

"A 10mm gun." He said in a flat voice. "Truly a token of trust."

I was under the impression that it wasn't the most powerful weapon he had seen.

We ran down the stairs, and I only followed Valentine as soon as I realized that he knew his way around the Vault - or in the worst case, _pretended_ that he knew. There was an awkward silence between the two of us for a moment, but eventually, he spoke up.

"Don't get me wrong, I _am_ grateful for you busting me out. It's just that we haven't really gotten out of this whole thing yet."

"Oh," I said. Because I didn't know what to say. "Oh, yeah. That's right, you were working on some kidnapping here, right?"

"Kidnapping, my foot." He snorted. "Turns out the girl I was supposed to be rescuing didn't _need_ much of a rescue - she's Skinny Malone's new girlfriend, and believe me, she didn't take kindly to the notion that her parents have sent a private detective after her. Lead to the state of the matter that you found." He shrugged as we walked down the stairs to the lowest level. "Still, could be worse. Well, knowing the Commonwealth, it _is_ worse and you just walked into a pretty nasty thing."

"That wouldn't be the first time," I muttered. The Minutemen at Concord, the Brotherhood of Steel at Cambridge, Piper in Diamond City... It seemed everyone around here was in some kind of trouble. "So what kind of nasty are we talking about?"

"See... I don't think we'll be able to escape here so easily. Word's out that I'm gone and this sort of peace that we're enjoying now is gone. We'll probably run into either Malone or one of his thugs sooner or later, and in that case, leave the talking to me. Really."

"Your talking only got you locked up," I noticed.

"My talking saved my life. Repeatedly. I've learned to trust quick wit and my tongue more than my body." He looked me over. "But you're not much different, are you? Talk your way out of ugly situations too?"

"I'm a lawyer," I replied with a shrug. "It's my job to know how to talk prettily."

"Lawyer?" He repeated, then gave a short laugh. "That's a new one. Haven't met a lawyer since before the War."

I shut my mouth when I realized I had already said too much.

Nick Valentine stopped and motioned for me to do so as well. We were on the lowest level, next to the entrance to the hall slash atrium that seemed to be the center of the whole Vault. There were several gangsters talking among themselves there.

"There can't be more than ten of them," Valentine noticed aloud while checking how much ammo had I given him with the pistol. "I think we should handle an open combat if it comes to it. So how do you want to play this?"

"To be honest," I said as I swapped my hunting rife for the assault rifle, "I'm getting sick of all this sneaking around."

I reloaded the rifle and took aim. There were three gangsters sitting at the table and playing cards. It looked almost peaceful - but the submachine guns which lay on the table didn't.

I opened fire.

Two of them died after a second, but the last one was only wounded. He quickly flipped the table and used it as cover. The gunfire also alarmed the five other guards in the room and they began shooting, so I had to retreat behind the doorframe and shoot from there. Nick Valentine with the small 10mm pistol made himself useful as well, since he picked off any wounded gangsters my assault rifle left alive. I hissed when another bullet hit my left shoulder - and this time penetrated the leather pad I used as armor. I felt weak, but didn't give up. There were only two enemies left to get rid of. Valentine shot one in the head. Correction: there was only one enemy to get rid of.

I gritted my teeth to ignore the pain and turned the fire from my assault rifle in his direction. The man was dead soon enough, and I let myself wince in pain.

I quickly looked around - it was clear - and knelt down. I slowly slipped my backpack off my shoulders, trying not to touch the wound.

"Well. Good old shoot-everything-up, that's your style? Leaves a bit of a mess." The private detective nodded his head. "But it does the job." He looked at me and must have noticed that I was injecting a Stimpak into my left arm. "You got hit?"

"It's fine," I said, closing my eyes in relief when the nanotechnology from the injection proceeded to mend the wound from inside of my body. I had to give credit where it was due - everything else aside, Stimpaks _did_ work nearly immediately.

"You about done here?" Valentine asked. I glanced at my Pip-Boy, but it said I was good to go.

I nodded. "After you."

"Well alright." He pressed something on the control panel on the wall, but the nearby door did not open. "Huh. This one's a bit stuck."

I involuntarily took a step back when I remembered a similar situation with Paladin Danse.

"Don't shoot it," I said quickly. Nick Valentine gave me a strange look.

"Shoot? What are you on about?" He raised an eyebrow - which looked kind of strange, taking that he didn't actually _have_ eyebrows.

"Nothing," I replied quickly. "So, how are you going to get it open?" I cleared my throat. "Because you _are_ going to get it open, aren't you?"

"Watch and learn."

He opened up the panel, revealing all the wiring inside, and used his left hand - the robotic one - to meddle around with it. _If he gets electrocuted, this is going to take an ugly turn_ , I thought bitterly. Apparently, everyone in the Commonwealth knew their way around technology (aside from me, of course).

"There..." the detective muttered. "Got it."

The door opened and Valentine just stared ahead, defeated.

"More stairs?" He complained. "Who the hell designed this Vault? A fitness instructor?"

I snickered under my breath. Oh boy. I hadn't realized how badly I had needed some humor. Maybe this wasn't the worst thing to happen to me in the end - if he could help me get my revenge _and_ lift my spirits, he was in. And I didn't care if he was a ghoul, or an android, or a cyborg or whatever. _Or a synth_ , I thought. _But those were supposed to look human._

And there was at least one thing he was right about - all those stairs _were_ beginning to get tiring. Thankfully, this staircase seemed to be the last one we would have to conquer today - this area seemed familiar... Then again, every single corridor in the Vault looked practically identical.

"How did they get this place, anyway?" I wondered aloud. "Seems like a piece of work, to break through a door that's supposed to survive a nuclear blast."

"Skinny Malone and his gang, you mean?" Nick Valentine shrugged. "Been camped up here for a few months. Guess they must have considered it a blessing that they were the first ones to stumble upon it. An empty Vault - the perfect place for a hideout."

"Empty?" I repeated. "What happened to the people?"

Maybe it was the fact that I had spent my share of time in a Vault as well, but I was taking this whole thing almost personally.

"I figure they're dead - never had the chance to refuge in this here fallout shelter. The construction was never finished." That must have been why I had seen paint buckets, ladders and other interior decoration equipment all over the Vault - it was all two hundred years old, left by the original Vault-Tec workers. "But hey, at least there wasn't any bloody massacre to get this place."

"I guess." I nodded.

There was a moment of silence.

"It's quiet," I said.

"Well... We weren't exactly subtle down in the atrium, were we?" Valentine cocked his head to the side. "I doubt we made it unnoticed."

"So you're saying this is an ambush?" I asked, then wrinkled my nose. He was right, something was wrong here.

"I don't know. And my experience says there's one way to find out."

He rounded the corner and I, out of any other options, had to follow him.

I froze as soon as my eyes got hit by a strong light from some reflectors. I was temporarily blinded, but I was also aware of the presence of at least three other people in the room. And I had a feeling they were armed. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I realized that we had at least four guns pointed at us, along with the lights.

I instinctively put my arms in the air.

I glanced at Valentine, who was standing by my side. He seemed unimpressed and only rolled his eyes at my surrender. I reluctantly lowered my arms, seeing how that didn't take me anywhere.

"So...?" I cleared my throat, trying to smile at the gangsters. "What's up now?"

"Seriously?" A young woman dressed in a quite pretty long dress walked up to us. " _This_ is who you got to bust you out, Valentine?"

I felt almost offended.

"You're that girl he was supposed to be rescuing," I guessed. I recalled the case files Ellie had shown me in Diamond City. "Darla, isn't it?"

"Ah, there they are!" A new voice joined the conversation, smooth and deep. I craned my head to look at the man who had just walked in. Skinny Malone, as I presumed. He seemed angry - I would let Nick Valentine do all the talking, then. "Nicky, Nicky... What gives? Shooting up my people? They're just doing their job." He let out a tired sigh. "You have any idea how much this is gonna set me back?"

Valentine rolled his eyes.

"I wouldn't be here if it weren't for your girl, Malone. Should've told her to write home more often."

I snickered - which, looking at it in retrospect, wasn't probably the best choice. Darla gave me a heavy glare, but Skinny Malone just put a hand to his forehead.

"This ain't the old setup, Nicky. Here, I'm the king," he said angrily. "With this here Vault, I've finally got a good thing going. And I ain't letting some sleuth-for-hire ruin it all!"

Darla looked at her boyfriend. "I told you - I told you we should have just killed him! But then you had to get all sentimental, talking about 'the old times' and everything!"

"Shut up, Darla," Malone growled. I paid close attention to the tone of his voice. It didn't seem like either of them was very happy in that relationship. "I'm handling this. Skinny Malone's always got things under control!"

"Yeah? Then what's this lady doing here, huh?" She nodded at me. "Valentine must have brought her to rub us all out!"

I was done with letting others do the talking. I took a step forward, although I was mindful of all the people who were aiming guns at me and avoided any abrupt moves.

"Darla, isn't it?" I began calmly. "Listen to me. I don't know what's going on here, I don't want to interfere in your life, but... You're not really happy here, are you? Think about it. You don't wanna throw away your life with those thugs." I let out a breath. "Your parents are worried about you. They want you to come home, they don't know what happened... That's why they hired Nick Valentine to find you. And _this_ is how you're repaying for the love they have for you?"

I let those words hang in the air for a while.

"Come on, Darla. Don't listen to this bullshit-" Malone began, but she cut him off.

"One more 'come on, Darla' and I'm done with you! This woman is right! You're ordering me around like I'm some kind of thing... Well, guess what. We're _done_."

"Darla... Come on, baby..." He noticed that she was walking towards the Vault's entrance. "Where are you going?"

"Home, Skinny! Where I should have been all this time!" She bit her lip, but then shook her head. "This is goodbye for us."

"Great," Valentine muttered under his breath. He turned towards the gangsters. "Alright, now that she's no longer here to distract you, maybe you'll finally let us go. To be honest, she wasn't the right girl for you - my friend here just did you a favor." He sighed. "And you still owe me for two weeks in this hole."

Skinny Malone was dumbstruck, and for a moment I was afraid he was going to order his men to shoot us, but he just waved his hand at them. They lowered their guns.

"Just go. Damn it, Nicky... Just go." He narrowed his brows when we didn't leave immediately. "Now! You have until the count of ten!"

Valentine grabbed my hand - and since he was standing on my right side, that meant he used his robotic hand to touch me. I flinched, but let him drag me out of the Vault.

"That was close," he commented once we were at the station. He looked at the bodies of the gangsters I had killed before. "I don't suppose someone will come clean this all up, but you did right in my book. Hey..." He looked at me with a smile. "Thanks for busting me out. I really appreciate it."

When we left the station, the sky was already dark. It wasn't night yet, but I could already see the bright stars shining on the vast blackness above. One thing that hadn't changed in those two hundred years - looking up, I could still see the same stars.

"Ah, look at that Commonwealth sky." Valentine leaned his head back. "Never thought something so naturally ominous could end up looking so inviting." He laughed dryly. "Haven't seen the stars for a fortnight. You wouldn't believe how much you come to miss things like this when you live under the ground."

I wondered if that would have been my life if Vault 111 had been a regular one. If I would never have seen the sky again and lived the rest of my days in relative peace under the ground.

"Alright, I'm done now. Sorry, I'm a bit of a romantic - have to glance up at the stars every now and then, you know." The detective shook his head. "But I imagine you have an awful lot of questions. At least you look like you do."

"I am the questioning type," I admitted. "First of all, I'm... I mean, what... Are you some kind of cyborg or something? What happened to your face? And your hand... and... other things?"

"Ah, the usual first question," he commented bitterly. "Always the first thing people notice about you. It's not what you do or what you say, but what you _look like_. I'm not very lucky in this case - only got this ugly mug." He shook his head, defeated. "Look, I know the ripped skin and the metal parts ain't comforting, but that's just what I look like. Can't really change it."

That wasn't much of an answer, but I let that pass. His attitude kind of made up for the exterior.

"Second of all. You're a private detective, aren't you? You investigate crimes?"

"Depends." He lit a cigarette and inhaled some. He blew out a puff of smoke. "What crime do you have in mind?"

"Murder and kidnapping," I said coldly. "I'm trying to find the bastards who killed my husband and took my son."

"Good old angel of vengeance," he commented. "Look, uh... Nora, was it? I'm not usually after blood money, but I guess I'll make an exception this one time. I still owe you for getting me out of that godforsaken Vault... Alright, once I finish this, your case is the first one I'm getting to. Price of gratitude, you know." He smiled. "Ain't that right, Darla?"

"Huh?" I looked around and saw the girl standing several feet away from us. "You were spying on us?" I asked, narrowing my brows.

"You don't need to escort me home." She crossed her arms over her chest, although it sounded as though she was just excusing herself. "I can find my own way to Diamond City."

Valentine laughed. "I don't doubt that. Then why are you still here?"

"I wanted to say thank you," she admitted reluctantly. She walked up to us. Her blue dress was torn now, but I much preferred her that way than when she had been with the gangsters. "You were right, I was wasting my life with someone like him... We were never meant to be. You opened my eyes."

I shrugged.

"I did what I had to. I survived _and_ you're free, so I guess I did alright."

"Free," she repeated. "Yeah, that sounds nice. Free. I guess I didn't realize I wasn't..." She looked at the detective. "You wouldn't mind if I came with you two? I... don't really feel safe on my own out here."

"Sure thing." Nick Valentine nodded. "The more the merrier, and three's already a crowd. Because we _are_ going together, aren't we?"

"Yeah, we are," I confirmed.

I glanced at my Pip-Boy, which was displaying another information. Why couldn't that thing just stop for a moment? If it weren't for the map and GPS, I would have thrown it away a long time ago.

Apparently, it had just picked up a new radio station - Military Frequency AF-95.

To be honest, it was the word 'military' that really got my attention. I immediately tuned in to that station.

 _"Automated message repeating. This is Scribe Haylen of Recon Squad Gladius, to any units within transmission range. Our team has attained casualties and we're running low on supplies. Requesting immediate assistance at our position in Cambridge Police Station. Automated message repeating. This is Scribe Haylen-"_ I quickly. turned it off, feeling strangely uneasy. I only hoped this message had been recorded before I had helped the soldiers out. But if not, then... how could I ignore it?

I glanced at Nick Valentine, who was talking to Darla at the moment.

"Hey, um... Valentine?" I cleared my throat. "I just remembered I've got one more thing to do while I'm around here. How about you guys go straight to Diamond City, and I'll catch up with you later?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "I mean, it's your call, sure. But the Commonwealth isn't a safe place at night. Best find a safe place to sleep, and if not at least watch your back out there."

"I will," I promised with a nod of my head.

Cambridge Police Station. It wasn't far, according to my Pip-Boy map. Besides, I was already beginning to learn my way around.

I tuned in to Diamond City Radio for the road. The song that I heard this time wasn't as upbeat as the ones I had heard before, but I didn't fail to notice that it was another track by The Ink Spots. Maybe many of their records had survived the war. Or maybe the DJ was a fan. Or maybe it was just popular among people in the Commonwealth... Not that it mattered. Music was music, and I was mostly glad to be listening to it.

I smiled when I finally got to the now-familiar College Square. The police station was just around the corner.

"Freeze and drop your weapon," someone ordered. I turned around in an instant, though remembered to put down my laser pistol.

"Hello there." I smiled at Paladin Danse - because who else could it be? "I don't mean to sound imposing, but I was under the impression you let me into your little military group. Thought I might pop in and say hi while I'm in the neighborhood. Didn't realize I would be a shooting target."

"Ah." He quickly lowered the rifle he had been pointing at me. "I'm sorry. I... didn't recognize you, Initiate."

I looked around, but it didn't look like anyone was dying.

"And you guys are... fine?" I asked unsurely.

"Obviously." He seemed surprised. "Why doubt that? You helped us secure that transmitter. Everything is in perfect order, as far as I'm aware."

"Oh," I laughed. "It was nothing, then. Whew. I was worried there for a moment..."

He raised an eyebrow.

"I just heard your message on the radio," I explained. "I thought something had happened."

"What message?"

I played it aloud. (The reception was much better here, near to the source - almost no static disruptions.)

"Oh, this. I have almost forgotten about it. I'll have Haylen take this down, it's not up to date anymore." He grabbed the power armor helmet which lay on a small table next to the guard post. "It's late. What are you doing outside?"

It seemed like I didn't know what dangers the Wasteland had to offer at nighttime. I wasn't sure if I wanted to find out.

"As I said, I heard your distress call on the radio and thought you were in trouble. Besides, you told me to report here anyway."

The Paladin crossed his arms, which resulted in several not-exactly-quiet noises from the metal armor he was wearing.

"We should head inside. It's better to talk in a friendly environment - I feel just uneasy out in the open like this."

"By the way..." I didn't look at him while saying that because I wasn't exactly sure how he was going to react. "You could at least ask the next time you need someone to act errand girl." I smirked. "Doesn't mean I didn't do it, of course."

"You... found Paladin Brandis?" He completely ignored the part where I criticized him.

"Yeah - and he was still alive, would you believe that? Also, I _might_ have just convinced him to actually rejoin the Brotherhood of Steel."

Paladin Danse looked at me with wide eyes.

"I'm..." He shook his head slowly. "I have to admit that I'm impressed, Initiate. I'm certain it wasn't an easy task. He must have been-"

"Paranoid? Unstable?" I laughed bitterly. "Yeah, I got that impression."

"Not the words I would have used..."

"Still true, though." I put a hand to my forehead. "Listen: aside from some obvious essentialities, he's going to need a psychiatrist's help. I hope you can provide that."

" _I_ can't, but hopefully we can get out of here soon enough - and take Paladin Brandis with us." Paladin Danse opened the door to the police station. He stopped to look down at me (seven feet tall, in that armor. I'm just saying. Intimidating.) "Come in. The world may be a wretched wasteland, but it hasn't come to it yet that I'm letting one of my soldiers sleep in the outdoors. Not when there's a decent fallback point nearby."

I wasn't _tired_ yet - but I wasn't going to argue, either. Besides, I was pretty sure I was feeling restless only because of the amount of adrenaline that had rushed through my body during the last several hours. It had been almost non-stop action.

"Thanks."

"Don't thank me." For some reason, he was offended. "Actions like this should be taken for granted among fellow soldiers. Understood?"

"If what you're saying is 'I help you and you help me', then yes sir."

"I'll have to work on you, won't I?" He sighed heavily.

I narrowed my eyes. "I'd like to see you _try_."

He gave me a light push forward. "Just come inside already. Besides, I'm sure the rest of my squad will be thrilled to find out you're a part of the team from now on."

"Oh great," I muttered. "Introductions all over again. Yippee."

Paladin Danse was either too tired or too naturally earnest to grasp the sarcasm in my voice.

"I'm glad you're this enthusiastic about it."

He practically pushed me inside the building.

"Paladin, sir." Knight Rhys nodded at us. I noticed his arm was in a cast now, so it had to be broken after all. "I've been..." He drifted off when he saw me. "Her again? What is it this time?"

Scribe Haylen, who had been typing something into the terminal on the reception desk, looked up and smiled at me. I smiled back, happy to see at least one of them was remotely friendly.

"Down with your tone, Rhys. She's helped me at ArcJet and found out what happened to Paladin Brandis's squad - which, may I remind you, was supposed to be _our_ task." Paladin Danse put a hand on my shoulder. "I've decided to field promote her to Initiate - she's a part of this squad from now on." He paused. "I hope I make myself clear enough."

"Transparently, sir." Rhys narrowed his eyes as he looked at me, as if judging me. "You're not gonna survive a day in the Brotherhood."

"Don't worry, I'm not killed as easily as you think," I shot back immediately. "You'd have to try harder."

" _This_ is what I'm risking my rank on," Paladin Danse muttered to himself. I wasn't sure what he was talking about, just that he was disappointed. "If you're to stay, you'd better understand one thing quickly: if there's something I expect from all soldiers under my command - except for loyalty and honesty - it's cooperation. This isn't mercenary work anymore." Mercenary? _That's_ what he had thought I was? "You're not on your own anymore, so you have to know how to work as part of a team. We're not soldiers of fortune - we're supposed to be brothers in arms. If you don't like those requirements, you're free to go as you wish. But I'm not going to go easy on you. Not knowing the rules doesn't allow you to disobey them."

I survived the long look he gave me.

"Don't worry, sir. I won't let you down."

The Paladin nodded. "I certainly hope so."

"Welcome to the team." Scribe Haylen ran a hand through her hair as she approached me after he walked away. "You both made it back alive and we've finally got that transmitter, so that's all you might need to prove to me." She smirked. "Besides, you managed to impress Paladin Danse. I have no idea what you did at ArcJet Systems, but it had to be something. He's not of those who are easily surprised."

I shrugged. "Just some quick tactical thinking, nothing special."

"Well," she winked at me, "whatever you say. I'm glad you're here - things are gonna run much smoother with a set of four again. Pleased to be working with you." She saluted. " _Ad victoriam_ , Initiate."

Knight Rhys frowned at us.

"She doesn't even know what that means, Haylen," he pointed out.

"Seriously?" I raised an eyebrow. "I worked hard for a law degree. I'm sure I know more Latin than you will ever learn in this stupid wasteland."

"What's wrong with you?" He growled. "You have no idea what you're even talking about. I don't mean the literal meaning - I'm asking if you know what that means. What that _really_ means."

"She's new." Scribe Haylen moved to defend me. "You can't expect her to-"

" _Ad victoriam_ is Latin for 'for victory'," Paladin Danse said calmly, which effectively silenced any other conversation in the room.

"Towards victory?" I proposed my line of translation.

"However you prefer." He flexed his fingers. "As members of the Brotherhood of Steel, we believe that victory is what we are aiming for. Defeat simply isn't an option. When we fight, we fight _ad victoriam_. For victory - _not_ for glory, as you very poetically suggested yesterday. Our rallying cry is more powerful than any weapon you will ever carry. Just remember that when you next say those words."

"Yes, sir." I nodded. "I will. Victory, not glory. Rallying cry. Latin. Of course."

I let out a breath, glad that the attention wasn't on me anymore.

"So." Knight Rhys walked up to me and crossed his arms in the most cliché 'unapproachable' pose. I noticed some of that attitude reflecting in Paladin Danse's defensiveness. They were supposed to be all brothers in arms, but in reality, they weren't very open people, were they? "You decided to stick around, huh?"

"I might have," I answered perfunctorily. "Why are you asking?"

"Because I expected you to take your payment and run - instead, you're still here, and Danse claims you haven't taken a single bottlecap. So I don't know if I was wrong about you or if I'll just have to look out for my family harder."

"You're... not happy I'm staying?" I snorted.

"I don't know. I've got a full enough plate will ferals and raiders all over the place. I don't need another problem."

"I'm not _going to_ be a problem," I protested angrily.

"I just don't like the fact that I'll have to sleep with one eye open from now on."

"Rhys." Paladin Danse apparently decided it was the time to intervene. "That's _enough_. Like it or not, you're going to have to learn to work together." I shot him a triumphant look. " _Both_ of you." I frowned. "Nora. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir!" I didn't have much trouble with repeating that for what felt like the thousandth time.

"Rhys?"

The Knight sighed. "Be nice to the new recruits or else they'll quit, I know. Fine, I can tolerate her." He huffed. "Still not gonna make me trust her, though."

"Fair enough. Just don't start a fight - either of you."

"I didn't _mean to_ start a fight," I muttered after he walked away. "I just wanted a safe place to sleep, but I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now."

Knight Rhys looked like he was about to comment on that, but thankfully Scribe Haylen grabbed my hand.

"Come on," she said as she led me deeper into the police station. "I'll show you where you can get some rest. It _is_ pretty late, after all..." Once we were at a safe distance from both of the men, she sighed. "I'm _so_ sorry about them. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only sane person around here."

"I can handle being ordered around." I shrugged.

"I can see that you can." She smiled. "I just felt like I needed to apologize - because I don't think either of the boys will. They're just... a different kind of people, and you have to get used to that. Alright, I know they seem unapproachable, but I would trust both of them with my life." She closed her eyes. "Danse may be a bit uptight as a person, but he's the best commanding officer I've ever served under. Sure, he makes mistakes, but I've seen him lead us out of completely hopeless situations - I never doubted his judgement. Even when he..." She hesitated. "It doesn't matter. As to Rhys, the only thing I can tell you is that he's like that to everyone, not just you. The Brotherhood is his family, his whole life... He just gets defensive when he feels it's threatened in some way. He doesn't really like people."

"He seems to like _you_ , though," I noticed.

She blushed a deep shade of red.

"It's... not like that. When I was just an Initiate like you, Rhys was my sponsor. He vouched for me to the Elder, showed me the strings and everything... We were very close, so I asked him if he cared about me as more than just his partner, but he just... I don't know, he just shut me out... But I don't know, I feel like..." She blinked a few times, as if suddenly aware of what she was doing. "Why am I even telling you all of this? I don't want to bore you with my pathetic love life."

"It's fine. I get that effect on people," I assured her. "Magic of persuasion was one of the vital parts of my job back in the time." I smirked. "And come to think of it, I've noticed the way you look at Paladin Danse, too."

She blushed an even deeper a red.

"Sh-shut up!" She covered my mouth with her hands. "You don't have to talk about that! Not _aloud_..."

"Oh boy," I said to myself. "This is _so_ classic. A mere soldier with a crush on her handsome commanding officer. Top Gun, reverted." I laughed.

"You just _try_ and tell him-"

"Which one?" I asked innocently. She kept on opening her mouth for a moment, but no words came out.

"You are a _terrible_ person," she decided eventually.

"Oh, don't worry." I put a hand on her shoulder, trying to sound as reassuring as it was possible. "I was only joking around, okay? It's fine. You keep your matters to yourself, and I'll keep mine to myself. Now, where did you say I can sleep?"

She pointed to a bed in the corner of the room, too astonished to speak.

"Thanks." I sat down and proceeded to take off my backpack. "By the way, I think Rhys might actually like you back."

She made an unspecified high-pitched sound and I had to prevent myself from laughing.

oooOOO***OOOooo

The thing I found out not much later was that, as much as Rhys might have liked Haylen back, he definitely didn't like _me_.

"What's the matter with you?" He asked after watching me try and make a coffee in the morning. (Futile effort, really - the coffeemaker was bent and rusted, and I hadn't noticed any electrical appliance other than the lights actually working.)

"Excuse me?" I asked, hoping I would cover my confusion with sleepiness.

"You run in, take out a bunch of ferals and suddenly you're best buddies with Paladin Danse?" He snorted. "I'm sorry if I don't buy it."

I just looked at him.

"Why do you hate me so much?" I asked flatly.

"I don't trust you. It's got nothing to do with _hate_. What's your game? I don't understand you, and I really hate that. It's unsettling. You're not the military type, and it's more than obvious. The way you talk, the way you throw fake smiles at everyone, hell, even the way you're looking at me now. I was being honest when I said you won't survive in the Brotherhood."

"You don't know a thing about me," I growled. "If you were anything like Paladin Danse-"

"You don't know a thing about _him_ ," he countered. And that effectively shut me up, because it was true. "Look, I'm gonna cut you some slack because Danse trusts you, but I'll let you know that I already know those tricks with the smiles and shining eyes."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I just know that of all the people I've met in my life, you're the least likable one. I don't have to talk to you."

I tried to walk past him, but he grabbed the collar of my shirt.

"You try anything at my brother and you're _done_ , you understand me? Done."

"Brother...?" I repeated, confused as to what he was talking about. "I don't even _know_ your brother."

"Paladin Danse, dumbass."

He was still holding me up, to the point that I was barely standing on my toes. I made the effort to look around the empty room. No one would intervene unless I began screaming. And in the position I was in, as much as _breathing_ was difficult.

"You're related?" I rasped out. "Doesn't look like it. I mean, _he_ is rather good-looking..."

I got the exact result I was hoping for as Rhys's face flushed red in anger - and he let go of me. I fell to the floor and breathed a sigh of relief. It didn't last long, because he pinned me to the wall.

"You might think you're smart, but here in the Brotherhood - you're _nothing_. Danse may be too easy to fool and Haylen too trusting, but I'm not making their mistake. If you do any move to harm any of my brothers and sisters, I will _not_ hesitate before acting." He let go of my jacket with an angry push. "Consider this a warning."

He walked out of the room, leaving me leaning on the reception desk. _Note to self: don't try to socialize with Paladin Danse and Knight Rhys. Only Scribe Haylen is nice._

As if on cue, Paladin Danse walked into the room - even though it was six in the morning, he had had the time to put on that power armor of his. Or maybe he hadn't taken it off in the first place.

"Good morning," I mumbled. I still felt terrible.

"Is something wrong? You seem nervous," he noticed.

For a moment, I contemplated telling him about the way Rhys was treating me, but I had to face that it was probably the worst thing I could do.

"I'm fine," I replied. I tilted my head at him. "But _you_ look like you've got something to say."

I recalled what Haylen had said, about how neither of them were going to apologize to me.

"I suppose it _is_ about time I came clear to you about this..." Paladin Danse sat down by the wall, the wooden floor squeaking in protest against the weight of his metal armor. "As you may know, this squad originally consisted of two Scribes. Now I'm left with only Haylen, the medic, but that other Scribe had been our science expert. A week or so after we arrived in the Commonwealth, he noticed that our sensors picked up some highly... disturbing signals." Paladin Danse put a hand to his forehead - and I suddenly realized how tired he was. Much more than he let on. "They only lasted for a short time and couldn't have been created without use of advanced technology superior to the one we possess." He looked at me seriously. "Do you understand what this implies?"

I nodded vigorously.

"Aliens," I said seriously, keeping a completely straight face. Paladin Danse looked at me with his eyelids dropped and I reminded myself he wasn't one of the people who appreciated the beauty of sarcasm. I blushed. "Sorry."

"It _means_ there's something in the Commonwealth that's creating those bursts of power. And with such technological advancement, it's a possible threat - which means it's our job to investigate."

" _That's_ what the Brotherhood of Steel is about, isn't it? All that agenda about preserving technology... You're really preserving _humanity_ , aren't you?" I bit my tongue when I realized my mistake. "Aren't _we_? Because I have the impression that..."

"I don't know what _impression_ you have, but the truth is always more complicated than that."

I didn't even blink. "It can't be."

"I'm not the right person to ask."

I noticed that he was evading my question.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"I'm tired, I haven't slept for three days, my last food ration went for Haylen, and..." His eyes widened as he shook his head. "Why am I telling you all of this?"

"As I said before, I'm _terribly_ charming." I gave him my sweetest smile. "People tell me stuff. It's that aura of confidentiality." I wanted to finish at that, but couldn't resist adding a sarcastic comment. "Also, you haven't slept for three days..."

 **Level up.**  
 **New perk: Charming - you radiate charisma. Persuasions in dialogue are much easier now, especially with the opposite sex.**


	9. Getting A Clue

**Chapter Eight  
Getting A Clue**

* * *

On my way to Diamond City, I thought about how funny it was that my life was now basically a route of Cambridge-Boston-Cambridge-Boston. Not that I had much of a choice - Paladin Danse had practically thrown me out of the police station, saying something about how I've got my own problems. To be honest, I thought he was afraid he would have to give me some food rations. I had tried to convince myself that they weren't starving, but it hadn't prevented me from leaving a two hundred years old can of food on Scribe Haylen's desk. Hopefully, she would know how best to divide it.

The gates to Diamond City were open this time - another argument for my theory that they had been closed simply to keep Piper out. I was glad I had helped her get in after all. It wasn't fair to banish her simply because of her job - the mayor seemed like some kind of despot from where I was standing.

"Hey, Blue!" I heard the journalist's voice as soon as I entered the city.

"You're always there when something happens, aren't you?" I asked, walking up to her.

"Part of my job," she shrugged. "Goodness, Blue. I didn't think you would actually survive. And Nick's back in town too, so I take it you saved him."

"You could say that, yeah." I adjusted my military backpack on my shoulders as we walked further into the city. "You could have mentioned a few details about Mr Valentine, though. For example, I don't know, that he's not human."

"I assumed you knew," Piper answered, and she sounded so honest that I simply had to believe her. "Sorry about that." She gestured to herself with a small laugh. "Still not used to people from outside DC."

 _DC_. I almost wanted to laugh out loud. I had been used to thinking of this as an abbreviation for Washington (or the 'Capital Wasteland', as it was now called) but I reckoned the initials fit for Diamond City as well. Funny.

Piper took a step back to get a better look at me.

"By the way, you look different," she noticed. "Happier. Has something happened?"

"You could say that... I just realized that life and love go on."

"You've fallen in love, then?" She raised an eyebrow at that. "Don't get me wrong, but I don't think there was enough time for that."

"No," I laughed. Of course, I had meant Scribe Haylen - but that was something Piper couldn't possibly know about. "No, I just... I'm happy." I realized that this didn't explain anything, but I didn't know how else to describe the way I was feeling.

"You're one big mystery, Blue, has anyone ever told you that?"

"No," I replied honestly. "You're the first one. People usually tell me I'm too straightforward, not the other way around."

We got to the city's market and I took off my backpack to pull out the pouch I used for carrying money - I mean, bottlecaps. Which _were_ money.

"I need some of those 'power noodles'," I explained to Piper. "I'm starving. Well, not _actually_ starving - although the guys I've given my food to _were_. But I sure am hungry."

She just looked at me.

"You've given your food to some people in the Wasteland?" She repeated. "I can't believe that I have to explain this to you, Blue, but generosity doesn't exactly pay off in this world. It's only a way to get yourself killed."

I shrugged. I didn't want to talk about the soldiers right now - food was more important.

I bought a bowl of noodles - it turned out they cost five bottlecaps each, so there was an information of how the value of money stood. I finished eating in less than two minutes and immediately ordered another portion.

As I ate my breakfast/brunch/lunch, Piper filled me in on the outcomes of my yesterday's work. Darla and Valentine had reached Diamond City only an hour before me, so I reckoned they must have spent the night on sleeping too. (If Nick Valentine did sleep at all - I still wasn't sure what kind of creature he was. I also had a feeling that asking again would be considered rude.) Valentine had delivered Darla home to her parents, who were more relieved to see their daughter again than angry at her for running away in the first place.

"Also, Nick has been waiting for you." Piper took a sip from the bottle of cola she had pulled out of her messenger bag while I was eating. "Said something about the price of gratitude or something like that. You know what he meant?"

"Yep." I pulled some hair away from my face. (Maybe Sturges was right and it _was_ a bit long. I didn't feel like cutting it, though.) "Thanks, Piper."

"If you don't mind the company, I'd rather come with you." She adjusted her bag on her shoulder and offered me a wide grin that said 'trouble'. " _You_ are the best story I've seen in the Commonwealth in my entire life. I want to be there when something happens around you."

I spread my arms. "I don't think you'd take 'no' for an answer, would you?"

"You're not getting rid of me." Piper bit her lower lip, trying to fight off a smug smirk. "So if I were you, I'd get used to my company."

"Seriously." I sighed. "Fine. When I'll be leaving Diamond City, I'll let you know so you can come with me. For now, I've got to..."

"Yeah, I know. Best not to keep old Valentine waiting." She laughed in a friendly manner. "And Blue... Be nice to him, alright? Nicky's a good person."

"Sure," I assured her. "No racism. I get it."

"Racism," Piper repeated. "Oh boy, that's one way to put it. Anyway, I'll see you around!"

I waved her goodbye, still smiling. _I guess I've made a friend, then._ The feeling was nice.

I walked to the Valentine Detective Agency, humming _America the Beautiful_ under my nose. I have to admit that I got lost a few times on my way there - as impressive as a city built inside a baseball stadium was, it wasn't easy to navigate. It didn't help that most houses were the size of a single room, which only magnified the clutter.

"Nora!" I heard someone call out my name. I looked around and finally spotted Nick Valentine waving at me. I walked up to him nervously.

"Sorry about that," I said. "Still getting lost in all those alleys and everything." I laughed.

"Diamond City's not the best-organized town I've ever seen," he admitted. "But they don't call it the great, green jewel for nothing." He nodded at the door to his office. "Shall we?"

"You've been waiting outside for me?" I asked flatly. "How long? You didn't have to."

He put his robotic hand on my shoulder. "Just an hour or so. And, judging by your amazing sense of direction, I _did_ have to."

I shook my head, but couldn't argue with the fact that I wasn't the best at making my way through Diamond City. The town was like a maze to me.

He pulled the door open and let me walk inside first. _Paladin Danse too_ , I thought. _The world's gone to hell, but at least gentlemen still exist._ I looked at Valentine. _Well, in some form._

I noticed that Ellie was still looking through the files in the drawer of one of the cabinets. She hadn't noticed us enter.

"The bills," she was murmuring to herself. "Oh, Nick... No, forget the bills. This won't help."

I cleared my throat loudly to get her attention.

"You're back? Any word on-" She turned around and saw both of us standing in the doorway. "Nick!" She cried out and threw herself on him.

"Hey, Ellie." He smiled as she hugged him. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You _idiot_ _!"_ She pushed him away now that the initial relief at seeing him again was gone. "You're not taking any case on your own from now on, understood?"

"What can I say? You know me, Ellie." He shrugged. "And you should be thanking Nora here, to be honest. I'd still be locked up in that metal cage if it weren't for her."

"I didn't do that much," I said modestly. "Just talked some sense into a girl who'd lost it."

"Thank you." Ellie embraced me tightly - though not as tightly as she had Nick. She... liked him, didn't she? As _more_ than just her boss. "Thank you. And I know you didn't do it for money, but..."

I noticed she was trying to push a sack of bottlecaps into my hands.

"I _didn't_ do it for money," I said, refusing to take anything from her. "I'd like it to stay that way."

"This world needs more people like you," Ellie said honestly. "You and Nick are gonna get along so well."

"And speaking of getting along," Valentine cleared his throat, "how about we get along with your case? You mentioned a murder, didn't you?"

"You mentioned a missing child," Ellie added. She must have noticed that my face fell, because she gestured to the couch in the corner. "Maybe you want to sit down?"

"Yeah. Thanks." I took my place on the sofa. It was definitely more comfortable than standing, though had nothing on seats before the War.

Nick Valentine sat down on a chair vis-a-vis the sofa and Ellie took the place by my side. She took out a notebook and a pencil. I assumed that they were only waiting for me now.

"Alright, so... This case is a bit 'different'." I decided it would be best to be out with it as soon as possible. "I have no idea who the murderers are or _when_ the murder actually happened... I can't describe the kidnapped person, because I have no idea how much time has passed... I don't know _why_ anyone would kidnap my boy or... Well, nothing."

"No details, then," Valentine summed up. "Well, I've worked on less."

"Really?" I asked. This sounded promising.

"No," he said flatly. "This is a lost cause."

"Thanks for telling me something I didn't know." I lavished sarcasm.

"But I promised I'd help you, so we're not giving up. Alright?" I nodded. "What can you tell me about the whole thing?"

"They went in, took my son... Killed my husband. One shot from some revolver. Big caliber, one-handed." I closed my eyes, trying to recall that moment without getting too emotional. "There were two of them, a man and a woman. I remembered after they took Shaun, they called me 'the backup'. I don't know what that meant or why..."

Eventually, I told them everything. About Vault 111 and how I had been frozen for over two hundred years, about how I didn't know how much time had passed since Shaun had been taken, about when I had woken up and found out about all of that, and eventually even about how I'd lost all hope for finding him.

They were both silent for a while - but only a short while.

"Well, you _are_ right. This is something different. 'The backup'? Doesn't sound like anything I've heard about so far." Valentine lit a cigarette (and ignored the glare Ellie gave him). "This wasn't just a kidnapping, either. There are plenty of groups in the Commonwealth who take people - raiders, Gunners, most gangs... And, of course, there's the Institute. But kidnapping an infant? Whoever took him was taking all of that care on himself, and a baby needs a lot of it."

"You're not helping me by just speculating," I noticed.

"Oh no. Speculating is the best, believe me." He looked at my unconvinced expression. "You were a lawyer, right? I want you to forget that for a moment. Who cares about the facts? Let's speculate together a bit, shall we?"

'Let's forget about the facts' didn't sound like something that could help me in anything, but I decided to trust his judgement. Nick Valentine was, after all, the best private detective in the Commonwealth. (And the only one.)

"...Fine. So what? You think this whole mystical Institute is responsible for kidnapping my child? Taking that it _exists_ at all."

"I don't know. They're the boogeyman of the Commonwealth - anything goes wrong, everyone blames the Institute. The thing is, aside from the synths they sometimes leave behind, no one really knows what their agenda is or where they are... Hell, _I_ don't know, and I'm a synth myself."

"You're a synth?" I tried not to show how surprised I was. There, mystery solved. Nick Valentine _was_ a robot after all.

"A discarded prototype, but still. Sure am." He raised his eyebrows. "Don't freak out, I don't bite."

"You're... a prototype?" I asked. "How does that work?"

"Well, I just kind of assumed that on my own. Never seen another synth like myself. There's the older metal ones that are dumb as rock and the newer ones that are almost human - and I'm something in between, so... Prototype, the only logical explanation."

"Nick is one of a kind," Ellie smiled. "A good person too, unlike the Institute. Just because he's a synth doesn't mean he's one of _them_."

She was _so_ into him.

"So... The Institute takes people, right?" I asked, wanting to get back to the subject. "Or people assume that the Institute takes people."

"It's less of 'they're taking people' and more of 'they're kidnapping people and replacing them with synth duplicates', actually." Valentine puffed some cigarette smoke. I wondered if he was smoking only to maintain that 'noir detective' image. "Main reason why folks are afraid of the Institute, to be honest."

"Has something happened?" I asked. A look at their faces was enough of an affirmative answer. "What happened? An incident or...?"

"People prefer to call it 'the Metal Mask'," Ellie explained. "It happened like two years ago..."

"Long story short, there was a synth that looked like a human and it freaked everyone out," Nick stated through gritted teeth. "Look, it doesn't matter what happened. What matters is that the Institute doesn't kidnap people without leaving a little present behind in return. Your kid is gone, not replaced by a synth - it can't be them."

"So we're still in the woods," I summed up.

"Not quite. You mentioned something about how there were two of them, right? Small groups usually mean professional work, so I think we can rule out a random raider attack as well."

"No, not raiders," I agreed. "They broke into a _Vault_ to get us... Get _him_. They had a specific goal in mind."

"Then why your family?" Ellie narrowed her eyes, looking at the report she was writing as we talked. "You're right, this _doesn't_ make sense. Was there something special about you and your son, something that made you different from everyone else in the Vault?"

"...I don't know," I replied honestly. "I can't think of anything like that. Shaun was a normal kid, we were just an ordinary family."

Valentine stood up angrily and began pacing around the room.

"Did you see either of them? What they looked like?" He asked finally.

"Kind of," I admitted. "But I was frozen again afterwards, so God knows how much time has passed since then."

"I didn't ask how long ago you saw them but _if_ you saw them," he said impatiently.

"I did see the man - the guy who killed my husband. Bald, thick eyebrows, long scar on his left cheek..."

Valentine gaped at me. "It can't be... You didn't hear the name Kellogg at all, did you?!"

"Who?" I asked, hoping for a clarification.

"Conrad Kellogg." Ellie flipped through the pages of her notebook. "The physical description matches. Usually involved in dangerous mercenary work. Ruthless and violent... And no one knows who his employer is."

"Looks like we've found our man, then," I whispered, surprised. This had been much easier than I had expected. "How can I find him?"

"Didn't he buy a house here in Diamond City a while ago?" Valentine narrowed his brows. "And he had a kid with him..."

"Shaun!" I exclaimed, jumping to my feet. "It's Shaun. It has to be."

"Hold your horses," the detective put a hand on my arm. "The kid with him was like ten years old, and you said you were looking for an infant. That's over nine years' difference by my count."

"But I told you - I was frozen later! I have no idea how much time had passed between the kidnapping and my waking up..." I looked at my hands and clenched them into fists. "It's him, it has to be."

"Alright, tone it down a bit. If he does that kind of thing often, maybe it's somebody else's kid. Or maybe he has a son of his own." Nick shook his head. "You can't just throw accusations left and right."

"The man killed my husband!" I pointed out.

"We _assumed_ he killed your husband. Now remember your being a lawyer, Nora. _What_ should we do?"

I sighed. "Stick to the facts," I mumbled.

"Still," Ellie said, looking at us from over her notebook. "It _is_ the only lead we've got. You should at least check him."

"Alright." Valentine adjusted his fedora on his head. "Might as well - even if it's not connected to this particular case, Kellogg's never been someone I could trust."

"Nick." Ellie grabbed his arm. "Be careful this time."

He gave her a crooked grin.

"Aren't I always?"

He then just walked out of the building. I recalled a similar situation with Scribe Haylen and Paladin Danse, so I quickly took Ellie's hand in one of my own.

"Hey," I said as I looked her in the eyes. "I'll look out for him. Keep him safe and all."

"Thank you," she whispered.

I walked outside, gently closing the door behind me.

"Come on," Valentine nodded his head at me. "The house Kellogg bought is by the wall over there. I don't expect anyone to be home, but be prepared just in case."

"Prepared for what?" I asked. "We just wanna talk."

"The guy is dangerous," the detective reminded me. "He kills people for a living, he's ruthless and brutal. Anything more you need to know?"

"I need to know if he was the one who destroyed my family," I said coldly. Just because I was beginning to set up a new life here, it didn't mean I had forgotten my old one, or that it didn't hurt anymore. It did. Revenge was still the brightest of flames burning within my soul, even if it wasn't the only one anymore.

"Huh... That's strange." Valentine glanced at me, then again at the door of the building he had led me to. "Look at this."

I looked. The door was open - not entirely, of course, but just left ajar. It was also clear that the last person to use it hadn't had a key.

"Someone's busted the lock," I observed aloud. "We're not the first to have come here."

Nick drew the 10mm pistol I had given him (somehow, both of us had forgotten about that. At that point it was his gun already). "Be ready for anything," he said.

"Wait." I nervously took out my laser pistol, the smallest and most discreet-looking firearm I owned. "You think whoever broke in is still inside?"

He gave a quick nod of his head and slowly pushed the door open. It swung quietly, without creaking or anything, and we both aimed our weapons at the person standing in the middle of the room.

"Holy-!" Piper dropped the file she had been holding. "You scared the hell out of me!" She exclaimed.

"Piper? What are you doing here?" Valentine holstered his pistol.

The girl offered us a charming smile.

"The same thing as you two - investigating Nora's case. Kellogg's been known for kidnappings, so I thought I'd poke around. I wanted to pick the lock quietly, but something went a bit wrong..." She shrugged. "Not like anyone lives here anymore either way."

"You're right," I said as I wiped some dust off of a cabinet. "Doesn't look like anyone's been here for a few weeks." I wrinkled my nose, but couldn't suppress a sneeze. "Or hasn't dusted the place, at least."

"Bless you," Valentine muttered. Unlike me and Piper, he had gotten straight to business and was now knocking on the walls with his fist. I didn't know what he was looking for, but I had to give credit where it was due, he _did_ act like a professional.

"Huh." Piper put her hands on her hips as she looked around the house. "Small place. Looked bigger from the outside."

"Exactly," Nick parted with the wall. "It _does_ look bigger from the outside. Nora, try and look for something. Piper, give me that file."

"Look for something like what?" I asked.

"You know, the usual." Piper patted me on the shoulder. "A loose brick, a moving bookcase, an empty closet... Whatever it is people do to cover a secret passage."

I rolled my eyes at that unhelpful advice -the shack's walls were metal, there wasn't a single bookcase in sight, and the only closet was the size of a cupboard.

"Honestly, Nick. I've been searching here for the last fifteen minutes," Piper said while I tried looking for anything suspicious. "The guy's either got nothing to hide, or took it all with him when he left DC."

"It _does_ look like he's clean," I admitted reluctantly. "There's nothing to find here, except for old newspapers."

"He read the _Publick_ , ha!" Piper exclaimed triumphantly, then smiled bashfully when we looked at her. "...Sorry."

"There's got to be something," Valentine shook his head. "The types of Kellogg always have some kind of..."

"I've got something!" Piper said proudly. She was kneeling next to the only desk in the room. "There's some kind of switch here."

"Well, that's it?" I asked. She gave me a look. "Just press it."

We all took a step back when a large section of the wall collapsed, showing another room almost the same size as the rest of the house.

Valentine whistled. "Well, Kellogg sure didn't save on the effects."

I walked into the newly-opened secret room. It was more cluttered than even Piper's office, and most of the clutter were ammo boxes and other containers. There was a fair share of food on the shelves, too - mostly pre-packaged stuff from before the War. The only highlight in all that mess was a small coffee table and a comfy-looking armchair right next to it. Other than that, the room was filled with supplies.

"Looks like someone was preparing for the re-apocalypse," Piper commented.

"Re-apocalypse?" I giggled. "Really?"

"I'm a true wordsmith," she replied with a smug grin. "Nobody's gonna tell me I can't."

"Can't you two focus for a moment," Nick Valentine muttered, but more to himself than to us. "Anything useful here?"

I looked around, but couldn't see anything that could help us get on with the investigation.

"Some ammo... _A lot_ of ammo," I corrected myself. ".44 caliber, if I'm right. Cigars..." I picked one up. "San Francisco Sunlights," I read the name aloud.

"Huh. Interesting brand," Valentine commented.

"Except I doubt an old cigar stump will be enough to help us track him down," I countered.

"It _may_... I got an idea. I need to call someone in." He chuckled to himself. "A specialist."

I didn't know why he found it funny.

"So who's your friend, Nick?" Piper asked, raising an eyebrow. "Someone I know?"

Valentine shrugged. "Worked with him a few times, but he only likes certain people. Got a feeling _you'll_ get on, though. Just gotta send out a signal." He looked at the two of us. "It's, um... a bit of a different frequency, so you won't probably hear it. But he will, don't worry."

I and Piper exchanged glances when he whistled - true to his word, without making an audible sound. I almost wanted to ask if Nick's friend was another synth. That would make sense - and despite the fear of synths that both Preston Garvey and Paladin Danse had tried to pass upon me, I was actually interested in how an actual, 'proper' synth looked like. It was impossible for a robot to be indistinguishable from a real human, wasn't it? All those people were just being paranoid... Or were they?

"So, what now?" Piper stomped her foot on the ground impatiently. "Because we can't stay too long in a house that looks like it's been broken into."

"It _has_ been broken into," I pointed out. She couldn't resist a chuckle.

"Let's head on outside. We'll wait for my friend there," Nick decided. "And don't worry. He usually doesn't take long."

We walked out of the house, trying not to look suspicious (which was a pretty futile effort because, much to Nick's aggravation, Piper and I had decided to hoard as much of the stuff we had found in Kellogg's armory as we could. As a result, we walked out of the house with me pushing the last ammo box into my backpack and Piper trying to figure out how to comfortably place three boxes of cookies in her bag. Valentine looked like he wanted to be as far away from us as possible).

Piper took out a box of cookies (Fancy Lads Snack Cakes, Nate's favorite - I noted bitterly) and overgenerously decided to share them with me, which resulted in another despaired look from the private detective. She offered him some too, but he dismissed it, saying that he doesn't need to eat.

I had a feeling that Piper had known that already.

"So," she said, her mouth full of food. "Where's your friend, Nick?"

"He should be here any minute... Oh, and speak of the devil, here he is! Prime as always."

We both looked at him, and I couldn't utter a word. Piper seemed as surprised as me, but probably for different reasons.

"Um... Your friend. You _know_ he's a dog, right?" She asked seriously.

Not just any dog, either. I could recognize the animal that had saved my life several times.

"Seriously?" I glared at Dogmeat. " _Now_ you come back?"

"Aw, you know him?" Nick asked as he knelt down to pet the dog's muzzle. The animal cuddled to his hand with an affectionate whimper. "Dogmeat's a hell of an animal. We've worked together on a few cases in the past and he's always been more than helpful."

"I'm trusting my family's future to a dog," I noticed. "That's it. I'm officially crazy."

Piper snickered, but Nick was completely serious.

"I'm telling you, a Commonwealth mutt like him can track a scent for miles," he insisted. "Let's give him one of Kellogg's things."

I sighed. "Fine." I crouched in front of the dog. "Hey there, Dogmeat. Remember me?" He licked my hands and I couldn't resist a smile. "Of course you do. Who's a good boy?" I scratched him behind the ear. "Alright, I need to you do something for me." I pulled out the cigar stump and let him have a good sniff. I stood up. "Think you can track down someone who smokes these?"

Dogmeat barked enthusiastically, looked at us, wagged his tail, and set off in the general direction of the city center.

"I'm not even sure if he understood you or just ignored you," Piper commented.

"Thanks for filling me with even more hope for this insane plan," I said, not saving on sarcasm. "I am feeling _so_ confident right now."

"Hey, both of you. Have a little faith in my friend here," Valentine said in defense of the dog. "That nose is second to none. He'll find our man."

" _Or_ he'll find the nearest person who smokes San Francisco Sunlights," I noticed. "Because that's the biggest flaw of this entire plan. I doubt this Kellogg guy is the only one who does."

"Stop having so little faith, will you?" Valentine rolled his eyes at me.

"Let's just follow the dog," Piper said. "Because, ultimately, that's the only way to find out."

Dogmeat sped up the pace almost drastically when he noticed that we were following him, so we had to jog to keep up with him. I don't know what the citizens of Diamond City thought when we passed them, but we had to look interesting: the synth, the journalist, and whatever-I-looked-like, all running after a dog. Then again, I suppose they'd seen stranger things already.

"What is it, boy?" I asked when the dog stopped in front of the city gates. "He's not in the city?"

"I haven't even suspected that much," Valentine's gruff voice joined the conversation. I looked at the detective - I was almost getting used to the sight of all those metal parts of his body. Even the pale, fake skin wasn't freaking me out as much as it had used to. I didn't believe that Nick was evil - either he wasn't a synth or Preston Garvey, Paladin Danse, Piper, and everyone in the Commonwealth were wrong about synths. But Piper seemed to like Nick even though she seemed afraid of other synths - and that further confused me. What was Nick Valentine? An exception which only backed up the rule?

"So. We're heading out or staying behind?" Piper asked, and her question brought me back to reality.

"It's still before noon," I noticed after glancing at my Pip-Boy (did I really need that heavy thing on my forearm when I only used it as a watch?) "I'd say we might as well go now. Not like I'm in a hurry, though."

It was true, actually. Despite the amazing feeling that I was finally getting to the bottom of the whole thing, I wasn't particularly eager on meeting the man who had killed my husband. You can call that fear, you can call it trauma, you can call it common sense, but... I was actually afraid of him. Of seeing him.

Of killing him.

Because - if I found him at all - I knew that would be the only possible outcome. There was no institution of law or justice in the Commonwealth - I would have to execute that justice myself.

"I'm with you," Valentine said. For a moment I thought he was referring to what I had been thinking about, but I soon realized that he simply meant leaving Diamond City. "There's not much point in procrastinating your personal vendetta, is there?" He looked down. "Guess I never learned that one," he whispered to himself.

"What was that?" Piper was the first to ask, always the journalist.

"Nothing," he replied so smoothly that I could almost swear he hadn't said anything. "And speaking of leaving, don't you have your sister to take care of, Piper?"

"I've tried that already," I told him. "She insists on following me wherever I go."

"Yes, and you're not getting rid of me that easily." The reporter crossed her arms. "So? We going or what?"

I just threw my hunting rifle over my shoulder, rolled my eyes and followed Dogmeat out of the city.

"Guess it's settled, then," Valentine murmured. "This is gonna be a hard one."

Seeing the once grand city of Boston in this terrible state still managed to make me feel down. But, depressing as it was, at least all that rubble and decay wasn't anything _strange_ to me anymore. It's funny how quickly we humans can adapt to new situations, no matter how crazy they are. But it's true. That's the human nature - we are meant to prevail.

Dogmeat barked at us urgently but thankfully didn't run off. I was beginning to actually have hope for this plan. After all, Valentine was a detective - he was supposed to know what he was doing.

It didn't take even three minutes of walking until my Pip-Boy picked up a new radio station and labeled it as Trinity Tower Radio. As someone who had only seen Classical Radio which played music 24/7 and Diamond City Radio which was pretty much terrible, I was rather curious about this new one. I quickly took out my earbud and connected to the Pip-Boy.

 _"-one of them is coming!"_ A terrified male voice exclaimed. That statement was followed by a short silence. _"This is Rex Goodman speaking. I'm trapped at the top of Trinity Tower - I'm held prisoner by some super mutants who, in all honesty, may be planning on eating me! Please, if you hear this radio signal, send someone to help me get out! I've set this message to repeat... Oh dear. I think one of them is coming!"_ The message cut off a few seconds of static before, again, it began. " _This is Rex Goodman speaking_. _"_

I turned it off.

"Hey, Piper," I asked. "Super mutants are those big green guys, right?" I had read about them in the Wasteland Survival Guide and the description matched the creatures I had encountered while tracking down the Brotherhood of Steel recon team.

"Yeah," the journalist answered absent-mindedly. "Why're you asking?"

"I heard this message on the radio. By some guy called Goldman or something like that, saying he's trapped in Trinity Tower."

"Trinity Tower is super mutant territory," Valentine frowned. At this point, our entire group had stopped. "I don't think he's still alive if that's where he's gone. Do you reckon we should check it?"

"The guy did sound like he needed help," I reasoned. "And we're not in _that_ much of a hurry, are we?" Frankly, putting back my meeting with Kellogg was a tempting idea.

The expressions on their faces told me that I was either really stupid or really not used to the world.

"Um... Not to be rude, but have you ever _fought_ a super mutant, Blue?" Piper raised an eyebrow. "Those things are pretty tough. And they always come in groups."

"And they've kidnapped someone with the intention of eating him," I added. "Come on, there's three of us - four, counting Dogmeat. We can fight them."

"Here's the thing: we're not actually fighting them unless it's necessarry, okay?" Nick scratched his cheek (which looked kind of disturbing, taking that it was one of the places where his metal endoskeleton showed). "Believe me, you don't want to engage in a fight with those guys with only three people."

"And a dog," Piper added.

"Three people and a dog. Against a whole skyscraper of super mutants? Still don't like the odds."

"But we're still saving that Rex Goodman guy, right? I mean, it would be kinda indecent if we just ignored something like that." I bit my lip when I realized that, of all the things I had seen in the Wasteland, decency wasn't one of them. It probably only got you killed.

"You're the one who keeps insisting we do," Valentine pointed out.

We stopped and I realized we had just reached Trinity Tower. Once the highest building in Boston and a symbol of the prime American society of the late 21st century, it now looked much worse than I had remembered - but then again, everything nowadays did.

"Okay, here's the plan." Piper motioned for us to lean in closer to her (although in my opinion being secretive didn't make much sense when we were already standing in the middle of a street). "We go in, sneak past any guards and get to the top floor."

"Hold on," I protested. "Who put _you_ in charge?"

"I did," she replied professionally.

"I hate sneaking around," I complained. " _My_ plan is this: we go in, run to the elevator and get to the top floor."

"That's almost exactly the same as _my_ plan," she noticed.

"Alright, you two." Nick Valentine raised his eyes to the heavens. "We adapt to the situation. Best plan we'll ever come up with. How does that sound?"

"Fine," I agreed. Piper nodded and pulled out a small revolver. I was suddenly hit by the realization that I was the only one of us who had a decent weapon, but it was too late to contemplate things like that. One of the super mutants had already noticed us.

"On second thoughts, Blue," Piper became very pale, "your plan isn't that bad."

We ran past the mutant charging at us (which made it rather confused), into the building - and into a hall full of super mutants! There were at least five at the ground floor, who knew how many higher up. And they all had assault rifles which they put to good use when we entered the building.

I debated on whether or not to engage in combat and pull out one of my weapons, but that was the moment when I noticed the elevator at the other end of the hall. If we just made it there, we wouldn't have to worry about risking our lives in a shooting.

"Come on!" I urged my companions. I grabbed Dogmeat, who was running beside me, and sped up with the dog in my arms. I didn't doubt Piper and Valentine were just behind me, so I quickly pressed the contol button as soon as I was inside.

I breathed a sigh of relief as the elevator door shut open, several bullets embedding themselves in it, but from the other side. I set Dogmeat on the ground.

"You know, for so heavily muscled things that size, I would have thought those mutants would prefer martial arts... Or melee weapons," I wondered aloud. Valentine snorted.

"If they had a little more brain, they would have. The thing about super mutants is that nowadays, their strength is only in number."

" _Nowadays_?" I repeated. "What, were things different before?"

"Actually, yeah. When super mutants were first created like one hundred and fifty years ago, they had some pretty decent intelligence to them," Nick explained. He adjusted his fedora on his head. I didn't bother telling him there was a bullet hole in it. "Something of a threat to humanity, actually. They could have taken over... And they were close to doing that, if it weren't for one Vault dweller..."

"Nick," Piper complained, prolonging the vowel in his name. "Stop with those myths, we stick to the facts. And the facts are, super mutants lose their intelligence as time progresses. Their personality, their characteristic traits, even physical appearance... Poof. All that disappears. And all super mutants are the same."

"More or less," Valentine agreed. "Not all of them, and not on the same level. But yes."

"Wait..." I rubbed my forehead. All of this new information was hard to process. "You mean they're not actually _born_ like this?"

They exchanged glances and I had a strange feeling that there was something they weren't telling me.

There was a familiar ding and the elevator door slid open.

 _"Top floor,"_ the speakers announced.

"Alright," I said, setting aside the previous subject. We could continue that conversation later. "Let's do this."

I pulled out my automatic laser pistol and nodded at my friends. We walked out of the elevator cautiously - but that caution was futile, as it seemed. The super mutants must have already realized someone had tried to storm their little stronghold.

 _"Ha! New humans come rescue Rex?"_ A brute-ish voice came from the intercom speakers on the ceiling. One of the super mutants, I didn't doubt that - their poor knowledge of English grammar was hard to mistake for anything else. _"They are weak! Kill them!"_

"Oops," I stated matter-of-factly.

"You don't say!" Piper exclaimed when three super mutants rounded a corner and attacked us. I instinctively rolled over when one of them swung a nail board at me (oh, so they _did_ use melee weapons after all!)

I aimed the hull of my laser pistol at the nearest enemy and fired three or so quick shots, which was enough to make him stagger. Valentine added several rounds from his 10mm pistol to that, and we were one third through. The other super mutant didn't seem too pleased with the fact that we were killing his friends so easily, because he launched a full assault from his assault rifle - straight at where the two of us were standing. I cried out in pain when a bullet sank in my thigh, and another just below the knee. My body suddenly lost all support and I fell to the ground. I heard an angry growl and Dogmeat jumped at the super mutant, biting viciously. Piper swung the large nail board at it ( _him_? I hadn't seen a single female, so I didn't know if these things had gender at all). If it weren't for the seriousness of the situation, I would have laughed out loud - the large board was easily more than half her size, making her look like a small child. But it did work, and the super mutant fell to the ground, dead.

I tried slipping my backpack off my shoulders, but with little result. My leg hurt like hell.

"See why this wasn't a good idea?" Nick Valentine asked sternly as he knelt down next to me. He opened my backpack, pulled out a Stimpak and injected into my leg. I didn't immediately feel better, but after several seconds, I could move my leg and eventually stand up.

"See why Piper's plan with sneaking around wouldn't have worked, either?" I snapped back at him, angry that I was the only injured one. I rolled my eyes. "Let's just keep going."

 _Armor._

 _I need more armor._

That was my only thought after we had to fight our way through at least twenty more of the super mutants. The only upside was that thanks to looting the bodies of some of the creatures, my friends were now armed with semi-automatic assault rifles. That actually made our progress to the top floor a bit faster and, as much as thoughts like this still made me feel uncomfortable, I was at least getting slightly better at shooting. The assault rifle was too heavy for me to use it for a long time, so I just settled for the laser pistol, which to be honest did as much damage as the conventional weapons. We weren't doing that bad. One of the super mutants had tried to heal itself with a Stimpak before dying and I happily confiscated the drug. I didn't doubt it would come in handy.

"Is it me or has it gone awfully quiet?" Piper asked. I looked up from the weapon I had been reloading - she was right. Although we were very high, at least at the fortieth storey, and the building was such a mess that some of the walls were actually missing (I could see all the way down, and it was scary even though I wasn't usually afraid of heights), the howling of wind was the only sound we could hear. No shooting or even talking among any mutants.

"I don't like this," Nick muttered. "Silence in the Wasteland usually means something's either just been killed or is about to kill you."

I bit my lip and gripped the handle of my automatic laser pistol nervously.

 _"You're the first humans to get this far!"_ The voice from the intercom came on again. _"But you only kill the weakest of us! If they cannot kill puny humans, they are not worthy!"_

We shared heavy looks.

"I hate this guy," I complained aloud.

"I just wonder, what's a super mutant smart enough to use an intercom doing around here kidnapping people?" Valentine narrowed his brows. "I _really_ don't like this."

The next staircase we conquered turned out to be the last and we ran out on an empty space. Not the roof yet, but maybe what used the be the penthouse back when all the walls were there.

"Holy shit!" I swore when, carried by force of momentum, I almost fell off the ledge. Nick grabbed the collar of my leather jacket and pulled me back onto the building.

"Watch it," he warned. I looked down. We were so high above the clouds that I couldn't even see the ground.

I looked around and saw the three super mutants that were standing not that far away and looking at the three of us. The one in the middle, wearing patched-up metal armor, glowered at us.

"Stop _waiting_! Kill them," it ordered - I recognized the voice from the intercom.

I jumped back when they opened fire at us - which meant I jumped into Nick Valentine, who almost dropped his weapon because of that. (I really needed to learn how to pay attention to the battlefield around me.)

Dogmeat jumped onto the nearest super mutant and bit into its arm, making it stagger. Piper took care of that one, so I moved towards the most immediate danger - their leader. It looked exactly the same as the rest, but the armor looked scary. And instead of a rifle like his friends, this one was armed with a minigun! The automatic weapon spat bullets all too quickly for my reflexes, so I didn't manage to hide behind the corner fast enough to avoid getting shot. The leather jacket from Piper was mostly torn now, not to mention at least four bullets had made it to my body. Pain! It hurt like hell!

"Shit!" I heard Piper exclaim before she joined me, pressing her hand to the bleeding wound in her side. "This is bad, Blue. What's our plan?"

"I thought _you_ wanted to be in charge."

"I've decided to abdicate from that position," she said sarcastically. "It was just a bit too much pressure for me."

The two super mutants continued to shoot at us with their automatic weapons - me and Piper were leaning out the corner to shoot back from time to time, Valentine was injecting a Stimpak into Dogmeat's body while hiding behind some desk - so eventually, they had to run out of ammunition. And the moment I heard the sound of the minigun die down, I threw myself into the heat of battle. I wasn't good at shooting, I knew that much so far - the only times I had managed to pull off something like at ArcJet had been when I had been able to take advantage of my surroundings.

I looked around hastily. _Quick, think! Before the super mutant manages to reload_ _that_ _minigun_ _and I die._

I grinned when I noticed what was lying on the table next to me. Those super mutants really needed to learn to hide their suppliers better.

"Take cover!" I screamed after throwing the three grenades at our enemies. I jumped towards the place where I had left Piper and quickly covered my ears.

The explosion wasn't as loud as I had expected - instead, it was longer because it was a chain reaction of three.

I lay on the ground, panting, until Nick knelt down in front of me and offered me a hand. I let him help me up and together, we looked at the destruction I had caused.

"Nice handiwork," he said and nonchalantly lit a cigarette.

"Yeah, yeah." Piper gagged at the sight of the dismembered super mutants corpses. If wasn't a pretty one, I could agree. "What are we here for?"

"You're here to save me?!" Someone exclaimed. We all turned to look at the man. He was locked up in the most intact room on that floor, talking to us through a barred door. "Please tell me you've heard my radio broadcast!"

"Nora here did," Valentine nodded at me. "You should be thanking her."

"To be honest, I've stopped hoping for a rescue." The man adjusted his necktie. For someone who had been kept prisoner by a horde of cannibalistic monsters for days, he looked surprisingly good. "You're the first ones to make it here. I'm afraid the super mutants might have... eaten all the others."

"What _I'd_ like to know is how come you've gotten yourself into this situation," Piper noticed. "What kind of idiot walks straight into super mutant territory?"

"Rex Goodman, one of the finest actors in this wretched Wasteland," the man half-answered, half introduced himself. "I was only hoping to teach these brutal mutants some culture and mannerism, so I came here with hopes of reading them Macbeth. They, uh..." He looked away from us. "They did not seem to appreciate the works of Shakespeare nearly as much as we humans do."

"You. Are. An idiot," I said flatly. "Alright guys, I'd say we leave him locked inside that cage. His own stupidity drove him here."

Piper snickered.

"Alright, that's enough." Valentine stepped forward, apparently done with the two of us acting childishly. "Tell me, Mr Goodman, why didn't they just eat you?"

"I have no idea. They laughed at first, when I performed the play before them. Strong was the only one who actually listened, but they've locked him up too."

"Wait. They've locked you up with a super mutant?" I shook my head. "Sorry, but that's..."

"Oh, no worries. Strong wouldn't harm me," Goodman smiled at the super mutant in the corner of his cell. "He turned out to be a bit more civilized than his savage brothers."

"I'm not opening that door while there's that thing inside there," I protested.

"You said he was friendly?" Nick raised an eyebrow at that. "Would be the first friendly super mutant _I've_ seen."

The said mutant walked up to the door and looked at us.

"Fake human not look friendly too," he noticed. I marveled at the amount of intelligence recognizing that Nick was a different species must have required. "Strong help Rex. Rex tell Strong about Mack Beth and the milk of human kindness."

"The _milk_ of _human kindness_?" I repeated as skeptically as I could.

"Ah yes, the milk." Rex nodded his head. "Strong here seems rather fixated on that one. But, we're here chatting and it's not even safe up here." He looked at us through the bars. "Please open the door."

Piper took out a screwdriver and a box of bobby pins from her bag. "Watch and learn."

After a few seconds, the door was open.

"I know a back exit," Rex offered. "Best way to get back down to earth without having to fight the entire tower of super mutants, an old service elevator. It should still be working."

I glanced at my friends, but it didn't seem either of them had a better idea. I wasn't very thrilled about taking a super mutant with us, but Strong hadn't been hostile so far, so I didn't have any basis to leave or kill him.

"So," I said once we were all packed in the elevator (it was a wonder it still worked, especially considering our combined weight couldn't be small - Nick was partially made of metal, and Strong's mass easily exceeded a few humans'). "Showing Shakespeare to super mutants?"

"It was supposed to work," the actor said, offended. "After all, what better way to fight aggression than with culture?" I didn't answer that stupid question because I was afraid my soldier self might not respond well. "They seemed to be taking it well at first. They listened. Then, they started laughing... Then, they threw me and Strong into that cage - but they didn't know there was a CB radio in there, so I could send out a distress message."

"They did know," Strong argued. "Radio signal attract more humans. More food."

Rex Goodman looked like he was about to faint. "Oh dear. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Strong thought you know."

Piper was covering her mouth and I didn't blame her. I was close to giggling too. Oh, he was an idiot. But I was glad we had rescued him, especially since no one else would be walking into that trap now.

When the elevator reached the ground and we all got out as quietly and quickly as it was possible, Rex thanked us briefly and quickly walked away. At first, I took that behavior as suspicious, before I realized that he had left us with Strong.

"So, um... We'll be going?" I smiled shyly, looking at the super mutant. _Please don't want to come with us. Please don't want to come with us._

"Strong go with humans," he said. I bit my lip. "Humans and roboman help Strong find milk of human kindness! Strong drink milk and make super mutants stronger than humans," he explained proudly.

There was a moment of silence.

"Oh dear," I commented, the only response I could think of.

"Yeah, buddy, we're... not interested." Piper laughed nervously. "Pretty sure you're not gonna find any human who'll help you 'make super mutants stronger than humans', too."

I put a hand over my mouth to cover my smirk.

"The roboman's not helping you, either," Valentine said, crossing his arms. "No offense, big guy, but maybe settle on some less destructive goal. Like maybe if you don't want to harm humans, you could help them."

"Bah!" The super mutant exclaimed, offended. "Strong need human to help find milk of human kindness. Human not help, Strong smash human!"

Dogmeat growled at him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I raised my arms defensively. "That won't be necessary at all! We'll help you, alright?" I nervously glanced around. "Yeah. We'll help you... _But_ we can't do that now. So how about this: we'll go away now, but we'll come back for you and help you find that... milk... thing. Sound like a great deal from where I'm standing."

From where I was standing, it sounded like I was only hoping that he was stupid and that I was very convincing.

"Strong wait and human come back help Strong?" He repeated, apparently trying to understand that whole idea.

"Yes!" I nodded eagerly. "Exactly! So... we'll just..." I looked at my friends and nodded at the door. Piper took the cue and began slowly walking in that direction. "Leave... now..." I didn't stop talking as we backed away out of the building, leaving the super mutant alone, confused. As soon as I was several meters away, I broke into a run. I sprinted until the nearest crossing, took the turn left and pressed my back against the wall.

" _That_ was a close one," Piper exclaimed, panting slightly, when she stopped next to me.

"And some smooth talking back there, Nora." Nick Valentine wasn't bothered by the physical exercise in any way - which was only to be expected, I guess. "Haven't seen anyone talk down a super mutant before."

"He was kind of tame already," I justified myself. I glanced at the sky, then at my Pip-Boy. "Lord. What time is it?"

Late. It was late.

It was so late that we decided to find someplace to spend the night rather than push on during the night - and managed to find it in the form of an abandoned bakery. The windows had been smashed long ago and the whole place was deserted, but we managed to set up a campfire behind the counter. By the time we boarded up the windows enough to provide some privacy and security, it had already gone dark.

I sat closer to the fire when Piper pulled out two packs of mac'n'cheese she had stolen from Kellogg. _Pre-packed food, the exactly same one as back in my-_ I stopped myself before I had the chance to think that. Can't you learn to _move on_ with your life, Nora?

"So," she said, her mouth full of food. "We need to work out some kind of priorities. Because the next time we go charging on a building full of super mutants, I want to be sure that's what we're supposed to be doing. So what is it, Nick?"

The detective put away the screwdriver he had been using to adjust something on his robotic hand.

"It's all down on Nora. After all, we're going after _your_ case."

I put away my food. "The priority... The priority will always be people who are in immediate danger. I want to get my hands on that Kellogg guy, but it's not like I'm in a hurry. Even if Shaun is still alive, it's not my son anymore... _If_ he is alive at all."

Valentine tilted his head.

"If you don't think your kid is still alive, why are you trying to hunt down the kidnapper?"

"Because he's also a murderer," I explained through gritted teeth. "Because I'll be damned if I let the man who killed my husband go on hurting other people. This isn't about revenge - I just..." I hesitated, not sure how to put my feelings into words. "I don't want anyone else to go through what I've gone through."

"Good old preventive approach, then." Valentine sighed. "Tell you what though. About your kid... You don't know, then why are you so afraid of hoping?"

Piper looked away and poked the wood in our campfire with a stick. The stick caught on fire too, of course, so she had to throw it into the flames as well. I watched as it turned into a black, destroyed version of its former self. Everything dies.

"False hope is the worst thing in the world," I said quietly. "It can break you. I'd rather live with the knowledge that Shaun is lost forever than hold on to the belief that I can find him, only to have it shattered."

Nick threw out the bud from his cigarette. He looked at me.

"False hope hurts, but it's better than none."

I let out a bitter laugh. "This entire world is hopeless."

"Alright... This conversation is getting depressing." Piper clapped her hands together. "Anyone know a good story?"

"Huh?" I was kind of baffled by this sudden change of subject.

"You could tell us something from before the War," she offered with a smile. I bit my lip and looked down at the ground. Piper was right - I had _so many_ good memories of that time. But knowing how much the world had changed, and that I would never be able to come back...? I didn't know if I could bear talking about that.

Valentine noticed my hesitance to answer and turned the attention to himself by putting his feet up on the counter. In normal circumstances, a gesture like that would be considered rude, but the entire room was in such a bad state that honestly it didn't matter.

"Have I ever told you about my first case?" He asked - I was guessing the question was supposed to be rhetorical. "Quite a story."

Piper perked up at the word 'story'. She crossed her legs, which made her look like a little child. I smiled involuntarily.

"Go on," she encouraged.

"Alright, what do I begin with? Ah yes, that was how I got my permit to live in Diamond City. Bit of an accident, now that I look back on it." He laughed. "But sure did me good..."

"Hold up," I interjected. "You were a detective already when you first settled down in Diamond City? Where did you live before that?" I didn't mean to be too intrusive, but it just interested me where a synth like Nick could live in peace - it seemed to me that people generally avoided his kind.

"I didn't exactly..." He sighed. "It's complicated. And I don't suppose you want to listen to my whole life story right now."

"We've got time," Piper noticed. "And to be honest, we're already making Blue here uncomfortable with all this poking around her past. Might as well share your own story while you're at it."

"And what about _you_?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. She grinned in response.

"I'm the reporter. I get to listen and judge you two - and always remain uncommitted," she said sarcastically. "Nah, it's fine. Let's share some dirt on each other, why not. Best way to build a strong friendship."

Valentine sighed. "Fine. But I ain't gonna lie, this isn't gonna be a pretty story." He looked around, apparently wondering how to begin. "Alright, so you know about the Institute and that they've created the synths... That's _exactly_ as much as I know. Apparently, when they don't like some project of theirs, they don't bother with cleaning up afterwards... I was a prototype, so that apparently made me useless to them eventually. Not that I would know - had my memory wiped clean. Just woke up one day in some alley, had no idea who I was or what I was..." He shuddered.

"Gosh, Nick." Piper wrinkled her forehead. It seemed she was now uncomfortable that she had touched that subject. "Must have been terrible."

"Just confusing." He shrugged. "It was strange, yes. I found myself wandering about without a purpose or a hope that there might be any life out there in this wasteland..." That was uncannily like my own experience after leaving the Vault. I sympathized with him on the deepest level possible. "Eventually though, I reached one of those smaller settlements you can find all over the Commonwealth. Now, folks didn't know as much about synths back then as they do now, so I was treated with reserve more than with fear. The first person to ever talk to me in my life was a little boy, like ten years old. He walked up to me and asked if I ran on batteries or engine." He laughed. Piper and I shared a giggle too. "I have to admit, not the thing I was expecting to hear. But after other people saw that I didn't harm the kid, they started to warm up to me too. Real friendly folks - the mechanic even gave me a once-over, completely for free. Guess they treated me like some kind of rare attraction or something."

"They sound... nice, actually." I had been preparing myself for some terrible, heart-wrenching story, but this was actually uplifting. "Maybe we could go visit that place someday. You know, pop in and say hi."

"No." Valentine hung his head. "I went back there a few years back. The whole town's been slaughtered by raiders. There's... no one left."

Oh. So that was when the story stopped being so nice and friendly.

"Anyways, when I was back on the road again, I eventually wandered to this little shithole of a place, completely overrun by Gunners."

I raised a finger. "What are Gunners?" I asked. Hopefully not another strange mutated horror - the gun in the name didn't sound good.

"A better-organized, better-equipped bunch of raiders," Piper huffed. "Don't recommend any closer encounters."

"The Gunners are a large group of mercenaries," Valentine explained, shooting her a look. "Though I've to admit that they're not exactly what you'd call 'the gentle type'... Either way, I found that girl being held prisoner there, by four of those assholes. I didn't know who she was, I didn't know how did she come to be there, I only knew that she was in trouble. So I made the quick decision to bust her outta there."

Piper raised an eyebrow. "You took out four Gunners, all by yourself?"

"I didn't have to," he snickered. "Back in the day, you looked like me and you were Technological Mystery #1. I didn't know what I was - how could _they_? So I..." He covered his mouth with his hand, chuckling to himself. "I told them I was rigged to explode and just started going 'beep, beep, beep'. Hardest part of the whole rescue was keeping from laughing as they climbed over each other to get away."

I laughed so hard I almost fell off the stool. Piper had tears in her eyes.

"But that doesn't explain how you got to live in Diamond City," I noticed when I could breathe again. "Or why you became a detective."

Valentine chuckled. "Turned out the girl I had saved was the daughter of the mayor back then. He was so grateful that he offered me a house in DC - some people protested, of course, but I never did try to hide what I was. Guess that was what made folks open up to me, eventually trust me."

"And that's why people _don't_ trust the Institute's synths, which try to pass as humans," Piper explained. "The Institute just snatches you up in the middle of the night and no one even knows you're gone, because you're replaced with a perfect duplicate. But then, someone notices the strange behaviour and bang. Turns out your brother has been dead for a few months and this guy is just a robot pretending to be him." Piper chewed on her pencil mindlessly. "Pretty sure Mayor McDonough's a synth."

I raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"I told her to cut it," the detective shook his head. "But when it comes to Institute paranoia, Piper wins the first prize."

"Gee, thanks, Nicky. So charming."

"Institute paranoia?" I stifled a laugh. "Is that a thing?"

They both looked at me completely seriously. "Yes."

I looked at the fire as silence fell between the three of us. Dogmeat lay his head on my lap, so I offered him the rest of my mac'n'cheese. The dog seemed happy to eat something that was meant for humans. I smiled.

"Alright, kiddos. Lights out." Nick stood up from his chair. "You've both gotta get your share of sleep if you want to keep up tomorrow."

Piper yawned. "Yeah. You're right, Nicky. Alright, maybe I'll find some kind of mattress to crash on here. Night."

I nodded at her. "Goodnight."

Maybe there _was_ hope in this world. Because for a moment there, laughing together with them... It had really felt like I had found friendship.

 **Level up.**

 **New perk: Inspiring - You lead by example! Your companions can not unintentionally hurt you in combat anymore.**


	10. Reunions

**Chapter Nine  
Reunions  
**

* * *

Some time later, I was lying on one of the mattresses Piper had found and staring at the ceiling. (Actually, there was a huge hole in the ceiling, so I was just gazing at the stars above. Two hundred years must make a difference - I didn't know those constellations.)

With an exasperated sigh, I rolled over and picked up the Pip-Boy I had taken off for the night. I touched the screen and the device came to life, bathing the room in a weak green glow. I looked at the time. It was almost midnight.

I couldn't fall asleep. _Again_.

I quietly stood up from my makeshift bed and grabbed my leather jacket. It wouldn't hurt to go for a walk. I rounded the mattress Piper was sprawled on (she had quite a cute little snore) and carefully stepped over the roll of fur on the floor that was the sleeping Dogmeat.

I walked down the stairs while putting on the jacket. Maybe if I went for a five-minute walk, nothing would attack and kill me. I just really needed fresh air. Or company. Or loneliness. I actually wasn't sure what I wanted. I just knew that I was too nervous before tomorrow to just fall asleep.

As soon as I set foot on the floor downstairs, I noticed Nick Valentine sitting by the broken display window. He was smoking a cigarette and looking outside, at the street. I didn't think he saw me at all until he looked straight at me, his robotic eyes faintly glowing in the darkness.

"Couldn't sleep?" He asked and his voice was so full of concern that in a fraction of a second something inside of me opened and I couldn't keep my feelings squashed anymore.

"Can't force myself to close my eyes," I admitted. This late into the night, I couldn't pretend I was fine anymore. Some things really needed being said aloud. "I keep thinking about tomorrow." I sat down next to him. "I miss Nate... He would know what to do. He always did."

Valentine looked away. "You seem to be getting on just fine on your own, if you don't get me the wrong way. It's just that... the way you go on? It's pretty darn inspiring."

"I _know_ I have to be strong, to push on. But I really don't feel that inside." _Late night confessions? Late night confessions._ I was feeling so forthright at the moment that it seemed like a good idea. "I feel empty without him. Definitely not strong."

"That's what love is about, isn't it? Completing each other." He flexed his fingers. "It's only natural you'd feel like that."

"Completing? I don't know. Nate was a soldier, I was a lawyer. How does that work?" I shook my head, smiling fondly at the memory. "We met at university. I was studying social psychology, he was into journalism. Then, the war came about and the government began drafting... Nate _volunteered,_ he had always been the romantic - God, Honor, Fatherland, you know - and had actually _wanted_ to serve in the army... Things changed. I worked for a law degree and finally could become a lawyer, Nate got another promotion. We got married even though the threat of a war was still in the air. It wasn't a good time for beginning a family, but I couldn't help myself - I always felt safe when he was around. After the battle of Anchorage, Nate got recognized as a war hero - like all soldiers who had survived it. I gave birth to our son, Shaun, and it felt like things were finally starting to settle down. Almost a year later, we were finally together. Nate was supposed to give one last speech at the annual Veterans' Hall in Concord..." I opened my eyes. The memory was all gone now, the world - bleak and grey once more. "But the war didn't pass us by. That was when it all went to hell."

"War never changes," Nick said quietly, looking at the empty street outside.

"War never changes," I confirmed bitterly. "Ugh, I hate this world as much as it hates me."

Valentine just shook his head, amused.

"Want a smoke?" He asked, offering me the pack of cigarettes. I didn't smoke - or at least hadn't since I had got pregnant - but I just shrugged now.

"Why the hell not." I accepted the lighter he gave me and lit the cigarette. I inhaled deeply, trying to find comfort in the drug. The world had already gone to hell, so what did it matter? Everything was so irradiated anyway that I would probably put myself in more danger just drinking a Nuka-Cola than smoking.

I sighed. "The truth is, between losing Shaun and losing Nate, it's Nate I miss the most."

I hadn't said that to anyone ever before. Not even to myself; I didn't want to admit that I was almost _indifferent_ to losing my only son. What kind of mother did that make me? What kind of _person?..._ Except it was the truth - I wouldn't care about the kid for a second, if only Nate... If only he had survived.

But Nate was gone, and all I had left was our son.

"It's strange, but I'm not even sad," I realized aloud. "There was anger, but it's burnt out by now. All I feel is emptiness." I looked at the synth, as if expecting him to have the answers. "Isn't that weird? I should be sad."

Nick took the lighter from me and lit a new cigarette for himself. He inhaled a good deal of smoke and then slowly breathed it out.

"Guess that's a good thing," he said eventually. "It means you're moving on with your life."

"But what if I'm _scared_ of moving on?"

"Scared of moving on? What do you mean by that?" He seemed genuinely confused.

"Let's face the truth: I've gotten a second chance to live my life. By some miracle, I have survived the thing that killed billions of others. I got a new life." I bit my lip. "I certainly don't want to live it alone, that would destroy me. But... how can I ever learn to love someone again?" I motioned to everything around us. "Look at this world - it's _hell_. Look at what I've been through, what I've _lost_. I can't see how I'll ever be able to feel love again."

"You're one straightforward person, you know?"

"Yes, I've been told that before." I glared at him. "I'm trying to be serious here."

"Nora..." Valentine shook his head with a smirk. He breathed out some smoke. "I'm in no way an expert on these things, but I know that you need to give yourself some time. You're still grieving over your husband's death - you're not thinking straight. You don't want that to happen again, you don't want to be alone, I get that. But the thing is... Love is the single most beautiful thing a living creature can experience. It's not predictable, it's not understandable... And if there's one thing I can tell you for sure, it's that love is always a comfort for the aching of heart."

That was surprisingly beautiful - and poetic too. Now I felt stupid for the way I had been feeling.

"How do you know all of this, Nick?" I asked quietly.

"Haven't you seen the sign on my door? It's not a broken heart for no reason."

I looked down.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly. "I didn't mean to..."

"It's fine. At least, that's what I tell myself." He waved a hand. "Hey. Don't you go worrying about me."

"Okay..." I said quietly, still not entirely convinced that he was alright. I needed to change the subject, quick. "So _how_ did you become a detective in the end? Because I think I missed that part of your story."

He chuckled.

"Opened up a fix-it stand in Diamond City after I moved in, and that's how I made my living. Not that I need much to live. Don't eat, don't sleep... Still, it was fair work, and I've got quite the hand for mechanics. But... I guess folks never really forgot that I had rescued the mayor's daughter. They asked me for help in other similar cases every now and then. Someone's gone missing? Go to Valentine. Your girlfriend ran off with another? Get the synth. To be honest, this work gave me so much happiness that at first I didn't even consider actually _charging_ people - only when it got more serious than my repair business, I decided to make this a thing. So with time, I was no longer Valentine, the synth - I became Nick Valentine, Diamond City's resident private detective." He shook his head, smiling. "I love it, honest." He threw out the cigarette and looked at me critically. "And now that you got your story, go get some sleep."

"Yes, _dad_ ," I said sarcastically, but complied. I had this funny feeling inside of me - like I had lost something, but at the same time had got something too. In a way, it was a good feeling; there was someone I could talk to about my problems, someone who understood.

But it was also depressing... The most decent person I've met in the Commonwealth wasn't even human.

That's what the world had come to.

oooOOO***OOOooo

Next morning, after a breakfast which consisted of 200 years old Sugar Bombs cereal (and no milk), we had to hit the road again. The chances of tracking Kellogg were rather slim already, and it was clear Dogmeat was having a hard time following the scent now, so I was worried we might lose the trail. We didn't.

It had been exactly a day since we left Diamond City when he finally found something.

We were in the suburbs of Boston - the other side of the city, actually. I had a funny feeling about this area for over half an hour. Nothing had attacked us for a long time, and that was much more alarming than any attack could be. Had my mind actually reverted to some primal, prey-predator way of thinking? If so, I was the prey. Because the lack of any other living creatures around here had to mean there was some dangerous predator that had killed them all

"Kellogg," I growled, tracing my hand along a splatter of blood on the road. The blood belonged to a dead raider, who was lying nearby. Someone had been here lately and shot this guy up pretty badly. Who else than a professional mercenary?

"Looks like his handiwork," Piper nodded and helped me stand up from where I had crouched to check the body. "We must be getting closer."

"And so the hunter has become the prey," Valentine mused. "I've got a strange feeling about this... You're right, Piper. We're getting closer."

"Closer to Kellogg," I agreed, loading several newly-scavenged bullets into my hunting rifle. "Closer to Shaun. Closer to ending all of this." I bit my lip, then looked down at the ground. "...I hope."

Dogmeat barked urgently and we all looked in his direction.

"Looks like he's got something," Nick noticed aloud. The dog barked again and, seeing that he had our attention, ran towards a smaller alley. We exchanged glanced and quickly followed him there. For a moment I was afraid we had lost track of him, but eventually we found him, scraping at the door to a small warehouse.

"Here?" Piper knelt down next to Dogmeat to pet him. "He's in here?"

"Figures," I said, looking at the building. "The place is heavily fortified - had been even back in my tim... I mean, _before the War_." I dug my nails into my palms (again _._ It wasn't enough to draw blood, of course, but I was beginning to notice little lines on my skin. I shook my head - that wasn't important now. "I wouldn't find a better hideout if I were some shady mercenary."

I tried the handle, but the door was locked from the inside.

"Awfully calm, isn't it?" Nick wrinkled his nose. "I don't like it."

"Yeah, neither do I. Let's find some way inside."

"Hey, um... Nora." He grabbed the sleeve of my leather jacket. I looked over my shoulder, surprised to see the concerned expression on the synth's face. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Of course I am." It wasn't a lie, not exactly. My heart was beating maybe a bit faster than usual, but I didn't feel particularly distressed. "Why're you asking?"

"We've talked about this," Piper drummer her fingers on the surface of her bag, "and we... Just... If you need to do this on your own, we'll understand."

My eyes widened for a second when I realized what that truly meant. That they would respect my privacy even with something that dangerous. A wide smile spread on my face.

"You guys..." I looked down, still smiling. "Thank you so much. But after what we've been through together, I think I'll feel more secure having you with me." I huffed. "If you're insane enough to follow me, that is."

Valentine let go of my arm. "I doubt either of us had been in their right mind even before you came along," he laughed. "You can count on us to have your back."

I nodded.

"Great. Now, for that entrance..."

It took us almost half an hour to find a door that wasn't chained, locked, barricaded, or in any other way rendered useless. The message was clear: we were expected. There was nothing we could do but play along, to be honest.

We entered the building as cautiously as it was possible: with our pistols out and our guard up. The room we had just entered was empty.

"I don't like this," Piper said in a low voice. "I really don't like this, something's wrong here."

"Got shivers down my spine," I agreed. I had been expecting something or someone to attack us as soon as we made it there. Instead, it was almost peaceful. And, of course, in an abandoned military warehouse like this, peaceful meant creepy.

Nick Valentine just narrowed his brows. He took a step ahead and froze.

"Oh, crap." He said weakly. I cocked my head at him - he didn't usually just throw swearwords without reason.

"What?" I asked. "What is it?"

If synths like him could swallow, I was almost sure that was what he tried to do.

"I think the two of you should go on ahead," he said slowly. "Like, soon."

"Nick?" Piper reached out to touch him, but he shook his head.

"Don't touch me now. You might set it off if you move me." He let out a breath, staring at the ground. "...I'm standing on a landmine."

I stirred. Piper clenched her fists.

"The way I see it," Nick continued in spite of our reaction, "if you leave this room now, I'll just have the space to get far enough in time after it sets off."

"Great," I muttered. "We've been here for ten seconds and we're already losing one of our own."

"I'll be right behind you," the synth promised. "No way am I letting myself die over some stupid floor trap."

Piper smiled and grabbed my arm.

"Come along, Blue. Nicky'll be alright." She seemed just a bit too cheerful for my liking.

She pressed me against the wall in the other room.

"We're safe!" She called to Valentine - even though she was standing right by the door.

I heard a click, then some quick beeping. Nick ran into our room and Piper just barely slammed the door behind him. The explosion that happened afterwards was enough to knock her (and the door) to the ground.

She coughed, apparently satisfied with herself. Her face was cut by splinters in several places.

"Piper!" Nick exclaimed. "What the hell was that?!"

"Saved our lives," she said proudly. "Especially yours."

I whacked her across her head, knocking down the red press cap she always wore. "You're an idiot, Pipes!"

"Thanks." She grinned. "But you really shouldn't let your guard up like that. Next thing you know and-" She pointed her pistol at the doorway to the corridor, but it was empty. "Huh. I kinda really thought there'd be something there."

I shook my head. Somehow, I couldn't smile in these circumstances. We were so close... Kellogg was here, I just felt it.

So the final confrontation would happen here, in this old, pre-War military outpost... _Military_ , _how appropriate_. Pre-War. This was almost _too_ appropriate to be a coincidence.

I narrowed my brows.

"We should get going," I said with new determination. "I don't care what he throws at us, Kellogg _will_ pay for what he's done."

The next door led to a hallway, and a staircase at its end. I wrinkled my forehead.

"Up or down?" Nick wondered aloud. "You know, I'd toss a coin, but those don't exactly operate anymore."

"Hmpf." I kicked a small piece of concrete which lay on the floor. "Down. Did you see the building from outside?" I took the first step onto the stairs. "It's just two stories. And I'm expecting a bit more resistance than just that. He's gotta be hiding underground, the coward."

Nick and Piper exchanged looks, but neither of them said anything. I only gripped my laser pistol more tightly when I heard some sound coming from ahead.

Being stealthy had never been my strongest side, and I had always preferred to see the enemy ahead of me. But still, I didn't need to look for my mind to match the sound I was hearing now with something I had been through before.

Metal. Metal, but muffled.

"Synths," I whispered, my eyes widening. "No... The Institute? Here?" I clenched my fists. "Why today? Why are they always where I go?!"

Piper opened her mouth to ask a question, but the only sound that left her was a scream when a blue beam of energy hit her in the back.

"Warning! Intruders on Ground Floor Staircase," a synth none of us had noticed had managed to approach us from behind.

 _That_ was why I didn't like sneaking around!

"Piper!" I cried out and threw myself to help her. Except she wasn't injured. "What the hell...?"

"Leather," she said weakly. "Good against energy damage."

I hadn't realized it before, but both her red coat and the jacket she had given me were thick leather. "So people look for damage protection in all clothing now, is it?"

"You can stop and chat later!" Nick was holding the other synth in a headlock, using the robot as a shield. Three more synths from downstairs were now shooting at us.

One of them managed to hit me straight in the chest and I was eternally grateful to Paladin Brandis for giving me that combat armor chestpiece. The beam of energy didn't do anything to me, except for smoldering the Brotherhood of Steel emblem.

I remembered that my laser pistol needed reloading and swore aloud. _I should really think about those kinds of things when the time is right!_

I pulled out my assault rifle. While I didn't mind having it holstered on my backpack, holding the heavier gun in my hands was a bit hard. I managed to aim and shoot at the synths, but with too much spread. I almost didn't control the flow of bullets.

I did manage to bring down two of the synths. A well-aimed shot from Nick's revolver destroyed the third's visor. The blinded robot was kicked off the stairs by Piper.

Nick leaned his head back and sighed.

"This isn't nice at all," he summed up. "One, we've just officially announced our presence to everyone and every _thing_ in the building. Two, those were Institute synths. Which means there are higher forces at work here than just your son's kidnapper."

I stared at him, something completely different on my mind.

"And you're... alright with this?" I asked, looking at the destroyed robots on the ground.

"If what you're asking is if I have a problem with killing these things, I _don't."_

I blinked, surprised at how easily he had called those robots so similar to himself 'things'. Then again, I hadn't considered them alive for a moment, either. Nick was right about one thing - there was a huge difference between the old synths and the new ones. Even if I still hadn't seen a new one, I knew they could pass as humans. (So maybe I _had_ seen one, but didn't even know it. That thought was a bit scary.)

"More synths coming," Nick said. "From upstairs."

"Huh?" I turned to him in a fraction of a second. "How'd you know that?"

"Well, can't _you_ hear it?" He grabbed my arm. "Doesn't matter, no time. You said down, right?"

I heard the synths' metal footsteps from the stairs above us now, too. There were many... At least ten.

"Yeah," I said quickly. "Down sounds good."

There was a synth on the stairs ahead of us, but Piper just pushed it down the stairs like the previous one. We ran over it on our way down.

"Elevator, quick!" I noticed aloud before pushing the call button. The light lit up, but the elevator hadn't arrived yet. "Shit!"

The synths were getting closer.

"Seriously?!" Piper exclaimed, aiming her pistol at the other end of the hallway. If this elevator didn't come in time, we would be done for!

The first synth that rounded the corner was killed by three bullets from Nick's revolver and one from Piper's pistol. The second one managed to shoot and would have hit me if I hadn't moved aside in time.

The elevator doors opened and the three of us practically jumped inside, me and Piper frantically pushing the door-closing button.

The rest of the synths didn't make it to us before the elevator set off.

We rode in silence - the only sound was me changing the fusion cell of my automatic laser pistol.

When the doors slid open, I cautiously peeked out to see what environment we had been brought to. I fired my gun almost without thinking as soon as I saw the two synths ahead.

There were more of them here than in the ArcJet building, I realized as, with help of my friends, I destroyed both of them. I didn't like it. And the way they were just waiting... It was clear they had been expecting us.

 _"Well, if it isn't my old friend, the frozen TV dinner. Last time we met, you were cozying up to the peas and_ _celery. Never thought you'd come knocking on my door."_ The voice that came from the intercom was eerily confident, and the sarcastic tone of his voice only made me angrier.

"I'm going to kill him," Piper growled.

"Don't you dare. He's _mine_." I narrowed my eyes. "Frozen TV dinner? What a child." I raised my eyes at the speaker, convinced there was also a camera there. "You can do better than that, Kellogg!"

Piper looked like she was concerned this wasn't the best course of action, but she didn't comment.

"I'm not turning back now," I said, loudly enough for the camera to register it.

 _"Look... Nora, wasn't it? I'm sorry your house has been a wreck for two hundred years. But that doesn't give you the right to invade mine. Leave."_

"Not a chance," I muttered. Besides, I had every right to invade his house after he had murdered my husband and kidnapped my son.

I ruthlessly shot down the next synth before it even noticed me. I opened the door to reveal yet another segment of the hallway. This time, it was empty.

 _"You're pissed off, I get it. I do, really. But... Whatever you're hoping to achieve here? It's not gonna go your way."_

The next door was automatic, remote controlled.

 _"Alright."_ Kellogg sighed. _"You want to talk so badly? Fine. Come on in, my synths are standing down. Let's talk."_ The door opened. I gripped the handle of my pistol more tightly, and carefully stepped over the threshold.

The door shut closed the instant I walked through it. I immediately jumped forward to avoid being squashed.

"Nora!" Valentine exclaimed - from the other side. "You alright?!"

"Yeah..." I said weakly. Of course, it wasn't about _hurting_ me - not yet, at least. It was about cutting me off from my friends.

"You can't go in there, Blue," Piper warned me. "He _wants_ you alone, to confront him when no one can help you."

Oh, so now I _needed_ help? I gave her a dark look (which she couldn't see through the door).

"What choice do I have?" I asked flatly.

"I'll find some other way around," she promised. "Try not to get killed meanwhile."

I narrowed my eyes and dug my nails into my skin. I looked down, surprised to see that I had drawn blood. _Damn it, I've got to be more careful. Enough people are out to hurt me already; I don't need to add myself to that list._

I walked through the newly-opened door on the other side of the hallway. There were two synths in the room, but they left as soon as I entered it. Aside from them, there was also...

"And here she is, ladies and gentlemen!" He raised his arms to show he was unarmed. "The most resilient woman in the Commonwealth!"

...the man who had murdered my husband.

"Where is Shaun?!" I asked, pointing the hull of my laser pistol at his head and hoping that I looked threatening enough. "Where's my son?!"

He raised a single finger to silence me, completely unphased by the weapon I was aiming at him. "All in due time. First, let me just congratulate you. To be honest, I was giving it 50/50 odds that you make it to Diamond City before the Commonwealth rips you to shreds. And I am _most_ pleasantly surprised!" He clapped his hands. "Oh, you were _amazing_! Absolutely _amazing_! Who would have thought some soft pre-war housewife could handle the Commonwealth and come out on top? And gathering allies already, my my. For the record, let me say - joining the Brotherhood of Steel? _That_ one really managed to impress me." Kellogg shook his head, looking at the floor with a smug smirk. Then, he frowned. "Oh, but you have no idea what you're getting yourself into."

If all he wanted to do was to make a show of how well-informed he was, he did it right. _Where_ had he gotten all that information from?

"So you know what I've been doing," I said warily, not sure if I should lower my weapon. He didn't seem to have much consideration for my threats. I shrugged, trying to play cool. "Big deal." _How does he know?!_ "You know why I'm here as well, then."

"Of course. The oldest story in the world, isn't it? A grieving mother, ready to tear the world apart just to find her child... The thing is, you're a bit too late to get him back." He cleared his throat, suddenly more serious. "Listen, Shaun's a great kid. Not much of a 'baby' anymore, but still - he's alive and well. Only... he's not _your_ son anymore. I think you already figured that one out. A little bit of time has passed while you were frozen in that icebox. He's a bit older than you were expecting, am I right?"

"Where is he?" I asked in a low voice. All that talking about was making me nervous. Sure, he was hiding something, but how long until he let me in on that secret?

"I'm truly sorry... Really, I am." Kellogg pulled out a small revolver from his shoulder holster. But he didn't do any hostile movement towards me, just started toying with it absently. "I don't think you could understand how or why, but I _am_ sorry that it had to come to this. You didn't do anything wrong, to be honest - just wanted fair justice. I get that. But..." He looked up from the revolver to look at me. "Not this time, Nora." I shivered when he used my first name. "To think all you had to do was just walk away and forget this all... You would have been fine. No one would have gotten hurt... But who am I to judge? Hell, I even understand you."

That was in no way the answer to my question.

"Where is he?" I repeated.

"He's in a place where he's loved and cared for." Kellogg put his fingers together. "In a place where he's happy, in the place he calls his home. In the place that's _been_ his home for _years_."

" _Where_." I dropped my voice to a dangerously low tone.

He sighed, seeing that I wouldn't abandon the question.

"The Institute."

It was like a punch in the stomach. For a moment, I just stood there, staring ahead without a word, too surprised to even gather my thoughts. I shook my head.

"The Institute is _real?_ I... I thought it was just an urban legend..."

"Don't act so surprised," he rolled his eyes. "You had to have been expecting this."

"But..." But I wasn't ready for something like that. I hadn't been supposed to get myself tangled in this whole Institute business. All I had wanted was to take my son and find some peace for both of us. That plan had changed as time went by, of course. I had seen how terrible life in the Commonwealth was and now I wanted to help. I had joined the Brotherhood of Steel and now I had my obligation to them. I had made friends in the Commonwealth and now I didn't want to leave them. All of those things that had affected my point of view hadn't affected my main goal, which had always been getting revenge on the murderer of my husband. Even when I had realized how small the chances of finding Shaun were, I hadn't stopped _hoping_ \- not really. None of those things had made me reconsider my entire plan.

But now, it was like a bucket of cold water - my brain was trying to adjust to all that new information. Shaun was still alive, but he had grown up without me. He was in that very Institute everyone was afraid of. I probably wouldn't see him again. The Institute were really the ones responsible for Nate's death.

I stood there, unmoving.

"What? Too hard to process?" Kellogg shook his head at me. "I _know_. But I hope you can at least appreciate all that they've done for the kid. What kind of life do you think he would have in this wasteland? The Institute gave Shaun a chance _you_ wouldn't ever be able to." He closed his eyes. "He's happy. I hope that's enough to give you your peace before we have to end this."

"End...?" I repeated hoarsely.

Kellogg slowly reloaded his revolver.

"It's nothing personal, you understand. But with everything you know, I can't just let you go. You're a potential enemy for the Institute, especially with your little drive for revenge. The thing is, we're just pawns, you and I. The guys pulling the strings... They ain't even here. And I doubt you'll ever meet them."

"So what's the point of telling me all of that, huh?" I asked darkly, desperately trying to play for time. I noticed some movement behind him. "If you just wanted to kill me all along?"

"Because I reckon you deserve the truth. We're not that different, you and I. The only difference is that I'm standing on the right side of the gun."

He pointed the gun at my head while I quickly looked around, taking in every single detail of what was happening. I needed to be aware of everything.

"Famous last words?" He asked. I smiled widely when my playing for time finally paid off.

"Just one," I said, staring at a very particular spot behind him. "Piper!"

The girl whacked Kellogg across the head with a fire extinguisher. I didn't want to know where she had gotten it, but it angered the mercenary enough to fire the gun at her instead of me. Piper instinctively covered herself with the extinguisher and the bullet tore through the metal, white foam splashing all over.

I took the cue to swing my laser pistol at him and knock the revolver out of his hand. I quickly aimed the pistol at his head, fully aware that I couldn't afford to hesitate to shoot this time.

"Oh no, you don't!" Kellogg exclaimed and charged at me headfirst. I fired the gun at him, but that didn't kill him. Startled, I stared as he continued forward. I managed to jump back when he swung a knife at me.

I risked another shot at him and this time managed to hit him in the shoulder. He swore, but that didn't slow him down. I shot again, terrified when the energy beam that reached his stomach didn't kill. _How can one person survive being shot up that much?!_

I pulled the trigger again, but the laser pistol only clicked. I must have used up the fusion cell inside. I looked up, despaired. Kellogg hadn't moved to pick up his handgun - at this point, he knew that I wouldn't be able to reload before he reached me.

He pushed the knife into my abdomen and I sucked in a breath, too shocked to even scream.

I took a single step back, pressing my hands onto the wound in my right side. But I managed to smile when I noticed Piper standing behind Kellogg, aiming her revolver at his head.

"Do it!" I shouted. He raised his eyebrows at my order, for a moment convinced that I was talking to him. But I soon saw the realization on his face as he moved to turn around - but he wasn't quick enough.A single gunshot filled the air, and he stumbled backwards before finally falling to the ground.

He didn't get up again.

 _Dead_.

The man who had killed my husband was dead. I had finally gotten my revenge. I had accomplished my goal, I had fulfilled the promise I had given... Finally, I had made it.

Somehow, that didn't make me feel good at all.

I took several steps back until I could feel the wall behind my back and lean on it for support. Piper was immediately beside me, throwing all weapons aside and instead searching through her messenger bag.

"Hang on in there, Blue," she said frantically. I let myself chuckle, still pressing my hands onto the wound in my side.

"I'm not dying just yet," I smirked, even though all I wanted to do was grit my teeth in pain. "So please don't act like I am."

"Yeah," she nodded, "of course. Sorry."

There was a moment of silence as she took out a roll of bandages and a bottle of disinfectant in a state that made me question whether it was even safe to use it. She spilled some of it onto a piece of cloth and I just watched without a word, letting her roll up my blood-stained shirt.

"You shot him," I said eventually.

"Guess I did, yeah." She pursed her lips. "Not the first time I've killed someone. And Kellogg had it coming."

"It's just that you stole my kill," I grinned, leaning my head back as she pressed the damp cloth to my wound.

Piper snickered and shook her head. "Sorry about that. Next time, I'll be sure to let you get cut up more lethally before I intervene."

"No, I just... I _do_ wish I got to be the one who killed that bastard, but I..." I let out a breath. "I'm just glad he's gone."

"That makes the two of us," Piper said seriously.

"That makes the _three_ of us," Valentine added as he walked into the room, limping slightly. He was pressing his palm to his left thigh. "I hope you had fun, two-against-one, while I had to fight all those synths back there on my own."

Piper bit her lip. "So sorry for leaving you, Nick. I figured Nora needed more help than you."

He knelt down next to us and gave me a criticizing look.

"Hope it was worth it," he said softly. "I can tell this isn't gonna heal nicely. So, did he tell you where's your kid?"

I let Piper apply the bandages to my wound. The blood soaked right through almost immediately, so she had to add three layers before the makeshift dressing was more or less efficient.

"You could say that," I said in response to the detective's question. "I learned _some_ things..."

"So, what did you find out?" He asked in an encouraging tone. I looked at their faces - they really did care, they really wanted to help... But it was a hopeless cause.

"What do I even begin with?" I asked quietly. "The part where Kellogg turned out to be working for the Institute?" I clenched my fists. "Or the part where he told me they've got Shaun?"

"The Institute?" Piper repeated. "Oh boy... I'm so sorry, Blue. I had no idea it was that bad."

I motioned towards the bandages wrapped around my waist.

"You _think_?" I didn't spare them any sarcasm. "Can't be _that_ bad."

Nick made an expression that suggested something like that wouldn't have happened if he had been there with us at the time.

"Except this _is_ where the trouble begins," he mused. "No one really knows where the Institute is, much less how to get there. Not even I, and the bastards made me."

"Then I'm not ever getting him back, am I?" I winced when I put too much weight on the left side of my body. "I'll just... have to accept that he's gone."

"No way!" Piper grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to look into her shining, jade green eyes. "You're not giving up here, got it? I've been researching the Institute for over a year by now, I'm sure if we work on all the info I've got in my office back in Diamond City, we _can_ come up with something. But, Blue... Don't give up like that, damn it. I'll help you out for all it's worth, but we're all gonna need your commitment. Got it?"

She was so passionate about it that I even managed to fake a smile. "Yeah. Got it." I nodded my head. "If there's anything on the Institute, we'll find it."

I didn't know if Piper was fooled by my pathetically fake enthusiasm, but she let go of me and stood up. "That's the spirit. I'll go on ahead, check up on Dogmeat, but you two don't take too long." She looked around the room and shuddered. "This place gives me the creeps."

I watched in silence as she called for the elevator and just left. I hung my head.

"Say, Valentine... This Institute. Do they have any enemies or... I don't know, any way to get to them?"

"Beats me. There's supposedly the Railroad, but that's more of an urban legend than a solid lead. People prefer to pretend the Institute doesn't exist than to oppose it. This is gonna be one hard case to close."

"This is hopeless," I whispered. Nick looked down at me.

"Hey." He put a hand on my shoulder. "Chin up. I know the night just got hell of a lot darker, but it can't last forever."

"Thanks," I said, looking at the tips of my shoes. Some blood was splattered on them, and I didn't even know whose it was. "I'd really want to believe that."

"Can you stand with that wound?" Valentine asked, concerned.

"Yeah," I replied, standing up and leaning on the wall. "A bit dizzy, but I'm fine."

"You must have lost some blood there. If you ask me, our first stop is some doctor."

"First stop is claiming my loot," I said, staring at Kellogg's dead body. The fancy custom revolver was lying on the ground a few feet away. "I'm definitely taking _this_." I winced in pain as I bent to pick up the gun. "Also, I guess it wouldn't hurt to see what he had on himself..."

I knelt down next to the body.

"You know," I said quietly as I searched the pockets. "This is one of the biggest differences between now and _then_. When somebody dies, no one... They just leave the body." I hung my head. "I know Kellogg's done terrible things, but does he really not deserve to be buried? I still hate him, but I don't hate _anyone_ that much."

And yet, I'd killed people already. I'd killed many people in the last week, and I hadn't even considered giving them a burial. Maybe it was the fact that death was now so much more common, that you'd see dead bodies every so often and the sight became almost normal. But still... I didn't feel any remorse for killing the men I'd killed. It was always self-defense, or defending others. I had always had a reason. But it still didn't justify the fact that I left their bodies like that...

 _This world, it's harsh. In this world, blood flows a lot and there's loads of suffering and killing. Basically, I'm trying to say that if you had any restraints before looting the body of a dead man for supplies, don't have them anymore. Because that's what you gotta do to survive out here._

That had been first advice I had got in the Wasteland. The first truth I was taught about this world. Even the dead did not get to get their peace.

I sighed, hiding the large pouch of bottlecaps into my backpack. Maybe at least I could pay for medical treatment with this. Kellogg's revolver was also nice - a modified version of a .44 Magnum, if I knew my way around guns as well as I thought. I even had some ammo for it, mostly scavenged from Kellogg's house in Diamond City.

"What's that?" I wondered aloud as I noticed something strange on the corpse. There was some kind of metal implant in the neck. Curiosity took the better of me and I tried to pull it out. It went surprisingly easy, although I splattered my hands with blood. "I've never seen anything like it," I said, turning the compound in my hands.

"Show me," Nick asked. I handed him the implant. "Huh. Looks like some kind of pain inhibitor..."

"That's why he didn't react to me shooting him up that much," I realized. "And..."

Piper had shot Kellogg in the head, so a good part of it was now a bloody mess, but I could very well see the shining of metal on his temple. The object that I took now was completely different - I had never seen anything like it, even though it was clear this was some kind of implant too.

"All that tech..." I looked at the body again, this time with disgust. "He was barely human."

"I guess." Valentine shrugged. I suddenly remembered who I was talking to - _he_ was barely human too, even if in a different way. He stood up. "If you're about done with that necroscopy of yours, Nora, we could get going. Piper's not of those who take pride in their patience."

I quickly wrapped both cybernetics in a cloth and hid them in my jacket's pocket.

"I'm done..." I took one more look at the corpse. The pool of blood beneath it had grown slightly larger over the last few minutes. I looked away. "Let's go."

The elevator took us to the ground floor again, but this time on the other side of the building. The door which had been chained before was now left ajar, the metal chain lying on the floor nearby. Piper had been here, then.

"Look who I found," the journalist said happily as soon as the two of us left the building. She pointed at the German Shepherd. "He waited for us!"

Dogmeat whimpered affectionately and cuddled to her. I was guessing he liked Piper most out of the three of us.

"What now?" Piper asked. "As I said, I have loads of stuff on the Institute in my office in Diamond City. And you could use a professional doctor's care, Blue."

I nodded my head without a word. "Diamond City it is, then..."

I looked at the screen of my Pip-Boy. 30th October 2287. It had been exactly a week since I woke up in this nightmare of a world, and I still didn't have all the answers.

I had thought today would finally bring me all the information I wanted, but it seemed I only had more questions now.

And the Institute was involved... Until meeting Nick Valentine, I had had serious doubts about whether the Institute was even real. Even now, with everything put so plainly, I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that that shady organization everyone in the Commonwealth was afraid of... that _they_ were the ones responsible for ripping my family apart.

I really hadn't wanted to be a part of anything that big... I still didn't want to.

I sighed, looking at the ground beneath my feet. I could more or less walk on my own and ignore the pain in my side, but we couldn't keep as fast a pace as before. My friends tried to cheer me up at first, but they both gave up soon and just accepted that I needed some time to think things through.

We spent the next night under some half-collapsed bus stop. It made an actually nice hideout, and since Nick didn't need to rest like we humans did, me and Piper had the perk of having someone watch over us as we slept.

The only thing that was distressing about the location were the bodies of three or so people nearby - bloody and dismembered. Just looking at it made me feel somewhat sick.

I didn't know what kind of creature could do something like that to a person, but I knew for sure that it wasn't something I would want to meet.

"This is just depressing," I said. "Isn't there anyone who would try to maintain at least some order around here?"

Piper sighed and raised her eyes to the sky. "If you want some kind of noble military force that would selflessly protect innocent civilians, you're in the wrong place, Blue." She glanced at me. "I mean, sure, there's the Brotherhood of Steel in the Capital Wasteland, and the NCR in the Mojave, don't count on the kindness of strangers in the Commonwealth."

I narrowed my brows. "Did you say Brotherhood of Steel?"

"As I said, not in the Commonwealth, so I don't know why it would matter to you."

I raised a finger. "But, you said Brotherhood of Steel as in an actual military force? Not just, I don't know, like four people?"

"You're acting weird, Blue. And I mean more than usual." Piper raised an eyebrow. "But yeah. The Brotherhood is a pretty big deal in the Capital Wasteland. Here in the Commonwealth, though... Well, there _were_ the Minutemen, but no more."

"The Minutemen?" I repeated. Another group I had encountered before. _And Preston Garvey said he's the last Minuteman._

"They were a volunteer militia force," Valentine explained. "Of the people, for the people, that kind of agenda. It actually worked for, like, five years. Then, things fell apart. Some people did wrong things, some people mistrusted other people... Eventually, no one had faith in the Minutemen anymore."

Piper smiled bitterly. "And you can't exactly have a volunteer army without _volunteers_."

"Still, if I were you, I'd be interested." Nick drummed his fingers on the pile of rubble that served as our small shelter's wall. "The Minutemen tangled with the Institute once, so if you want to gather allies against our favorite boogeyman, the Minutemen'd be the first to go."

"You said the Minutemen don't exist anymore."

"They're scattered to the winds, sure. But don't mistake all things that are gone for dead." He shrugged. "And the fallen Minutemen are still a better lead than the nonexistent Railroad."

"The Railroad _does_ exist, Nick!" Piper protested. "They're just very secretive."

"I've heard that name before," I said, wrinkling my forehead. "The Railroad... You mentioned it before. That it's some urban legend."

"It's more than that," Piper said. "The Railroad is a group of people devoted to helping runaway synths escape from the Institute. But they're secretive." She raised her eyebrows. " _Ultra_ -paranoid." She bit her lip. "But they're real, I'm sure of it."

"Aren't you a bit obsessed with conspiracy theories?" I smirked.

"She thinks that Mayor McDonough is a synth spy," Nick pointed out.

"It makes _sense_ , Nicky."

I really didn't want to listen to the two of them quarrel about that, however friendly a quarrel it might be.

"Goodnight," I said simply, set the alarm in my Pip-Boy to wake me at eight, and lay down. "Don't be too loud, you two."

The next thing I knew, Piper lay down beside me, an offended pout on her face. I snickered at that.

For the first time in the Commonwealth, I fell asleep feeling almost safe. Then again, it wasn't surprising that I should be feeling like that.

After all, I had my friends with me.

oooOOO***OOOooo

The road to Diamond City which had taken us little more than a day before, now that I was injured required almost three times that much. As a result, we arrived at the Fenway Park stadium sometime after noon, 2nd November.

We had missed Halloween.

At least, that's what Nat told me while Piper organized all of her research to render it actually usable. People in the Wasteland still celebrated some holidays, apparently. Which reminded me of the upcoming Veterans' Day on 11th. I didn't know why I still cared about it that much - there would be no one I could celebrate it with, after all. No more soldiers. No more war.

The world had ended already.

"I've got _nothing!"_ Piper exclaimed, angrily standing up from her place behind the desk covered with newspapers and notes. "All those records on the Institute and _none_ of them say anything about how to get there!"

I shook my head. "Were you really expecting them to be that careless? The Institute are professionals, there's no doubt about that. Besides, they've got all that freaky advanced technology and everything."

"Yeah..." She wiped her forehead. "Still, it's hard to believe they didn't leave _anything_ behind. There has to be some lead..."

"Shall I get Nick to help you out or do I have to do it on my own?" I asked with a smirk as I watched her rub her chin thoughtfully. She looked so focused that it was funny.

"Yeah, Valentine'd be nice. He could help for once," she muttered absently.

"I'll go tell him you've got nothing," I said. "It's been a _day_ , Pipes. You could lay off a bit. But, what do I know? I'll just go now."

"I'll come with you," Nat offered. "Beats sittin' here and listening to my sister go on about her conspiracy theories."

"I _heard_ that!" Piper shouted from the other room. "And _you_ believe in those theories too!"

I snickered and opened the door. "Alright. Come on, kid."

"I'm thirteen," she pouted. "Don't call me a kid."

"Sorry."

We had been in Diamond City for a whole day by now and all the while, Piper had been going through her research on the Institute. I had to give her one thing: she sure was dedicated. There had to be tons of it.

One more thing I had learned about the Wasteland during that day, (aside from the fact that medical services were absurdly expensive and treating that stab wound had cost me almost all of Kellogg's money) was that hot water didn't exist. Or, at least, not from the faucet. I had tried to take a shower in Piper's bathroom and was splashed with ice-cold water.

I had even called Piper out on it later because she had said that they had running water in Diamond City. She had replied that running water didn't mean hot water and that I was too sophisticated. Even warm water was considered a luxury - _that_ was what kind of world I lived in now.

"Hi!" Ellie said when we walked into the detective agency. "If it isn't my favorite newsgirl." She ruffled Nat's hair with a smile. "And Nora, what can I do for you two?"

"You could get your boss," I ran a hand through my hair. "Piper's finally admitted she needs help."

"Hallelujah for that," Nick muttered, walking into the room with his trench coat thrown over his arm. "I swear, that girl tries to take too much upon herself."

"So will you help her?"

He slowly put the coat on and gave us a cocky grin. "I never said I'm done with this case, did I? Come on, let's see what she's got."

"She hasn't got _much_ ," Nat pointed out. "That's why she's askin' for help."

"Figures." Nick took out a pack of cigarettes and without a word handed it to me. I had to admit I was pretty much done with all this stress, so I accepted gratefully. "Diamond City's really something, isn't it?" He asked and stopped to light the cigarette as soon as we were outside. I looked around. Those tiny buildings were all cramped in such a small space, it was dirty and the style was completely inconsistent, but... It was also somewhat inspiring.

"I guess." I shrugged. "Why are you asking?"

"It's just that..." Nick gave Nat a gentle nudge. "Go on ahead, will you?" The girl nodded and ran off. "It's just that it was a bit hard for me to get used to all of this... Sure, it may not be perfect, but Diamond City's what I made home." He looked at me seriously. "With some time, it could be your home, too."

I blew out a small cloud of smoke, then laughed out loud. "I don't know, Nick. Don't get me wrong, this is one hell of a place, but... I'm not really sure I'm ready to settle down just yet."

"Still chasing that vengeance of yours, right?" He sighed. "The Institute isn't exactly the wisest choice of enemy, you know."

"So you've told me." I threw the half-burnt cigarette to the ground and stubbed it out. "Everyone's been telling me that. You people are all just afraid of them."

Nick smirked. _"Piper_ isn't."

"Piper isn't." I agreed with a laugh.

" _What_ aren't I?"

We both turned around at the sound of the journalist's voice behind us.

"Heavens, Pipes! When did you get so stealthy?!" I exclaimed, slightly startled. She shrugged, though I was pretty sure she enjoyed scaring us.

"So you're here to help me help Nora?"

"One day's passed and we're all working together again," I said with a smile. "Maybe it's better that way. We make quite a team."

"Sure do," Nick agreed. "Now, show me that research of yours, Piper."

She took off her cap and wiped her forehead with it. "I don't know, Nick. It's really nothing. There's no one who's even tried tailing the Institute. Well," she glanced at me, "at least until our friend came along."

"Hmm..." Nick rubbed his chin. "There isn't anyone who would know how to even contact them, is there?"

"Well," Piper rolled her eyes. "We know at least one person who must have had a way inside the Institute. But Kellogg isn't really much of a lead anymore." She turned to me. "You spoke with him... Didn't he tell you how to get to the Institute?"

"Oh sure!" I smiled widely. "He kindly pointed me the way and even showed two alternative routes in case I get lost!"

"You're a piece of work," Piper laughed. "So no clues here."

"I would have done it again," I said, now seriously. "He deserved exactly he got."

She sighed. "Nice headline: murderer and kidnapper gets his brains blown out by an avenging parent. That would be a great, happy ending - if we still didn't have the biggest mystery in the Commonwealth to solve."

"Where is the Institute," I said. "And how to get there."

"Exactly," Piper nodded. "What do you think, Nick?"

"His brains..." Valentine repeated absently. He chuckled. "Heh. His _brains_."

"What are you on about?" I asked.

Nick looked at us with a wide grin. "You know what? Maybe we won't even need the man alive."

 **Level up.  
** **New perk: Moving Target - they can't hurt what they can't hit! Get +10% damage resistance and +10% energy resistance while moving.**


	11. Dangerous Minds

**Chapter Ten  
Dangerous Minds  
**

* * *

"We've only been here for a day," I complained, throwing my Vault 111 jumpsuit into my backpack. "I know I said I don't wanna settle down, but you don't have to be so literal, Nick."

"Remind me again. _Why_ are we leaving?" Piper tapped her foot on the floor impatiently. I was under the impression she would prefer being on the road again.

"I think I've got a way to get the information on the Institute," Nick explained. "It's not one-hundred percent sure to work, but I think it's worth a shot."

"So you've been saying." Piper rolled her eyes. "You have to be a bit more specific."

The detective sighed, sitting down on the sofa. He glanced at me, then at Piper, then at Nat, before finally speaking up.

"There's a place in Goodneighbor, called the Memory Den. Your basic neural projection cinema - relive old memories at will."

"I've been to one of these," I noticed, slightly surprised. "Before the War." I tapped my chin. "I didn't know such advanced tech is still running. You people have just about everything, haven't you?" I laughed. "Well, maybe aside from running water."

Piper shot me a glare. "We _do_ have running water."

"What do you think running water even _is_?" I shot back immediately.

"Water that's not radioactive?"

 _"What_ does it _matter?!"_ Nat exclaimed. We stared at the girl, equally surprised by her outburst. "You two argue like a married couple!"

Piper threw a rolled newspaper at her sister. "S- Shut up!" She blushed. I raised an eyebrow at her nervous reaction.

"Anyway, I was _saying_ ," Nick cleared his throat. "I happen to know most of the staff there. It's a long story, but it doesn't really matter right now. I just know that if there's anyone in the Commonwealth who can get a dead brain to talk, it's Doctor Amari. The, ah, mind behind the memories."

"I don't like where this is going," Piper commented.

"I say we bring the good doctor some of Kellogg's grey matter to analyze and see what she can come up with."

"I knew I wasn't gonna like it." The reporter pretended to gag. "Seriously, Nick? That's gross!"

"Do you have any better options?" He asked in return. "After all, you've just spent hours researching the Institute."

"Fine. We'll go with your plan," I spoke for the whole group.

"Except you said that place is in Goodneighbor, didn't you?" Piper wrinkled her nose. "I don't like this plan at all."

"Goodneighbor?" I repeated. "Where's that?"

Piper offered me a bitter smile. "The most wretched hive of scum and villainy you'll ever find in the Commonwealth. Whether you're looking to get stoned or get shot, Goodneighbor's your place."

"So it's, like, a town." I summed up.

"It's the second-biggest settlement in the Commonwealth, just after Diamond City," Nick explained. "Though don't take Piper's warning too lightly. It _is_ a bit more rough, and the people... Well, let's just say that for a community made up entirely of outlaws, junkies and other kinds of freaks, they're not _completely_ bad."

"Criminals and outlaws. Sounds cool," I said sarcastically. "Okay, where's the place?"

"Goodneighbor's in Goodneighbor." Nat shrugged. I had almost forgotten she was still there. "Everyone knows how to get there."

"It's some ways northeast from here," Piper explained. "Middle of Boston."

"If you're looking for some pre-War reference," Valentine tapped his metal fingers on the desk, "I can tell you it used to be called Scollay Square way back when."

"You know a good deal of pre-War stuff, Nick," I noticed. "Much more than most people in the Wasteland. I don't know, I just feel like you... understand me more. Where does that come from?"

"My memories?" The synth tipped the fedora on his head. "That's a long story - and a complicated one... Not for now."

"Do _I_ happen to know it?" Piper asked curiously.

"Not all stories are meant for print, Piper." He stood up from the sofa. "So what do you say we leave first thing in the morning, let Nora see more of DC before we hit the road?"

"I'm ready to go when you are." The journalist crossed her arms.

"Wait, but..." Nat bit her lip, looking up at her sister, her eyes widened. "But you're always off somewhere! Can't you stay just for a few days?"

Piper glanced at me nervously before crouching down to meet Nat's eye level.

"Hey..." She said. "What's that? You worried about _me_ , Nats?" She laughed, plucking some of her sister's short black hair behind her ear. "Straighten up, li'l soldier. Carry on, right? I'll be just fine, and I know you will too. You're the most observant girl I know. After all, who else would be my lookout for angry politicians? You're _fantastic_ , Nats." She looked down. "And that's why I have to go."

Nat nodded her head, wiping her foot on the ground.

"Yeah... 'Course, Piper. You do that, go and help people." She gave her sister what had to be the fakest smile a child could make. "I'll be fine!"

oooOOO***OOOooo

"Why didn't you stay with your sister?" I asked.

Piper looked at the ground under her feet. "Nat?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, Joanne d'Arc. Of course Nat."

"She can take care of herself. She really doesn't need someone like me around."

I knit my brows. "Are you sure? She seemed pretty heartbroken you're leaving."

Piper laughed nervously.

"That's just how they are. Kids." She sighed, drooping her shoulders. "No, it's not... It's complicated. I know it's not alright, I know _she's_ not alright, but... Shit, I just don't know."

"Piper..." I put my hand on her shoulder, but she just shrugged it off.

"Sorry," she said quickly. "Don't listen to me ramble. You've really got much bigger problems than me... We should focus on helping you get your son back."

"Shaun...?" It was my turn to look down. "I... Piper, to be honest, I'm not even sure if he's still alive." I ran my fingertips over the freshly-healed cuts on my palms. "Maybe it would be for the better if he had died."

"Don't say that!" Her eyes widened.

"I can't say that Kellogg told me a lot, but... He made it clear that I wasn't wrong and the kid who lived with him in Diamond City _was_ Shaun. He's... around ten years old right now." I sighed. "Even if I find him, he won't even know who I am... I don't know, Piper. It feels wrong. I want, and at the same time, I don't want to... And this whole Institute... That's all just a bit too overwhelming to handle."

"Overwhelming? I don't get it."

"I feel like... You know what Nick said, that there are bigger forces at work here than just Shaun's kidnapping? What if he was right? What if I'm poking my nose into something really big that doesn't even concern me directly?"

Piper smiled.

"Well, I can just say that in that case, I'll gladly poke my nose into it as well. This is the Institute we're talking about! The greatest mystery of the Commonwealth! No way am I letting something like this pass me by. I'll be sure to give people the truth... No matter how ugly it turns out to be."

Dogmeat ran up to us, holding a small dead molerat in his snout. He dropped the animal in front of me and wagged his tail proudly.

"Aaaand so much for heartfelt conversations while travelling," Piper summed up. "Hey boy." She turned her attention to the dog. "Shouldn't you be with Nicky up ahead?"

Dogmeat just barked.

"Yeah, I kinda figured you'd say that," she said with all seriousness. I laughed.

"Come on, Pipes. Let's see what's happened."

"Why the hurry, Blue? Come in, it's just molerats. I'm _pretty sure_ Nick can handle it."

"You're kidding, right? Those things almost killed me my first day out of the Vault," I said honestly. "Well, those and radroaches. I was petrified."

"Molerats and radroaches," Piper repeated, trying to stifle a laugh. "Word of advice: if I were you, I wouldn't mention that to people."

I snickered.

"Hold on..." My eyes widened at the distant sound of shouting. "Did you hear that?"

It was clear that someone was in trouble. From the sound of it, it was just a kid. I didn't waste time on waiting for either of my friends - I simply set off in the direction the voice was coming from. I remembered everything Piper and Nick had told me about how dangerous it was to venture into downtown Boston alone, but I didn't have the time to waste on overthinking it at the moment. Besides, I was pretty sure Dogmeat was closely following me.

I took another corner and finally saw the kid. He was around nineteen, maybe twenty years old, pressing his hands to his stomach as if he were injured. The instant he saw me, his face brightened up.

"Please, you've gotta help us! Please!" He exclaimed. I drew my laser pistol, but the whole street seemed deserted. "My sister, she's... Oh, fuck. Please, she won't survive for long without help!"

"Alright, alright," I said in as calming a voice as I could muster. "It's going to be fine. Just calm down, kid. What happened?"

The boy just glanced into the abandoned store behind him.

"She's inside there," he explained, running into the building. I followed him hurriedly...

Only to be hit with something heavy the moment I stepped over the threshold. Before I fully grasped what was going on, I had already been pushed to the ground. The young man no longer looked scared - he had three friends with him now, all of them heavily armed.

I moaned, trying to hold my head to prevent it from spinning.

"Great job, Jay. She's not dead," one of the men noticed.

"Does it matter? No." I felt the man flip me over, feeling around my jacket. I had looted enough bodies to know he was looking for my pockets.

"Whoa, that's one loaded pack here," one of the other scavengers whistled as he looked through my military backpack. "All guns and ammo, almost nothing else."

I blinked weakly when I saw blood on my hand after I touching my forehead with it.

"Don't move, stupid bitch."

I winced at the man's choice of vocabulary. Not like I hadn't heard curse words before - Piper tended to use them often enough, and so did I - but this had been thrown _too_ carelessly.

I heard a rapping and whining noise coming from the door. I smiled widely despite my situation being almost hopeless because I knew only one animal that made such noises.

Dogmeat.

And that meant 'help'.

It took my friends little more than a few minutes, with the element of surprise on their side, to get rid of the scavengers and, once that was done, start explaining to me what an idiot I was.

"What _kind_ of world do you think you live in?" Nick tutted as he pressed the damp cloth onto my head. "This is downtown - just be glad you didn't run into anything worse."

"It sounded like he needed help," I groaned in response. My head still hurt like hell, and I was pretty sure injecting a Stimpak into my neck wouldn't help. (That _didn't_ stop me from doing it anyway, but there was little result.)

"This isn't the US anymore, Nora. _This_ is the Commonwealth. You can't just trust people."

"I trust you guys," I pointed out. "Don't tell me I shouldn't - I reckon it's a bit too late for that."

Piper looked out the window. "We would have made it to Goodneighbor before dusk if you hadn't decided to help out those scavengers."

"I thought this man was in trouble." I felt like a broken record, having to repeat it over and over again.

Dogmeat whimpered and I scratched his head. That dog had saved my life by bringing my friends to where I was being robbed.

"This world needs more people like you, Blue. Selfless and naïve." Piper passed me her bottle of soda. "I just find your pre-War innocence kinda endearing. The question is, how long till you notice this isn't a nice world?"

"I already have." I winced when Valentine touched one of the most painful parts of my wound with disinfectant. "I _know_ this isn't a nice world. I just wanna do good to folks around here, you know?"

Nick patted me on the back before Piper had the chance to answer.

"There you go, all fixed up. Mostly." He bit his lip. "Maybe it's none of my business, but I've never seen a human with such slow metabolism before."

The concerned tone of his voice immediately got my attention. "What do you mean?"

"That wound? Just a Stimpak should be enough, it's not even deep. And the cut from Kellogg? You have a scar, don't you?"

I involuntarily touched my right side where I knew under my jacket, shirt, and the last layer of bandages, was a white line on my rosy skin. Doctor Sun from Diamond City had said that the wound hadn't healed completely yet, but I was good to go.

"Yes," I answered absently. "Why do you ask?"

"No, it's nothing." Nick put on a fake smile. "I'm sure it's nothing. You just heal a bit slower, have to keep it in mind before I let you get shot up again."

I looked down sadly.

My mood was brightened a bit when Piper decided to share some food with me. Still pre-packaged food from my times (filled with enough preservatives to keep it fresh for another two centuries!), but I wasn't especially picky. A pack of beef jerky and a can of cold tomato soup was enough for me to call it a meal.

As Nick set up our camp for the night, I pulled out one of the two compounds I had hidden in my jacket before - and was relieved to find that the scavengers hadn't taken it. I absently turned it in my hands.

"And what's _that?"_ Piper nodded at the device I was holding.

"It's that thing I found inside Kellogg's body," I explained. "Still have no idea what it's supposed to be."

"Wait... _Inside_?" She repeated weakly.

"It's weird, like I've seen this before," Valentine muttered, taking the component from me and turning it in his hands. "Just can't place it. Seems like some kind of cybernetic implant by the looks of it..."

"Yeah, just what I thought. That'd explain why it was so hard to get out of the body."

Piper put a hand to her forehead. "You two? You. Are. _Gross_."

We both looked at her.

"Well sorry for at least _trying_ to figure something out." I crossed my arms.

"Sure, but this thing alone won't take us to the Institute," Nick threw out the cigarette he had been smoking. "Whatever advanced tech it is, I'm pretty sure it's not a map with the way marked on it."

He stood up and flexed his muscles - or hydraulic pumps, or whatever it was he had in place of those.

"Well, if I were you, I'd try and get some sleep tonight, too. We're not about to head out to the center of Boston in the middle of the night." He looked out the window. "There's just hoping we don't run into any super mutants on the way."

Of course, we _did_ run into some super mutants later.

We decided it would be best to set off as early in the morning as it was possible, so Nick woke us at 6 AM and after a light breakfast (at least this time, I didn't forget to feed Dogmeat. I was the worst owner in the world) we hit the road in hopes for a relatively peaceful journey.

It was anything but. It turned out the alley that looked so appealing to me had looked appealing to a bunch of raiders too. Piper even tried reasoning with them, but we only got caught up in a gunfight. And once the raiders were dead, it turned out the noise had drawn several super mutants to us. We ended up running for our lives simply because there were too many of them for us to take.

From my experience so far, running away was the best anti-super mutant survival tactics. Whatever those things were, they were tough to fight. And I was genuinely afraid of them. Not as terrifyingly bone-freezing afraid as I was of ghouls, but they _did_ scare me too.

"Oh look." I laughed, still a bit tired from the sprint a few minutes earlier. "They have a cute little neon sign. That's adorable."

The street before me was divided in half by a large wall that made Diamond City's security posts look humble. _This_ was something - car roofs, crates, doors... All of that pushed into a barricade with a huge gate in the middle. And a large neon sign, _Goodneighbor,_ glowing at us from above.

"Well, here we are," Piper said, darting her eyes around. It was clear the place made her uneasy. "Keep the safety off around here, just some advice."

"It can't be that bad a place. I mean, it _is_ some kind of civilization." I still put my hand on my laser pistol. "At least no one shot us on sight. That's gotta be a good sign."

Piper pushed the city gates open. "I guess."

I quickly looked around the enclosed space that was hidden from the rest of the world. Unlike Diamond City, where people had built their own little homes, Goodneighbor seemed to operate in pre-War buildings, which made the street look actually like a street. Furthermore, there was at least one store that was still used as a store... It was all very civilized, although the heaviness of cigarette smoke in the air and the glow of numerous neon signs made the entire setting look like a noir movie.

"I'll go on ahead, explain to Doctor Amari what's what." Nick patted me on the back. "You two just try not to get into too much trouble."

"Trouble?" Piper laughed. "Oh come on, Nicky - _it_ finds _us_. Not the other way around."

I gave him an unconvincing smile, putting an arm around her. "We'll be fine!"

I really wanted to have a look around this town before we got to business - whatever dangerous place it was made out to be, Goodneighbor was much more appealing to me than Diamond City, from what I'd seen so far.

I had only taken a few steps before someone grabbed my arm.

"What the hell?" I looked at the man and tried to shake myself off. "Let go," I growled.

"Oh, of course," he replied, pushing me away with just a bit too much force. I had forgotten this town was supposed to be inhabited by people who didn't fit in anywhere else, including criminals. "I don't think I've seen you around the neighborhood, lass."

"What a sharp perception you have, _lad,"_ I wrinkled my nose. "Now, I want to get going, so..."

He stood in my way again. I noticed Piper nervously pacing around.

"Look, I don't want any trouble," I said as calmly as I could, careful not to look him in the eyes.

"Oh, I _know_. That's why you should listen to me," the man smirked. "You're new around these parts - you wouldn't want to walk around Goodneighbor without paying for some... insurance, you get me?"

"Does this insurance include keeping smartasses like you away?" I asked sarcastically and rolled my eyes. Piper grabbed my arm.

"Blue... I don't think that's the best ide-"

The thug took a step forward, seriously invading my comfort zone. I _didn't_ like men being that close, especially strangers.

"Look here, missy. You should listen to your girlfriend," he growled. "A smart mouth will only get you in trouble around here. And I think you've already deep in it-" He grabbed the collar of my shirt.

Piper instinctively took a step back. I was sensing a fight too. The worst thing was that people seemed to be walking away quickly. I decided that I _didn't_ like this town after all. I had to quickly think of something that would save my sorry ass, because I didn't feel that anyone else would help me out.

I was wrong.

"Okay, that's enough. Cut it."

I wanted to get a look at the newcomer, but all I could see was the reaction on the thug's face at his arrival. He let go of me.

"Look, mayor, I didn't mean trouble. She went in, all bossy and sarcastic-" he started explaining himself.

"She's a guest. We don't harass guests in my neighborhood." The man stepped forward and I finally got a look at him.

The mayor of Goodneighbor? My first thought was Preston Garvey with his colonial duster and everything. This guy wore a red frock coat and a tricorn hat (and was that _the American flag_ he used as a belt?), all historical and fancy. He radiated an aura of confidence - this was his place, it was obvious.

But I didn't focus on any of that - not on how well-preserved the clothes were, or how well they fit in with the noir style of the town. Instead, I focused on how the man's skin was ripped and rotten, how his eyes were completely black, how he looked like a dead man brought back to life.

I had seen that before. I had seen it when I nearly lost my life, when one of those creatures lunged at me, trying to rip my throat with its teeth, to eat me alive.

I felt sick and almost fell.

"Hey. You alright, sister?" The ghoul held me up. Its voice was concerned, but hearing that thing call me 'sister' was even more terrifying than the fact that it was so close.

I thought I was going to throw up.

"Let her go, Hancock." A new voice joined in. "Can't you see she's scared outta her bone?"

"What? She's never seen a ghoul before? Highly doubt it." But he let go of me, and I quickly took a step back. Of course, scared as I was, I tripped and fell hard on my ass. The ghoul shot me a glare. "Just cause she's with Valentine doesn't mean she gets to act up. Goodneighbor's not for the intolerant, you catch my meaning?"

"Clear as rain, mayor," my savior replied smugly. The ghoul walked away, shooting me a glare. I swallowed hard. "You'd better get over it, though." The stranger helped me stand up on my own, smiling all the time. It seemed to me like he was high. "Don't worry yourself - you _have to_ fit in. Goodneighbor's got a place for _everyone!"_ He adjusted the sunglasses on his nose with a wide grin. "Even me!"

"Great," I said. "That's... great." He creeped me out almost as much as the ghoul. "I've got to go now."

"You do that!" He seemed unbelievably glad to talk to me. "You _do_ that. After all, you've got very important things to do. Seriously important things. Don't screw them up!"

I wrinkled my forehead. "Wait. Did you just..."

"Who, me? No. Gotta run." He waved me goodbye and just walked away. He stopped for a second to turn around. "And by the way... I'll see you around."

On that cue, he disappeared around the corner.

"Well, that was pretty bizarre," Piper noticed aloud.

"You don't say." I looked down at my hands, surprised to see them tremble. Piper put a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, um... You're scared of ghouls, Blue?"

"I guess," I replied with a shrug.

"Oops. Oh boy, this is gonna be hard." She shook her head, her eyes wide. "Oh boy."

"What? There's more of them?" I hated myself for the nervousness that sounded in my voice, but I really couldn't control it. Feral ghouls embodied everything that scared me in the Wasteland - even if the one I had just encountered wasn't feral, I still couldn't bring myself to treat it... treat _him_ like a human being.

"Blue... This whole town is filled with ghouls. I told you, it's a place for outcasts. People who didn't fit in in Diamond City." She clicked her tongue. "And you _don't_ see ghouls in Diamond City, do you?"

"I need a smoke," I muttered, nervously fumbling with the pockets of my jacket until I found the pack of cigarettes Nick had given me. It was mostly empty now, but that was the least of my worries. My fingers were trembling as I tried to get the lighter to produce a flame.

"You need help with that?" Piper asked in a sympathetic tone.

I shook my head. "I'm fine."

I inhaled a great deal as soon as I finally managed to light the cigarette. It wasn't as calming as I had expected it to be, but I felt a bit less stressed after a few minutes.

"Okay," I said, staring at the ground. "Let's go. The sooner we leave this place, the better."

Piper smirked.

"If you need it, I can hold your hand," she said. I rolled my eyes and just began walking ahead.

I told myself to act natural, to pretend this all was normal. But every time I passed a ghoul, I had to remind myself that it wasn't a feral, that it wasn't about to attack me. I was sure I was even paler than usual.

The large neon sign 'Memory Den' could be seen from the other end of the street (the whole town was just two streets, as it turned out) and I thanked the heavens that I had made it without freaking out too much.

I opened the door and shut it closed as soon as we were inside.

Nick Valentine was talking to some woman in a lab coat, but they stopped as soon as we entered the room.

"Good grief, woman." Valentine took just one look at me. "What did you two get yourselves into?"

Piper put an arm around me. "Nora here is afraid of ghouls."

His face fell. "Ain't a worse place for you to be - save for Necropolis, maybe."

"Necropolis? Don't tell me, a town inhabited _only_ by ghouls." I sighed. "Might as well be called Zombietown."

Piper shot me a glare and I reminded myself that people were supposed to treat ghouls as humans and that I was probably being terribly racist or something like that. I cleared my throat and stood more confidently.

"It's fine. I'm fine." I forced a smile upon my lips.

The woman who had been talking to Nick before offered me a handshake. I was just glad she wasn't a ghoul like half of Goodneighbor's residents.

"You're Nora, right? The woman who's chasing after the Institute."

"That's me." I waved at her with a grin. "I see I've already got some kind of renown, that's nice."

"Mr Valentine told me about you," she explained. "I'm Doctor Amari and I specialize in neuroscience. Study of the human brain." She chuckled a bit. "That's probably why I wound up working in a place like the Memory Den."

I looked around the room, for the first time fully-consciously noticing the four human-sized pods with seats inside. There was a ghoul inside of them, but I felt secure knowing that it - _he_ \- was behind glass.

"Memory loungers!" I exclaimed in a whisper. I touched the glass surface of one of the pods. "I haven't seen those for ages." Literally. "And they still work?"

"Yes," the doctor confirmed. "But so do the ones backstage, and I feel like the kind of thing that would bring both the famous detective and the infamous reporter from Diamond City all the way here isn't something that can be talked about freely."

"No, it's not," I agreed. "Lead the way, doctor." She nodded and we followed her downstairs to a cellar. I mouthed 'infamous?' to Piper, but she just smirked, looking at the ground, so I didn't comment further.

The room was surprisingly well-lit and clean for a cellar - and even more so for a Commonwealth cellar - and was filled with all sorts of scientific equipment, most obvious of which were the two memory loungers which stood on opposing sides of the room. There was even a sofa in the corner.

"Now we can talk privately." Doctor Amari closed the door behind us. "Mr Valentine wasn't very explicit in his explanation so far, but from what I gather, you're trying to track down the Institute?"

"We are." Nick flexed his fingers. "We even have a kind of a lead, but... It's gotten a bit more complicated and we need your help."

"What's gotten more complicated?" She seemed suspicious for a second. "You've got a lead? On the Institute?"

"We know a guy," Piper nodded. "He had a way inside."

"Oh, oh, let me!" I looked at Piper with a girlish grin before putting on my most serious expression. I straightened the collar of my leather jacket and looked at the scientist seriously. "Doctor!" I exclaimed in a deep voice. "It's time for you to reverse _death itself!"_

Piper had to put a hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing out loud.

"Now I see that you two are together," the doctor looked at us with an expression as unimpressed as Nick's.

"Don't mind them," the detective said, shaking his head at us. "But there's _one_ thing Nora got right - we need to access the memories of a dead man."

Doctor Amari took a step back.

"I do have a debt for you, Nick, but what you're asking isn't very-"

"Inside knowledge of the Institute, doctor. Think about the good of science." Nick could be as persuasive as me when he wanted to, and he was playing that card really well right now. "Please. If not for me, for the knowledge you can gain from this. The good that can come out of this is... uncomparably higher than your hesitations."

Amari put a hand to her forehead.

"Aside from the fact that you're asking me to defile a corpse, do you realize how improbable this whole idea is? The memory link needs intact, _living_ brains to function properly."

"Well," I muttered, " _technically_ , the corpse was defiled already."

"That does not make me feel any better," the doctor crossed her arms. "I suppose I'll have to make do with whatever you can find."

An idea came to my mind and I took out the two implants I had found on Kellogg.

"That's no brain, but maybe it'll do?" I handed them to the doctor. She seemed much more fascinated than grossed out, immediately taking both cybernetics to the light and examining them closely.

"I've never seen anything like it..." She muttered aloud. "But this is certainly some kind of bio-mechanical neurosystem... Wait, that's the hippocampus! But... No. And yet...! I can't believe how advanced the Institute is!" She looked at us. "Did you know _what_ you were carrying in your pocket all this time?"

"No idea," I replied honestly.

"This is a fully cybernetic brain augmenting implant - something like that doesn't have a scientific right to exist!"

"English, please." I put a hand to my forehead. "Guns and bullets are alright, but spare me the science talk."

"Not everyone speaks egghead," Piper agreed.

"I'm not sure, because I've never before come across anything like this, but... This device is an integral part of the brain. There's most certainly some kind of hard drive in it, so if we're just very lucky, this might be just what you need!"

"You mean this little thing has Kellogg's memories inside?" I cocked my head at her. "It sounds too easy. Too good to be true."

"I guess there's one way to find out," Nick said seriously. "And we need to look inside this thing anyway."

"You mean... You want to actually plug yourself in with this? Nick!" I exclaimed. "What the hell?! We have no idea what this even is, let alone what it does!"

He smiled at my tone. "It's awfully nice of you to care, but I'm ready to make my own decision, Nora. And if this helps us find your son, I say we do it."

Piper bit her lip. "I don't like this, Nick."

I didn't say anything more. Doctor Amari looked at the synth with a question lingering in her eyes. She cleared her throat.

"Are you ready to do this now or do we wait?"

"Why wait?" Nick looked at her strangely. "Let's just see if I'm compatible first."

She guided him to sit down on the sofa. Me and Piper exchanged worried looks, but Nick just showed us a thumbs up as Doctor Amari connected the device to some spot on the back of his head. He winced.

"I don't like the way it feels... Someone else in my brain." He looked around almost frantically, and I was pretty sure he wasn't seeing quite what the rest of us were. "Doctor, I can't... Can't make sense of it. It's just... flashes. It doesn't hold together at all."

He breathed a sigh of relief after the doctor switched something on the back of his neck.

"That was... I don't even know _what_ , actually."

Doctor Amari rubbed her chin. "Yes, I feared it would be that way... The mnemonic encryption must be too complex for Mr Valentine to break through it. But maybe... if we used a human brain too?"

She looked at me in a way that suggested I should know what to do now.

"What?" I crossed my arms.

"We could plug you in to the implant via the memory loungers. Mr Valentine will act as host and you will be able to relive Kellogg's memories as if they were your own."

"I don't know..." I bit my lip nervously. "This sounds risky. Have you ever done anything like this before?"

My doubts didn't seem to discourage the scientist. She was still overly excited about the whole thing. "This is as new to me as it is to you," she said. "But theoretically, the whole procedure should be safe. Nothing to worry about."

Valentine rose from the sofa. "Well, I'm ready to take the risk. If Nora agrees, we can do it right away."

At the moment, I was feeling butterflies in my stomach.

"Nick will be alright, though?" I asked, concerned. "You don't have to do this."

He grabbed my arm and squeezed gently, a kind smile on his face.

"You really need to stop worrying about me, Nora. I'm fine, I've always _been_ fine, and I'm pretty sure I'll still be fine after this."

I nodded. "Right. I... have no idea how to thank you."

"I'll be satisfied enough if we find a way into the Institute." He tilted his head. "At any rate, you're not the only one who has a score to settle with them. Oh, sure, they built me and gave me life and everything. But then, they decided to wipe my memory clean and throw me out like trash."

"The Institute doesn't have too many fans out here, do they?" I summed up. I shook my head, remembering why we were there at all. "Doctor Amari, do you think you could set us up for this whole memory journey _now_?"

She tapped her nails on the desk. "Of course. I only need to reconnect Mr Valentine to the implant and connect him to that other memory lounger, but you go on and take your place."

I carefully sat inside of the pod, trying not to associate it with the cryogenic pods from vault 111. This one was comfortable. This one wasn't a part of some freaky secret government social experiment. Just a nice memory lounger.

I was about to experience Kellogg's memories.

I noticed Nick already sitting in the other pod. He gave me an encouraging smile and I breathed out as glass panels lowered on both of us, closing us inside. _Thank goodness I don't have claustrophobia._

"Now," Dr Amari gently tapped at the glass to get my attention. "You're about to experience the memories of somebody else, so be prepared for some sense of discomfort as to the freedom of your thoughts. The mnemonic impression inside the implant isn't very cohesive either, so I doubt what you'll see inside there is going to be very consistent."

"Okay." I nodded. "Let's do this."

"Connecting you both now."

"Hey." Nick smiled at me. "See you on the other side."

And that was the last thing I heard before the world faded away into white.

 _White. The last page of the comic book was completely white. I only had the three, and this one was my favorite. Two hundred years of decay did their thing, though, so the last few pages were completely bleached. I never really found out what the ending was. Maybe that was for the best - left it to my imagination._

 _I could hear Dad shouting something from downstairs. At the ege of ten, I had already learned not to listen. He was almost always angry. On me, on Mom... On the whole world, I guess. I didn't understand that back then. Just a kid, thinking I was so grown-up an I tried listening to the radio, but all I really heard was Mom's tired sigh._

 _"What a joke," she muttered. I looked at her and she closed her eyes. "Don't think about it, Connie. People like to think that someone else is gonna save them, but they're lying to themselves. The Brotherhood of Steel? The NCR? Some saving they're doing."_

 _I looked at her. I was just a kid, I didn't understand too much._

 _"Teacher at school said the NCR're gonna bring back the good days," I said. "Like, before the Great War."_

 _"And do you believe that?"_

 _I looked down. "...No."_

 _My mom almost smiled. Almost. "Atta boy."_

 _Dad's shouting grew louder and I knew it wouldn't be long before he would get to my room to start blaming us for everything that went wrong. Mom must have known that too, because she took a revolver from the night table._

 _I knew how to shoot one. Of course I did. But no one ever let me do it._

 _"Listen to me, Connie. You take this." She handed me the gun and I carefully took it into my small hands. I looked at her without a word. "You're old enough now. Your father's useless, but you... You're a good boy, Connie. You won't turn out like him." Something in Mom's expression hardened. "And all that talk on the radio? Don't believe a word of it. The only thing that's gonna protect you is the gun in your hands. You need to learn to use it if you're going to survive."_

 _I looked at the gun, then at my mother's face._

 _"I will, mom. I promise," I said quietly. "I won't let you down."_

 _Because how was I to know she wanted me to kill Dad?_

 _I didn't. Instead, I ended up running away. I guess I wanted myself to get out from under the thumb of the NCR and away from all their rules..._

The scenery changed so abruptly that, for a second, I remembered that it was all just a memory. But that feeling was gone soon enough, washed away like rain.

 _I looked out the window at the rain that was falling from the sky, happy to be inside. Sarah was doing the dishes while I cooked, Marie was sleeping... It was peaceful._

 _I didn't even realize how much._

 _The thing about happiness is that you only know it after it's gone. You may think that you're happy, but it's not until you can compare it with what comes next that you think 'that was what happiness felt like'. But when it lasts, you don't recognize it._

 _I was happy._

 _"It's gonna be fine," I said. "You'll see."_

 _"But we don't know anybody here," Sarah protested, leaving the dishes she was cleaning to look at me. "And now with the baby..."_

 _"Come on, Sarah. You've got to give it a chance. I've finally got a good work. Steady. Nothing like that in the NCR..."_

 _I was the worst thing that happened to her. If only she had hooked up with someone else, someone who didn't kill people for a living... Maybe she would have been happier. And almost certainly, she would've lived longer._

 _"Just you wait," I assured her, putting my hands around her waist. "In a few years, after I make the connections I need, I'll be running my own crew. And then, I can give you whatever you want. And little Mary too."_

 _I have no idea what made me even think I would be fit to be a father. I didn't deserve her, not for one second. But I suppose we were happy, if just for a few years. Me, my wife and my daughter._

 _What an idiot I was._

 _I made so damn many mistakes in such a short time._ _I fucked with people I shouldn't have fucked with. And they royally fucked up my life in return._

 _In the end, I was left alone. No wife, no daughter. Just the burning desire for revenge. And I got it, eventually. But it wasn't as fulfilling as I had hoped it to be._

 _And it sure damn didn't bring them back to life._

 _The next few years flew by like a blur. I didn't care where I was going. Mostly wandering east - getting as far away from San Francisco as I could, probably. I made a living - there was always someone who wanted someone dead, which meant there was always a job for someone like me._

 _Didn't want to stay in the Capital Wasteland. It was too unbearable for me with the Brotherhood of Steel running the show. They reminded me of the NCR, maybe less organized. Just a bunch of do-goods who wanted to selflessly help people out. Or that was what they made themselves out to be, at least. Too many bad memories. But... I learned to move on._

 _I finally ended up in the Commonwealth. I kind of ran out of road, plus I'd come to terms with life. And life wasn't going to idly sit by while I cried myself off. It would move on, with or without me._

 _I decided to move on with it._

 _Now, in the Commonwealth, you heard all sorts of rumors about the Institute, but I figured they were just a convenient boogeyman for anything bad that ever happened. Everyone needs a scapegoat, and the idea of that technologically advanced group of scientists was a very tempting one._

 _Turned out they were real. But they hid underground all the time. Didn't know anything about operating on the surface, relied on their synths for everything. They had the resources I needed, I had the expertise and experience they needed... Turned into a permanent arrangement, but I was fine with that. They paid well._

 _Went on like that for years. With time, the Institute learned to trust me. In turn, I learned to rely on them. The synths were useful for commanding, but they lacked something more... humane. The Institute wanted to fix that. And if they wanted something, that usually meant I had to get involved in some way too._

 _That was what eventually brought me to that assignment. The one that would change the Institute - and the Commonwealth - permanently. Of course, I didn't quite know that just yet. Or maybe I wasn't aware. But I could sense it was a special occasion._

 _The eggheads from the Institute never tagged along, either, so that was another thing that told me that operation was different._

 _Killing an entire Vault full of people wasn't my idea of fun, but the Institute had made it clear there couldn't be any witnesses. Pity. They never even knew what hit them. Perhaps it was for the best though._

 _I was glad I didn't have to kill the kid. I'm not saying I hadn't done it before, but I didn't like it. It wasn't my idea to keep one of the parents alive, either. But she was the mother - closest DNA you can find, and they needed a backup subject._

 _Besides, I was cocky enough to assume some soft pre-War lady wouldn't be able to survive the Commonwealth, much less actually find me. Guess I should have seen it coming - I understood that kind of revenge all too well. Better than anyone._

 _Grab the kid, cut off the oxygen supply from the rest of the pods and re-freeze the backup subject. Nothing simpler than that._

 _Of course, at the time I had no idea just who we were kidnapping - neither did the Institute, not really. But it's funny how things like that turn out sometimes..._

Memory jump forward.

 _I was in my house in Diamond City._

 _The kid was sitting on the floor and playing with some crappy toys the Institute had got him while I was cleaning my revolver. The radio was playing some crappy music as always and that wimp of a DJ kept on talking about that reporter girl again. I hated it all, every single part of it, but it was also peaceful in a way._

 _It wasn't my idea to settle down with the kid right in the middle of Diamond City. Actually, I thought it was a terrible idea. We were supposed not to attract attention, after all. But it was all a part of the old man's big scheme, whatever it was._

 _But those several months we spent there together... It was a nice break from the usual. A bit of what my life could have been like if things went different. Damn, I grew to like that kid. He wasn't trouble._

 _I instinctively aimed my pistol at the door when it opened abruptly, but I didn't shoot when I realized it was one of the Institute's Coursers. Those newer model synths were terrifyingly advanced and could pass as real people. Some of them did. But the Coursers weren't like the rest. They were killing machines, pure and simple - faster and stronger than almost any real human being. I was just glad they were always on my side._

 _"I told you to stop being so abrupt about it," I growled, holstering the revolver. Shaun looked up from his toys, but didn't say anything._

 _"The Institute needs you, Kellogg," the courser said. I rolled my eyes._

 _"Of course you do, you wouldn't come visit otherwise." I stood up. "What is it?"_

 _He pulled a file out of his coat._

 _"There's a scientist who escaped from the Institute. Brian Virgil." It always creeped me out how emotionless the coursers could be. Their appearance made you forget they weren't human - but inside, they were just killing machines. "He worked on a highly-classified project. Persuasion is not an option. He needs to be exterminated before he has the chance to share his knowledge with anyone from the Commonwealth."_

 _I took the file and looked inside. "One of the top biochemistry boys," I whistled. "Wow, you're in trouble."_

 _The courser didn't respond - they barely ever did, another sign of how not human they were._

 _I sighed. "And I take it you're taking Shaun with you."_

 _"Affirmative." The courser helped the boy get up. "Come with me."_

 _"Are you taking me to my father?" Shaun asked, looking around. 'My father'. The kid was more right than he knew, but of course it wasn't my place to judge whatever information the old man had been feeding him._

 _"Yes." The courser spoke into the microphone in his outfit. "Preparing for transportation with Shaun." He turned to the boy. "Stand close to me, like this."_

 _"Okay." Shaun waved at me with a smile. "Goodbye, Mr Kellogg! It was fun hanging out with you!"_

 _Then, as abruptly as always, lightning hit into them. After the light disappeared, they were already gone. I stood there, in the middle of the room, in silence._

 _"Goodbye," I whispered. Then, without wasting any more time, I picked up my revolver, the file on that Virgil guy, and my jacket, and just walked out of the house._

I gasped when, suddenly, the entire scenery changed and I realized I was closed inside some small pod. I banged my fist on the glass, wanting someone to get me out of there.

Everything was so confusing. On some level, I knew that my name was Conrad Kellogg, but my subconscious fought with that statement. I had to remind myself the most recent events. _I was in Fort Hagen. That Vault woman had found me._ No. No, that wasn't me. It was, but... it wasn't. I shut my eyes. _Goodneighbor_. _Memory Den_. I wasn't Kellogg, I just saw his memories.

 _His entire life._

It was a part of me now.

"Careful," someone said when I tried to get out of the pod. I fell to the floor, feeling dizzy. "Careful! How are you feeling?"

For a moment, I forgot how to speak.

"Confused," I replied eventually. "It was so... realistic."

"It was _real_ , after all." Doctor Amari helped me stand up. "What happened?"

"Kellogg..." I said quietly. "I can't possibly forgive him, but... I understand."

"Yes," Amari agreed. "He was a human being just like all of us and he had a reason for everything he did, however cruel."

I looked around hastily, as a new thought hit me. "Where's Nick?" I asked, seeing that my friend was nowhere to be seen. A wave of panic washed through me. "Is he alright?"

"I had to unplug Mr Valentine first," the doctor assured me calmly. "He's fine, I told him to wait upstairs."

I shot Piper an askew look.

"I'm guessing you were told the same thing, except you didn't listen."

She grinned, and that was all response I needed.

"How much do I owe you, doctor?" I asked, reaching for my backpack. I had left it on the sofa.

"Oh, you don't need to pay." Doctor Amari joined her hands behind her back. "With how much you and Mr Valentine put yourselves at risk, it would be unfair of me to ask for any other payment. But, for the good of science, I do hope you find the Institute soon. Then, we can maybe talk about some favor."

She smiled at me and I felt terrible for smiling back.

"I'm not gonna find the Institute," I said to Piper once the door was closed behind us. "I knew it was a hopeless cause, but I... I had no idea _how much."_

"You saw something in there, didn't you?" She tilted her head. "Gosh, that's some serious level of commitment. I wouldn't share a _drink_ with Kellogg, let alone a brain..."

"Don't even say," I winced, massaging my forehead. "For a moment there, I wasn't even sure which memories were mine."

"So... Sorry for prying, but I've gotta know. Why exactly are you so beaten up about this?" Piper frowned. "Kellogg didn't know how to get to the Institute, did he? It was for nothing."

"No... He did," I said quietly. "That's how I know it's hopeless." I sighed. "They use teleportation, Pipes. That's the only entrance to the Institute - there _is_ no entrance."

She covered her mouth, her eyes shining. No... Was she about to cry? But why?

"Oh, Blue... I'm _so_ sorry," she whispered. I put an arm around her.

"Don't cry. It's _my_ problem."

"No, it's not. If this is the truth, then... Then it's the end. Not just for you, but for everyone. How can we fight the Institute if it's not even possible to get there?" Piper kicked the wall, her sadness transforming into anger surprisingly quickly. "Dammit!"

"Piper!" I exclaimed, my eyes wide in shock.

"It's pointless! All. That. Time! I've spent years of my life investigating these creeps and now you're telling me it was in vain?!" She kicked the wall again. "It's not fair!"

"Piper!" I put a hand on her shoulder. She looked into my eyes. "I _know_. But you can't let yourself get so carried away!"

"But Blue... Your son," she said quietly. "How can you be so calm?"

"They took my son over ten years ago," I said, leaning on the wall in the same spot she had just attacked. "Inside Kellogg's memories, I saw him... He was _happy_. He was already _familiar_ with those bastards, treated them like family!" I dug my nails into my skin, not caring that the cuts on my palms had barely finished healing. "I'm calm because I know I've lost, Piper."

"Don't say that."

I sighed. "Let's just go check up on Nick, see what _he_ has to say about the whole thing." I rubbed my chin. "He's seen Kellogg's memories too, right? Maybe he noticed something I didn't."

He was upstairs, sitting on one of the sofas. He looked strangely quiet.

"Hey, Nick, are you alright?" I asked, looking at the synth. He looked back at me, but when he spoke, it wasn't Nick's voice. It was a voice I had hoped never to hear again.

"Hope you found what you were looking for inside my head," Kellog said nonchalantly. "Had fun poking around someone else's memories?:

Piper and I spoke at the same time.

"Nick?!"

"Kellogg?!"

"What?" Nick shook his head and blinked a few times. He looked at us and raised his eyebrows. "You two look like you've just seen a ghost. Did I miss anything?"

He chuckled, but neither of us felt like laughing. Piper took a step back.

"Nick... What- What the hell was that?"

"What was what?" He narrowed his eyes.

"For a moment, you sounded like-" Piper began, but I put my hand on her shoulder and shook my head.

"You look seriously shaken. Both of you. You sure everything's alright?" Valentine smiled at us, but we didn't smile back. I closed my eyes.

"Nick... There's something wrong with you.I'm not sure you're completely fit to keep on."

"I feel fine, I am fine." He shook his head. "I have no idea what you're on about."

Piper looked sick. I was feeling butterflies in my stomach too, and it wasn't the good kind of excitement.

"Come on, then. Let's head out of here. I'm getting sick of Goodneighbor's criminal vibe." Nick stood up from the sofa and looked at us. "You two are looking at me really weird."

"Nick, I can't... You're not alright. You, I don't know, you might be dangerous."

"And you are just gonna let her talk like that?" Valentine turned to Piper. He was keeping it all in a light, joking character, but neither Piper nor me could respond to it that way.

"She's right, Nick. I'm.. not comfortable with you right now," she said quietly.

"I told you I'm alright. Quit worrying. But if you really don't want me around, fine. I'll head on to Diamond Cit alone for now. I'll meet you girls there."

Piper grabbed my hand as he walked away gloomily.

"Blue..."

"I know."

"I just feel so bad right now. He doesn't have a clue, and we just... We just shut him out."

I let go of her hand.

"Well, what were you expecting me to say?! It's been fun, Nick, but I think you've been possessed by Kellogg's spirit and I can't trust you right now?! How would he react to that kind of shit?!"

"I'm sorry!" Piper grabbed her head. "I panicked, alright?! What was I supposed to do?! I've never been in a situation like this!"

We looked at each other panicking and, maybe it was the nerves, but we burst into almost hysterical laughter.

"Oh boy..." Piper said after we calmed down a bit. "Oh."

I smiled.

"We're both terrible people, then," I summed up.

"So we're good?"

"Yeah." I patted her on the shoulder. "We're good."

"Now let's get outta here. I'll be damned if I have to spend a night in Goodneighbor."

"It's barely noon, Piper," I laughed. "But I guess you're right. Let's get out of this place."

We went out of the building.

"Hey there," I said and knelt down next to Dogmeat, who was sitting on the sidewalk. My mood was immediately brightened. "I can't believe this animal actually decided to stick with me."

Piper laughed. "What can I say? You've got positive vibes, Blue. Dogs feel that kind of thing."

I looked at the ground. _Positive?_ I was being fuelled by hatred, nothing less. Hatred for the Institute, for the Wasteland, for the entire world. If I were able to, I would slaughter half of this town's population simply because I had personal issues. How could anyone call that positive?

I gritted my teeth and closely hugged the dog. His fur was thick and soft, so I could almost bury my whole face in it. That was a nice feeling.

Dogmeat whimpered in a way that was almost sympathetic. I let go and scratched him behind the ear.

"It's okay." I didn't know if I was lying to Piper, the dog or myself. But I knew that it was definitely not okay.

Piper helped me stand up. "What do you plan on doing now?"

"Huh?" I tilted my head at her.

"Well, you know your son hasn't been taken a few weeks ago, but a few _years_ ago. You know that he's in the Institute, which is underground somewhere. You know how to get there, and you know it's impossible to get there." She tapped her foot on the concrete of the sidewalk. "Two things I've got to point out. One, in the last two weeks we've gathered more info on the Institute than I ever did on my own during the last five years - or anyone else during the last hundred years since the Institute created their first synths. And that's great. That's absolutely amazing." She pursed her lips. "But two. Even with all we've found out, we somehow still don't know anything."

"Anything?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Not enough. We don't know enough to go on," she precised. "So here's my question. I don't mean to rush you, but what exactly do you plan on doing rn?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "I think I'll try to get some job or something. Short-term, just to earn some bottlecaps." I clenched my fist. "Don't think just because we're stuck, I'm giving up. I'm still after the Institute and I _do_ want to make them pay."

"Blue... Nora..."

I stirred at the sound of my first name.

"What is it?" My composure was completely shattered now.

"You looked so... I mean, I get why you would go after the Institute. I am too, but... That kind of blind vendetta can't be good. Not for you, not for anyone. You can't cling to that revenge like it's the only thing you've got!"

I looked down. Dogmeat whimpered, brushing against my leg. I looked at hem and smiled widely when I realized something.

"You're right, Pipes." I ran a hand through my hair, angry at it for getting in my face. "It's not. I used to have nothing but this revenge. But now, I've got you guys. And Dogmeat. There's the Brotherhood of Steel... I do have a purpose." I smiled at her. "And it's not _just_ getting the Institute."

Piper smiled. I patted her on the shoulder.

"Now, let's scoot." I mentally cringed. _I'm never saying 'scoot' again._

We calculated that we should get out of the city center before dusk if we hurried, then, get to Diamond City the next day. But we barely made it three streets away from Goodneighbor until something else interrupted us.

Of course, I couldn't possibly know that my decision at that moment would be one of the most important ones in my life.

"Whoa. I've never seen a working one," Piper said, her voice filled with awe. I followed her gaze to the sky and finally noticed a vertibird flying over our heads. The sound I had taken for distant machine gunfire was the helicopter's rotors.

But... A working vertibird. That wasn't normal in the Commonwealth, was it? Then where...

"Oh," I said when, suddenly, _so many_ pieces joined together in my head. "Of course."

"What of course?" Piper asked, exasperated. "Enlighten me."

I grinned as a feeling or excitement rushed through the whole of my body.

"I've got to run!" I shouted, leaving Piper behind and heading towards where the vertibird had gone. "But I'll get in touch with you! See you!"

"Wait!" She called out. "What?! Where are you going?! Blue!"

I didn't look back, the strange joy inside of me overtaking all of my emotions. I had wanted help in my fight with the Institute? _This_ would probably be the best help I could possibly get. I knew, somehow I knew, who was the only group in the Wasteland that could, potentially, own a working vertibird.

So when Piper asked where I was going, I was sure of my answer.

 _Cambridge._

 **Level up.  
** **New perk: Intense Training -** **you learned to trust science and technology just a tiny bit more. Immediately get +1 Intelligence point.**


	12. Shadow Of Steel

**Chapter Eleven  
Shadow Of Steel**

* * *

I decided to pass on sleep that night and as a result, I managed to reach the police station early in the morning.

The sun was just rising, so the world was bathed in a yellowish-grey light. Even after a nuclear war and two centuries of decay, the air in the morning was fresh and cool. I didn't even feel that tired (on the other hand though, I had downed two bottles of Nuka-Cola, so I was caffeinated at the moment).

As soon as I got nearer to the police station, I noticed not one, but two vertibirds on the roof. Two? Of course, taking Knight Rhys, Paladin Danse, Scribe Haylen, Paladin Brandis and who knew how much equipment? I doubted just two would be enough.

But at least it seemed I had arrived in time to at least say goodbye. Because that was what I wanted to do, wasn't it...?

I walked into the square and was met with another surprise: there were way more people here than I had expected! I could see at least ten soldiers, some of them in power armor, some of them in orange jumpsuits. That was _a lot_ of people!

The soldiers didn't pay me much mind as I hesitatingly walked to the police station. For once, I was grateful for how obvious the Brotherhood of Steel emblem on my chestplate was. I was sending a clear signal: _I'm with you_. They had the same symbol on the chest pieces of their power armor - now that I thought about it, I had seen it on Paladin Danse's before, too. I just hadn't acknowledged it.

What _were_ all those people doing here?

"You're that new Initiate, aren't you?" One of the soldiers asked. I nodded quickly, for the moment too stunned to speak. "Star Paladin Grimes wanted to see you. Go on inside."

I gently pushed the door and this time wasn't _very_ surprised to see there were at least ten people inside. Two men in uniforms like Scribe Haylen's, three in power armor, several in those orange jumpsuits (although one of them was dressed in a dark grey one like Paladin Brandis). Thankfully, the two soldiers I had met before were there too, so I didn't feel completely overwhelmed.

Of course, as soon as I entered the room, everyone looked at me. The conversation between the officers was cut off as Paladin Danse noticed me.

"And here's the woman herself," he announced, which immediately made me the center of attention. But before I had the chance to respond to that, he dragged me aside, his face practically beaming with joy. Wow, _someone_ was happy. "I'm looking for an honest opinion. Impressive, isn't it?"

"What exactly _is_ going on?" I asked, hoping he would explain it to me.

"The cavalry has arrived - and it looks like they've taken in the big guns. Everything thanks to you, of course, I can't even believe that I would- I mean, of course, it was a suicide mission, but still- I asked for only one vertibird, I didn't even suspect-"

"Slow down a bit," I shook my head. "I have no idea what you're saying."

"They're here. The Brotherhood of Steel." He laughed, as if still unable to believe it. "Everyone is here."

"Yes, I've noticed that."

"For _me_. That's... hard to grasp."

"You must be pretty important."

"Paladin Danse is officially the first officer to undergo a successful operation outside the Capital Wasteland in five years," one of the men said. He looked at me. "And you must be that new recruit he talked about. I'm Star Paladin Grimes."

"Sir." I stood to attention, because it only then came to my mind that maybe I should do that.

"At ease, Initiate." He smiled at me. "And answering your question, yes, he _is_ pretty important."

I returned the smile. He seemed friendly.

"I said it before, sir." Danse put his hands on my shoulders. I felt like a little kid. "I would have done nothing without Nora's help."

"As you've stated in your report, yes." Star Paladin Grimes reached into his pocket and pulled out a slip of paper. "And speaking of reports, I believe you will both be interested in this."

"Thank you." Paladin Danse took it into his hands and I watched him quickly read through the contents. A brief smile crossed his features. "Take a look at this."

He handed me the paper and, much to my dismay, it turned out to be just an ordinary report. Many blurred, tiny words all cramped on one page.

I squinted my eyes to read what it said.

"Are you alright, Initiate?" Paladin Danse asked - but this time, I could hear a faint note of concern in his voice. So he _did_ have human emotions after all. Fascinating. "Have you a problem with your sight?"

"I..." I hesitated. Somehow, I suddenly felt bad about not having mentioned that earlier. "Yes, sir."

"And you didn't say anything? That does _not_ fit a soldier. This situation is a danger to your survival, is it not?"

"I think you may be overreacting a _tiny_ bit," I tried to keep the sarcasm out of my voice, but it didn't really work. Neither did I want it to.

"We'll deal with this as soon as possible," he decided.

"What?" I laughed nervously. "No. You _really_ don't have to bother yourself with me. Besides, this is hardly a matter important enough to-"

"I'll forcefully drag you to the nearest optician if you don't stop."

I didn't know there were opticians in the Wasteland. I was learning many interesting things now.

Star Paladin Grimes patted the other officer on the shoulder friendlily. Everyone was friends here, right? It looked like that.

"There's a vertibird on the roof, ready to set off when you are," he said with a smile.

"Thank you, sir." Danse shook the man's hand. He looked at me. "And since you're officially under my care, you could come with me."

That 'could' sounded more like a 'should,' actually.

I nodded and whistled. "Come on, Dogmeat."

Paladin Danse seemed surprised.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but the last time we met, you didn't have a dog."

"Is it a problem?"

"Oh no," he assured me quickly. "Not at all. I just... haven't seen a tame animal for months. You can take him as far as I'm aware."

We walked out of the police station through the roof exit and I looked around, interested. The radio tower was clearly functioning now, the military frequency my Pip-Boy was picking up only a confirmation. There was a vertibird parked on the helicopter landing platform which had been a part of the original building 200 years ago already. There were at least five other soldiers, some of them in power armor, around here - and among them, I easily spotted Scribe Haylen's red hair. I smiled widely.

"Permission to wander off, sir?" I asked quickly, immediately jumping into the military manner of speaking. It was almost natural.

"Just make it quick," Paladin Danse nodded.

I ran up to Haylen. She noticed me and excused herself from the conversation with, as I was guessing from the uniform, another Scribe.

"Are you impressed yet?" She asked happily. "You and Danse did one hell of a job getting that transmitter."

"You did one hell of a job installing it," I replied with a smile. "Look, I just wanted to thank you. For everything."

She laughed. "Really, don't bother. You've got nothing to thank for, Initiate."

I fidgeted when she called me by my rank.

"Just Nora is enough," I said. I wouldn't dare say that to Paladin Danse or Star Paladin Grimes or whoever, but Haylen was much more friendly than the officers.

"Oh," she blushed. "Sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

A loud sound of an engine filled the air, soon accompanied by the noise of a helicopter rotor.

"Well, that's my cue," I said. "Thanks again!"

I walked over to the vertibird. Paladin Danse was already on board, talking with the pilot, loudly enough to shout over the noise.

"Good to go?!" He shouted to me. I nodded. "Come on then." He offered me a hand.

I looked at him for a long time, at the friendly smile on his face as he offered me his help. I narrowed my brows. No, I wasn't going to just let myself be this easily patronized. I was independent and strong, God damn it! I didn't need anyone's pity.

I climbed into the helicopter on my own, ignoring the soldier. I didn't need his help.

He sighed, the smile immediately gone. "Just hold on," he said in a tired tone before, shaking violently, the vertibird set off from the ground.

Silence fell after that, so the only sound I could hear was the vertibird's engine and rotor. It was surprisingly peaceful, though: we were just below the lowest cloud level, so the sun that usually wasn't seen in the Commonwealth was shining brightly above us, making the post-apocalyptic cityscape below shine in the light. The new perspective was amazing, unlike anything I had seen in the Wasteland so far.

"The Commonwealth looks different from up here, doesn't it?" Paladin Danse practically vocalized my thoughts.

"Oh yeah," I responded, still looking down.

"It never ceases to amaze me how drastically your view of the battlefield can change after getting an aerial point of view," he added, then looked at me. "Be careful, though. It's a long way down - I doubt there would be anything left to bury if you fell."

"Mhm, sure." I nodded, then leaned out when I noticed the ruins of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

Paladin Danse almost panicked when I did that, and put an arm around my waist.

"I swear you're going to fall out eventually," he muttered. "No consideration of personal safety."

I fidgeted out of his grasp, highly uncomfortable. Even with that armor setting us apart, he was _too close_. I _really_ didn't like men in my personal space.

"So, um... _Where_ are we going, exactly?" I asked.

"I don't know how much you've seen, but I don't suppose the Brotherhood's arrival was something you could miss..." He saw my clueless expression and ran a hand through his hair. "I take it you've missed it, then."

"I must have," I replied diplomatically.

"In that case, I'll try to explain this as briefly as possible... In short, the entire Brotherhood of Steel has come to the Commonwealth. Full military mobilization, something we hadn't done since the war with the Enclave, almost ten years."

"All that just because you called for help?" I whistled. "Blimey, I'm with a VIP here."

"It did not matter who I _am_ , just what I've _found_."

"Alright, whatever. Where are we going again?"

"To the Boston airport. That's where the Brotherhood's flagship is currently positioned. It's called the Prydwen - the most impressive vehicle built after the Great War, I can assure you. Big enough to transport an entire army, and not lacking in style, either. Easily the Brotherhood's greatest technological achievement." Something in his eyes hardened. "If the Prydwen's here, that means Elder Maxson is here. And if he's here, that means..." He drifted off, staring into the horizon. "Nevermind."

" _What_ does it mean?" I asked immediately.

"It's nothing. Don't bother yourself with it, soldier."

I didn't like the idea that they would be keeping something from me already. And I had had such high hopes for the Brotherhood of Steel.

"Okay then..." I was still full of questions. "Who's Elder Maxson?"

I was hoping for a more concrete answer this time.

"He's the leader of the Brotherhood of Steel - the current leader, at least. And I'm glad you asked, because judging by that report, he wants to meet _you_ now."

"Me?" I repeated. "How would the leader of the Brotherhood of Steel even know who I am?"

"As a Brotherhood officer, it's my duty to keep a record of everything that happens during a mission... Including the unexpected help from," he smiled, "surprisingly cooperative civilians."

" _You_ told him about me," I summed up.

"If you're to be a full member of the Brotherhood, you'll have to be officially recorded sooner or later anyway. I did you a favor." He took a glance out the window. "Ah, and there she is! The Prydwen in all her glory."

I looked where he was looking and finally saw the huge airship that was marooned in the sky above the airport. Vastly resembling a zeppelin, it was made entirely from metal. The size was _incredible_ \- and that's coming from someone who'd lived before the world went to hell! We were heading towards the lowest level of the ship, which was the only open part - I could spot at least _six_ vertibirds docked in there.

"Wow," I whispered. "So much for not getting involved in anything big."

"What do you mean?"

"Well... This is my doing. _Ours_ , I mean. If it wasn't for me and you, this whole..." I waved my hand around, _"thing_ wouldn't be happening now. I... I brought the Brotherhood of Steel to the Commonwealth."

"I was hoping you'see that," he admitted. "But don't let it get to your head. You won't be treated differently than other soldiers. Not by me, at least."

"I thought you were grateful."

"Personally, I'm impressed, but don't mistake that for affection."

 _Well, that was cold._

"Yes, sir," I said quietly. "Of course."

"Don't look so down. You'll get used to this way of life rather quickly. Unless I'm deeply mistaken about you, of course."

There was a moment of silence as we approached the airship.

" _Prydwen_ ," I said aloud. I narrowed my brows as a sudden realization hit me. "Hold on. Wasn't that...?"

Paladin Danse didn't answer.

"I want you to listen carefully now..." he said slowly, staring into the horizon.

"Sir." Playing soldier was kind of fun, actually.

"We're about to dock on the Prydwen," he said. "The officer meeting us will be Lancer-Captain Kells. Just don't do anything unless asked to, let me lead the conversation and answer all the questions you're asked as briefly as possible." Paladin Danse looked at me with a critical eye. "You should be able to make a good first impression," he decided. "What happened to you?"

I touched the bandages on my forehead. "It's nothing serious, just a bump... I think it's healed by now, actually."

I reached out to take the dressing off, but he just waved his hand.

"Don't bother. Keep it on, it makes you look more serious."

I nervously grabbed the wall when the vertibird started shaking as we landed on one of the docking spots on the ship's lowest deck. Those were clearly _designed_ for vertibirds - all the more impressive, if I were to believe that this airship was built after the War.

Paladin Danse waved at some man who was standing on the deck and clearly waiting for something. For _us_ , as I was guessing.

"Permission to come aboard, sir?!" He shouted over the sound of the propellers of the vertibird.

"Come right on, Paladin!" The officer I assumed to be Lancer-Captain Kells replied. "Welcome back! It _is_ nice to see you alive and in one piece!"

Paladin Danse jumped off the helicopter and turned towards me. "Come on," he said, yet again offering me a helping hand. _When_ would than man learn? I jumped onto the floor with much less grace than I would have with his help, but with my dignity intact. I didn't need anyone's help - I wasn't weak.

"Your chargee?" The man was talking _about_ me but not _to_ me.

"Yes, sir," Danse replied curtly. "She helped us at ArcJet and shows a great deal of potential. I've field promoted her to Initiate already, but I would also like to personally sponsor her application into the Brotherhood."

"Yes, Paladin, I've read your reports." Kells tilted his head. "You'll be pleased to know that the Elder has approved your request."

Paladin Danse exhaled, clearly relieved.

"Thank you, Captain."

"You'll thank the Elder when you meet with him. For now, you're dismissed." He bowed his head. "You can leave now."

"Sir." The Paladin bowed his head, gave me a reassuring smile, and walked away towards what I assumed was the door to the main deck.

"Nora Smith, right?"

I stirred at the sound of the last name I hadn't heard for weeks. I didn't even _use_ it anymore.

"Yes, sir..." I replied warily.

He looked at me for a very long moment before eventually nodding his head in approval.

"Well. For better or worse, you've already been accepted into the Brotherhood. There's not much I can tell you now, except that Elder Maxson wants to speak with you personally. I don't know if Paladin Danse has stressed this enough, but this is an honor for someone of your rank, Initiate." He cleared his throat, motioning for me to follow him as he walked towards the end of the docks. "I can only wish you all the best from now on. Sure, you may not _look_ like a soldier, but if you fall in line, you won't have trouble with staying in line." Kells stopped, his hand on the handle of the door. "Am I right or wrong?"

I had been only half-listening, so I wasn't exactly sure how to reply.

"Yes, sir," I said quickly. By that point, I was convinced that repeating that would really take me places. It seemed like the safest answer to everything.

Lancer-Captain Kells blinked, put off by my answer.

"Yes..." He said, obviously miffed. "Either way, this is the commandment deck." He opened the door and we entered the ship. "You don't really have any business here unless you're summoned by a higher-ranked officer. This is also where the quarters of all officers are. Regular soldiers like you live on the main deck, up this ladder."

I registered all of that information as carefully as I could, painfully aware that I had managed to get lost in _Diamond City_. I had to learn my way around this time.

"This is the bridge," Kells added, more quietly. There was a small crowd of maybe fifteen people in the place he had pointed to. "The Elder will be giving a debriefing to the higher-ranked officers at the moment, but I don't think anyone would throw you out if you go in."

"Thank you," I said. He just nodded and walked away without a word.

I quietly entered the bridge, bracing myself for meeting the leader of the Brotherhood. Elder Maxson.

I was in the back row when he started speaking.

"Paladins and Star Paladins," he addressed the officers. I hadn't yet seen the man, but his voice was captivating. Very charismatic. He cleared his throat. "Soldiers."

I moved to the corner and finally could see what he looked like.

If I were to guess Elder Maxson's age, I was guessing somewhere from mid-twenties to early forties. Dark brown hair, very short, beard, blue eyes... I barely acknowledged any of that, focused on the long scar that adorned his right cheek. And if his posture hadn't been authoritative enough, that alone caused respect. He had been through his share of fighting. It wasn't the kind of leader who would just sit back an watch - this man would go into combat with his soldiers. He already _had_.

I found it hard to concentrate on anything but his speech. The sound of his voice was simply mesmerizing, the tone - confident and convincing. The words that he spoke really got through to me, too.

He paced back and forth without any rush or nervousness.

"First of all, I would like to congratulate you all on the hard work you've put into mobilizing our forces and hastening our arrival in the Commonwealth. Special recognition must go to Paladin Brandis and Paladin Danse, as well as the sacrifice of the soldiers under their commandment. They will no doubt be recognized as heroes."

All those officers were looking at him with awe, eagerly grasping every word. I found myself carefully listening too.

"We are here today not by coincidence, but thanks to months of preparation. True, the information provided by Paladin Danse played a part in the speed of our arrival here. But we have _not_ ," Elder Maxson paused, and I could feel the emphasis on that word, "come here because of some new situation. We have come here to address the threat that has been growing here, in the Commonwealth, for a very long time." He stopped walking and put his hands behind his back.

I stood to attention even though the Elder couldn't see me in the back row. This man had a presence so strong that my own charisma almost wanted to crawl away in fear.

"You all already know about the Institute. I hope I needn't explain how _revolting_ is the simple idea of what their research is focused on at the moment." Maxson's eyes hardened. "Synths. That's how they call their latest achievement - androids so advanced that they are not only able to masquerade as human beings, but are also free-thinking."

I heard murmurs among the Paladins, but I myself wasn't very surprised with that. Nick Valentine was a synth, after all. Some kind of old prototype model, but still. But _he_ seemed to think that the synths were a bad thing too, so... How did that work?

Elder Maxson put up his hand and the whispers died down.

"I know it may come as a shock to some of you, but the Institute has already got _beyond_ that stage. They have already created those robots." He clenched his fist, but let go surprisingly quickly. "This _notion_ that a machine could be granted free will may seem offensive, but it is, most of all, horribly dangerous. We have reasons to believe this kind of technology, if it isn't harnessed properly, has the potential to render as extinct as a species."

I opened my mouth.

"I will _not_ allow this line of experimentation to continue. Humanity has already seen its downfall not much over two hundred years ago. Founding the Brotherhood of Steel, my great great grandfather promised to keep the people of the American Wasteland safe. And I am fulfilling that promise at this moment, when I say that from now on, the Institute and all synths are considered enemies of the Brotherhood of Steel. If encountered, they should be dealt with swiftly and mercilessly."

He looked at the officers.

"I'm aware that this campaign will be costly. That many lives might be lost. But, in the end, we will be saving humankind from its worst enemy... Itself."

I had the deepest urge to clap my hands. We needed people like _that_! I felt motivated to take a gun and go at the Institute right then and there.

"Dismissed, soldiers."

I moved closer to the wall as the officers left the room, quietly chatting among themselves.

Elder Maxson briefly glanced at me.

"You're that new recruit Danse has mentioned, right?"

"Yes..." I narrowed my eyes, surprised at his less official manner of speaking. I didn't know how to play this conversation. "Yes, sir."

He looked straight at me, surprised at my response. I didn't blame him - I sounded like I was used to this way of speaking.

"Well, at least you have some manners," he said quietly. "Good."

He looked out the large window and spent a long moment looking at the panorama of Boston and the surrounding areas. The sight was _amazing_. Even after a nuclear detonation and two centuries of decay.

"I do care about them, you know." Elder Maxson didn't even look back, but I didn't doubt it was directed towards me. He glanced at me, as if to check if I was still listening. "The people of the Commonwealth. I care about them."

"I can see that," I replied, confused. Why was the leader of the Brotherhood of Steel having that conversation with someone he didn't even know?

"I'm glad you do, Initiate. But I'm afraid not everyone in the Commonwealth shares that point of view. That's mostly why I agreed to Danse's ridiculous request of letting you into the Brotherhood... We might need someone like you, someone who knows this land and its people."

I decided not to mention that I had only known this land and its people for two weeks.

"Aren't you going to speak at all?"

I fidgeted.

"I'm sorry. I just... Well, I was very impressed with your speech, sir."

"Getting on my good side already?" He huffed. "That's good for you, soldier. Good for you."

"Sir?"

"You've got very devoted allies among my officers. Paladin Brandis came to me personally to vouch for you. Paladin Danse asked me to hasten your graduation into the corps. Conveniently enough, I happen to have a special assignment which needs to be done... How about a deal, Initiate?"

"With all due respect, refusing somehow doesn't feel like an option, sir."

A flicker of amusement lit up in his eyes.

"It isn't. But I've got the courtesy to at least ask before I send you on this mission."

There was no point in arguing. And considering that was a special assignment, that was good. I would have a chance to prove myself, to go up the ranks. And that was _exactly_ what I wanted, after all.

"What's the mission?" I asked simply.

"Come over here." He nodded at the window. I hesitantly walked to stand a few meters away from him. "I don't _bite_ , soldier."

I cleared my throat, but didn't come closer. "What am I looking at?"

Maxson touched the window.

"This is US Army supply fort 'Boston'. Also known as Fort Strong. This is where Paladin Danse lost half of his team, where the pre-War military kept a great deal of their weapon arsenal, and where we plan to attack as the first battle of our campaign."

"Okay." I cringed. "I mean yes, sir." _Soldier, Nora. Think of yourself as a soldier. This is your commanding officer._ "Why are we attacking this place if we've already lost people here? Isn't it dangerous?"

"We're attacking it because it's going to help us in the war against the Institute. Among the weaponry gathered at the fort, there should be a stash of Fat Man shells." The Fat Man was the most destructive man-held weapon ever developed - it used miniature atomic bombs as ammunition. I could see why the Brotherhood of Steel would want that in their arsenal. "But the whole outpost is overrun by Super Mutants."

"That's _not_ good," I said weakly. I was seriously afraid of those things.

"You're right, Initiate. It's not. And that's where you come in. I want you to go in there, secure the weaponry, and kill everything that moves."

My eyes widened.

"Aren't I gonna get any training before this?"

"You'll receive all proper training if you survive it."

"But-" But that was ridiculous! How was I supposed to survive if I didn't have any military training?! I noticed the faint spark in Elder Maxson's eyes. He was only waiting for me to start protesting. _Oh_. He was testing me.

I narrowed my eyes. "Yes, sir. Consider it done," I said in a low voice.

"Very well, Initiate. You don't have to do this alone, though. I've temporarily attached you to one of my special operations squads. It's just a temporary assignment, but nonetheless you should familiarize yourself with other soldiers from the team."

"Yes, sir," I repeated.

"That's not all. If you are to remain a part of the Brotherhood, you had better learn how to be a part of the Brotherhood. I trust Paladin Danse has explained to you the basic principles of our order."

He had _mentioned_ something.

"Yes, sir. He has."

"He's performed his duty as the officer who introduced you to the Brotherhood, then. Good. I'll have him know how well you speak of him." He narrowed his eyes. "And to what extent you are willing to lie for his sake."

"Sir?" I took a step back, surprised at the sudden change in the atmosphere of the conversation.

"What happened at the ArcJet building, Initiate?"

"Your soldier saved my life. Repeatedly. We were attacked by some of the Institute's robots and he put his life on the line to save me."

"I find it interesting how inconsistent your versions of the same story are." He drummed his fingers on the handle of his custom-made laser pistol. "And I'm more inclined to believe one of my best officers than some stranger who just barely joined our forces, so forgive me, but I'll just stick with the version Danse offered me. So let me ask you something, soldier: why did you risk your life helping my soldiers? People you've just barely met, actually. People you didn't know, people you didn't know you could trust... Why did you help them out?"

 _Why did I do that?_

"I..." I opened my mouth, but couldn't find the words. _Why_ had I helped them out? "It's a personal matter," I said quietly. "My husband was a soldier. He's gone now, and... I found helping other soldiers quite therapeutic for dealing with the loss."

He pursed his lips. He clearly hadn't expected me to share that much.

"I understand..." He said slowly. "Then I don't have any questions as to why you decided to join."

I glanced down at my feet.

"Do you know what this is?" Elder Maxson held up a folded sheet of paper. I shook my head. "That's the field report from Reconnaissance Squad Gladius, written by Paladin Danse and Scribe Haylen."

Yes, but why was he telling me that?

"I'm showing you this as an explanation to why you've been accepted into our ranks so fast. Because this report, among other things, describes your actions, as well as a brief evaluation of your skills. According to Paladin Danse, you're 'lacking in average military abilities required to undergo even the simplest operations'." He looked up from the report. "His words, not mine. But he also stated that you, and I quote, 'have an outstanding ability to overcome obstacles in an unconventional way'." He folded the paper. "In sumup, he described you as 'surprising', although later pointed out that he meant it in both positive and negative meanings of the word. For some reason, Danse seems quite fond of you - and seeing how this is one of my most respected field officers we're talking about, you couldn't possibly get a better recommendation. If he _is_ right about you... With some training, of course, but I think you may be a fine addition to our ranks."

"Yes, sir. I understand," I said quietly. "Shall I set off right away?"

 _Please no, please no._ I desperately needed some rest.

"For now, I want you to familiarize yourself with the Prydwen and her crew. Talk to Paladin Danse, he's your sponsor, Proctor Ingram, your quartermaster, Lancer-Captain Kells, the ship's captain..." He gave my clothing a criticizing look. "And check in to Proctor Taegan to get your uniform and kit."

Paladin Danse, Proctor Ingram, Lancer-Captain Kells, Proctor Taegan. Four people I needed to know, apparently. And I was two fours done already.

"The attack on Fort Strong is planned for tomorrow morning." He looked me straight in the eye and I nervously straightened my back. The man was intimidating. "Don't fail this mission and I'll be ready to grant you the rank of Knight."

I stared at him. Wow, that was... a bit soon, wasn't it?

"Report to the Paladin in charge of your squad after you're done," Maxson continued on, completely ignoring my reaction. "You are dismissed, soldier."

"Sir." I did a quick, two-fingered salute and walked away. I wasn't sure what was the proper way to act around this officer. I wasn't a soldier - not yet at least - even if I was trying my best to become one.

"You're supposed to do the HOH salute!" Maxson called out after me.

I felt myself blushing - especially since I had no idea what that even stood for.

I also had no idea where to look for any of the people I was supposed to meet. I ended up asking some Scribe (I was beginning to recognize the different uniforms now) and he told me, more or less, where I could find the mess hall, the power armor maintenance station and the supplies station - and that was his answer to my question about specific _people_.

I decided to just roll along with the little info I had. To be honest, I wasn't completely sure where to go first, but I figured that I wouldn't be able to mistake a _power armor station_ with anything else.

I managed to find the place pretty fast. The whole room was like a mechanic's workshop, with workbenches and all sorts of tools all over. Power armor - assembled or otherwise - was everywhere, too.

"Looking for something specific?" Someone asked.

I spun around to see a short-haired woman, wearing a power armor frame without any protective parts. It was weird to look at the chassis alone. Something was off too, but I couldn't tell what. She smiled at me. "Ah. Of course, you're that new Initiate. Huh. Hadn't thought you'd be a woman."

"Fair enough," I said simply. "And that makes you...?"

"The name's Ingram. _Proctor_ Ingram - and that makes me your superior unless you make it Star Paladin, which I somehow don't really see happening soon. This lovely little grease pit, for one, is where you'll usually find me."

I looked around.

"It's pretty clean," I noticed.

"Yeah..." She laughed open-heartedly. "Well, I actually have them _clean_ all the grease every now and then."

I decided to go out on a limb and like Proctor Ingram. If only the other officers were as easy-going as her, I would be ready to devote my life to the Brotherhood of Steel.

"Anyhow, I don't think you need much from me right now, Initiate. I mostly deal with fixing power armor and the Prydwen. Basically, whenever something goes to hell, you call for me. And that's, like, all the time. No one dies, usually."

I tilted my head.

"Sounds like you have a pretty full plate," I said sympathetically.

"Plate? Soldier, please. I've got a full _table -_ and then some. Which actually reminds me that I have to get to it now, so if you'll excuse me..."

She moved to the workbench, but I stared at the armor frame as she moved. Something was off, but I couldn't say what it was.

"Your power armor... I've never seen anything like it," I said.

"You like it? Star Paladin Cross came up with the idea to use power armor as a prosthesis first. I used to get around in a wheelchair, but I have to admit this is whole damn more convenient. And yeah, the suit's been modified a bit so that I can move more freely. One of a kind. I built it myself, practically from scrap." She shrugged. "Some people like to do that. Everyone's got some kind of hobby, otherwise we'd all go insane. I tinker with power armor, Taegan draws, Hudson goes to the range, Neriah has her little zoo..." She laughed at my expression. "Don't think we're all completely uptight here. Everyone needs some way to relieve the stress, and there's enough free time off duty. So... what's yours?"

"Mine?" I repeated. I was partially still accepting the fact that this woman was disabled, so I didn't follow the conversation. "I don't know? To be honest, I never really... I mean, I have a dog. His name is Dogmeat. He's actually gone walkies somewhere as soon as I made it onto the Prydwen... I'm gonna have to find him," I realized suddenly.

"There was some dog in the mess hall," Ingram said. "German Shepherd?"

"That's him!" I shook her hand quickly. "Thanks!"

I set off to get him, but when I arrived at the mess hall, it turned out that some officers had already taken a liking to the dog and decided to share some of their food with him. I backed away quickly upon realizing that I had never fed Dogmeat too well. He deserved to have a good meal at least once... I left to find out who Proctor Taegan was.

It turned out he was the man in charge of the supply station. To be honest, that didn't really surprise me at this point. I just accepted all that new information and tried not to let it overwhelm me.

One more thing: until I got the rank of at least Knight, I wouldn't get my own suit of power armor.

Normally, I wouldn't have worried about that, because I had already come to the conclusion that I didn't like power armor, but I didn't see how I was to survive a full attack on a super mutant outpost _without_ that kind of protection.

Elder Maxson was testing me. I was aware of that. But I was also hoping that he didn't intend to get me killed in the process.

At least Proctor Taegan was nice - kind of. I just came up to him, said my name and rank and asked for my share of supplies, but he treated it like the single most important assignment in his life.

"Hold on. Nora, Nora..." He rummaged through the weapons stored in a sturdy, metal chest. "I've got something for you."

"For me?" I was surprised.

"Yes. A little extra your sponsor wanted me to add when I gave you your share."

"My sponsor, huh?" I repeated. "Not a chance I'll learn who that is?"

Proctor Taegan put a machinegun and a pistol on the counter. "Standard bundle for an Initiate like you," he explained. "AK-84, fully automatic. Thirty bullets loaded and a hundred to spare. 10mm pistol, six bullets loaded and twenty to spare." He pushed all of that in my direction. "That's your share of ammo for the week, by the way. You won't get a single bullet more from me, so if you plan some other operations, you'll just have to get supplies on your own."

"That doesn't seem like much," I noticed.

"It's not," he agreed. "To be honest, if I were setting the rules, I'd say to hell with rationing and let's just give supplies to the soldiers who need supplies. But I'm not in charge of this, so you'll just have to bear with me." He reached under the counter and pulled out an orange jumpsuit. "Your uniform," he explained.

"Oh cool," I said, taking it into my hands. My first step on the way to fitting in here.

"And this." Proctor Taegan carefully set a beautiful, custom modified laser rifle on the counter. It had a name carved on the hull, but without my eyeglasses, reading the cursive text was just impossible. "This is that extra I mentioned."

"It's amazing," I said. I took the weapon into my arms. It was much lighter than I had expected from something so carefully made. "What's it say?" I asked, pointing at the text.

"Another recruit who can't read..." He sighed, but took a look at the rifle. " _Righteous Authority_. I believe it's supposed to be this gun's name."

"And this isn't in standard, I take it."

Taegan seemed tired with all my questions. "I said already it's from your sponsor."

"Okay... Thanks for everything," I said, flashing a charming smile at him.

"Just doing my job," he replied with a chuckle.

I threw all the new weapons into my already-heavy backpack and promised myself I would sort it all later. (I didn't need three different rifles, did I?)

I still didn't know where I would sleep - if I had been assigned such a place at all - so I decided to hit the bathroom. Mostly because I was having issues with all those people being cleaner than me.

There were separate showers sections for men and women, and I was very grateful for that. I threw off my jacket, jeans and shirt and looked at my reflection in the mirror.

"Whoa," I whispered, taking a closer look with surprise.

The woman who looked back at me from the mirror wasn't the same Nora Smith who had left Vault 111 two weeks ago. My pre-War underwear was no longer white, courtesy of many days when I couldn't afford changing it. Days of poor or none nutrition had made me much thinner. There was a scar on the right side of my stomach, a memory of my encounter with Kellogg. But all that time spent on running, carrying heavy supplies and physical work had also hardened me in a way that no gym exercise ever could. I had muscles now - something I hadn't seen on myself since I had been a teenager - and there was some kind of strength in my posture, too. My steel grey eyes were no longer soft. There was more depth in them now.

I had changed. The Wasteland had changed me. But I didn't feel any regret - this change was only to be expected.

I slid the dirty bandages off my forehead. The cut had healed already, like I had guessed. The only thing I was wearing, aside from my underwear, was the wedding ring on my left hand.

I turned it on my finger, but didn't take it off.

"I'll get those Institute bastards yet," I promised in a whisper. "I will."

The next surprise came to me when I turned on the water.

I yelped in surprise, jumping out of the shower.

"Oh my God! Are you alright?" A blonde-haired woman wrapped in a wet towel peeked out of the other shower. She looked at me and laughed. "Oh. You're new, of course."

"H... Hot water?" I asked. "How?"

She chuckled.

"The water runs in pipes under the Prydwen's engines and gets heated up by the hot air we use to propel the ship. Convenient, isn't it?" She smiled. "I'm Star Paladin Evelyn, by the way."

Star Paladin. That was... many ranks higher than me.

"...Nora. Initiate, for now." I shook her hand.

"Nice to meet you, Nora." She patted me on the shoulder. "I really do hope you fit in here."

"For hot water in the showers?" I grinned. "I'll do anything."

Three minutes later, I was feeling much fresher, dressed in my new orange jumpsuit. I figured it wouldn't hurt to throw my leather jacket onto it, either.

"That hair's a bit long," Evelyn noticed as she combed her own. Shoulder length, just like Piper's. Every other woman I had met in the Wasteland had even shorter hair.

"I know," I said. "People keep telling me that. And... it actually does get in the way of shooting sometimes."

"I could cut it for you, if you want," she offered.

I bit my lip, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I had kept my black hair long for the last five years or so - I couldn't even imagine it short now. _It's either looks or practicality, Nora._

"Alright," I said as I knit my brows. "Cut it."

oooOOO***OOOooo

I nervously touched my hair. It now barely reached halfway through my neck, but, surprisingly, I didn't look as different as I had thought I would. Star Paladin Evelyn had kindly shown me the women's sleeping quarters, so I could leave my backpack and the civilian clothes in there. (Bunk beds! And I actually got the top pallet, lucky me.)

I was on my way to report back to Elder Maxson when someone suddenly grabbed my arm.

"And where do you think _you_ 're going?"

I stopped, surprised, and looked at the young man who was holding my wrist.

Until I walked past him, he had been casually leaning on the wall, apparently uninterested in everything - a statement that was proved false by how quickly he reacted to my presence.

He was wearing a dark grey zip-up jumpsuit (which at that point I knew was the officer's equivalent of the orange one for soldiers) and a brown bomber jacket thrown onto that.

It took me a second to recognize Paladin Danse.

It seemed I wasn't the only one who had undergone a small metamorphosis - he, for instance, looked _much_ better than before. His hair had been combed and washed - it turned out it wasn't dark brown like I had thought and instead raven black, much like my own. The dirt and grease were gone from his face. The only thing that managed to surprise me was that he hadn't shaved (especially since everyone else, even Paladin Brandis, had), but I came to the conclusion the five o'clock shadow only complimented his features.

"Sir." I bowed my head. (I didn't salute because, apparently, I didn't know how to do that.)

He looked me over. I realized it was the first time we saw each other in uniform - the change in me had to be as evident as the one in him. I wondered how I looked now. Like a proper soldier, maybe?

"Paladin?" I cleared my throat to get his attention - he was still holding my wrist, and it was beginning to hurt. He let go of me quickly and winced.

"I'm sorry... Damned headache. I can't focus," he muttered. There was a moment of silence. "You've... cut your hair," he said finally. "That's good. You... look good."

"Thank you, sir." I myself was still feeling strange after so many years of keeping my hair long, but a woman's got to do what a woman's got to do.

"Aside from that, I believe we have some unfinished business, Initiate."

"We do?" I raised an eyebrow.

"If I recall correctly, I promised I'd drag you to medical - by force, if necessary."

"I don't think that will be necessary," I said, hoping that he wasn't really planning on that.

"Good." He gave me a gentle push. "Come along now."

Maybe I could use that moment to get some information. He already thought I was a hopeless cause, so it wouldn't hurt to ask.

"What's the HOH salute?"

Paladin Danse looked at me strangely, then strengthened his back and put a clenched fist to his chest.

"The hand-over-heart salute," he explained. "It is a way of demonstrating devotion to our cause. You put your hand on your chest because you promise to devote your whole heart for the good of humanity."

I nodded. It was like the Pledge of Allegiance back before the War. Maybe the symbolism was different, but the gesture itself was nearly identical.

"Have you checked in to Knight-Captain Cade yet?"

"Um... No, sir. I don't think so," I replied honestly. "He's the medic?" I guessed.

"You'll have to go through your standard medical exam, too, then."

The medical bay on the Prydwen wasn't very impressive - I was pretty sure the doctor's office in Diamond City was equally well equipped. That managed to surprise me, because until now the Brotherhood of Steel had been constantly winning with the Commonwealth in terms of advancement.

The middle-aged man in a doctor's overall, who had to be Knight-Captain Cade, was standing by the desk and putting some data into a terminal. He stopped that when we entered.

"Ah, Paladin." He looked at my companion with some surprise. "You're back soon. Has it gotten worse?"

Paladin Danse shook his head.

"No, I'm not here to assess my medical condition. It's about this recruit." He pushed me forward. I felt like a little kid shown off by its parent. "I think she has a sight defect."

Knight-Captain Cade looked at me for only one second. "I don't know you."

"No, you don't," I said truthfully. He picked up a notepad and a pen from his desk.

"Name and rank?"

"Initiate. Nora Smith." I hesitated when he put the pen to paper and began writing. I recalled what Piper had told me about how most people in the Wasteland didn't have a last name. Then, I remembered how Kellogg had finally found his peace in learning how to move on. I could do that too. I _should_. "You can put me down as just Nora."

Cade glanced up at me from over his notepad.

"Fresh start, huh?" He closed his eyes. "Well, there's nothing wrong with that. Initiate Nora, first officially recorded day of duty." He looked up at me, his eyebrows raised. "Marital status, age, and all living family."

"You're kidding," I said, half amused as to why they would want that information and half angry because they were invading my private matters.

"Not as such."

"Widow. Two hundred and thirty-six. No living family - a ten-year-old infant boy, but probably dead too." I was probably a bit too bitter about it all, and my tone might have been a bit too sarcastic - even though it all was _technically_ true.

Cade levelled a glare at me and I sighed.

"I'm twenty-six years old," I explained. "I had a husband, but..." I hesitated when I realized Paladin Danse was listening. I didn't finish that line of thought. "My son has been kidnapped, I'm not hoping for a reunion. Is _that_ precise enough?"

"These questions are the most basic information," he said calmly. "Everyone's got to go through it, there's no need to get angry. Now, what did you say was wrong with you?"

"I didn't," I answered truthfully and stood up. Danse put a hand on my shoulder and pushed me back into the chair. I sighed.

"The recruit has shown signs of a possible sight defect," he explained. "Her actions suggest she may not clearly see objects closer to her. My personal observation indicates some of her habits may originate from wearing correction eyeglasses earlier on. There's obviously something wrong with her eyes." He gave me a heavy look. "And she's not very good at hiding it."

"I hate you," I complained. He seemed surprised.

"No, not yet," he said calmly. I honestly didn't know how to react to an answer like that. 'Not yet'?

"Did you use to wear eyeglasses?" The doctor asked. I sighed - there was no point in pretending I didn't need help.

"Yes, I did," I answered. "Pluses, two point fifteen."

Cade nodded. "I'll see what I can find."

He left the room, leaving the two of us alone. I wriggled uncomfortably, aware that Paladin Danse was carefully watching my every move. I really needed to start a conversation or else this would get more awkward than it needed to be.

"I've been to get my share of supplies," I said casually. "Got a sweet modified laser rifle. Proctor Taegan said it was from my sponsor. Would you know who that is?" That seemed like a safe question - besides, I really wanted to know.

He smirked - it only lasted for a second, but there _was_ an actual smile on his face.

"Of course I would. It's me, after all."

I thought that maybe I was very stupid because, now that I thought about it, I could remember him saying something about how he wanted to advocate my application to the Brotherhood.

"So what's this talk about you being my sponsor?" I asked. "Is it like what Haylen told me how Rhys was her guide back when she was new?"

"Yes, and no." Paladin Danse rubbed his chin. "You see, Haylen decided to be a Scribe, which contradicted the Knight status Rhys had at the time, so his sponsorship only affected matters such as integration, location and the such. You, however... I take it you've made your choice."

I nodded. "I want to fight. I'm aspiring for the rank of Knight."

"And this is where I come in," Danse explained. "You're new to the Brotherhood, you're new to the Commonwealth, so it's only natural some things may seem confusing to you. I'll act as your guide/mentor/supervisor/carer. Anything goes wrong, you go see me. You get injured, you report to me. You want to go into battle, you take me with you. Any questions about this arrangement?"

I narrowed my brows.

"Sounds like some very strict supervision," I noticed. I really wanted to make my own independent name out here. "I'm not sure I like being watched that closely."

"You'll just have to get used to it," he replied. "And don't worry, I'll try not to be too invasive. I do have respect for your privacy, soldier."

Cade walked back into the room, carrying three pairs of thin-rimmed eyeglasses.

"I'm sorry we can't manufacture anything specifically for you, but these conditions aren't the best for the development of medicine. You'll just have to take whatever fits best."

Danse leaned against the wall and watched me try out all three, an unimpressed expression firm on his face.

"How is it?" Knight-Captain Cade asked after I had chosen.

"Much better," I admitted. I hadn't realized how blurred my sight was until I put the glasses on. "Thank you, sir."

I returned to the barracks without much on my mind. I threw my leather jacket onto my bed and undid the zipper of my orange jumpsuit on my neck.

Had wearing eyeglasses always been this uncomfortable? I kept on wrinkling my nose to fight the unpleasant feeling.

I messed around with my Pip-Boy for a moment. I still had some time to spare today. The attack was planned for tomorrow... I supposed I could go and socialize with some of the people here, but I wasn't completely comfortable with them yet. What if they wouldn't accept me?

I stood up with a sigh.

"Orders are orders," I murmured. And the Elder had ordered me to get to know my teammates.

I noticed my reflection in a dirty mirror which stood by the wall. Eyeglasses, short hair, Brotherhood of Steel uniform... I looked at that new version of me for just a fraction of a second and suddenly, I realized why it _wouldn't_ be hard for me to be accepted by the Brotherhood of Steel.

I was one of them.

 **Level up.**  
 **New perk: Likeable - never too many friends! Y** **our personal charm works on people around you, causing strangers to immediately take a liking to you. This affects bartering prices, if the person is a vendor.**


	13. Call To Arms

**Chapter Twelve  
Call To Arms**

* * *

I stared at the brownish-yellow mush on my plate without any intention of eating it. I didn't know what that was and I didn't want to know. I was relieved that the Brotherhood provided its soldiers with food, but it wasn't appealing in any way other than that it was free.

"If you don't look closely and ignore the smell, it's not _that_ bad."

I looked up, surprised at the voice.

"Paladin, sir." I bowed my head at Paladin Brandis. This was a rather casual setting, so I didn't necessarily need to salute, but I still had to acknowledge that he was a senior officer. Of course, it was still nice to see a familiar face among all those strangers. "It's good to see you're back in the game, sir."

He was wearing a grey officer's uniform, so I assumed he was back in active duty.

"Not exactly just yet," he said, looking away. "Would you mind if I sit here?"

The mess hall wasn't very spacious, but somehow I had managed to find an empty table. Technically, I should sit with my teammates, but I didn't feel comfortable around them yet.

"By all means, sir."

He took the place.

"Thank you, Initiate..." He looked around. "There are so many young people in the Brotherhood now. I don't even know most of these soldiers."

"Do you think they're not ready to fight?" I asked, glad to ignore my food.

"It's not like that. I'm just worried about them... Too young if you ask me. _You_ 're too young, not to mention some of those Scribes and Knights." Brandis shook his head. "But this is no moment for chatting, you have an important mission coming."

I didn't exactly _need_ a reminder of that. I had butterflies in my stomach already.

"I just wanted to thank you, soldier. For settling me back on the right path, convincing me to return to the Brotherhood."

"No. You don't have to thank me, sir. It was still your decision," I said with a laugh.

"Still, I felt like you deserve some kind of thanks from me, but damned Scribes took everything, so..." He carefully set a knife on the table. At this point I had long given up on eating, so I took it into my hands. "It's not anything special, just an ordinary combat knife. But it saved my life on countless occasions during those last three years." He smiled. "I think you should have it. Because you saved my life too."

"I really didn't." His life hadn't been in danger in the first place. "But... I'll take it."

Because I didn't own a single melee weapon _and_ because it was a gift.

"Nora! Still eating your breakfast?!"

I glanced up at my commanding officer, Paladin Cannote. He looked more or less angry. Then, I glanced at the mush on my plate. It didn't look very appealing.

"No, sir. I'm already finished with this," I said calmly. I stood up, taking the tray of untouched food with me. I looked at Paladin Brandis. "Thank you, Paladin."

He nodded at me. "Good luck, both of you."

We continued to walk in silence as I followed Paladin Cannote down the many halls of the Prydwen.

"Sir?" I dared to ask quietly.

"We're supposed to take off in half an hour. Are you ready, soldier?" He stopped to get a better look at me. "You don't _look_ ready."

"I can be ready," I said. "You just need to give me five minutes to get my kit, sir."

"Then get to it," he ordered. "Now!"

I nodded, quickly ran for the barracks and grabbed my new assault rifle, immediately swinging it over my shoulder, my combat armor chest piece and the leather pads I used to protect my knees and shoulders. _Maybe it's not power armor, but it'll do._

I checked in with the rest of the squad not much more than a few minutes later.

Paladin Cannote was now checking the hydraulics of his power armor. Knight Sharon was giving Ryder a soft kiss when Paladin Danse walked into the room. They stopped immediately.

"So you're up for it after all. For a moment there I was afraid you'd opt out," Cannote smiled, shaking the hands with the other officer.

"I'll mostly be there to watch," Paladin Danse tilted his head. "But to be honest, I haven't been in action for so long that I can't say I'll be able to resist myself _not_ to fight."

"The same goes for me," Paladin Cannote laughed. "But let's just leave the easiest targets for the kids."

"Kids?" Danse massaged the back of his neck. "They're my age."

 _"You_ , my friend, are too young," Cannote stated with a laugh.

"Aren't I," Paladin Danse muttered. He looked straight at me and suddenly I felt he knew I was eavesdropping. "Nora."

Oh my God. I was _so_ in for it.

"Yes, sir?"

I cringed, but all he did was zip up my jumpsuit all the way up my neck.

"Follow orders and don't get killed," he said simply before patting me on the shoulder and walking away to his suit of power armor.

"Man, I wish _I_ had had someone like that back when I joined the Brotherhood," Knight Ryder complained aloud.

"You're talking to me?" I arched an eyebrow at him, stopping halfway through putting on my combat armor.

Ryder was so far the nicest person I had met in the Brotherhood of Steel. I had tried to make friends with the other members of my squad - Knight Sharon (who just happened to be Ryder's girlfriend), Paladin Cannote and Knight Hardy - but I instantly clicked with Ryder. He had a good sense of humor and didn't mind explaining stuff to me - two things that I valued very much.

I had to admit that I was somewhat stressed before the mission. I was glad I hadn't eaten the breakfast after all because my stomach was doing backflips so abruptly that I was afraid I might have thrown it all up.

"Well, yeah. I mean, it's pretty surprising how much Paladin Danse did for you."

"What do you mean?" I laughed. "He mostly walks around being angry at me."

It was true. While there were six of us on the team, somehow Paladin Danse made it clear that the only one who was making mistakes was always _me_. I was contemplating whether he was trying to compensate for the way I had made fun of his fear of heights or if he just hated me.

I was actually more inclined to believe in the latter.

"I hope you're not serious." Ryder shot me an askew look. "I mean, he pretty much put his whole career on the line for you. That's... pretty rare. Like I said, only wish I had had someone like that."

"He did what?" I blinked. "I don't get it."

"Oh, come on," he laughed. "You're not making it this fast up the ranks only because you have a pretty face and some skill."

I looked at the Paladin, surprised. Why would he do that for me? Why would _anyone_ do that for me?

"I don't get why people are being so nice..."

I had already seen that the Commonwealth was a cruel, unforgiving place. People were (often literally) at each other's throats. And yet, I somehow managed to make myself... Maybe not _friends_ , but _allies_. How?

Why would Piper let a complete stranger stay at her home for so long? Why would she give me all those supplies for free? Why would Nick Valentine put aside everything else he was working on just to help me out? Why would Paladin Danse put so much on the line without even knowing if he could trust me?

Why were all those people doing that for me?

"Ready to march out?!" Paladin Cannote called out and we both stood to attention simultaneously.

"Sir, yes, sir!"

We weren't ready to march out. _I_ wasn't ready to march out.

"Hey. Nora, you alright?" Ryder grabbed my arm. I nodded.

"Yeah," I said. My voice was lower than usual. "Yeah, I'm... I'm alright."

It wasn't like this was anything new to me, was it? I had spent the last two weeks almost constantly fighting for my life. And now I had actual, professional backup with me. What could possibly go wrong this time around? There were six of us, not just me. Besides, Paladin Danse, Paladin Cannote and Knight Sharon had power armor - and if _that_ wasn't enough to go on, I didn't know what would be.

We were ushered to two vertibirds which would take us to the fort. From then on, we could only count on ourselves.

I had been packed into one helicopter with Paladin Cannote, Knight Sharon and Knight Ryder, two of the latter deciding to share those last moment before the fight as happily as they could. I had never viewed power armor as something that could be good for _hugging_ , but the way the two of them cuddled was so heartwarming that I found myself smiling despite all the bad things that had happened.

Life and love go on, in the most beautiful form it could. Tall, mahogany-skinned Sharon, aspiring for a Knight-Sergeant rank and the thin, good-hearted Ryder. Opposites attract, apparently.

I had asked Ryder if the Brotherhood was alright with romance among the soldiers, but all he had said was "It's not like she's a Star Paladin." Apparently, it was fine as long as it wasn't an affair. I _probably_ couldn't chat up any of those handsome Paladins and Star Paladins, then. _Definitely_ not Elder Maxson.

"Prepare for jumpoff," Paladin Cannote said, which brought me back to reality.

Sharon moved away from her boyfriend, concealing her face with the power armor helmet. Ryder looked at me.

"Yes, sir!" We said in unison.

Then, we jumped out of the vertibird.

It wasn't high - ten feet above the ground or so. But the pilot turned tail and flew away so quickly that it felt that we were completely on our own.

"The rest of the squad were supposed to be dropped off several meters west from here," Paladin Cannote explained. "We should join up with them before we engage in any combat."

I glanced at my Pip-Boy, which I already knew to have a built-in compass.

"West is that way." I pointed with a finger. The Paladin just nodded.

"Let's go, then. And keep your guard up - remember, we're on enemy territory."

There was one super mutant on our way, but Paladin Cannote killed it with just one, precise headshot. I had to admit that I was impressed by the level of skill that required, considering the standard Brotherhood laser rifle wasn't a sniping weapon.

I hadn't taken mine - Righteous Authority - for this mission. First of all, because the only energy weapon I had ever fired was my small laser pistol. Second of all, because shooting those two-handed guns was still a bit hard for me. I had packed Kellogg's revolver, my laser pistol and my new AK-84, but I was kind of hoping I wouldn't have to use the latter.

We joined up with Paladin Danse and Knight Hardy without much trouble and both officers decided to just storm the fort right away. It didn't go very bad until we actually got to the building.

That was when all hell broke loose.

There were many, many more super mutants here than I had _ever_ seen in one place. Even Trinity Tower seemed like a playground in comparison. An old square, now filled with only ruins of old buildings, became a battlefield. That kind of urban area was good for a shooting. We could use the ruins to take cover. Unfortunately, so could the super mutants.

It was just bloodshed, to be honest. I got hit in my chest three times - if I hadn't been wearing my armor, I would have died from the first bullet. Knight Hardy was seriously injured - I could see him injecting a Stimpak into his shoulder with a pained expression.

Maybe I was no expert at this, but it seemed to me like we were winning.

Paladin Danse and Knight Sharon had decided to use the ditch by the road as cover and turn this whole battle into trench warfare, but I didn't feel that despaired just yet. We were winning.

I quickly reloaded Kellogg's revolver. The little gun was surprisingly powerful for its size, but it had two big flaws: one, it was very loud and two, I had to reload it very often. Still, I liked it. I had already killed four super mutants with it during the last five minutes.

It really wasn't going that bad. Until the ground shook so hard that I almost lost my balance. I felt cold sweat on my back. I didn't know what that had been, but it sounded like trouble.

"Damn, a behemoth!" Knight Hardy exclaimed. "Take cover!"

Paladin Cannote pulled me to the ground almost immediately. I spat out some leaves.

"Thank you, sir," I said, shocked. I would have died if it weren't for him. I had just barely evaded death.

"Don't _talk_ , just shoot!"

We were now all crouched in the trenches. I tried my best to ignore the constant swarm of bullets over my head and tried to aim.

"What the hell is that thing?!" I exclaimed, staring ahead.

This one was much larger than a usual super mutant - it was the size of a small house, actually. It looked strong, dangerous, vicious... and _angry_.

"That's a behemoth!" Ryder explained, nervously reloading his laser rifle. "They're the worst."

I didn't know what to do. On the one hand, the other super mutants had retreated to inside the fort, so we only had one target to eliminate now, but on the other, that one target was huge. I stood in place, indecisive, aiming my gun at the super mutant but not ready to fire.

The thing that made me finally decide were Paladin Cannote and Knight Sharon, who started shooting at the behemoth from their place several meters away from us. The monster immediately turned its attention on them and it was clear they wouldn't survive very long without help.

To me though, the situation was pretty much something of an opportunity. I grabbed the knife Brandis had given me and launched myself forward, at the creature.

"Nora!" Paladin Danse exclaimed from back at the trenches. "Stop this instant!"

I ignored him.

"That's an order!"

Except there was no time for orders! There was time for _action_ , and if they all refused to act, I would do it.

Using the distraction Paladin Cannote and Knight Sharon were, I jumped onto the large mutant's back. Before it realized what was going on, I was already on its shoulders. It was hard to hold on now that it was trying to shake me off of itself, but I only gripped the knife more tightly. The other soldiers stopped shooting, probably afraid they would hit me.

The super mutant tried to flick me off with its arms now, so it seemed like the best moment to somehow boost my confidence.

I gathered all my strength, jumped forward and with a desperate "Ad victoriam!" buried the knife deep inside the creature's brain.

Something like that was bound to kill.

My eyes widened when I realized what that meant for me, but it was too late to act as the super mutant collapsed and I went falling. I gritted my teeth, keeping my scream inside.

I landed on the ground without much grace, rolling over to avoid breaking any bones. I coughed as a cloud of dust rose from the ground around me.

That was the moment I noticed the way they were looking at me: Knight Ryder with fear, Paladin Cannote with admiration, Paladin Danse with rage.

I slowly rose from the ground, shaking the dust off my uniform. It wasn't bright orange anymore, but I couldn't care about that.

"Did you see that...?" Ryder whispered.

"I wouldn't have believed if I haven't seen it with my own eyes..."

I strengthened my back, grabbing my laser rifle in both hands. There was some sublime feeling in that moment.

"You'll be the first person to take on a Behemoth on their own... And come out on top," Cannote said eventually. "Amazing... Isn't that right, Danse?"

"Yes," the other officer replied slowly. "Very much so."

He was looking at me in a way that made me want to crawl away in fear.

As soon as Cannote ordered us to move out towards the bunker, Paladin Danse pulled me aside.

"I have one simple question I'd like you to answer: do you have a death wish?!" He exclaimed, somehow managing to keep it in a whisper. "I'm asking seriously, do you? Not only did you ignore direct orders, you endangered the lives of other soldiers! And your own, for that matter." Something in his eyes softened. "You're not even giving me a _chance_ to save you if something goes wrong!"

"I don't _need_ saving," I whispered back. I motioned to everything around us. "Look, I did great!"

"You did... Yes. Congratulations." He leaned in to me, our faces just inches apart. "But the next time you feel like gambling with your life, at least make sure you let me know. Is that understood?"

He. Was. Intimidating.

"Transparently, sir," I managed to choke out. He let go of me.

"Good. That's good."

Paladin Cannote looked at us with expectation.

"We're going in through the main entrance?" He asked - it was clearly directed to Paladin Danse. The fact remained that they were in charge. Both.

"I'd planned something more of a pincer attack, but that was before I had the chance to see this location from up close. I doubt there are many other entrances." Paladin Danse tilted his head. "The super mutants have already hidden inside, so we should expect heavy resistance once we're in."

"A simple, old-fashioned frontal attack will have to do," Paladin Cannote summed up. "Just what I had in mind."

Hardy and Ryder kicked the door open and I braced myself for heavy assault. Instead, we were met with silence.

"What the..." Cannote muttered, staring at the empty hall of the fort. If that wasn't suspicious, I didn't know what was.

Paladin Danse nodded his head to indicate we should move inside. The first one to carefully step into the room was Sharon. She looked back at us, probably to say that it was alright and safe.

Now that I think about it, I can't believe that I couldn't see her face - but it was covered by the helmet of her armor.

I couldn't see her expression when she took another step and suddenly, an explosion tore her apart, filling the air with heat and flames.

The shockwave threw me a few good meters back and I landed hard on my back, for a moment unable to breathe. There was a ringing in my ears and I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't hear the scream that Ryder let out as Paladin Cannote pulled him away from the explosion. But I could see the grimace of pain that twisted his face as tears streamed from his eyes. He was screaming, even if I couldn't hear it.

I stared numbly at where Sharon had just been standing. She was gone, just like that. She wouldn't laugh or smile again, she wouldn't get that promotion she had wanted.

Someone grabbed me by the shoulders and asked something. My hearing was slowly returning, but I still felt too overwhelmed to react to my surroundings.

"Nora!" Paladin Danse repeated, this time louder than before. I blinked, then slowly looked at him.

"Reporting for duty, sir..." I said weakly. I wanted to throw up. "I'm still alive... Somehow."

"I can see that you are. Now pull yourself together, soldier!" He pushed something into my hands - the revolver I had dropped. "Or else you won't _stay_ alive for long!"

I grabbed my laser pistol and looked up at him. The metal helmet didn't show any emotion, so I had no idea what the man's expression was.

I looked around quickly. Paladin Cannote was trying to get Ryder to calm down, but the soldier was a mess. I didn't blame him, but I would have expected him to know the risks that came with that kind of life.

But then again, _I_ didn't have anyone I loved. Not anymore.

So how could I even try to understand?

oooOOO***OOOooo

I flinched when the body of a super mutant fell under my feet, its brains all blown out.

"Area clear, sir," Knight Hardy reported.

Paladin Danse looked around.

"There are still hostiles upstairs," he said coldly. "Hardy, secure the ammunition stash from his floor. Nora, with me."

Our six-person squad got a bit destroyed after Sharon's death. Ryder had an emotional breakdown and Paladin Cannote had to escort him to safety, so only three of us remained in action.

We had already secured the ground floor without casualties - the way I saw it, a small group like that worked better, but who I was to judge?

"I was just wondering... What are those things?"

"Super mutants?" Hardy asked. "You don't know?"

"I know they're not _natural_ , and that they first appeared a hundred and fifty years ago. They've mutated from something, apparently."

Hardy looked down.

"Nora, super mutants used to be _humans,"_ he explained slowly. "That's what happens when you inject a person with the Forced Evolutionary Virus. They lose all their humanity. That's what our species would have evolved into. Mindless monsters."

I stared ahead, unable to make a sound.

So _that_ was what Nick and Piper hadn't wanted to tell me.

"That's not... They used to be _people?"_

"Just another thing where humanity had gone wrong. They have to be exterminated. By all means."

"Nora!" Paladin Danse called angrily from the other room. I winced and joined up with him quickly.

"You're working on a bad image in my eyes. When you get an order, you're supposed to _follow_ it." He tapped his armor-clad foot on the floor. "This is neither the time nor place for chatting."

"Yes, sir. I understand."

Instead of answering, he just kicked the door open and immediately began shooting. There were three super mutants in the room, but not for long. I didn't even have to open fire. The way Paladin Danse killed them - so ruthlessly, in a cold and calculated way... It almost scared me, actually. He hadn't been like that with raiders or synths. Oh no. _This_ looked almost like some kind of personal vendetta.

I would know, after all.

"Permission to speak freely, sir?" I spoke up hesitantly.

He looked around. "Area clear... Yes, you may."

"You seem to hate those super mutants fairly much."

Paladin Danse began searching through the cabinets and for a second I was afraid he would just ignore me.

"They're an abuse of science and a proof that mankind had gone wrong. It's rather obvious that I would 'hate' them."

"That's it?" I didn't really mean to say it aloud.

"They're responsible for the death of a close friend. I don't exactly know how to find mercy for those monsters." He shut the cabinet a bit too loudly. "So maybe I'm in the wrong. A good man should never fall prey to his own emotions or let them control him, even in wanting to avenge those he held dear."

I looked down. I wasn't a good person either, then.

"They were human once, though," I noticed aloud. "Super mutants. They used to be people."

Paladin Danse took off his helmet and looked at me seriously.

"And what are you getting at? Are you trying to say we should have mercy upon those abominations?"

"Not at all," I replied, surprised. "My question was somewhere more along the lines of 'how could science have gone so wrong?'. I just... It's hard for me to believe that a _person_ could be turned into something that vicious."

"Super mutants were created to replace humans. Though thankfully that didn't happen, they still consider themselves a superior race." His eyes hardened. "They almost made us go extinct, Nora. Maybe I'm being overly cautious-" _he meant to say 'paranoid,' didn't he?_ "-but I think that we should look at the super mutants when we talk about the threat of the Institute. Their synths are already three-thinking, sentient machines. How long before _they_ decide they don't need us around anymore?"

"History does like to repeat itself," I agreed. "But I don't think the Institute has gone _that_ far yet."

"What if they have? I-" Paladin Danse blinked, then shook his head. "No... You may ignore me, soldier. I haven't been feeling well lately, I'm getting sidetracked. Just forget this conversation ever happened."

Hardy walked into the room.

"Area secure," he reported. "The weaponry stash is real and seemingly untouched, sir. Shall I send out a signal?"

"No, I'll manage." The Paladin looked at us sadly. "You two may leave now. I'll send for a vertibird to pick you up. You did very well, both of you. Although, Nora, you could have pushed yourself a bit more. Just a suggestion."

He _had_ to, didn't he? That man hated me. He just did. What had I ever done to him?!

I stormed out of the building, angry at everything. Sharon dies and all he does is diss me? What kind of person does that?

"Hey, Nora..." Hardy touched my hand hesitantly. I flinched at the temperature of his body - he had a fever. " _I_ don't think you'd have to push yourself harder. That action with the behemoth was pretty impressive."

I looked at him, surprised.

"Thanks," I said quietly.

I didn't say anything more until two vertibirds arrived, one to take the three of us - me, Hardy and Ryder - back to the Prydwen, and another which brought several soldiers who would later work with Paladin Cannote and Paladin Danse on securing the whole area. I was guessing the whole supply base would become a military outpost again - like its purpose had always been.

Elder Maxson was more than content with the results of the whole mission. He called me in to congratulate me one-on-one, actually, and that was supposedly rare.

"I couldn't have done it better myself, Initiate. The mission was a complete success."

"Knight Sharon died." I had to point it out.

"Yes, I've been informed... Quite a loss, she would have been a good officer."

"No offense, sir, but... You still think it was a successful mission?"

"I understand why you would be shaken up by her death, but this is a small casualty for such a victory. May I remind you that Paladin Danse had lost three men in this location before? You being there, statistically, saved two lives. Is that enough for you to feel better?"

It wasn't.

"Yes, sir. It is."

"Then don't look so beat up. Taking out a super mutant behemoth all on your own is something to be proud of. Why, when _I_ was just a Knight, I..." He absently touched the scar on his face. "Never mind. I just wanted to say you have every right to join the Brotherhood of Steel now. Your training starts tomorrow, Initiate."

Training? Wow, he had taken my words seriously. I wasn't sure how to feel about that.

"Thank you, sir."

"Three days, soldier." Elder Maxson gave me an askew look. "You have three days of training before I send you into the field again. You can learn from experience _then_ \- that is the best teacher."

"Fair enough."

The next three days were both extremely dull and extremely exciting. They were exciting because I was learning new things - it was like being back in school. They were dull because all the things I was learning were just theory and no practice at all. But I understood that - just three days wasn't much to go on.

The military routine wasn't easy to adjust to, either - especially after weeks of no routine at all.

Wake up at some ungodly early hour, morning workout, breakfast. That was the first part of the day. Then basic technology with Proctor Ingram and lunch/dinner. After that, weapon specifics with Paladin Danse. Some more physical training and basic military orientation with Proctor Taegan. That last one was actually _useful_ at the moment - turned out, for instance, that Proctor was the non-military personnel equivalent of Paladin.

Also, the ranks from Knight to Paladin were much like the ones back in my time - Corporal, Sergeant, Lieutenant, Captain... Then, there was something called a Knight-Commander and from up there went really important officers: Paladin, Paladin-Commander, Star Paladin, Sentinel... It was a lot of new info, but it wasn't that hard to wrap my head around. Not until we got to the other two ranking systems - because there were _three_. Intelligence workers were Scribes, Senior Scribes, Chief Scribes, and Proctors. As an Initiate, you decided whether you wanted to become a Knight, Scribe or Lancer and it went differently from then on. (There was an air force in the Brotherhood of Steel, but that was something _completely_ out of my area of expertise.)

Three days to feed me the amount of information other people receive through months of training? I wasn't so stupid as not to see this _wasn't_ the normal treatment for new recruits. Elder Maxson was training me for some kind of special ops fighter.

I would be happy to say that after those three days, I was ready for anything. But in reality, I wasn't any more ready than I had been before.

But I was so fed up with this whole sitting around while the Institute was still at large that I didn't mind at all when I was summoned by the Elder for debriefing. After that, I would be finally dispatched for duty.

"I've read the full reports from the Fort Strong operation," Maxson greeted me, as always straight to the point. "And it seems I haven't given you enough credit still."

"Thank you, sir?"

"No, thank _you_. You deserve a reward for all that you've done." He cleared his throat. "You've just been promoted. Congratulations, Knight." He eyed me carefully. "Paladin Cannote and Paladin Danse were awestruck by your performance, so I suppose you've earned both this promotion _and_ the new assignment. You can meet up with your partner after the debriefing."

"Partner?" I repeated, not quite believing my ears. "I've received a partnership assignment?"

"I believe you are a special case... Assigning you to a usual team might actually be harmful to our cause - I think you may work better if given a bit more space. Am I not right, Knight?" He raised an eyebrow at me. "But yes, it is quite rare for a soldier with a rank below Knight-Captain to get a partnership assignment." He gave me a serious look. " _Don't_ waste this opportunity."

"I won't, sir."

"I certainly hope so." Maxson waved a hand. "You are dismissed."

I saluted - this time properly - and backed out of the room.

My new partner was waiting for me just outside. I felt some relief when I recognized Paladin Danse, because I already knew him. But then again... _Of all the people. Of all the nice, friendly officers... I have to work with the one who doesn't like me._

"Reporting for duty, sir." I stood to attention - it just felt appropriate. "I take it you already know everything."

"I heard about your promotion, if that's what you mean." He averted my eyes, but smiled nonetheless. "To be honest, I'm proud of you. I have to admit that when I first asked for you to be placed under my sponsorship, I still had some doubts about it. I suppose I wasn't entirely sure what kind of person you are, and... that made me feel insecure. But it seems you've adapted to being part of a military force much faster than I had expected. You've earned this promotion, Knight."

"It seems you're stuck with me for good," I noticed.

"Oh, I never expected the Elder to do anything else," Paladin Danse said matter-of-factly. "I'm still responsible for you. Assigning us to the same team was the best way to keep me close to you. I'll be able to control your actions and performance much more easily - and, should any danger arise, I'll be able to intervene in time."

"Cute." I smiled. "My very own guardian angel."

" _And_ overseer," the Paladin emphasized. "If you step out of the line, I'll have to reprimand you."

"Guardian angel," I summed up. "Setting me on the right path, too."

"If that's the way you wish to call it. Oh, and..." He reached into his pocket. "I've actually got something for you. Your holotags. Knight Nora, NA-647K. Congratulations, you made it into the Brotherhood."

"This is amazing!" I reached out to get them, but Danse hesitated.

"Actually... I'd rather hold on to them for now." He clenched his fist on the dogtags.

"Why would you-?" I raised my eyebrows. "I mean... Aren't those mine?"

"And I'm your commanding officer." He pursed his lips. "In fact, I only... You see, this assignment is a rather serious matter. I wouldn't want you running on me."

"Excuse me?" I exclaimed. He winced.

"It's not like that. It's just that if you were somehow injured or God forbid killed, I'll be able to show that it was you, that you were under my responsibility, that I should respond for any harm that's come to you..."

"I get it, fine. You just don't trust me."

"You'll get those if- _when_ you get the rank of Knight-Captain. Alternatively, if I die or decide that you're more responsible than me. For now, I really don't think that."

That made me shut up because even _I_ didn't consider myself a responsible person.

"By the way," Paladin Danse added calmly, "this assignment works both ways. I look out for you, yes, but I would also be glad if you looked out for me."

I really wasn't sure if I was capable of that. I had pretty much bailed on the last people who had trusted me. _Come to think of it, maybe I should visit Piper one of these days. If I ever get a day off._

"What do we, um... do?" I asked. "The Elder mentioned some assignment."

Maybe, if I was just very, very lucky, it would be related to the Institute. In some way. Somehow.

"Yes, but it's surprisingly standard. I haven't gone on such a mundane mission for at least three years, and you were supposed to get a special assignment too. I can't understand it."

"Standard," I repeated. "That would be securing some piece of tech, am I right? And shooting up any kind of atrocities that may dwell in the assigned location."

I _had_ learned something during those last few days, then.

The outpost we were sent to was Cambridge Police Station - that was good, because I knew the place already. The bad thing was that we had to get there by foot - and that meant spending a whole day with Paladin Danse. It wasn't that I had a problem with him or anything, but... _He_ had a problem with _me._ The way he made it look, everything I did was a problem. I didn't want to workout in the morning? He made me. I wanted to set a less aggressive pace? He didn't let me. I wanted to talk to him a bit? He made me _ask for permission_ every time I did that. I wanted to listen to the radio? Not aloud, God forbid.

The worst part of it all was that if I _didn't_ obey all those stupid little rules, I would just prove him right that I wasn't able of falling in line, and I wasn't having that. So I had to obey.

The thing about Danse was that I had been very wrong about him when we first met. Because I had said that we made a great team.

Now that we had spent more time together, I wasn't so sure of that anymore.

When I had been traveling with Piper, it was all so clear. I knew what she would do or how she would react - probably because we were so like-minded, so we could predict each other's actions. But with Paladin Danse, it was different. We had to _learn_ to work together. I wasn't sure what it was, but there had been something between the two of us which disappeared after I had joined the Brotherhood. It was like some trust had been broken, which was as stupid as it was strange, to be honest. It's not like we didn't get along - it was just that I felt like he was expecting too much from me now.

When I had been just a civilian to him, Danse didn't demand perfection from me. Now, as a soldier - his subordinate, no less - I was expected _just that_. He didn't really take anything as an explanation, just said that I wasn't trying as hard as I should be. So I did try harder. I had honestly never pushed myself as hard as during those first days of our partnership. But I didn't know what he was _really_ expecting from me, not yet. So I did the only thing I could - I tried to be the best soldier I could.

We arrived at the police station late in the afternoon. The whole place was actually fortified now: a professional (though still makeshift) barricade had been built around the square, so in order to get to the building, you had to be allowed to pass by the two Knights in power armor who stood guard.

Power armor. Everyone was wearing power armor. Almost every Knight and Paladin I had met so far had been using one. It wasn't obligatory, it wasn't part of the Brotherhood's uniform - Hardy, Ryder and Rhys _didn't_ use it, for example. But I was beginning to wonder if I was making the right choice by leaving mine behind on the Prydwen. Maybe I should be using it, now that I had access to it. This mission was expected to only last a day, so maybe when we returned to the Elder with our field report, I'd pick mine up.

 _I should think about that._

The soldiers let us pass, of course, easily recognizing the uniform I was wearing and the markings on Paladin Danse's armor.

The inside of the police station hadn't changed much, except for most of the junk that had used to clutter it being taken away. But it seemed the same soldiers I had seen four days ago were still stationed there, so it had to be a permanent assignment. Among those soldiers, I easily recognized my friend, Scribe Haylen. That immediately brought a smile to my face.

That smile was gone as soon as I saw that Knight Rhys was there too, his leg still in a kind of cast, though this one less obvious. Worst of all, it seemed he was the soldier who would give me my assignment.

I decided to be nice. Maybe if I did that, he would be nice in return.

I walked up to Rhys, trying not to look too tired.

"And so our _hero_ returns," he said, not even trying to conceal the sarcasm. "So you got accepted. Huh. I wouldn't have chosen that, but commandment must be out of other options."

"I really don't have the nerves for this right now. What do I have to say that will make you trust me?" I asked, exasperated.

"There's _nothing_ you could say. Trust is earned through action _,_ not pretty words."

I rolled my eyes at that. I was really tired of having to deal with Paladin Danse and the last thing I wanted was another person who would irritate me.

"You think it's _my_ problem, don't you?" Rhys glared at me, a spark in his eyes. "You think that I just happen to hate you for no reason at all."

"Maybe you're just jealous because I get along with Haylen."

That put him off for like a second.

"I have no feelings for you except for disdain," he said eventually. "I can't believe how much you think of yourself! The whole world doesn't revolve around you, you know? You want _me_ to trust you when the question you should be asking yourself is this: has _anyone_ at all from the Brotherhood given you their _complete_ trust? Did that happen? You ignore orders. I heard about that. You're uncooperative." He snorted. "I mean, look at yourself: you can't even get along with your _partner!_ How can you expect other soldiers to trust you?"

"I came here trying to make amends. I _really_ wanted to be nice with you, but you don't even give me a chance to like you."

Rhys shrugged.

"You don't have to like me. All you need is to tolerate me so I can give you your assignment. Nothing more, nothing less."

"I can do _that_ ," I said through gritted teeth.

"And don't pretend I haven't seen the way you look at Haylen. You stay the hell _away_ from her, got it? I'm not having her mixed up in any of that shit you're involved in."

"What are you trying to say?" I asked. It wasn't the first time he was aggressive, but he only got this defensive when Scribe Haylen was mentioned. _Interesting_.

"If anything happens to her and you're involved, I _will_ find out. And I will make sure you face the consequences. No one messes with my family, Knight. If you want to be a part of that family, you have to prove you're worthy."

 _Charming, isn't he?_ I thought bitterly.

"Just give me the assignment and maybe I'll be able to actually _begin_ working on that trust of yours."

Rhys pushed a clipboard into my hands.

"Fine. Everything you need to know is on here. If you know how to read, of course. Because I recall you had a problem with that earlier."

I didn't say anything, just huffed angrily and walked away with the placement of orders in my hands. It wasn't very hard to decipher: some kind of map and several notes made on a piece of paper.

"Could I take a look?"

I looked up to see Haylen and immediately smiled.

"Of course." I handed her the clipboard and everything. "So you're still here?"

"Oh yeah. Haven't actually been on the Prydwen just yet, stupid as it sounds. But Rhys has. They took him to medical and got him a better dressing." She didn't really focus on the conversation, just the things I had given her. She looked up at me. "Okay, this is just your simple cleanup mission. Strange, I thought you were supposed to be in a special ops squad."

"I got a partnership assignment," I said. "That's... special?"

"Yes. Two-person teams are usually dispatched for special assignments, not something like this." She took another look at the page. "And who were you paired with?"

"Paladin Danse," I answered.

"Good. Good choice. I thought you would." Haylen barely paid any attention to our conversation. I smiled - she was very dedicated to her work. With her whole of roughly five feet three inches of height and her hair pulled up in a messy bun, I could see why even Knight Rhys liked her the way he did. I couldn't help but like her too. She was just _cute_. "Alright, I've found the place. It's not very far, really. If you hurry, you can go there now and return before sunset."

"That's good," I said. "You've made me all curious as to why I was given this mission, so getting to it seems like the good choice."

"I think you meant to say ' _we_ were given this mission', Knight." Paladin Danse walked up to us and crossed his arms. He wasn't wearing his power armor now, but that didn't make him look any more friendly. "We are a _team_ , and you're not even in charge of it. I would tread carefully with the 'I' statements if I were you."

"Yes, sir," I sighed. "Of course."

"And Haylen," he added, "if you would be as nice as to mark that location on Nora's Pip-Boy, we wouldn't have to take a physical map with us."

"Yes, sir," she said in a high-pitched voice. "Right away!"

"Good." He smiled at her. "Thank you, Haylen."

She blushed deeply and stared at her feet. I smiled and didn't stop grinning even as the Paladin walked away.

"Could you be any more obvious?" I laughed.

Haylen looked at me with wide eyes.

"What?" She tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, come on, I was there when you talked to Paladin Danse, you were blushing like a schoolgirl. You are _so_ in love with him!"

Haylen played with a strand of her ginger hair nervously.

"It's just a stupid crush, okay?" She mumbled.

"I knew it!" I squeed, excited. "I knew!"

"Quieter, Nora." She was completely red. "And it's not that... It's really just a crush. I'm completely pathetic. It's just that... He saved my life and ever since then I've been just... I mean, I had always looked up to Danse because he was my commanding officer and my superior and all that, but for the first time I looked at him like at a _man_ and..." She laughed gently. "I can't help it. I just have those feelings. He's certainly something."

 _Yes. An asshole._

"He is, isn't he," I joined her in laughter.

"What is it?" Haylen asked when I frowned.

"Nothing, I just... It's like high school. Talking about boys, you know. I haven't done that for a long time."

 _"Boys_ ," she repeated, amused. "Well, that's a way I _don't_ think about them, but maybe you're right." She put an arm around me. "Hey, um, Nora... It's nice to have someone like you to talk to."

I smiled at her. "The feeling's mutual."

And for once, I was being completely honest.

oooOOO***OOOooo

"Ferals or muties?" I asked aloud. "Take your best guess."

"I'm not playing this game, Knight."

I snickered, yet again glancing at the map on my Pip-Boy. We were very close now. Haylen had been right and getting to that location had required only half an hour's march. For the time being, I amused myself with trying to find out whether Paladin Danse had an active sense of humor. So far it didn't seem so, but I wasn't about to give up that easily.

"Okay, but do you know this one: a man walks into a bar with a-"

"Shh." He raised his arm and I immediately stopped everything I was saying or doing. I had been taught the most basic signs during my training, and that one meant to halt.

I slowly unholstered Kellogg's revolver, sensing that a fight was coming up. I yet again regretted not having taken my power armor. Uncomfortable as it was, it _was_ the peak of battle technology.

"Hostiles inbound, sir?" I tried, seeing that he wouldn't say anything on his own.

Paladin Danse looked at me. I didn't know what his expression was due to the helmet he was wearing, but his voice sounded almost amused when he spoke.

"I think my guess will be ferals."

 _Oh! So he did!_ I found myself pleasantly surprised.

"Shall we be underway, then?" I asked, trying very hard to forget how ghouls affected me. I wasn't afraid. I wasn't afraid. _Damn it._ I wasn't!

"Nora. You're not giving out orders here," he scolded.

"Of course. Sorry. What are your orders, sir?"

"I'll try to fight off most of the ghouls in the perimeter while you enter the building and secure the piece of technology we're supposed to salvage. What you're looking for is a circuit board - a flat object the size of a plank. Be ready for encountering hostiles on your way. In case you think your safety is heavily compromised..." He looked around pointlessly. I knew he had some sort of shortwave radio, but I didn't. He didn't have a Pip-Boy like mine. "I suppose you'll have to... I... Well, just shout."

"Yes, sir!" I nodded.

"Now get to it."

I ran from our hiding spot to the side of the barrack we were supposed to be attacking. The whole place was swarming with feral ghouls, which made me very nervous. I imagined two hundred years ago, those people were just working in that depot, doing their job... And suddenly, the bomb hit, and nuclear radiation transformed them into mindless zombies. I wasn't sure whether it was sad or terrifying.

So maybe by killing them, we were doing them a favor.

I waited until I could hear the characteristic sound of a laser rifle being fired, and only then I dared to look over the corner. Lured by the noise, the ghouls were quickly leaving the area around me. I just hoped Paladin Danse wouldn't have trouble fighting them off - there really were many.

 _Don't think about it now. Focus on your part of the mission, Nora._

Most of the ghouls were gone - this was my cue to act. After a second's hesitation, I exchanged Kellogg's revolver for my automatic laser pistol. For all the things the revolver was, it certainly wasn't _discreet_. It was easily one of the loudest weapons I had ever fired, and _that_ wouldn't come in handy now.

I pushed the door, but it wouldn't budge. I tried again, still with no result. Locked. My lockpicking set was on the bottom of my backpack... Which I had left at the police station.

I just kicked the door open. The rusty metal lock easily gave in even to my feeble strength.

"And I thought it only works in movies," I muttered to myself.

The barrack was mostly empty, save for four ghouls. I gulped and pressed myself against the wall. I had to work this out nicely. If I started shooting them now, they wouldn't waste time on using any weapons... Because they didn't use any weapons other than their teeth and hands. If I managed to hit home every time I shot, I would make it, no sweat. But if I didn't, I would be in serious trouble.

I shook my head. There was a time and place for overthinking, and my first field mission was not it. I had to prove myself - to Elder Maxson, to Paladin Danse... Most of all, to myself.

I took in a deep breath and aimed at the nearest ghoul. I shot - and missed, hitting a metal shelf instead. All four of them immediately looked in that direction. _Oh!_ And now they had their backs to me!

I shot again, and this time managed to hit one of them. It disintegrated into a pile of ash and I suddenly remembered why I was so afraid of energy weapons. You can't wrap a bandage around being turned to ash. Once you shoot someone with this type of gun, they stay dead.

And that was exactly the fate those feral ghouls suffered at my hands. Was I getting better at shooting? Maybe. My hands were still trembling when I used those heavy, two-handed rifles - but I didn't _have to_ use them, did I? I was pretty much set.

"Circuit board, circuit board..." I muttered, roaming between the shelves. Most stuff was still there - that locked door and the ghouls were both indicators that no one else had broken in here for the last two hundred years. The only things that were missing were food items - not surprising, considering the ghouls had survived all that time, either.

I finally found what I was looking for, but I had no idea what to do with it. I didn't even have my backpack with me. I settled on just carrying it in my hands - the piece of circuitry wasn't a small thing, maybe half a meter long.

"Got it!" I announced once I was out of the building.

"Good," Paladin Danse nodded. "I was just beginning to wonder if you needed any help there."

"I didn't."

"Still, I think it took you a bit too long. You just _can_ do better, Nora. Next time, I'm expecting _full_ combat and logistical performance, appropriate to those abilities of yours. That's all I have to say right now." He tapped his foot on the ground. "Now let's head back to the police station."

"It wouldn't hurt you to say something nicer," I murmured, but didn't dare say it loudly. I _was_ doing my best! What else did he want from me?

And Paladin Danse wasn't the only one who had some kind of problem with me - Knight Rhys wasn't very satisfied with how long the whole thing had taken us (almost two hours, which _wasn't_ that much, the way _I_ saw it) and he made it clear that it was solely my fault that he had to wait that long.

I was almost beginning to regret joining up.

Rhys finally stopped criticizing me and decided to give it up, so he just dryly congratulated me on the success of my first field mission. Paladin Danse had officially dismissed me for the rest of the night, so I took that cue to hide in Haylen's room. She had a spare mattress in there anyway, so I figured it would be a good place to sleep, too.

"I don't know what you see in him," I said honestly. "The man hates me. And unlike Danse, he actually verbalizes that."

Haylen pursed her lips. "Just so you know, Rhys happens to be one of the most caring people I've ever met in my life. I know he may not look like it, but he's only being like that with you because he wants to protect the people he sees as his family."

"That includes you?"

"Yes. Yes, it does. But it's not just that. He's also intelligent, and funny, and he's just so understanding, and he makes me feel like..." She looked down, a red blush on her cheeks. "I really do like him. And not like Danse. This... _This_ is more. This is something really, really big, Nora."

I wondered how long she had been keeping all those emotions to herself. Being surrounded solely by men, I imagined she would have a hard time just pouring her heart out like that.

"Well, if you want me to solve this love triangle for you, I've got a very simple answer - if you're willing to accept it."

"What is it?"

"If I had to choose between those two, I would have a hard time. Of course, they're _your_ friends, I don't know them as well as you do. But... Rhys really likes you. Even I can see that."

"You think so?" Her eyes were shining.

I threw my head back with a giggle.

"Haylen, he threatened my life just because he thought you were in trouble."

She smiled. "That does sound like Rhys. Oh my God... This is so wrong."

"What's wrong about this? Somebody once told me that love is the single most beautiful thing in this world. I'm pretty much down with that opinion."

"No, but Rhys is... I mean, it shouldn't have happened." She nervously looked around the room. "He's my sponsor. I shouldn't have fallen for him, it's just... inappropriate."

"Haylen, listen to me. It's completely alright that you would feel that way." I nervously massaged the back of my neck. "I mean, I've only been in this whole sponsorship thing for a day, but... I can see that it's a very close relationship. So I think it's completely understandable that certain feelings might develop."

"You're right... You _are_ , actually. Me and Rhys do have something special. And it's never been that way with Danse. Besides," she let herself laugh, "he's a bit... out of my league, anyway."

"You're kidding, right? You're smart, good-looking and cute, I don't imagine you _wouldn't_ be _any_ guy's type! What's this talk that anyone would be out of your league?"

"Okay, let me say it differently: he's a Paladin, I'm just a Scribe. Relationships between officers and their subordinates are frowned upon by the Brotherhood."

I raised my eyebrows. "Seriously? Wow, and I thought the caste system had been gone for hundreds of years. _What_ does it _matter?_ If you like the guy, you shouldn't care about his social status!"

"Social status? You're getting the wrong impression, Nora. An affair between, say, a Star Paladin and a Knight, would be edging on the line of corruption. It's never easy to tell what a person's motives might be. And seducing an officer to get a promotion, just so you know, is one of the biggest crimes in the Codex. Punishable almost the same way as treason."

"Whoa." I whistled, amused. That sounded just about ridiculous to me. "And what's the punishment?"

"Exile."

"Figures." I yawned - and immediately covered my mouth. "Well, I think it's high time we called it a day. My body needs its rest too." I smiled at her. "But it's been great talking."

Because it had been one of the very few casual conversations I had had since leaving the Vault. Almost everyone else only wanted to talk about the heavy subjects here...

 _Gosh, I miss Piper._

With that thought on my mind, I loosened the collar of my uniform and lay down to sleep.

 **Level up.**

 **New rank: Brotherhood of Steel Knight - the Brotherhood of Steel accepted you as a full member. Power armor core explosions are now smaller, and cantc hurt you.**

 **New perk: Gunslinger(2) - your shots with one-handed guns are now even more precise.**


	14. Building A Foundation

**Chapter Thirteen  
Building A Foundation**

* * *

"I'm _so_ sorry for leaving you here," I said, affectionately scratching Dogmeat's chin. He whimpered happily and cuddled to me. (I noticed someone had given him a bath.) I stood up and dusted my uniform. "I hope he wasn't too much of a hassle to deal with," I said aloud.

"Who, Dogmeat?" Proctor Taegan laughed good-heartedly. "Why, he's practically a member of the Brotherhood by now!" He looked at me. "I must tell you, having an actual, tame dog here did wonders for everyone's morale. We've been taking shifts taking care of him. That's a great animal you've got there, Knight."

"Don't I know it," I sighed. "Either way, thanks for taking care of him for me." I tilted my head. "I thought someone else had a pet?"

"You mean Proctor Quinlan's _cat_ , Emmet." The way he said the word 'cat' told me all I needed to know. "So you'll be taking him with you?"

"I'm just on my way to get my new assignment. I don't know _what_ it will be exactly, but I'm hoping for a field mission, so yes. I'm taking Dogmeat with me."

"Oh well." Taegan shook his head. "And here we were all getting used to having him around. Anyways, good luck with the Elder."

I had only been on the Prydwen for maybe half an hour and yet I already knew I was taking too much time with reporting to the Elder. He wouldn't take kindly to having to wait that long. I was just hoping whatever he had been hoping to achieve with assigning me - _us_ \- with that simple cleanup mission before was worth the hassle. After all, we had kind of lost a whole day on that assignment.

I hesitantly knocked on the door to the bridge.

"In," Elder Maxson's gruff voice called out from inside.

I entered the room and stopped to salute.

"Knight Nora, reporting as requested, sir!" I announced myself.

"At ease, soldier." He waved a hand dismissively. "This isn't an entirely official meeting, either way."

I let my muscles relax, seeing that I didn't need to stand to attention all the time. I closed the door behind me after I made sure Dogmeat could get inside.

I looked around the room quickly, trying to be as discreet as I could. Aside from the Elder, Proctor Ingram and Paladin Danse were present too. So something was up. I bit my lip, unsure how to act, but Ingram just gave me a reassuring smile. I inhaled deeply.

"I'm sure you have some questions, Knight." Maxson offered me to sit on the sofa, but I politely declined. Ingram couldn't sit down and Danse wouldn't, so I would have felt awkward. "How about you ask them right away?"

"I'm not sure I _have_ questions, sir." I was taken off guard by this whole thing. "I was expecting to come here and receive my new assignment, that's all."

Maxson nodded his head slowly. "Alright... Well, it will please you to know that I _have_ an assignment ready for you, then. But the matter remains whether or not you're ready to take it."

"She's completely-" Paladin Danse began, but the Elder shot him a dark look.

"I know perfectly well what your opinion is, Paladin. And if your opinion was all I needed to go on, I wouldn't have called Nora in here."

"What's the mission?" I asked simply, just as I had five days earlier. The easiest way to find out - ask.

"We'll get to that. First of all, I wanted to officially notice how well you've adapted to our ideals. I highly regard that."

"Thank you, sir." I looked down at my feet. If he was being all flattery, he had to have a reason.

"I've looked through your medical files, too." He took the said files from his desk and wrinkled his forehead. "When asked if you would have moral issues with killing an enemy, you said that you would kill if ordered." He looked up at me. "May I ask where that lack of doubt comes from?"

I shrugged. "It's fairly simple, sir. I don't have moral problems with pulling the trigger if the person on the other side is deserving of that fate. They get what they have coming."

"I see... That's a rare answer. Most new recruits prefer to stand by self-defense. Which, of course, is understandable. _But_ there was something else in your files that grabbed my attention. Oh, the physical test doesn't concern me, I'm completely certain you're a healthy young woman. It's psychology that is interesting in your case."

I hadn't paid much mind to the medical examination I had had to go through at the beginning of my training - it had involved a psychological test, yes, but I hadn't thought the way I answered would lead to me getting a specific assignment.

Elder Maxson put his hands together. "When asked why you had decided to join the Brotherhood, you weren't consistent. I can see why you would change it - 'I don't know' isn't the most appealing answer. But it's the second one that really interests me." He looked me straight in the eyes. "You want to fight the Institute."

"Yes, sir. That is correct." Because what else could I say? It was the truth - I still wanted my revenge.

"I asked Proctor Ingram how you handled yourself during the training, and it seems you have all the logistic knowledge you might need in the Commonwealth. The mission at Fort Strong was controlled, it couldn't have failed, but it was supposed to be a gage of that creativity of yours - which Paladin Danse had so kindly noticed. You passed that test, Knight."

I hadn't even been aware that it had been a test.

"Only one question remained: can you listen to orders? After Fort Strong, I had some serious doubts about that." He looked out the window. "I thought sending you into the field would be the best way to find that out. As well as if you can cooperate with others." Maxson smiled briefly. "I thought a partnership assignment would let you retain some of that freedom you seem to value so much. And you passed that test too."

There was a moment of silence.

"With all due respect, I wish I had been told that I was being tested," I said finally.

"Except you wouldn't have reacted naturally then," Proctor Ingram pointed out. "It was really the point that you didn't know."

"...Okay."

"So now, let's talk about your assignment." Elder Maxson leaned on his desk. "I don't know how much you've gathered from my speech last week, but I think it's rather clear that our arrival in the Commonwealth was no coincidence."

"You came here for the Institute," I said calmly. "That's clear."

"Yes. Yes, it is." He didn't seem too phased with that. "As it should be. I was planning to begin this mission with the coming of the next year, but we had to hasten its beginning. Scribe Brach from Paladin Danse's recon team registered and described some unusual signals - all of which were gone before anyone had the chance to investigate their source. But we have reasons to believe that source was the Institute. I already have most Scribes looking into that, trying to find more energy bursts like those. For now, it's the most solid lead we have on the Institute. Are you following, soldier?"

"Yes, sir." I already knew most of that - he was just putting it all together.

"Good. Because this is where your role begins." Maxson sounded so certain of what he was saying that I couldn't help but feel hope too. "You and Danse will be dispatched to the Commonwealth for a permanent assignment. Your mission is crucial to our campaign. Because you two are to find a way into the Institute."

My eyes widened. "But that's-"

"Let me _finish_ , Knight. I'm not expecting you to get results right away, I'm fully aware how ridiculous that request would be. But there are certain types of investigation our Scribes _can't_ conduct - the ones that you seem to be so good at, conveniently. And they require a fair amount of active combat, as well as interaction with a number of civilians. You being fairly new in the Brotherhood is an asset right now, for you are unbiased with our point of view. You can look at things as both a soldier and a civilian. _That's_ what I want from you: to find a way to get there - and if that's not possible, _create_ one. Can I count on you to do that?"

I slowly took off my glasses. I didn't know how to answer - it sounded like the biggest responsibility ever. I couldn't deny that I had wanted exactly something like that, but was I ready to take it on myself?

I looked at Paladin Danse and Proctor Ingram, but their expressions said the same thing - I would be an idiot to refuse.

When I put my glasses back on, my hands weren't trembling anymore.

"I promise to _try_ , sir," I said calmly. "But I can't surely say that there will be any results. I'll do my best, but there's only that much I can do."

Elder Maxson nodded.

"I expected no less of you, Knight." He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. "Very well. You two may leave now. I'm giving you standard funding for field operations, Paladin. You'll have to make do with that."

"Yes, sir." Danse acknowledged it with a nod of his head.

"I want you to report in here at least once every two weeks and let me know you're still alive and how the investigation is progressing. That is all. Good luck."

I saluted when I noticed Paladin Danse doing the same.

 _"Ad victoriam."_

"I certainly hope so, Knight. I really do." He sighed. "You are dismissed."

Proctor Ingram left the room with us.

"If you want your power armor fixed up before you leave, I can do that," she offered.

"I don't think I'll be taking mine..." I said calmly.

"But _I'll_ gladly get mine looked over," Paladin Danse said. "The hydraulics in the right leg have been acting up a bit lately."

"I'll look into it," Ingram promised with a smile.

"Are you completely certain this is a good choice?" The Paladin asked once she walked away. "Power armor is the most advantageous thing you could possibly take into combat. And we'll be facing a fair amount of combat during this assignment."

I tilted my head. "It's heavy. And we'll also be facing a fair amount of _walking_. Way more than fighting, I think. If you really want to go around like a tin can, I'm not stopping you. But I want to make the impression of a normal person."

"If that's the way you see it," he said diplomatically. "Now get your things all packed up, but only take what's completely necessary. We'll meet at the flight deck in half an hour from now."

"We're leaving today?" I asked. I had been hoping to use my bunk bed at least once before I would have to go over to sleeping on the ground again. "Don't you think it's a bit too late to head out?"

I looked at my Pip-Boy. No, it wasn't too late. It was barely after noon, 11th November.

Oh. 11th November. It was today.

Veterans' Day.

How appropriate that I would get my placement of orders in the military on that day. How _poetic_. Who knew? Maybe Elder Maxson had planned it all - though it seemed unlikely.

"If we leave in an hour, we'll still have the time to cover a few miles today. Any more questions?"

"No, sir."

Already in the barracks, I looked over all my things, wondering what I should take with me. Guns? _Guns, yes._ _Definitely taking guns._

I took Righteous Authority, Kellogg's revolver, my laser pistol and the old assault rifle, leaving behind the Brotherhood assault rifle and the hunting rifle. _Whoa, I really do have a lot of that._ Maybe I should go and sell some of the weapons I didn't need - I still didn't have any money.

Clothes? I decided to leave my 'civilian' clothes and only take my uniform and Vault 111 jumpsuit. I mostly carried the latter out of sentiment at that point. I somehow couldn't imagine parting with it.

I contemplated taking my leather jacket too, but decided against it. It was early November and there hadn't been a single cold day since I entered the Commonwealth. Sure, the nights could be pretty cool, but I hadn't caught a cold so far.

This was it.

I was going after the Institute. I was really doing it. This time... _for real_. Legitimately. Officially.

I threw my backpack on my shoulders. It was much lighter now that I didn't have all that useless trash inside. It was also lighter because I didn't have any supplies at all, and that was slightly worrying.

I glanced at my Pip-Boy, but I still had ten minutes before I'd have to report to Paladin Danse. I didn't waste time on overthinking - I went to the mess hall for my share of food supplies. Much to my surprise, the officer asked to see my holotags in order to give me my rations. I tried explaining that my commanding officer had taken them, but it didn't do me any good. I had to walk away with empty hands, which kind of frustrated me.

By the time I managed to remember how to navigate around the large airship and how to actually get out, at least ten minutes had passed.

"I'm not going to ask, but I'll assume you managed to get lost," Paladin Danse commented once I finally made it. He looked at me, one eyebrow raised. "...Somehow."

I didn't answer - because he was right and I wasn't about to give people the satisfaction of being right about me being unable to learn my way around. I was pathetic at terrain orientation.

He was wearing his power armor, but not the helmet. The only baggage I managed to notice was a military backpack, only slightly larger than mine.

"I hope you've got food in there," I said. "Because I wasn't able to get any."

"Oh, I took both mine and your food rations. I hope you don't mind. The same goes for ammunition."

So we wouldn't starve to death. Hallelujah.

"Also, I might have taken your monthly supply of anti-radiation supplies, too. I'm not given another until a month after my last survey mission."

I automatically agreed to that too, but after a second I had to backtrack.

"Wait. Anti-what now?"

"Only the simplest substances: RadAway, Rad-X, Stimpaks..."

"No, I meant... more generally. What do you mean by anti-radiation supplies?" I had never encountered anything like that. It hadn't been a thing back in _my_ time, at least.

"What kind of world did you grow up in? There's radiation. Then, there's anti-radiation medication. It's a rather simple assessment."

I gritted my teeth.

 _If only you knew what kind of world I grew up in._

He left the conversation at that, climbing into the vertibird which was supposed to take us to the ground. This time though, I let him help me get in.

"I still can't believe you people managed to build something like this," I said aloud. The Prydwen was really awe-striking, and I could only appreciate it more once we were a fair distance away. "It's just really... I have no words. Wow."

After the War. They'd built this _after the War_.

"If you think the Prydwen's impressive, you should see the Citadel in the Capital Wasteland. A wall so big that it would make Diamond City look like a child's playground... It was home, too." He closed his eyes. "It's a shame the Brotherhood would have lost such an important outpost."

"I guess it was really something," I said.

"It most certainly was. I only wish you could have seen it." Danse looked me straight in the eyes. "Once this campaign is over, I'll take you there. To show you."

I looked at him - during the three weeks I'd known Paladin Danse, he had never said anything that personal before.

"Is this a promise?" I asked, still somewhat surprised.

"Of course. You have my word." He closed his eyes. "Hold on, we're landing."

We were left at the Boston airport with practically nothing - though the vertibird's pilot _did_ wish us good luck. From then on, we would be on our own.

On an impossible mission to track down the Institute.

"What do we even do?" I asked. Paladin Danse just looked around without a word before eventually putting on his helmet.

"I'm not certain where we'd have to look. You don't know the Commonwealth very well, do you?"

I shook my head.

"No, sir. You've been here for a few weeks longer than me, actually."

"Well then. In that case, I think going to Diamond City first wouldn't be a tactically bad choice. It _is_ the biggest settlement in the area, after all. I reckon we could manage to gain some kind of information there."

I couldn't argue with that logic.

Our direction was Diamond City from then on. I had the place marked on my Pip-Boy's GPS, so it wasn't much of a hassle. Still, on foot, it would take us at least two days to get there, and today was closer to its end than beginning already.

 _This is what I wanted. Active duty. Field assignment. Combat._ All those things I'd wanted were the things that I didn't want now.

But I did want to make a change. I had seen what the world was like now, and I wasn't going to sit idly and let that kind of thing continue. Raiders, slavers, super mutants, feral ghouls (ghouls at all), the Institute and their synths... I wasn't going to let all of that continue. Oh no.

So maybe it was for the best that I was finally back in action.

It didn't take us long to get into a fight - some kind of large mutated bugs which I had never seen before and sincerely hoped never to see again - and that was good too. I had almost forgotten how amazing was that rush I got from adrenaline.

It was getting late and we were only just entering Boston's suburbs, so thankfully Paladin Danse turned out not to be completely stupid and decided we should set up camp for the night.

Looking for a good camping spot in the Wasteland is _not_ fun.

It had been awfully quiet for the last few minutes, so maybe I should have seen it coming. I didn't - not until a bullet flew just past my head.

I ducked immediately, both my instincts and experience kicking in at the same time. I drew my laser pistol in a matter of seconds - at this point it was but a habit. Raiders.

"Raiders!" I warned my companion and immediately regretted it because I had just made my exact position known to all of them. I had to get up quickly and run for cover. I found it in the form of a half-collapsed house, this wall thankfully still intact.

One of the raiders decided to go at me hand-to-hand - I wasn't expecting that, so, taken by surprise, I almost got hit by a nail baseball bat. Paladin Danse shot the man dead with just one shot from his laser rifle, but I wasn't grateful. I was more scared of how much of a chance he was taking - he could have hit me.

Why couldn't that damned Wasteland just give me a break? No, it was always something. Not a day of relief.

I fired three times - twice at the man who had just hidden behind a bush and once at his friend. The muffled curse I heard from the bush a moment later was a telltale sign that I had managed to hit him.

I whistled and Dogmeat, the good boy he was, joined me in my hiding spot. He tilted his head at me, as if wanting to ask what I wanted. I just pointed at the bushes.

"Holy _shit,_ they've a do-!"

Those were the last words I heard from the raider. I smirked under my nose, gripping my laser pistol and aiming it at the last remaining enemy... Only to find that he was already dead.

"Stole my kill," I complained to Paladin Danse. "I would have gotten him!"

"I don't doubt you would."

I narrowed my eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. I'm just admiring your one-handed weapon skills. I would have been afraid to go into combat with nothing more but a pistol."

And what was _that_ supposed to mean?

"Come on," he said calmly. "Let's just find some place to set up camp. It's getting dark."

We found an abandoned picnic site in the yard of some house that was no longer standing and we both decided that it would have to do. The area was rather deserted, and if someone were to attack, we would be able to see them from afar. Besides, there was more than enough the appliances we would need there. At first glance I could already see a campfire pit, a bench, a picnic table, a small pile of junk...

I kneeled down next to the latter, wanting to see if there was something useful to be found there.

I wasn't _very_ surprised when one of those mutated moles like the ones I had seen in Sanctuary Hills jumped out of that pile of trash at me. It still managed to startle me, but not enough to make me lose common sense. I quickly unholstered Kellogg's revolver and fired at the thing.

The small gun was incredibly powerful for its size, so I ended up tearing half of the molerat's skull apart and splattering the sleeve of my uniform with its blood.

I flinched a bit, but Paladin Danse was far more affaired than me.

"Alright, that's about enough." He took off his helmet. "What are you doing, Knight?"

I didn't know what he was talking about. I looked around, hoping to see the answer to that question somewhere.

"Fine, let me rephrase it: what _aren't_ you doing?"

"Excuse me?"

"You've got a fairly decent submachine gun on your shoulder. And that laser rifle I gave you isn't a bad weapon, either. So I'm wondering why, with that whole arsenal at your disposal, are you only using that small pistol."

Was I really _that_ obvious?

"I can't shoot," I admitted, throwing my backpack onto the bench. "Those large guns are a bit too heavy for me."

Paladin Danse looked around before coming out of his suit of armor. The frame could stand completely unsupported, of course - power armor was meant to support a person, not the other way around.

"What do you mean, too heavy? There's no such thing."

I laughed nervously. "What?" I looked at him, but he was completely serious. "Of course there is."

He moved towards me, laser rifle in hand.

"No, there isn't. Lack of physical strength is no excuse, because it's not an important factor."

"It's not?" I asked, feeling very dumb.

"Of course not. Technique is far more important. You must just not be shooting right."

He shoved the laser rifle into my hands.

"Show me," he ordered. I raised an eyebrow, unable to fight a smirk.

"Are you serious?" I asked, staring at him. He _was_ serious. "Okay... What do you want me to shoot at?"

"The usual," he replied, taking a few empty cans and carefully setting them on the table. "Go on."

"...Fine."

I raised the rifle to my face, mindful to keep the sights in line with my right eye. I focused, but the weapon was heavy and my arms were still trembling a bit - I couldn't control _that_. I took in a deep breath to steady my aim and shot.

The beam of energy went astray, far beyond our camp.

"No, _no_." Paladin Danse shook his head. "This won't do at all. Come here."

I reluctantly walked up to him.

"Look." He grabbed my arms. "You're holding it too close to your face. Better keep a safe distance, just in case the throwback is too much. Relax your muscles for now, too." Except I _couldn't_ relax my muscles when he was touching me, because my subconscious kept screaming that I was in danger. I tried to do as he said, though - after all, I knew he didn't mean me any harm. Even if he was heavily violating my personal space. "Good. Now, hold it up." He let go of my hands and suddenly, the weapon felt much heavier than when we had been holding it together. I tried not to show that.

Danse poked my foot with one of his.

"And if you stand like this, the weakest gust of wind will falter your stance. You should move your legs like this..."

I felt a red flush on my face when he put his hands on my waist, even though the gesture itself was entirely innocent.

"You should divide your body's weight equally between both legs. If you stand firm, your aim will be firm too."

I nodded, blushing even redder when he moved his hands up my body, to my shoulders. I relaxed the tensed muscled immediately.

"Now try to shoot," he said softly. I did so, and managed to hit one of the cans, which knocked it down. "Now, without my help."

He took a step back, letting go of me entirely. I breathed out, trying to focus on shooting and not on the fact that _Paladin Danse_ was watching.

My aim was much more accurate this time, but I still couldn't hit the can on my own - my hands were shaking too much.

"There's an improvement," he noticed, but it sounded more like it was meant to only cheer me up. "And thankfully you'll mostly be shooting at bigger targets."

I nodded, unsure how else to respond.

"Thank you," I said quietly.

"Now, let's get that fire started."

The ruins of the house were a great source of firewood, and I still had the lighter Valentine had given me, so setting a fire wasn't much of a problem.

At the point we sat down to eat, it had already gone completely dark. Dogmeat was snuggling once to me, once to Danse, apparently torn between which of us would be more likely to feed him. We didn't have any dog food, of course, but I felt bad hearing him whimper like that, so I made it a point that from then on our supplies would have to be split between three, not two.

We didn't really speak, to be honest. That silence was very awkward, but it also gave me some time to think things through. Not that I hadn't already overthought all of them. But still, one thing kept coming back to me over and over again.

The fact that I would have been dead several times that day if it hadn't been for Danse's support.

Every time we engaged in combat, I made some kind of stupid mistake that would have cost me my life if I had been alone. So I supposed I made a rather pathetic soldier in the end.

"Seven," I said aloud. The cracking of fire was comforting in a way - that way, it wasn't completely silent.

"Seven?" Paladin Danse repeated. He looked around, alarmed. Of course, he didn't find the answer anywhere in our surroundings. "What are you even talking about?"

"Permission to speak freely, sir?" I didn't forget about protocol, thank God.

He seemed surprised. "Granted."

"Seven times today you've saved my life. That's seven times I would have died."

"You didn't." He narrowed his eyebrows. "And you _won't_ , understand?"

"Yes, it's nice of you to say that, but..."

"No, you don't understand. I will not _allow_ you to die." He closed his eyes. "Elder Maxson put your life in my care. I'm not saying that it was a good choice, but I'm not about to cave in on my responsibilities."

"...Thank you?" I hadn't thought he might feel that protective of me. Sure, he was my sponsor and everything, but I mostly felt like he wanted me to be more than I was able to. Definitely not like he cared. But what if _I_ was wrong? Maybe us not getting along was my fault after all... "I'm sorry if I'm not trying hard enough," I said quietly. "I'll do better from now on."

"No... There's... There's really no need for that. You see, I..." He looked at the fire. The flames reflected in his brown eyes, flickering embers that could light the darkness. "You're not a bad soldier, Nora."

"...I'm not?" So far, he had been making it clear that I wasn't good enough, and now this?

"No. I don't think so. You see..." He took in a deep breath and I got the impression that he wanted to say something that had to be hard for him. "Back when I was just an Initiate, my sponsor was an officer widely respected in the Brotherhood, Paladin Krieg."

Okay, that was unexpected. I hadn't thought we were at the point of personal confessions.

"Paladin Krieg... He was a visionary and experienced officer. Whilst serving under his command, I learned most of the things I know now. But I always had the impression that..." Danse wrinkled his forehead. "Somehow, it felt as though he was demanding too much from me. He always made me push myself too hard for my liking, and whatever I did, it did not manage to satisfy him."

"Oh." That sounded strangely familiar.

"The worst thing was that he didn't want me to be _as good as_ everyone else, that wouldn't be a problem. I would manage." He looked down. "No, the problem was that he wanted me to be _better_. 'Train harder, Danse. You'll make a good soldier yet. You just have to work more.' I always felt that I had to give it a hundred and ten percent to satisfy him." He sighed.

A moment of silence followed. I kicked a small rock and watched it roll away from our campfire into the dark of the night.

"Did you ever ask him...?" I asked finally. "Why he was so hard on you. Maybe he had a reason... _Surely_ he had a reason."

Paladin Danse closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. He slowly let out a breath and only then looked at me.

"I considered it, for a while... When I got promoted to Knight-Captain, I was moved to lead my own squad and I lost all contact with Paladin Krieg. But still, the matter kept on returning to me. At some point I realized I wouldn't get my peace until I found out, so I decided to ask him about it... It was too late. Because when I finally gathered the courage to speak to Paladin Krieg, I was informed that he had died already." He paused and for a moment the only audible sound was the cracking of the fire. "The news was like a punch in the stomach to me. Suddenly, death... And loss as well, I suppose... Suddenly, it became that much more real. Do you understand what I'm talking about?"

I nodded vigorously - I understood all too well.

"You only realize how fragile life is when you lose someone close to you," Danse said quietly. "Until that moment comes, you may only _imagine_ what it feels like, how terrible losing someone is... But in reality, _you have no idea_."

"I've lost people too," I whispered. My eyes were burning - I must have been staring at the fire for too long. "I lied to you," I admitted, still looking at the flames. Somehow, it was hard to meet his eyes. "My husband hasn't been kidnapped, he's... He's dead. I only said that because..." I let those words hang in the air for a moment. "Because I was hoping that... I don't know... That maybe if I _pretended_ everything was fine, it would _be_ fine." I covered my face with my hands. "I was stupid."

I began coughing, then, and Paladin Danse had to move closer to me. Before I realized it, he had taken off his jacket and placed on my shoulders like a warm blanket. He looked down at me for a long while, before finally looking away, at the fire.

"I don't think it's something to be ashamed of," he said with a sad smile. "Our mistakes are what we are measured by, after all - that's just a part of being human. Everyone acts stupid sometimes. Which brings me to the point I was getting to... Ever since Krieg died, I thought I would never find out why he hated me so much. But now, when I find myself in his very place, I think I finally understand."

"In his place?" I repeated. "Hold on, am I missing something? I don't understand."

"Paladin Krieg didn't hate me. I'm sure of that now. Finally, I... I finally understand. The reason he was always so hard on me is... It's the same reason why I'm so hard on you now." He glanced at me, but just for a second. "Because when I look at you, I see such great potential that it terrifies me tremendously that it might go to waste. I _personally_ don't want it to go to waste. I never felt like that about any recruit... Until you came along."

I was so touched that for a moment I forgot how to speak.

"...Thank you."

"Don't thank _me_ , Knight. Thank only yourself. Because with this confession comes also an apology..." He looked down. "I'm sorry for being so hard on you. I see now that you would continue to do the best for our cause no matter how I acted about it." He spread out his arms with a bashful smile. "In the end, I've only made myself look like a fool." He laughed at that - but there was no joy in that laugh, just nervousness. "I hope you'll forgive me for the way I've been acting. You're one hell of a soldier, and I should never have put that to doubt."

"Thank you," I repeated.

"And, um..." He hesitated. "I would be grateful if you kept this conversation just between the two of us. Some of that information was rather personal, and I..."

"It's fine. You're not the only one who misjudges people. And don't worry, you won't end up like Krieg did, because I'm not planning to move to any other squad right now." I _couldn't_ deny that it was my every intention to go up the ranks, though. "Not gonna happen with me. I actually... I like working with you."

"You... do?" Danse looked down at me with a fair dose of surprise. "That's..." He shook his head, as if not quite believing what he had heard. "It's very kind of you to say that. I... Well, I enjoy our partnership as well."

"Yeah, well, we make a good team." I shrugged. "Apparently. At least that's what Maxson told me."

Paladin Danse cleared his throat loudly.

" _Elder_ Maxson to you, Knight." And with that one simple sentence, I was brought to reality. We were _not_ friends. Just colleagues... Even less than that, we were soldiers. Brothers in arms, but nothing else than that. And no matter how I felt about it, hoping for a more personal relationship was just childish.

I cursed internally. I had forgotten all about protocol. What kind of soldier was I?

"Sorry, sir," I mumbled, quickly moving away from him. "I have no idea what's gotten into me, sir. Forgive me if I've overstepped the boundaries. I shouldn't have done that."

He opened his mouth as if wanting to say something, but apparently decided against it as he looked away quickly - but not quickly enough to hide from me the hurt in his eyes.

I pulled the jacket tighter around me. It was warm, much warmer than the air around us, and had that distinctive smell of power armor grease, leather and something that was exclusively Danse.

And it was nice. Because maybe, I had just found a friend... Someone who didn't wish me dead, at least.

"You should go to sleep now," he said, but it sounded almost like an order now. Almost no emotion. "I'll take the first watch, I'll wake you when it's your turn."

I acknowledged that with a nod. I unclipped my combat armor and, using my backpack as a makeshift pillow, lay down on the soft leaves.

I closed my eyes.

oooOOO***OOOooo

The metropolitan area of Boston was far more dangerous than the suburbs - I already knew that, after all - so we had to keep our guard up all the time. Was I regretting not taking my power armor? No. Was I envious of Paladin Danse that he had taken his? Yes. Was that bitter and pathetic of me? Probably, yes.

But things were slightly better between us after yesterday. It's not like we were suddenly very friendly or anything like that, but that tension which had been present before had disappeared. I was guessing some things just need being talked about. I didn't feel that big a pressure anymore - I mean, I did, but not from Danse's side. Besides, he let me keep his bomber jacket, so that felt like some kind of truce. A peace offering or something.

I snorted, amused at that thought.

 _Knights, Paladins, and peace offerings. I live in a fantasy novel._

"Something funny, I presume?"

I gritted my teeth, immediately looking at the ground not to let him see my smile.

"No, sir. Not at all. I just got caught up in my thoughts."

Paladin Danse looked around.

"Well, just don't let it affect your focus on our surroundings, will you?" He was wearing the full set of armor again, so I couldn't see his expression. "I have got a bad feeling about this, the whole area's radiating a sinister aura."

"You said it," I agreed. "I feel like something's about to attack. Feral ghouls, super mutants, raiders..."

"Whatever it is, the next thing that jumps out at us gets a laser to the face."

"You _said_ it." And was that tension I heard in his voice? It sounded like I wasn't the only one who was on edge. "And silence, by the way, is the most unnerving thing ever."

There was a moment of silence.

"Now _I_ feel compelled to agree with _you_."

It was as though by miracle that I remembered that my Pip-Boy had a built-in radio. I searched the pockets of my jacket for the earbud, then proceeded to remember that it wasn't my jacket, then remembered I had hidden it in the outer pocket of my backpack.

Classical Radio on. I had never been a fan of classical music, but now, since this was the only good radio station in the Commonwealth, I was beginning to actually associate Beethoven with nuclear fallout.

We managed to walk in relative peace for an hour or so, which was honestly like a miracle. There were a few hostile mutated animals on the way, but Paladin Danse made a point of taking each one of them down, often before I even managed to unholster my own weapon.

I was trying to shoot my two-handed guns too now, for now starting with Righteous Authority because it was both the lightest and the smallest. Energy weapons had this one great advantage over conventional guns that their ammo was a lot lighter. I could really work with that. Besides, I was kind of trying to humor Paladin Danse too, not that I cared what he thought - I did, of course I did - but he was my commanding officer and thus, the quickest road to getting a promotion. I had to have a good relationship with him if I really wanted to climb up the ranks.

I immediately stopped walking when I noticed Paladin Danse stop too.

"Did you hear that?" He asked, his voice very low. I quickly turned off the music and listened carefully.

It sounded like two people arguing...? No, like one person shouting.

"Maybe he needs help?" I didn't want to comment on the last time I'd had an experience like that. It had turned out to be an ambush and it had gotten me a serious head injury.

"No..." Danse flicked off the safety on his laser rifle. _"That's_ not what a person who needs help sounds like. Not as far as my experience says, at the very least."

He was right. It was more like an argument.

"Sir. Should we investigate?" I felt like I should ask.

"I can't speak for you, soldier, but I'm certainly intrigued."

That was a 'yes,' then.

We ran forwards, took the corner, and I was met with one of the most surprising things I had seen lately.

Two men were standing on the street, aiming guns at each other. That alone wasn't very strange in the Wasteland, but there was something else about the whole scene that made my blood run cold. The two men were identical. Not only they looked the same, they were also wearing the same clothes. It was as though someone had made an exact copy of a person.

"What the hell?!" I exclaimed, not sure how to react to the situation.

"People!" One of the men turned in our attention the instant we rounded the corner. "This- This _thing_ is trying to kill me!"

"Thing?" The other one narrowed his eyebrows suspiciously. "That's funny coming from a _synth_!"

"I'm not the synth here! I mean... You, in the power armor!" He turned to Danse, his whole posture pleading. "You seem like a sensible man. You've got to believe me, right?! I'm real!"

"And how can I know?"

If he wanted someone to stand by him, he had obviously chosen the wrong one of us.

"Just... Believe me, please! I'm not a synth!"

"That's exactly what a synth would say!" The other one protested. "You have to trust _me!"_

"Hold on! There has to be some way to..." I pointlessly looked from one to the other, but the two men were completely identical. "I'm not sure what to do."

"I'd say we kill them both," Paladin Danse said seriously.

"What?!" I gaped at him. "Are you _insane_?!"

"This makes most sense! How can we know which one of them is the synth? You don't even know this man!" I felt as though I had received a punch to my stomach. He was right. "You wouldn't be able to tell the difference anyway."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" One of them raised his arms, panicked. The other seemed mortified too. "Lady, tell your friend that this isn't a good idea!"

"This _isn't_ a good idea!" I exclaimed. "You would be killing a human being."

"Nora." Danse lowered his voice to a dangerously low level. " _You can't tell_. I would understand if it was about someone you know. Your friend or relative. Then, you would probably be able to try to tell who's real. But this is a complete stranger!" He flicked off the safety on his laser rifle. "I stand by my statement."

"You can't!" I turned to him. "You can't do that!"

"Watch your tone, Knight. I _do_ like you, but that doesn't mean you get to break certain rules. You don't shout at your superior."

"You don't kill people just because you can't tell them apart, either!" I pointed out. "Please, just please, let's hear them both out and-"

I stirred when the sound of gunshot filled the air.

One of the men was already lying on the ground, a smoking burn wound on his chest.

"No!" I gaped at the other one, who was just hiding a strange laser pistol into his holster.

"Thank you," he said calmly. "This will make my mission in the Commonwealth much easier."

This one was the synth! The wrong one had died! Before I had the chance to react, Paladin Danse aimed and shot - it happened so fast that I barely had the time to register what happened.

Both men were lying on the ground, both dead. One of them had been shot in the chest, the other in the head.

I opened my mouth, but I couldn't find the words to speak.

"No..."

It was my fault. If I had reacted a bit sooner, I would have managed to stop this. I knew it didn't have to end like that - but it had.

It was true... The Institute was replacing people with exact synth duplicates. It wasn't some kind of paranoia, it was really happening. Piper had been right all along.

And what had this poor man ever done to deserve this kind of fate? Nothing. It wasn't his fault - and, to face the truth, neither was it mine.

I clenched my fists.

"We're going to find the Institute," I said aloud. "And once we do, I'll let them have a piece of my mind."

Paladin Danse looked at me and I had the strange feeling that he was concerned about my well-being.

"This has to stop," I said through gritted teeth. "It just has."

No more words were needed.

After that, it didn't feel right to waste time anymore so, even if neither of us said it aloud, we decided to speed up the pace.

Diamond City didn't seem so impressive anymore, now that I had seen something like the Prydwen. But it was still uplifting to see this little spot of civilization in that grey, post-apocalyptic world. The streets were overgrown with plants, the sky was covered with clouds, the buildings were mostly collapsed... Yet inside of that baseball stadium, life went on as if nothing had happened. Well, almost as if nothing had happened.

"First thing we have to do is to sell some of the equipment we won't need, then we should look for a decent... Or half-decent, at least, place to spend the night." Paladin Danse looked around nervously - which was funny when I compared it to the nervous looks the security guards were shooting him from time to time. A man walks in dressed like that? I'd think a war was about to start.

Which, actually, wasn't that far from the truth.

"Nora!"

I felt my face grow gradually redder as I looked at the ground. Please don't notice me, please don't notice me.

Piper stormed through the marketplace right to where we were standing, brutally shoved Paladin Danse aside and glared at me.

"You think if you change your hairstyle, put on eyeglasses and new clothes, I won't recognize you? Where the _hell_ have you been?!" She exclaimed. "I thought you were dead!"

She took the rolled newspaper she was holding and whacked me on the head with it.

"Piper!" I complained. "Ouch! What the hell!"

"What the hell, _Blue?!_ You run off somewhere without any explanation and then you don't give a sign of life for a week!"

"I..."

"I'm not leaving you this time, oh no. Like it or not, I'm coming with you. Got that?!"

"But... I already _have_ someone with me," I said, seeing that she would finally let me speak.

"Huh?" Piper seemed to only then notice the soldier she had just pushed aside. "Oh! You're one of those new guys! The Brotherhood of Steel. That's _amazing_ , actually! Wow Blue, how did you find him?"

I felt myself blush even more. This was too embarrassing for me to handle.

" _I'm_ in the Brotherhood of Steel too," I explained to her. "Have been even before I met you, actually."

"So there's not a chance you'll dump this guy for me, huh?" She smirked.

"Piper!" I wanted to die. " _This guy_ happens to be my commanding officer," I hissed.

"And he happens to be rather interested in this new situation." Danse tilted his head. "You didn't mention anything like this, Nora."

"Aaah!" I looked from one of them to the other, frantically. "Paladin, sir, this is Miss Piper Wright, she's a journalist, sir!" I reported quickly. I shut my eyes. "And we're close friends, sir!"

Piper laughed friendlily.

"Look at you, such a cute little soldier."

"Shut _up_ ," I complained, giving her a friendly shove.

Paladin Danse looked down at me.

"If you want to talk with your friend, I'm not keeping you. I'll head off to the market and try to sell some of those weapons you picked up along the way."

"You would?" My eyes lit up. "Thank you so much! Take this assault rifle too, would you?"

He took off his helmet and shook his head, making his hair come back to its natural state. Piper stared in wonder, even as he walked away from us.

"On second thoughts though," she said with a huge grin. "I think I won't have _much_ trouble with him around."

I put a hand to my forehead when I noticed her expression and understood all the implications.

"Pipes, please don't try to flirt with my commanding officer."

"What? I'm just saying." She stuffed her hands in her pockets. "He's cute."

" _Please_ don't try to flirt with my commanding officer," I repeated, this time a bit more despaired. "Try and put yourself in my position."

"If I were in your position, I wouldn't get any work done with someone like him around."

"Piper, I'm not you. My husband died a month ago." _Closer to ten years ago_. "And I'm not really into chatting up every man I meet."

 _Hello, my name is Nora. I want love, but I'm scared of romance. I'm so pathetic._

"Your bad," she muttered. "I like soldiers. I like... the devotion and all that shit... Alright, he's just cute, that's all it is."

"If you're going to make a move on my commanding officer, I can't let you come with us. I've got a career now, you know."

"Yeah... About that." She bit her lip. "Do you even _know_ what you got yourself into? The Brotherhood of Steel... Well, they've got their own agenda. They take what they want - or need - and aren't afraid to use force to get it. I'm... Blue, I'm really not sure if that's the kind of people you should be hanging out with."

"Hanging out?" I wasn't sure if I should cringe or laugh at her choice of words. "Piper, this is an army. And I wasn't _drafted_ , I _volunteered_. I actually _wanted_ to join the Brotherhood."

She looked down.

"If that's the decision you want to make... I don't want it to affect you or your morality, you know? I don't want you to become some kind of violent bigot. They don't even accept the _existence_ of ghouls, Nora. And synths - all synths, not just the bad guys. What else do they want to change?! I just... I want you to put things into perspective a bit, damn it! The Brotherhood aren't the nicest guys around!"

"Well, at least the Brotherhood of Steel don't _lie_ to me!" I exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell me super mutants used to be people?!"

We glared at each other, both of us painfully aware we were making a scene. Eventually, Piper sighed and looked down at the ground.

"We didn't want to do it," she said quietly. "We thought you'd freak out."

"I _would_." I looked away. "But that doesn't justify trying to shield me from reality. Even if it's cruel, or hard." I tilted my head with a small smile. "I know you care, Piper. But I'm an adult, you know, and I can decide for myself. You're younger here - you shouldn't be looking out for me, it should be the other way around."

 _"_... _You_ looking out for _me_?"

"Sure." I gave her a smile. "Why not? You're my friend, Pipes. I want you with me... if you're still up for travelling together, of course. You could give the Brotherhood a chance, too. They're not all bad. Most of them are really nice, actually!" I tried to put way too much enthusiasm into those words. "I'd really want you to come with us. But... You also have to understand that I'm not in charge here."

I was actually impressed with Piper and the way she had with people. Sure, she could be a bit brash, but in the end, she knew how to talk to get what she wanted. Kind of like me, actually. (Which was probably part of the reason why we got along so well.)

She actually _went and asked Paladin Danse if she could join us_ \- which was something I hadn't really expected her to do. She pointed out all the reasons why she wanted to go, even going as far as to say she could slip some Brotherhood of Steel propaganda into her newspaper ( _that_ sounded more like a bribe than an argument to me, actually), while he listened with an expression that didn't really give much hope for an agreement.

"You do realize the Commonwealth is a hazardous place for a civilian, Piper," Danse said calmly. "We will be facing a lot of potentially _lethal_ situations during this campaign, too."

"I can handle myself, soldier boy. I've been doing it for years."

"Well, in that case, I'll be as plain as I can... There's no way I could directly agree to a civilian coming with us." He looked up, at the sky. A brief smile crossed his features, but it was gone soon. "However... I don't see any way in which I could prevent you from going _after_ us. Do you know what I mean?"

"Yeah." A wide grin lit up Piper's face. "That you're not as bad as I thought, Lieutenant Maverick."

I shot her a warning look.

"I want you to know that, as far as any official information goes, you're not with us. We don't know you, and you _certainly_ aren't a member of this squad." Paladin Danse took the power armor helmet and flipped it from one hand to the other. "I can't hold responsibility for you - I'm only looking out for Knight Nora and myself during this mission."

"And that's fair enough," Piper agreed. She looked up at him with a smile (and still managed to look in control despite the two feet of height difference. I was seriously impressed). "Likewise, I'm only letting Nora crash at my place, so... you're not invited."

I sighed. I wasn't really hoping for the two of them to get along immediately, but Piper didn't exactly have to be _that_ obvious about her feelings.

"There's an inn in Diamond City," I offered. "They can't be too expensive."

"If that's what it takes," Paladin Danse said simply. "Very well, then. And, Nora."

"Yes, sir."

"We're moving out first thing in the morning. I tried talking to the civilians, but none of them want to cooperate. We'll have to find another lead." He looked at Piper. "And _you_... If you intend on sticking around for longer, _you'll_ have to adjust to _us_. Is that clear?"

She shrugged.

"Clear as it's ever gonna be." She tilted her head. "Come on, Blue. It's gonna get dark soon anyway."

"Yeah. And... thanks, Pipes."

I had to admit I had missed Diamond City. Not in that nostalgic kind of way like I missed the USA, but... I had made some friends here. It was good to be back with Piper.

Half an hour later, we were sitting on the roof of her house (although it would be more fair to call the Diamond City houses 'shacks', to be honest) and watching the sun set over the wall.

"You're not mad at me, right?" I asked, lighting a cigarette. I hadn't smoked for two days, as there hadn't always been the time to sneak off at the Prydwen. (Proctor Taegan did smoke too, though, so at least I wasn't completely lonely in that.)

"Mad? What for?" Piper laughed. "Seriously, you didn't do anything to deserve being mad at."

"The Brotherhood of Steel. You know. Coming back here as a soldier on a mission instead of just a friend coming with a visit." I looked around for an ashtray, but Piper nodded at me to just knock the ash off at the ground. "I really don't want to be that kind of person who just... You know, ignores her friends."

"You came here, didn't you?"

"Well, yeah." I looked at her. "I guess."

"So. Uh, any luck finding the Institute?"

I frowned. "No." I inhaled a great deal of cigarette smoke, only to let it all out a second later. I felt just bummed out, and smoking helped. "We're looking for a way in at the moment, but... I don't really feel like we've made any progress."

"Huh. Not that I'm surprised, but... Well, that's just not great news."

"You know, that's why I wanted you to tag along, Piper." I offered her a smile. "We've made most progress when we were working together, after all! I need you. Your help, your friendship, your support." I looked at the sun that was just hiding behind the large wall that separated Diamond City from the rest of the world. "We'll solve this yet. Together."

She smirked.

"Yeah. Together."

 **Level up.**

 **New perk: Commando - rigorous army training means your attacks with two-handed rifles now do +5% damage.**


	15. Last Voyage of the USS Constitution

**Chapter Fourteen  
Last Voyage of the USS Constitution  
**

* * *

I suppose the trouble _really_ began when Piper got kidnapped.

We were getting along pretty well, to be honest - much better than I had expected either of my friends to. I think Paladin Danse respected Piper's inherent reverence for honesty, and I think it did a lot that neither of us soldiers had anything to hide from her.

At first, I had been afraid he would ignore Piper's existence, but no, nothing like that. It didn't take the journalist to get all _three_ of us talking - she knew perfectly well how to start the conversation with a subject that would make him feel comfortable and only then begin really talking. And I could see all of that manipulation only because I myself used it very often.

We... got along. Pretty surprising, huh? The pre-War lawyer, the soldier, and the journalist. The age difference between Danse and Piper could be almost ten years, I was point somewhere in the middle... Yet still things were great between us. Me and Piper were amazing in combat together and Danse - well, Danse was a quick learner, so it didn't take him long to fit in.

It went really well for exactly two days.

Because on day three, Piper got kidnapped.

In our defense, there were like fifteen of them against the three of us. So what if two of us were supposed to be trained soldiers and able to defend ourselves? We were outnumbered!

It had begun peacefully enough - we trespassed through what they perceived as 'their territory' and they told us to go away. I actually wanted to comply, but Piper, being Piper, had to go on about how the Wasteland didn't belong to anyone so anyone could walk whenever they wanted... Then, it got more verbally violent, and eventually it got literally violent. With guns and everything.

Piper was very angry with that turn of events - I could see it when she drew her revolver and aimed at one of the men. She didn't hesitate before shooting, which almost surprised me, but there was no time for that. I had to pull out my own gun - if not for the sake of fighting, at least in self-defense. I could see red beams of energy flying through the air, so I assumed Danse was on it too. But I couldn't bring myself to kill those people! I aimed, shot, and managed to hit a woman. I was aiming at her legs. She cursed loudly, grabbing her wounded ankle. Now she would be out of the game!

I grinned, pressing my back against the wall as they continued shooting. Those weren't any kind of mutated monsters, neither were they bloodthirsty maniacs like the raiders. Those people didn't deserve death, in my eyes. So I made it a point that they didn't get it from me.

The whole battle hadn't been going on for long when I got hit for the first time. Was I hit with a bullet? No, of course not, that wouldn't fit my lousy luck.

It was a bit too late when I realized that beeping was coming from a hand grenade which had been thrown in my direction. All I could do was turn tail and run! I wouldn't make it far, but maybe at least out of the reach of the blast?

The grenade exploded, something sharp impaling itself in my back, and the shockwave tripped me over. Before I could cover my head, I hit a wall and everything went black.

oooOOO***OOOooo

"Oh, thank God." Paladin Danse breathed out in relief when I slowly opened my eyes and looked at him. "For a moment there, I almost thought that I had lost you." His eyes widened. "We! Us, I mean. _We_ had lost you. Not that _I_ would- Not that you're even _mine_ to lose. I cannot _own_ you." He put a hand to his face. "Forget I said anything."

I was too dizzy to even _care_ if he said anything.

"What, uh..." I blinked, rubbing my head. Wow, _that_ was one hell of a bump. Ow.

I slowly tried to remember what had happened.

"They took her," I exclaimed. "They- They've taken Piper!"

He didn't say anything.

"What do we do?!" I grabbed a fistful of my hair and yelped with surprise. "Oh my God!" Of course, I had forgotten how short my hair was now. I shook my head. "God forbid, but I'm going crazy in here. What do we do?"

He cleared his throat.

"I was thinking that first of all, we should rescue Piper."

"Great thinking," I agreed. "Wait, what? What? I thought you said you wouldn't take responsibility for her."

"Yes, getting a civilian into harm's way - as if I would ever allow that. All I wanted was for her to look out for herself. Besides..." He mumbled something incomprehensible.

"What was that?"

"Well... She's a member of our team now."

"She is?" I asked with a small smile.

"Not... Not officially, of course, but... I've got to admit that I hadn't expected a civilian to be this cooperative at such an advanced point in our campaign. She's definitely earned the right to be rescued, at the very least."

"A'ight," I said, getting up and rubbing my head slowly. "Which way did they go?"

"Actually, I... Well... At the moment, I was more concerned with your well-being than making sure they didn't get away." He winced. "Now that I look back, it might have been something of an error in judgment."

I didn't want to say anything because I agreed but I didn't want to look like I was angry at him for staying with me. I wasn't. I didn't blame _him_ \- it was all on me, I was the one who had wanted Piper to come along.

"I'm sure I would have done the same," I said eventually. "So let's just go."

Two hours.

Two hours we spent looking all around that area. We looked everywhere, checked every single building (well, not exactly _every_ building, but still) and every street. We even found a nest of radroaches and had to get rid of them too. All that searching, but no results.

"I think it's about time we called it quits," I sighed. "Let's face it: we have no idea where they might have gone, who they are... We don't know anything. This. Is. Hopeless!"

"Do you realize how often you're acting like this?" He raised an eyebrow. "It's something of a habit, I think. Every time something begins to go in a less favorable way, you're ready to surrender. That's strange, taking how your behavior contradicts what you say to others."

I just glared at him.

"I wasn't asking you to _analyze_ me, I was asking you to _help_ me," I growled. "What are you, a psychologist?"

"That's hardly the appropriate way to address a senior officer."

I sat down on a bench.

"I know. I'm sorry, sir. I shouldn't act like this... I just feel responsible for Piper, it's my fault."

"What are you on about? Of course it isn't. It's _my_ fault."

I snorted. "Do you want to argue about it? Let's just say _you_ weren't the person who talked her into coming with us in the first place."

"I'm the commander. Responsibility for anything that happens to any member of the team falls on me." He clenched his fist. "It's as simple as that."

"If you really think that, you must have a very, _very_ miserable life." I felt my eyes widen. "I did _not_ mean tosay that aloud." I looked around, desperately trying to find a distraction, anything to change the subject. "What's that?"

Paladin Danse raised his eyes to the heavens.

"Really, if you want to evade a conversation, you don't have to-"

"No, really. What _is_ that?" I nodded my head at a building several blocks away. "Is that a _ship_ on the roof there?"

"A naval craft from the looks of it," Danse agreed. "That's certainly... peculiar."

"Let's take a look," I decided, and there was no argument about that.

"That's the USS Constitution," Danse informed me when we reached the ship. "But how it got on top of a building, I still cannot see."

"How do you know that?" I was genuinely surprised.

"The name is written on the side. According to historical records, most ships used to have that. It seems like a rule or custom... We'll probably never know for certain."

People talking about completely normal things like they were historical curiosities would never cease to make me feel uncomfortable.

 _Another_ thing that was making me uncomfortable was the small robot which was patrolling the street. It was a Mister Handy unit, the same model as Codsworth (though this one was in a much worse state) but that didn't make me feel better about its presence. In the end, I decided that if we ignored it, it would ignore us.

"Can we see from closer?" I asked. "The ship, I mean."

"I don't see any harm in that. In fact, I'm rather curious myself."

We walked up to the house. I had no idea what had happened here, but the ship must have been thrown onto - _in_ to - the building with some great force, for it embedded itself very deeply, even rumbling the top stories; but it hadn't been strong enough to destroy either. I was actually surprised at how well-preserved it was - it would have been an antique even back in my time, but now it had to be twice that old.

The robot hovered closer to us. I tightened the grip on my laser rifle - it was making me nervous. Was it guarding the ship? Maybe we were too close and it decided we were a threat?

Now it was clear the robot was heading in our direction.

"We should go," I said, completely simultaneously with the other soldier. We exchanged looks. Danse, who was standing closer to the building, began slowly backing away, but did not take his eyes off the robot. I too took a few careful steps backwards.

"Do not move, citizen!" The robot ordered. I froze, unsure as how to react.

"Paladin?" I asked immediately. The soldier side of me was already used to receiving orders in such situations, and it was confused that I wasn't getting any.

"I... honestly don't know what we should do in this situation," Danse admitted.

The robot hovered up to him.

"Scanning. US army uniform identified: mark T-60 power armor. Identity: unknown. Remove your helmet, citizen."

It was clear neither of us knew what to do, but I was also sure that Danse had to be as stressed in this situation as me. Especially when, after a few seconds of indecision, he obediently took off the helmet of his power armor.

"Scanning. Facial recognition failed. No match found within the United States Army. Searching. No match found with the United States population records."

Danse looked completely baffled at that, and even though the situation was serious, I couldn't resist a giggle.

"Apparently, you don't exist." I immediately regretted saying that, because the robot turned its attention to me.

"Please remove your eyeglasses, citizen."

I took them off without giving it much thought - if the Paladin had already done that, I wasn't doing anything radical.

"Scanning. Facial recognition failed. No match found with the United States Army. Searching. Matching ID type: driving license. Number: 22396471. Smith, Nora."

"Hold on." I was more surprised at the fact that it had managed to identify me than I would be if it hadn't. "What?"

"Congratulations, citizen." The robot did an imitation of a salute. "You have been recruited into the Congressional Army."

"What?" I repeated weakly.

"It's been centuries since we've had an army official around, ma'am!" The robot was clearly talking to me. "It would be my honor to invite you aboard the Constitution, ma'am. The captain will be thrilled to meet with you." It turned to Paladin Danse, who was standing beside me with an ultimately confused expression. "And you may take your companion with you as well."

I couldn't help but grin at my commanding officer being reduced to 'my companion'.

"Ironic, isn't it?"

He didn't answer, staring at the ground.

"Sir?"

Danse flinched. "No, I'm alright. We should go on ahead and see what the captain of this vessel might even want from us."

"What about Piper?"

"I'm rather confident in her ability to... um, take care of herself. And even if that weren't the case, she would be the least of my troubles." Something in his expression changed. "I think _you_ are far more interesting at the moment. You do realize you've some explaining to do, right?" He asked harshly. I took a step back, surprised at the tone of his voice.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "I have no idea what's going on here just as much as you."

"I don't think it's escaped your notice that the lookout managed to identify you, even though it's clear its data is not up to date. I would like to know how you can explain this. Because from where I'm standing, it looks more than suspicious."

I looked at him for a longer moment.

"Permission to speak freely?"

He waved a hand, seemingly as done with protocol as I was.

"Permission granted, Knight."

"I..."I took in a deep breath. "I _promise_ that I can explain this. But it's a long and complicated story, and I don't think we have the time for it at the moment. I should've told you earlier, but... I don't know, I guess I was hoping to pretend I'm normal... I should have told you, and I didn't. But I promise it's nothing bad."

"If there's something important you've been keeping from the Brotherhood..." Danse hesitated. Something in his expression softened when he looked at me. "I understand this is a... personal matter?"

I nodded my head.

"I understand. I should bring this forth to the Elder, but..." It was clear he was having a hard time deciding what to do. He gritted his teeth. "Let this remain between the two of us."

"Thank you," I said gratefully.

 _"But_ I'm expecting a full explanation after this is done. Understood, soldier?"

"Yes, sir."

"And I hope it's a good enough reason."

 _Oh, if you only knew._

Finding a way into the building was hard, but finding a way onto the ship was even harder. The whole house was a wreck even more than the ship, so it was almost impossible to navigate around there. Besides, the places where I could easily fit weren't accessible at all to Danse in his power armor. (And he didn't want to leave it behind on sight like that.)

When we finally did get to the trapdoor to the ship's lower deck, we were both pretty much tired with the whole thing and our moods weren't the best. The painful knowledge that Piper was out there somewhere wasn't very uplifting, either.

"...Knight?"

I perked up at the tone of Danse's voice - something was wrong. I stopped what I was doing (which was pushing the trapdoor open) in an instant. He was standing behind me, so I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Yes, sir," I replied warily, something between a question and an encouragement for him to go on.

"You didn't mention how badly you were injured."

"What?" I narrowed my brows. I couldn't remember getting shot up very heavily. In fact, I hadn't been at all. The only thing that had happened had been that grenade... My eyes widened when I realized a shard had hit me when it had exploded. "Oh, my God. Is it bad?! Please tell me it's not very bad!"

I tried to arch my neck so I could get a look at my back, but it was impossible. I just couldn't see that area.

"It's... It definitely penetrated through your uniform, but I can't say anything about your body for certain," Paladin Danse estimated. "It could be, potentially, dangerous. It's a small piece of metal, but it still could mean an infection if it stays in the wound."

"Then take it out!" I exclaimed. I couldn't believe I hadn't realized I had something impaled in my body. Then again, I was still on Stimpaks, and those _were_ pretty heavy painkillers.

"I would be afraid to remove it in these circumstances, Nora. We have no idea how deep the wound is. If I were to remove it now, it would almost certainly cause a hemorrhage."

"...Damn it," I muttered. "So what? Do I just walk around with this thing _inside my body_ until we find a doctor?"

He rubbed his chin. "I was thinking we could maybe get you onto the Prydwen as soon as we're done here. I can't think of any way to treat this sooner."

There was a moment of silence. We _couldn't_ get me onto the Prydwen! The road alone would take at least two days - and what about Piper? I needed a better solution.

"We could go with bandages, alcohol, purified water, and Stimpaks," I said eventually. "I'm no doctor, but _you_ 've got to have some medical training, right?"

I was seriously desperate. And Danse had to see it, because he just gave me a heavy look.

"I'm _not_ doing this. There is no way for you to talk me into trying something I'm not an expert at if there's a chance it will cost you your life." He exhaled slowly. "The risk is simply too big."

I looked down. "I guess you're right."

"I'm fully aware that you want to find Piper now, but you would never be able to do that if you were to die," he said calmly. "Either way, the first thing to do right now is find out what exactly is going on around here."

"Yeah." I pushed the door open and closed my eyes, expecting a cloud of dust to emerge like always with places that had been closed for two hundred years. It didn't happen this time. "Huh."

We entered the ship as quietly as it was possible for a suit of power armor and a wounded. Which wasn't quiet at all. Then again, I had been 'invited' by this ship's captain either way, so it wasn't like we were intruding or anything. Even if it still felt that way.

"Have you noticed how eerily well-maintained this place is?"

"No shit." I looked around. "It's like someone's been cleaning every day through all those centuries."

It didn't take us long to find out that I was actually right, for on our way to the bridge, we passed several robots tending to the ship. Most were cleaning or rearranging the centuries-old equipment. They didn't react to our presence in any way other than acknowledging it, but that somehow _didn't_ make me feel better.

"This ship's a man-of-war," Danse noticed. He seemed to relax almost immediately once he realized we were on military ground. "But look at the armament! This arsenal could easily take out several hostile targets in a matter of _seconds!"_

Was it just me or was he a tad too excited about seeing regular naval cannons? What a nerd.

"Yeah," I said, suspiciously eyeing a Protectron robot which walked right past us. "Because _that's_ what's interesting. Cannons."

"More than you would think," he said, not taking his eyes off the cannons. Also, he apparently didn't understand sarcasm. "This entire vessel is a historical relic, and most of this weaponry looks like it's still operational. That's more than interesting, it's simply _exciting!"_

"Okay, well, don't get too excited. We've got a clear reason to be here," I said flatly. I realized my mistake in a matter of seconds. "Sorry, sir! I didn't mean to sound too dictating! ...I'm not giving orders here."

"No, I was forgetting myself... We're not here on an excursion, this is still a military operation." He glanced at the cannons longingly. "Even if I _do_ regret..." He shook his head. "No, you're right. We shouldn't neglect our duties."

"The bridge, then. It should be... around this way?" I gestured towards a small ladder to the ship's main deck. " _And_ ladies first."

I really wouldn't want to be behind if it gave in to the weight of power armor.

Surprisingly enough, it didn't. I was growing even more impressed of how well-preserved this ship was.

I looked around once were on the main deck. We weren't far above the ground, just four or five stories high, but if this turned out dangerous, getting away would be a problem. And, of course, I was already beginning to catch that Wasteland paranoia - why _did_ I even assume it was going to turn out dangerous?

"I wonder where's the captain," Paladin Danse wondered aloud. "Reprogramming all these robots must have been quite a feat. I'm honestly impressed."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I thought robots were supposed to be evil."

"If you mean synths, that's a different matter. Sentient machines are a danger to humanity's survival and if you can't see that, there's no way I can help you. But _these_ robots? Why, they're simply-" He broke off as soon as he realized he was getting sidetracked again, a small blush on his cheeks. What a nerd.

"Which one of you is from the Congressional Army?" A commanding voice boomed somewhere from our right.

"Me?" I said weakly as we both turned in that direction. "Me."

"I am Captain Ironsides, and may I say it's an honor to have you aboard the Constitution, ma'am! It's been centuries since we've seen the Congressional Army!"

"Is it me or is the captain a robot too?" I whispered to my companion.

"Not just any robot. _That's_ a fully operational US Army sentry bot, peak of 21st-century battle engineering," Paladin Danse whispered back. (Although his whisper was a little less afraid and a little more excited than mine.) "They're actually equipped with several minigun turrets and-"

I rolled my eyes at him and decided to continue my conversation with the robot. The fact that it was like ten feet tall didn't exactly help boost my confidence.

"So, the... Congressional Army, huh?" I cleared my throat. "Sorry for prying, but do you even know what year it is?"

The robot seemed glad I had asked a question.

"Of course, ma'am! The year is of our Lord 2287. November 15th, to be exact."

"Oh kay," I said slowly. "Then you _do_ know it's not the sixteenth century anymore. That's good. Then... what exactly do you want?"

"You're visiting this vessel in trying times, if you haven't noticed it yet. In this condition, we can't contribute to the war effort in any way. As the captain, I have to admit this whole... situation is a bit embarrassing. Thrown onto this building, there's nothing we can do!"

"That's... a predicament," I said unsurely.

"It most certainly is," Danse agreed. "But what war effort do you mean?"

Captain Ironsides made a sound that robots probably used to show annoyment. "Why, against Communist China, of course!" He tilted his head. "Although I will gladly knock up any Canadians or Red Coats that we may find!"

I almost lost my speech, staring at the robot. That was some seriously outdated data they had.

"That was ended," I said aloud. "It's been two hundred years since the end. It's over. We lost."

"Everyone lost," Paladin Danse added.

"Nonsense," the robot dismissed. "America does not yield. We do not lose. All we need to do is get the Constitution off this building and we'll take our land back! Our glory!"

"Huh. Doesn't seem like you need _us,_ then," I decided. "I think we'll be going... What the fuck?!"

Just as I was talking, a frag grenade landed on the ship's deck not that far from us. Terrified by my previous experience, I jumped back before it had a chance to explode.

Paladin Danse had much better reflexes than me, though. He immediately kicked the thing away from us, letting it explode right on the other side of the ship.

Suddenly, we were caught in battle! I didn't know what was going on, but there were some people on the street below who were actually shooting up here - and the robots didn't hesitate to re-act. Not all of them were equipped with actual range weapons, but those that were quickly took place shooting back.

What the hell?! I tried not to get shot by either of the groups, mostly hiding behind the larger robots. There was some kind of switch on the mast next to me, there were two Protectron robots on my left side... Nothing helpful.

"There! Fire the cannons!" Ironsides commanded, and I threw myself to the switch, mindful to keep my head low. Danse and most of the robots were crouched too, only leaning out when they stopped to shoot. Yeah, the situation was bad. Cannons? Seemed like a good idea.

I threw the switch and jumped back as most of the naval cannons on the ship's side fired at the attacking people. I stared in wonder. This weapon was everything!

"Now that's what I call _power!"_ Danse screamed as he spontaneously jumped up in joy. I shook my head with a smirk. _Boys and their toys._ Some things never change.

"They're retreating, sir!" A robot announced. "Yet another glorious victory for the United States of America!"

"Yeah, as if that still exists," I muttered. I glared at Captain Ironsides. "What the hell just happened?!"

"These blasted scavengers have been trying to seize the Constitution for a good several months. We've been trying to fight them off, but it's a constant drain on our valuable time and supplies."

"Don't you think you can get along with them? Give them what they want and have your peace?" I asked. "Surely there's a peaceful way to end this."

"Peaceful solution?" Paladin Danse almost snorted. "I can't believe this is one of my soldiers talking. Nora... There _is_ no peaceful solution. I really wouldn't want to be the person who has to disillusion you with the world, but... that's simply the way it works."

"No." I shook my head. "No, no. You're getting it all wrong. You can't really believe that. It would take someone... You would have to have lost all hope to believe something like that. I... I don't think you're that kind of person. I don't _want_ to think you're that kind of person. There's _always_ hope. There's always a hope for a peaceful solution." I bit my lip. "Yeah, you're right, that solution doesn't always exist! But still... You shouldn't give it up until you're sure!" I put my fist over my heart. "I will gladly wage war across the entire Wasteland if I'm ordered to! I don't have trouble with killing, sir! But I _will_ stand down if that killing is unjustified!"

I glared at him, panting.

Paladin Danse opened his mouth, but didn't say anything, just shook his head. There was a long silence and I held my stance all that time. I didn't stop saluting. I didn't stop looking him in the eyes.

"That's good enough, soldier," he said finally. "But I didn't ask for a lecture on morals."

I raised my eyebrows. I had been expecting him to be angrier, but he accepted my declaration completely calmly.

"That's... Thank you, sir."

"Stand easy, now." He shook his head. "This isn't a muster."

"Yes, sir."

"Military men, aren't you?" The captain looked at us. "You _must_ help us out, then! It's honorary."

 _"Corvus_ _oculum_ _corvi_ _non_ _eruit_ _,_ " Danse said absently. I was convinced he had spoken Latin just now, which surprised me completely. No one I had met in the Wasteland had ever spoken a foreign language before. I had thought they didn't exist anymore. "You _are_ right. But we have got our own matters to tend to as well. My subordinate is wounded and I've got to take her to a doctor."

"Taking casualties? We are at war, then!" The robot exclaimed, clearly excited.

My eyes widened. I pulled Danse aside.

"Please don't encourage him," I hissed. "You've seen the weaponry on this ship. You keep convincing those robots this is a war, they're gonna believe it." I bit my lip. "...Sir."

I was really having trouble with properly addressing all those higher-ranked officers. All the more reason for me to go up the ranks, _quick_. I knew perfectly well that there were fewer ranks in the Brotherhood of Steel than there had been in the American military, so Paladin was somewhere between Major and Colonel... Not fun if someone with _that_ rank called on me.

I had to be friendly. No, I had to be professional. Preferably both.

"Okay, so what you want to do is... remove this ship from the building," I said, trying my best not to sound skeptical. "And you need our help for that?"

"No worries, ma'am," Ironsides assured me. "We have already developed a plan that will do that perfectly well. But those damned scavengers stole one of the most important parts we need."

"Oh," I said. "So you just can't go in and ask them to give it back because you've been shooting at them before." I sighed. "I told you: peaceful solutions are the best."

"They're not always available."

"Quite right, too." I shook my head. "Fine, we'll do that for you. What did they take?"

"A crucial piece of technology, an NX guidance chip. We need to install it in the ship, the whole plan won't work otherwise."

"We'll see what we can do," Paladin Danse said. "But only on moral obligations." He nodded at me. "Come on."

Leaving the ship was much easier than actually entering it, and that was a bit unfair, but as someone with a potentially open wound in my back, I wasn't complaining.

I jumped off the rubble onto the street and almost lost my breath as a sharp pain overtook almost half of my body.

I winced. "Damn," I whispered.

"What's wrong?" Danse asked almost immediately.

"I think my painkillers just wore off," I said through gritted teeth. "Holy _fuck_ , hurts like a bitch."

 _"And,_ you're perfectly well-mannered and appropriate. That's a relief."

I glared at him. The guy doesn't use sarcasm ever, _except_ when it's at my expense? Not cool.

"I have a fucking metal shard impaled into my body, forgive me if I'm overreacting a bit, but _damn it!"_ I exclaimed. "It hurts!"

"Here, let me get you something." He handed me a syringe and I injected it into my side without even looking at it. The relief was immediate.

"This feels _so good,"_ I breathed out.

"Well, watch out so you don't get addicted. I don't like your reaction."

"You can get addicted to Stimpaks?"I asked skeptically.

"I haven't heard of any case, but you could be the first."

I giggled. "Yeah."

Tracking down those scavengers wasn't as hard as I had feared it would - we just followed a trail of blood on the streets. Some of them must have been wounded pretty badly. Somehow, I didn't feel bad about that.

We didn't have to wait long to find them - they had set up camp not more than ten blocks away. Not a temporary camp, either. Those people had clearly been there for days.

"Don't shoot!" I screamed as soon as we came closer. Paladin Danse looked at me, clearly embarrassed. "What? I don't wanna end up all shot up. I know you've got that fancy armor, but I don't."

Circa ten people went out of the camp to meet us. All of them had taken weapons, of course. A middle-aged woman stepped forward, apparently the representative or leader of the whole group.

"Holy shit," she said once she looked at us.

"You know, I actually agree for once," I muttered. Louder, I said _"You_ tried to kill us."

"Holy-" She winced. "Listen, real sorry about that. We didn't know you people were there! We didn't get you, did we?" She didn't wait for my answer and just went on. "We were only trying to kill those stupid robots, honest!"

"But why?" I complained. "What have those robots done to you?"

"They weren't aggressive until you attacked," Paladin Danse pointed out.

"Look, the robots are sitting on that ship and they won't back down. All we want is-"

"Nora?!"

I froze at the sound of my name as one of the scavengers pushed their way towards me. Except that one scavenger looked awfully familiar. And her clothes weren't torn rags, but a worn leather coat and scarf.

"Piper!" I exclaimed and didn't wait for a second to embrace her. She returned the hug happily. "What are you doing here?!"

"It's all a huge misunderstanding, alright? These guys just wanted some kind of tech from that ship that's on the building, and since I had been kind of taken hostage, I went along and... Long story short: this is gonna be one _hell_ of an article. Just you wait till I get this printed. Would you believe there's robots in there that-"

"You know, I actually think that we would," Danse said coldly. "It _is_ mostly the reason why we're here."

"Paladin. Good to see you alive and well."

"Piper."

"Now, I can see you're all familiar and friendly." The woman smiled. "That's great. Piper, why don't you introduce us?"

"Oh sure. Knight Nora and Paladin Danse from the Brotherhood of Steel," she motioned towards us. I shyly waved at them, but no one responded. Piper nodded at the woman. "This here's Nancy, she's kind of in charge of this happy little group."

"All right, Nancy." I offered to shake hands with her, but once again, I was coldly ignored. I cleared my throat. "Um... You said you want to get that ship?"

"Well, yeah. I don't think you can actually imagine how much we could earn by scrapping it down. That salvage's worth more than all the robots combined, it's a gold mine."

"So... greed," I summed up bitterly. "That's what it always comes down to, isn't it?"

"Sadly enough," Danse agreed. "Then I guess we'll just be taking what we came for and we'll be off."

"What _did_ you come for?" Nancy asked suspiciously.

"The ship's captain asked me to retrieve something you guys had taken. A chip of some sorts," I explained. "So you _could_ be so kind as to give it back."

"Did he even tell you what he wants that for?" She asked, staring straight at me. "He wants to build a _rocket_ and launch it. It's gonna blow the whole ship apart! He's nuts!"

"Seriously, Blue." Piper looked at me pleadingly. "The robot's got a fault in the subroutines or something. That's insane!"

"Still better to help the robots who are programmed to care for that historical relic," Paladin Danse pointed out. "These hooligans would just scrap it for parts with no consideration of its real value!"

"We _humans_ need those parts way more than a bunch of crazy old robots," Nancy argued. "There's something wrong with _you_ if you disagree!"

"Well, your methods _do_ leave a lot to be desired," Piper snorted.

"Hey, missy, I thought you were on our side!"

"Whoa, so there are sides now?!"

It was really going to be a fight soon if I didn't do anything.

"There. Are. No. Sides!" I exclaimed. Everyone looked at me in a split-second. "Whatever you all say has no bearing anyway, because _I_ am the only one who can freely walk aboard. And the only thing you're doing with all this shouting is that you're annoying me."

No one dared talk after that. Piper mumbled an apology, Nancy glared at me, but no one really said anything. _Peace and quiet. Finally._

"Now," I said calmly. "I have no idea what's this shit about blowing up the ship, but I'm pretty sure that's the last thing those robots would want. I don't want to fight anyone, I'm just here for that chip."

"So you're with the robots, then?"

"No, I'm not with anyone. I just wanna know what's going on, and I wanna know both sides of the story. I just heard yours - robots wanna blow up their precious ship with a homemade rocket, _very_ believable - and now I wanna hear what Ironsides has to say."

"You mean the robot," Nancy said, raising an eyebrow. "Can't believe we're negotiating with machines now. Isn't the Institute and those synths enough? You have to go talk with _actual_ robots?"

"The chip," I said calmly. "Hand it over."

"Fine, you can have it. But bear with me, if you're not back here before tomorrow with good news, I'll have to assume you're the enemy too. We're attacking that ship if we have to."

Danse stepped forward.

"We're protecting that ship if we have to," he said, glaring at her.

I stepped in between them. "No sides," I reminded everyone. "There are. No sides. Please let go."

Nancy reluctantly handed me something, which I immediately passed to Danse. He had always been better with technology than me - besides, I had left my backpack at Diamond City, along with his jacket and everything. I didn't even have pockets I could hide the chip in.

"Oh, good that you're here." Piper smiled. "I think I've got something that belongs to you."

"Dogmeat!" I exclaimed, kneeling down to embrace my dog. "I didn't realize... you were gone." My grin fell when I fully understood what I had just said. "Oh... Oh my God, I'm terrible."

"No, you're not." Piper knelt down next to me and gave me a hug. "You're amazing, Blue. Um... Danse, a little help here?"

"Yes. You're _both_ amazing," he deadpanned. "You would be even _more_ amazing if you picked yourselves off the ground and actually got going."

Reluctant as I was to do that, I had to admit he had a point.

"Now," Danse said as soon as we were a few blocks away from the scavengers. "Since we're all together again, will you finally agree to go to the doctor?"

I spread out my arms. "No problem at all, sir."

"Good. Now, here's what we'll do: the scavengers want to seize the ship and the technology inside. The robots are better suited to take care of something of that value. Do we all agree on this?"

"Yes," I said.

"No," Piper said.

I looked at her. _"Yes,"_ I repeated. "Really! You're not objective, you spent the last three hours with the scavengers. Therefore, you have no right to protest."

She smirked. "You are so impossible, Blue."

"Aren't I." I sucked in a breath. "Now, I need my painkillers." No one did anything and I felt myself growing more and more agitated as the pain built up in my body. "Danse! Painkillers, _now!"_

"Oh my God," he whispered, terrified. "Please don't do that anymore. I'll give you everything you want, just don't kill me."

Piper giggled. "You shouldn't shout," she translated.

I angrily yanked the Stimpak out of Danse's hands and injected into my body. I was glad for the relief that came with the drugs that eased the pain immediately.

"If we're past that, you could hear out the plan," he said, looking at me intently.

"What's the plan?" I asked mockingly. I cleared my throat. "No, really. What's the plan?"

"I'll need you to do a lot, Piper. A lot more than I should ever ask of a civilian."

"Happy to help," she shrugged. "And, knowing you, you will probably pay me anyway, so where's the harm? What do I do?"

"You will take this chip and give it to the robots. Use Nora's name if they don't want to let you in, that should work. Tell Captain Ironsides that the scavengers want to attack at dusk and get out of there as soon as it's possible. Try to make it to the place where we had set up camp yesterday." He let out a nervous breath, and it seemed like he was trying to calm himself down more than anyone else. "You do _not_ want to get caught up in the fighting. If Ironsides doesn't launch that rocket of his before the scavengers attack, it's going to turn out ugly."

She looked at him for a very long time. "...Fine," she said finally. "That's easy. I can do that."

"I'm sorry for dropping you off like this, Piper, but Nora's state demands medical attention and I wouldn't want to trust some random Wasteland medic."

"I'm fine," I protested, but they both ignored me.

"I'll really be alright, you go on without me." She narrowed her brows. " _But_ I'm waiting right here for you, and I'm expecting you back in a few hours."

I was pretty sure Piper was the only person I knew who could just dictate Paladin Danse what he had to do like that. She really did know how to talk. And the difference between me and her was that I knew how to act to be persuasive, while she was just naturally intimidating.

"Of course," Paladin Danse said simply.

Piper went in one direction, we went in the other.

"I don't want to be mean or anything," I said, "but 'a few hours'? Here to the Prydwen? Two days. And back? Four days. We can't physically make it."

He looked down at me. "That's what _you_ think."

He took something out of the outer pocket of his backpack. I didn't see what it was, but he threw it a good several meters ahead. The object immediately lit up with a bright red light, smoking heavily and I recognized some kind of flare.

"A signal grenade," Danse explained calmly. "The nearest Brotherhood vertibird that spots this will be able to pick us up."

I gaped at him. "When am _I_ gonna get those?" I complained.

"When you're older," he said with a smirk. He frowned. "But... Since we're alone now, we could discuss that matter you've mentioned earlier... Off the record, of course."

"Oh, that." I laughed nervously. "Well... How simple do you want it to be?"

"As simple as it's possible, preferably."

"Okay. I'm two hundred years old. There you have it." I averted his eyes, looking at the grass instead. His shoulder. His chin. He would have to shave that beard soon.

"I'm not sure I understand. Are you some kind of ghoul or...?"

"Okay then, a bit less simple, then." I sighed. "You see, I was frozen all that time. Actually..."

I ended up telling him the whole story. In the ten minutes that passed until a vertibird landed nearby to pick us up and take us to the Prydwen, I managed to fill him in on pretty much everything my other friends knew already - and some of the stuff I hadn't told neither Preston Garvey nor Nick and Piper. Danse wanted to know all about Vault 111, the cryogenic pods and how all that equipment worked - which I couldn't give him a satisfying answer to, sadly.

But he accepted it without question, which was as much of a surprise as it was a relief.

"You believe me," I said simply. "I didn't expect you to."

"Of course I do." He looked out of the helicopter's window as we passed the Charles River. "What you just told me was way too complicated to have been a lie. I just find it hard to believe you would be able to make something like that up."

"Thanks. For believing me and for not believing in my creative imagination." I laughed, but he didn't seem to get the joke.

First thing we did after landing on the Prydwen was that Danse picked me up, bridal style, and carried all the way to the medical bay. I didn't even know what was worse - the terrible violation of my personal space or the embarrassment. But in all honesty, it hurt to as much as walk at this point, so he was almost excused. Almost.

Knight-Captain Cade was surprised to see us so soon, but not very surprised to see how badly I was injured.

"Grenade," he said simply as soon as he got a look at the wound in my back. "Have you been using too many Stimpaks? It's almost completely healed by now."

"It is?" I asked, trying to crane my neck in a way that would let me see it.

"I'll have to remove the shard... And stanch the bleeding that will follow. But even then, the wound shouldn't be too bad. If it's closed soon enough, of course."

"So..." I glared at Paladin Danse. "We didn't really have to come all the way here?"

"Oh no. I wouldn't say that." Cade took out some bandages. "It's always good to see a qualified doctor, even if just in case." He patted me on the shoulder. "I'm taking it out now."

I nodded. "Okay..." I shut my eyes. "Okay."

I cried out in pain when he pulled at the piece of metal. It hurt much more than when it had been inside! I tried to focus on the pain in my hands as I dug my fingers into my skin, but it didn't even compare to what I was going through.

I gasped in relief as someone - Danse or Cade, I didn't care - injected me with some painkiller and it slowly went away.

I didn't know how long it took, but it couldn't be more than just several minutes. Eventually, my torso was wrapped in bandages and a dressing on my back. Cade told me that I could go into combat, but I should 'take it easy' for a few days.

"You should be more careful in the future, though," he said as I zipped my uniform back up.

"I'll try to," I promised.

Knight-Captain Cade gave a small smile. "I wasn't talking to you, Knight."

"Of course," Paladin Danse promised. "I'll look out for her better."

Now, the whole thing was just awkward.

"Boy, is it cold in here?" I sighed, shivering slightly.

Danse narrowed his brows. "Nothing that I felt," he said.

"Come here," Cade instructed and grabbed my hands. He was a bit warmer than me, just like Piper, but it wasn't much. He wrinkled his brows, then touched my forehead. He had a high fever! I backed away a bit.

"Has your skin always been this cold?" He asked.

"I guess?" I shrugged. "Is it a problem?"

"Not a problem, no. Just... curious."

Danse gave me a look that was very easy to interpret: _if you don't tell him, I will._

"Actually, I... might have left out a few details during my medical examination." I glared at the Paladin. "Happy now?"

"A few details... What about?" Knight-Captain Case looked at me critically.

"The Vault I lived in." I closed my eyes and slowly exhaled. "I forgot to mention that I _didn't_ live in it. But I spent there a bit longer than twenty-five years."

"You could clarify."

"I entered Vault 111 on 27 November, 2077. The day when the world died... A part of me died that day too. My family, my friends... Everything I'd known. When I woke up 210 years later, I had nothing. Nothing, Captain."

Cade stared at Paladin Danse.

"And you knew about this?!"

"Oh, of course, blame me. It's clearly my fault that this soldier is hesitant to share personal information. _Sensitive_ , personal information." He raised an eyebrow, though still maintained a straight face. "It's _definitely_ my fault."

I gaped at him, completely shocked at that very blatant declaration of care for my privacy. With allies like that, I could take on the world.

"Thank you," I said gratefully. Danse didn't even look at me.

"It doesn't matter." He shut his eyes. "And _don't_ thank me anymore, Knight. I wouldn't want it to seem like you owe something to me. I don't want any debts between us."

"Yes, sir," I whispered.

Knight-Captain Cade was looking at me curiously all the while.

"Two hundred years," he said quietly. "All that time... What kind of preservation..."

"Cryotechnology," Paladin Danse answered.

"Well, that _would_ explain your body temperature," Cade said slowly. "But no one checked you for other side effects?"

 _Side effects._ I didn't like the way it sounded. But then again, both Doctor Sun at Diamond City and Nick Valentine had noticed...

"Slow metabolism," I said aloud. "Apparently, my body tissues don't want to heal. I need to take nearly twice the normal amount of healing supplies to work."

"That's not very surprising, the tissue must regenerate more slowly in the lower temperature. Likely, your hair will probably grow slower, your growth might be stumped..."

"I'm twenty-six," I protested. "I'm not growing anymore."

He ignored that.

"There are, however..." He bit his lip, looking at my friend. "Paladin, if you'll excuse us."

I didn't like his tone. So when Danse obediently stood up, I grabbed his hands.

"Stay," I said quickly. "Please." I felt like I would need some emotional support now.

"Are you sure? This might be very sensitive, personal..." He gradually slowed down, looking at the fear in my eyes. "Oh. Uh, alright."

"I have to yet run a full medical diagnosis but there's at least one side effect I can name right now."

I felt butterflies in my stomach and squeezed Danse's hand tightly.

"What is it?" I asked quietly.

"Your body cells are aging more slowly. Your lifespan..." Knight-Captain Cade cleared his throat. I noticed he didn't want to meet my eyes. "Definitely not like a regular human's. I would give you, in good health... Of course, this is just speculation... And taking that you die of natural causes, but... I would give you a hundred and forty... A hundred and fifty years, maybe."

"No way," I whispered. "No way am I gonna live this long."

"If it's any consolation, your aging process will most probably be appropriate to your lifespan."

I didn't say a word.

"Do you need some time with this?" Cade asked.

With shaking hands, I took off my glasses. I hadn't been thinking too much about my future in the Wasteland. Or my future at all, for that matter. But in those rare moments when I did think about the future, there were three constant variables: first - Piper, Danse and Nick - or in some different configuration, second - the Brotherhood of Steel, third - some kind of family, sometime Shaun, sometimes someone else, a boyfriend or husband, depending on my mood. In each and every one of those scenarios, those three things were positively there in my life: friends, work, and family. I liked to imagine myself growing old in peace, with friends and family by my side.

And, suddenly, that image was shattered.

Danse? Dead. Piper? Dead. Nick? If I ever had the courage to face him again. The Brotherhood? But who knew what it would look like in a hundred years. Family? Tragic. Shaun? If I ever found him. Any man I would ever want to get involved with would die long before I would. (Unless, of course, I went down with a ghoul, but I didn't see that happening.) My life was doomed to misery.

All because some pre-War scientist thought it would be fun to see how the human body responds to prolonged cryogenic stasis. Great job, I had survived it! But maybe it would have been better if I had been a willing subject. No one had asked if I wanted my life to be destroyed like that.

The War was one thing, but destroying my personal, individual future seemed just unfair. Science, science.. All for the good of science. The Institute had kidnapped my son for the good of science. Vault-Tec, RobCo, ArcJet... All the pre-War private companies that led to eventually, the end of the world. Science had done it, atomic bombs destroying what we had all held so dear. Even if people like Nate, the patriots who wanted to fight, had tried to take part in this war... Ultimately, they didn't matter. It ended without regard for any of us, soldiers and civilians alike. Science was simply stronger than manpower.

I clenched my fists, not caring that I would draw blood again. I was too angry to care. Now, it was happening all over again. I had never viewed the Institute as something good, but now I felt pure hatred. They were the legacy of everything that had been wrong with the USA, except they embodied it in the Commonwealth.

"Hate them," I growled. "I fucking _hate_ them!"

Cade pursed his lips but didn't say anything, even as I started sobbing. He just left the room in complete silence.

What a mess I was.

I tried holding back my tears, and was surprised to find that I actually could. _Get a grip on yourself. You've got a job to do._ I would _not_ let myself cry those tears. I was not that weak.

"Nora..."

I had forgotten Danse was still there. Ever since I had asked him to stay, he hadn't said a word. But now, when he used my first name, I had to look at him. He was completely pale, like all blood on his face had been sucked away.

"You're..." He said weakly. "Please let go of my hand."

I knew there was blood under my fingernails, of course, but that wasn't anything new, so I hadn't even considered that it might not be mine.

I quickly let go of him, staring down at my blood-stained hands. My left palm was covered in a web of small, bleeding cuts, but the right was completely alright. It was Danse's blood on that hand.

"You'll need to get this disinfected," he said calmly, taking my hand into two of his significantly bigger ones. "You wouldn't want an infection just because of a small cut. I'll get a medic."

He turned to leave, but I couldn't just let it go.

"But sir-"

Danse stopped in the doorway, but didn't look back at me.

"What you heard there was your private matter. I don't intend to speak of it any more than we have to."

"...I'm sorry for hurting you," I said quietly.

"Fingernail scratches? I've had worse." He sighed. "I'll be in the mess hall. Report to me when you're ready to set off."

He left, leaving me completely alone in the medical bay.

I nervously spun around on the chair. Waiting for the doctor to come back, it was so strangely _normal_. I looked around, not out of curiosity but more of idleness. I didn't know what to do with myself, and there was a computer terminal on Cade's desk.

I experimentally pressed a button on the keyboard. It wasn't password-protected. I tried to tell myself otherwise, but my curiosity was stronger and I had to look.

It was the list of ongoing medical files on all the soldiers in the Brotherhood. I glanced round, but it didn't look like Knight-Captain Cade was going to come back anytime soon. I opened of them

 _Medical File IG-444PR_  
 _Proctor Ingram_

 _Patient is complaining of phantom pain from limb loss. Previously prescribed painkiller and Stimpak mixture appears ineffective. Dosage has been increased to 300mg/day which is maximum allowable to remain duty-capable. Patient also describes nightmares of limb loss incident which is not unusual considering the level of trauma. Will continue to monitor._

I bit my lip. Somehow, this felt like an invasion on Ingram's privacy. I quickly closed the file. Then again... _IG-444PR stands for Proctor Ingram, huh?_ So that's how it worked... Not very hard to crack. First two letters stand for the name, then some numbers, last letter is the rank. Huh. _I would have thought the Brotherhood of Steel would care more for secrecy._

I noticed another title. _MX-001E._

"Oh look," I said to myself. "Even the Elder's got a medical log." But I didn't open it, because my eyes caught something much more interesting. _DN-407P_.

I quickly looked around, but the room was empty. _This is wrong. I shouldn't._

I opened the file.

 _Medical File DN-407P_  
 _Paladin Danse_

 _Patient symptoms include inability to sleep and a "dull throbbing pain in the head." All standard tests are negative. Evidence suggests post-traumatic stress disorder or similar issue._

"Oh," I whispered, covering my mouth. All the times I had called him out on it... "Of course."

 _Until severity of issue increases recommend voluntary removal from active duty. Patient was informed, but is currently in the field._

I couldn't help but smirk at that. "Of course." It figured he wouldn't listen. Danse was a man who had turned down a promotion because he wanted to stay in the field - of course he wouldn't stop just because he was ill.

I quickly shut down the computer when Knight-Captain Cade walked back into the room.

He gave me a tired look, but it didn't seem he noticed what I had been doing. "Fingernail scratches?"

I nodded, suddenly embarrassed for this quirk.

"Hydrogen peroxide, just so it doesn't get infected in any ugly way." He passed me a small bottle. I took it and quickly stood up from the chair. "It's really too small a wound to get worked up about it. Just clean it regularly until it heals."

"Thank you."

He shrugged. "I'm just doing my job."

Paladin Danse was waiting for me at the flight deck again, so I figured it was the place recon squads just got their debriefings.

"Reporting for duty, sir." I stood to attention. I still felt a bit strange doing that, taking how close we were already, but our relationship was still professional. Most of the time.

"At ease," he said, not even looking straight at me. "If you're ready to go, we should leave as soon as we can. Are you?" He narrowed his brows. "You look like you've got something to say."

"Um, I just..." I nervously rubbed the back of my neck. "I just thought that maybe you should... I don't know, maybe you should stay on the Prydwen for a while?" I shot him my most charming grin." I mean, I _can_ handle myself on my own and... Well... Don't you think you need some rest?"

"Rest?" He raised an eyebrow." I hope you're not being serious. I'm fully capable of-"

"Except you're not! I-" I shut my mouth before I would say too much. I couldn't exactly say that I spent my free time on rummaging through other officers' terminal files. "I mean, are you _sure_ you can handle yourself?"

"I consider this conversation over, Knight."

"What an idiot," I muttered. "You can't just pull rank on me every time I try to help!"

"I said _over_."

That wasn't the best way I could have led that conversation. I wouldn't have managed to talk him out of it anyway. Not only was he my superior, he was directly my commanding officer. And we weren't close enough friends for me to argue.

A vertibird took us back to downtown Boston. The whole trip hadn't even taken three hours - including the visit to the doctor's. I was also pretty sure Paladin Danse had used that moment to report our (lack of) progress to Elder Maxson.

Piper filled us in on what had happened while we had been gone. Apparently, we hadn't been there to see one of the most majestic sights in the Commonwealth, when the USS Constitution had taken off from the building it had been perched on for two centuries. The rocket had actually worked, enough to put the ship back on the waves of the Atlantic. Where the robots would sail from then on, probably no one knew. It would probably become just another curiosity of the Wasteland, a ship aimlessly wandering the oceans in search of enemies who had been gone for two hundred years.

"Where do we set up camp?" Piper asked. "It's getting pretty dark out here."

I had had enough of sleeping under the open air. I looked around. I was pretty sure I still knew my way around this district of Boston.

"I might have a place," I said.

It was still there. Ten minutes' walk from where we had met with Piper, the building I had known before the War was still standing - in a pretty good condition too. The top stories were rumbled and there were no panes in the windows, but that could have been told for any other building in Boston.

Third floor, apartment 26. I found my way there almost mechanically.

"My sister used to live here," I said quietly. "You know, before..." I didn't have to finish.

It somehow felt wrong to bust the door in, but I found the spare key inside the pot with a plant that had been dead for _many_ decades. I used it to open the door. It didn't fall apart at least, although it did creak.

"Your sister?" Piper asked softly. "You didn't mention her before."

Of course I hadn't mentioned her. _Not to you._

"She... Her name was Kate and she was..." I drifted off, trying not to look at Piper. My little sister Katie, who had always stood up for the truth, and always wanted to make others believe it too. She had been engaged in all those anti-War movements during the last few years... All gone now. I allowed myself a bitter smile. "Well... She was a journalist."

Piper looked down. "Oh."

"No, I'm... I'm fine, actually!" I smiled, absently turning the wedding ring on my finger. "We're all here, we're all alive... That's great. I'm great."

She was around Kate's age, maybe a bit younger. Of course it hurt to speak about it.

I slowly walked around the apartment. I didn't know what I was looking for. Skeletons? Living people? I didn't find either.

"It looks secure enough," Danse was saying when I walked into the living room - he sounded actually surprised.

"No one had broken in here during the last two hundred years if Nora could use the key," Piper said. "The lock was untouched."

"Still, it wouldn't hurt to check."

"I've secured the area and barricaded all the exits, sir. It's safe," I reported.

"Oh." He took off the helmet of his power armor. "That's good. It'll feel good not to have to stand guard at least one night."

He came out of his suit of power armor and immediately headed for the kitchen, Dogmeat following him closely. From the sounds they both made soon, I was guessing Danse had found some dog food. I smiled.

"Hey, Blue. We need to talk."

I looked at Piper with surprise. Her tone was uncharacteristically serious.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, genuinely concerned. She did sound like something was wrong.

"Not really... I mean, you _could_ say that. I'm just... I'm worried about you."

"About _me?"_ I grinned. "I can handle myself, really."

"I know, it's just that..." She drifted off, apparently unsure how to put it into words. "Don't you think you're taking stuff a bit too... personally?"

"Huh?" I tilted my head at her. "Stuff like what?"

"Well, everything. Every time we pass by some historical monument, you take it like a personal affront, you act like the end of the world was your fault... And don't get me started on the way you act when in the presence of any soldier. Even the way you look at _Danse_ , for that matter." She looked down at the ground. "It's not your husband, you know."

"I know that," I said quietly.

"You act like you're trying to make something up to him - which is completely stupid, because you really don't owe _anything_ to anyone. Nora... I'm really worried about you. You look at me and you see your sister. You look at Danse and you see your husband. It's too obvious for me to ignore... Do you even _know_ which is the real world?"

"I know that this world is a nightmare I can't wake up from. Does this make it real? I don't know." I sighed. "Piper, really... If I had a problem, you would be the first one to know. I promise."

"First one to know?" She repeated. "You're kidding, right? People don't tell me stuff. I'm that annoying reporter girl. I'm not someone people trust with keeping secrets, I'm a- I'm-"

I put my hand on her shoulder.

"You're my best friend," I said simply. "Is that enough?"

"You know," she smiled weakly, "it actually is."

 **New perk: Soldier On - as a member of the Brotherhood of Steel, you can now call in a vertibird for help in combat. This perk can only be used once a day. Having any member of the Brotherhood as your companion adds another use.  
Level up.  
New perk: Cold-blooded - ****you're an effect of active cryotechnology; immediately gain +10% heat resistance. Your low body temperature has a chance to confuse hostile robots.**


	16. Human Error

**Chapter Fifteen  
Human Error  
**

* * *

The hard thing about looking for the Institute was the fact that we had literally no idea where to look.

I had known that this mission would mean a lot of aimlessly wandering the Commonwealth, but I was only now beginning to realize how hopeless that could feel. It's not like my life was boring - with fighting for our lives on a daily basis, I could barely say that. I just wished we could find some solid lead and move on from there.

But I was beginning to face the fact that maybe it wasn't possible.

"Maybe we just have to _stumble_ upon something, eh?" I asked, using a stick to poke the wood in the dying fire.

Dogmeat only whimpered in response, looking at me with his ears dropped.

"Yeah, well, you're a dog, so what do you know." I allowed myself to smile. "Come here."

He happily let me pet him. I could feel the collar on his neck now (Danse had made one from some old belt or something because he had felt it was 'appropriate'), even if the dog's thick coat still concealed it. My dog. Well, _ours_. Dogmeat usually followed Piper around whenever we split up, but it was Danse who fed him (and even tried to train). I didn't really _do_ much, but he still seemed to like me. Our dog.

"Hey," Piper said. "You... You got a moment?"

I had been sitting alone by the dying campfire and had thought that she and Danse were asleep already. Evidently, they weren't.

I looked up at them.

"Okay, you two look like you've got something to say," I commented. "Just go on ahead."

Piper nudged Danse's side. He cleared his throat nervously.

"Yes, well... We were wondering - both of us... Of course, you're free to decline if it's too uncomfortable for you, but-"

"Please tell us about before the War," Piper chimed in.

I stared at her.

"...You really want to hear me talk about my boring, mundane life?"

They exchanged glances. Piper gave me a shy grin.

"As a matter of fact... Yeah, we do."

"Um..." I absently scratched Dogmeat's neck as I thought about it. I hadn't wanted to share too much before, but at this point, these people were my friends. The closest ones I had in the world, actually. It wouldn't be right to deny them what they wanted. "Well... Okay, sure thing. What do you wanna know about?"

"The war."

"Normal life."

I blinked, surprised. I had kind of expected them to say this, but the other way around.

"You don't want to know about the war?" I asked. Danse looked away.

"There are enough historical records of the whole thing for me to know them by heart. The Brotherhood rose from the ashes of the US military, you know. There is a lot of history behind it, and... The thing that nobody ever mentions is what life had looked like before the world went to hell."

Piper looked at him. "You know... You're right. That _is_ more of a mystery."

"Then, um... Mundane, daily life, huh? What do I even start with..."

"You could tell us about your job. As a lawyer," Danse offered. I was surprised he remembered - I had only mentioned it, and just once. "And about _law_ , too, I suppose." He ran a hand through his hair. "I think you might find we're a bit undereducated on the subject."

I laughed - his awkward attempt at a joke somehow managed to break the tension I had been feeling.

"Alright."

I had thought that talking about my past would be painful, but it turned out that it was just the opposite - I felt relieved that I could share this all with someone. And they wanted to listen. Of course they did - for my friends, my stories about life before the War were like some kind of utopic dreams. Talking about it made us all happier, I noticed. I didn't worry about hiding my feelings anymore. Piper could ask all the questions she wanted, and I always did my best to provide her with the most satisfying answer. Even the usually uptight Danse managed to relax while we talked - he often asked about even the most mundane parts of daily life before the War. At first I had found that surprising - that Piper was most interested in the war itself, but Danse found just regular life the most fascinating - but after some time, I learned to understand my friends better. I began to notice why they did what they did.

At this point, it was becoming a habit of ours - in the evenings, if we had a place to stay, we would set up a campfire and I would tell stories of times long gone. It was our little moment of peace. A fracture of happiness in this world of sadness.

It was good. For all of us, but I was guessing that for me especially. I even found that I could smile while thinking about it. Those memories were no longer painful - I looked at them with a nostalgic joy. It was something good I could recall whenever I wanted.

It still hurt... To know that all those things were gone now. That people like Piper or Danse would never experience that kind of life. But it didn't hurt nearly as much anymore. I managed to find comfort in that hurt.

It wasn't moving on - not yet, at least, not exactly.

But I was certainly on the right path.

"I'm doin' great," I hummed to myself. Dogmeat barked and I couldn't help but smile at him as he walked beside me.

It wasn't even evening yet, but as always late November, the sun was already beginning to set. I idly wondered what winter looked like in the Wasteland. It was coming up anyway, so it would be nice to know what I should be prepared for.

"Hey, Piper. Do you know what snow is?" I asked.

She looked at me as if I were crazy. "What, you _didn't_ have snow back in your time?"

"Okay, so you know. Cool. I've missed snow. That would give this place a sense of normality. Winter, spring... You know, the cycle of seasons. Can't wait for the winter, actually."

"Wait until winter comes until you make that assessment," Paladin Danse stated. "Weather in the Commonwealth can be extremely hazardous. Not only are there radiation storms in this area, regular ones are more dangerous too."

'Radiation storms' didn't sound like anything I would like to be caught up in. I shivered despite the scarf Piper had lent me. It _was_ getting cold, too, and my body temperature didn't make it any easier on me. I had left my jacket (Danse's jacket) in Diamond City, along with most of my supplies, and now I was feeling the consequences of my choices.

"Look, a town," Piper said. I immediately looked up because we had been travelling the plains for the last half an hour or so. A town would be a nice change.

"I'm not certain about this. The place looks like a prison camp."

I and Piper simultaneously looked at Paladin Danse. He took a step back.

"I'm sorry, but it does," he said quietly.

I had to admit that he was right, to some degree. The wall that surrounded the small settlement was the height of a one-storey house and there was razor wire on top, as well as a machinegun turret on every corner.

"Pretty tight security for such a small place," Piper noticed.

"Yeah..." I wrinkled my forehead. "Do you reckon we have the time to check it out?"

"Actually, we should be looking for someplace to spend the night by now anyway," Danse said. "I don't see a problem with trying to spend it at this settlement."

It seemed secure, alright. There was even a single guard by the gate, as I noticed once we walked up to the wall.

"Welcome to Covenant, the friendliest settlement in the Commonwealth!" He said with excitement so fake that I almost cringed. "Feel free to go in inside!"

"You don't make it sound so friendly," Piper noticed. The man shrugged.

"I don't care. I get paid for guarding the gate and saying this crap to people, so that's what I do."

"So... Covenant, huh? Nice name. Biblical." I sighed. "Can you open the gate?"

"Oh, no, not so fast. If you wanna get in, you've gotta pass the test. Everyone's got to take it, it's just a formality."

"What test?" I asked skeptically.

"We call it the SAFE test. It's Covenant's way of keeping out the undesirables. We can only be the friendliest settlement if we only let friendly people in, right?"

"It's been a long, tiring day," Paladin Danse said. "Down on the propaganda."

"Yeah, says who," Piper snorted. "Oh, the Brotherhood of Steel will save you all. The Brotherhood this, the Brotherhood that. We're your only hope," she mocked.

"You'll feel bad about talking like this eventually," he pointed out, offended. "And it's not propaganda. If we want to win the people's hearts and minds, we need to spread word about the Brotherhood across the Commonwealth. I'm doing what I have to do - it's my job."

"Well, you don't need to keep selling _me_ on it," I laughed. "I already joined up."

"Alright, just... Gee, don't argue." Piper put her arms around both of us. "Let's just get this test over with so we can go in and eat something. I don't know about you two, but I am _starving_."

The gatekeeper looked at us, a clipboard with some papers already in his hand.

"So... I take it you're ready to begin?" he asked.

"Yeah," Piper spoke for all of us. "I guess we are. Just get this over with quickly, okay?"

"I'll try to." He smiled. "Now, SAFE is a psychological test - just say the first thing that comes to mind. And don't worry, there are no wrong answers."

I almost wanted to ask what was the point of a test if all answers were correct, but I bit my tongue before I could.

"Question one. You're approached by a frenzied scientist, who yells ' I'm going to put my quantum harmonizer in your photonic resonation chamber!'. What is your response?"

"I would... Um..."

"I wouldn't worry," Danse put a hand on my shoulder, "if he did that, it'd cause a parabolic destabilization of the fission singularity."

The man gaped at him.

"That's actually the 'correct' answer... No one's ever said that before. Wow... I... Wow." He shook his head and just flipped the page. "Okay... Next question. You're working as an intern in the clinic. A patient with a strange infection on his foot stumbles through the door. It's spreading at an alarming rate, but the doctor has stepped out for a while. What do you do?"

"Scream for help?" I guessed.

"Medicate the infected area to the best of my capabilities," Danse stated.

"Inject a few Stimpaks and see if it goes away," Piper added.

"Whoa. You people are one colorful bunch, aren't you? I haven't heard such differing answers from one group in... Well, ever."

Piper rolled her eyes. "Just get on with it. We just wanna go inside."

"Fine. Question three. You discover a young boy lost in a cave. He's hungry and frightened, but also appears to be in possession of stolen property. What do you do?"

"Lead the boy to safety then turn him in to the authorities."

"Comfort the kid and tell him everything will be fine," Piper decided.

The man looked at me.

"Same," I said.

"Alright... Hey, congratulations! You made it onto a baseball team! Which position do you prefer?"

"Pitcher," I answered without a blink of an eye. Obvious one.

"Never played baseball in my life," Piper admitted. I gave her a sympathetic look.

"From the historical records of this game, I'd go with a hitter."

It took me a while to grasp that Paladin Danse had just indirectly informed me that baseball didn't exist anymore. Ouch. That kind of hurt.

"Fine... Question five. Your grandmother invites you to tea, but you're surprised when she gives you a pistol and orders you to kill someone. What do you do?"

I raised an eyebrow - those questions were getting suspiciously weird.

"I'd probably... tell someone in charge what she's planning," I said finally.

"A direct order from someone my senior? I would obey without question." _And there you have Paladin Danse at his finest._

"I don't know... I doubt an interview for the newspaper would work," Piper laughed.

"There are no wrong answers," the man assured her.

"In that case, the interview it is. 'Homicidal grandma orders a child to kill'. Waaaaaay... What a headline." She smiled.

"Fine. Next question. And don't worry, we're getting to the end." He cleared his throat. "Oh, no! You've been exposed to radiation, and a mutated hand has grown out of your stomach! What's the best course of treatment?"

"Dose myself with an anti-mutagen agent, wait and see how the matter proceeds," Danse answered without giving it much thought.

"Same," I decided.

"Same here too," Piper confirmed.

"And hallelujah. You've finally agreed on something. Last question. You decide it would be fun to play a prank on your father. You enter his private restroom when no one is looking, and..."

"Oh! Oh!" Piper laughed. "I know! Change the wattage on his razor - he'd get a shock the next time he shaved!" She giggled. "Oh... That never gets old."

"You passed," the guard decided, then looked at us. "You?"

"I never knew my father," Danse said quietly. "And I suppose there would be no place for any impractical jokes anyway."

"Well, the best prank _I've_ ever played on my dad was changing his shaving cream for whipped cream. The look on his face..." I closed my eyes, lost in the memory. "Priceless."

"You passed. And you, my friend," he turned to the Paladin, "I'm afraid you failed."

"You just said there were no wrong answers," I pointed out.

"I'm sorry, the last question is vital. He didn't exactly fail, but I can't say he's passed the test when he didn't _finish_ it."

"He passed the rest," I said. "Come on, what does it hurt to let us in?" I gave him my most charming smile. I put my hand on his. "Surely you don't think we'll be trouble."

"Well... alright," he said nervously and scratched the back of his neck. "I guess just one question doesn't make a difference when you've all answered with flying colors."

"Thanks!" I smiled at him. "You're _amazing_. I won't forget this."

He walked away to open the gate, blushing a bit. I smirked victoriously.

Danse rolled his eyes. "You can't keep flirting your way in everywhere. It's bound not to work sooner or later."

"Well, not everyone is you, thankfully."

He looked both shocked and scared. "You've tried _me?"_

"Oh yeah," I replied absently. "But you didn't respond well. Besides, seducing higher-ranked officers to get a promotion is apparently a crime."

"You've tried me _to get a promotion_?!"

I hadn't, but I enjoyed seeing him terrified.

"I wanna make Paladin. I wanna be able to decide, to have influence upon the Brotherhood, you know." I tapped my chin. "Huh. Listen, how long did it take you to-"

"Eight years."

I pulled a face. "Well, you're no good."

 _"And_ the gate's open, but if you two soldiers prefer being all soldier, I can't stop you." Piper held up her hands with a laugh.

"Yeah, yeah," the gatekeeper murmured. "Welcome to Covenant and all that shit. Have a nice stay. Or stay forever, it's your choice. We're always ready to accept new citizens."

The first thing I noticed about the settlement of Covenant was, surprisingly, the smell.

If you've never met a homeless person, you will never know that smell. But if you have, you never forget it - that heavy, rank odor that overtakes your whole perception. That smell was omnipresent in the Commonwealth, to the point that I had practically gotten used to it - it was simply everywhere.

Except for here.

"Holy shit," Piper said quietly and I felt inclined to agree. Looking at Covenant was like looking at Sanctuary Hills before the War. Picket fence, detached houses... This small settlement was the closest thing to home I had seen in the last month.

It was hard to believe it had been a month already, too.

"Look at how well-kept this place is," I said as we walked along the only street in the town. The whole 'town' was only five houses, actually. It was easily smaller than Goodneighbor, let alone Diamond City, but the lack of clutter was something so rare in the Wasteland that it was almost breathtaking.

"It's so clean it's almost suspicious. Please tell me I'm not the only one who is feeling threatened." Paladin Danse looked around, clearly uncomfortable - I could see he was tense even through the power armor. Dogmeat whimpered, as if to confirm his words.

I looked around. The people of Covenant seemed friendly enough. Even though the good state of this place was strange, I didn't feel threatened by them in any way.

I walked up to a young woman who was tending to the plants in her garden. Upon a closer inspection, I realized they were some kind of lettuce. So they grew their own food here, too! And the Geiger counter on my Pip-Boy was silent. No radiation here.

"Hi there," I said. The girl looked up at me and quickly stood up, dusting her dungarees. "Hi. My name's Nora, over there are Danse and Piper," I motioned towards my companions, "and we're visiting here. I was wondering if you could talk for a bit."

"Oh," she smiled brightly. "That's great! We haven't had visitors in Covenant for a while..." She frowned for a moment but eventually smiled again. "Anyway! I'm Talia, nice to meet you. If there's anything you'd like to know, feel free to ask! Covenant should be a friendly place for everyone."

"So, um, yeah. Covenant," I said. "How do you manage to keep it this clean?"

Even their plants seemed greener than the ones everywhere else.

"It's all just a lot of hard work and TLC," Talia replied with a laugh.

"No magic trick I could steal from you guys, then?" Piper asked jokingly, joining the conversation once she saw Talia was friendly. "That's a pity."

"Well, we all here at Covenant believe in the 'magic' of community work. Everyone works for everyone, and we share all we have."

"Sounds a bit like communism, then," I noticed.

"And here's a word that triggers negative associations," Danse murmured.

"Oh no, please, no," Talia said. "No negativity here! This should be a good place, free of all that. If you need some place to stay, there's a guest house over there. There should be enough free beds for you to use. And there's a power armor maintenance station too, if your friend might want to keep his somewhere."

"...Thanks," Piper said, surprised. "That means a lot."

We walked away from her. I looked at Piper. She looked at me. Danse tilted his head.

"Well, this place seems..."

"Suspicious. Very suspicious," Piper said. She wrinkled her forehead. "I don't think we should trust these people."

"Weren't you just impressed with all that?" I asked.

"Oh yeah," she deadpanned. "Impressed with how obvious it is that these people are hiding something. Come on. They're _too_ friendly."

I laughed. "Piper, there's no such thing as 'too friendly'. I think it's great that there's a place like this in the Commonwealth. Gives me hope for the future of humanity."

"I have to agree," Paladin Danse nodded. "It _is_ refreshing to see some people with a sense of civility."

She stared at us.

"...Seriously?" She asked. "Neither of you thinks there's something... off about Covenant? I mean, what good is an entrance exam against a bunch of raiders? I can't believe I have to spell it out to you, but this is _weird_."

"Pipes, listen," I laughed, "I mean it in the best way possible, but you have a tendency to be just a tiny bit too paranoid."

"Paranoid? Oh please, when was I ever-?"

"First of all, the mayor of Diamond City is not a synth."

She laughed. "Are we still on that? I'm over this!" She rolled her eyes at my unconvinced glare. "Alright, maybe not. But you'll be sorry when it turns out I'm right."

"Second of all, _I_ am not a synth."

"I never said that!" Piper protested.

"You thought it."

 _"Well."_ She clicked her tongue with a laugh. "But still... This is different. Can't you see there's something off about these people?"

"Yeah," I said, raising my eyebrows. "They're _nice_."

"Alright, but you're incredibly naïve, so you have no say here," she bagatelized. "Danse, a little help here? _You_ have to know what it's like to suspect everyone around."

"Well... I have to admit that this settlement is eerily well-kept and hospitable, but that on its own is not a reason to suspect anything. Maybe it's just a decent place. I think it's about time we stumbled upon a decent place."

"Well, you're no good," she decided. Danse raised his hands.

 _"Why_ does everyone keep saying that?!"

The place Talia called the 'guest house' was more like a motor inn than a house - true to her word, there was a power armor maintenance station in the yard. Danse seemed happy to finally get out of that heavy casing, which I found ironic, taking how he had insisted on taking it.

When we entered the motel (and there was even a reception desk in the hall), there was a middle-aged man talking to the young receptionist. He seemed more serious than the other citizens of Covenant.

"Hi!" Piper said as soon as we entered the room, which effectively killed any conversation between the two of them. "We'd like to rent two rooms."

The man only looked at her for a fraction of a second before turning all his attention towards us.

"Ah, visitors!" He adjusted his tie. "Where are my manners? Welcome to Covenant. My name is Jacob Orden and I run this town."

"The mayor!" Piper clapped her hands. "Great! _Those_ never like me."

I gave her a glare.

"You're in charge of Covenant?" I asked, trying to make a better impression than either of my companions. "I love the town, it's amazing. It must have taken you a lot of work to throw this kind of thing together!"

"Well, I do appreciate the kind comments, young lady."

I hadn't been called 'young lady' for years, and that made me kind of warm inside. This whole place was almost too good to be true.

"Everyone in here is so nice," I added.

"Of course they are." Jacob smiled proudly. "The SAFE test ensures that only good people can walk into Covenant, and we're very restrictive about who gets to live here. It's all part of the process that makes Covenant the great, friendly place it is. A good place to rest if you're tired from wandering the Commonwealth. A good place to get away from your usual life for a few days... A good place to settle down and live in peace, too. So which of those are you?"

Danse stepped forward, standing beside Piper.

"We're just passing through," he said. "One night and we're all gone."

"Two rooms it will be, then. One for the happy couple and another for the charming young lady."

I laughed. "A... W- What couple?" I asked, tilting my head slightly.

He nodded at Danse. "Your brother and his girlfriend, am I right?"

"No, that... That's not... He's not my brother."

"And we are definitely not a couple," Danse added, stepping away from Piper as soon as he understood the situation.

Piper laughed. "Boy, you are _terrible_ at reading people!" She nervously took off her hat. "No offense."

"Are you sure you're not related? Oh. I'm so sorry," the mayor quickly apologized. "It's just that you two look very much alike... Anyway! Two rooms, then - one for the girls and one for this gentleman. Will you take care of it, Penny?"

"Of course," the girl smiled kindly. "Here. These are your keys. You should return them around eleven, unless you're planning to stay for longer than one night."

"We aren't," Paladin Danse said, taking one of them from her. "But thank you for this hospitality. How much do we have to pay?"

"Nothing! You don't pay for the right to sleep in peace."

Even I had to admit that that was all too nice of them.

"I love this place," I said as I unclasped my combat armor and let it fall onto my bed. It felt great to finally spend the night in a place where I didn't have to worry about being shot at in the middle of the night. My Brotherhood of Steel uniform felt almost comfortable now that I didn't have all those other things on me.

Piper nervously bit the tip of her pencil, notebook in hand, as she sat cross-legged on the other bed.

"I hate this place," she said, not even looking up from her notes.

"Really?" I shook my head. "You've gotta let it go!"

"I can't. Something's wrong here, Blue. I know you two think it's fine, but let's be straight here, neither you or Danse are socially educated in any way."

"Thanks." I smiled bitterly.

She didn't even notice my tone, fixated on her notebook. She furrowed her brow and crossed something out.

"Either way, I'm going to go and get some food. They've got a bar here, too. You're completely free to join if my _low social education_ doesn't embarrass you." I glared at her.

Piper shut her notebook closed. "Sound good. It _would_ be nice to eat something that isn't pre-packaged and two hundred years old."

"And still before its 'best before' date," I laughed.

The cafeteria was nice and clean - much like the rest of the town. Danse was talking to some man in a greaser jacket and jeans on the subject of what I guessed was power armor maintenance. Aside from them, there was only one more person in there.

"This really _is_ a small community," I noticed. "I mean, how many people do live here? Fifteen? Not more than twenty, that's for sure."

"Eighteen," Danse said as he walked up to us. "I just talked with the town's mechanic. There are only eighteen people here in order to maintain a familiar and friendly atmosphere for the whole community." He raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps not in those exact words, but that was the gist."

"Do we have to pay this time or is the food free too?" Piper asked bitterly.

"You have to pay."

"Okay," Piper said. "Ooh, brahmin steaks, I'll have one. Whatdya want, Blue?"

I dismissed it with just a wave of my hand. "I'm broke. I'll eat some of those pre-packaged ones, but you two go on ahead."

I looked around the cafeteria as they left me alone by the table. Everything here looked so pre-War it was almost unsettling. I smiled.

 _And this is just like home._

Unsettling? Maybe. Most of all, it was comforting. Yeah. Comforting. I could just about pretend the war had never happened, that everything was still the way it had been...

I stood up from the table the instant I noticed my friends coming in my direction and chatting casually. Even they got along. The world was just perfect.

"I bought one for you too," Danse said, two plates of food in his hands. He gave one to me with that kind smile that had made me fall in love with him in the first place.

"Thanks, Nate," I said, gratefully taking it from him.

Piper's eyes widened.

I understood my mistake in a matter of seconds. The plate fell out of my hand and shattered into pieces on the floor. I opened my mouth, but couldn't find the right words to say.

"Who's Nate?" The soldier asked obliviously. Piper shot him a glare.

It wasn't _him_. Of course it wasn't... I took a step back, trying to get back in touch with reality.

"Nate was her husband..."

I stormed out of the house, feeling completely detached from the world. I was only aware of the fact that I was breathing, and that my feet were moving, but I didn't really care where I went.

I leaned against the back wall of some house and closed my eyes. I needed to focus on the facts. _Piper is not your sister. Danse is not your husband. They died two hundred and ten years ago. You survived, and now you have to go on and live your life. Not mourn over all you've lost._

 _That's not what they would have wanted._

It was all because of this damned Covenant. It looked so much like home... Maybe Piper had been right before. Maybe I _was_ taking it all too personally.

I opened my eyes when I heard footsteps, wondering if it was one of Covenant's citizens or either of my friends. I glanced in that direction and looked away as soon as I noticed the grey uniform of a Brotherhood of Steel officer.

"Don't say anything."

He stopped. "Nora, you have to know I-"

"No, really." I had to raise my eyes and look at him. "I mean it, don't say anything. Cause you'll start talking and you'll just make it worse."

There was a long silence which was so uncomfortable that I regretted ever saying something like that.

"Okay!" I glared at him. "I'm fine. There, you can go now. And tell Piper not to worry. I _will_ be alright."

Danse tilted his head to the side with what had to be the most sympathetic expression anyone could make.

"Of course," he said quietly. "I will."

I had forgotten that this man was suffering from PTSD. He probably knew what I was going through better than anyone. It wasn't fair of me to act like that.

I bit my lip. "And, Danse?"

"Yes?" He looked back over his shoulder.

"Nothing," I said. "Just... nothing."

He nodded without a word and simply walked away, leaving me alone.

That's what I needed, wasn't it? I needed to be alone, to cool down a bit and get back in touch with reality... Oh, who was I kidding?I needed my friends.

I got up to go back to the main street and almost bumped into Piper.

"Nora?" She seemed surprised to see me. "Thank goodness, I was sure you ran off somewhere!"

"I was... close to," I admitted. "But I didn't, cause... It's not right, you know? I don't know why I'm even reacting like this." I breathed out. "This place just looks so much like back home. _So much_ , Piper."

"Yeah, I know. I mean, I can't really say I know what you're going through, but... I'm here if you ever wanna talk." She offered me a shy smile. "Cause I _know_ what it's like, you know, to have all that kinda trouble. To be scared of the real world..."

"Scared? You?" I looked at her, surprised. "Could have fooled me."

Piper rolled her eyes.

"I may be pushy, but I'm not crazy. In the Commonwealth, everyone's gotta be scared. It's just common sense. But these days... I'm more scared for my sister. I don't know what I'd do if something ever happened to her."

"It's hard work," I said. "Looking out for the ones you love."

"No shit!" Piper laughed and I managed to smile. She frowned. "That's why it's so important that people know the truth. Because, how can you protect your loved ones if you don't know what you're facing?"

"That's why you became a journalist," I guessed.

"Well, yeah. Actually, yes." She tilted her head with a small smile. "I go _way_ back. See, Nat and I grew up in this small settlement, the size of this one - just a few shacks and a makeshift wall... You know, like you can find all over the Commonwealth. Um... Our dad..." Piper drifted off into silence while I patiently waited for her to go on. "Our dad was part of the local militia. Keeping 'the raiders off our backs and the mirelurks outta our latrines,' as he'd describe it." She sighed. "Well... One day, our dad turns up dead. And his commander, an _asshole_ called Mayburn, says raiders must've gotten him on watch."

The way tears filled her eyes when she spoke about it was enough for me to know to take her by the hand and help her sit down on the concrete of the sidewalk.

"Either way, I..." Piper breathed out. "I didn't buy it. So I started asking. Looking really into that case. And it turned out... Turned out the captain had just... just sold out. He thought he wasn't getting paid enough to babysit a whole town. He was planning to leave the gates open at night and let raiders sack the place so he'd get some of the profits. Apparently, my dad had found out, but Mayburn got him before he could report that. And I wasn't about to get that bastard get away with murder. I tried talking to the mayor, but he didn't listen."

"Not very popular with men of power, are you?" I asked.

"Can't say I am," she replied, smiling through the tears. "But in my defense, I was just a teenager. Either way, what I did was papering the _entire_ town in hand-written posters which said "Wanted for gross dereliction of duty: Captain Mayburn.' The mayor sure wanted to talk after _that."_ Piper smiled. "We threw Mayburn out on his ass and by the time the very surprised group of raiders arrived, we were all dug-in and prepared."

"Wow, Piper. You must have been a handful as a kid." I let out a breath. "Why're you telling me all this?"

"Because, Blue, because I've seen what good the truth can do to people. Knowing the truth and not being afraid of it. _And_ because over the years, I've learned to trust my gut about this kind of thing. And Covenant? Hiding something."

I looked down.

"If you really think so... But I like this place. It's really peaceful here."

Piper stood up.

"Well, I didn't expect you to agree right away, but you could've at least said you're with me on this."

"I'm sorry, Pipes. About everything. About your dad, and that you had to raise Nat on your own, and that people at Diamond City don't want to hear the truth when you say it... and that I don't believe you right now." I sighed. "I just don't think it's fair to accuse somebody like that."

"Sure," Piper said quietly. She nodded. "Sure."

I looked up. There were some heavy, dark clouds on the sky and the sun was just setting.

"Come on, Blue." She offered me a hand and helped me up. "Better or worse, we're leaving this place in the morning. We'd better head back to the motel now if we wanna get a good night's rest."

oooOOO***OOOooo

What woke me up wasn't the alarm of my Pip-Boy or even one of my friends. It was the sound of rain hitting the roof.

November rain. This could take days.

I jumped out of bed, quickly threw my uniform on, spent a long moment on looking for my eyeglasses, put them on, and ran outside of the building.

For the whole month I had been in the Commonwealth, it had only rained a few times, and it had never been like now. _Everything_ was wet, from ground to rooftops. Covenant didn't look so bright and sunny anymore - in fact, the main street was practically a river now.

"No, no, _no_. You don't fully understand. I need this under roof!"

I turned my attention to the right, where Paladin Danse was trying to reason with the mechanic.

"Because I've had this suit rusted out the last time I got caught up in rain like this, and I do not want to scrape off rust again!"

I giggled at that - the idea of him having his power armor all rusted out was somehow extremely funny to me. Danse noticed me then, a red flush on his cheeks.

"Ah... Knight." He addressed me with my rank, which only showed how embarrassed he was. "Um... Not quite a nice day."

"No, sir. Not at all." I couldn't help smiling. His black hair was all damp and sticking to his forehead, which kind of took away that aura of seriousness he usually had.

"Well..." He massaged the back of his neck. "I suppose we'll be staying here until it clears out."

"Yes, sir. Have you... Have you seen Piper, by any chance?"

"Actually, I thought she was with you."

"Well, she's not." I glanced up at the sky. "Stupid rain."

I took a run to the cafeteria to see if Piper was there, but the only people I could see were the salesgirl Penny, Mayor Orden and some man I hadn't seen before. I didn't want to come off as rude, so I ordered a plate of scrambled eggs and sat down to eat.

I looked out the window at the grey, dark sky outside. The warm food made me feel slightly better, but not enough. Thankfully, the electricity here seemed to work good enough at least.

"May I join you?" The mayor asked.

"Of course," I said. "It's your town, after all."

He laughed good-heartedly.

"That it is, that it is." He frowned. "I know it's not my place to pry, but are you sure you're alright? You didn't look very good yesterday."

I gripped the fork harder. "I'm completely fine."

"If you say so. We just... we don't want any kind of strange disturbances here in Covenant. That's why there's all that caution - the test, the guards... You understand."

"Yeah, the test..." I remembered my yesterday conversation with Piper. "Can I ask what that's about? Those questions were pretty bizarre."

"SAFE is a psychological test. It ensures that people who enter Covenant are simply... who they claim to be, if you know what I mean." I really didn't. "Only good folks can pass it, that's why everyone you meet here is friendly and supportive. Like you or me." His eyes darkened. "I _would_ keep an eye on young Dan, though. He's been asking about uncomfortable things lately... It's just a warning for you to stay clear of him."

I looked at him.

"Thanks," I said, staring at my food. "I'll remember that."

I quickly finished eating, told Penny that Danse would pay for me (because honestly, I didn't have any money) and headed back to the motor inn. I decided to make the best of this - to call it what it was - day off duty, so I fished the Wasteland Survival Guide out of my backpack and lay down to read.

I actually didn't mind spending the whole day like that, reading in the comfort and warmth of a bed while the rain pounded on the roof. It was nice and familiar, like doing research in college.

I only slipped out of my room once, and that was during dinnertime to get some food.

"Oh, and if you're at it already," Penny told me, "here." She handed me another plate of food. "On the house. Could you... give this to your friend? He didn't come out of his room much today."

"Danse?" I asked. "I mean, sure, I'll go talk to him... And thanks."

She smiled widely. "No problem!"

Everyone here was so nice. I really didn't know what Piper was on about - Covenant was an amazing place.

I ran back to the motel, trying not to get too wet and failing miserably. I stopped by the door to Danse's room and knocked gently.

"It's Nora," I called out. "Permission to come inside, sir?"

He unlocked the door and I glanced inside. There were several parts of power armor scattered on the table and his hands were stained with grease. So I wasn't the only one making good use of free time.

"I brought you some food," I said. "If you're interested, that is."

"That's very kind of you, soldier. Thank you."

He laid the plate on the table and sat down, completely ignoring it.

"Are you sure you're alright, sir?" I asked.

Danse glanced up at me before looking back at the power armor helmet he was holding on his lap. He shook his head.

"Permission to speak freely?" He asked and for a moment I was so surprised that I completely lost my speech.

"Yes, sir." I finally managed to choke out. "By- By all means... Do."

"I've been... This has been on my mind for a while, but coming here... And your problems too... You're obviously going through a lot at the moment, and yet you're still looking out for the rest of us... I find that very inspiring, personally. I was just wondering..." He winced. "I just..."

"Is there something you want to tell me?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Because you've really got a way of rounding it."

Paladin Danse frowned.

"Am I that obvious?" He sighed. "I'm sorry. I've... never been good at these things."

"These things?" I squeaked, my voice at least an octave higher than usually. "Things like what?"

"I know it's not the best moment to ask something like that... That it might seem somehow out of context to you, but tell me... What do you think about Scribe Haylen?"

I stiffened my muscles. He had to have a reason to be asking about that, and that worried me. I didn't know what to say. Was she in trouble? I didn't want Haylen to have problems with her commanding officer, so I didn't know if I should even say anything.

"Haylen?" I repeated hesitantly. "I don't think I know her well enough to give you a military evaluation, sir."

"That's a pity," he said. "Perhaps you should spend more time working with her, then. She's a model soldier. But..." Danse nervously drummed his fingers on the power armor helmet he was holding. "I wasn't looking for an evaluation of her performance as a Scribe. I wanted to know what you think of Haylen... as a person."

At this point I wasn't sure how to approach this. I knew that Haylen was over her head for the Paladin, but I never once considered that _he_ might like her back. And now... Asking me what I thought of her 'as a person'...? Oh my God. He wanted to propose to her.

I had told her to go with Rhys. Had I been wrong all this time?

"Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Permission granted, Knight. After all, I was the one who asked."

"It's not like you to talk about her 'as a person'."

"No, it's not..." He fidgeted nervously. "The truth is, I'm worried about her. I thought that maybe since you and I seem to be getting along so well, I could ask you for advice."

No mention of love. I was really an idiot, because Danse wasn't the kind of person who would just fall in love like that, much less actually act on it. No. This had to be something serious. Haylen had to be in trouble or... Or... I didn't know.

The fact that someone - anyone - would think I was an appropriate person to ask for advice made me feel completely baffled. What, didn't he have anyone else... Did he really think I was the best person to ask? It obviously wasn't just the fact that we worked together - if he had wanted a best opinion, he could have asked anyone on the Prydwen.

Yet still, he chose to have that conversation with _me_.

"What's wrong?" I asked, a bit confused. "Is- Is she in danger?"

"Not exactly... It's complicated." Danse put his helmet aside and sat on the counter. I jumped up and took the place beside him. My feet weren't even touching the floor.

"Start at the beginning," I encouraged him with a kind smile. _"Especially_ if it's complicated."

"The beginning... I suppose the beginning would be a few weeks before we met you. It's... The entire mission had been a disaster from the very beginning. I was losing people as time went on. We started out as a team of eight - seven soldiers under my command. I did make mistakes, but at the time we all did, so I didn't pay it much mind even when someone died. Until... Only a few days before we met you, we were retreating from a complicated combat situation and..." Danse closed his eyes. "Knight Worwick stepped on a landmine. He was lucky enough to survive it, so we took him with us despite the seriousness of his injuries. Haylen, the model medic, stayed by his side day and night. She did her best to revive him, but... He was on slow demise."

I looked down. "I understand," I said quietly.

"So did I... Everyone did, except for Haylen. She fought for his life restlessly, without a moment's consideration for her own well-being. But you're partially right - it wasn't possible to save him. It was my duty as the commander... I ordered her to inject an anesthetic into his veins so that he could at least die with dignity."

 _Oh._ I understood now. _That_ was why he was worried about her.

"She didn't do it," I guessed. Danse raised his eyebrows.

"Oh no. She did. Haylen's never been insubordinate. But... that's not the point." He seemed more uncomfortable now. "The point is what happened later that day. It was late evening, the sun had already set... Haylen approached me while I was on watch. She didn't say a word, but I could sense something was wrong. After what felt like an eternity, she collapsed into my arms, crying." Danse bit his lip and looked at the floor. "I... didn't know what to do, so I... just held her for a while. We stayed like that for a moment until she just said 'thank you', kissed me on the cheek, and walked away."

"Sounds like you were there for her when she needed someone," I said. "What's wrong with that?"

"No, you don't understand, Nora. That moment, that kiss on the cheek... Haylen _never_ acted like that. That was when it hit me. Maybe I had pushed her too hard. I had told her to do something her medical training told her was wrong, to ignore her instinct. _That's_ why I'm worried about her. And, for that matter, everyone under my command."

He hung his head.

"This isn't really about _Haylen,_ is it," I stated matter-of-factly.

"No... I suppose not." Danse looked at me. "She's never been the problem. The problem has always been _me_. Look, four soldiers... Four _people_... Over half of my team, they're just gone. Each one of them died because of the decisions that I made." His tone wasn't sad anymore - he sounded angry more than anything. "I understand the risks that come with the job - we all do. But how can _anyone_ have confidence in me anymore?" He wrinkled his nose. "Hell, how can I have confidence in myself?!"

I couldn't just look at him torturing himself like that. I couldn't stand the sight of him miserable.

 _"I_ have confidence in you," I offered with a smile. "You're the best officer I've ever served under!"

"Nora, you and I both know I'm the _only_ officer you've served under."

"Oh well," I laughed. He didn't laugh back. I cleared my throat. "Listen, um... I don't know if it will help in any way, but... Nate always said that the measure of a soldier is a measure of his regrets combined. That being in the army is only for those who can bear with handling a loss, and those who aren't afraid of taking responsibility for their actions, for their mistakes..." I paused. "You fit into that description, Danse. I don't know if that means anything to you, but... I just wanted to tell you that, completely personally... I don't think you're a bad person."

"You don't?" He asked, surprised. "Even knowing everything I've just said?"

"No. I think... I think you're trying, and that's what matters. You're fighting for what you believe in, and... I've talked to the other soldiers at the Prydwen, and you're actually inspiring others to fight." I lowered my voice. "No one thinks any less of you because you made a mistake. Soldiers die. That's what war is about. And if you're still blaming yourself, just stop."

I jumped down onto the ground.

"Well, that's all I can tell you." I gave him a sad smile. "You know, I... I'm really glad we had this conversation."

"It's... Yes, thank you." He nervously massaged the back of his neck. "You have no idea how much it meant to me. It's comforting to know that I can speak to you as... more than just your commanding officer."

I gave him one, slow kiss on the cheek.

"Thank _you_ ," I whispered. "And I'll always, _always_ be there for you." I closed my eyes. "Promise."

Because without my friends, who was I? I needed them much more than they thought they needed me.

I left the room in silence, carefully closing the door behind me.

I glanced at my Pip-Boy. It was late afternoon and the rain still didn't look like it was about to go away. I didn't like it - who knew how long would this go on? At least it wasn't a thunderstorm.

"And look who's back," I said upon noticing Piper in our room. "Where've you been all day?"

She shrugged. "All over the place. Here and there... Talking to people, asking questions... You know me."

"Yes, unfortunately, I do," I laughed. "Listen, I think I'm just gonna go to sleep. It's late anyway."

"Not much to do in the _perfect_ Covenant, is there?"

"Well, actually, yeah. Not so much."

I turned off the lights, messed with my Pip-Boy a bit to set the alarm to wake me in the morning and put it on the night table.

We lay in silence for a while.

"I talked to this Dan guy."

I sat up on my bed. "Piper!" I exclaimed in a low voice.

"What?!" She whispered back. She looked around, got out of her bed and sat on mine. "This is _huge_. Dan's a mercenary who was hired to guard this caravan, right? So, turns out he couldn't. Because the caravan got attacked and everyone is dead now - and they got hit surprisingly close to Covenant, too!"

I sighed. "Piper..."

"No, no." She grabbed my hands. "You don't understand, Nora. This isn't me chasing a story, there's _really_ something going on here. I know you want it to be all nice and friendly, but ding-ding. Commonwealth rules - no such thing."

"Okay, fine. Give me one good reason why I should even _let_ you continue."

"First of all, you're not the boss of me. So you can't do anything." Piper smirked. "Second of all, I went down there to the crime scene and I've got a solid lead." She pushed a bottlecap into my hand. "Deezer's lemonade. Sold only in Covenant. The caravan had passed through here - although all the people say they know nothing about it." She looked me straight in the eyes. "They're _hiding_ something. And I am getting to the bottom of this, with or without you."

I bit my lip. "Danse is _not_ gonna like this."

"So you're in?"

"Hell yeah I'm in. This mercenary guy, how much did he offer?"

It was her turn to stare at me in disbelief. "Money? You're in it for the money?"

I fidgeted. "As much as I hate to admit it, I'm entirely dependent on Paladin Danse at the moment, and he does _not_ pay me enough. Besides, he won't even _let_ me buy drugs and alcohol!"

"Yeah, because that's the real problem. That you can't get wasted." Piper rolled her eyes.

"That's not the point. I just wanna be more or less independent, I'd just feel more secure. So how much did he offer you?"

"He said three hundred bottlecaps. But there's a chance someone from the caravan survived - in that case, the price goes up."

"Three hundred, huh? Count me in." I hadn't even _seen_ that much money at the same time.

"Alright. I have a plan, I'll tell you in the morning." She smiled. "Or might as well now. Night is, after all, the time of plotters."

"Piper, I don't think using the word 'plotters' is going to encourage me to take part in this."

"Shh," she silenced me. "Look, the whole thing is connected, this is a big web of _lies_. We're striking at Jacob Orden, he has to know the most."

"Great. Because _that's_ going to help us maintain friendly relations with those people," I muttered.

"Yeah, I get that sarcasm is great, Blue, but _please_ spare my plan." Piper cleared her throat. "Either way, we don't have to kill him or anything. All we need is to break into his office. I was there and he has some highly-encrypted files on his terminal."

"You were there already," I said flatly. "Somehow, that does _not_ surprise me."

"Whatever. And it won't do you any bad to talk to Dan too. He's not as creepily hospitable and kind as these folks."

I pushed her off my bed.

"Good _night_ , Piper. Please let me sleep."

"Okay, but you're with me tomorrow?"

I yawned and quickly covered my mouth. "Yeah. Sure."

"Great!" She grinned. "Night, Blue."

oooOOO***OOOooo

I didn't know if it was more surprising or tiring that it was still raining the next day.

Piper dragged me out of my bed at a time that I was _not_ comfortable with and insisted that we go meet with Dan right away. I didn't feel very motivated to haul any big investigation in this weather, but when Piper Wright was set on something, she usually got what she wanted.

"Okay," she whispered to me, nodding at a long-haired man who was standing in the corner of the common room. "Here's Danny. You're gonna walk up to him and ask all about Covenant, but don't say you're with me."

"You think he's involved too?" I asked, a bit surprised at that.

"Oh no. He's clean. I just don't think he's telling me everything." She pushed me in the man's direction. "Now go. Go."

She practically shoved me at him. I gave her an angry glare, but decided to play along.

"Hi there," I said. "Terrible weather, huh?"

He looked around, as if surprised I was speaking to him.

"Yeah... Pretty bad. Now I'm stuck here, with all those sunny smiles and the flawless picket fence and colorful houses..." He looked at me. "You don't live here."

"Nope," I said with a smile. "The name's Laura. I'm kind of new around these parts... What's with the entrance test?"

"Damn if I know." He put away the cup of coffee he had been drinking. I glanced at it longingly - I was still sluggish and sleepy. "Listen, I don't know if you've figured this out, but there's something off about this town. And I don't even mean the usual."

"The usual?" I repeated.

"Shit. I mean... Damn. Listen, not everyone in the Commonwealth is human, you know? Some of them are... You know, _synths_."

I decided to play idiot.

"What's a synth?"

He blinked.

"Wow, you must be new here. Everyone is the Commonwealth knows... Look, synths are synthetic people, made by the Institute. Machines so damn advanced they could easily pass as human. And they often do, cause there's like no way to tell them apart from us. Everyone knows about synths, and everyone's afraid of them." He narrowed his brows. "But... Come to think of it, ever since I came here, no one's said a word about them. That's weird."

"So what's this Institute?"

If I was already an idiot, I could ask away about everything.

"Ask three different people and you'll get three different answers to that. Wildly different. Some people believe the Institute's behind every single ill in the Commonwealth. Your sister disappears? The Institute. Your brahmin runs off? The Institute. Settlement murdered in the night? The Institute. No one has any proof for any of that, of course." He wriggled uncomfortably. "But synths are real enough. Whatever reason, the Institute's infiltrating us - and I doubt they're doing it for our good."

"Oh. So you think synths are behind the disappearance of the caravan you were guarding?"

"No... The people of Covenant know, but no one says a word. I think there's something ugly going on here, and I'll be damned if I can't expose it."

Oh, he was _so_ like Piper. It was no wonder the two of them got along.

"Alright, he doesn't know anything," I reported to her. "I think it's time for phase two of your plan."

"Great. I'll find the mayor and distract him while you break in. Here. Take a few bobby pins and let's hope what I've taught you is enough."

We walked outside and I was met with the first remotely pleasant surprise of the day - it had stopped raining while we had been inside.

"We're meeting here. If anything goes wrong, shout."

I nodded. "Right. And, Piper..."

"Yeah?"

"I really hope you're right this time. I wouldn't wanna destroy our relations with these nice people just because you said so."

I ran to the house Piper had shown me as the mayor's office. I took a quick look around, but the only people I could see were Talia and Piper, deep in conversation. I knelt down, took out my lockpicking set, and got to work.

That was one of the easiest locks I'd ever had to pick - it gave in after just several seconds of meddling. I quickly slipped inside and locked myself inside, just in case.

I logged in to the terminal on Jacob's desk, but, true to Piper's word, there were some encrypted text files on it.

"Why would you wanna hide something so badly?" I whispered.

I looked around the house. One-storey, so not much to hide. Like in most houses in the Commonwealth, there was only one room. Where would I hide the password to my computer? I found it unlikely that he didn't have any backup. Under the doormat? I checked, and no. All the drawers? Checked. No.

I started nervously glancing at the door from time to time. I was taking way too long with this.

I finally found the piece of paper with the password on it - it was hidden under the pillow on Jacob's bed. The password was 'compound'.

I quickly typed it into the terminal and opened the newest file I could find.

 _Penny Fitzgerald has aborted five Compound runs due to fisherman (name unknown) who has stationed himself at the Mystic Pines' Pond. Ms. Fitzgerald reports his new "favorite fishing hole" is directly on top of the Compound entrance. The caravan retrieval team was almost spotted by the outsider. I ordered the fisherman to be dealt with. For further notice, I recommend_

It ended like that, and I realized it was an unfinished report. I reread the whole thing three times, making sure I remembered as much as I could, then I quickly shut off the terminal and left the house through a window.

"Holy shit, Blue! You alright?" Piper looked around before giving me a quick hug. "You look terrible!"

"Piper, you were completely right." I was almost out of breath after running all the way to the motor inn to get her. "There's something definitely bad going on here, and they've already killed a man to hide it! We need to get _out_ of here, now. I'm getting Danse, you'll tell Dan."

"Righty-o," she said, overwhelmed. "I don't like this."

I pursed my lips and ran into the motel. Persuading Paladin Danse to leave? Not as hard as I'd thought it would be. He actually agreed in a fraction of a second, and soon we were all ready to go. Piper must have briefed Dan on the fact how we knew about his missing caravan, because he was down to business when we met again.

"Where to?" He asked simply.

"Mystic Pines' Pond," I replied. "It's that little lake I saw on the way here, right? There's something called 'the Compound' there, and I bet my life it's not something good."

"Inside the pond?" Dan asked doubtfully.

"Or maybe inside that big sewage pipe over there." Piper pointed with a finger. "Jackpot."

"Now, remember," Danse took over the initiative surprisingly quickly for someone who had only just found out about the initiative, "we don't know what we're dealing with. There might be civilians down there, but be prepared to face several hostile-"

"Spare me the fancy military talk," Dan growled. "I just want my money."

"He actually talks like that," Piper said with a small smile. It fell immediately. "Let's go."

The sewage pipe was easily bigger than a grown man - even Danse with his power armor managed to fit. It smelled terrible, but it wasn't important when I contrasted it with the several guns we had pointed at us the moment we walked into the sewers.

"What the-!" One of the men - the _guards_ \- exclaimed.

We stopped. I raised my arms over my head and Piper spread out hers to show she was unarmed.

"Who the hell are you and how do you know about the Compound?"

Another man, this one more important-looking, patted him on the shoulder. "We should let them go in."

"Hold on, you're not saying you're going to just let them all in?" One of the guards exclaimed. "That's four heavily armed people! We can't let them walk inside the Compound as if nothing can happen."

"You're right, that's four heavily armed people. That's why negotiation is better than fighting them. But..." The chief guard hesitated. He looked at me, then at Dan. "Okay, here's the deal. I'm not letting you in without some... insurance, you get me?"

I narrowed my brows.

"And what the hell's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.

He spread out his arms.

"Simple matter, lady. One of you stays here with my guards. To ensure the rest of you behaves."

"And how can we know you won't just kill that person?" Danse asked. Just like Dan, he hadn't lowered his gun. I wanted to hit them both - they were making us all look unfriendly. "Doesn't seem so safe to me."

"Well, yeah. He's kind of right," Piper added. "We don't have any insurance here. This doesn't seem like-"

"Fine," I decided. "One of us can volunteer to stay if you're so insistent."

"Just don't count me in," Dan argued. "I'm not with them. I get to go in anyway."

"Great that we can get along." He clapped his hands together. "Which of you is in charge?"

The three of us exchanged glances. In charge? That was a concept I barely even thought about...

"I think that would be me," Danse finally volunteered.

"You're staying, then... Curious." The man eyed him carefully. "Soldier?"

"Designated officer," my friend admitted reluctantly. "Small unit commandment."

"Splendid. He will do for good insurance." The guard turned to us with a stern expression. "Try anything fancy and Skip here feels the consequences. You feel me?"

"Dammit," Piper growled. "You just _try_ to hurt him and-"

"Hold on..." The chief guard yanked her by the arm and turned her face to the light. "Holy shit, it's her! That reporter from Diamond City!"

Piper shook him off angrily and wiped her clothes.

"She's the one who's been all nosy, asking questions around town. There's no way we're letting _her_ walk into the Compound."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Whatever. Let Dansey boy go instead of me. I'll just wait."

"Oh no no. Neither of them goes!"

"I can't go alone," I protested.

"I'll come with you," Dan said. "We're almost at the bottom of this, come on."

"You're right." Paladin Danse glared at him. "But if one hair drops from her head, you're a dead man. This woman is under my protection."

"I'm right here," I said, but I had to admit his words made me feel all warm inside. "You guys will be fine?"

"Just go," Piper said. "Worry about yourself for now."

I nodded and let the chief guard lead me and Dan deeper into the sewers. The whole place was much cleaner than I had expected it to be, and it was clear those people had been there for a long time already.

"You're going to meet Doctor Chambers now," the chief guard said. "She will explain everything."

He left us like that. Me and Dan exchanged glances.

Doctor Chambers was a thin, middle-aged woman wearing a blood-stained lab coat and welding goggles. I immediately decided that she wasn't a doctor I would want to cure me.

"So you're the ones who caused all this trouble. You've come quite a way to get here. Any questions?"

We were dumbstruck by this open, upfront attitude.

"What... What is Covenant?" I asked eventually. "It's more than just a town."

"It's just a town. It's a place for all the good people of this world to finally settle down in peace." She closed her eyes. "We at Covenant... Every one of us suffered at the hands of the Institute and their synths at some point. Some of us lost our loved ones. Many more had them replaced with hostile duplicates. Covenant was made for people like us to find sanctuary."

"Then what is SAFE?" I asked.

"It tests the subject's preconscious empathetic reflexes and childhood memories that are usually absent from synthetic people. Is that enough?"

"It's a test to weed out synths?" Dan questioned. "I don't think it's good if you've got someone from my caravan here!"

"The girl didn't pass. She's being interrogated now, but we believe she's a synth."

"Just because she didn't pass some test?" I stared at her. "That's absurd!"

"One out of five people doesn't qualify anyway, it's just statistical error. Technically speaking, someone from your group should have failed."

"No shit!" I exclaimed. "That's exactly what I'm talking about! I mean, my friend had a really lousy childhood, alright?! His parents abandoned him as a toddler! So what, does that mean he's a synth?!"

"Hold on. One of you didn't pass the test and was let in?"

I shut my mouth quickly.

"...No?" I said quietly. I shook my head. "Oh, whatever! It doesn't matter! What matters is that you kill one out of five people who take your test!" I gritted my teeth, just barely restraining myself from killing her then and there. "And how many of those people were actually synths?!"

"The SAFE test is at peak efficiency. Correct in 36% of cases."

"That's less than half!" I screamed. I pulled at my hair. "Every one out of five people fails the test and you kill them all but two out of three people you kill are real humans?!" I narrowed my eyes. "You would have killed Danse!"

Somehow, this personal approach, this threat of losing someone I knew, made the whole thing much more serious.

"What do I do now?" I asked quietly.

"I have a proposal for you. Walk away from here in peace. Just forget this ever happened, forget about what you saw here, and we will part on friendly terms. Of course, you may disagree, but that's not a wise choice in your position."

I instinctively turned to Paladin Danse for my orders... And realized that I didn't have anyone by my side. No one to tell me what to do. No one to as much as _advise_ me what to do.

I shook my head at myself. _Suck it up, Nora. You can make your own decision now and then._ After all, I couldn't rely on Danse to solve my problems all the time. Especially since I knew that if he were there with me, he wouldn't have chosen what I was about to choose.

"I will walk out of here in peace," I said aloud, trying to sound as convincing as it was possible. "But you will let the girl go." I hesitated, then added "Please."

"It's either her or us," the doctor said sternly. "No, I will _not_ let her go. This is the whole of Covenant against your word. Do you understand what I'm saying? Even if you don't just get killed immediately, even if your friends back there somehow survive - or if you decide to sacrifice their lives for this one stranger... Would you really slaughter a whole town for the sake of one person? Especially if you don't know if she's even human?"

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I had forgotten that all the while we were talking, the guards at the door had my friends. The Compound knew what they were doing, and they knew that now that they had a bargaining chip, they had me on the string. I simply had to do what they said.

I clenched my fists until I felt physical pain from my nails cutting into my skin.

"Dammit," I whispered.

"Oh, come on!" Dan grabbed my shoulder and turned me around so that I was facing him. "You can't be considering that offer! I'm talking about real money! More than they can ever offer you."

Those were the words that broke my indecency tolerance barrier.

" _That's_ what you care about?!" I exclaimed. "Money?! Not the fact that they've been torturing people for God knows how long?!" I pushed him away from me. "Get _lost_."

He looked at me, then at Doctor Chambers, before turning tail and running back through the tunnel we had used to get there.

"Well?" The doctor clearly expected an answer from me. "Have you finished contemplating this moral issue?"

"You haven't given me much place for contemplation, have you?"I replied bitterly, staring at the ground. I let out a shaky breath and tried to control the trembling of my hands. I couldn't let this boiling anger get the better of me this time. I just couldn't. The stake was too high. "Release my friends."

oooOOO***OOOooo

"So, uh, Blue... You've been, um... awfully quiet." Piper laughed nervously. "Any chance you'll tell us what was down there?"

I felt my eyes widen and quickly looked down at my shoes.

"No," I replied quietly. "I'm... Not ready to talk about that yet."

"But-" She began to protest, but stopped when Danse put a hand on her shoulder and directed her away from me.

"Come on. We should leave her alone."

I was eternally grateful to him at that moment, and I just hoped that he knew it. I really needed some time to think about the events of that day. When they finally walked away, I sighed heavily.

I knew I hadn't had a choice.

But I still felt that there had been something else I could have done. Because now that I knew there was a place in the Commonwealth where they tortured people on the basis of some stupid test that didn't even work in the first place. I knew that they had killed that girl - and God only knew how many other people in the past few years. I knew that they would likely do so again.

I also knew that I would have to live with that knowledge from now on.

I knew I couldn't hold myself responsible for all those deaths, but I also felt that I was now partially responsible for all the ones that would occur in the future. Because I couldn't - and _wouldn't_ \- tell anyone about the Compound. Danse would have just gone to the Brotherhood commandment - technically, what I should have done as well. But it wouldn't end well for the people of Covenant. And Piper... I mentally shuddered at the thought of everyone in Diamond City learning the truth.

No. I couldn't tell my friends.

I couldn't - _wouldn't_ \- handle it.

I glanced back at Piper, Danse and Dogmeat. None of them were looking at me. And maybe that was for the best.

I set off running.

 **Level up.**


	17. Between Fire and Flood, Part 1

**Chapter Sixteen  
Between Fire and Flood, Part 1  
**

* * *

In all honesty, the last time I had been to Goodneighbor, I hadn't realized that they had such a decent bar there.

The place was called The Third Rail and was built inside an old subway station. They had a live jazz music show and climatic lighting... It really had style. Then again, the whole town did.

"Hey, Charlie," I called out to the bartender robot. "Give me another round of that."

"Coming right on, lass."

"Thanks." I took the cold bottle into my hands and took a swig. Alcohol wasn't that bad if all you wanted was to forget about your problems.

And thankfully, that was exactly what I wanted.

I had made such a mess in Covenant. Now that I could look back on it, I realized I had made the wrong choice. And what did I do to fix it? I ran away. The easy way out? Probably, but I was fine with that.

I wasn't a good person, after all. I knew Piper thought I was gonna uncover the Institute somehow or something else, but she was wrong. I wasn't the hero she saw in me. I wasn't even the soldier Danse wanted me to be. I wouldn't probably _ever_ be any of those things. Sure, I could try, but... Only try.

I felt Charlie poke me on the shoulder.

"Don't bother, but MacCready over there wanted to talk to you."

Surprised, I looked up at the young man who had just sat down next to me. He was around Piper's age, maybe a bit older. Fair hair, goatee, a really swell duster coat... I didn't _know_ the guy.

"...Hi. This seat taken?" He asked.

"Only if you take it," I replied.

"Great." He threw several caps on the counter. "Next round's on me."

This practically screamed 'trouble' but who was I to refuse a free drink?

"Do I know you?" I asked as casually as it was possible.

"I don't think so."

I narrowed my brows. "Then what do you want with me?"

He seemed startled by that. "Nothing! I just... You looked pretty heartbroken back there."

"Well, yeah." I laughed bitterly. "I kinda am."

"Also, alone." MacCready looked away. "It's probably not my place to say this, but it's a dangerous world out there. Especially if you're alone."

"No shit." I clenched my fist on the glass.

Something at the back of my head told me that with how much I had drunk already, I shouldn't feel this clear-headed, but I didn't pay it much mind. Probably another stupid side effect of Vault-Tec's cryo experiments - I couldn't get drunk. They had taken away even that.

"Really... Don't you have anyone? At all?" The strangest thing was that he sounded actually concerned. This complete stranger was concerned about me. It was a strange, pleasant feeling. "Your uniform... The Brotherhood of Steel don't usually do solo missions. Where's the rest of your team?"

"Yeah, well, my partner is... somewhere out there." I waved a hand around. "I kinda made a run on him."

"You really shouldn't have. The Commonwealth's... really not a safe place to travel if you're alone."

I looked at him.

"Why do you care so much?" I asked.

"Because I could help you. Really. That's what I do. People pay me for... Uh, providing protection and companionship."

I laughed at the roundabout way he decided to describe what it.

"So. You're that mercenary I've heard so much about," I said, absently toying with the half-empty shot glass.

"You've heard about me?" He asked with what seemed like hope. "What exactly?"

"Not a single word," I stated truthfully.

"Oh."

"Don't beat yourself up, kid." There couldn't be more than three years' age difference between us, but I decided to ignore that. "I'm not really often around these parts. Goodneighbor... This town doesn't really speak to me."

"Anyway... I'm just saying - three hundred caps and I'm all yours. I just got out of a contract and-"

I raised a hand. "Seriously, just stop trying. Even if I had that kind of money, why would I want to hire someone to travel with me when I've already got people who do that for free?"

MacCready clicked his tongue. "Can these people shoot off the head of a mole rat from a distance of a hundred meters?"

"...No?" I guessed.

"There you have it - and I can. I'm a sniper. Not to boast, but I'm pretty dam- uh, _darn_ good." He smiled at me. "Just something to consider."

I laughed out loud. He raised an eyebrow, but with how many drinks I had had already, it wasn't very weird for me to overact. Or at least, that was my explanation. In reality, I was just emotionally a mess.

"I'm sorry, but you really think that I would hire you!" I shook my head. "Sorry, kid, but I have literally no money. Look, eleven bottlecaps. I spent the other fifty on alcohol."

He shrugged. "Well, just don't get killed out there. If you ever change your mind... You know where to find me."

I stood up, pushing the bar chair away from the counter. "Yeah."

I walked out of the bar without saying another word to anyone.

"I don't have any money," I complained aloud. Not that I felt like I needed to hire a mercenary, but that conversation had just made me realize that I was broke. Of course, Danse paid for me all the time as our whole mission was sponsored by the Brotherhood, but aside from the little pocket money (to call it what it was) he gave me, I had no capital at all. I couldn't buy myself _anything!_

I needed to make money. Huh. What could I possibly sell? I guess I didn't _need_ all those different rifles, but I doubted simple weaponry like that was valuable in the Wasteland. So far I had seen that everyone had at least one gun.

My hand immediately went to the wedding ring on my left ring finger. That had to be worth a lot.

But there was no way in hell I was selling that - it was the only thing I had left from my old life. I doubted there would ever be a situation in which I would need money badly enough to part with it.

No, then. I wouldn't make money like that. I needed a _job_.

"Hey there." I smiled at a ghoul who was standing next to me, even though all I wanted was to run away. "D'you know where I can find some work around here?"

The ghoul shook me off.

"The mayor's been asking for some recon, but no one wants to take that. That's all I know. Good day to you."

He walked away, clearly not wanting to maintain contact with me, but he had at least given me what I had wanted. The mayor's office in Goodneighbor was... in the Old State House, of course. Where else?

It soon turned out that my hopes of quickly getting an easy job were in vain, because I couldn't even _speak_ to Mayor Hancock unannounced. Tight security for a town so seemingly anarchistic.

Hancock's personal bodyguard, a tough-looking woman called Fahrenheit, _kindly_ pointed me the way, all the while looking at me in a way that suggested she was contemplating several different ways to kill me.

She knocked on the closed door to the lounge.

"I've got a Knight Nora from the Brotherhood of Steel here," she called out. "What do I do?"

Some rummage could be heard from inside.

"I don't know, just tell them this town is a racism-free zone or something. Oh! Tell them I'm out."

Did he _know_ that I could hear him? Fahrenheit gave me a glance that was - somehow - both apologetic and threatening.

"There's only one here," she explained, "and she wants the Pickman job."

"Huh. Let her in, then."

She opened the door and practically shoved me inside. I took it all back - I _didn't_ like Goodneighbor. What kind of place has a friendly name like that and then doesn't live up to the expectations?! That wasn't fair.

"Oh, no." Hancock gave me just one glance before pouring himself a glass of what looked like scotch. "It's _you_."

So he remembered.

"Um... Yes, uh... I'm so sorry about that."

"You walk into my town and almost faint when you see a ghoul, but _then_ you come back. I like that type." He took a sip of the drink. "You're the first person of that type I've ever met."

I cleared my throat.

"I heard you needed someone to do some recon for you," I said, deciding that straight to business was the best way of dealing with ghouls. For now, he was keeping his distance, but I still didn't want to take my chances. Who knew when he'd go feral and jump at me? I _so_ did not want that.

"And you wanna do that?" Hancock looked at me, surprised. "I didn't have a single volunteer in the last week I'd been asking."

That sounded bad. "Why? What's the job?"

He walked up to me and I did my best not to cringe.

"See, there's this place. It's called the Pickman Gallery and I don't know _what it is._ Any people I've sent on recon never made it back and this kinda... It only fuels my curiosity. So here's the simplified deal: I'm paying three hundred caps if you go there, check it out, go back and tell me what you saw. Pretty simple. Good pay." He smiled at me. "So, you in?"

I involuntarily jumped back when he moved closer.

"Shit... You alright there?" Hancock tried to put an arm around me, but that only made me feel even worse. "You look terrible."

"It's nothing," I mumbled, trying not to look at him.

"No, it's not." It was sad how unconvinced he was. "What _is_ with you?"

I took in a breath.

"I'm kinda... scared of ghouls?"

He raised an eyebrow. "And how scared are you now?"

I wiped my forehead nervously. "Well, you're standing a bit close, so..." I drifted off when he laughed out loud. "Huh?"

"Oh no, I'm impressed. Honest. It must be like a nightmare to walk into my town for you."

"You... don't hate me?" I asked, slightly surprised.

"Let me guess, you have some kinda trauma because a feral almost killed you." The ghoul laughed. "Hell, you still come here even though it must be absurdly hard for you? That's pretty damn impressive."

"I actually only came here to look for cash." And get drunk. But that hadn't worked.

"Still. You've got my respect, woman."

I nervously took a step back when he moved closer to me.

"Hey. If you ever want some kinda therapy, I'm right here."

"What the hell?" I exclaimed. Hancock just shrugged.

"You know what I mean, face your fear and all that. How you're afraid of spiders and you get a pet spider or you're afraid of heights and you go climb a tall building, that kinda shit. Familiarity therapy." He grinned. "Knight Nora, I dare you to kiss me."

"What?" I laughed. "No way. Not gonna happen." I folded my arms across my chest.

"Double dare you. Face your fear. I promise I won't bite." He spread out his arms with a wide smile.

I laughed out loud. "I can't believe it. You actually _do_ think I would do that!"

He put his arms down.

"I figured you'd chicken out," he said.

I grabbed his head and quickly pressed my lips against his. Hancock's black eyes widened, but he seemed to enjoy it. Much more than me, actually.

I pulled away after a second, immediately wiping my mouth with the sleeve of my uniform. My Pip-Boy was sending me a radiation warning.

"My _God!"_ I exclaimed, furiously wiping my mouth. "I can't believe I just did that!"

Hancock just smiled.

"Whatever you think, princess. I, for one, liked it."

It hadn't been _bad_...

"Feel better yet?" He asked.

"Well, if it's any consolation, _standing_ next to you doesn't seem so bad anymore."

He patted me on the shoulder. "Told you it'd work."

I wriggled out of his grip.

"Alright, no, it's not... It's not alright," I said. "I... Thanks for the job. I really appreciate it, but... I gotta go."

I almost _ran_ out of the room.

Already on the street, I felt myself blushing. What the hell...? Wow, my first kiss in two hundred years. Not that bad, but... I doubted Mayor Hancock was the right person.

I knew it hadn't been anything serious, that it wasn't a commitment of anything... It had been just one kiss that didn't mean anything. Then why was I overthinking it so much?

I wasn't even attracted to Hancock, not really. He was incredibly cute, but I didn't see myself with someone like him. Not because he was a ghoul, but because he was... Well, Hancock.

I didn't _need_ a relationship! So what if I was jealous of Rhys and Haylen? It didn't mean I was love deprived.

With Hancock, it had been just one kiss, and neither of us had even taken it seriously.

That was it.

I went to check what that Pickman Gallery was all about.

oooOOO***OOOooo

This was just sick!

I had thought the Wasteland wouldn't surprise me any more, but I had been wrong. Because this was a whole new level of wrong.

The first thing I'd noticed in the gallery were the paintings, obviously. They were rather distressing, to be honest. And the paint looked... disturbing.

Later, I had found the raiders. Dead raiders. I had eventually managed to find the man himself, Pickman. He had wanted to talk.

Well, he was dead _now_.

"Used the blood of his victims to paint those atrocious images," I said nervously. Fahrenheit rolled her eyes at me, unimpressed. Hancock leaned back in his chair.

"I see. Well, the asshole got what he had coming, if you ask me."

"They weren't even _good_ ," I blurted out. He tilted his head. "The paintings. They were terrible. Like what a child would have drawn."

I was fully aware that I was rambling, but I was so shaken up that I didn't know what I was even doing.

"Alright, that's it." Hancock passed me a pouch of bottlecaps. "You did your job, here's the payment. Now go to the Third Rail and buy yourself a drink." His eyes softened. "You look like you need it."

I stood up. "Thanks."

"Actually..." He reached into his pocked and pulled out a small box. "Take this too. Consider it a bonus, from yours truly."

I looked at the name. Mentats.

"Drugs?" I asked skeptically. "You're paying me with _drugs_?"

"You mean chems? Yeah, that's the drill. I'm a fan of these, personally. Make me feel all intellectual."

Those had been around before the war. Mentats were these neuro-psycho-active pills which were supposed to amplify your intellectual abilities. They got banned pretty soon after it got exposed how highly addictive and destructive to brain tissue they were, but not before they got to the black market. During the war, no one really cared about some drug which made it big, because there were bigger problems. After the war? Apparently, some of those pre-War drugs were still popular.

"...Thanks," I said, hiding the pills in my backpack, along with the money. I did _not_ intend on using those, ever.

I went out on the street, looking around warily. I was still so shaken up that I had to smoke two cigarettes until I finally started to calm down.

No more ghouls and suspicious art galleries from now on. From now on, I would only do what I had to do.

Maybe I was drunk after all, because I didn't feel completely sober. What was I even doing here? This wasn't me, this wasn't who I was. I wasn't this... this mercenary kind of person. I put a hand to my forehead. I really _was_ feeling terrible.

I glanced at my Pip-Boy to check my vital signs. I had... 'minor radiation poisoning'. That didn't sound good, but - on the bright side - at least it was minor. I quickly rummaged through my military backpack, searching for anti-radiation supplies. I had some pills labeled as Rad-X and two drips with RadAway scribbled on them with a marker. I hadn't used either of those before, and worst of all, I didn't have anyone I could ask about it.

 _Here's why you_ don't _abandon your friends in the middle of the Wasteland,_ I thought bitterly.

I decided to go with RadAway because it sounded more like something I needed right now. I gritted my teeth as I stuck a heplock into my forearm, but it didn't hurt as much as I'd feared. The drip packet was quite small, actually, so the whole thing didn't take very long. And, admittedly, I felt a lot better and clear-headed afterwards. I would have to thank Paladin Danse for giving me those.

Danse.

Damn it, he would be angry. Not to mention Piper - she had been mad enough when I had left to join the Brotherhood. Now, I had run away alone.

Besides, I had no idea where to even look for them now. It was unlikely they'd stayed where I'd left them - it's been two days, they could have made it to Diamond City... I grinned widely. Of course.

Diamond City it was.

Maybe, if I was just very lucky, I would manage to catch a caravan headed southwest and tag along as a guard or hitchhiker, depending on the situation.

That wasn't such a bad plan.

"Have you lost your mind?" were the first words I heard from Piper after I arrived in DC. (The fact that I, even if subconsciously, used that abbreviation, kind of freaked me out.) "Have _you_ lost your _mind_?!"

She took off her hat and hit me on the shoulder with it.

"Ouch!" I protested. "Oh my God!" She had just hit me again. "Will you just stop?!"

"What kind of idiot are you, Blue!" She didn't even mean it as a question. "What kind of _idiot_!"

"I'm sorry," I said. "There's no excuse. I wasn't thinking straight, I don't even know..."

"This is the second time you've pulled off something like that," she pointed out. "I just... How can I even trust you to come back?"

"I did." I sent her a weak smile. "Both times."

"Oh, for the sake of... Ugh, why do I like you so much?" She just smiled, though I could see she was still angry. "You're glad I'm this nice to forgive you. Because you've got a harder conversation before you."

"Danse," I moaned. "Oh no. He'll have my head!"

"What can I say except it was nice knowing you. We've had a good run," she laughed. "Seriously though. Go explain to your commanding officer why you've been gone for three days." She wrinkled her forehead. "Where _were_ you, actually?"

"Goodneighbor."

"Oh, so _don't_ tell him." She laughed and I couldn't help but join in.

Paladin Danse, on the other hand, was _not_ that friendly and understanding.

"Desertion of your post."

I inhaled. "...Yes."

"Abandonment of your teammates."

"Yes."

"Neglection of duty."

"Yes."

"You _do_ realize what all of this means? You do, of course you do. You've got military background and you're a member of a military force at the moment." He massaged his forehead. "Then _why_ would you even pull off something like that? Why?"

"I have no excuse, sir. You'll just have to take my word that I do not intend to do that anymore." Damn, this was hard. I was genuinely scared of him.

"Your _word_ , soldier? Your _word_?!" He reached into the pocket of his bomber jacket (the one he had given to me two weeks ago - he must have found it in Piper's house) and pulled out a pair of dogtags for me to see. "Do you know what this is?"

"My holotags."

"Your holotags." He clenched his fist on them, looking me in the eyes. I looked away. "This is a _promise,_ Nora. This is a promise from me to keep you safe, but it is also a promise from you to _not run off whenever you please_!"

I looked down. "I know."

"And you not only broke that promise, you broke every single military codex that exists. You deserted your post without reporting to any military personnel, that makes you a defector. You're a _traitor_."

"I know how this must look for you, but I beg your indulgence-"

"I have _not_ finished, Knight. I already featured this incident in my weekly report to the Elder." He hid the holotags back into his pocket, instead pulling out a small piece of paper. He looked at it for a very long moment. "I can _not_ lie in a report. You're fully aware of this."

"Yes, sir." I couldn't even meet his eyes. Of all the people, he knew best how to make me feel remorse.

Danse looked at me, then at the report. "Then God damn me." He tore it apart right before my eyes. I felt my lower lip trembling and I had to bite on it not to cry.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"But let this be the last time you do something like this. From now on, the mission is all that matters."

"Of course. I wouldn't dare- I wouldn't _dare_ say otherwise." Because, ultimately, the mission _was_ all that mattered. Finding the Institute. So that I could learn what had happened to Shaun, so that the people of the Commonwealth wouldn't have to fear their own shadow anymore, so that the threat of the synths could exist no more... It was all that mattered.

And we _would_ do it.

"Where haven't we checked yet?" I asked, putting up the map of my Pip-Boy. I had been marking all the locations we had checked out as time went, and it was finally beginning to look more or less informative. When I zoomed out to see not only Boston but the whole state, it looked even better. I finally realized that all those weeks hadn't been wasted. Sure, it was almost December now, and the mission had started at the beginning of November, but who had ever said it was going to be short? No one. And now, I saw that we _had_ done some progress.

We knew, after all, that the Institute used teleportation as an entrance.

Maybe that didn't sound like a lot, but it really was. It wasn't enough to go on, of course, but it was enough to know to begin searching.

"Downtown Boston seems empty," Piper pointed with a finger. "I mean, there are none of your little markers there."

"Because it's a dangerous area," Danse said. "Although... That _might_ just be what we're looking for."

We exchanged glances.

"I'll go get my power armor."

"I've to say goodbye to Nat."

"Oh, Piper, I'll go with you, I still need to pick up my stuff."

It was strange to be back in Piper's house. We had been on the road for so long that I had almost forgotten that she owned one.

"Oh, even this is here," I laughed, holding up my Vault 111 jumpsuit. "Damn. So many memories... And not only bad ones, actually."

"Yeah, well, that's how I got around to calling you Blue. Actually," she stuck out her tongue at my Brotherhood uniform, "I think Orange would be more appropriate now."

"Oh hell no!" I protested. That was a _terrible_ name. "I can wear this thing again, no worries. It's not like the uniforms are mandatory, okay?"

Not much than a moment later, I was dressed exactly like I had been when I had first met her. When I had first met Danse. Nick, too. There really _were_ many memories with this jumpsuit.

"Oh no," Danse commented once he saw me. "Not this again."

"Is something wrong with my Vault suit?" I asked. "Because if I recall correctly, you said that wearing the uniform is voluntary."

"It's not the lack of uniform I'm worried about. It's the jumpsuit itself. It's blue and yellow, it's almost as though you _want_ the enemy to notice you."

Humoring Piper and irritating Danse? Now I had _two_ good reasons to wear this.

oooOOO***OOOooo

"I want my power armor!" I shouted, angrily reloading my assault rifle. Downtown Boston was _not_ a fun place to be - a statement I had learned to be true already during my first week in the Wasteland - and now I was having some serious jealousy issues towards a certain Paladin who, in contrary to me, _did_ have professional battle protection gear.

One of the raiders who were attacking us made the mistake of trying to sneak up on me. Dogmeat took care of him in a few seconds.

"We're falling back!" I noticed aloud.

"You don't say!" Piper screamed back at me from the other side of the street. She kicked away one of the two men who were on to her and packed two bullets from her revolver into the other's head. "Danse! What do we do?!"

The fact that even she asked him for orders was kind of funny, actually. No one had ever said it aloud, but we _had_ chosen the leader.

"Hold position!" He looked around frantically. "Actually, no, that's a bad idea! Retreat!"

There were _many_ of them and only three of us. I had already gotten shot at least five times, thanks to some machinegun turret which I hadn't managed to take out in time, and I didn't even want to look at the red alerts that were flashing on my Pip-Boy. I didn't know how the others stood, but at least Dogmeat was completely alright, because he was too small for the raiders to take notice of.

I swapped the assault rifle for Righteous Authority and took a quick moment to look around and assess the situation. Not good, but not very bad, either. I rolled over when one of the raiders decided to attack me with a full round from a machinegun. I waited until he had to reload, quickly aimed and fired three times. He disintegrated into a pile of dust.

"Holy shit, energy weapons," I whispered. _Note to self: keep the safety on at all times_.

"Alright, go!" Danse grabbed me by the shoulder and dragged with himself as he ran by me. "Go, go, go!"

We ran into some building and all three of us immediately held the door closed.

"Okay, so I guess we're not leaving _this_ way," Piper said.

"You _think_?!" I screamed, looking around for something to jam the door or at least barricade it. "Damn, this is bad!"

"Hey... Hey, shh." Piper held up a finger. "Just don't make any noise."

I stopped talking and the only sound I could hear was our heavy panting - mine was louder than even Danse's mechanically distorted breath.

But that was all I could hear.

"They're not breaking in," I realized. "Why?"

"Either they gave up," Piper parted with the door, "or they know we won't be coming out."

"So you're suggesting we've just locked ourselves in someplace more dangerous than we had just escaped."

"Right you are, Paladin." She nodded. "I don't know... This place gives me goosebumps, and the bad kind too."

I too let go of the door and looked around. This place must have been a theater or cinema, because we were in a lobby that was completely destroyed by two hundred years' decay. To make things worse, the lights were all gone, so it was mostly dark. Only from the steps down, there came a strong light. Cobwebs all over the place... There were many pieces of broken furniture there, as well as many misshapen figures of mannequins and cardboard cut-outs which cast fantastic shadows all over the walls.

It was downright _creepy_ \- and thankfully I wasn't the only one who noticed that. Piper tensed and pulled out her pistol.

"A location like this would surely inflict fear in almost any individual," Danse said overconfidently, heading towards the light. "Thankfully, my training prevents- _What_ was _that?!_ " He exclaimed in a high-pitched voice, jumping up in fear after Piper had tapped him on the shoulder at just the right moment.

I burst into laughter.

"You should've heard yourself," the reporter managed to choke out as she laughed alongside me.

Danse muttered something about unprofessionalism, but that only made us laugh harder.

There was a scream from downstairs and our laughter died out almost as abruptly as it had begun. This warm, friendly atmosphere which had managed to make me forget about our problems for a while was gone in an instant.

Danse gripped his laser rifle more tightly.

"Let's go," he said in a low voice. "Whatever we're about to face, just remember not to split up. We stay together."

I suppose we weren't expecting to find a fight club filled with shouting raiders.

The stage had been turned into a fighting ring, with two combatants fighting for dear life while the audience cheered them on. But... This was familiar. The stage. The layout of the seats.

"Oh my God," I whispered. "I know where we are. 1 Hamilton Place. This is the Orpheum Theater, I and Nate used to come down here all the time, it's-"

It's _destroyed_. This used to be an opera house. It was a fight club now. And there was blood and trash on the floor, only complimenting the vulgar graffiti all over the walls. Some of the pictures were straight up _pornographic_. It made me want to gag.

"Are these people down there for real?" Piper asked quietly. "They're being forced to fight, they'll kill each other."

"Welcome back to Roman times," I said numbly. "Gladiators. For the glory of Ceasar or not at all. Those who are to die, they hail thee."

Both of my friends looked at me. I couldn't speak for the armor-clad Danse, but Piper looked freaked out.

"You alright, Blue?"

"No." I flicked off the safety of my laser rifle. "No, I'm not. And these fighters down there? They're not gonna die."

I made my way down the aisle. Most of the raiders didn't pay me much mind and those who did didn't care enough.

"Nora," Piper hissed. "What are you doing?"

"I'm shutting this show down."

Before I could react, the spotlight which had been directed to the stage until then shone directly at me. A speaker's voice came from the sound system, but the cheering all around me was too loud for me to focus on.

"-seems we've got a new fighter! Hold on. What? They're not with us!" were the words that, somehow, fully got through to me.

Every single gun in the room was pointed at me.

"Plan B!" I screamed, diving behind some chairs and kicking the man who was hiding there in the crotch. He collapsed and I put a beam of energy into his back. I ducked before a storm of bullets flew right above my head. "Plan B!"

 _"Was_ there a Plan A?!" Piper exclaimed, pressing her back against the chairs.

I gritted my teeth. I hated raiders. Forcing people to fight to death for the sake of their own enjoyment, desecrating this place which had been the beacon of culture for the last four hundred years... Oh, I had had _enough_.

"There is now," I said coldly. "Plan A: kill."

I don't even know if that was for better or worse, but at least half of the raiders had the common sense to run away once they saw that the _three_ of us were winning. Three of us against at lest ten times that many of them... But it wasn't like it had been outside. Now, I was high on Stimpaks and adrenaline. I managed to find actual joy in the simple, repeatable actions of firing a gun, reloading the magazine, finding another enemy, avoiding his attacks and shooting again. Besides, I wasn't fighting just for us. There were civilians at stake this time too.

I wasn't going to lose this time.

"Nora... Nora, it's done. We've finished." Piper gently shook my shoulder. I was still holding up my rifle. I lowered it slowly, looking at the flower of carnage.

"Did we..." I began, wanting to ask if the gladiators had survived.

"What the _hell_ have you done?!"

My eyes widened in surprise at the angry voice which came from the stage. I turned around in an instant, only to see one of the fighters - a red-headed girl, dressed in some rags - glaring at me angrily.

I stared, shocked at her expression. The other three gladiators were sneaking out of the gate.

"Please don't kill us too," one of them said quietly, looking at Danse with pure fear.

"You're free now," my friend said. "We're not here to harm any of you."

They didn't wait for any further encouragement and just legged it.

"Well, you harmed _me!"_ The girl crossed her arms. She had a strong Irish accent, which managed to catch me by surprise.

"We... saved your life," I said slowly.

"I was just fine! All you did was take away my only source of money!" She motioned towards the dead raiders. "Those idiots paid poor caps to see a good show, but they paid at all!"

"That's _so_ not what we thought," Piper noticed. "We thought you were fighting to death."

"We were! And I was winnin'!" She gritted her teeth and stared at me. "Now I've got no money, no way to make it, and you've destroyed the only home I've known!"

Ouch. That... That hurt.

"We're so sorry," Piper said softly.

"Do you want to... come with us?" I asked. I was full of doubt. Maybe I shouldn't be the one to judge, but her clothes just screamed 'raider'.

"Not like I have a choice," the girl replied. "Sides, anythin' beats sittin' here waitin' for death."

"Blue!" Piper looked at me suggestively. "You serious about this?"

" _I'm_ serious. You may join us."

We simultaneously looked at Paladin Danse.

"Wha-?" I uttered. There were many things I had been expecting in this situation, and him agreeing to take in a raider was not one of them.

" _Crede_ _mihi_ , this is the right thing to do." His nervous Latin was kicking in and I couldn't help but wonder why saving this raider was so important to him.

"No." Piper crossed her arms with a pout. "We're not _discussing_ this - we're just not doing it."

They both looked at me, the decisive vote. I frowned, trying not to look at the soldier.

"I'm sorry, sir, but this time I'm with Piper." I looked away from the girl. "I can't let you come with us. Just go."

"You can't leave me!" She exclaimed.

I sighed.

"Listen, uh..."

"Cait."

"Listen, Cait. I've no idea how much of the world you've seen, but I think you already know it's not a nice place. And..."

"Stop talkin' as if I'm a kid!" She stomped her foot. "You're the _worst!"_

I nodded seriously.

"That's what they tell me," I said. "Yeah. I am literally the worst. Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not a hero." I glared at my feet. "I'm not even a good person."

Danse didn't look too happy with that, but he didn't really protest. Me and Piper against him, two against one, and he wasn't one to argue with democracy.

Cait sighed. "Well, at least the loot is mine. These arseholes were gonna give me the money anyway."

I decided to let her search the bodies, even though I desperately needed ammo after today.

"I feel terrible," I whispered.

Piper frowned. "Yeah, me too. It's just... wrong. But there's nothing we can do."

Danse looked at her. "You don't understand, do you?" He growled. "Either of you. You haveno idea what it's like." He glanced at the girl. "To be in her place."

He pushed me aside and marched off angrily.

"Whoa," I said aloud. _"Someone_ has issues."

"Should we apologize or what?" Piper wrinkled her forehead. "I... Don't really get what's going on here."

"Like I said, he's got some issues." I looked to where Danse was trying to talk to Cait. She didn't seem to appreciate the thoughtfulness. "Or..."

"What the fuck?!" A new voice exclaimed. We all immediately turned to face the raider who was standing by the stage and staring at us in shock. He noticed the loaded gun in my hand. "Holy-"

I nervously pulled the trigger and he fell to the floor, dead.

"Are there any more of you?!" I screamed at the girl.

"I'm not with them," she protested. "And I don't know where they keep comin' from!"

"Well..." I carefully stepped over the body. "One way to find out..."

I checked behind the stage. There was a small passage leading underground in the wall.

"Blue?" Piper called out. I glanced back to see her kneeling next to the man I'd just killed. She held up his blood-soaked bandana. It had a black skull painted on it. "Gunners."

I'd heard about those before. That they were some kind of better-equipped group of raiders - or that they were mercenaries. Somehow, I couldn't recall which of those was true.

"What _can_ be down there?" I wondered aloud. I ran a mental check of our supplies. We weren't bad on food, a little less so on ammo, but I was out of healing supplies. "We've gotta check."

"Gunners, Blue. We do _not_ want to mess with these guys."

"Don't look at me," Paladin Danse held up his hands. "None of this was my idea."

"Come on," I said. "I just wanna take a look. See, this has to lead _somewhere_." I looked at the tunnel. "And it's too fortified for something built recently."

"My power armor won't fit through this," he noticed. "Maybe I had better stay here and stand guard."

"Five minutes," I said. "Please?"

Piper and Danse exchanged glances.

"I suppose there's nothing wrong with just looking." He jumped out of the armor and reloaded his laser rifle. "I'm starting to feel a bit of curiosity myself."

I crouched to fit into the passageway and without a word continued ahead.

"Fifty caps says the girl nicked Danse's armor," Piper whispered from behind me.

I giggled. "You're on."

It was strange how fortified this passage was, almost as if it were leading to a bunker. It was dark, too - I had turn on my Pip-Boy lamp. The whole tunnel was lit only by emergency lighting like the one I'd seen in Vault 111.

"Of course," I realized aloud, just seconds before I reached the end of the tunnel and I could see the gear-shaped steel door for myself. "It's a Vault."

"I've never seen one of those," Piper whispered, pushing me forward. "Let me see, you're blocking the whole entrance!"

I jumped out of the tunnel, immediately crouching behind the nearby crates. We were on a catwalk descending to the Vault's entrance, but there were at least ten people down there, and they did not look friendly.

"Vault 81," Piper read aloud. "Oh, boy. Nora-!"

"Huh?" I turned back to look at her. The last thing I saw was the expression of fear on her face, before something heavy hit me in the back of my head.

I lost my consciousness.

oooOOO***OOOooo

I opened my eyes within a second after waking up.

I gasped, shocked, when I realized I was already in a standing position. I could feel something on my wrists, holding me up, and it took me a moment to realize those were chains. I was handcuffed to some kind of machine.

I struggled against the restraints, but deep inside, I knew it wasn't going to work.

 _My friends...!_ I looked around frantically, trying to assess both where _they_ were and where _I_ was. I could see the Vault's entrance, as well as Danse and Piper on the other catwalk across the room. Piper was, what worried me, unconscious. From how beaten-up they both looked, I was guessing they'd put up more of a fight than me. Dogmeat was sitting by their side, growling angrily at the men who were holding Danse in place.

We locked eyes for a fraction of a second, but that contact ended when someone punched me in the face. I felt a sharp sting of pain on my cheek. My eyeglasses fell to the floor.

I was so shocked that I breathed in and couldn't exhale for a few seconds.

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty." One of the Gunners - a middle-aged man with fair brown hair, at least as muscular as Danse - smiled at me. "Hello there."

I spat in his face without considering it too much.

He winced and wiped it with his hand. "Charming," he growled.

"What the hell," I said, trying to sound as convincing as a person in my situation could, "is going on here?"

"Oh, let's get straight to business. That down there's a Vault, a fully operational Vault. In short, we want the loot." The raider narrowed his eyes. "But you need a code to open the door." He cleared his throat. "What's the code?"

"Huh?" I was genuinely confused.

"The code. What is it?"

"I don't know," I said. He kneed me in the stomach. "I don't _know_!"

The Gunner shook his head. "Wrong answer."

"Look, this is all just a mistake, I don't know anything about your codes! I'm not even from Vault 81! One-one-one, can't you see?!"

"Convenient," he noticed. "Also, unconvincing." He grabbed my wrist. "I _will_ find out, one way or the other. You can't save your friends from the Vault - but you _can_ save yourself. So will you tell me what I want to know?"

I closed my eyes and steadily, let out a breath. When I opened them again, I felt nothing but determination.

"Rule number one of being interrogated: you are the only irreplaceable person in the interrogation room," I recited. "If you want to learn something from me, you can't kill me or even hurt me too much."

I tried to show much more confidence than I was feeling.

The man stared at me for a moment before bursting into laughter. It was that terrible, cruel kind of laugh that someone who knows something you don't does. I felt my blood run cold.

"Nice try, Vault Girl. But I think that rule only applies if you're captured alone."

My eyes widened.

 _No_.

The raider smiled viciously and I knew that my reaction was too telltale. He looked at Danse and Piper just for one second, when suddenly, Dogmeat jumped on him, teeth bared. I cried out in joy, but that joy was short-lived. The raider managed to shake him off onto the ground.

I struggled against the metal chains holding me in place when he kicked the bundle of fur, sending the poor dog across the catwalk. It hit the wall and I stared in horror as, this one time, Dogmeat didn't get up.

"So what's the damn code?!" He exclaimed. When I didn't answer, he walked to my friends. I tugged on the chains that held my left arm with all the strength I could gather. The metal began cutting into my wrist. I shut my eyes when I felt blood trickling down my forearm.

The Gunner gripped Piper's hair and leaned her head back. The girl was still unconscious, but that didn't calm me in the least. He pulled out a knife and put to her throat. I stopped struggling and stared in fear.

"Don't kill!" Danse struggled against the men holding him. I hung my head when I realized that he was braver than me, even in the face of death. He broke free of their grasp on him and pulled the unconscious Piper away from the immediate danger, which was the man with the knife. "Don't," he repeated, standing between the raider and victim, steadfast and unwavering despite how obvious it was that he didn't stand a chance.

"Well ain't this one a fighter."

One strong kick was enough to bring down a tired, beaten-up man. The Gunner didn't look for a new weapon or anything - instead, he just looked at me. As if he wanted to make sure I was watching.

He brought up his crowbar.

I tried to look away, to pretend I didn't hear the sound of bones breaking. I couldn't.

Danse gritted his teeth, tears streaming from his tightly shut eyes. He let out a quiet whimper, but didn't scream. He didn't need to - I did it anyway.

"NO!"

With much more strength than I would have suspected myself of, I pulled at the chains on my wrists. One of them nearly broke free, but I didn't care about restraints anymore. "No!"

I struggled against the damn chains, but I was nearly powerless. On the catwalk on the other side of the room, my friends were being tortured before my very eyes and I was too damn weak to do anything to help them!

Danse was pushing his broken arm close to his chest, lying on the floor next to the unconscious Piper. He tried getting up, but the Gunner just stomped him down with his heavy boot. I winced.

"This one's feisty," he commented, grabbing a fistful of the soldier's hair and yanking his head up. "This is gonna be much more fun than I thought!"

I tugged at my restraints when my friend received a kick in the face, and again when he coughed up some blood.

"Stop it!" I screamed. Tears were streaming from my eyes. "For the sake of everything that's holy, leave him alone!" I pulled on my restraints stronger, but nothing seemed to work.

Danse was barely breathing when the man decided to stop maltreating his face. A kick to his stomach. And another one. I thought I wouldn't bear it anymore, but I was forced to watch - in that position, I couldn't even look away.

"What's wrong?" The Gunner looked straight at me. "I'll tell you what's wrong. He suffers in silence. Do you reckon if we do the same to your reporter friend, how long before _she_ screams?"

"Leave her the hell alone!" I exclaimed. Danse was strong. He would manage, but Piper... Piper was just a girl, barely old enough to drink. They couldn't... They couldn't. "Don't you fucking _dare_ hurt her!"

"Oh. Oh. Struck a nerve?" He laughed coldly. "You're closer with this one, aren't you?"

The man was right. Piper was my best friend. And if they did to her what they had done to Danse, it would break me.

"Why won't you just tell me the code? It'll be much easier, and maybe she'll survive." He pursed his lips, bringing his boot heavy on Danse's side. "Not so sure about _him_ , though..."

"Fuck. You," I growled. "I don't know any codes! I'm not even a Vault dweller, God damn it! Just let them _go_!"

"Vault suit, Pip-Boy... Yeah, right." He pursed his lips. "You can really come up with something more convincing. I'm not gonna-" Something in the Gunner's expression changed and he stopped talking altogether.

He coughed, splitting out a lot of blood. I stared, shocked, as he tried to take a step forward and just collapsed.

Cait looked at him, almost surprised at what she had done, the knife in her hands stained with blood.

The two other men immediately came at her, but she fought like the professionalist she was - a few well-delivered kicks, punches, and stabs were enough. She pushed the bodies to the ground, where they were starting to form a pile.

I looked at her as she looked at me. There was a very long moment of silence.

"Help?" I said weakly.

She narrowed her brows. "Hell no. You didn't want me along back then, why would I wanna help you now?" She nodded at Paladin Danse. "I'm only helpin' _him_ , alright?"

She walked right past me. I tugged on the chains, but they only dug into the open wounds on my hands. "No no no no!" I protested. "Hey! Hey..." I laughed nervously. "You know I didn't mean any of that! Really!"

She raised an eyebrow. "You expect me to believe _that_?"

"Okay, okay. I was terrible. I should never have rejected you." I was seriously desperate now. "But please, you have to free me even if you don't care about me. Because these are my friends, and I will help them." I knit my eyebrows. "Look at them, they won't make it long in this state! Please, please, Cait... Don't do it for me, do it for _them_."

She looked at Piper and Danse. The latter was actually partially conscious, but his state was much worse, so it didn't really count.

Cait bit her lip.

"...Fine!" She ran up to me and undid the cuffs. "But you _help_."

I fell to the floor, grateful to be able to move freely again. I flexed my wrists a bit and saw that it didn't cause an ungodly amount of bleeding. It did cause _some_ , but that was the least of my worries.

First things first.

I ran to Danse, seeing that he was still more or less conscious. I held him up as he wavered and it was clear he was close to passing out.

"I've got you," I said. "I've... Damn, you're heavy," I winced. "It's fine. It's alright. Just talk to me." I patted him on the cheek when I saw he was losing his consciousness. "Hey! Talk to me."

"Knight?" He blinked, but his eyes were still hazy. "I think... I think I might require medical assistance."

If I hadn't been holding him already, he would have slumped to the floor. Heavy!

"Paladin?" I dared to shift his limp body. "Sir?" He didn't respond. "Danse!" I shook him violently, but he was completely lifeless.

Panicked, I lay my head on his chest and listened for heartbeat. One two three four beat one two three beat one two three four beat... I breathed a sigh of relief. Not dead.

"Piper," I breathed out. I quickly ran to where she was lying and checked her neck for pulse. She was still alive too.

"They're gonna die," Cait noticed aloud. I gritted my teeth. _Oh, hell no._

"Stay here," I ordered, not even looking to see if she actually complied. "Make sure nothing happens to them!"

On my way, I passed the half-alive Dogmeat, but I couldn't stop to check his state. I ran past him, only stopped to pick up my glasses and backpack (I noticed, bitterly, that the Gunners had searched through it) and ran immediately to the exit tunnel. I made it outside (idly realizing that Cait _hadn't_ stolen Danse's armor, so Piper owed me fifty bottlecaps) and looked around. It was night already and the raiders were all gone from the streets. Sadly, so was all life.

 _Think, Nora, think! Medical supplies! Where can I find something like that?!_

I mentally ran over the little I still knew of Boston's topography. Any drugstore would do, I just had to find one and hope it hadn't been robbed over those two hundred years.

I was fully aware that I didn't have much time to waste, so I made it a point that I _didn't_ waste it. The first chemist's I found maybe ten blocks away, and much to my ineffable joy, it looked untouched.

I busted the door open and ran inside.

"Drop the gun!" A young man screamed, holding a 10mm pistol at me. I stopped running abruptly, putting my hands up.

"I don't have a gun!" I said quickly, looking around as I spoke. Great, it seemed he was here doing the same thing as me - robbing the store. (If the term 'robbery' still applies to something that hasn't had an owner for over two centuries.)

"What are you doing here?" He asked angrily. I could see white drops of sweat on his brown skin. His hands were shaking as he held the pistol. That was _not_ safe.

"Put the gun down," I said slowly. "I'm just here for some supplies."

"Well, they're mine. I was here before you." He did lower the gun, though.

"My friends are wounded, one of them critically." I spoke as softly as I could, fully aware that one wrong word would lead to getting my head blown off. "They need this stuff to _survive_."

The man's expression hardened. "Yeah, sure. I've heard that story a million times before! And even if you're telling the truth, it doesn't matter."

"It does to me."

"Look," he swiped the medicine from the counter into his backpack, "I'm selling this stuff, all of it. If you want it, you've gotta buy."

"I have two hundred caps," I said quickly. Normally, I would have argued, but there was no time.

"I can give you two Stimpaks and some Buffout."

"Just two?" I gritted my teeth. "They're dying back there!"

"I'm sorry for your loss, then," he growled, "but that's life. Seventy caps a syringe. And _nothing less_."

I didn't have anything. I didn't have anything. Danse alone would need ten Stimpaks at least, not to mention Dogmeat, Piper and - what I barely thought about - me. I would never be able to buy that much with what I had. Time was of the essence!

I pulled off my wedding ring.

"How much is this worth?" I asked frantically, despair shining in my eyes.

"Please, help my dog?" I handed Cait one of the Stimpaks. "Just... see if he's still alive."

"And you'll manage this?" She asked, and for the first time, sounded actually concerned.

I sighed, looking at Danse. At least one broken bone, probably more, and all that other damage. The amount of blood and gore made it kind of hard to make out where the wounds were. And the worst part of it all? I knew it was my fault.

"I have to."

I unzipped his jumpsuit and tried to pull it off his body without rubbing it against the wounds. It was almost completely soaked in blood.

I ran my fingers over the well-pronounced muscles on his chest, my hand staying on the large scar that ran across his torso, from the right shoulder to the breastbone. _I wonder how much there is that I still don't know about you guys._

I flipped him over and braced myself for the worst. The wounds were... bad. A good part of skin below his elbow was torn, and there seemed to be some muscle damage. After only a moment of trying to secure the wound, my hands were caked with blood, and I had to prevent myself from gagging.

I narrowed my brows.

"Focus, Nora. If this was me injured right now, what would Danse be doing?" I muttered to myself.

 _Well,_ I answered, _he would probably just shoot me to put me out of the misery, so that can't be the right lead._

I really didn't know what to do. Sure, I had all the right supplies, but I had close to no medical knowledge.

Cait poked me on the shoulder and I jumped up, startled.

"You can't help," she pointed out. "Look, we've gotta try that Vault. There has to be a doctor there."

"Yes, you... You're right," I breathed nervously. "Yeah. We have to... My friends need medical attention. Well, _one_ of them does."

Getting two unconscious people down a catwalk is not fun, especially if one of those people is bleeding out. I was still worried about Piper - she hadn't woken up since the Gunners had knocked us out.

"She didn't happen to wake, did she?" I asked, dragging Danse down the metal stairs. "Piper. The girl, I mean."

Cait narrowed her brows. "No. But _he_ kept mumbling all sorts of stuff. Know anyone named Cutler? He kept calling that one a lot."

"Nope..." I glanced at the Paladin. "At least he's more or less alive, though. Piper? Now, that I'm worried about." I wiped the sweat off of my forehead. "The name's Nora, by the way."

"Nice meetin' you. Great circumstances."

I banged on the door to the Vault.

"I know there's someone in there!" I screamed. "We took care of the Gunners, let us in!"

"Yeah! Just open the damn door!"

I shot Cait a glare. "Nice. _That_ ought to do it."

"Hey, don't you sarcasm me when I'm savin' all your asses." She frowned. "Do you hear that?"

There was a rising sound coming from under the ground, just below us. Whatever was coming, it did not sound friendly. Couldn't this Wasteland just give me a break for one hour? One hour was too much to ask for?

"Now would be a good time for some help to arrive!" I shouted at the door, but it remained closed.

The earth in front of us exploded! Three dog-sized animals jumped out and I almost breathed out in relief when I realized I had encountered those before.

Dogmeat jumped at one of the molerats and they entwined in battle. Another tried attacking me, but I kicked it away and pulled out my gun. Before I managed to shoot, though, the last one got through to Cait. She pushed it off herself and threw to where Piper was lying.

"No!" I shouted at her. "What the hell are you doing?!"

I quickly aimed and shot both of the animals. Dogmeat ran up to me, his snout red with molerats blood.

"What was that?!" I exclaimed.

Cait didn't answer, kneeling down next to the unconscious Piper.

"In good news," she said - she sounded so genuinely terrified that I froze - and looked at me, her eyes widened in fear, "now _both_ your friends need medical attention."


	18. Between Fire and Flood, Part 2

**Chapter Sixteen  
** **Between Fire and Flood, Part 2**

* * *

The giant steel door to Vault 81 slid open, bathing the four of us in a bright light from inside.

"That's about as far as you're going." A man wearing an armored Vault suit held a gun at me. I didn't even have the strength to raise my hands anymore.

"Please," I said. "They need help and we've saved your lives... Just..." I looked at myself. "Won't you help a fellow Vault dweller?"

I couldn't clearly see most of the people, but one woman stepped forward. She put her hand on the guard's shoulder.

"Put that thing away, Edwards," she said. He seemed shocked, but complied.

"Yes, ma'am. Of course."

She smiled bashfully. "You'll have to excuse Officer Edwards. He was just doing his job."

"You don't say," Cait muttered. I glanced at her, but only briefly.

"Wow. I have to admit, I wasn't expecting you to be wearing a Vault suit," the woman said, looking at me. "There are still other operational Vaults out there?"

"...Not anymore," I said quietly. "Vault 111 is a graveyard now. Everyone is dead."

Her eyes widened. "Christ. I'm sorry... What happened?"

"Cryogenic system malfunction," I replied simply, as if that were the most normal thing ever.

"Oh my God. All those lives lost because of a malfunction...? I suppose we've been lucky, then. Here, we pride ourselves on having maintained a successful Vault for over two centuries."

"You've been camped underground all this time?" Cait wrinkled her nose. "You're missin' out."

"Call this missing out, but there are many dangers in the Commonwealth. I guess... I guess you've saved us from one of them just now, haven't you?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but something else grabbed my attention.

"Ow... My head," Piper groaned. I immediately abandoned everything around us to hug her closely. She laughed weakly. "Okay... I'm guessing the Gunners are gone." She looked around. "Oh my God. What happened to Danse?!"

"The Gunners wanted to get into Vault 81," I said flatly, shooting the Vault dwellers a glare.

Piper sat up shakily. "He looks like someone'd thrown him into a mincer." She looked around. "Whoa... People."

"Of course," I nodded. "This is Piper Wright. Piper, this is..." I motioned towards the woman, but I realized I had no idea who she was.

"Overseer Gwen McNamara."

"Oh, you're the Overseer, you're in charge!" I looked at her. " _Please_ let us in."

McNamara folded her arms across her chest.

"We don't... usually have visitors."

"I can tell," I said absently. "Listen, I'm not trying to be imposing, but you owe us big time. These people are hurt because we were trying to save _you_."

"I'm not hurt," Piper protested. "I'm just..." She tried to stand up, but wasn't able to do it until I helped her. Her denim pants were torn just above the ankle, exposing a large bite mark on her leg. The whole wound was still bleeding. "Oh, crap."

"Overseer?" The guard asked warily.

McNamara closed her eyes. "Let them in. Get the wounded into the medi-bay while I talk to..."

"Nora." I smiled gratefully. "Knight Nora, actually... But I suppose those titles don't mean anything down here."

"I don't think so," she agreed. "Alright, you heard me, Edwards. Get a move on!"

"He's got a broken arm," I said quickly when two Vault dwellers went to get Danse. "And there's something with his shoulder, so please-"

The look Cait gave me was enough to get me to shut up. I cleared my throat.

"I... um... Come on, Pipes." I let Piper lean on my shoulder. "We'll get that bite looked at. You _do_ have a doctor here, right?" Now, I was talking to Overseer McNamara.

"Of course." She nodded.

"Ma'am. What about her friend and the dog?" The guard cocked his gun at Cait. I almost said that I didn't know her, but I bit my tongue in time.

"Well... I think that Nora here has managed to survive in the Commonwealth for a long time, so she must have chosen her friends carefully." The Overseer smiled at me. "Now come along, I'll take you to Doctor Forsythe."

"Come on, Piper... Piper?" I nudged her shoulder gently when I felt she was starting to pass out. "Come on, Piper. Not you too."

I looked at her - she was much paler than before now and she did look like she wanted to fall asleep. She blinked several times, almost as if trying to stay awake.

"Hey, uh... That doctor of yours," she said. "I hope he's got something for... you know, uh... poison?"

I shook her when she started to lose consciousness. "Piper!"

She blinked. "Right here, Blue." She smiled weakly. "Not going anywhere."

I laughed, but it was too forced - I could feel a heavy lump in my throat. "Good. Because I don't wanna lose both you _and_ Danse on the same day." I followed McNamara to an elevator, half dragging, half carrying Piper with me. "Piper!"

She shook her head again. "I feel funny..."

"I know. I know." I exhaled deeply. "But you _can't_ fall asleep, alright? Just keep talking. Tell me a story or something, just stay awake."

"Yeah... You know, I've been poisoned before." She laughed weakly. "It was after I published my first issue of the Publick after settling in Diamond City. I went to the Dugout Inn for a little celebration and... I ordered just a beer, but after a while, I started to feel all woozy..."

"Uh-huh," I said absently, more focused on looking around the Vault's atrium at the moment. So _that_ was what a working one looked like. "Go on."

"Anyway, I just ran to the restroom and threw it all up. Not the most elegant way to get out of trouble... But it worked." Piper winced. "Doubt it will work for animal venom. I don't know..."

"It's fine," I repeated. I must have said it at least a hundred times during the last hour, but it was all I could do. "Just hold on. We're almost there... Right?"

"Yes..." McNamara looked at me strangely. "Go on, here."

"Great." I entered the clinic without even looking around, and laid Piper on one of the beds by the wall. "You just hold on, Pipes. Don't fall asleep."

"Yeah, I..." She blinked when her eyelids started dropping again. "I know! I know."

It was only then that I realized we weren't alone in the clinic. Aside from Gwen McNamara, there was also a doctor and two other people there. They were gathered around another bed, but the doctor stepped away to check on Piper.

"Outsiders," he noticed, surprised. "And a Vault dweller, too."

"Yeah," I said, deciding to just stick to their story. It would spare everyone some time. "I'm from Vault 111."

He looked at Piper. "And what happened to you?"

"A nasty molerat bit me while I was knocked out, apparently."

"Oh, no." His face fell immediately. "No, not another one."

The Overseer looked at him. "What does this mean, another?"

"It's Austin, ma'am." Doctor Forsythe looked down. "He's been bitten by a venomous molerat too."

I pushed my way to the other occupied bed to look at the man. My heart sank. Austin was just a boy, maybe ten years old. Shaun's age. And he looked very, very sick.

"Just _do_ something, doctor!" An elderly woman held the boy's hand affectionately. "There can't be that many molerats diseases out there! Just treat him!"

"Molerats aren't venomous," I noticed.

"I know." The doctor shook his head. "But those definitely aren't ordinary molerats. Who knows what diseases they're carrying?"

I glanced at Piper. _Oh no._

"I'm sorry, stranger, but you and your sister will have to wait until your turn!" The woman crossed her arms.

"She's not my... Oh, nevermind."

"Well, how can we cure them?" She demanded.

"I know," the boy said weakly. I had thought he was unconscious, so this surprised me. "You know that door where I got bit? It's... It's like a whole other Vault down there. Lots of... Lots of places we don't even know about. I think it's never been finished!"

"What are you saying?" I asked softly. "Do you think there's a cure to your condition there?"

"Well, there was a terminal down there... It said something about using molerats to grow viruses?" He coughed. "But it also said they used them to make vaccines and treatments!"

"A secret Vault..." Doctor Forsythe shook his head. "I've never heard about something like that."

The woman kissed the boy on his forehead. "Austin, you're a genius! There might be a cure for whatever you got from that molerat in that place!" She looked at me. "You. Do you think you'd be able to do Vault 81 a favor and possibly save this boy's life? And your sister too?"

"She's not-" I bit my lip. "Oh, damn it. Of course. Just show me where that is and I'll have a look around."

 _"We_ will." Cait entered the room, looking as determined as a person could. "I owe you, Nora, for lettin' me stay. Let me at least help save their lives."

The woman who, as I figured, was Austin's grandmother, showed us the place where he had been bitten. I felt a certain amount of uneasiness at being in this part of the Vault. It was clear it hadn't been finished yet, and the decayed state only reminded me of Vault 111. I shook my head.

"Come on," I said. "The sooner we get this done, the better."

"Spoke my mind," Cait agreed.

I pressed the switch on the panel on the wall next to a sliding door. It opened, creaking a little, and showed us the hidden part of the Vault.

"No one had been _here_ for a while," I commented on the rubble and dirt on the ground.

The woman looked at us in a way that made my heart break - she was seeing the only hope for getting her grandson back.

"You're good people. And I hope to God you find that cure." She bit her lip. "I've got to get back to Austin. He shouldn't be alone."

"Oh!... Um, my _sister_... Her name is Piper and she'd appreciate the company too." I smiled weakly. "If you tell her about your life down in the Vault, she'd be over the moon."

 _No one should die alone_ , I added silently. But I was also hoping that no one _would_ die today.

It was hard, at first, trying to find anything in this abandoned, destroyed underground bunker. I didn't know what had happened here, but I knew Vault-Tec had used their Vaults for social and medical experiments - I myself was a proof of that. So maybe, just maybe, Vault 81 had had a purpose that was more noble than checking the effects of cryogenic stasis.

We walked up the half-rusted out metal stairs in complete silence. Even Dogmeat didn't make a sound, just looking around warily.

I had to force the first door open because it had jammed halfway done centuries ago. There was a molerat sitting on the floor - it perked up the moment we entered the room, but Cait pulled out a pistol and shot it before it managed to hurt any of us.

"Don't let 'em bite you," she said seriously.

I narrowed my brows. "Where'd you get the gun? You didn't have one."

"And _you_ didn't guard your stuff very well."

I decided not to be angry at her right now, and just pushed the dead animal aside. Dogmeat poked it with his nose, but I told him to stop.

"Let's take a look," I said, logging in to the terminal on the desk. "Molerat breeding program, no... Serum production record. That's it."

I opened the file.

 _We have created 197 distinct serums that can treat 36% of known viruses. This is a modest improvement from last year's 33% treatment rate. However 11 of the serums account for 61% of the treatment results, which is encouraging._

 _At this time, only 19% of serums have the potential to be mass produced. We have tasked our robot lab assistant to find ways to synthesize more of them efficiently._

"Huh?" Cait looked me over the shoulder to get a look at the screen. "I don't get what you're seein' in this bunch of letters."

"You can't read," I guessed. That made sense. "I don't know, but... 36% of known viruses? I don't know what's going on."

I had a _feeling_ , but I wasn't sure how good that was.

We left the room. There was another molerat there, but I shot it even before it managed to realize we were there. After that, we walked the empty metal hallways without saying a word to each other. The lights were flickering from time to time.

"Hey, I just..." I looked down at my feet. "I just wanted to say that maybe we started on the wrong foot there. I was... I wasn't nice to you. And I didn't wanna trust you. Actually... I still don't."

"You shouldn't. Trust is a stupid thing and it doesn't pay off in this shithole. But I don't know... When I look at the way you three are lookin' out for each other, I kinda feel it. It's just... It's completely strange to me."

"That's just what friends do - they trust each other. Sure, it's not an easy thing nowadays." I laughed a little. "I mean, if I could tell you how long it took for Danse to trust-" I drifted off when I saw her expression. "Shit... Cait, are you alright?"

"No, it's just... Yeah, I'm doin' great. Let's just go."

She pressed a door control button and we waited for the door to slide open. It was silent, though - something felt off.

I dragged her away just in time before two molerats jumped out of the newly-opened hallway. Dogmeat threw himself at one of them immediately while I pulled out my laser pistol and fired two quick shots at the other.

"Holy shite," Cait whispered. "You just saved my life? Why would you do that?"

I looked at her.

"That's just... I don't need a reason."

"I thought you do. I mean, it didn't look like you wanted me along, but now you're bein' damn near _nice_ to me. That's hella confusin'." She narrowed her brows. "So don't blame me if your kindness is makin' me wonder. Life's taught me that nobody does things for other people without expectin' somethin' in return."

"I do," I said, and it sounded so unconvincing that I felt a surge of shame wash through me.

"No, you don't. Look, I'm a teenager, but I'm not a kid. I've lived among raiders for damn near two years - they ain't what you'd call the gentle type. And I've learned to put me hard-earned caps to good use. Buyin' friends was essential if you wanted to live another day." Her eyes darkened. "So I guess I'm just... waitin' for you to hand me a bill."

"You don't owe me anything," I said, this time more firmly. "And if you wanna be my friend, money's not the way."

"Look, I know you're only keepin' me around because your brother wanted-"

"Not my brother." I was kind of tired of this, actually. Danse and I weren't _that_ similar-looking.

"Boyfriend?"

"Wrong again."

She shook her head. "Look, it doesn't matter who he is to you - because to me, he's the only person who stood by me when you didn't. And that's why I'm helpin' you - to repay him." She bit on her lower lip. "And that's why I didn't expect you to go on savin' my life."

"Cait... Paladin Danse wanted you to leave that place behind - and I trust him enough to help you do that... If you only let me."

She opened her mouth, clearly touched, then nervously ran a hand through her red hair to brush it back. "I _will_ find a way to make it up to you," she said. "You have me word."

There was an awkward moment of silence.

I cleared my throat. "The, um... molerats. They didn't get you, did they?"

"No, I'm alright."

We continued on walking.

"You're a teenager?" I asked. This was the thing that bothered me the most.

"Nineteen."

 _Oh, thank God._

The hallway led us to a place that I could best describe as a laboratory. A working one, too - the only working thing in this abandoned Vault. There was scientific equipment all over the place - as well as one scientist.

Well, a robot. A Mister Handy, but seemingly modified for medical purposes. It looked almost like Codsworth, except for the white color.

"Are you Vault-Tec security? I've been waiting oh so patiently for your arrival!"

I was surprised by both the fact that the robot was female and by the French accent.

"What the hell are _you?"_ Cait wrinkled her nose.

"I am the Contagions Vulnerability Robotic Infirmary Engineer - or CVRIE," the robot introduced herself. "But the human scientists call me Curie. Or to be precise, they used to call me when they were still alive."

"Maria Curie, the Polish-French scientist who discovered all that radiation and stuff," I said. _"That's_ your name?"

 _"Oui_ , madame. May I add, the accent is a part of my programming too."

"How do you even know this crap?" Cait asked, but I shushed her.

"So, Curie, these molerats are carrying a disease. Do you know anything about that?"

"Ah, yes... The molerats were used to grow all sorts of brand new and interesting pathogens! Poor darlings. But for the good of science, of course." She seemed miffed, for a robot. "But I am rambling. Are you Vault-Tec security?"

"Uh... Sure." I shrugged. "I can be Vault-Tec security."

"Finally, an official!" Curie exclaimed. "I am pleased to report that I finished my primary duties 83 years ago. Thousands of different pathogens were grown in the molerat hosts. Then a single broad spectrum was developed to treat them all. Very satisfying result after centuries of work." She paused. "Now please, tell me you are authorized to release me from my lab."

"Oh, I am _so_ authorized," I said. "You're released."

"Since you are a Vault-Tec representative, I can entrust you with the broad spectrum cure I developed. However, be advised, there is only one dose left, and I can no longer make more."

She gave me a vial with some unspecified liquid inside. I took it in my hands carefully.

"One dose?" I asked. "Why just one?"

"There used to be more," the robot replied, "but they all expired. Sadly, the organic compounds required to make more have all deteriorated."

Okay. That's okay. What's the problem? I just needed to get this cure to the kid and...

 _The cure for all human diseases._ Not just the mole rat poison, for everything. Cancer. Pneumonia. Common cold. _Everything_. I was holding in my hands the answer to medicine's all questions -and _what_ was I going to do with it?

If I gave this to Knight-Captain Cade or Scribe Neriah, the Brotherhood would be able to make more doses, distribute it across the world. Even if I didn't and I just gave it to any doctor - or, even better, scientist - this cure would be put to much better use... But this little boy would die.

The life of one person as the price to pay for the saved lives of thousands, perhaps even millions? Why _wouldn't_ I do something like that?

I gripped the vial more tightly, suddenly afraid that I might drop it. I couldn't let something like that happen... This was humanity's best hope for survival. Radiation sickness? That wouldn't be a problem anymore. No one would ever become a ghoul, they would be able to prevent it beforehand.

But... I would have to sacrifice an innocent life.

I bit my lip. _Piper_. She had been bitten too. Not to mention Danse - I had no doubt an open wound like that in Wasteland conditions like that had already gotten infected in some way.

Even if I decided to save Austin's life, I would have to sacrifice my friends. Even if I decided to save Piper, I had no way of knowing how long Danse would last, and killing the boy was inevitable. Even if I decided to save Danse, both Piper and the kid would be as good as dead.

I didn't look at the vial with awe anymore - now I was feeling only fear.

 _And how can I make the right choice?_

First of all, there was no right choice. I knew it because it was like it had been in Covenant. Whatever I did, I would lose.

I clenched my other fist. _No_. No, I wasn't about to let the Wasteland get the better of me again. I was going to save as many as I could!

"Follow me," I said sharply, but I didn't waste time on seeing how either Cait or the robot responded.

I ran through the old Vault, then through the new Vault, until I reached the clinic.

"Doctor!" I cried out, handing him the vial. "This is the most important thing you've ever seen, so don't let it go to waste. There's only one dose, but I hope you know what to do."

"There's only one dose and two patients," the doctor noticed. "I'm not sure that's a moral choice..."

The medical codex was clear enough in cases of saving life in order: first young women, then children and young adults, then adults, last elderly. A young woman might be pregnant - in that case, the medic might be saving two lives instead of one, that's why it's the first priority. I knew that my friend, Piper, was not pregnant. The matter remained whether or not I was going to share that knowledge. Whether or not I would choose her life over a young child I didn't know.

I took out the packet of Mentants and looked at it for a second. Danse had always been strict about even _owning_ chems, much less using them. Valentine had literally thrown out the last packet of the stuff he had seen. Besides, I wasn't a junkie... But I _was_ in despair. And those were the ultimate brain-sharpener. I took a pill without much thinking.

It was almost as though someone had turned on the lights - my mind became that much clearer! And I knew _exactly_ what to do with the cure to make it work out in the little time we had.

"We'll split it," I said. "We'll split it."

"No, we can't." Doctor Forsythe breathed out slowly. "Half a dose isn't sure to work, and if we use the only one we have, there'll only be damage."

"Oh no, we're not splitting one dose," I laughed. My Mentats-sharpened brain was amused of how slowly the man was thinking. "We're splitting the _cure_. You'll give it to Austin and then, we'll extract the chemical compound from his blood, if it works at all."

"What...? I'm sorry, but I think that's a bit out of my area of expertise... As well as my capabilities."

"Oh, it's fine." I waved a hand. "This here is Curie." I nodded at the robot. "She developed the cure - and I'm pretty sure she can extract it from another compound."

"That _is_ possible," Curie noticed. "Oh, my! This is so fascinating!"

"Get _to_ it," I said, half-irritated, half-smug. "Let's start saving lives."

oooOOO***OOOooo

I don't know how long I spent there with the two Vault 81 doctors, Curie, and the two patients, doing things I wouldn't probably even _understand_ in other conditions. The Mentats wore off after like half an hour, but I didn't say anything (even though I felt just stupid without their influence). I mostly just did errands anyway - catch a microscope, try to join those two samples... In the end, I was more of a nuisance than I was of help, and they made me wait outside the clinic.

I nervously played with my Pip-Boy, sitting on a bench in the hall.

"Nice Pip-Boy," someone said. I barely glanced up at the man. He was dressed in a blue Vault 81 jumpsuit - like everyone here, actually. They probably didn't even _have_ other clothes.

"What, don't you have your ow-" It was only then that I was hit by a strange realization. I took a second look at him. "Oh. My God." I bit my lip to stifle a laugh. "Oh my God."

"Oh, by all means, have your fun." Danse sighed heavily, sitting next to me. "Is it that unusual to see me out of uniform?"

"First of all, yes, it is, and second of all, it's the Vault suit that's funny."

"What about it?" He asked.

"Oh, nothing, but it's blue and yellow. Isn't that as though you _want_ the enemy to notice you?"

"...Alright, I'll admit that the joke is on me." He smiled a bit. "But for the record, I would much prefer my uniform."

"Well, I can lend you mine, but it's like three sizes too small and female."

There was a moment of silence. "What about Piper?"

"She'll be alright. I hope." I raised an eyebrow, looking at the sling over his neck. "What about _you?"_

"Broken arm? It's a pretty usual injury. I would give it three days or so."

I looked away. Three days was too short, but I didn't want to argue. "And what about Cait?"

"I talked to her, she told me everything... I'm very grateful that you've decided to let her go with us. You have no idea how much it means to me."

"Glad to be of help, sir. As always, you can count on me."

"Sir?" He repeated, raising an eyebrow. "Is that how you think of me?"

"No, Danse, it's..." I laughed. "No, it's not."

"That's good... Because, to be honest, neither do I."

I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Good," I agreed.

The next day, we were preparing to leave the Vault. The Overseer told me that the cure derived from Austin's blood only worked against the molerat disease and they would prefer to keep it within the Vault, but Doctor Forsythe told me that there was one batch of fully-working broad spectrum cures (as Curie called them). One of them had been used to heal Piper, two he wanted to keep locked in a safe for special emergencies, but the last one I was allowed to take into the Wasteland.

We had the cure for all human diseases. If there was any better way to start working on making the world a better place, I didn't see it.

Cait and Danse were talking about something - I didn't really know what it was, but they seemed to get along surprisingly well. Actually, I wouldn't call either of them an easy-going person, but somehow, they managed to be this friendly after knowing each other for only two days. So maybe it _is_ true that shared traumatic events strengthen bonds.

Piper was packing all of the gifts the Vault's residents had decided to give us. While at first we had been treated with reserve, now that we had saved Austin's life, we were treated as heroes. We had gotten free food and, of course, a place to stay those two nights.

Dogmeat was playing (I hope it was just playing and nothing more brutal) with a cat one of the kids owned.

I was looking at my friends with what I couldn't describe with a better word than commitment. I knew the Commonwealth was dangerous, that maybe one day, one of us would die or even worse... But I felt inclined to stick with those people. Together.

"Excuse me, madam?" Someone poked me on the shoulder and I knew it was Curie, the medical robot, even before I turned around to face her. The French accent was unmistakable.

"Yes? What is it, Curie?"

"I can see that you're preparing to leave the Vault now and I cannot help but wonder..." She looked around. "I have learned all there was to learn in this Vault and my scientist nature urges me to go out and observe what that 'Commonwealth' is like now. It is my foremost mission to collect data on the state of the world and put it to good use. I see that you already have company - and I do not wish to intrude - but please, madam, will you take me with you?"

"Wow..." I shook my head. "I mean, sure. We don't have a medic on the team. You could be useful, you know?"

"Excellent!" She exclaimed happily. "We must embark at once, then!"

"Yeah. But... be warned, it's a scary world out there."

The 'scary world' decided to give us a break, apparently, because we managed to spend a whole day in relative peace.

I wanted to get Danse on the Prydwen so that he would recover in a safe place, so east Boston was where we were headed. I had the great idea to use his power armor as a stabilization for the broken bone, and it was working much better than I had suspected it would. He didn't even need a cast (although I doubted they even used that practice in the Wasteland).

One day. That was exactly as long as it took for us to get into a fight.

First day of December - it was still rather sunny, but I expected winter to hit hard within three weeks. We were in good spirits, Piper and me even joking about how our party had doubled its size in just one day. It was strange, though - I felt as though this wouldn't last. This would be just a temporary setting... We couldn't go gallowing through the Commonwealth as four people, a dog, and a robot - that was sure to attract attention (as if a suit of power armor wasn't enough). And I wasn't sure if attention was what we needed.

We were passing the river, so we had to be extremely careful. The bridges were always dangerous places - they were often used by super mutants or raiders as ambush points. I was in the vanguard, looking out for dangers ahead of us, and Danse was closing the group.

"It's a shame we don't have a sniper," I muttered bitterly. The way I saw it, Cait was a melee fighter, Danse was heavy assault, I was light assault, Piper was support, and Curie was a medic... Maybe I had been reading up too much on military tactics, but I couldn't help thinking about us that way. At least in the combat settings, it was important.

I looked around warily. I could sense a fight in the air.

Then, it happened a bit too fast for my liking: I saw the silhouette of a man on the road ahead (God damn all those abandoned cars; I couldn't see anything), someone shouted something to someone, I turned around to warn my companions, and I got shot.

From then on, it was pretty simple. Curie threw herself in my direction, immediately assessing if I had been hurt too much (I hadn't - in fact, the bullet didn't even penetrate my armor. There'd probably be a bruise, but that's all.), Piper and Cait sought cover behind some of the cars while people from the other side of the bridge did more or less the same. It was the usual, then.

I told Curie to lay low and threw myself into the fight. I took out my automatic laser pistol and waited for our enemies to lean out to shoot. Raiders? Scavengers? I wasn't sure who they were, but they _had_ started shooting at us.

A woman's head appeared above the rust-covered hood of a car, and I aimed my pistol there. She swore loudly, but managed to duck before I could hit her.

"Which of you idiots fired that shot?!" Someone called out. I wrinkled my forehead, thinking hard. No... Yet still?

I felt my eyes widen.

"Don't shoot!" I screamed to both sides as I raised my arms. "Stop shooting!"

"Huh?" Danse looked at me as if I were insane.

"What the-" the surprisingly familiar voice from the other camp called out. "Hold on. Nora?!"

"Garvey?" I adjusted my glasses on my nose. "Hah! It's you!"

We embraced each other happily.

"I knew you wouldn't let the Commonwealth bring you down!" He laughed, patting me on the back.

"What are you doing here?!" I exclaimed.

"Remember what I told you about rebuilding the Minutemen? I've really got a thing going now and..."

Danse cleared his throat.

"Oh!" I took the cue to introduce everyone. "By the way, I'm in the Brotherhood of Steel now. This is Paladin Danse, my commanding officer. And... And a very close friend of mine as well."

"Pleased to meetcha, Paladin." Preston Garvey offered him a handshake. For a moment, I was afraid he wouldn't accept it, but in the end they just shook hands like normal people. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"And this is..." I began, but Piper surprised me by just waving a hand at me in a dismissive way.

"No worries, Blue. We've... crossed paths before. Ain't that right, Garvey?"

He spread out his arms. "Piper Wright. I don't think anyone could forget meeting you."

"But, still..." I had the widest smile on my face. "What are you doing here?"

"We were... securing the perimeter." He nodded at his companions - two young men and a middle-aged woman. They were all dressed in a similar way, and I was guessing it was the standard Minuteman... maybe not 'uniform', but outfit. "Oh, but Nora... I don't know how to thank you."

I laughed nervously. "Well, if you wanna chat, we'd better do it somewhere that's less of an open space. It's... not really safe."

"If you're looking for a safe place to spend the night, the Minutemen are always ready to offer."

We exchanged glances. I had to admit that this reunion was something I hadn't expected - and it was one of the most pleasant surprises of the last few months.

"Oh, sure," Piper said. "That would be... amazing. Really."

"Alright..." Preston looked at his friends, then at my friends. "Come along, we'll show you the way."

He headed towards the front of the group, but I fell back, wanting to guard our rear. I absently noticed that Danse waited too.

"You've got friends," he noticed.

"More like acquaintances, but... yeah." I smiled. "I guess I do. What? Is there a problem?"

"The Minutemen," he said quietly. "A noble idea with poor execution. No one can deny they used to be a beacon of hope, but that fire died several years ago. It is now _our_ place to carry the flame. Just don't forget that, Nora."

"Carrying the flame, are we?" I tilted my head. "Who's to say it won't burn sometime?"

"Right you are, Knight..." He paused. "But burns heal."

"Of course," I replied. "Only with time, though."

Cait looked at us.

"You two have some _serious_ issues."

oooOOO***OOOooo

"Wow," I said.

We were looking at what had to be the Minutemen's headquarters. And I was very impressed. Mostly because I knew that place already and I was surprised by how well they had managed to manage it back to usefulness.

"Fort Independence. You settled down in Fort Independence." I looked around. "Wow... That's just... wow."

"Fort Independence," Preston repeated. "Yes, it _was_ called that. It was also called Castle Williams and Fort Adams in different moments of history... The Minutemen prefer to call it just 'the Castle'. It used to be our main headquarters before everything fell apart..." He bit his lip. "We only took it back a few days ago, but before that, the place was swarming with mirelurks."

"What are mirelurks?" I asked. Almost everyone looked at me, so I winced. "Alright, it's something mutated which I will recognize the moment I see it. Fine."

"Still... Wow, man, I'm really impressed that you managed to actually raise the Minutemen from the, uh, ashes..." I nervously scratched my neck. There were at least thirty men and women in the Castle - not an army yet, but definitely a force to be reckoned with. "I feel so stupid that I didn't think it was gonna work out."

"I hold no grudges." He laughed good-heartedly. "If it weren't for you, none of us would be here at all, so you've still played a part in this."

I sighed.

"You see, I leave you for two months and you do _this_. You leave me for two months and all I get is a _blimp_ in the sky."

Danse seemed offended. "Excuse me, but that's my _home_."

"Well, the Prydwen's a great blimp," I said quickly. "Really. In the gradation of blimps, it scores very high. It's an amazing blimp." I could see Piper trying very hard not to laugh at my words. "But it's not a fortified bastion, you know."

"I'm glad you like it. The price we had to pay to retake it almost made me doubt whether it was worth it at all..."

"Are you kiddin'? This is amazing." Cait smiled a bit. "And I don't say that often."

"You said you've got wounded after retaking the Castle?" I asked. Preston nodded. "Curie here is a doctor, I'm sure she'll want to help."

"The comeback of the Minutemen," Piper said absently after Curie dragged the reluctant Cait to the wounded. "That is something worth recording."

"Weren't you supposed to be writing an article on the Brotherhood of Steel?" I asked. "Now, I feel betrayed."

"Hey, I didn't wait forty years for the Brotherhood of Steel," she laughed. "I'll just be a moment. Who's in charge here?"

Preston Garvey shrugged. "No one, at the moment. But you might want to talk to Ronnie - she's been organizing most stuff."

"Thanks." Piper waved us goodbye with her notebook. I sighed, already pitying that Ronnie. When Piper got into journalist mode, she could be really scary. She had seriously freaked out some of Vault 81's citizens when she had asked which of the dangers of the Commonwealth were the ones that made them live underground.

There was a moment of silence, but it wasn't the awkward one I would have expected. It was almost... content.

"I never thought places like this are still around," I said. "Even though this's been hit pretty badly, to be honest."

 _"I'm_ impressed." Danse sighed fondly. "It's monuments like this that remind me why I became a soldier in the first place."

"I can show you around, if you want," Preston offered. "I'd like to talk to Nora alone right now, but you go on and make yourself comfortable."

"That's very kind of you." Danse nodded curtly. "I appreciate it."

He walked away into the Castle too, leaving the two of us alone. I exhaled slowly.

"So..." I said. There was a moment of silence, because that was the only thing I could think of. "So."

"Yes." Preston glanced at me. "You said the blimp is yours?"

I was surprised by this choice of subject, but I nodded. "Well, ours like Brotherhood-of-Steel-ours, but yes." I shut my eyes. "Why are you asking?"

"Because you can see it from here. Come on." He grabbed my hand and led me outside of the walls, to the shore. The Castle was on an island (although it was more of a peninsula now), so I had been expecting to see water. I wasn't expecting to see the Prydwen in the sky above the airport on the other side of the bay. The setting sun painted the dark blue sky a reddish orange color, making the ship's silhouette look marvelous on the colorful background.

"Wow," I said due to lack of anything better to say.

"Yes, I actually agree. We all come down here to look at it every now and then..." He looked away. "Wondering if it's dangerous. Hostile."

"Oh, we're not!" I assured him quickly. "We are the _total_ opposite of hostile."

"I know the Brotherhood of Steel isn't hostile... But that doesn't answer the question of whether they're dangerous."

We sat down on the yellowish grass, just by the water, and watched the sun set.

"Do you trust me?" I asked quietly.

"It would be weird if I didn't trust the woman who saved my life." He tipped his hat. "Of course I do."

"Then, about the Brotherhood... I trust them. I hope it means something to you."

"It does... Actually, it means more than you think. Nora..." Preston seemed uncomfortable, and I couldn't help but wonder what he was meaning to say. "I've been watching the Minutemen fall to pieces for so long that I almost lost all hope... There I was, the last one clinging to the belief that there's still some good in humanity that's worth fighting for, with full knowledge that everyone else had either abandoned that belief or died... And you came along. You gave us your time, your help, you didn't want anything in return, you weren't afraid of telling the truth about you... You gave me hope, Nora. And that was something I'd been losing for years. So I started looking. Asking. Helping people out... And I found out that they want to help in return, so I started recruiting into the Minutemen. Eventually, there were enough of us to retake the Castle, and..." He drifted off, gazing at me with what I could only describe as respect. "It's all thanks to you."

I blushed. I liked being complimented, but he was giving me a way too much credit.

"And I'm getting to the point." He paused. "The Minutemen didn't have a general since 2240. Nora... Would you take that position?"

I opened my mouth.

"Huh?" I asked, not very elegantly, and not general-like at all.

"I know it seems off the top of the hat, but I've actually given it a lot of thought. You're the best suited to lead the Minutemen."

"I don't think that's a good idea," I said. "I really don't."

"You just take your time." He stood up and offered me a helping hand. A month ago, I wouldn't even have considered accepting the help, but I'd learned to trust people. And I had to admit, I mostly had Danse and Piper to thank for it. "I know it's a big proposal, and that I'm dropping it at you all of a sudden... How about you think it through and let me know at dinner?"

"It's nine. What time do you eat dinner?" I laughed. He smiled back at me.

"It differs. Come on, let's head back inside."

One thing about the Castle: it was big. It was big enough to house all those Minutemen, without even using the courtyard for sleeping. Instead, they used it as a... dining area, apparently. They had set up several picnic tables and benches inside the fort and set up several barbecues. I had to admit that this change from canned food was very welcome.

I stood by the grill, wondering what food to take onto my plate. The problem with all those Wasteland animals was that I had no idea what any of them would taste like. Brahmin like a cow, hopefully.

"Choosin' food?" Cait walked up to me, laughing a bit. I could smell beer from her, so that was it about staying sharp and alert. We had officially decided the Minutemen were trustworthy. "Lemme help you: take a bit of everythin'."

"Thanks." I smiled bitterly. "That'll do."

"In all honesty, though," Piper smiled at me, "you haven't lived 'till you've tasted a radstag steak."

"I'll give it a shot," I promised.

I took some food and placed it on my plate. I looked around. Everyone seemed so happy here. My friends, untrusting and reserved people, were all going along perfectly well with the Minutemen. So maybe... Maybe it wasn't a bad idea to join them... But both the Minutemen and the Brotherhood? Would I manage being a member of _two_ military forces?

I wasn't sure of that.

I sat down by an empty table. It was getting dark very quickly and I could for the first time really feel that my Brotherhood uniform was warmer than the Vault 111 jumpsuit I was wearing. Even Danse's bomber jacket didn't help. I shivered a little.

I had too many problems.

"I have to admit," Paladin Danse said as he sat down beside me, "that these people are surprisingly well-organized for a civilian militia force."

I looked at him, surprised. My mind was still on Preston's proposal, and comments like that only made me doubt my decision of not getting involved with the Minutemen.

"They taught you that in your Vault?" I snorted, the only snarky comment on his blue Vault 81 jumpsuit I could come up with. Sitting together like that, I suppose someone could have thought we really were Vault dwellers.

"Very funny, Nora," he deadpanned. "High-elevated humor. You must be proud of yourself."

And now, the joke was on _me_. How did he do that?

"So," Piper loudly set down a tray of food on the table. "Is it me or are we making new friends surprisingly quickly?"

Danse and I exchanged glances.

"What do you mean?" I asked, putting my food aside.

"Well, you know... Three days ago, it's the three of us like it's always been..."

I ostentatiously threw Dogmeat some food.

"Four," Piper corrected herself. "Four of us, fine. Anyway, just three days ago, it's just the three of us. And then, all of a sudden, we're in that Vault with young Cait-"

 _"Danse_ wanted to take her," I protested.

"-and then, you take Curie too... And now, we're _here_. At least forty people and they all seem to like you." She took a sip of the Nuka-Cola she had found somewhere. "Now, don't take me wrong, but aren't we straying away a bit?"

"Away from what?" I asked.

"From our main goal. And that's not making thousands of friends, that's finding the Institute." Piper looked down. "I've learned that doing the right thing rarely makes you popular... But I wouldn't be able to live with myself otherwise."

"Piper-" Danse began.

"No, I just... I just wanna know that we're heading somewhere. That we're doing the right thing."

"We are." I smiled. "Actually, I think that it's good to have friends in many places in our line of work. If, God forbid, we find the Institute and the only way out is a war... Then, it'd be best to have as many allies as we can."

"Far-sighted tactical thinking," Danse noticed. _"That's_ what I like about you, Nora. Thinking ahead, selfless ideology..."

I blushed, a bit flustered. Why was everyone being so nice to me tonight? Even the never-giving-compliments Paladin Danse decided to make me feel nice. _Maybe I shouldn't be that rude to him from now on... If I manage._

Oh, who was I kidding? I wouldn't manage a _day_ without making a joke on his expense. Maybe I did spend too much time with Piper after all, because I could see bits of her sense of humor reflecting in mine.

"Hey, journalist girl?" An older woman called out. Piper grinned and stood up.

"Right here!" She waved.

The woman made her way to our table. "Preston told me you wanted an interview or something like that?"

Piper beamed happiness.

"Oh, sure!" She shook the woman's hand. "My name is Piper, hi, and over here are Knight Nora and Paladin Danse from the Brotherhood of..." She looked at us. "Vault-Tec, apparently."

oooOOO***OOOooo

I managed to effectively avoid Preston Garvey for the rest of the evening and, to be honest, I was both proud and ashamed of myself for doing that.

I patiently listened as Piper asked that Ronnie woman all sorts of questions, but I had to leg it when she decided to write a comparison paper on the Brotherhood of Steel and the Minutemen and looked at me as if I were her next prey.

I even went down to the barracks to check if Curie needed any help with tending to the wounded, but she was in her spirit - if I _could_ use that expression for a robot - and even if I tried helping, I would have ended up just coming in her way.

The highlight of my evening was stumbling upon Codsworth, who was tending to a batch of corn. Apparently, my last order, which was taking care of Preston and the settlers, had overriden his programming of staying at home. It was strange, seeing him again, but it was also comforting to know that I'd done some good - apparently, the robot's presence ensured the Minutemen didn't have to tend to the crops, since he did it for them.

I was a bit bummed to learn that Sanctuary Hills hadn't worked out - apparently, after a particularly bad radiation storm hit the town, the settlers had to leave due to the effects of lingering radiation. But maybe that was for the best? It was a place of death, it had always been... People weren't supposed to live there.

Sturges was overjoyed to see me, and even more so to learn I've got an actual Brotherhood of Steel soldier travelling with me (he didn't seem to acknowledge that I myself was one too), because they were 'the power armor guys'. Judging by the spark in his eyes, I was afraid of letting him even _look_ at Danse's power armor.

Of course, all that maneuvering gave me no result at all, because Preston managed to find me anyway - and I felt that I was a terrible, terrible person for avoiding him for that long. The thing was... I was scared of commitment like that.

It wasn't Paladin Danse, a stranger, asking me to _join_ the Brotherhood of Steel. It was Preston Garvey, someone whom I knew, asking me to _lead_ the Minutemen. I was afraid of being a leader.

I was afraid of... my actions having actual consequences. Of having others depend on me. Wasn't that what Danse had told me about? It hurt to see what it was doing to him - what could it do to me? And, completely objectively, Danse had always been more suited for leading others than me. I was more of a soldier of fortune, even if I was still a soldier. And that was something Preston Garvey did not understand.

I was just glad to have Piper by my side when he found me - her presence had always made me feel more confident. Preston, however, must have noticed my scared expression, because he gave me a reassuring smile.

"It's alright!" He said. "You don't have to decide anything. I already chose that you should be the General. That's about it."

"But I can't," I said quickly. "Thanks for the trust, but... I don't deserve it. And even if I did, I wouldn't be able to do it."

He blinked and only after I stopped talking did I realize how quiet it was. They were waiting for me to say something.

"...Why?" He asked finally.

"Promises," I said quietly. There was a long silence, then, and Preston just looked at me. Without a word, just... waiting. "Have it to themselves... That they demand to be kept. Loyalty to a faction is no different from a promise given to another person. And if you give too many promises... You might not be able to keep them all." I paused. I was sure there were tears in my eyes, and I blinked to get rid of them. "I don't want to become that. I don't want... everyone to have influence upon me. I want to be able to make my own choices."

Piper gave me a smile that said "I'm proud of you". I felt a bit more confidence building up inside of me.

"I've joined the Brotherhood of Steel. That was my own choice. And I'm asking you... Not as a general, or a soldier or... I don't know, _whatever_ you think of me," I gave a small laugh as I rubbed my neck nervously. "I ask you as another person... Please. Don't make do this. Don't make me _become_ this." I narrowed my eyes and shook my head. "If I choose to help you, I do it out of my own, unforced will. That was then, but now? My loyalty lies with the Brotherhood now. And I hope that you accept... and understand that."

"Very well, General." Preston smiled as he looked down at the ground. "But you've not changed anything in my eyes." He looked up at me. "You are the leader of the Minutemen."

"I..." I was dumbstruck. I had been expecting him to be angry at me for getting involved in another faction. I hadn't expected... acceptance. I just wasn't ready for that. "I think you should choose someone else, if you really don't want to be in that position yourself, because... Uh... I don't think..." Words were coming to me with difficulty now. "You would want... your leader to be... to... to respond... to another organization. You wouldn't want the person who commands you to be under commandment of someone else." There was a moment of silence. I held my head up high, eyes fixed on the horizon. "I answer to Elder Maxson," I said. "And, under him, Proctor Ingram - and under her, Paladin Danse. I am not... I'm not an independent entity in the way you would perceive another person. I am a member of an army, and that army has its own chain of command. And I am not on the highest position in that chain. I want you to realize and be aware of the fact that... I may not be entirely objective. I may not be objective at all."

He laughed.

"You're trying to discourage me, but..." He huffed in amusement. "All you've proved with your speech is that you are the best choice I could have given to the Minutemen. If you trust the Brotherhood of Steel, then we will follow you. Even if you are following someone else." His hand touched mine, and I looked up at him. "I trust you." He smiled. "So do the people, for that matter. You've saved so many! They owe everything they have to you - and so do I. So please... Don't try to justify your actions. Because you don't need to."

I didn't know what to say.

He hugged me closely and it took me a second to return the hug, I was still so shocked.

"And don't patronize yourself... General."

And that was when the perfect idea came to my mind. Why hadn't I thought of it earlier?

"Lieutenant General, maybe," I said, making it sound like a question. Preston raised an eyebrow. "I mean, you've been running the Minutemen pretty successfully during those last two months. I think you're more suited for this because you've got experience." I was smiling widely now. It was so, _so_ easy. So clear. "And I'll be there to support you if you need help, I'll just be a bit less important. How does that sound?"

"It sounds like the Minutemen have a clear chain of command now." Preston smiled. "It sounds fine."

I smiled and bowed my head slightly. "General."

He tipped his hat at me before taking Danse to show him around the Castle. I let out a breath, glad to have that behind me.

Piper walked up to me and patted me on the back.

"Wow, Blue. I had no idea you were such a big catch. The Brotherhood of Steel respects you, the Minutemen practically kneel down before your feet..." She laughed. "Nora Smith, overlord of the Commonwealth."

"Shut up," I complained. She gave me a smirk.

"Not a chance."

"And don't use that last name." I looked away. "It's not mine anymore. That's the name of a dead man."

"Oh." She bit her lip. "Sorry."

"But that's good... I'm moving on. Aren't I?"

My hand automatically went to touch my old wedding ring, but it wasn't even there anymore. I had decided to give that up... To save Danse's life? It was a small price to pay.

Truly, I was letting go of my past. It hurt a lot more than I had thought it would - two hundred and ten years - but I was learning to let go. But could I really call that moving on? I was still looking for Shaun. I was reluctant to get into a relationship.

I knew that Nick had told me the truth - love is always a comfort for the aching heart. But, even knowing that, I didn't want to let it in. And _that_ was definitely not moving on.

"So I'm the second general of the Minutemen now," I said numbly. "That's new."

Piper laughed gently. "Yes, ma'am."

I looked at the sky. I didn't know what time it was, but it was late enough for all stars to be seen very clearly.

"It's getting late," I noticed. "Where do you think we can sleep?"

"There's a place in the western wing, plenty of empty beds... Well, sleeping bags."

So the Minutemen had a low budget, too. I idly wondered if I should be worried about such things now. I didn't really want to - besides, I hadn't been planning on staying here for too long. Did this mean I was supposed to?

I kind of didn't want to.

I was walking through the corridors of the Castle, looking for the common room, when I passed a door that was left slightly ajar. I could hear the muffled sound of a conversation from inside, but it didn't bother me much until I recognized the voices.

"-and thank you for taking care of her," Danse was saying. I froze dead in my tracks when I heard the words 'thank you' actually coming out of his mouth. What was...? "I can't even express how grateful I am."

 _What?_

"I didn't do anything," Preston Garvey protested. "It was all just Nora. She saved us from some raiders, that's how we met. And after that, she's been nothing but helpful. With everything. All I did was provide some guidance."

"I'm glad you did. This woman means more to me than I dare admit," Danse said. I pressed myself closer to the wall, not anymore denying that I was eavesdropping. I wanted to hear where that conversation would go. "It's kind of scary, actually. I haven't had a close friend for a long time." Said my best friend.

"It is. I've seen people come and go. Getting emotionally attached and then losing someone... It can break you."

"Is that why you have joined the Minutemen?" There was a pause. "Forgive me if I'm being intrusive..."

"It's fine. I suppose that's why you joined the Brotherhood of Steel."

"I want you to know that the Brotherhood is not here to start a war. We are not that different, you and I. The Minutemen work on the same principles as we do, all that differs is the level of organization."

"I hoped someone from the Brotherhood would see that. I wouldn't want us to find ourselves on two different sides of a conflict."

"I'm glad we understand each other."

Boys and their friendly threats. Ugh.

"Wow, Blue." Piper's voice sounded surprisingly close to my ear. I jumped away from the door, assuming the most innocent expression I could. She whistled. "I never took you for that eavesdropping-on-allies kind of person."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said, trying not to lose the last bits of dignity I had.

She laughed. "Yeah. You keep telling yourself that."

Level up.  
New Perk: Close Ties - the Commonwealth may be deadly, but it's a lot safer with friends! All your companions now resist 10% more damage from mutated creatures and radiation.


	19. Long Road Ahead

**Chapter Seventeen  
Long Road Ahead  
**

* * *

My main job as the vice-general of the Minutemen was, apparently, recruiting new volunteers into our ranks. That made sense - it was a volunteer militia force, after all, and even though I was impressed with the numbers Preston had managed to gather, they weren't big. And, unlike the Brotherhood, the only other big volunteer army out there, the Minutemen didn't have much to offer. I was trying very hard to think about the greater good and all that, but I often found myself realizing how the Brotherhood would have done something better. Or how just one Paladin would be enough to take out ten of those untrained, unprepared... Paladin? A Knight-Sergeant would do. Hell, I was convinced _I_ would do.

I tried to block these thoughts, but they came to me anyway. It didn't help that Preston and Danse were getting along very well. If Danse could see that the Minutemen were worth a while, why couldn't I?

That was making me slightly angry.

So I tried to do something with that anger. I decided to change it into leadership - hopefully, a strong one. The first thing I did was putting some routine into the Minutemen's day - training exercise, taking routes patrolling the perimeter... I tried very hard to tell myself that those weren't things I had learned in the Brotherhood of Steel. I didn't believe it.

During the three days we spent at the Castle (three days, compared to the one night that had been our initiate plan, seemed a lot), I did so many recruiting runs that, for the first time in those two months, my feet were feeling weary. I helped people with all sorts of problems - usually a gang of raiders or super mutants camped nearby. Someone had been kidnapped. Someone had a herd of feral ghouls irradiate their farming spot. For the first time in those two months, I got to see what life in the Commonwealth was like for all those civilians I had barely acknowledged before. And, even if they did need help, they were getting on pretty well.

When they asked what they could do in return, I always declined money. At first, I was just telling them to join the Minutemen, but then I got to more personalized requests. I asked this man for some firewood because we were running low. I told the Brahmin raiser to consider giving up one milking cow. I asked the couple who were growing corn to send some food to the Brotherhood of Steel and they agreed to donate weekly. The Brotherhood, the Minutemen... It was all mixed up in my head now. I knew why I had started, but who was I doing this for?

I just wanted to do good for everyone. And that was hard, working for two different organizations at once.

So I decided to do what I did best - run away from the trouble.

In my defense, we still had the Institute to deal with. Danse and I had to report to Elder Maxson within four days and if we didn't do any progress, our mission would begin to look unnecessary. The Elder probably wouldn't cancel it, but he _could_ take away Danse's funding. If that happened, we would have to find some way to earn money, and that would set us back even more.

What surprised me when I announced that we were leaving was that Curie and Codsworth declared that they were staying. I had been watching the two of them interact during the last three days with, I have to admit, growing interest, but it was Curie's demeanor towards the wounded Minutemen that had grabbed my attention. It was clear this was where she was needed, where she could do something to help.

I asked if she was alright with abandoning her research about the Commonwealth.

"Why, madam," she said, "one must do whatever causes the most good!"

I swear, that little robot could teach a lot of people many things.

Naïve and gullible as she was, there was something endearing about Curie's desire to help others.

I looked around, gathering people who might want to come with me. Preston Garvey was trying to settle some argument between two Minutemen and by the look of it, he wasn't doing that great. I had offered him to tag along, but he had declined. At least one of us should stay at the Castle, he had said.

Piper, scribbling angrily in her notebook, was sitting at the same table as me, Danse's backpack and her bag lying nearby. If there was anyone who looked ready to go, it was her.

Danse was showing Cait how to shoot a shotgun, from what I could see. He had long given up on giving her automatic guns, seeing that she didn't really keep up with the pace. The shotgun, surprisingly, seemed to work out just well for her.

"He used to do that with _me_ ," I growled. Piper laughed.

"What, you jealous?" She asked. She tapped her chin with the pen, thoughtful. "Of Danse or Cait?"

I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not jealous, I just... Look at them, what is she, his daughter?" I narrowed my brows. "Because it really looks like that."

"She's nineteen. Don't blame her for seeking out parent figures."

"No, but... It's not like that. I mean, _you're_ nineteen and I don't see you clinging to Preston."

Piper gave me a look.

"I'm twenty-two."

oooOOO***OOOooo

"So what you're doin' lookin' for a way in the Institute," Cait summed up when we were back on the road, "is you're aimlessly wanderin' about."

I tapped my fingernails on the revolver holstered on my hip.

"It's not the best of plans," I admitted. "But it's pretty much all we have."

Cait looked at us. "So this is what the three of you do? You're _lookin_ _'_ for the trouble that's gonna find you anyway?"

"No, not the three of us. Just the two of them," Piper said. "I'm just tagging along."

The younger girl narrowed her eyes.

"Why?"

"I- ah... Um..." Piper stammered, surprised by that question. "Ah.."

"Does she _need_ a reason?" I asked.

"No..." Cait shot Piper an askew look, making the journalist wince uncomfortably. "But I figure everyone has a reason for what they do."

Not that we weren't getting along, but I honestly didn't know what Danse saw in that girl. (Aside from, of course, himself.) She could disappear for like five minutes several times a day and never once explained what she was doing during that time. The problem was that Danse desperately wanted to help her out, so Piper and I had to tolerate her presence. Not to take this on the wrong side, Cait _had_ saved my life and vice versa and we _had_ had some heartfelt conversations. I wasn't against her coming with us.

What I _was_ against, though, was her slamming the door shut after we walked into a pre-War warehouse. Especially since Piper was still outside at the moment.

"Cait?!" I exclaimed, startled. "What the hell is going on?"

This whole situation went up to the 'threat' level in my head. Danger. This was clearly dangerous, Cait had to be...

She looked at us, tears in her eyes.

I stopped when I saw the way she was breathing heavily, the way she looked completely devastated. For a fraction of a second, I felt embarrassed for accusing her of anything.

"I needed to talk to you," she said, looking straight at Danse. She glanced at me, too, but only briefly. "Both of you, I guess, but him mostly."

I bit my lip, trying not to feel excluded. She _had_ included me.

"Whatever it is, I hope it's something important enough to shut Piper out," I said.

"Do you think I would be fuckin' around with you?" Cait exclaimed. "I'm tryin' to be honest here, and it's hard enough without you bein' all snarky!"

"How about you don't mind whatever Nora decides to interpose and simply tell me what's the problem?" Danse asked calmly, always the fucking knight in shining armor. Why couldn't he just be rude, at least once? He was making _me_ look bad. "I can't promise that we'll know how to deal with it, but I _can_ promise that we will try. _Both_ of us. Am I right, Nora?"

Stupid peer pressure. "Of course, you're right," I mumbled. I exhaled slowly. "Cait... Whatever it is, we're here to help you. That's what friends are for."

She looked down, at her feet.

"I was hopin' you'd say that. Because I need friends more than anythin' right now. I'm..." She shook her head, tears in her eyes and all of a sudden, I realized that I hadn't seen any of my friends cry before. "I'm sick! I'm really, really sick."

"You look fine," I noticed. I didn't mean to be rude, but it had slipped out almost without my consent. I winced. "It's not anything... terminal, is it? Cancer?"

"No, it's... I'm... Life with raiders wasn't easy livin'. And a few years back, I started takin' Psycho. It wasn't anythin' big, alright? Just... just me tryin' to escape me shitty life!" She was surprisingly nervous now. "I know I look like that tough Irish gal, but I'm really not that tough! And now with you people, I... I'm finally feelin' like there's hope for me, y'know?" She bit her lip. "So I've tried quittin', but... I just can't! I can't."

She looked at us.

"I cannot quit," she said, quietly now. "So there you have it - this is me. I'm a drug addict tryin' to make friends with good folks." She gritted her teeth. "You're gonna throw me out now, aren't you?"

We exchanged glances.

"No," Danse said, shaking his head slightly. "We're going to take you to some doctor and cure this."

"Don't you think I've tried that?!" She exclaimed. "Good for nothin' doctor said I've been doin' this for too long."

"There's got to be a way," I said slowly. "These times, you can cure pretty much everything. And if there's a way, we'll find it." I smiled at her. "How does that sound?"

She cocked her head at me. "You're sayin' that, but..."

Danse looked at her, something I hadn't seen before in his eyes now. "Cait, I can assure you that I will _personally_ make sure you receive the proper treatment. You're a strong young woman and you deserve to live your life without the influence of any of those destructive habits." He exhaled slowly. "I will help you out. I swear."

Cait looked at me, then at him.

"You two are for real?" She whispered. "I can't believe you actually care. And _you_?" She looked at Danse. "You're just..."

She grabbed the handles of his power armor and pulled him in for a kiss. I opened my mouth, completely shocked. Danse was no less surprised than me, so when Cait pulled away, he had to blink a few times until he could find the strength to as much as clear his throat and look away.

"That's, um... I'm not certain if that was entirely appropriate..." He was clearly flustered. "I mean... I shouldn't..."

"You're gettin' me wrong. I'm just... I can't _believe_ how incredibly lucky I am to have you. That of all the people who would have sold me into slavery, thrown to their dogs, left to die, or I don't know what else... I stumbled upon you." She smiled through her tears. "You're all just amazin' people. Every one of you."

"That's why Piper, one of those amazing people, didn't get to hear any of that," I scoffed.

"This is my personal shite," Cait said in a low voice. "I decide who I share it with."

"Well," I said, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. There was only one left, ouch. "Knowing Piper, she's probably eavesdropping anyway, so..."

Danse just smiled, but Cait burst into laughter so loud that it had to be sincere. I joined her soon enough and I didn't even care that we were joking at the expense of my best friend, because we desperately needed to take the edge off, all three of us. Piper too, actually. Hell, _Dogmeat_ could use taking the edge off a bit.

Maybe we were being too serious about everything.

"What are we doing?" I asked quietly once Cait had walked away to apologize and explain to Piper.

Danse looked at me, surprised at the question.

"Well, I imagine we are helping this girl cure her chem addiction. Or at least, we are giving her hope for doing so."

I stared at him. "Dealing with people is not one of your strong sides, is it?" I sighed. "Listen, do you have any idea what you're doing here?"

"What... What _am_ I doing?"

Oh, my God. He really _was_ that clueless. I didn't know if I should cry or laugh.

"Well, she obviously sees you as a father figure of sorts or something like that, and the way you're contributing..." I had to bite my lip not to laugh when I saw his expression. "Are you even ready for that kind of responsibility? Because I don't wanna sound selfish, but you're already taking care of _me_."

"That's different. I definitely don't consider you my daughter, Nora." He nervously massaged his neck. "I'm... not so sure about Cait."

She should _not_ have kissed him - now he was getting all those mixed signals. Paladin Danse, the person with the lowest EQ I had ever met. It was kind of endearing, actually. Not that _everything_ he did wasn't endearing, because it was. _He_ was - in his own, awkward way.

"Anyway," I said, lighting the cigarette, "just wanted to make sure you know what you're doing." I stopped to hide the lighter into my pocket. I grinned at him. "We should get going, right?"

I knew that what he wanted to do at the moment was probably researching ways to quickly cure drug addiction, but we were very tight on schedule. In just four days, we were supposed to report to Elder Maxson with actual results. The thing was, we didn't have any. What we had instead was a young girl with a hard attitude to take care of.

 _This_ certainly hadn't been a part of our plans.

"Nora?"

I blinked and shook my head, trying to remember where I even was. Danse was looking down at me, the metal helmet of his armor showing no emotion whatsoever, but his voice concerned.

"I'm... fine," I said. I threw out my cigarette and put it out with my boot. "Let's just hit the road."

I couldn't tell if he was convinced, but he didn't say anything, so I assumed we were alright.

Here's the thing that's rewarding about friendship: if it's a true, close friendship, you're gonna end up solving each other's problems eventually. And not just the petty ones - the hardest, most complicated ones too. Cait had only known us for three days and she was already sharing those problems. Normally, I would have passed her off as someone who trusts people too easily, but given the circumstances, I was more inclined to believe she was just desperate. She probably hadn't ever had a friend in her life before.

"Hey, Blue?" Piper grabbed my arm as we were walking, prompting me to stop and fall back from the group.

"What is it?" I asked, checking if the others were looking. "You sound serious."

"Well... it _is_ serious. I've talked to Cait and... I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're a great person, and it only made me realize how much our friendship means to me."

"Well, Piper," I smiled, "that's what I like to think of us too. But if there's anything you want to say, you can go straight to business. I've already got _one_ Paladin Danse to deal with, so it'd be nice to talk to someone who doesn't beat around the bush all the time."

"Well... Yeah. It's just that you're really good with people and I've got this issue..." She bit her lip. "With my sister, Nat... And how she's becoming like me. It's scary."

"How come?" I asked, not really sure where this was headed.

"I mean, just... Look at the life we lead." Piper motioned all around us. "No offense, Blue, but personal safety isn't either of our strong suits. I can't have Nat ending up like her big sister, dodging bullets and running from all the people she pissed off. And she _is_ trying to be like me. It's part of the reason I'm on the road so much... Part of the reason I'm here with you."

"That's why you didn't want to stay with her," I realized.

"Yeah, I... I keep thinking maybe, if I make myself scarce, if I'm not around too much, she'll cool off. She'll just go back to being sweet, innocent Nat - papergirl and upstanding citizen. Is that wrong, Nora? Am I doing something really bad here?"

"Well, Piper," I laughed. "You're not gonna like this."

"Why? What is it?"

"It seems to me that your only problem is that your sister is growing up."

"You... You think?" Piper raised her eyebrows. "I mean... Yeah, I guess she is, but-"

"And you're scared of that, and that's fine. But, Piper..." I grabbed her hands. She looked at me, surprised. "You don't get to decide who Nat grows up to be. If she chooses you as her role model, you make sure you're the best one she can get." I paused. "You _don't_ do that by leaving her. You're just there for her. You love her, and make sure she knows you do." I shook my head. "Because you never know when you might lose her. Take this from someone who's lost what you have and _don't_ mess this up. Every moment is precious, you just need to know how to deal with those changes in your sister. She's not always gonna be your little girl, you know."

That sounded a bit harsher than I had intended. I didn't want to end it like that. I smiled at her.

"And, for the record, I'll be there for you if you ever need me."

"Oh, Blue..." The smile that lit up Piper's face was easily one of the most precious things I'd seen in the Commonwealth. She looked at me with gratefulness. "I don't deserve you."

I ran a hand through my hair.

"I'm so sorry to break this to you, Pipes, but I'm exactly what you deserve."

She laughed and embraced me tightly. I was surprised by that at first, but eventually wrapped my arms around her too. I closed my eyes and let out a steady breath. This was alright... Friendship was just fine in my book.

"Alright," Piper said as she pulled away from the hug. "Enough of this sappy business for now. The other guys are probably beginning to get worried by now. I reckon it's not a wise idea to keep them waiting too long."

"Yeah." I picked up my backpack and frowned as a realization hit me. I stood up and looked straight at her. I opened my mouth, but couldn't find the words for a moment, so I just stood there, backpack in hand, and looked blankly at her. "You're gonna go back to Diamond City now, aren't you."

Piper averted my gaze.

"Damn it." I angrily threw the backpack on my shoulders. "So you'll leave. If something happens to Danse, I'll end up alone again..." I shut my eyes. "I only have two friends here, you know? I don't wanna lose either of you."

"It's _not_ just two," Piper argued. "There's Nicky. Preston Garvey. Cait. I don't believe you haven't made friends in the Brotherhood of Steel. The Minutemen like you, too."

"It's not the same," I whispered. "They're not you."

She gave me a sad smile.

"You _were_ right, Blue. About spending time with family. I... I've got to be there for her. Especially after leaving. You understand this, right?"

I did. Of course I did.

That was the worst part.

oooOOO***OOOooo

Cait had never seen Diamond City before. From the moment we arrived at Fenway Park, she was looking around, excited, as if it were the best thing she had ever seen. She honestly so rarely looked happy that Piper even offered to buy her a beer at the inn. I smiled at that, even if I knew this was the beginning of a goodbye.

"So..." I folded my arms on my chest. "Haven't heard _your_ opinion yet. What do you think?"

"Of Diamond City?" Danse asked hesitantly. I nodded. "I think it's depressing that these people have to hide inside the stadium when there's all those perfectly well-preserved buildings outside."

That's why, I reminded myself, I should _not_ ask Paladin Danse things when I'm in a good mood. He always knew just the way to spoil it.

"Well, no one asked you anyway," I muttered.

 _"You_ asked," he pointed out.

That frustrated me enough to mumble something even I didn't fully understand and just march away.

I soon found myself at the door to Piper's house and with some surprise I realized that, aside from Nick's office and the market, it was the only place in Diamond City I knew the way to.

"Nora?" Nat called out. I turned to face her, smiling kindly despite the fact that she was, in a way, taking away my best friend. Kids deserved at least some happiness in this world. "You're back. Is- is Piper with you?"

I nodded. "Yeah. She went to grab something to drink with our friend, but... I think she'll be staying this time."

The joy in the girl's eyes was enough for me to know I had made the right decision. Family was the most important thing in the world - even if mine was gone, I still knew that.

"Actually," I said, "I think I'll go get her straight away." That was for the best. I couldn't be that selfish - Piper deserved to be with her sister now. And, perhaps even more, Nat deserved to be with hers.

I found Piper and Cait in the market, the former holding two bottles of beer while Cait drank a Nuka-Cola. I waved at them.

"There you are," Piper said with a smile. She hadn't been smiling that much lately... Was travelling with me bringing people down? I didn't like that thought.

Piper pushed one of the two bottles into my hands. It was cold and slightly damp... A familiar feeling.

"I don't think I should be drinking on duty," I said hesitantly. "Danse wouldn't really-"

"But he's not here, is he?" Piper grinned at me. "Besides, one beer is, like, no alcohol at all. Just let me treat you to _anything_ , Blue. Let's just celebrate."

"Oh, fine." I cracked the bottle open and hid the bottlecap in my pocket. "What are we celebrating?"

"Bein' alive?" Cait took a swig of her soft drink. "That's enough to celebrate."

I looked down. "Yeah. How about celebrating the fact that we've been looking for a month and we've still got nothing?"

I kicked a small pebble. It rolled away until it hit the metal wall of some house. I winced at the noise and immediately looked away, pretending I had nothing to do with it.

"Um... Nora?" Piper gently touched my arm. "There _is_ something you can do, if you really feel you're stuck... But I don't know if you'll want to."

I set the untouched bottle of beer on the counter of the noodle stand.

"What?" I asked. "No, wait. I'll want to, whatever it is. Just tell me-"

"You've _got_ to talk to Nick."

I gritted my teeth, shut my eyes. "No."

"Blue..."

"No, I won't! I... I don't know, he-"

" _Blue_." Piper shook her head. "I was as freaked out as you were, but it's just Nicky now. Haven't heard Kellogg even once since that day. He's not _possessed,_ he's not _reprogrammed_ , he's just Nick Valentine. He's your friend, and he wants to help you find your son." She grabbed my hands. Her were much warmer - I wondered how long until she noticed that about me. "Nick saw Kellogg's memories too. Maybe he noticed something you hadn't."

"I know, Piper, you've said this already, but Nick-"

"Is not Kellogg."

"-is a synth." I took in a deep breath. Suddenly, my throat felt dry and I had to drink some of that beer after all. "The Brotherhood of Steel is pretty clear about that. If I encounter a synth, I should destroy it right away."

"So?" She smirked. "Since when you're one to follow orders?"

I sighed. _Since I've met Paladin Danse._ "I'm not," I said aloud. "I'm _not._ " I tightened my grip on the bottle I was holding. "But you've got to promise to distract my problematic commanding officer while I go break all the ground rules of our order."

She nodded. "Good, but I've got Cait to do that. Right?"

Cait cocked her head at her. "I don't know, but if you're expectin' me to lie to Danse, I won't. He's been nothin' but supportive of me so far. I don't even like this idea of yours."

"No, don't lie, you just have to keep him busy..."

I walked away, deciding that Piper had it covered. As soon as I was away from the market and among the cutter of small houses, I felt a bit more secure. Diamond City was like a maze - no one would find me. And... how did you get to Nick's house again?

It took me maybe ten minutes of hopelessly wandering around those small alleys until I found a place from which I knew the way. It took me another ten minutes to stand in front of the door to the Valentine Detective Agency, wondering if this was a good idea at all. I didn't know if I would have the strength to knock on that door.

In the end, I didn't have to - Ellie swung it open, a large camera in her hands. She looked at me, surprised, and I in turn looked at her without a word.

"Hi," she said eventually. "...You came to see Nick?"

I nodded. "Yeah," I said slowly. I glanced inside. "Is this a bad moment?"

She laughed. "No, we're just trying to handle four cases at once." She ushered me inside. I shivered - it had been much colder outside. "It's got us running all over Diamond City - for once I'm not even sitting at the office all day."

I took off my jacket and hung it on the rack. "You like working with Nick, right?"

"More than you'd think," she muttered. "Of course I do. Why're you asking?"

"He hasn't been acting weird lately, has he?" I had to ask. I had to. I knew that she was in love or whatever with him, but she would have noticed if something was wrong. She _would_ have.

"No, he hasn't. But it's weird, Piper was just asking the same thing a few weeks ago." Ellie frowned. "Did anything happen?"

I forced a smile onto my lips. "No, of course not." I shook my head with a laugh. "I was just asking. I tend to get overconcerned about my friends."

That was _not_ a lie. Okay, maybe 'overconcerned' wasn't a word, but the point stood.

"Ellie, you out there? Please tell me it's not another client..." Nick Valentine, dressed in only a shirt and suspenders, looked into the hall. "Oh. Nora."

"Uh... Hi, Nick." I nervously massaged the back of my head. "Long time no see, eh?"

"Especially since I was inclined to assume you were dead," he said snarkily. "Not that I'm expecting you to tell me everything about your life or anything, but you could have at least said where you're running off to." His eyes softened. "Piper was worried about you."

"Yeah, I... I know." I looked down. "I'm sorry, I don't have that much time this time around."

"Well," he looked around the room. It was even more of a mess now than it had been before, with papers and photos hung all over the walls. Judging from the amount of cigarette buds in both ashtrays on Nick's desk, it was a bad time. "Neither do I, to be honest."

"Nick, I need to find a way inside the Institute."

"I know," he noticed. I let myself smile at that. "But I'm guessing you're having trouble with that. Look, I'd love to help you, Nora, you know I would, but I'm working on four cases at the moment already. There's a limit to what this old synth can do."

"I'm not asking you to launch a full investigation on the Institute. That, uh," I laughed nervously, "didn't really work last time around." I looked down, surprised to realize I was still wearing my blue Vault 111 jumpsuit. I should really change back into my uniform - at least just because it was warmer. "Nick... You saw Kellogg's memories back there too, didn't you?"

I winced, but he didn't start talking in Kellogg's voice or in any way unusually react to that. Maybe that had been just a one-time thing, then...

"Yeah, I did. Can't say I wish I hadn't, actually..." Nick looked down. "Makes you put things into perspective."

I couldn't agree more. But if I could choose, I would have erased that from my memory. I had enough trouble _without_ pitying my enemies.

"There's no chance you noticed something in there that just slipped me... and could be useful in our search?"

"I don't really know what slipped you and what didn't." He tilted his head. "You _did_ catch the fact that they use teleportation to get in and out, right?"

"Yes," I said, trying very hard not to sound exasperated.

"Alright, well... You remember that scientist?"

"Brian Virgil. The one who ran away from the Institute." I nodded. "Sure I remember."

Nick arched an eyebrow. "Then why haven't you gone with that lead yet?" He looked at me. "If Kellogg had been supposed to track Virgil down before you killed him, there's a good possibility no one from the Institute's tracked Virgil yet. Since he's a runaway, he should be more on our side than the Institute's."

"Our side?" I repeated. "Nick, I have no idea how many sides _are_ there out there. I used to think it was just me against the world, then me against the Institute. When I joined the Brotherhood of Steel, I began to think maybe this is the Institute against all of Commonwealth, but... The Commonwealth is divided. There are many smaller or bigger groups out here and they don't necessarily like each other. I mean, just by talking to you now, I'm violating several ground rules of the Brotherhood." I sighed. "Nick, I don't know if it's even right to say there _are_ sides in this war. Maybe... maybe everyone is out there for themselves."

"Do you believe that?" He asked skeptically.

"No." I breathed out slowly. "Not the Minutemen. Not the Brotherhood. Definitely not me."

"Then I think that if you're not just out there for yourself, you're doing some good. One way or the other."

"Why do you have to be so damn wise? Do you _practice_ giving advice?" I laughed. "Seriously, Nick. You should consider a career in that."

"I kinda have already. Psychology is an important asset in my line of work, you know."

"Yeah. So the scientist..." I wrinkled my forehead. "Where was he, some sea or something... I remember it was said there..."

"The Glowing Sea." He said it in a way one might say _'the land of the dead'_ or _'San Francisco'_.

"Doesn't sound very inviting," I noticed.

"There's always the other lead," Ellie said, joining the conversation for the first time since Nick had. "The Railroad."

"Does not exist," Nick said. "So we're after urban legends now? We've got one solid lead for Nora to pursue, we don't have to find other ones."

"The Railroad?" I repeated. "Piper believes they exist. But no one's supposed to be able to contact them since they're all paranoid and secretive."

"There is _one_ clue to finding them," Ellie said. "Just a codephrase, 'follow the Freedom Trail'. No one really knows what that means."

I had a pretty good idea what it meant, actually.

"Anyway... I'll just be off." I grabbed my bomber jacket. "I really have to go."

Nick stopped me in the door by grabbing my arm. I looked back at him - he seemed completely serious.

"Nora, do me a favor and don't get killed."

I nodded.

"I won't," I promised. "Not while I've still got unsettled matters."

I found out that my friends were at Piper's house, and since it was beginning to get dark, I figured we would spend the night here at Diamond City. What then? I didn't know just yet. I needed to think this through and talk about it with some people. Danse and Cait, more concretely. I found them on the roof - it seemed many people in Diamond City used them as balconies.

I caught the pack of cigarettes Danse had thrown me and pulled one out without a word. He sat on the ledge next to me while I lit it.

"This is going to get you killed eventually," he said seriously. I ostentatiously inhaled a mouthful of cigarette smoke.

"If you really thought that, you wouldn't be buying me those," I riposted as I exhaled all of it.

He looked away, clearly unable to fight that argument.

"And _that's_ one point for me." I grinned widely.

"Lung cancer."

"Alright, one-one."

I blew up a thin stream of smoke into the air above our heads. Cait asked if she could have one, but Danse forbade her. Funnily enough, it felt almost peaceful.

All of a sudden, we had not one, but two leads. A runaway scientist and an urban legend. Neither of those was solid, but they were both real.

"I think we should try to find that scientist," Danse said slowly. "Brian Virgil... It can't be hard to organize a manhunt when you know the target's full name."

"If you keep calling this man a 'target', I'm sure he'll want to cooperate," I said sarcastically. "Yep. A _manhunt_ is a brilliant idea, sir, absolutely amazing."

"Well, what do _you_ suggest we do, then?" He crossed his arms, but he didn't sound angry - more like actually curious. "Because if you have a better idea, you should call it right now."

"Alright!" I crossed my arms too, not entirely sure why. "We go to Elder Maxson with this, ask him if we can organize a," I winced, "manhunt for this scientist. If we can, that's great. If not... we've still got a backup plan."

Cait nodded. "Sounds fair," she said. Danse blinked, surprised, and I was pretty sure he had wanted to say something himself. I couldn't fight a smile. We were doing great.

oooOOO***OOOooo

We were not doing great. And I should have realized that _before_ Danse got his arm broken again.

"What did I say?!" I exclaimed, on the verge of panic. "What did I tell you?!"

"You said-"

"I said, take it easy! I said you're not fully healed yet! I said, _don't_ do anything stupid!" I hit him on the shoulder. "I said, wait until it heals!"

Cait was probably the only person who was amused by this situation. I was massively terrified and no less angry. Danse was probably embarrassed more than anything, but I rarely knew what was going on in his head, so that was a guess.

Power armor was an amazing and reliable thing. It was _not_ a reliable thing against the jaws of an enormous mutant hound. Hellhound, no less. Of course the damned super mutants would keep equally mutated, equally giant dogs as their pets.

"Just be glad we're close to that airport," Cait said. "You've got that base in there, right?"

"It's a non-rigid airship," Danse rectified. "And we _are_ very much lucky we're this close."

I sighed, glaring at him. Sometimes, that man could be impossibly stupid. "Don't you realize you're wounded?"

"I do." He clenched his fist. "It will be alright. We have got something to tell the Elder this time, at the very least."

Of course. I shouldn't have forgotten that, in Danse's eyes, his health didn't matter - the only important thing was the Brotherhood of Steel. I was pretty sure that one of these days, it would get him killed.

Danse left Cait with some money (which, to me, seemed completely unfair), food and drink. To be honest, we weren't completely sure if we could even take a civilian to the Brotherhood's main outpost. There wasn't any law against it, but I was pretty sure it was frowned upon. She would be fine - it was just a few hours and then, we would be back on the road. Probably.

"Love what we've done to the place," I commented when we marched onto the airport. It had been turned into a full military base, with Brotherhood soldiers tending to various tasks such as guarding the makeshift walls or unpacking the supplies sent by our allied farmers. There was also some commotion by one of the barracks - and I was pretty sure I could spot Proctor Ingram among the officers there. Huh. A pretty big barrack it was, too... Maybe we were working on some kind of weapon or something?

I asked Danse about it, but he replied that it was top-secret and I shouldn't bother. Which, naturally, only added fuel to my curiosity.

But for now, we had other things to worry about.

A vertibird took us from the airport onto the Prydwen, and from then on, it was rather simple. I wanted to begin with taking Danse to medical. Danse insisted on reporting to Elder Maxson right away. And of course, _he_ had his way. The only thing that slightly amused me was how he insisted he couldn't talk to the Elder in his power armor (I wasn't sure why, it had something to do with respect), so we went to the power armor station first.

I had a blast looking at the completely defeated look on Danse's face when he realized he was still wearing the Vault 81 jumpsuit.

He just jumped straight back into his power armor, not even caring that the left armpiece was bent and broken. I could barely stifle a laugh.

We knocked on the door, Elder Maxson let us in. Easy. This would be easy.

"I wanted to request permission for organizing a full-out search for a man called Brian Virgil," Danse said professionally. "We have reasons to believe he's been involved with the Institute. It could prove crucial to the success of our mission."

Maxson seemed surprised.

"Well, I'll be damned," he said. "You really _are_ a successful team, aren't you? But, Paladin, as to your request... No."

Danse raised a finger, clearly unprepared for a denial. "If I may, sir..."

"You _may_ , soldier."

"With all due respect, I don't think you've fully considered how important this operation could be - granted it's successful, of course."

Elder Maxson rubbed his beard. "Well... That's still a no from me, Danse. I'm sorry." He shook his head. "But I can't afford to spare soldiers on some search which isn't granted to be fruitful, with as little information as you've provided. If you think this is important, you're free to conduct that search on your own. If you don't, let it go. I trust your judgement, soldier." He glanced at me too, but just for a fraction of a second. "You're dismissed."

I nodded my head. Danse blinked, apparently still hung up on the fact that he hadn't gotten his approval. "Sir..."

Maxson narrowed his eyes. _"Dismissed_ , Paladin." He turned his back on us. "And, please, don't pretend I can't see you're wounded. I'm not stupid."

I couldn't prevent a smirk.

We walked off the bridge without even speaking. "So, that was..." I began.

"That was a foolish, childish mistake." Danse rubbed his forehead. "I shouldn't have assumed we have all those resources and manpower to spare. It was stupid of me to even bother the Elder with that."

I tilted my head. "I think you were rather reasonable. It's Maxson who reacted childishly, if you ask me."

"I wouldn't say that." He let out a heavy sigh. "His age aside, Elder Maxson is a brilliant tactician and experienced soldier. Between him and me, I can assure you his point would _always_ be more valid."

"His age?" I asked. "Yeah, I was wondering about that... It's kind of hard to tell." When I listened to the way he spoke, I could easily pin him down as a middle-aged man, but there was some youthfulness in his moves, some energy that you lose as you grow up... I honestly couldn't tell. All those scars and damage on his face hid his real age.

"Elder Maxson is twenty years old," Danse explained.

I blinked.

"He's a _kid!"_ I exclaimed. "We're all taking orders from an adolescent barely out of his teens?! You're older than him! _I'm_ older than him!"

"You see, it's reactions like this that make me doubt whether you're completely emotionally stable," Danse said. There was a moment of silence as I pondered on those words. He rolled his eyes. "That was a joke."

He really had to work on his 'joke' tone. I had already figured out his dry humor and that not all the stupid things he said were to be taken seriously, but it was sometimes hard to catch on.

"I'll just go resupply to the ammo station," I said. "Permission to wander off, sir?"

"On friendly ground? You needn't ask for permission."

Proctor Taegan provided me with another hundred or so bullets for my assault rifle - sadly, he didn't have anything that matched Kellogg's revolver in stock - and I took the little time I had to go to the casern and grab my leather jacket. I had missed this thing - though I had to admit the one Danse had given me was warmer.

Now that I had everything, off to the clinic. Knight-Captain Cade was there, sure enough, as well as a few wounded soldiers. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but two of them had very severe burns after a run-in with something they called 'fire ants'. I didn't want to know.

"Captain," I bowed my head at him. He acknowledged my presence with a nod. I turned to Danse (who was now wearing a new dark grey officer's uniform) and saluted quickly.

"Reporting for duty. I'm ready to set off, Colonel," I reported quickly. My eyes widened when I understood my mistake. _"Paladin."_

It was such a small error, almost nothing. Just a different name for the same thing. An easy mistake.

But for some reason, it shook me tremendously. Was I even moving on? It felt like I was still living in the past...

"Nora?" Danse put his hand on my shoulder, effectively preventing me from looking anywhere but his face. "You should take a break, you know."

I shook my head with a disbelieving smile. I felt kind of stupid, but I was pretty sure I had heard him wrong, so I kept smiling.

"Wha- What?" I uttered.

Danse raised his eyes to the heavens.

"Look, I know you're eager to take up the fight. So am I. But the Institute is not going to run away anywhere if you give yourself some time to rest." He saw that I was about to protest and held up his arm, the one that wasn't broken. "I'm being serious. Take a break. I'm not going to get anything done in this state anyway - you know I would just heal this off with a few Stimpaks, but Cade keeps on going on about how I'm 'inconsiderate of my own well-being', so for now, my hands are tied." Danse lowered his voice to a theatrical whisper. "He's supervising everything I do."

I giggled. He smiled at my reaction, even though his eyes were still sad.

"That's better - those rare moments when you smile are too scarce." He took a step back. "Maybe it should be one of the things for you to work on during your vacation."

 _"My_ vacation?"I repeated. "And what about you?"

Knight-Captain Cade walked up to us, crossed his arms and frowned at my friend.

"Oh no. I'm not taking my eyes off him for a moment. You and Ingram, the two biggest problems I have." He nodded at me. "Even _Nora_ knows when to report in to the medic. Sorry, Paladin, but you're on my list of the least trustworthy soldiers."

Danse sighed. "I am to stay on the Prydwen until I'm cleared for duty again."

"I'm sorry," I said. "It's my fault this ever happened."

He shrugged.

"Not the first injury I've sustained. I doubt it will be the last."

"But it's my fault."

He knew what I was talking about. Vault 81. It had easily been one of the lowest moments in my life, as well as one of the hardest choices. And I hadn't even chosen _him_.

"Because you chose that dying child over me?" He ruffled my hair fondly. "I've never been more proud of you, soldier. It was the choice no one had advised you - the choice you should have made."

"You could have died."

"I didn't." He sighed. "But, Nora, I need one thing from you before I let you go."

"Yes, sir."

"Promise me you won't do anything stupid when I'm not there to save you. Like going after the Institute on your own."

"Danse, you worry too much," I laughed. He remained serious. "Alright." I looked him straight in the eyes. "I promise I won't even _try_ to hunt down the Railroad while you're here."

"That's better." He even allowed himself to smile. "And don't worry - I promise that once I'm back in action, that will be the first thing to do."

I extended my hand.

"It's a deal, then?"

He shook it. "Deal."

oooOOO***OOOooo

"So?" Cait asked me once I was off the Prydwen. "What do we do now, boss?"

"Head to Goodneighbor. We're gonna need some help if we're to go after the Institute."

Funny thing: losing Danse was like losing a limb. The instant he was gone, I felt that something was missing. Maybe it was just the simple fact that I had been making so many new friends lately and starting to lose them (first Piper and now Danse?) was a strange sensation, maybe it was something else, but I felt lost without him. Of course, that was just to be expected - he _was_ the group's leader, after all.

That was probably why the moment he had gone and I found myself as the leader, I decided to show that I was better than Danse. That I could find the Railroad and I would do it even without him. We didn't need him.

 _I_ didn't need him.

That's probably why I decided to hire that mercenary from Goodneighbor and head out to find the Railroad. Not to replace Danse, but... well, to replace Danse.

"How did you know?" I asked, slamming my fist onto the table counter. MacCready looked up, startled. To be honest, I wasn't sure who was scarier - me or Cait beside me.

"W- what?" He asked. "I mean, hi. But... What?"

I looked around the bar, but no one really bothered. That's Goodneighbor for you - I could probably start a fight, for all everyone cared.

"Last time I was here, and you offered me to hire you, you recognized this uniform." I grabbed the collar of my orange jumpsuit, just to emphasize my point. "The Brotherhood of Steel's been in the Commonwealth for, what, a month? I doubt any sane Knights or Paladins venture to Goodneighbor, and yet still... You recognized me as a Brotherhood soldier, based on uniform alone." I folded my arms on my chest. "Now, that _is_ interesting. What are you? Former Brotherhood? Exiled? Cast out? Deserted? Retired? Well, you are terribly young, so..."

"I'm not from the Brotherhood of Steel." The boy raised his head at me. (It was hard _not_ to think of him as a boy; he was around Piper's age.) "Never was. Far as I'm concerned, never will be. I knew your uniform because I'd seen it before, in the Capital Wasteland." He stood up. "And if freaking me out was all you wanted, please just go."

"Good news, kid." I pulled out a pouch of bottlecaps and threw onto the table. "You're hired."

He stopped. "Really? Most people don't want me once they've heard I used to run with the Gunners..."

I _hadn't_ known that, and the word 'Gunners' only brought the most negative associations - Danse and Piper, covered in blood and dying, me being unable to help them... But I'd met Cait then, too. Either way, it was too late to back out without looking like an idiot.

"Well, I want you," I said. "Because I'm doing something terribly dangerous here, and I'm gonna need all the help I can get."

"Really?" He asked, counting the bottlecaps. It was enough - three hundred, I had made Cait count them already. "What are you doing?"

"Roughly?" Cait put her hands on her hips. "We're tryin' to find the Institute."

I thought MacCready was going to faint. But he just pursed his lips, looked at the money he was holding, looked at me... Clearly, he was counting up if it was worth the risk.

"Oh, darn it," he said. "That's good enough for me. Definitely not your usual job."

"Great." I brought up the map of Boston on my Pip-Boy. "This is what we're gonna do today: we're gonna go down the Freedom Trail and find the Railroad. Simple enough, right?"

MacCready shrugged, nonchalantly reloading his sniper rifle. It looked a bit like he was just showing off, but I didn't care much.

"One question." Cait looked at me. "The Freedom Trail?"

"Yeah." I closed the map, deciding to just describe it instead of showing. "You see, when we were in Diamond City, Ellie had mentioned that this was the only way to make contact with the Railroad, but no one really knew what it meant. Well, this didn't leave me for a long time. Far as I'm concerned, the Boston Freedom Trail is the biggest tourist route of the city. It's just a tour with all the most important historical places marked on it. It's been around since, like, forever."

"How does she know this?" MacCready asked, genuinely surprised.

Cait shrugged. "Beats me."

"Okay," I said, completely ignoring them. "If I remember correctly, the last stop at this trail was somewhere along Faneuil Hall? Or maybe that was Paul Revere House..."

"You're creepin' me out," Cait decided. I ignored that remark too.

"We'll go to Faneuil Hall first - if that's not the last stop, we'll just... follow the Freedom Trail. Like we're supposed to."

"Are you sure about this?" MacCready raised his eyebrows. "I mean, a pre-War self-guided tour. Is that really the way to find the Railroad, the most secretive group in the Commonwealth?"

I looked at him seriously. He had a point. This was almost too easy. But, then again, it's always darkest under the streetlamp.

"Yes," I said.

Another funny thing: Cait was short and that was fine. MacCready was short and that was _not fine._ I wasn't sure why I was even bothered by the fact that the height difference between him and me was bigger than between me and Danse, because he was such an amazing shot that nothing else mattered. I had thought MacCready had been just bragging about his skills, but no. He really _was_ the best sniper I'd ever seen. (Not that I had seen many, but the point stood.)

So I decided that it was alright to leave him with the task of repelling the group of super mutants that had attacked us while I knelt down to inspect the metal seal in the ground by Faneuil Hall. _THE FREEDOM TRAIL BOSTON,_ it said in all capital letters _._ The whole thing had been sprayed over with red graffiti paint. That new encryption was only a number, 3, and an arrow pointing to the letter I in the word TRAIL.

"Three-i," I muttered. "Is this some kind of Railroad code or is it randomly here? Like, raiders or stuff?"

Cait crossed her arms. "So we've decided the Railroad is real," she summed up. "Nice."

I tried moving the seal. "Maybe it can just..."

"You about done there?!" MacCready exclaimed. "Because I'm having a bit of a situation!"

Oh, it was just a couple of super mutants. "You'll manage!" I shouted to him, not even looking up from the Freedom Trail marker. "Huh. Guess this isn't the last stop, then." I looked at the red bricks paved into the sidewalk. I knew the Freedom Trail. Anyone who came to Boston and wanted to see anything walked the Freedom Trail. Back in my time, there had even been a tour guide robot.

"Next stop, Paul Revere House," I said. "Might wanna stop shooting now."

"You think?!" MacCready lowered his sniper rifle. He pointed a finger at me. "You're not right in the head!" He exclaimed. "Not right! In the head!"

I looked around. The super mutants were all either gone or dead. Of the ones he had shot, the closest I could see was maybe fifty feet away.

"You're great at this," I said calmly. "No point to get angry, you handled your own back there." Oh, now I was _talking_ like Danse. That couldn't be a good sign. I cleared my throat. "You, um... You've always been this good?"

He seemed relieved that I had changed the subject.

"Ever since I remember," he replied. "Picked up a sniper rifle when I was ten and never once regretted that choice. I mean, why take the chance when you can just keep the distance?"

"Smart thinkin'. But not for me," Cait absently toyed with her combat knife as we walked. "I like me a good fight."

That was not what _I_ had noticed. "Ten years old," I said. I couldn't speak for how things were in the Wasteland, but that seemed like awfully little. "You started young, huh?"

MacCready shook his head with a small laugh. "You have no idea. I mean, I grew up in the Capital Wasteland, so it was hard living. You had to stand up for yourself. Actually, when I was like ten, I found this place called Little Lamplight."

"Childish name," Cait vocalized my thoughts.

"No shi-" MacCready winced. "I mean, yeah. Not very surprising - it was a town where only kids could live. We had this rule that when you turned eighteen, you had to leave. Sounds stupid, I know, but it kept the colony safe for decades." He smirked. "Would you believe I was actually the mayor for a while? Me?"

"Uh... Yeah, actually." I shrugged. "I've seen worse people in charge." Like John Hancock and his law of the jungle order or Elder Maxson who I was sure Danse had some issues with. "Believe it or not, but you're not the worst person I've met out here."

"Yeah, but... Can we just stop talking about me? It's making me nervous, if you don't mind." We'd only known each other for, like, two days, after all. "What about you? Why do you want to find the Institute?"

I didn't want to answer that question, but Cait was faster than me.

"It's all a part of this revenge plan of hers. The Institute killed Nora's husband and kidnapped her son. She's tryin' to find him now, I guess."

I stared at her. "Who told you this?" I snapped.

"Paladin Danse? I didn't realize it was a secret or anythin'."

Instead of answering in any way, I just urged them to go faster.

Before dusk settled, we had checked the remaining two points of the Freedom Trail - the Paul Revere House and the Old North Church. The graffiti by those two was, respectively 7-A and 5-R. Now, I was sure it was some kind of code. But what it meant, I did not know.

Also, we hadn't found anything.

The church was the last stop of the tour, but there was nothing there, either. We even tried checking inside, but all we found were three feral ghouls and a lot of rubble.

"I don't understand," I said. "It should be here. It should."

"Maybe we haven't looked hard enough," Cait said doubtfully. "But there's nothin' to even _look_ at here, so beats me."

"So what do we do now?" MacCready asked.

I stood there, unmoving. That was the question _I_ was supposed to ask - whether it was Nick or Danse, I had always had someone who would decide for me. Now, I didn't.

So I did the thing I always did when I didn't know what to do.

"Let's go to Diamond City."

I needed to talk to Piper.

I was fully aware how helpless that made me sound - instead of the half-distance trek to Goodneighbor, I chose the two days of travel to Diamond City. Without even knowing if I would have any results. But I felt completely lost without my friends. I needed Piper not just because she was bright and observant, but also because she was kind and understanding. Because she was my best friend and even though her opinion was important, her support even more.

As soon as we arrived in Diamond City, MacCready left for the market to buy more ammunition, reasoning it by the fact that I had, apparently, no consideration for our lives at all. Cait decided to follow him, but I was guessing she was mostly lured by the amount of different blades the weaponry store had to offer. I just looked at them from a safe distance, an amused smirk on my face.

"Hey." Someone grabbed my arm. I looked up, surprised to see a complete stranger. The man had jet black hair and wore a usual trader's outfit made from some rags, but didn't stand out in any way at all.

"Excuse me?" I narrowed my eyes, pretty sure he must have confused me for someone else. I didn't know who that was.

"You're trying to find the Railroad, aren't you?" He looked at me. "Here's a word of advice: don't. And that's all I can tell you."

That caused me to take a second look at him.

"Hold on..." I said, remembering something. "I _know_ you!"

The trader put on a pair of sunglasses, almost as if he had decided he should cover his face. "I have no idea what you're on about." He turned to walk away from me.

"No, you were there, in Goodneighbor!" I insisted. "It was you!"

"Yeah, see ya," he said over his shoulder nonchalantly. "Pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Get back here!" I shouted, setting off after him. "Wait! Do you know how to get to the Railroad?!"

I rounded the corner he had just taken, but the alley was entirely empty.

"What the..." I said aloud. "Hey! Get back here!"

It was like he had disappeared.

"You sure you're fine, Nora?" Cait asked from behind me.

"I don't know. It looked like she was shouting at thin air," MacCready said, shaking his head with a small smirk.

I hung my head and turned around to look at them.

"Got your share of laughing at me or should I do something embarrassing to further amuse you two?" I asked flatly.

"No, ta." Cait laughed. "We're fine."

After that, I _had_ to talk to Piper. And thankfully, at least her I know where to look for.

When I asked her about the Railroad, Piper immediately perked up. When I told her I had travelled the Freedom Trail, she couldn't sit calmly and literally jumped up to her feet. When I told her I hadn't found anything, she looked devastated.

But she got better when she got a look at my new travelling companion.

"Hot guy on your six, Blue," she whispered theatrically, a wide grin painted on her face.

"Hot guy is with me," I explained. "His name is MacCready and I hired him to... uh, replace Paladin Danse." I winced. "I should _not_ say that aloud, makes me sound terrible."

"Kinda, yeah." She glanced at the mercenary again. "Where _do_ you find them?"

"Do you like every guy I bring along?" I asked jokingly.

"I didn't like Preston," Piper reasoned.

"Now, _that_ is called racism," I laughed. "But do I have to remind you how it went when you met Danse?"

She blushed.

"But comparing Danse to this guy is like-"

I raised a hand. "I... _really_ don't want to know." I exhaled slowly. "Piper, please get a boyfriend."

"I'm _trying_ to, but you keep cutting them off from me."

"My commanding officer?" I exclaimed. "Not a good idea!"

"Then why not this guy?"

It was my turn to blush. I looked down, embarrassed.

 _Damn it._

"I... _I_ like this guy."

oooOOO***OOOooo

For someone so supposedly savvy and professional, I had to admit that MacCready was perpetually distracted. It was almost as though he was looking for something completely different than the rest of us. He was always keeping his eyes on the signs and billboards, always looked bothered with something... But I had to admit that he was an amazing shot. I hadn't seen him miss, not even once. I was just glad he was on my side. (As much as a mercenary can be on _anyone's_ side.)

Still, it was kind of suspicious how he kept looking out for something. The breaking point was when he missed a Yao Guai (according to the Wasteland Survival Guide, that name for mutated bears came from Chinese POW captives who had survived the war in America) and almost cost Cait her life.

"Okay, what's your problem?" Piper asked angrily.

He fidgeted, clearly unprepared for an outward question like this. Piper's straightforwardness could be surprising to people who didn't know her, but to me it was like a blessing - I didn't have to do the asking myself.

"My problem?" MacCready asked, surprised.

"Yes, yours!" She threw her hands in the air. "I swear, I'm having enough of this!"

I didn't want to point out that she had been supposed to stay in Diamond City with her sister. I knew how resolutions like that worked with people like that - Piper would never _really_ settle down just like that. She was too much like me for that kind of life.

"Okay, I... Um, I have no idea what you're talking about." MacCready looked at her.

"You want me to spell it out to you? Fine, I can." Piper crossed her arms. "You're looking for something. Now, I don't know what kind of person you are, if that's a good thing or a bad thing, if you treat us seriously, but... You obviously treat the thing more seriously. So I think we would all like to know what the thing is."

"Travelling with three women," he muttered. "Good luck at trying to have your private matters."

I cocked my head to the side. "It's not your private matter when it starts to influence the way we all work here. When it starts affecting our safety."

"I could have died," Cait pointed out. "Sure, wouldn't be the first time, but it'd be nice to know why."

He looked down. "...Fine. But I'm only saying this because I owe you." He bit his lip. "I'm looking for a pre-War medical center. Med-Tek, preferably, but at this point I think anything will do. I need something from there, badly."

"If you need something so badly, why'd you even sign up for this contract?" I asked.

"Because you paid good caps and because you'd be dead without help." MacCready sighed. "The thing is... I have a son. Back in the Capital Wasteland. And... he's sick. Doctor said he had never seen anything like that. Last time I saw him, he was almost too weak to walk and I didn't _dare_ ask him to come with me when I moved to the Commonwealth." He shut his eyes. "Honestly... I don't even know how long he's gonna last."

MacCready looked straight at me.

"His name is Duncan. He's just four years old and he is _dying_." He shook his head. "Now, I know my family affairs are not counted into our contract, that's why I didn't say. But, if you really wanna know what's bothering me... Here you go."

After that, all three of us felt too bad about asking to even reply. We set off in complete silence.

"We should help him," Piper said later that day. We were sitting by the dying campfire, Cait and MacCready had already gone to sleep... It was almost like when we had been travelling together before. "MacCready. We should help him find some way to cure his son. I mean, we're already helping Cait with her drug addiction, so how much can it hurt?"

I sighed. I had thought about that too, but there was one thing about the mercenary that put me off from him. I didn't know if he was telling the truth.

"I don't know. The Gunners... Piper, I don't know if we can trust this guy."

"Yeah, because you don't look at yourself."

I did. Brotherhood of Steel uniform, Brotherhood of Steel combat armor, bomber jacket from Danse... I narrowed my brows.

"That's not the same," I said firmly. "I joined the Brotherhood for a purpose, and it wasn't _money!"_

"Of course not," she shot back immediately. "You joined up because the handsome guy who saved your life asked you to."

Oh, _that_ was a dangerous thing to assume.

"Piper..." I said slowly. "You're on very thin ice here. Very. Thin."

She giggled. "Oh sure. Like you'll do me anything. Come on, I'm not the only one who's been casting looks at Dansey boy."

"I have no idea how you get away with calling people stupid nicknames like that," I said, glad to change the subject. "Don't they notice?"

"I don't know, _Blue_. Do they?"

"Touché."

"Anyway, um... That's not what I meant. When I told you to look at yourself." Piper's eyes softened. "Not at all."

"He is conning us! Dying son? Please, that's the oldest story in the world!"

"Is it really?" She asked, looking at me with those big green eyes of hers. "A lone parent, seeking for a way to help their child, completely alone in this Wasteland? Is that _really_ so hard to believe?"

I opened my mouth, but I couldn't find words to say.

"Oh, my God."

MacCready was me.


	20. Castling

**Chapter Eighteen  
Castling  
**

* * *

"I have no idea how to thank you," MacCready admitted nervously. "This is... I have no words."

We were sitting in an old, rusted-out bus on the side of some road, all four of us looking at the vial which lay on the empty seat next to us.

The cure for all human diseases which Curie had developed.

It wasn't rational. We had known this man for less than a week. We shouldn't give this to him, we didn't even know if we could _trust_ him... But when I looked at his expression, at how touched he was, how happy... I knew that it was sincere.

"So you're now going to leave for Washington to give this to your son," I guessed.

MacCready bit his lip, looked down, sharply inhaled, and slowly let it all out.

"I'd love to," he said. "But if I'm too late...? What if I'm too late?" He looked at me, probably because only I had ever been a parent too, so he assumed I would know how he felt. But I didn't - I had never gotten the chance to really be Shaun's mother; that chance had been stolen from me. "I don't think I'd be able to survive it."

"So what do you wanna do?" Piper asked softly, putting an arm around his thin frame.

MacCready was small... I didn't know why, but I hadn't really noticed it before. He was Piper's height, and he didn't really have much muscle bulk. I didn't know why I cared that much... But when I looked at the two of them sitting on this old bus seat together, it was Piper who seemed stronger - in more than just one aspect. And that surprised me.

"I've got a friend in Goodneighbor," he said. "Her name's Daisy, she sends caravans up and down the Wasteland. She'll get this cure to Duncan if I ask, no worries."

"So Goodneighbor it is," Cait nodded her head. "We headin' out now or do we wait until it clears?"

We had taken refuge inside the bus due to a thunderstorm, but it was almost over now.

A look at my Pip-Boy told me that it was 9th December - so winter should be coming soon. I had survived two radiation storms during the last week - they were unlike anything I'd known before the apocalypse, shedding so much radiation on us that I'd used up almost all my RadAway the first time, when we hadn't managed to find a shelter before we got caught up in it. If this was 'normal', I didn't want to see the way it would get in a few weeks.

"Let's head out," I decided. "The sooner we leave, the sooner we get there. And it _is_ a little boy's life on the line."

"Yeah, let's go." Piper jumped off her seat and out the long-gone door. "Come on, we've got a lot of ground to cover."

Cait followed without a word, but eagerly. I moved to do the same, but MacCready grabbed my forearm.

"Nora?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Yeah?"

"Don't think I don't know how much you're doing for me." He looked down, at our feet. "It's stupid - you hired me to deal with your shi- with your _problems_ and instead, we've ended up solving mine. I didn't want it to be like this."

"It's fine," I said. "That's the humane thing to do, you know. You don't owe me anything."

He gently placed a pouch of bottlecaps on the empty seat beside me, the one Cait had vacated. I didn't have to count to know it was the three hundred I had paid him.

 _"Now_ I don't owe you anything."

He jumped out of the bus too, following the girls, and didn't look back at me once. Piper asked him something, but I could hear neither the question nor the answer. I just felt that it was about me.

With a small smile, I picked up the pouch and threw it inside my backpack. Then, I just ran out onto the street, following my friends.

We got to Goodneighbor in just a day - which was a good score, considering the weather. Of course, we had to actually rent rooms at the hotel this time around - it was obvious we would spend more than just a few hours there. MacCready was a regular so he got a nice discount, but the two rooms we had rented - one for Cait and one for Piper and me - cost us almost my weekly allowance from Danse.

Daisy, the nice ghoul lady who was in charge of the caravans, had been alive before the War. That kind of sprung up my hopes for the Wasteland's ghouls - if somebody could survive two hundred years like that and not go insane, feral or else, maybe not all ghouls were to be afraid of. Of course, that didn't make me any less wary in her presence - I couldn't help but picture every single ghoul that had almost killed me when I looked at one. My subconscious just felt that ghouls were a danger, and I didn't want to argue with it.

MacCready sent the cure through the first caravan to the Washington area - that should have calmed him down, knowing there was finally a chance for his son... Dead wrong, because now we had to _wait_.

"What if it doesn't work? It _is_ possible," he said, nervously attaching and detaching the magazine of an assault rifle over and over again.

"It will," I assured him. "Look, I know the scientist who developed this cure and there's no way she slipped."

"I know you said it works for everything, and I trust you, but this is a new disease. What if it doesn't work?"

"You need to _stop_ ," Cait muttered. She, in turn, was playing with a switchblade. "Listenin' to you whine is gettin' boring."

"I know." MacCready put the gun away. "I know. I just... can't stop thinking about it, you know? What if the caravan got hit? Raiders are everywhere. And if you saw the Capital Wasteland and how many super mutants-"

No matter what we did, he wouldn't get his peace until he got news about his son. And that would take a week, at least. I knew how rare of a commodity working cars were in the Wasteland (there were more down in Oregon, Piper had said) and that they didn't get around as easily as before everything had gone to hell. From Boston to Washington and back again? Two, maybe three days. From the Commonwealth to the Capital Wasteland? I didn't know.

"We can't just sit around doing nothing," I said aloud. "You desperately need a distraction, no offense." I looked at him, a fresh idea in my mind. "Do you smoke?"

MacCready seemed surprised. "Sometimes, yeah."

Shooting Piper a triumphant look, I led him outside. I offered him a cigarette, took one for myself, and we shared the silence for a moment.

MacCready took off his hat and nervously folded it in his hands.

"Listen, um..." He seemed very uneasy. "I never... I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you helping me help Duncan. I can't think of any way right now, but I swear I'll make it up to you. I promise, I will. I owe you, Nora, and I _always_ pay my debts."

I chuckled.

"This is a friendship, not a business contract," I said. "You don't have to keep talking about debts and dues."

"I know... I know. It's just that... I'm used to people taking rather than giving."

"That's okay." I cocked my head sympathetically. "It's just the kind of world we live in."

"It's _not_ okay." He crossed his arms. "Look, I know that I tend to be an ass-" He winced. "That I tend to be arrogant, and I come off like I want to be alone..." He smiled bitterly. "Nothing farther from the truth. Being alone scares the heck out of me. I just..."

Instead of finishing that sentence, he took a drag from his cigarette before angrily throwing it onto the ground and putting out with his boot.

"No one wants to be alone," I noticed. I wondered if I was going too far, but I grabbed his hands. "And you don't have to be, not anymore." I offered him a shy smile. "The road can get lonely, but... only unless you've got someone to share it with."

"I guess." His eyes widened as he quickly looked down. "I never thought of it that way. But yeah, you're right! And I'm glad I've found that person." He blinked. _"People_. All of you, of course, not just one. That's what I meant."

I opened my mouth to ask, but I didn't get to say anything before Piper's voice interrupted the whole moment.

"So this is what you're doing out here," she said - a bit too loudly for my liking. "Guess we're not discussing our next move, then."

She jumped down the stairs from the hotel's entrance to stand beside me.

"Our next move is staying here in Goodneighbor," I said. "MacCready's waiting for the news about his son. Besides, there's nothing we can do right now that will get us any closer to finding the Institute. We've got all the info we need, after all - I just need the Brotherhood of Steel with me and we're green to go."

In other words, until Danse was cleared for duty again, I couldn't really do anything. But that was fine. How much of a rush were we in, anyway?

I had all the time in the world.

"And I don't know about you guys, but I haven't taken a bath for _days_." I stretched my arms. "I'll just head back to the hotel now."

"I'll go with you," Cait decided. "Not much to do around here, except gettin' drunk outta your mind." She smirked. "Actually, I think I'll go to the Third Rail now."

"Piper, I can show you around Goodneighbor," MacCready offered. "And we can work on that, um, one-on-one interview."

Piper rolled her eyes.

"Oh, MacCready." Instead of responding to that, more or less obvious, flirt, she just laughed. He looked a little betrayed.

I figured the conversation didn't include me anymore, so I took that as a cue to leave. They would be alright without me. Piper and MacCready would be, at least - they were both more or less sensible. I was just hoping Cait wouldn't pick a fight she wouldn't be able to finish. Then again, I doubted such fights existed.

I chuckled to myself as I turned the key in lock. _Gosh, I love these kids._ I had only known them for circa a month, but those people were the closest thing to a family I had out here. Closer than Shaun, I felt at times.

I rummaged through my backpack until I found the bottle of Rad-X pills. My Pip-Boy had begun clicking with a radiation warning when I had turned on the faucet last time, and I definitely didn't want to risk getting radiation sickness again.

I took two pills and carefully took off my Brotherhood uniform. The water that slowly filled the rusted-out bathtub still caused my Pip-Boy to click, but I just took that off too. I felt almost free without that weight on my forearm.

It was amazing to finally feel all that dirt and sweat wash off my body. Another thing in the Wasteland that was irritating: I simply didn't have enough _opportunities_ to bathe.

The water was cold, of course, but at that point, I was so used to my low body temperature that I accepted it without complaint.

As I kept my head under the water, my thoughts drifted to Shaun. Did _he_ have a place to bathe? How did they treat him in the Institute? Hopefully they weren't being too hard on the little boy... He was just ten years old.

It still hurt to know that I hadn't been there to see him growing up.

I pulled up, gasping for air. I blinked - and winced when the dirty water got into my eyes. The cool liquid on my face was all I could possibly need, and keeping my head under the surface for a while only added up to the feeling of freshness.

Half-drowning myself, drawing blood from my hands... I was a mess.

I quickly jumped out of the bathtub, dried myself with a towel I wished had been as clean as me, and put on my Vault 111 jumpsuit and the leather jacket. Sure, the bright blue and yellow were even more inconspicuous than the orange of my Brotherhood uniform, but the latter had drawn some unfriendly looks in Goodneighbor before. I didn't want to risk it.

I picked up the Pip-Boy to check the date. 9th December 2287. Too late. I would never find Shaun if this kept on. At least knowing that he was in the Institute - safe, too - was helping me get my priorities straight.

First of all, revenge. Making those bastards suffer for everything they were doing to me, to my friends, to everyone in the Commonwealth. Second of all, getting my son back - if he would even recognize me as his mother. He had never known me, after all. _That_ was the Institute's fault too.

Everything was their fault. Well, not _every_ thing, but damn well near.

I walked out of the room, shutting the door behind me.

"Holy shit," I heard a voice behind me while I was trying to jam the rusty key into the equally rusty lock. I spun around in a fraction of a second - after two months in the Wasteland, I already had instincts of expecting danger from everyone.

I almost dropped the key, startled to see a ghoul. _Not feral, not feral,_ I told myself. _Half of the people in Goodneighbor are ghouls._ Hell, the _mayor_ was a ghoul. I shouldn't be freaking out this much.

It didn't really help.

"You- uh, you got a problem?" I asked the ghoul, trying to sound confident.

"It..." He stared at me, irisless black eyes widened in shock. "It can't... It is. It's _you_. From Sanctuary Hills, you're that soldier's wife!"

I blinked, shocked, and looked at him once again. All ghouls shared the traits of torn, rotten skin and lack of nose, but it wasn't like they didn't have individualistic traits. And it definitely wasn't impossible to recognize someone who had been turned into a ghoul, but...

"Wait," I said as a sudden realization dawned on me. "Aren't you from Vault-Tec? The salesman who kept bothering my husband while I was in court."

"Aren't I? Aren't I?! I _am_ Vault-Tec! Twenty years of loyal service and now look at me! They wouldn't let me in," he growled. "I wasn't on _the list._ No one cared." He looked at me. "But you? Look at _you_. Two hundred years and you're still perfect! How? How's that possible?!"

I opened my mouth, shocked.

"You didn't know?" I asked once my speech was back. "The Vault had these pods that had us frozen all the time. I... only thawed out recently." All of a sudden, I was feeling very, very guilty.

"Good for you, huh? Well, I had to get to the future the hard way. Two hundred and ten years of filth, decay, radiation, and _bloodshed._ " He clenched his fists. "Look at me, I'm a ghoul! A _freak_!"

"I am... I'm so sorry." I shook my head. "It... You know it wasn't my fault. But I am _so_ sorry."

There was an awkward silence after that. I nervously dragged my feet on the floor.

"So, uh, you're here with your family?"

I bit on the inner side of my cheek. "No, they're..." I winced at the memory of Nate being shot right in front of me. "They're gone."

"Oh."

An awkward silence fell between us. "I, um, got things to do... Got to go... You know," I nervously paced in place. "Things to do."

I ran out on the street without even saying goodbye.

I calmed down a bit as soon as I felt the cold wind on my skin, actually. It was late already, after sunset, but Goodneighbor's neon lights were eternal. The nightlife here seemed at least as vivid as during the day.

 _Guess it's just 'that' kind of place._

"Shit," I heard someone mutter. "That's the second time this month."

More out of curiosity than anything else, I looked to my right, wanting to see what that was about. Two ghouls from the Neighborhood Watch, the town's security, were standing over a dead man's body. One of them took off his hat.

"Damn it. What am I gonna tell his mother..."

"What happened here?" I heard a familiar voice. Of course, Piper Wright had to be wherever there was a story to be found.

The ghoul put his rifle on his shoulder. "That's another synth that's been taken care of."

"He was a synth?" I asked, shyly joining the conversation.

"Jeez, we don't wanna make a scene." He cringed. "Yeah, he was. Unbelievable, huh? Sammy was fine a few days ago and then all of a sudden he's acting funny. Gives up cigarettes, the booze, stops cheating on his wife... The man wasn't a saint, but he was who he was, y'know? The Institute ain't got no right to replace him with a synth double." He sighed. "Look, we gotta clean up here. You two just keep close to you and yours, alright?"

"We will," I promised. "Come on, Pipes."

"Great job on cleaning up Institute spies," she said - and I couldn't tell if she was being serious or not. Probably just bitter that Diamond City Security didn't work that well.

"He didn't make it two days before everyone realized somethin' was wrong with him," the other guard muttered. "If Institute think they can replace people in this town, they better think again."

We walked away, but I had to look back. This wasn't the world I had wanted. Killing and bloodshed I could somehow get used to, but people always living in fear, always suspecting each other... That was tragic.

"It's sad," I said. I raised my eyes to the stars in the sky. "This is so fucking sad."

"That's just Goodneighbor for you," Piper said. "They deal with trouble their way."

I looked at her, slightly surprised. "That's not what I meant."

She sighed. "Let's just head back to the hotel."

I wanted to point out that I had just come from there, but in reality, I didn't know what to do from now on. We went to hang out at MacCready's room (mostly because Piper insisted. I would have just gone to sleep, but I didn't want to do it while they were having fun _without me_. I hated being left out.)

"I've got a deck of cards somewhere around here," MacCready muttered, looking through his backpack. "We could play, I don't know, poker or mau-mau."

"Blackjack," Piper suggested.

I sat down on the floor, cross-legged. "I'm down for a game of blackjack," I said.

The first game, I let MacCready win - the second one, he won fair and square. But Piper must have picked up on our tactics soon enough, because she easily beat us the next three times.

I was starting to despise this game.

"I found us a job," Cait announced as she burst into the room. She looked very pleased with herself and also slightly drunk, but I decided to ignore the latter. At least she wasn't high - bringing her problems and Goodneighbor together probably wasn't the best idea.

"Great. It's always something to keep your mind off the _other stuff,"_ MacCready said. He sighed, frowning all of a sudden. "I... I've been having so much fun out here, I almost forgot about my troubles."

Piper raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? Well, maybe we should do something that will erase them for good, then." She stood up. "What kind of job is it?"

"This ghoul lady said - oh come on, Nora, don't do this face - she's lookin' for someone who can guard an excavation team. They're diggin' up some kinda treasure and they need guards." Cait shrugged. "Sounds simple enough, and the pay's supposed to be good."

"Digging up a treasure?" I couldn't help but laugh. "What is this, the 19th century?"

Cait gave me a look. "Got a better idea?"

I had to admit that I didn't. None of us did. So when Piper took Cait aside to discuss the details, I generously offered to help MacCready clean up - there were potato chips and empty soda bottles all over the floor, the aftermath of the three of us hanging out together.

I picked up his hand of cards and idly glanced at the numbers.

"You let her win," I noticed aloud. "With those cards, you could've easily beat us."

"I know," he hid the cards into a battered pack, "but winning isn't everything there is."

I raised an eyebrow. "You _sure_ you're feeling alright?" That was unlike him.

MacCready glanced at where Piper was talking to Cait. "I don't know... But she looks so happy." He sighed. "At least one of us does."

He was damn right. None of us had had too much joy lately - maybe the hope of curing his son was a good thing, but it was the only one. Piper deserved to be happy too, even if just in winning a card game.

"Huh," I said absently, "that's funny." MacCready and Piper. Piper and Cait. Cait and Danse. Danse and I. I smiled. "Funny."

Because maybe that's what it takes - one person making another's life a bit better, and they in turn making someone else's, and they in turn someone else's... It seemed like one big chain of support.

"You can't go through life alone," I whispered. And I had been foolish to even think I could. Humans are social creatures, we need other people to function properly. We need someone to watch our back, to keep company... Our greatest asset is our greatest flaw - we _have to_ depend on others.

But, looking at my friends, I thought... Maybe that wasn't so bad.

oooOOO***OOOooo

I was _not_ alright with going down some shady side alley in Goodneighbor, the shadiest town in the Commonwealth, and knocking on the door to the house of some shady ghoul who was trying to dig up a treasure. Maybe it was Danse and Piper and their paranoia taking its toll on me, maybe it was just common sense, but I was feeling uneasy about the whole thing.

Cait and MacCready seemed completely alright with it.

I knocked on the door, stepping around nervously. Even if I had gotten better at hiding it, ghouls still freaked me out.

"What?" an irritated voice barked from inside.

"It's about that job," Cait called out. "We're takin' it."

I could hear the sound of several locks being turned before the door was opened by a short ghoul woman.

"Irish girl," she greeted Cait. Then, she looked at the rest of us. "You've brought one hell of a backup." She nodded at us to walk inside. "Just come in. Some things you shouldn't talk about aloud out here."

I looked around the house (yet again, my suspicion about Goodneighbor houses being bigger than the ones in Diamond City was confirmed) and was relieved to notice that there weren't any other ghouls inside.

"There are... many of you," the ghoul said. She laughed. "Shit, maybe that's fine. If you're positive you're taking the job, come along."

She led us to some dank basement - very cold for my standards. I zipped up my bomber jacket, trying not to shiver too much. None of my companions seemed to mind so much.

"I didn't want to talk out there," the ghoul said as she ushered us into a crudely-dug tunnel. "Never know who might be listening, and I for one don't want the wrong people to find out about what we're doing here."

"Yeah?" I asked warily as the tunnel descended into what had to be old sewers. At least there was an actual flooring. "Like who?"

She wrinkled her forehead. "Like people who wouldn't have liked it. If you wanna survive in Goodneighbor, you gotta know the other players." She looked at me. "This ain't an easy game, you know."

I recalled Fahrenheit had said something like that before - about how you have to sacrifice a piece to keep the game going. So that was the kind of political game that was being played in Goodneighbor... Hell, probably the whole Commonwealth. Whoever had the high ground, won. The Minutemen didn't want to trust the Brotherhood of Steel, Diamond City didn't allow ghouls inside and the people were so afraid of synths that it bordered on dangerous paranoia, all those small settlements were out for themselves... All the while, the whole world was plagued with radiation and literal monsters. Maybe what we really needed was to stand together, united.

Maybe the Minutemen were on a good trail, though I couldn't really agree with the way they took action. But I had enough influence that maybe I could change it a bit... Something to think about.

"It is hella hard," I said as I gritted my teeth. I would need as many allies and resources as I needed if I were to really take on the Institute. "Fine! We're in!"

I shook hands with the ghoul.

"Great. You can start by cleaning out the tunnel over there. We stumbled upon some mirelurks and most of my people got scared enough to run away. Good enough, no pay for them. But," she looked at MacCready," I think in the end, I got more than I had even hoped for."

I took a glance at the mercenary too. Out of the four of us, he was the only one who looked like he took Wasteland danger seriously - from the knives strapped to his backpack through the sniper rifle thrown over his shoulder for easy access and several bandoliers, along with the hulls of a few other rifles sticking out of his backpack, MacCready made for one of the most heavily-armed people I had seen in my life. And, if anything, his large collection of firearms had only _grown_ during the last week - for reasons I couldn't comprehend, he took every gun he could lay his hands on.

So yeah, out of the four of us, I suspected he did look like the best man for the job.

"Actually, I always wanted to find out what those mirelurks are," I said as I pulled Righteous Authority out of the holster straps on the side of my backpack. "So I'll go as fire support. You coming, uh..." I glanced at the ghoul. "Sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"It's Bobbi. And no, I think I'll pass. I'm already paying you, so I won't go risking my hide doing the thing I hired you for."

"Okay." MacCready checked the magazine of his sniper rifle (prompting me to immediately do the same with my gun), all professional already. "Come along, Nora. Let's kick some crab ass- I mean, butts."

He reluctantly walked deeper into the tunnel. I hesitated for a moment before running to catch up with him.

"You don't have to do that, you know," I mumbled. "I'm not your mother."

"Huh?" He glanced at me.

"Stop yourself from swearing. It's not the first time you've done that." I tilted my head. "Why?"

He glanced around. "I don't think this is the best moment for talking about that. I mean, nothing's attacking us, but... For now."

I heard a splash and looked down - I had stepped into the dirty sewer water. I pulled my leg out, but my boot was completely covered in mud. I sighed.

I glanced at MacCready, who was doing admittedly better than me - he had rolled up the sleeves of his duster and was now wading in the knee-deep sewage. He winced. "Nice smell. Hope the caps are worth it."

"You do this often?" I asked. "Take a job without knowing what the pay'll be?"

"You'll get used to it." He poked a floating tin can with the hull of his rifle. "Stuff happens. When you're a mercenary, it's never really certain. Sometimes your employer decides they don't wanna take the chance and you have to put down _two_ people instead of one, sometimes you get an odd job like guarding a caravan or fetching some message... The pay's always different." He shrugged. "Like I said, it's just something you get used to."

I managed to catch up with him, although my Vault suit was no longer blue - more of a brownish navy, actually. The smell was bad too. I mean, the whole Wasteland reeked, but this was worse than usual.

"So, these mirelurks... They're mutated crabs, as I'm guessing?" I said. "Doesn't sound too dangerous. What are they, little armored thingies you can flip over and stomp dead?"

"Yeah, good luck with that..." MacCready cringed at my words. "If you wanna try flipping mirelurks over, at least let me make sure they're dead before that."

"Okay. What's up with no swearing?"

He deadpanned. "You'll just keep asking, won't you?"

"Yep!" I said enthusiastically as I stepped into something that definitely wasn't part of the original flooring. My face fell. "Ew, gross."

"This is coming from the woman who pulled out some creepy cybernetics from a dead man's half-blown-out brain." He raised his eyebrows. "You should work on your definition of 'gross'."

"How much _did_ Piper tell you, actually?"

"Enough," he answered. A frown crossed his face. "Actually, Piper was- Hold up. Did you hear that?"

"Ooh, lurking things?" I tried. "Mirkwoods. No, that's from Tolkien. Mirelurkies. Mirelurks."

"Could you be any louder?!" He hissed. Not soon enough - we both had to jump back when a large creature emerged from the water ahead of us. I stared, petrified, as the easily six feet tall animal towered above me.

"Little crabby things..." I squeaked weakly. "Sure."

"Hmpf." MacCready brought up his sniper rifle and fired a single shot, which hit home and tore half of the mirelurk's head off. Terrifyingly enough, that wasn't enough to kill it.

He grabbed the straps of my backpack and pulled me back when two other creatures similar to the first burst from the sewage, apparently alarmed by the shooting.

"If you're shooting, _shoot,_ " he advised. "If you're not, stay out of the way!"

He exchanged the sniper rifle for a hunting rifle similar to mine but bayoneted. I snapped out of my initial surprise at the mirelurks' appearance and gripped the laser rifle tightly. I didn't waste time on aiming too carefully and just showered the nearest creature with several beams of energy.

"What the hell-! A rebound?!"

None of my shots had managed to harm it.

"Aim for their faces!" MacCready advised as he reloaded his weapon. He was smarter than me, constantly moving, not staying in one place long enough to get attacked. "Not the shells! They're super hard, your bullets will ricochet!"

"A bit too late for this advice, but thanks!" I screamed, rolling over right into the stinking water when one of the mirelurks swung its forelegs at me. The pincers were very big and very sharp.

I grimaced, trying not to think of the sewage I was covered in and instead focusing on shooting. I didn't manage to hit the head any time, and those things were surprisingly tough - it didn't seem that my attacks were doing anything other than irritating it.

"Damn!" I cried out when one of them got me. The polymer armor bent under pressure, but before I could get seriously hurt, a well-delivered bullet sank right into the mirelurk's eye socket. MacCready's aim was, as always, impeccable.

"Back!" He shouted, pulling me away from the wounded creature. "Feel like flipping crabs over now?"

"Hell no," I said, hastily reloading. I had used up almost a third of my fusion cells only on this fight - I wasn't very good at managing supplies. Or at shooting, for that matter.

A quick look around confirmed my hopes - two mirelurks lay dead, both of them MacCready's kills, though one had his shell scorched from my attacks. The last remaining animal lunged at us, bleeding a brownish ichor from where its eye used to be.

MacCready took the laser rifle from my hands and placed four shots in its face. The mirelurk fell dead before it managed to reach us.

"Wow," I said. "Do you ever miss?"

"I told you, I've been a sniper since I was ten. I'm-"

"Yeah, I know. You're this tough guy all over... Wonder when you'll drop the act."

He stiffened. "What do you mean?"

"It's an act," I said. "You being all tough and distant. The way you're acting... It doesn't even feel natural most of the time. Yesterday, when we were playing cards, you were laughing and joking around... _That_ felt real." I grinned as I knit my brows together. "So, what's with the swearing?"

"Oh well, there's no stopping your curiosity, is there?"

"Nope." I clicked my tongue with contentment, seeing that he had given in. "I tend to find out what I wanna know... Though ask Cait or Piper and they'll tell you, it _does_ get me into trouble sometimes."

"Well... Okay." MacCready leaned on the rocky wall behind him. He glared at the ground. "It's... I made a promise that I wouldn't talk like that anymore. I'm just trying to uphold it, but it's hella hard. Very hard." He smirked bitterly. "Been swearing ever since I remember."

"Hey, that's a good resolution," I said. I touched his forearm. "Really. You should be proud of yourself for trying to change."

"Yeah. I guess."

There was a moment of silence.

"It was your son, wasn't it." I looked away. "The one you gave this promise to."

MacCready nodded. "Yeah... Duncan asked me to try and change that habit. It was just before I left for the Commonwealth, he was terribly sick, I didn't know if I would even see him again... I promised him I would try to be a better person." He laughed gently. "I know how that sounds coming from someone who kills people for a living. Believe me, I've been thinking about it every time I strike up a contract. Actually... Singing up with you might just have been the best thing that's happened to me recently."

"Give yourself some credit too," I said. "You were the one who reached out first. We wouldn't have got here if it weren't for you."

"Guess so. Still, I just wanted you to know how good it feels to be working for someone who isn't just out them for themselves." He laughed, nervously rubbed the back of his neck, and almost knocked off his marine utility hat in the process. "This sure is a far cry from working with the Gunners. Glad _that's_ behind me."

I smiled. "Good to hear that." _Now, you idiot. Chat him up. Handsome guy and you, together, all alone... Both covered in wastewater._

 _Yeah, that's probably a killer for any romantic mood._

"So, you're not dead after all," Bobbi called out from the tunnel's entrance. "Didn't we arrange you'd come back once you're done with the mirelurks?"

"Didn't," MacCready said. He pushed his hat lower on his forehead. "But we're done and you're here, so it doesn't really matter."

"Yeah," I added. "And since we've risked our lives already for this, you might as well tell us what we're after."

"Fine." Bobbi crossed her arms nonchalantly. "Know Diamond City? The biggest city around these parts, can't miss it. Anyhow, the current mayor is something of a jackass to my people. When he took over circa fifteen years ago, he threw out all the ghouls. So I guess he's got it coming." She clenched her fist. "We're robbing the Diamond City strongroom. You know that big wall under the mayor's office? That's where these tunnels will lead us. That's our target."

"Heh." I smirked, earning a reaction of surprise form my friends. "Good one," I said, letting out a gentle laugh. "That's... rich. That's really rich. But doesn't it sound a bit risky? A break-in like that?"

"Not in the slightest." The ghoul put her hands on her hips. "No interior security, just a guard outside. Diamond City Security is as shitty as security gets in the Wasteland. Sides, the loot is more than worth it."

"Really?" Piper leaned in, clearly interested. "What are we talking about?"

"Really?!" I exclaimed. "You live in Diamond City, how can you be alright with this?!"

"Hey, striking McDonough down a bit is just fine in my book," she protested. She wrinkled her nose. "Gosh, Blue. What's that stink?" She glanced at MacCready, then at me again, and took a step back. "You two smell like you've been swimming in a cesspool."

"It was MacCready's idea!"

Cait burst into laughter, soon joined by Bobbi, and I guess that was the moment it was settled. We were a team, and as that team, we would rob the Diamond City strongroom.

We spent the better part of the day in the dig, following instructions from the map Bobbi had drawn, killing mirelurks and radroaches we encountered along the way and, by all means, digging the tunnel in the places where we couldn't just utilize pre-War sewers. Bobbi said that we would eventually break through to the old subway, and it would be hell of a lot easier from then on. As someone who had no sense of orientation under the ground, I could only rely on what she told us and trust it.

After hours of hard work underground, I guess all any of us could want was a drink. When evening came, MacCready and I went back to the hotel to change into something that didn't smell like piss, but after that, I headed straight to the Third Rail.

Besides, I kind of had something I wanted to check anyway.

I ordered a large bottle of vodka, not caring for the way some other customers looked at me. Hell, this was a bar. A woman walks in all alone and buys a fifth, what's weird about that?

"Nora!" Cait waved to me from one of the tables. I made my way there and sat down on the other empty seat. She looked at the vodka I had bought. "Holy shite woman, you up for a drinkin' competition or what?" She grinned. "Cos if you are, count me in."

I just smirked in response. The drinks were cold, the night young, and the music live.

 _"Better get it while it's hot_

 _I'll meet you in the middle_

 _You can show me what you got_

 _If you're feeling lucky tonight..."_

I leaned back in my chair and glanced at the singer. I had to notice she had a pretty much angelic voice, even if I had never really cared much for jazz.

 _"I do the boys a favor_

 _With all my manual labor_

 _It's good to be a good, good neighbor..."_

I elbowed Cait, the corners of my mouth almost involuntarily twitching upwards. "Love the song. _So_ subtle."

"I like it," she said without a hint of sarcasm. "I appreciate me a good music show."

"Of course you do." I uncapped the bottle of vodka.

 _Here goes._

Right before Cait's eyes, I drank the whole thing. Not all at once, but... The whole thing. Ew. I had never liked the taste of hard spirits, not that they had much of a 'taste' to begin with, but... Well, I guess I wanted to find something out. I glared at the bottle hatefully before taking another sip.

I winced and stuck out my tongue when the bottle was eventually empty.

I raised an eyebrow, looked around... I didn't think I was affected that much.

"Wha- But- What?" Cait gaped at me - the pint in her hand probably didn't look so impressive anymore. "You drank a fifth of vodka?!"

"Dare me to drive?" I gave her a crooked grin. I was still as clear-headed as ever, but I still hadn't decided whether that was good or bad.

"You drank a fifth of vodka! You're conscious! I just-!" She chugged it all (or at least the rest) right before my eyes.

"Well, _you're_ due for one hell of a hangover," I noted casually. "You drank a pint of vodka."

She looked at me like I had done something unforgivably evil.

oooOOO***OOOooo

True to my prediction, Cait woke up with a terrible headache the next day. I generously offered her one of our precious cans of purified water. She sipped it in silence, only stopping to glare at me with spite from time to time. I answered to each of those glares with a smile.

Not even a hint of a hangover, just as I hadn't been drunk before. My organism must have been processing the alcohol so slowly that it didn't affect it properly - or at all, for that matter. So here's to artificially-created slow metabolism. I was practically invincible.

 _Aside from how I take longer to heal, but yeah. Invincible._

Even though MacCready and I had done something of a big laundering, my Vault suit still reeked of sewage after yesterday - but considering we had another day of digging ahead of us, I put it on.

"Is it even worth it?" I asked, stuffing my hands deep in my jacket's pockets as we walked down the tunnel. "All this hard work we're putting in this robbery. I almost feel like an outlaw... I just hope it's worth it."

"It's the _Diamond City_ strongroom," Cait shrugged. "Of course it's worth it. Bottlecaps, chems, meds, weapons, ammo... There'll be plenty for all five of us."

"Six of us," Piper noticed. She nodded at Bobbi, who was talking to some man I hadn't seen before. "Who's he?" she asked once we got closer to the two.

"Guess it's our lucky day." Bobbi smiled widely. "I want you all to meet Mel. He's really skilled with machines, especially robots. Mel, this is everyone else."

The redhead nodded at us, but he was mostly occupied with adjusting something on a metal item he was holding.

"Just a bit here..." His eyes lit up. "There." He threw the thing - which, as I realized a bit belatedly, was a robot - up in the air. Instead of falling down and smashing to pieces, the little sphere buzzed and began hovering roughly a meter above the ground. Its circular shape was disturbed only by the glowing blue add-on Mel had been working on.

"An eyebot?" MacCready asked skeptically, and poked the floating robot with his rifle. "No offense, but these are all over the place in the Capital Wasteland. You want this to help us in digging a tunnel?"

Bobbi smirked. "Show them, Mel."

The man cringed a bit. "Fine. This is Sonya and she's not any ordinary eyebot! I programmed her myself, and practically built from scratch. See, Sonya is supposed to be a tunnel drilling robot. Thanks to some upgrades, she can easily burst through loose dirt and rocks, using powerful ultrasound blasts from the sonic emitter I built. Works like a charm, fastest and safest way to drill in the Wasteland."

I kind of wished I had Danse there with me, because for the life of me, I couldn't understand that terminology. I only worked out that it burst through walls.

"It works?" Cait was skeptical.

It did work. The little robot only had to hover close to the wall we wanted to take down and emit a blast of energy which we humans couldn't hear or see, and the rocks and dirt came crashing down.

"Yeah!" I clenched my fist, a wide grin on my face. "This'll speed up our progress!"

 _"Or_ it'll replace us," MacCready said darkly. "Don't see much use for workers now that you've got this. I guess it would be easier to just get rid of us now. Fewer people to share the loot with."

Bobbi looked at him seriously for a few seconds, before bursting into laughter. "Really? You think I'm stupid enough to fight you? I'm not. And you already know way too much for me to let you go. Oh no, we're in this together and we'll see it through together. Besides," she absently inspected her nails. "I'm not gonna get my hands dirty when I have you people. You're not as useless as you think."

"Well, _that's_ always nice to hear." I smirked. Then, I frowned, looking at the newly-created passage to an old subway tunnel. "Who goes first?" They all looked at me in response. I sighed. "Of course."

I hadn't had many opportunities to see the subway nowadays aside from when I had rescued Nick Valentine from Vault 114, so now I looked around with a nostalgia-fuelled curiosity. The railroad track was all but destroyed by time, and there was actually a half-derailed train, piled up with rubble which blocked the whole tunnel.

"Guess we're not goin' that way," Cait noticed as the others one by one joined me in the tunnel.

Bobbi fished out a hand-drawn map from her pocket. "We don't need to. Come on."

We only had to walk to the nearest station to encounter first trouble. There was a number of feral ghouls on the platform - even if they hadn't noticed us yet, this was dangerous. I flicked off the safety of my laser rifle. It didn't look like we could just sneak past them.

Mel joined up with me and let out a swear when he saw what I was seeing. "Damn. Ghouls," he warned the rest. In a fraction of a second, he understood his mistake and send Bobbi an apologetic smile. "Uh... The bad ghouls, I mean. Feral ghouls."

Cait put a hand on my shoulder. "Let me," she offered. "Please, I've been itchin' for a fight ever since we signed up for this."

I looked to Bobbi. She shrugged. "All yours, Irish girl."

Not without some fire support from our side, of course, but Cait managed to eliminate the ghouls swiftly and efficiently. I was still kind of scared of how good she was with a blade. Also, impressed. But mostly scared.

We fell into something of a routine soon: Bobbi would find the place where the subway tunnels were near enough for us to break through and Mel's robot would blast the wall open. We only got it wrong like three times.

Eventually, we reached a place where Bobbi told us to stop.

"It's here." She hid her map into her pocket. "The subway runs right under the strongroom."

Mel narrowed his brows. "I don't know, Bobbi. Shouldn't Diamond City be a little south of here?"

The ghoul smiled. "This is the right place. Trust me." She clapped her hands. "All right. Mel, do you think your robot can blast through the ceiling?"

"What?" He bit on his lip. "Maybe. I don't know, Sonya's supposed to be drilling tunnels, not manholes. Besides, look at the foundations, this whole place is close to collapsing even without her help."

"Meaning you can do it?" Bobbi asked impatiently. We waited in anticipation.

I had to admit I was feeling a fair rush of adrenaline. I can't say my journey through the Commonwealth had been uneventful, but this was the first time I took part in something so outwardly criminal.

"I can." Mel narrowed his brows. "Better stand back. Sonya, the ceiling."

The realization that we could all, potentially, be buried under a pile of dirt soon, hit me within a few seconds, so I quickly turned tail and ran away from where Sonya was floating towards the ceiling. I could see the others doing the same too, but we didn't get far when the ground started shaking so hard that I almost lost my balance.

When the dust began to settle, we looked around.

"Sonya!" Mel cried out and ran towards the eyebot. Piper and I had a bigger concern.

"MacCready!" We screamed in unison as we threw ourselves to where he had fallen.

He groaned and I let out a relieved sigh. He didn't look like he had been harmed in any way other than being knocked off his feet (and completely covered in dust, but that hardly qualified as an injury).

"I'm fine," he said. "Just-" He stopped to cough. "Just wasn't fast enough."

Piper wrapped her arms around him. "You idiot!"

I looked away as she helped him stand up. Cait was watching everything with a mildly amused expression.

Mel was kneeling down next to the shattered pieces of the eyebot. "Sonya, no..."

Bobbi snorted. "You'll buy yourself a new one," she said. "Come on, we're almost there."

"I can't just buy-" he protested, but she didn't let him finish.

"Just keep your mind on the prize. We're about to get filthy rich."

MacCready shook the dust off his clothes while Bobbi climbed on the pile of rubble from when Sonya blasted a hole in the ceiling. "Keep up, you all," she said.

MacCready climbed up a bit and helped Piper up. She accepted the help, but when he offered me a boost too, I declined.

I looked around the room we now found ourselves in. There wasn't much to look at, actually - it seemed we were in a warehouse of sorts, but this room was small and almost empty - the hall, probably. Bobbi's calculations were spot on.

"Okay. This is it." The ghoul grinned widely, keeping her hand on the knob. She hadn't opened the door yet.

We exchanged glances of approval and some nods. She pushed the door open...

And we found ourselves in the light of a spotlight. Damn! There was supposed to be no interior security... I couldn't strain my relationship with Diamond City!

"Bobbi No-nose. Could have thought so," someone said. Despite our situation, I smirked - No-nose. Ghouls don't have noses. Funny name.

"Damn it," Bobbi whispered.

"And you've brought some friends." The spotlight was turned off and I could see that it was Fahrenheit who was pointing a sniper rifle at us from the catwalk above, but... what would she be doing in Diamond City's strongroom? I had a bad feeling about this.

"What the hell is goin' on?" Cait demanded as she took a step forward.

Fahrenheit slowly shook her head.

"And you've kept the rest of them in the dark about this... Not nice, Bobbi." Louder, she said, "You've all just broken into Hancock's storeroom." She rolled her eyes. "You know, Hancock? The mayor of Goodneighbor?"

I clenched my fists. Piper took a step back, clearly surprised.

"God damn it, Bobbi," Mel growled.

MacCready gripped his sniper rifle so hard that I could see his knuckles turning white. Bad. This was bad.

"Okay, so I lied about a few minor details," said Bobbi. "Big deal! Goodneighbor, Diamond City, it's all the same. Look, there's only one of her and six of us, I'd say we still have fair chances of getting that loot."

"No, it's not okay!" Mel looked betrayed. "When I sign up for a job, I wanna know what it is."

"Besides, it's _Hancock_ we're robbing," Piper pointed out. "The guy tends to hold grudges."

Fahrenheit smirked.

"Counter offer!" She looked down on us. "Get the hell out of here, leave Bobbi, and I'll make sure Hancock learns about your loyalty."

"What kind of loyalty is this?" Bobbi grinned like a madwoman - and considering she was a ghoul, the sight was actually disturbing. "They're working for me! And I sure as hell ain't backing down!" She laughed aloud, almost maniacally. "You all think you're so untouchable! McDonough, Hancock, you're all the same! Hell no! See this?! I did this! I broke into your precious stronghold! Your just as vulnerable as we are, you-"

Her monologue was cut short when a bullet from Fahrenheit's sniper rifle hit her right in the head. I took a step back and almost tripped over at the sight of blood and gore where the ghoul's face had once been.

The body hit the ground with a muffled thud.

"Huh." Fahrenheit reloaded the gun. "Guess you're not working for her anymore. So, what's it gonna be?"

"Oh, we'll be leaving," MacCready assured her quickly. "This was never worth getting ourselves killed." He didn't seem nearly as moved by Bobbi's death as me or Mel. "Come on," he said through gritted teeth. Seeing that we didn't respond, he grabbed Piper by the arm. "Come on."

She looked at him, as if snapping out of a trance, and nodded quickly.

"Hm." I held my head up high, staring right at Fahrenheit. The woman didn't seem to pay it much mind. "I'm not leaving," I said. "Not without some explanation."

"Nora," Cait hissed. "Don't you think it's a bit too dangerous right now?"

I closed my eyes. When I reopened them, there was a firm smile on my face. "You go on ahead. I'll be right there with you."

Piper wriggled out of MacCready's grasp on her and stood by my side. I looked at her without a word, but she just nodded her head. I didn't comment, didn't try to convince her to go, didn't try to stop the others as they left through the main gate, under Fahrenheit's careful watch.

"So," she said, jumping over the guardrail. "You decided to play it safe after all. I wondered if you would."

I just bowed my head. "Of course I would," I said coldly. When I looked up at her, I could feel almost no emotions at all. "I'd be damned if I let any of my friends walk out of here while you could shoot them in the back."

Fahrenheit smirked. "You're catching on... Seems there's a new pawn in Goodneighbor. You're certainly something, the lot of you." She flicked on the safety of her gun. I relaxed almost immediately. "Well, you got what you wanted. There'll be no more dying today."

"You didn't have to kill her, though." I hadn't thought I would be saying that, but here I was. I had to admit, a month ago or so, I would have killed any ghoul on sight. Even now, looking at them made me involuntarily tense my muscles, and my feelings were very conflicted, but I had learned to treat those people as the humans they still were inside. "She didn't deserve to die."

"She tried to rob Mayor Hancock. He's been nothing but hospitable to her, took her in, let her live in his town... If this is the way she's to act back, she'd better not act at all." She snorted. "That's the rule, isn't it? Ever played chess?"

I looked down. "Sometimes, you have to sacrifice a piece to keep the game going," I muttered. She'd said it already.

"Okay, how about this: we'll go to Hancock right now and explain everything. I'll make sure you're properly recognized." She smiled as if there was something we didn't know. "Oh, he's gonna love this."

When we left the storeroom, I was quite surprised to realize we were still in Goodneighbor, in one of those empty warehouses (well, not empty, apparently).

"How did you even know we'd be there?" Piper asked as we both tried to keep up with Fahrenheit.

"Oh please. Hancock's been suspecting Bobbi for days before you lot even joined in. It was just a matter of time from our side." She opened the door to the Old State House and raised her eyebrows. "So. You coming?"

"Oh, look," Piper murmured once we entered Hancock's office- well, lounge. "If it isn't my second least favorite mayor."

"And if it isn't Diamond City's #1 troublemaker," he said, not very surprised to see us. "What you doing here, Piper?"

Fahrenheit recapped the whole situation to Hancock in just a few sentences, and she made it look like our little argument with Bobbi had been the ultimate sign of loyalty to the ghoul mayor. It made me feel uncomfortable - yet again people were giving me much more credit than I deserved.

"Okay..." He sat down on the sofa. "So here's the drill... Drink? Thought so. Anyways, here's how it is. You people are officially under 'alright' in my book. Most would've just taken the stash and run, so... let me just say I'm glad you didn't. Now. How much did she offer you?"

"She, um... She didn't," Piper said uncomfortably. I had the strange impression she and Hancock didn't get along that well.

"Huh. Let me see, then... Three hundred caps per person, there were... four of you? That's twelve hundred."

Fahrenheit stirred. "You can't just throw money around like that."

"Hey, you're not my mother. I can throw my money all I want. In case I didn't make it clear enough, I'm in charge here." He smiled. "It's alright, you can leave us." He put up his hand when he saw she was about to protest. "I think I can handle this one."

Fahrenheit nodded and walked outside, closing the door behind herself.

"So," I said. "This is your perfect ending, right? Order restored. Though I have to warn you, there's some mess back in your storeroom."

"It's fine," he said.

"Uh... No?" Piper laughed. "This is as far from okay as it gets. Your bodyguard shot a woman."

"Yeah. I ordered her dead."

Hancock sighed and slowly walked over to the window. He brushed his fingers on the pane, looking at the street outside. It was raining.

"Hey, can I... ask you something?" He looked away. "I've been working really hard on this town, I wanted it to be a friendly place for all freaks and outcasts, I wanted it to be something Diamond City never could. I've been trying so hard to keep this mess in check that I don't know..." He turned around, facing us. "Is this what I'm becoming? Some kinda tyrant? I didn't get where I am without stepping on people, sure, but today was almost like murder."

"She was crazy," Piper muttered. Hancock didn't react.

"Did I do the right thing?" he asked. I didn't know if he wanted an answer. He just took off his tricorn and folded in his hands. "Even this feels heavier by every day."

I was surprised by this side he had never shown before. He really did care... Shit. Maybe I shouldn't judge people too soon.

"I just, I don't know, I tried so hard not to turn out like my brother, but we're just the same in the end, aren't we?" Hancock gritted his teeth, hung his head. "Damn it."

"Hey. You're not bad." I had to fight all my instincts and common sense to actually reach out and touch the ghoul, but I grabbed his hand. He looked up at me. "I mean, just look at this place." I led him to the window. The view was a bit clouded up by the rain, but the neon lights of Goodneighbor shone even through that. "You worked for that. And these people really have a strong respect and loyalty to you. You bring them together, Hancock. And what you did for me? You're just... good," I realized. "You're a good person."

"Good, that's new." He laughed. "That's... new."

"I believe in you," I said. _I can not believe I'm doing this._ I kissed him on the cheek. "I really do."

"Well, of course _you_ do. But only because you're so damn confusing." He smirked. "I dig that."

"So what's your story?" Piper put her hands on her hips.

"In short?" Hancock laughed. "She came in here, freaked out about me being a ghoul, came back for a job, she freaked out again and we made out."

I quickly stepped away from him. "That is _so_ not how it happened!"

"That's how I remember it," he shrugged.

"Well, I- You were high! What can you know?" I shot him a charming grin. "Besides, much as I'm flattered, you're not my type."

"Yeah," Piper agreed. "She's more into soldiers. No one digs politicians."

I narrowed my brows. Soldiers? "What the hell's _that_ supposed to mean?!"

"Your husband. Wasn't he a soldier?"

 _Oh._ "Nate! Right, he- He was, you- You meant- Not that there's anyone else-" Why would I even think of Danse? Of course she meant Nate.

"You alright there, Blue?" Piper raised her eyebrows at me. "You're completely red."

I really had to save myself further embarrassment. I quickly shook Hancock's hand. "Well, thanks for everything. It was great talking, maybe we can do this again someday- I mean _meet_! Meet again someday! Yeah. That's a great idea. I'll- I'll see you."

I practically ran out of the room, Piper closely following me. She hadn't even bothered saying goodbye to Hancock.

I slowed down, then eventually stopped, once I was on the street. The cold rain was like a wakeup call, it was just so different from the warmth of Hancock's office.

I looked down. There was a small puddle forming on the street.

"What did he mean, about his brother?" I asked quietly.

Piper looked up at the sky, raindrops rolling down her face almost like tears.

"No one names their kid Hancock, you know. The guy's real name is John McDonough."

I felt my eyes widen. I looked back at the balcony of the Hancock's office. "So you're saying the mayor of Diamond City and the mayor of Goodneighbor?"

"Yup. They're brothers."

Now, that was almost poetic. And they must've had some serious falling out, taking how antagonistic the two settlements were.

"Huh." I glanced up. "Listen, I don't know about you, but I really need more ammo. Those damn mirelurks cost me almost all my fusion cells." And MacCready was the one who had killed them in the end. I was a terrible fighter. "What's this shop called?" I took off my glasses and wiped them with the sleeve of my bomber jacket. Still wet, a bit smudged... but visible. "Kill Or Be Killed."

What a fitting name for all of the Wasteland.

"Yeah..." Piper grabbed my sleeve and dragged me into the store next door. "But I'd prefer Daisy's Discounts if you're in Goodneighbor. Less likely to rip you off."

I managed to trade some of those useless weapons MacCready had picked up during our scavenging of the subway for ammunition to Righteous Authority and a few bullets that fit my revolver. (Though I felt that Daisy was rather generous with her pricing.)

"Oh, and by the by," Daisy added as I loaded the new fusion cell into my laser rifle, "the caravans from down south have returned." She smiled. "With some good news, too."

Piper grinned so widely she had to close her eyes. "Great. I'll go tell RJ."

I blinked - she'd said it like she was expecting me to know who that was.

"Who's RJ?" I asked, completely confused.

"MacCready." Piper raised an eyebrow skeptically. "It's his name? Robert Joseph MacCready? RJ in short. No offense, Blue, but doesn't take a genius to figure it out."

I stared at her. "He never told me that," I complained. That hurt. He hadn't even told me his full name.

All of a sudden, I was having doubts about 'just' Danse and 'just' Cait. I knew many people in the Wasteland didn't have a last name - I myself had given up mine - but MacCready had shaken my trust in my friends. With all that we've shared, about Duncan and Shaun, I had thought we were friends... And he hadn't bothered to tell me his name?

And why would he tell _Piper?_

I rubbed my forehead, angry at myself for overthinking. I was _not_ jealous. I wasn't. "Yeah, Pipes, you... You go and tell him." It was all I could do not to wince. "I'll wait here."

I glanced at Daisy. She didn't look like she wanted to eat me.

"So," I cleared my throat, wanting to break that awkward silence. "You're pre-War?"

"In the flesh." She smiled kindly. "I get that question a lot. Everyone thinks it's something extraordinary."

"So am I," I muttered. "It's no big deal."

"Huh?" Daisy looked at me. I shook my head, a small smile on my lips.

"Nothing," I said. Hell, no one would believe me anyway.

MacCready, with Piper and Cait in tow, burst through the front door. He was dripping with water, but he didn't seem to mind that much. He went straight for Daisy, but stopped a few feet away from her, almost as if unsure what to do.

"...Duncan?" he choked out finally. His eyes were shining, but it was almost as if he didn't want to let his hopes up.

Daisy smiled. "He's alright. It'll take him at least a few months to fully recover, but the doctors say he'll live."

MacCready covered his mouth, his eyes glimmering with tears. He grabbed the closest person, Piper, and placed a passionate kiss on her lips. When he pulled away and noticed the way all four of us were looking at him, he blushed deeply.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I just... haven't been this happy ever since I found out he was sick."

"Hey," Piper laughed. "It's fine. Rule #1: no one _ever_ apologize for kissing me."

"But... But this is amazing! This is just..." He looked around, as if trying to see all of us at once.

Daisy, leaning on the counter with just about the friendliest smile.

Cait, wringing water out of her wet hair.

Piper, a small blush on her cheeks, grinning widely.

Me, my arms folded across my chest as I observed his joy with a fond feeling of nostalgia.

"Thank you," MacCready said. "I can't thank you enough."

And at that moment, even though I had this underlying feeling that _my_ son wasn't really safe and alright, I felt really, really good about myself. I had helped this man, barely more than a stranger, rescue his son... And I was rewarded with one of the strongest friendships I had had in the Commonwealth.

It was more than worth it.

"So, where to now?" MacCready asked. "I promised to stick around, so might as well join this whole freak show."

Piper laughed, even though to me it barely qualified as a joke. She patted him on the shoulder. "Good to have you aboard." She crossed her arms. "As to where we're going, we can still head out before sunset. Or spend another night at the hotel here."

They looked at me. What? Was _I_ in charge now? I didn't want to be in charge.

"Actually," I said. "I kind of wanted to do one more thing, since we're already in Goodneighbor."

I silently promised myself that one of these days, I would go to the Memory Den as an actual client. But so far, I hadn't had much luck with that. Right now, I just wanted to ask Doctor Amari some things...

I was kind of hoping she would be the person who'd tell me more about the Institute. Or getting there, at least.

She was pleased to see me, if I could judge from her surprised expression. Or maybe she just hadn't expected me to survive that long in the Commonwealth.

"Nora! Did you have any luck finding the Institute?" Amari asked - not very discreetly, if I were to judge.

"Doctor, it's been _a month_ ," I said. "I'm not some miracle worker."

"Maybe it'll be years until we find a way in," Piper added quietly.

I glanced at her. "Piper..."

"We're prepared for that, you know. We know what we're getting ourselves into." She looked down, at her feet. "No one ever said this was gonna be easy! But we _will_ do it. Because that's the right thing to do. Because people deserve the truth. I've been investigating the Institute for almost two years now and I didn't do much progress until Nora here came along. I chose this path, just as everyone in this room. Doctor Amari, we're not here because of some crazy coincidence-" She glanced at Cait. "Well, maybe some of us _are_. You gotta be at the right place at the right time, I guess." I shared the smile that crept onto Piper's lips. "But still. We're all here because we chose to, because we are ready to sacrifice however long it takes. And we _are_ on the right path to getting to the bottom of this."

I put a hand on her shoulder. "Yeah. And once we do, you'll be one of the first people to know."

Doctor Amari smiled a bit.

"That's quite a speech you gave there, Piper. Maybe I should start reading your newspaper." She cleared her throat. "But, to the point. Because I take it this isn't a social call."

"No, I..." I nervously massaged the back of my neck. "I just needed some advice of, uh, scientific nature."

"Be my guest. What is it?"

"The most solid lead we've got on the Institute right now is a runaway scientist, Brian Virgil. He's supposedly hiding in some place called the Glowing Sea." I looked at them all, because I suddenly realized this was something I hadn't told my friends before. "Anyone know anything about the Glowing Sea?"

"Natick. According to what people say, that's where the nuke that wiped out Boston hit," Piper said. "Most irradiated place in the Commonwealth. Good luck going there, Blue."

"How do I prepare?" I asked. "There's gotta be a way to survive that much radiation... Right? Doctor?"

Doctor Amari rubbed her chin.

"You'll need to stock up on anti-radiation supplies. Rad-X, RadAway... As much as you can carry, perhaps you'll need even more."

"That's easy. All we need is money, right?" MacCready said reassuringly. I didn't like the 'we' in his words, as if I would take them with me on this.

"You might also want to find a guardian angel in the form of a suit of power armor."

I stopped listening, hung up on the two words, 'guardian angel'.

Of course. Because who else?

As I ran out of the room, I could still hear MacCready's question "Where's she off to?"

Piper laughed. "She does that."

The rest of that conversation was lost to me as I got farther and farther away. I burst out of the Memory Den into Goodneighbor.

"Wait, Nora!"

I stopped to turn around and see Cait following me a few meters behind. I absently noted that the thin brown jacket Danse had bought her in Diamond City wouldn't be enough to protect her from cold when winter came soon - though it _did_ look better than the sleeveless corset she had been wearing before. Why did that matter now? I rubbed my forehead; I was getting clearly sidetracked.

"You're goin' to get Paladin Danse, we're finally movin' on with this thing?" She looked at me in a way that clearly said there would be no discussion with whatever she had planned. "Then I'm goin' with you."

"Cait, the Brotherhood of Steel is no place for-"

"For what?" She snapped. "A child?! Say it."

 _For a raider._

I bit my lower lip until I felt blood on the tip of my tongue. _Good riddance, Nora. Half-drown yourself, cut up your hands, and now your face._ I really needed someone to save me from myself.

"...Nothing, Cait. It doesn't matter." I let out a soft sigh. "Come on."

She didn't move from place.

"I'm sorry," I said. "We'll meet in Diamond City, promise. Give me three days."

"Three days and we're all together again?"

I nodded.

"A'ight." Cait smiled. "I can work with that!"

 **Level up. New perk: Cold-blooded(2) -** **you're an effect of active cryotechnology and** **don't suffer any effects from most alcoholic beverages.**


	21. Duty Or Dishonor

**A/N: Again, I am _so_ sorry, there is no excuse. So I won't even try to make up one. I thought I'd be able to finish this book in less than a year but here we are over thirteen months since I've begun and only halfway through the story... Guess all I can say is that I'll try to do better.**

 **A longer chapter this time, kind of as an apology, mostly character development. Hope y'all enjoy :)**

 **Also, shout out to Mellisa Hart, TimmyQuivy, Chanandelier and Yugopolis on FANDOM, because they've set up a Wikia for this book! It's apparently only now growing, and there aren't many articles yet, so these guys will probably appreciate any fan input too.**  
 **I just wanted to say that this is, for me, the biggest way an author can be recognized and I thank you.**

 **But enough of me rambling. Onto the story.**

* * *

 **Chapter Nineteen  
Duty or Dishonor**

* * *

"Let me get this straight," Paladin Danse said, looking at me from over the table. _"You_ want to go to the Glowing Sea."

I nodded.

"And... You want _me_ to go there with you."

"Yes, sir."

"And do you have even the slightest idea what you're talking about?" He drummed his fingers on the table. "The Glowing Sea isn't simply some irradiated area that you can brave with just the aid of anti-radiation supplies. It's the most dangerous place in the Commonwealth, if not the entire Wasteland. Have you ever had to fight a Deathclaw?"

I shook my head. I hadn't, but everyone was tremendously afraid of those. "No, sir. Not yet."

"There will be dozens in the Glowing Sea. Radscorpions, feral ghouls... All creatures of radiation which do not merely survive in that area, they _thrive_ living there. You would have to face almost endless combat with adversaries you wouldn't even be able to see through the thick fog of radioactive waste fumes that covers the land... The very air is toxic, not just radioactive. Even wearing an enclosed environmental suit or a full suit of power armor, you would be faced with numerous health issues."

I looked down. I wasn't sure if he was exaggerating or not, but I had known what I was getting into when I had first accepted this mission from Elder Maxson. Piper was right - I had chosen this path.

"Even so, sir," I said evenly, "I'm still determined to go."

Danse sighed. "I didn't expect there would be stopping you... But it's fair to say I've tried." He stood up and helped me up too. "I still hope you're not stupid enough to assume we're going to go there immediately."

"No worries," said I. " We have to go to Diamond City first anyway. I promised Cait we'd meet her there." I nervously glanced at the floor. "And listen... I'm really sorry about this whole thing, I know it set us back a few weeks."

"No need to apologize. I've never really been one to avoid getting WIA, so it's not entirely your fault." Danse looked at the dog lying on the floor. "And you don't feel bad about leaving Dogmeat behind?"

"Oh come on. It's practically your dog by now," I said, absently scratching Dogmeat's belly. "He's better off with someone who actually _remembers_ to feed him."

"He likes you," Danse noticed, a small smirk playing on his lips. I watched that with interest - he wasn't one to smile that often, so every time he did, I was caught slightly off-guard. A bit like MacCready - although _he_ had been doing better lately. _Guess good company does good for good people._

"Of course he does." I shrugged, trying to be as casual about it as possible. "Animals _love_ me."

oooOOO***OOOooo

"Thanks," I said, smiling at the vertibird's pilot. He nodded in return.

"Of course, ma'am. Good luck."

Danse looked away. "Whatever."

We stepped back a safe distance to watch the 'copter fly away. Ah well, so we were back in the field again. _Guess this was bound to happen eventually._

I adjusted the backpack straps on my shoulders and looked at the street ahead.

"So, Diamond City," I said, ready for mission recap. "We grab Cait and whoever else wants to join us, leave the town, and then...?"

"And then we find some productive way to spend the upcoming winter." Danse reluctantly put on the metal helmet of his power armor. His voice immediately got that characteristical reverb. "Though I would still suggest doing some side work for the Brotherhood. I just don't want you to expose yourself to any unnecessary danger." He looked straight at me. "Like going to the Glowing Sea."

I was still set on going.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I shrugged nonchalantly. "Let's just go."

It seemed Diamond City was even more paranoid than ever, because we were stopped at the gates and straightforwardly asked if we weren't synths. Which we, obviously, answered 'no' to. (I was also pretty sure that if I were a synth, I would've said 'no' anyway.) I didn't know what was going on, but the social state of the Commonwealth wasn't heading in a good direction.

I immediately headed to Piper's house while Danse decided to stock up on some supplies first.

"So I'm guessin' she does this often," Cait summed up after the initial emotions at seeing me again, alive and in one piece, died down.

Piper nodded eagerly. "Oh yeah. Here's on my list of things Nora does: runs away without explanation, runs off without explanation, runs-"

"Thanks, Pipes," I smiled bitterly, "I think they get the image."

"So I guess you bein' here means we're off," Cait said. "I've been itchin' for a fight ever since we got here. Count me in, whatever you've got planned."

"I'll be going, too," added MacCready. "I promised to try and keep you safe, now didn't I?"

"That's fine. You don't _have to_ travel with us, no one's forcing you to." I put my hand on his forearm. "We're square. You don't owe me anything."

"I'm not doing this because I have a debt!" He closed his eyes. "You're my friend. The best one I've had in a very long time... Ever since Lucy died, I thought I'd never trust anyone, ever again." MacCready smiled. "I'm glad you proved me wrong, Nora."

"So we're all on board this Institute fighting train, huh?" Piper crossed her arms with a smirk. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

"You _do_ know we're not actually fighting, right?"

"Shouldn't have joined the Brotherhood of Steel, then," she noticed. "If you wanna be a soldier, fighting is what you get."

Instead of answering, I yelped and jumped away because the door I had been leaning on swung open.

"Oh, my God!" Danse immediately went to me, holding my arm up. "I'm _so_ sorry, are you alright?"

MacCready stared at the soldier as if struck by lightning. Danse too appeared shocked, though he was slightly better at concealing his emotions.

The silence that fell afterwards felt so heavy that you could practically _feel_ it hanging in the air.

Too late did I join the simple facts - had I not been listening closely enough when they talked?

 _I don't remember much of my early childhood, but when I was ten years old or so, I settled down in a place called Little Lamplight._

That was the only bit of information Paladin Danse had given me about his life in the Capital Wasteland, but MacCready...

 _I found this colony called Little Lamplight. Could you believe I was actually the mayor for a while? Me? Ridiculous, I know._

They had known each other. Of course they had known each other.

How couldn't they?

MacCready stepped forward. "Listen... Shit." He seemed to completely forget about his promise not to swear. "You know what, I have no excuse. I was... Well, I was an asshole."

"Yes, you were," Danse agreed eagerly.

"I'm so sorry. I just..." MacCready slowly slid the sniper rifle off his shoulder and with reluctance handed it to the soldier. "It's the same one," he explained quietly.

"I know." Danse looked away but didn't accept that - to call it what it was - peace offering. "Keep it. All matters aside, you _are_ the best marksman I've ever had the misfortune of meeting. We are going to need the edge your sniping skills could give us."

MacCready nodded his head in acknowledgement.

That was both the first and the last time I saw the two of them talk in the next few days.

oooOOO***OOOooo

"Glowing Sea? You sure about that, Blue?" Piper cocked her head at me. "I mean, if you're sure it'll help us find the Institute, I'm with you, but that place is dangerous."

"No," MacCready protested. "Gee, Piper, don't put any ideas in her head! Nora, you're not going, period. It's _absurdly_ dangerous this time of year. Just wait those two or three months."

I looked to Paladin Danse, the only - as I assumed - ally I had at the moment. He just crossed his arms and looked away.

"As much as I hate to admit it, the pest is right."

"What was that, Danse?" MacCready wrinkled his nose. "I couldn't really hear you over all that clanking."

"Cute. Did ya come up with that on your own?" Cait immediately jumped to Danse's defense.

The atmosphere in our group had been tense, to say the least, ever since Danse and MacCready first met each other. I still wasn't sure what their history was, but it was clear they weren't very fond of each other.

I coughed and, with trembling hands, zipped up Danse's bomber jacket on me.

It was getting cold already - very cold. I knew the others didn't feel it as much as I did so I tried not to show it, but... Danse knew, because he had been there, and I was pretty sure Piper was on to something too.

The argument died out before it had the change to fully begin, because everyone looked at me with varying degrees of concern. I coughed again, into my fist.

"I'm alright," I said. "I'm fine. Just a bit cold."

"Well..." MacCready took off his utility hat and brushed his hair off his forehead before putting it back on. "We should be looking for someplace to spend the night anyway. I'll try to set up a campfire then, okay?"

I offered him a weak smile. The good thing was that our collective well-being always came before the personal grudges any of us might have had for each other.

Danse nodded at us to go and we set off. Dogmeat ran from Piper to MacCready, begging and whining quietly - clearly because they were lugging our food supplies. I didn't blame him - I myself was feeling quite hungry too.

I looked up at the sky. _This is pointless._ Everything was against me - time, weather, now even my friends. Why didn't they want to let me go to the Glowing Sea?! Was I really that helpless in their eyes?

"Heya."

I brought my eyes back to the ground - more concretely, to Piper who had slowed down to walk beside me. I had fallen behind on purpose, not wanting to get caught up between Danse and MacCready, but also because I wasn't feeling very talkative right now.

"Hi," I said quietly.

"I just wanted to..." Piper took off her scarf and looked at me with a question lingering in her eyes. I just smiled. "You know, Blue, you're like a whole handbasket of amazing." She wrapped the scarf around my neck. "Don't go catching a cold or freezing to death or something, will ya?"

I nodded my head, my smile now completely sincere. "Duly noted."

She returned the nod and sped up to join up with MacCready a few meters ahead. I tucked the scarf under my jacket. It _was_ a lot warmer now.

We stopped to eat what could be considered dinner not much later. We were in Boston's suburbs, but we still hadn't found any decent place to hole up in. If it came to it, we could camp under the open sky, but it wasn't the safest idea - even if we stood guard.

"There you go," said MacCready as he handed me some of the roasted molerat he had prepared. So far he was the best cook I'd met in the Wasteland, but I couldn't help but eye the food suspiciously.

"Guess that's better than Danse's good for nothing' soup," Cait noticed.

"Stew," Danse corrected her.

"No, it was soup."

"If that's what she says," MacCready smirked. "Maybe some people aren't meant to do some things."

"Yes, remind me - what _do_ you do?"

I walked away, tired. I'd had enough of those two. I sat down with Cait and Piper a safe distance away from the campfire.

"That's the problem," Piper snorted, irritated. "Men. Get two of them in the same room and you can bet they'll find something to argue about."

Now that she'd said it, I realized there had never been more than one guy in our group before.

"Yeah, what's with all that alpha male shite? It's like they can't bear not bein' the best," Cait agreed. "Every guy has to show others he's better than the rest of 'em." She crossed her arms. "They'd completely die out if it weren't for us."

"I know, right? The way I see it, every man needs a woman to set him straight," I laughed.

We looked at each other.

Piper raised her hand. "I call MacCready!"

"You can't just _call_ MacCready," I protested.

Cait narrowed her brows. "I call Danse!"

I hid my face in my hands, resigned.

oooOOO***OOOooo

"See anything?" I asked. MacCready put his binoculars away.

"There's this big, mostly intact building several blocks away. Looks empty."

"Oh thank God." _Finally_. "I'll go get the others."

The building turned out to be an abandoned schoolhouse, which was like a blessing. Many rooms to choose from - one of them at least was bound to be safe.

It turned out more than soon that it _wasn't_ empty, for we stumbled upon several feral ghouls in the first classroom we entered. I decided not to trust MacCready's instincts from now on.

I raised the laser pistol to shoot, but I hesitated. There was definitely something different about these ferals from all the ghouls I had seen before.

I felt my eyes widen. Slowly, I lowered my gun. _No_.

I felt almost frozen, my body unable to move, as I stared at the small group of ghouls running at me.

"Oh boy..." Piper whispered softly. "These are..."

With just the edge of my vision, I could see that her hands were trembling as she tried to aim her revolver at the zombies.

"What the hell are you doin'?!" Cait screamed. "Shoot 'em!"

But I couldn't. I couldn't pull that trigger on them. Not on those poor little things... When I looked in their eyes, I saw emptiness. No intelligence. They were animals now, not people, they had been for centuries... But their bodies were still those of children. Those were... had been... just kids. I wouldn't... I couldn't shoot a child!

Cait brutally pushed me into Piper and aimed her shotgun at the nearest of the feral ghouls. The gunshot was loud and it did a pretty good job of making me snap out of the trance. Two of the ghouls got hit and staggered backwards. One of them fell and didn't get up again.

Piper aimed her revolver at the charging ghouls, but I could see tears in the corners of her eyes and I knew she wouldn't pull the trigger.

The ghoul nearest to me fell dead as a precisely-fired shot pierced her - no, _its_ \- head. I knew they weren't people anymore, I did - but I was still startled at how easily MacCready had shot a little girl.

Danse gritted his teeth, turning the hull of his laser rifle away from the ghouls. "Damn it," he growled. Instead of fighting back, he jumped away. Piper seemed to have taken on a similar tactic.

I was still half-paralyzed and would have fallen prey to a little ghoul who jumped at me with bared teeth if it weren't for Cait, who slashed the nape of its neck with her knife.

"What is _wrong_ with you?!" MacCready exclaimed, reloading his sniper rifle. "They're not really children!"

But I still couldn't. One look at Piper and Danse confirmed my suspicion that neither could they - even though the latter looked like he was fighting a battle with himself.

We couldn't.

There was something in Cait and MacCready that the three of us didn't have. Whether it was something good or bad... I couldn't be sure.

It was over in less than a few minutes. All the feral ghouls were either killed or had run off somewhere.

Out of the five of us, only two had engaged in the fighting.

"What _was_ that?!" MacCready exclaimed. "In the Wasteland, if you hesitate to kill,  
you get killed! Simple enough!"

None of us could answer. Danse clenched his fists. Piper looked down, clearly ashamed. I barely even registered what was going on.

"Those were feral ghouls. They weren't _people_. They weren't _children_! And I get  
that those two are naïve idiots," he waved a hand at Piper and me, "but you?! Danse, of all people?!" He clenched his fists, clearly angry at us. "You should know better!"

I looked at him. MacCready always tried to act so cool and aloof, even if everyone could see straight through it... But he really was angry now. It was real.

"Nora?" He took a step back. "What are you smiling for?"

I closed my eyes, but I couldn't wash that smile off my face. "Nothing."

 _He_ _really does care, huh?_

Of course he did. It was as clear as rain.

"...Of all the people?" Cait whispered. We all turned to look at her. She furrowed her brow. "What do you mean, Danse of all the people?"

"She doesn't know a thing, does she?" MacCready crossed his arms. "Tell her. About the Brotherhood of Steel."

It was my turn to wrinkle my forehead. "What do you mean? Danse, what- What's he talking about?"

"You've been to Goodneighbor, right? You've met ghouls," MacCready said. "You know, ghouls. Not ferals like the ones you've just refused to kill. And you've got ghoul friends too, right?"

I wouldn't call Hancock or Daisy my _friends_ , but... they weren't bad people. What was he getting at?

I remembered. Something Piper had mentioned when she was upset I had joined the Brotherhood.

"They don't tolerate the existence of ghouls." I said it in almost perfect unison with MacCready.

Danse was looking at me in a very strange way.

"That was hypocrisy, y'know." Cait fully joined the conversation now. "I mean, if you're havin' a problem shootin' a ghoul, you don't go stickin' with people who are against ghouls."

"I'm not trying to judge you guys," MacCready stepped forward. "Honest. But this isn't good."

"They were children," Piper whispered.

I looked at her, shocked. She hadn't spoken a word for hours, I had almost forgotten about her.

She looked at the revolver she was holding. "They were children and they were frightened and so, _so_ lost. They had everything they were stripped away from them in a moment, without a warning. And they were turned into those... Those mindless zombies which would forever live in their little bodies..." Piper shut her eyes. "I couldn't shoot. And Danse, and Nora... I understand why they didn't, either."

A heavy silence fell between us.

"Can we please just forget this?" Piper asked. "Please."

"Well," Cait took off her backpack and started going through it, "I might have somethin' that'll help us take the edge off."

She pulled out a bottle of something.

"Moonshine?" I guessed.

"Nah, rum!" She looked at the skeptical expressions on Danse and Piper's faces. "Come on, let's just... Let's just take this one evenin' easy. _One_. Can't you loosen up for one evenin'?"

"I'll set up a fire," MacCready offered.

"...Okay," Piper agreed, "but somewhere else. I don't wanna spend the night here."

We moved a few classrooms away. This one seemed empty. MacCready got a pretty decent campfire started using a few chairs as firewood, and it began to feel much safer.

Cait and Piper didn't have sleeping bags, but we still managed to set up something of a small camp around the fire. Cait was right, we needed to take the edge off.

I looked at the bottle in my hands. I knew it'd have no effect on me, but I didn't mind drinking good rum. I raised it to my lips, but I didn't get to drink.

"You should make a toast," Cait noticed. "It's appropriate."

I looked at the bottle. "Maybe we should all say something. We'll just pass it around. We're all drinking to _something_ , right?"

There were murmurs of agreement from the rest of my friends. I closed my eyes. Instead of saying anything, I took a swig.

I raised the bottle just above my head.

"To the past," I said.

Danse seemed miffed when I gave it to him. "...To the future."

He passed the bottle to MacCready, who looked at it for a moment.

"To all the loved ones we've lost," he finally whispered.

"And the friends we've made," Cait added. She was the only one who tried to make it at least a little optimistic.

We all looked at Piper, the only one left. She took the bottle of rum as carefully as if it were to explode. She knit her eyebrows, staring down at the ground. The silence was complete.

"To every good moment in life!" she exclaimed, raising the bottle so abruptly that a few drops even spilled. "To each and every day that was worth the while! To all the memories we hold in us, and to the hope that they may live on forever! May those memories, those good moments in our lives, not die or be lost to time!"

Piper blushed. Slowly, she put the bottle to her lips and took a small sip.

"...That's what I'll drink to," she mumbled.

MacCready smiled. "I'd drink to that any day."

I looked at the ground, smiling a bit too. _Piper always did have a way with words... We all made it so simple and narrow._

But the words _she_ had said... They were still revibrating in my head. _To all the memories we hold in us and the hope that they may live on forever._ I snickered under my breath. There goes both mine and Danse's in one sentence. How _did_ she do this?

I stood up and looked around the room.

Danse was standing by the paneless window and looking outside, his back turned on all of us. I don't know why, but he looked tense to me. Was he still angry at MacCready? Or at me for making friends with ghouls in Goodneighbor?

Cait was sitting in the exact opposite corner of the room, playing mumbley peg with her combat knife. I couldn't read into her emotions too much.

MacCready and Piper were talking about something - I didn't want to eavesdrop right now, but it seemed to be a nice story. They were smiling.

I pushed my hands into my pockets and headed towards the windows.

"It was warmer by the fire," I noticed.

Danse didn't even look at me. "You should go back there, then. You shouldn't get exposed to too much cold."

"Then come back there, big guy. I'm not going without you."

He didn't smile like I was. He just put his hands on the window frame and continued to observe the pitch black night outside.

"What's wrong?" I asked quietly.

He looked at me. "Why would you think something is?"

"You don't smile anymore," I noticed. Danse frowned.

"I- I'm sorry. I'll try to rectify that."

I gave him a gentle shove. "You're such an idiot," I laughed.

"...Thank you?"

I patted him on the shoulder and walked over to the other side of the room, where Cait was sitting by herself.

"Hey there," I said.

She panicked, quickly hiding something under her jacket. It fell out, of course.

"None of your damn business," she snapped.

I looked at it. It was a Psycho dispenser.

"Cait..."

"I said, none of your damn business." She pulled the knife she had been playing with out of the floor. "This is my own business."

I tensed and nervously massaged my nape. "Cait?" I tried softly.

"I'm fine." She threw the knife at the nearest desk. "Just gimmie some space, I would much appreciate it."

I didn't want to, but I left her alone as she wanted.

I returned to the fireplace, feeling that my mission had failed completely. As soon as I approached, Piper quickly moved away from MacCready, almost as if nervous.

"So, um, Blue..." She cleared her throat. "I guess those two won't be joining us right now?"

"No." I crossed my arms. "Listen, it's pretty late. How about we call it a day? I can take first guard shift."

Cait offered to stay up with me, but the others didn't pretend they weren't tired and we quickly took out the fire. Cait and I sat in the hallway, right next to the stairs. We didn't talk for over an hour until she broke the silence.

"Nora?"

"Yeah?" I answered absently, staring at the drywall falling off on the other side of the staircase.

"Thanks."

I looked at her. "For what?"

She smiled, shaking her head at me. "Nevermind."

I wasn't really sure how to answer, so we just sat in silence for a while again.

"I'm tryin', you know." She hung her head. "I'm really tryin' to cut back on it. It's not like I wanna- I mean, I _do_ wanna, but it's just so fuckin' hard resistin'."

"I know, Cait. I know."

Again, silence.

I was really frustrated that now that we finally had some kind of solid lead, when I finally knew exactly where to go and what to do, I couldn't do anything. But Danse and MacCready had made it clear enough that they were against my idea. My idea was better, quite frankly. We wouldn't have to wait and the only person who stood to get hurt was me - and I didn't mind that!

"I mean, it's Danse and MacCready. What's a Danse and MacCready to my personal plans? Maybe I shouldn't listen to them..." I felt almost as though a lightbulb had lit up in my head. It was so obvious. "I shouldn't listen to them."

"I don't know, Nora," Cait fidgeted a bit. "While I'm always for the rules are made for breakin' kinda approach, I don't really think it's a good idea..."

I stood up, angry at her all of a sudden. "Well, you have a thing for Danse, so of course _you'll_ take his side!"

"A thing?!" she exclaimed. "Yeah, he's like the father I never had! You know?! My real dad sold me for drinkin' money the moment I turned sixteen! Don't fuckin' blame me for bein' just a bit on Danse's side here! He's been nothin' but understandin' and kind for me, and besides, he's right! You can't go and get yourself killed like that." Cait let out a soft sigh. "Goin' to the Glowin' Sea now is the single most stupidest thing you could do."

I looked away. Slowly, I sat back down on the stairs beside her.

"Your father..." I whispered. "I'm really sorry, Cait. I'm so, so sorry."

"There's no reason for you to be," she huffed. "Those two wastes of humanity who happened to be me parents didn't even deserve that much. I'm not the perfect daughter, but hell. At least maybe a kid deserves _some_ love? And I'm sure no kid deserves the treatment I received from 'em."

I wasn't sure how to answer.

"I'm sorry," I repeated. It was so stupid, but it was the only thing I could say.

We both stirred when the door behind our backs opened, causing a sudden and loud sound that made both of us alert and tense. We looked in that direction to see what was the reason.

Paladin Danse, covered in sweat and drowsy, the collar of his uniform unfastened, stumbled through the door, breathing heavily. He looked at us without a word before just running down the stairs.

Cait almost stood up to follow him, but I grabbed her arm and shook my head gently. _Leave him be._

There was a moment of silence.

"You ever seen him sleepin'?" Cait asked. I didn't answer, it was obvious. "Me neither." She raised an eyebrow. "What's his problem?"

"Danse is... It's not really... He's got PTSD, it was also known as war anxiety way back when, it's..." I drifted off, thinking about how much Nate had changed after Anchorage. "It happens to soldiers."

"Oh." Cait looked down. I don't think she really understood what it was about. "But it's not, like, terminal, innit?"

I laughed and put an arm around her. "Gosh, Cait, no. It's nothing like that."

But it was enough to effectively prevent him from getting a good night's rest.

I didn't know if it was nightmares or if he just couldn't fall asleep - and I didn't really want to know, but... It kind of hurt that one of my closest friends would be going through something like this and the only thing I could do to help was stay out of his way. I wished I could do more.

I hung my head. "Go to sleep, Cait. I'll take the first guard shift," I said quietly. "You should get your rest."

She opened her mouth, but closed it after a moment's consideration. She just nodded her head and stood up.

"Thanks," she said.

I didn't look up. "It's nothing."

I sighed. As soon as she was gone, I zipped up my bomber jacket. Damn it, cold. I didn't try to show it in front of the others but I had been pretty cold lately.

I rubbed my hands to produce at least a bit of heat.

"It's only gonna get worse from now on," I muttered. It was going to get colder. Much, much colder.

And I had to be ready.

The next two months were very hard for, it's safe to say, everyone. Winter rolled around halfway through December, and I got my first sneak peek of how different seasons were in the Wasteland.

The weather went pretty much wild, there was no telling what the next day would bring. Radiation storms were much rarer now, but no one could find a way to revel in that, because the air had grown so cold it was hard to concentrate on anything else. Winters in the Commonwealth were much harsher than winters in Massachusetts - the air temperature often dropped below like five degrees, making it very hard to go outside, even with the proper clothing. One point - the Brotherhood provided its soldiers with parka uniforms. Second point - only _one_ of my friends could benefit from that.

The freezing cold was taking its toll on us all. We couldn't use power armor- the hydraulic pumps were getting frozen, unable to move properly. It was impossible to grow any food in the frozen ground. But I think the lowest point was when the air grew so cold that we had to actually land the Prydwen for two days. I vividly remember that time - Danse and I were pulled back to the airport, just like all other soldiers, in order to guard it there. It was amazing to see Elder Maxson standing on firm ground for once, among the rest of us. But he acted aggressively enough for me to guess he wasn't very comfortable with that assessment.

And it wasn't just Maxson, actually. The winter seemed to take its toll on everyone.

Piper was nothing like her usual self now - she was quiet and barely said anything at all. But I could see her looking out the window and scribbling something in her notebook from time to time, so something was going on at least. Still, she refused to talk to anyone.

Danse grew gradually more and more irritable, to the extent that he responded almost aggressively to most people trying to socialize with him. I was one of the select few he didn't attack outwardly so I knew he was mostly frustrated with our lack of progress. In my eyes, that was no excuse for how he was acting. But I wasn't any better than either of them, to be honest.

I grew almost indifferent to the war that was going on. And what kind of war was it? Nothing was happening at all! I actually got so frustrated that I spent a whole week in Goodneighbor doing nothing but running errands for Mayor Hancock. The only good that made me was that I got so used to the company of ghouls that I didn't even flinch when I saw one anymore.

I wasn't proud of myself for bailing on my friends like that, sure, but I had to get away before I would start murdering. The winter was driving me insane. The only consolation was the fact that I wasn't the only one - we were all slightly beat up in one way or another.

Cait was taking drugs again, even if I never could catch her while she was high. She was just as irritable as Danse, except she didn't have a reason, so I worked it out quite easily.

Only MacCready didn't seem as downbeat about this change of climate a the rest of us. He actually tried cheering the others up from time to time, but that usually didn't work out very well. Still, I was kind of impressed with his attempts. It was amazing that at least one of us could stay positive. I was just a bit bitter that it wasn't me. Except the only reason why he could be that joyful was that he didn't realize how serious things were. It wasn't _his_ son who was being kept in the Institute. _His_ son was alive and safe in Washington!

"Gosh, I'm seriously bitter." I let myself smile at that thought as I warmed my hands on the cup of tea McCready had given me. We had run out of coffee three days ago and the only good point in being trapped in an old military bunker was that Cait had found a sizeable supply cache with loads of food in it. Danse and MacCready had taken apart an electric kettle and by some miracle managed to put it back together - those two never ceased to amaze me when it came to tinkering - so now we had a pretty much infinite supply of hot drinks.

I put the hot cup on the windowsill. I could see literally nothing outside - this blizzard had been going on for the last five days. There was even almost no snow, just the terrifyingly cold air and strong wind. It hurt - I knew because I had been outside for five minutes.

"Nora! What did I say?!" Danse stopped what he had been doing only to throw a blanket over my shoulders.

I rolled my eyes with a heavy sigh. They were all acting as if I were made of china or something equally delicate. Oh sure, I was a bit less resilient to low temperature, but did that justify giving me all the warmest clothes and supplies? If anything, they were making me feel guilty.

"You said I was gonna catch a cold," I muttered. "Though really, I don't see how that would be bad. It's not fatal, you know."

He looked almost like he wanted to hit me, but he just gritted his teeth and marched off. Everyone was so ticked off lately I couldn't say anything. Only MacCready was friendly.

"Okay, it's not snowin' anymore," Cait announced. She sat in the armchair in front of mine. "How you holdin' up, Nora?"

"I want to kill, I really do, I think I'm gonna kill you all, and I'm starting with Danse, I swear."

"Okay, I'm outta here." She quickly walked away.

"Do you think my hair's too long?" Piper asked as she took the very same seat. "MacCready said it's not, but it might be a problem later on. I mean, maybe if I braided it-"

"Honey, your hair is okay," I said. "And please, _please_ , don't braid it. Just be happy your hair grows at all." I looked at my reflection in the screen of my Pip-Boy. Bleh. It'd _never_ grow back, and now it was sorta stuck at this awkward length halfway through my neck. "Huh. Do you think _I_ should cut my hair?"

Piper tilted her head. "If that's what you want... I don't know if that's..."

"Great! Will you do it?"

She sighed. "...Okay. But I hope you know what you're doing."

Well, my hair'd never been _that_ short, that's for sure. I kept looking at myself in the mirror, but I still wasn't sure if the change had been for good or bad.

"I don't know," I said. "I look weird."

"You look great, Blue," Piper assured me.

"You always look great," Danse added.

"What was that?" I glanced at the soldier, surprised he had joined the conversation.

A red blush overtook his cheeks and ears. "Nothing."

I tilted my head but didn't ask. Hell, he had been acting weird lately anyway. I didn't care much at this point.

"Well, the good news is," Cait said, "regardless of whether Nora looks like a boy, it's stopped snowin'."

"It hasn't been snowing for at least a week, and I do not!"

She smirked. "Whatever."

Danse looked out the window. "You have a point. It hasn't been this clear for months."

I hung my shoulders and winced. "Please don't say we should go."

"We should go."

"See, that's why you're the first on my list." I sighed. "Fine. Good deal. If that's what you all think is best... Is it?"

MacCready looked down at his feet. Piper just nodded, Danse was still looking at me with that same expression of encouragement. Hell, I wasn't going alone. I could do this. _We_ could do this.

I straightened my back, clenched my fists.

"I'm ready."

"Hearts of steel and heads unbowin'," Cait muttered. It sounded almost like a quote - for all I knew, it could have been one. She nodded her head at us. "You two be careful."

"Aren't we always?" I retorted. "Not my fault there's always something or someone that tries to get us dead."

"She meant yes," said Danse. "We'll try not to be too long."

We all left the bunker the following morning and set out in three different directions. Cait was supposed to go back to the Castle and check up on the Minutemen, mostly on my behalf, while Piper took MacCready with her back to Diamond City where she had some business to tend to. Danse and I would return to the Brotherhood of Steel's base at the Boston Airport.

We were going to ask for permission to leave for the Glowing Sea.

"Now, remember what I told you," he said for like the thousandth time as we were approaching the airport.

"Yeah, yeah, you'll do the talking," I said tiredly. "Whatever makes it more likely Maxson'll agree."

Danse gave me a heavy look.

"Sorry, _Elder_ Maxson." I shot him a charming smile, but I rolled my eyes as soon as he turned away. Stick up his ass, all I was saying.

The airport base looked much worse than it had before. There were fewer soldiers patrolling it now, all of them wearing the winter uniforms, and there was some heaviness in the air.

The snow squeaked under our boots as we walked to the barracks. The whole base seemed almost deserted in comparison to how it had been.

Danse stopped a Knight as he passed us.

"Has anything happened here, soldier?"

"Um... No, sir. The Elder's been sending more scouting patrols lately, sir, but that's all."

"I see... You're free to return to your duties." Danse nodded his head at the soldier, but at me, he wrinkled his forehead. "I don't like this." He put a hand on his hip. "Hopefully the Elder will be able to explain."

We boarded a vertibird that would take us up to the Prydwen, which was thankfully airborne again, and flew in complete silence. There wasn't wind today, either.

The command deck wasn't empty, at least - though at first it surprised me that it wasn't fuller. I had almost forgotten that officeral ranks counted not from Knight-Corporal but from Knight-Captain above.

The door to the bridge had been left ajar, but I still had the courtesy to knock. Elder Maxson didn't even let us report anything.

"Oh, good that you're here," he said immediately upon seeing us. "I have a special assignment all ready that requires your attention, Paladin."

Danse looked in my direction with an expression that said he wanted to protest, and for a moment I wondered if he would. For a second, I hoped he would finally stand up for himself but, like always, he didn't. I knew that, ultimately, he never would. He gritted his teeth. "Yes, sir. I'll get to it right away."

"There's a promotion in it for you, you know. Do your best, Paladin."

"Sir." Danse grabbed the sheet of paper from Maxson's hands and stormed out of the room.

I nervously stepped around. I hadn't been one-on-one with the Elder since I joined the Brotherhood, and now I was feeling strangely exposed.

"Don't worry, Knight. There's something I want you to look into as well. Actually, in a way, it's the most important assignment in your career."

I perked up at that. "More important than the Institute?"

"In certain aspects, yes." Elder Maxson leaned on the wall, not taking his eyes off me for a second. "I realize you and Danse have been away from HQ for a few months, but... Lancer-Captain Kells requested help from an unbiased soldier on this, so you might just be what he needs. Will you do it?"

"Gladly, sir, but... I have no idea what the assignment is."

Maxson smiled. "Of course." He shook his head, amused. "My bad. Meet with Kells now, I'm sure he'll tell you all you want to know... And more."

oooOOO***OOOooo

I curiously looked around. This was a part of the command deck I hadn't seen before. Vertibird pilots and Prydwen technicians in bomber jackets and flight suits were walking to and fro, making me feel a little lost in the commotion.

"Lancer-Captain, Kells, sir!" I called out as soon as I spotted the officer's recognizable ship captain's hat.

He turned around. "Oh, Initiate. I wasn't expecting you."

"It's uh..." I chuckled nervously. "Um, it's Knight, actually. I got this promotion almost four months ago..." I coughed into my fist. "Anyway! Um... Sir. Elder Maxson's told me you have an assignment for me, sir."

"Oh." Kells nodded. "I see now. Yes, that is..." He looked around. "Shall we go somewhere more private to discuss this? It's a most unfortunate matter."

"What- What's going on?" I asked. I had to admit, this secrecy was getting me a bit freaked out.

Once we were a safe distance away from other soldiers, Lancer-Captain Kells folded his arms on his chest.

"Knight-Sergeant Gavil's Brotherhood of Steel Logistics Division," he said slowly. "One of the most vital cogs in the Brotherhood of Steel mechanism, you might say. It's a team responsible for accounting, documentation, computation, and the dividing of virtually all resources that flow through the Boston Airport base to and from the Prydwen.  
"It's a small team, just a few soldiers under Sergeant Gavil's command, barely bigger than a regular reconnaissance squad. All of them are amongst our most trusted people, checked before they're dispatched for duty in the Division... However, I'm afraid that it's possible something has been overlooked."

"What do you mean, sir?" He was being serious now, and so was I.

"The Logistics Division answers directly to Proctor Quinlan here on the Prydwen. However, his team has found several differences between the accounting sent by the Logistics and the supplies it was describing. After a recount, it's been confirmed that it wasn't a mistake." Kells hung his head. "It's disgraceful to even consider, but we've reached the conclusion that someone must have stolen, hidden, destroyed or otherwise gotten rid of these supplies in the time before they were documented by Logistics and their transfer to the Prydwen. Clearly, we weren't being careful enough. But, alerting as it was, it was barely a reason to start an investigation... That was all a month ago. Recently, however, the situation has repeated itself. Very similar circumstances, too. This time, it was enough to alert Proctor Quinlan, who went immediately to the Elder with the matter... Leading to the place we're in now.  
"Now, there's no way to tell whether it's been an organized robbery, some unfortunate mistake or else, whether it's been a raid or an inside job... The matter is extremely delicate. That's why I want you to mount a secret investigation into this case. Be as inconspicuous as you can, find out what really happened and who is responsible."

"...Of course," I said quietly. "I just wasn't expecting something like this."

"I can assure you none of us were, soldier. Alas, it is what it is. For now, I'm giving you my permission to investigate, effective immediately. Speak to Knight-Sergeant Gavil, he'll fill you in on the details." He looked at the floor. "And Knight?"

"Sir?"

"Do treat this matter with extreme delicacy. If there's a traitor in the Brotherhood... I'd rather not consider that possibility."

"Yes, sir."

I bowed my head and walked away.

 _Wow. This is big._

Of course whoever the culprit was, they've decided to take advantage of the mess proceeding from how hard the winter's hit the Brotherhood. That made sense. But now that the air was getting less chilly and the ground less white, administration was getting back on its feet and things like that came up... Damn. I really wished it wasn't an inside job.

Knight-Sergeant Gavil turned out to be an angry-looking middle-aged man with an attitude that matched his expression. From the moment he found out why I was there, he treated me coldly to say the least.

"This is all a waste of time," he said. "I know my men perfectly well and I can assure you that none of them would be capable of treason. Proctor Quinlan has sent people here already who haven't found anything."

"That's why Lancer-Captain Kells has sent me now," I noticed. "Because the case hasn't been resolved."

"Whatever, Knight. Whatever. If you really want, you can go and lead this little investigation of yours, but if you want my opinion, it's pointless. Pointless." He drummed his fingers on the desk impatiently. "I already spoke with my men. They haven't seen anything. I trust they're telling the truth."

"Could you at least tell me about the missing supplies?"

"If you're asking me, Quinlan's scribed got something mixed up again. All that's missing is seven crates of food. Three the first time, four just now." Gavil snorted. "That's why it isn't even sensible. This is a heavily guarded military base, plenty of weapons and ammunition lying around, and someone is stealing a lifetime supply of macaroni and cheese?"

"Okay," I said slowly. "Where do you think I should begin my investigation?"

"You shouldn't begin it at all is what I think. But if you really have to interrupt the work of my soldiers, talk to Lucia and Clarke. They've been transferred here two months ago and they're still learning their way around. I can spare them."

"That's Scribe Lucia...?"

"Knight Lucia and Initiate Clarke."

I nodded. "Yes, sir. And thank you." _For nothing._

Knight Lucia was stationed not very far away. I found her going through some crates, notepad in hand.

"Copper wire, copper wire... Where did I put that copper wire?" She was saying when I approached.

I cleared my throat.

"Oh!" She looked up at me and immediately stood to attention. "Ma'am!"

"You're Knight Lucia, right?" I asked. She nodded. "Is it okay if I ask you some questions?"

She winced. "This is about the missing supplies, isn't it... Oh well, I had been expecting Proctor Quinlan to send someone again anyway." She eyed me carefully. "Where are you stationed? I'm guessing the Prydwen, you look serious."

"Actually, yeah." I took off my glove. "Knight Nora. Pleased to meet you."

She didn't make a move to shake my hand. I coughed into my fist as I looked away.

"Anyway... I just wanted to begin with a bit about the Logistics Division. What can you tell me?"

"There's not many of us, about ten soldiers right now. Myself, Clarke, a few other Knights who are unfit for duty, and the Scribes. The commanding officer is Knight-Sergeant Gavil, you might wanna talk to him. I really don't know anything."

"Clarke?" I asked. Friendship be friendship, I had never gone so far as to address Danse with his first name in front of another soldier. Very unprofessional on Knight Lucia's side.

"Sorry, Initiate Clarke," she said immediately. "He's a friend. We joined the Brotherhood together, so we've understandably tried to keep close to each other during that time."

"Understandably." I smiled. "The missing supplies?"

"I'm not sure, really... I know Knight-Sergeant Gavil wouldn't agree, but Proctor Quinlan's team are very thorough. I don't think it was a mistake, but I'm not sure about _what_ I think, either. As to what's missing, I think it was a few crates of food and... some vacuum tubes, I believe? Hold on, no. They just lost those."

Normally, I'd have laughed at that. Now, I just frowned. "Do things get lost around here often?"

"Oh no," Lucia protested. "It's not like that. They got filed in under the wrong category, I found them just the next day. Many crates of food, ammo, and supplies go through this base daily. Little accidents are bound to happen, but not as big as this.  
"Either way, I'm... I don't think I'm the best person to ask about those missing supplies. I don't know much about it, other than what I've heard from rumors and when Sergeant Gavil questioned us."

"There are rumors?" I asked. That was bad. If everyone knew, then the person responsible would already have prepared themselves.

"Not many, just that something's missing. Many eyes are on Logistics at the moment. Frankly, I wish it'd just end. I'm supposed to get reassigned soon and I don't want this to affect my career in the Brotherhood." She looked down. "Clarke'll be staying here, though. That's a pity."

I smiled. I had seen this look before. "You two are close, huh?"

Lucia blushed a bit. "Not _that_ close, I mean... It's just hard to change your whole environment like that. Um, I'm sorry, we weren't supposed to be talking about _me_... I had better get back to work. Um... Now, where was I?"

I looked at her, said "Copper wire," and walked away.

So far I hadn't learned anything I hadn't known already. Hopefully, the other one would be more helpful.

"Initiate Clarke?"

This guy seemed jumpy. He sprung to attention immediately after noticing my approach, but he relaxed a bit when he realized I only outranked him by one rank.

"The missing supplies?" He wasn't surprised to learn the reason for my coming there. "Oh, of course. It seems everyone is talking about that. There are rumors of raiders who break in every night to raid us of our food, but that seems just crazy to me. Look, I work the night shift. And I haven't seen anything all this time I've been stationed here. And that's, like, a few months now? I think the Scribes up on the Prydwen are just making a big deal out of this. So a few crates of food got misplaced? It's not like we're starving or anything."

Well, to look on the bright side, at least I didn't have to _encourage_ him to talk. He wasn't much help, though.

This was a completely lost cause. I needed _help_. I needed someone like Proctor Ingram or like Haylen... Except Haylen was off in Cambridge and Ingram was on the Prydwen, so no allies here.

By now, I was almost sure this was an inside job. The security at the base was too good to just let someone get in or out, especially with that much supplies. I watched the patrols. Knights in power armor or combat armor, good... No, it was impossible for someone to slip in unnoticed.

"Hey, watch where you're-" I growled when someone pushed me. I froze when I realized it was an officer. "I mean, sir- I'm-" Yeah, not just any minor officer, a Paladin. I was screwed.

With a fair amount of relief, I realized it was _my_ Paladin (pushing aside how that sounded). I was slightly surprised to notice that he had finally decided to do what MacCready had been doing all along and had trimmed his beard to just a heavy stubble. That was nice, actually. It looked better. Made his jawline stand out. Why the hell did I care? I didn't care.

"Danse-" _Not his first name, you idiot!_ I gave myself a mental punch, and another one for good measures. "Uh, sir- I mean... Paladin."

"Nora?" He stopped. "What are you doing here?"

"No offense, but I could ask you the same."

He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up a bit. "It's complicated... Some supplies have gone missing and Elder Maxson was concerned that it might be a more major problem. I'm supposed to assist in this investigation now. Do you happen to know who's conducting it?"

"I am!" I exclaimed. It was like a weight had been lifted from my heart. "Oh my God, Danse, this is just terrible, please help. Thank the Elder for me - no, I'll thank him. I just need you so much-" I blinked, my mind slowly processing what I had just said. "I just need _help_ so much." It didn't matter. "Okay, how much do you know?"

"Only as much as you'll tell me."

So I told him. I told him everything - about the missing supplies and how Knight-Sergeant Gavil was rude to me and how no one wanted to cooperate, and how it was probably an inside job, and how there was a traitor in the Brotherhood but Gavil didn't want to believe it, and how Kells and Maxson thought I was going to magically find out what had happened and how until his arrival I had had no help here, and how I didn't know what to do...

Danse listened patiently to my whining and once I was done, he grabbed my arm and dragged me along as he marched through the airport, clearly ticked off.

Actually, ever since I had used the word "treason," he hadn't really been listening.

"God _damn_ it," he growled. "This is bad."

With a fair amount of shock, I suddenly realized I had never heard him swear before.

How bad did it have to be that it was the first thing that had made him lose it so much? Unlike MacCready, Danse's lack of profanity felt completely natural, unforced. So _this_ was an unnatural situation. Ergo, it had to be _very_ bad.

"Uh... Sir?" I was even afraid to use his name when he was like this.

"A traitor in the Brotherhood?" He set his jaw, glaring at the ground as if he wanted to kill it. "I won't stand for this. I won't! Who did you say was uncooperative?"

"Sergeant Gavil, but- Please don't," I protested when he took off for Gavil's post. "Stop!"

I grabbed the collar of his jumpsuit and pulled him down to my eye level. (I vividly remembered Cait doing the very same thing before kissing him. The memory alone made me all bitter.)

"Listen, this is my chance to finally prove myself," I whispered. "The Elder is watching this mission. If it goes well, maybe he'll make me Knight-Corporal? So please don't interfere. I mean yeah, help, but don't overstep it, okay? I don't want to owe this to _you_."

Danse pulled free from my grasp on him. "That's amazing, Nora, and I am wholeheartedly with you. Believe me, I will support whatever you do for the Brotherhood, but... You won't take this investigation far if you don't receive proper help from other soldiers - myself included." He tilted his head sympathetically. "I'll make sure you receive all credit, if that's what you're worried about."

What an idiot.

"Look, I know something's up. Knight Lucia and Initiate Clarke, they're a bit suspicious." But damn it, in a situation like this, who _isn't?_ I couldn't really know if Danse was telling me the truth and he wasn't the one behind it. Until I was sure, everyone was a suspect. "They're inconsistent, and they know each other. It doesn't add up."

"Either she's protecting him or he's protecting her," Danse said. "Someone's lying here."

"And Sergeant Gavil puts too much trust in his soldiers to notice it," I added. "Damn, this is gonna be hard. Do you think we should talk to Lucia again?"

"We _are_ running out of suspects. I'll do the talking this time, maybe she just needs a little scare."

One thing I had to give to Danse - he could be seriously scary when he wanted. I knew that first-hand. But I wasn't really sure if what that young Knight needed was an officer she didn't even know threatening her.

"Maybe not?" I asked. "There's got to be another way." I looked at him. "Oh, and, just to be clear... We're working together, right?"

He laughed. "It seems so."

I blinked. He'd _laughed_. What the hell was going on with the world? Couldn't one thing stay the same? One thing, like 'Danse doesn't laugh' or 'supplies aren't stolen from the Brotherhood of Steel' or 'MacCready does like you, Nora, you're just being paranoid' or something else.

"What do we do now?" I asked. "We need more intel and I doubt anyone here'll tell us anything."

Danse rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"Knight Lucia sleeps in the same barracks as you, doesn't she?"

oooOOO***OOOooo

Going through someone else's stuff was completely mundane in the Wasteland, so you quickly got used to it. It was _not_ that easy when you knew that person, and you knew they didn't know what you were doing.

The fact that it was Danse, of all people, who had come up with the idea was even more painful. This was wrong. What I was doing was wrong.

"You might as well help," I said with exasperation. Danse fidgeted.

"This is the women's quarters..."

I glared at him. "You're already here," I pointed out. "Look, you'll take the footlocker and I'll try her personal storage box."

Both locked. I took out my lockpicking set and had a blast seeing the terrified expression Danse made upon seeing I had something like that. I offered him a few of my precious bobby pins, too.

"I'll have to keep in mind that you do this," he said, looking at me meddling with the lock.

"This is nice, solving crimes. I'm detective material," I said. I liked to talk while I was working with my hands, it helped me focus. "You know, just two weeks ago, Nick and I took care of this missing person case- Turned out murder, actually- Well, long story short, I wouldn't recommend the Diamond City surgery center to anyone."

Danse broke a bobby pin. "...Nick?" he asked in a low voice. I couldn't interpret the emotion.

"Yeah, he's a friend," I answered absently. I almost had this.

"Oh." He looked away. "And is Nick, by any chance, single?"

"Why do you even..." I completely forgot what I was going to say when the lock clicked open. "Got it!" I cried.

There was a slip of paper right on top of her things, a hastily written note. I took a look at it.

 _Clarke, I know you've been going through my stuff. You're breaking the line. If this keeps on, I'll have to report you to Cpt. Kells._

So Clarke had been going through Lucia's things? I was sure that's what Danse had been looking for... Damn. I hadn't wanted him to be right.

I looked around, but there was no one around. Of course, at this time of day, most soldiers would be on duty. (Technically speaking, so was I.) Technically speaking, I had Elder Maxson behind me on this, so I could pretty much do what I wanted. That didn't make me feel any better about what I was doing.

"Got anything?"

I showed Danse the note without a word. I turned my attention back to the strongbox. It was mostly regular stuff, some ammo, a spare uniform, a can of food... A holotape. Without much hope, I played it on my Pip-Boy. Instead of the audio file I'd been expecting, I found it was something of a journal. I picked one of the most recent entries.

 _Today was my last day as an Initiate. Tomorrow morning, I report to the Elder for my commissioning. I'm finally going to be a Knight.  
_

 _The Brotherhood is everything I hoped for. Family. Honor. Security. I've met people with vision and courage, like Elder Maxson. I've proven myself in battle. I can't imagine going back to civilian life now.  
_

 _My only regret is that Clarke won't be going through the ceremony with me. We do everything together. But he's been avoiding me lately. I wanted to talk tonight, like we used to, but he just went to bed. Said he wasn't feeling well._

I clicked on the next one.

 _Today, I stood before the Elder. He spoke of my life before the Brotherhood, my time as an Initiate, and my future as a Knight. It only took a few minutes, but it felt like the most important conversation of my life.  
_

 _A few of my friends were waiting outside to congratulate me - even Proctor Ingram came. But not Clarke._

Now, I was getting worried. I skipped a few entries.

 _I'm a Knight now, but I'm still assigned to Logistics at the airport base. I don't want to argue with the senior staff, because they're probably right. Working supply may not be as exciting as patrol duty, but it needs to be done. Clarke seems to resent it, when he talks to me at all.  
_

 _I'm worried about him. I always looked up to Clarke, but he seems like a different person lately. Like he's just given up. At first, I thought he was just jealous. But there's something else going on, something he isn't telling me. If I can get him to open up, maybe we can still work things out._

A few days later. The most recent entry.

 _This is getting out of hand. Clarke has been late to his shifts three times this week. Each time, I've found him and made sure he didn't "forget" again, but I can't keep covering for him like this. I think Sergeant Gavil is starting to suspect something is wrong.  
_

 _When I got back last night, my footlocker was a mess. I think Clarke has been going through my things. What's the matter with him? Why won't he talk to me?_

I covered the Pip-Boy's screen with my hand. Shit. Shit. Shit.

"What is it?"

I nibbled on my lip before I could answer. "I think we have our primary suspect..."

I showed Danse the whole thing. Unlike me, he went straight for the last one.

Once he was done, he slowly looked up from the Pip-Boy. "We should talk to Knight Lucia."

Already at the airport, we made our way straight to the Logistics base. Knight-Sergeant Gavil wasn't very pleased to see either of us, least of all Danse.

"Perfect, Knight," he glared at me. "Get _more_ people involved in this. That is exactly what I need. What were you thinking?"

I took a step back, but Danse just crossed his arms.

"Watch your tone, Sergeant," he said calmly. There was just the faintest threatening note in his voice, but it was enough.

Gavil became a bit pale. "Sir."

Danse nudged my side and I felt a bit more confident. _That's why you make friends with officers. It makes stuff easier._

"Knight Lucia's been covering for Clarke," I said. "Something is going on in the Logistics Division, sir, and it's going on right under your nose."

"And where's this certainty coming from?"

"I _am_ certain. We've read Lucia's journal, Initiate Clarke hasn't been reporting for duty almost at all lately!"

Knight-Sergeant Gavil seemed as unimpressed as he could. "Reading diaries now, are we?"

Danse took a step towards him, now clearly ticked off. "I hope I won't have to repeat myself. This soldier is here on official business from Lancer-Captain Kells, which means that at the moment, she outranks you and everyone in this building save for me. Now, I may not be in charge of this division, but I am ready to report all of this to the Elder if I see you making this investigation any more complicated than it has to be." He exhaled slowly, and I was under the impression it was only so he could control himself. "Am I being clear, Sergeant?"

Gavil seemed terrified and angry at the same time, but he just looked at the ground. "Sir, yes, sir. Of course you are. I apologize for my behavior."

"Now, we should probably get going," I said, tugging on Danse's jacket a bit. "Someone's got to put a stop to this madness."

"You're right, Knight." He sent Knight-Sergeant Gavil a crooked smirk. "Let's."

"I do _not_ like this new Danse," I muttered. "Can't you go back to being all flustered and anxious?'"

"What? I'm- But... That's not-"

I smiled. "There we go."

We walked off to find Lucia, a bit of an uncomfortable silence between us.

"Save for me?" I asked skeptically.

"Excuse me?"

"That's what you said. That I outrank everyone in this building save for you. It's stupid. You don't have to say that."

"What..." He was confused. "What do you mean?"

"It's called generalisation," I laughed. "It just makes it easier to communicate with people, you know? You don't have to be 100% exact all the time."

"...I don't understand. Why?"

Oh dear God, he was being serious.

"Danse, honey, please don't do this to me. Please don't." I desperately looked around to find anything that would free me from this train wreck of a conversation. "Oh look, that's Lucia! Knight Lucia!"

She became very pale when she saw who I was with.

"Oh, gods... Paladin Danse? I..." She looked at me. "How high up does this go?!"

"Look, the Elder knows, so don't mind _him!_ " I gave Danse a dark glare. "See? That's why you shouldn't have come. You scare people."

He pushed me aside. "Knight Lucia, we're aware of the whole situation as it is. Don't make this any harder than it has to be and just tell us about Initiate Clarke."

She nodded. "Yes, sir. I... Of course, sir. It's... You know? I...  
"It doesn't matter. Clarke and I joined the Brotherhood not so long ago, maybe five or six months. We were friends, but ever since the battle, he's been acting different. I... don't even feel like I know him anymore."

"The battle?" I asked.

Lucia nodded. "The battle for the airport. It was our first real combat mission. It really was something to see! The Prydwen coming in under full vertibird escort, laser rifle shots and that memorable smell of ozone all hanging in the air... Those ferals never knew what hit them."

"Okay, I'm gonna stop you before you get too carried away," I said. Also because Danse looked like he was seriously regretting not being in that battle. "How does this join with Clarke?"

"It's just that... He said he was sick after that battle. That's when it all started. Sneaking out, skipping muster..."

"In that case the only thing left to do is interrogate Clarke now," Danse decided. He looked at Lucia's expression. "...He's gone, isn't he."

"Haven't seen him for half an hour, sir." Lucia nervously played with a strand of her hair. "Actually, I... This is embarrassing, but..."

"For the love of God, woman, speak!" I exclaimed, unable to keep it in anymore. She looked at me, not less scared than she'd been of Danse.

"I... I actually was... I wanted to follow him and see where he sneaks off to, but... But I realized that was wrong and I didn't! I swear!" She had to see our skeptical looks, because she just sighed. "...Alright, I did. He went to the old airport terminal ruins. I didn't go any further only because it was locked."

I nodded. _"That_ won't be a problem. Come on, Danse, we're going." I looked over my shoulder to Lucia. "If we're not back in a few hours, report this situation to Captain Kells."

Danse shook his head. "No, report it either way. Right away, actually." He unzipped his jacket and I only then realized he had shoulder holsters beneath, with a laser pistol in each. He threw one in my direction and took out the other. "Come on, Nora."

"Yes, sir."

A few hundred meters away and two bobby pins later, we were free to head into the ruins.

"Now, remember," Danse said, keeping his voice low, as we slowly delved deeper into the abandoned terminal, "Initiate Clarke is, as far as we know, a traitor. There's no telling whom he's meeting with here."

"What if it's the Institute?" I asked.

"Let's just hope you're wrong."

Well, whoever Clarke was meeting with, they were doing it on some lower level of the airport. When we walked into the hall, one of the elevators was already on its way downstairs.

"The other one?" Danse asked without much hope. I just shook my head.

"Busted."

"This one needs some kind of ID card to work," he said. "You don't happen to have it?"

"Oh yeah. I have it right here - along with my night vision goggles and laser spanner!" I kind of realized my sarcasm was getting out of control. I rubbed my forehead. "I don't know. I don't know why I do that."

I drew my laser pistol the instant Danse did the same. That alarmed me more than just a bit.

"What- What is it?" I asked nervously. "Did you hear something?"

"Shh."

He wrinkled his forehead, listening intently. Meanwhile, I looked around. There was a stairway leading downstairs, too, so maybe we could just bypass that elevator. I experimentally walked a few steps down. It seemed safe, even if unattended.

"Nora," Paladin Danse whispered. "What's the first rule of small-group tactics?!"

"Get a bigger group?"

"Stick together. Always stick together."

I stirred, startled, and jumped back so that I was closer to him. Something'd moved!

"Something's alive here," I hissed. I gripped my laser pistol so hard that my knuckles were becoming white.

Just then, Danse took a step forward, stepped on a tin can, which was loud what with all the echo, a feral ghoul lunged at him, another one ran up in my direction, Danse kicked the first one back into the second, they both went tumbling down and making even more noise, and even more ghouls started running at us.

"Ferals-? Damn it, they're under the base! Open fire!"

"What?" I took a step back, surprised at how quickly it was going.

"Just shoot!"

I didn't have to be told twice. I wasn't maybe the best marksman, but with how many targets I had in front of me, even I was bound to kill a few. Danse easily took care of the rest, but even though it hadn't been very dangerous, both of us ended up scared shitless. Well... I did, at least.

"There's likely to be more of them, be sure to proceed with extreme caution." He swapped the pistol for his laser rifle. "I've got your back."

I nodded. That made me feel almost completely secure.

I moved forward as stealthily as I could, which, to be honest, didn't add up to much, and all the time I was afraid something would jump out at me from the shadows. The lights were either flickering or out, so I couldn't see very well, either. I wasn't scared, not with backup like I had, but I _was_ nervous.

"Oh, no..." I whispered. What I had thought to be a bundle of fabrics or something similar turned out to be a human corpse. Fresh enough not to be rotting yet. "Danse?" I whispered, ushering my companion to come closer with his flashlight.

"A Brotherhood of Steel soldier," he said solemnly. He reached out towards the man's neck and pulled off the chain with his holotags. "Knight Rylan," he read aloud. "He must have been with Logistics."

"Could I...?" I nodded towards the dogtags. Danse gave them to me without a word.

We went on in that eerie silence for a while longer, until we eventually reached a collapsed hallway. There was a big hole in the ceiling, allowing entrance to the upper floor, and I was pretty sure I would be able to climb up on the debris. There was also a feral ghoul standing several meters away from us.

Danse gave me his laser rifle and took out a combat knife instead. Before I could fully begin to understand, he ran towards the ghoul, tripped it with a well-delivered kick to the knee, and stabbed in the back of its neck once it was prone.

I reluctantly gave him back his gun. "That was Cait's technique," I noticed. "I'd never seen you do that before."

He massaged the back of his neck. "You know what they say. Old dog..." He didn't finish. Instead, he offered me the knife. "It's useful, and a good technique," he said. I nodded, accepting the gift.

I then started to climb up the rubble, seeing how it was the only way to go.

"Watch out. There's quite a bit of a debris here." Danse held up my arm when I almost lost my balance.

"Cute of you to care," I teased. He took his hand away.

I climbed up onto the floor and pulled him up. We took a quick look around, but true to my expectations, there was a bunch of feral ghouls here, too.

Now, these things were easy to take out one by one, but they had a tendency to travel in herds. And in close quarters, they could prove rather dangerous. I wasn't so convinced just the two of us would be able to handle whatever was going on here. Why were all those ghouls here in the airport ruins? Hadn't anyone from the Brotherhood noticed? Unless... they'd ended up like Knight Rylan.

"Hold up," Danse ordered in a whisper. I immediately stopped moving. "Voices."

I listened, but I couldn't hear anything. I trusted him, however, so I followed his lead in taking out the ferals, one by one, as silently as it was possible.

We took the rest of that hallway in complete silence. It eventually led us to a control room with a window overlooking a large test chamber. Like in ArcJet, or one of those Vaults.

There was a young man, barely more than a teenager, looking through something in one of the crates by the window. I gritted my teeth. The missing supplies!

"Initiate Clarke."

He froze at the sound of my voice.

"Don't even bother taking that blade," Danse said calmly, bringing my attention to the knife that lay on the table within Clarke's reach. "You're outnumbered, outranked and severely outmatched."

Clarke drooped his shoulders. "I... I know. Shit. I knew someone was gonna find out sooner or later, but..."

I stepped forward. "Clarke, it's fine. We're only here to talk. No one has to hurt anyone, just... stay calm and everything'll be okay."

"If you're fraternizing with the enemy, though," Danse added, "I want you to be aware that all those things my associate just said... They're not true."

I looked at him, shocked. "You're not serious."

Danse decided to ignore me. "Now, Initiate, I think it's about time you started talking."

"Yes, I mean, yessir. I just... Shit, shit. Shouldn't have taken so much. I knew there were people looking for these supplies, but I figured..."

I looked out the window. "Have you been feeding those ghouls?" I asked.

"Okay," he held up his hands, "call me crazy, but it's been working! Honest.  
"Look, uh... After that battle for the airport... Those feral ghouls just kept coming, and I killed and killed... I don't even know how many. I know they're not people anymore, but... They used to be. And we just slaughtered them, like animals. After that, I... I needed some time to think, alone. I wandered about the airport ruins for some time... That's when I found this place. And the ghouls."

He looked at us, but I wasn't really satisfied with that as an explanation. In fact, I was growing angry at the man's stupidity. Clarke turned his gaze to the supply crates and the food inside.

"I thought that maybe if I gave them something else to eat, they wouldn't attack the base. Attack the Brotherhood. Because they'd have no chance, then. And who knows how many people would die. I... Ghouls aren't evil. I know they're not. Back in the Capital Wasteland, before I joined up, I had this friend who was a ghoul. He never did anything wrong to anyone, but the Brotherhood? The Brotherhood says all ghouls are abominations. Would you have killed him just because of who he was?!"

"If he wasn't feral-" I began.

"Feral, not feral, what does it matter?!" Clarke exclaimed hysterically. "They were all human once!"

"Ferals, they're not human anymore!" I screamed. I had had enough of this. "You have to draw a line somewhere!" I had been gesticulating with my arms and at that moment, I realized I was pointing at Danse. My eyes widened as I realized something else. Of course, Clarke hadn't drawn the line - but neither would Danse.

I was standing between the man who would have killed all the ghouls and the man who would have saved them all.

And they both were wrong. They were both wrong! Why couldn't they see there was an in-between measure?

"You don't kill a person for no reason," I growled. The low tone of my voice was a bit scary, even to myself. "But feral ghouls are dangerous, and they mustn't be kept alive." I pointed to the ghouls. "You _can't_ protect them, Initiate!"

I bit my lip when I realized I had used his rank instead of his name. Was this who I was becoming?

"So what am I supposed to do?" He asked quietly. "If I turn them in, they'll be killed. If I ignore them, they might attack the airport. What do I do?"

Danse opened his mouth to answer, but he second-guessed himself and said nothing. The message was clear: _the show is yours. You decide, Nora._ When had we even learned to understand each other so well without words?

"You should trust the Brotherhood," I said calmly. "I'll get this done." After a moment's consideration, I added "You don't have to watch."

"The Brotherhood... It _is_ my family... My friends... My whole life." Clarke bit his lip, shut his eyes. "I have faith in the Brotherhood of Steel," he said finally. "You just- You're right. But... Will you make sure they don't suffer too much?"

I gritted my teeth, reloading my laser rifle. "I can't promise that."

After second thoughts, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the dogtags we had found earlier. "By the way, Initiate, I found these in the ruins. Just in case you think your feral friends here care for the lives of others."

Clarke carefully took the holotags into his hands. "They're Rylan's..." he whispered. "Oh, God. They killed him." He looked at Danse, but the officer's face didn't let on any emotions. "And they're gonna kill more... Do what you have to. They... They can't stay here."

"What are you going to do now?" Danse inquired calmly. Clarke folded his arms across his chest.

"I will... I will... I will leave. I'll turn myself in to Captain Kells. I can't stay here and watch... I'm going to go now."

We both waited in silence until he left. After that, I slumped down onto the chair. This had been more emotionally taxing than I'd expected. And I still had those ferals to deal with.

"You did the right thing," Danse said.

"I did what _you_ thought was the right thing," I corrected him. "But I didn't have much of a choice, did I? It's like Clarke said - either we attack them or they'll attack us."

I stood up, reloaded my laser rifle, reached out for the handle of the door to the barrack, and looked back.

"You'll help, right?" I asked quietly. "You'll go with me?"

"Even to hell, and back again." He put his hand on my shoulder. "I'm with you till the end of the line."

I nodded.

"Then let's go kick some serious ghoul butt." I cringed. "Here's a sentence I hadn't thought I'd say."

I drew my laser pistol, Danse took out his rifle, and we slowly walked down the stairs. One of the ghouls turned its head in our direction and started walking, then running, towards us.

The first shot from Danse's laser rifle pierced its knee, making it fall. I shot it dead.

Another one started moving towards us, and I started shooting. That drew even more ferals to the fighting, and soon enough, we found ourselves in the middle of something that could prove dangerous.

I kicked away a ghoul that lunged at my abdomen. There were too many!

"There are too many!" I screamed. I had long since lost sight of my friend, but I had the hope that he was ding better than me. Because I was doing terribly.

Then, I saw a ghoul that stood out from the swarm all around us. It wasn't attacking, it was just... looking at me. Click. It was feral, I was sure of it, there was nothing humane in it. Click, click, click. Something was off, but I didn't have much time o think about it as I battled the other ferals that continued to try to eat me. Cickity-click, click, click. This was my Geiger counter! Shit!

That ghoul apparently got bored with just idly watching me die, because just when I thought I was getting the upper hand, having managed to kill most of its brethen with minimal injuries, it decided to go ahead and attack me.

I jumped back, fired my pistol at the ghoul - repeatedly - and even managed to hit it a couple of times. I was feeling weak, very weak. This wasn't good! The ghoul lunged at me and made for my gun-wielding arm. I did the only thing I could do - I shielded my face.

When its teeth tore through the fabric of my Brotherhood of Steel uniform and a few layers of flesh beneath it, I screamed, more in shock than pain. Pain? Hell, there was so much adrenaline I didn't feel pain! What I did feel was weakness, very overpowering fatigue.

Damn it! I pulled the trigger, hoping it'd be enough to at least get the ghoul to stop biting me. It did, but I wasn't much relieved. Clicking. It couldn't be good.

Already, I could feel the radiation seeping through my body and destroying what few healthy cells that still remained, but I dug my nails into my palms, trying to focus on the pain and keep myself conscious. The laser pistol in my hands was much heavier than it had ever been.

The ghoul opened its mouth and made a loud, screeching sound that made me want to cover my ears. But I didn't do it this time - I had learned the lesson Paladin Danse and Paladin Cannote had tried so hard to teach me.

You don't drop your weapon. Ever.

I pulled out the combat knife from its sheath and charged headfirst at the feral ghoul.

Danse stopped. "Nora, wait! That's not-!"

I couldn't stop to listen to whatever warning he had been going to give me. I had other things on my mind, like the glowing green ghoul in front of me.

Wait, glowing? Why was it like tha...? The rapid clicking from my Pip-Boy was more than I needed to know. The amount of radiation I was taking... Holy shit!

I stabbed the ghoul right into where I thought its heart should be. It in turn tried to bite into my neck, and with how close we were, I could only stop that by throwing him over my shoulder. I screamed in both pain and effort as I managed to throw the ghoul away. I had never tried this kind of move on a person before!

I kicked him in the face. Radiation! A lot of radiation! And I was bleeding... Shit. Shit! I kicked the ghoul again. Why was that thing still alive?!

"Danse?!" I rasped out, but my friend was busy with two regular ferals. Damn it!

I frantically grabbed my knife and managed to pull it out of the ghoul's body. I screamed again, stabbing him over and over again until I could feel almost nothing at all. There were some distressing white and red dots before my eyes. The Geiger counter of my Pip-Boy was over three-quarters of the scale!

It wasn't until a few seconds that I realized the ghoul was already dead and I was stabbing a corpse. The radiation hadn't gone away! Fuck!

I rolled away, coughing. By some extreme effort, I managed to get up to my knees, then actually stand up and attempt to get as far away from that thing as I could.

"I don't..." I blinked, trying to get rid of the blackness that was on the edges of my vision. I couldn't. Instead of following that line of thought, I broke into a coughing fit.

Immediately, Danse was by my side, terrified at my state, concerned beyond measure.

"You did good, Knight," he whispered, holding me in his arms when my legs gave out under my weight. I could barely focus on what was going on, but I registered that he ripped off the sleeve of my uniform and injected something into my forearm - a RadAway drip? A Stimpak? "You did good." Danse shook me gently. "Nora? You did good. I... I mean it, I do. You did good."

I coughed. Already, I could feel the drugs kicking in, but it was his words that I tried to focus on. I had done well, he was right.

"I deserve a promotion," I mumbled, and drifted off into the darkness.

oooOOO***OOOooo

Later that day, Elder Maxson promoted me to Knight-Sergeant.

 **Level up.  
** **New rank:** **Brotherhood of Steel Knight-Sergeant - your energy weapons now do an additional 2 points of damage, and while wearing Brotherhood of Steel combat armor or power armor, you gain a +10% armor rating bonus.  
** **New perk: Intense Training - your brutal experiences in the Commonwealth have hardened you. Gain 1 additional point of Endurance.**


	22. The Devil's Due

**Chapter Twenty  
** **The Devil's Due**

* * *

"I really don't think taking Dogmeat is such a good idea," Danse commented as I put on his power armor helmet, again completely covering his face. _So much for heartfelt conversations in the near future._ "I don't want you to despair later. The area is massively irradiated, no living being can survive in there for too long."

"You're overthinking it," I protested and shoved the helmet of my armor into his hands. Danse took it and silently placed on my head. I looked down at Dogmeat, who was watching our preparations with interest. "He'll be fine. This dog has been through more than you, soldier boy." I grabbed Danse's laser rifle and quickly reloaded. "Besides," I said while handing him the weapon, "I threw several portions of Rad-X into his food. Should be radiation-proof for days."

I couldn't see Danse's expression, and I was sure that I had every right to regret it. It had to be interesting.

"Whatever you want," he said finally, after a long silence. "Just don't say that I didn't warn you."

It had been three days since the Logistics incident, and those three days had been spent in preparation for my upcoming task: attempting to find Brian Virgil, a runaway Institute scientist, in the area known as the Glowing Sea.

To be honest, I hadn't taken much part in the preparations per se, as I had spent those days mostly at the medbay. Knight-Captain Cade had made me stay there day and night until the most severe symptoms of radiation sickness cleared. Dogmeat spent almost all that time by my side, which was actually uplifting.

As soon as I was able to move around freely without throwing up too much, I asked Proctor Ingram for a hasted power armor training, something I hadn't bothered with before. I figured I'd need that edge if I were to take my suit of power armor anyway.

"I'm still kinda surprised they didn't let you take a bigger squad," I noticed. "It's gotta be dangerous out there."

Danse barely looked in my direction as we walked to our debriefing. (This Brotherhood power armor was surprisingly more comfortable than the one I'd found in Concord.)

"These are two sides of the same coin," he said. "Taking a bigger squad equals a bigger chance of survival, but also equals bigger risk. The mission is more likely to fail with fewer soldiers involved, but if it does fail, the loss will be bigger with more soldiers involved."

"It's not gonna fail, though," I said, "right? Because I don't really wanna die just yet."

He didn't answer, but Dogmeat barked optimistically.

Elder Maxson didn't come to our debriefing. Not that I had been expecting him to, but... I'd thought it was important. Lancer-Captain Kells did see us off, though, so that was about the second best thing. The wind was blowing strongly at the moment so it required some effort to stand on the flight deck - I was wearing power armor, but I could understand why Kells left so soon.

We only had a couple of Knights check the hydraulics in both our armors, and we were free to leave. One of the soldiers awkwardly cleared his throat. He was holding up a clipboard with some papers on it.

"Oh, Paladin? You have to sign your consent. Should anything happen, all your, ah- earthly possessions- will be returned to your next of kin."

Danse gave him a heavy look. "I don't have anyone, and neither does she." Still, he took the pen and quickly signed the paper. "Is that all?" he asked tiredly, and to the Knight's nod responded with a "Good enough."

"You're left-handed?" I asked, surprised. How come had I missed such an obvious fact about him?

He glanced in my direction. "Ambidextrous."

And _that_ did _not_ surprise me.

We got onto the nearest vertibird and asked to be taken as far as any sane pilot would take us. Apparently, the Brotherhood had set up some kind of listening post near the edge of the Glowing Sea and we would be able to resupply and get some rest there.

"So... Paladin?" I asked. "Wasn't it supposed to be Star Paladin now?"

"Oh." Danse looked away. "I had to turn it down." He smiled. "But hey, _you_ got a promotion! Two whole ranks, Knight-Sergeant."

"I guess."

"It's really- it's fine. There are more important things to worry about than my career."

"Like the Glowing Sea," I said.

"...Yes. I was getting to that. It's not going to be easy, and we're putting ourselves at a lot of risk. Not just you and me but the Brotherhood of Steel over all."

"Do you think we'll be able to find this Virgil guy?" I asked. "It _has_ been three months." It was 9th February, according to the calendar of my Pip-Boy.

 _Time sure does fly, doesn't it...?_ Then again, I wouldn't have thought it'd been just four months since I left Vault 111. It felt like a lifetime ago.

The listening post turned out to be little more than a pre-War bunker with just a Knight and two Scribes stationed there. For the first time since I joined the Brotherhood, I outranked everyone at the outpost.

Positioned right on the edge of the Glowing Sea, this Listening Post Echo was the farthest south I'd ever travelled in the Commonwealth. Everything southwest of here was "irradiated as fuck", as one of the Scribes had nicely put it. And that was exactly where we were going.

One room, with one bed, was as much as they had to spare. It was God knows how cold inside those thick concrete walls, but I didn't have much hope for a blanket or something similar. At least Danse had the courtesy to let me take the bed while he slept on the floor. It was still uncomfortable.

"Nora?" He asked after a long silence in which I'd thought he'd drifted off. But, like Cait'd said, Danse almost never slept.

"Awake and alert, sir," I reported. I was staring at the ceiling, currently counting the cracks in the concrete.

"That's not exactly what I wanted you to say."

I sat up on the bed. Damn protocol, couldn't I be straightforward?

"Is something wrong, sir?" I asked as evenly as I could.

"This is the last time I'm ever going to ask you for permission to speak freely..." he said slowly. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you."

"You're not dying, are you?" I asked in a half-joke. He was dead serious. "Okay, what do you mean by last time? You're leaving? I'm leaving?"

"No!" he protested quickly. "I'm sorry- It's nothing like that, I... I'm really not good at these things. I didn't mean to alarm you." He stared at the ground. "I only thought it's not appropriate for us to act that formally around one another anymore."

I smiled. He _did_ suck at human communication, but there was something endearing about that at the same time. "Well, then that's... That's a good thing."

"I wanted to tell you... It's not particularly easy for me to phrase it, but... I wanted to come clean about certain aspects... About my past." Danse let out a breath, looking up at the sky. "You've told us nearly everything about yourself and I admire you for it... I'm sorry, I don't really-"

"Danse, honey, what are you doing?" I asked, cocking my head to the side. Could he _not_ beat around the bush just one time?

"Lately, I've been feeling... I'm not certain how to describe it. There was once..." He ran a hand through his hair. "It's just that... I know all about you. Where you came from, what you've gone through, what you've lost... All the while, I've done my damnedest to keep all of you from learning anything about _me_."

"Oh, it's not like _that_ ," I protested, "I know all about you, you're..." Blank. My mind was blank. I could perfectly describe Cait's childhood or the settlement Piper had grown up in. I knew about MacCready's deceased wife and his little son, Duncan, I knew about Nick's origins as a discarded Institute project... In comparison to that, Danse was a mystery. "Wow," I whispered. I really didn't know.

"I'm sorry," he said. "It's but an instinct. I simply don't like thinking about what was." He hung his head. "I can't recall my early childhood. Whether it was because I chose to push that out of my memory or for some other reason, I don't know. I have no memories of my parents, or any real family to speak of... Not that they did a good job of raising their child, abandoned me as barely more than just a toddler."

"Hey, um..." I touched his forearm, but Danse shook me off.

"I don't want your pity," he said. "Please. I just... What matters is, when I was around ten years old, I found Little Lamplight. That part you know of.  
"While I was living there, I befriended a guy named Cutler." He smiled fondly at that memory. "We got along well, watched each other's backs and kept each other out of trouble... When Cutler turned sixteen, after trying to reason with Mayor MacCready, I left Little Lamplight with him. We mostly got by scavenging and selling scrap from then on. When we had some caps to our name, we moved to Rivet City and opened a junk stand. It wasn't all bad, I suppose, but it was just the Wasteland. That life can bring you down.  
"Then, certain threats began forming in the Capital Wasteland - like the rise of the Enclave. Eventually, the Brotherhood of Steel came on a recruiting run. I felt it would be the best way out of our nowhere lives, so we joined up."

I giggled.

"Was there something funny in my story?" Danse was confused.

"No, I just... I have a seriously hard time picturing you as anything but a soldier."

It was his turn to laugh. "Clearly, I was ignoring my calling."

"I'm just glad you had bigger life ambitions than selling junk."

This time, we laughed together. But it didn't last as Danse frowned deeply soon enough.

"Cutler and I were almost inseparable, you know... We got our promotion to Knight together and although we were placed in different squads, I knew I could always count on him. Like the older brother I never had."

"He sounds like a good man," I said quietly. I kind of knew where this story was headed - during all my time in the Brotherhood, I hadn't met anyone named Cutler.

"He was." Danse looked away. "But one day, the recon team Cutler belonged to vanished on a scouting op. It took me days, but I managed to persuade my CO to dispatch a search party to find out what happened to them. After two weeks of restless searching, we tracked them down to a super mutant hive." The expression on Danse's face was unlike anything I had seen before - a strange mixture of anger, sadness, and regret.  
"The super mutants had killed everyone but Cutler. He should have been so lucky." He paused, words were coming to him with difficulty now. "The mutant bastards used their FEV to- to change him into one of their own kind. I had to... It-" His voice cracked. "It was my duty to...I..." The worst thing was that he still didn't cry. There were no tears in his eyes. "It... It wasn't Cutler anymore. I have to believe that."

My throat was dry. I swallowed.

"Danse... It's okay to cry," I said.

But who was I to talk? I had lost everything and I refused to shed a tear too. We were broken, both of us.

Wonder when we'd meet our breaking points. There had to be a line after which a person had to break into tears.

"The thing is..." Danse said quietly, "that I... Ever since Cutler died, I've seen other soldiers come and go. Some were brave, some were honest... Hell, some were even downright heroic." He closed his eyes, smiled. "But I never considered any of them to be a good friend, a friend like Cutler was... Until now."

I put a hand on my chest, for now too touched and too overwhelmed with the new information to speak up.

Danse took my other hand into both of his. Not for the first time, I noticed how rough the skin of post-War people was, nothing like my soft one. And he was so warm... Compared to me, everyone was.

I looked up at him, my eyes surely glimmering.

"It's a good feeling," he said. "But... it frightens me at the same time. Having this close a bond with someone, then losing them... It changes you." He shut his eyes. "I don't want to go through that again."

"I'm not dying on you."

"I'm aware you can't affect it, but I appreciate the sentiment." He sighed. "That's all there is for people like me."

"I was being serious," I said. "I don't intend to leave you."

He clenched his fist. "And do you think this is the first time I've heard this?!" He stood up. "I know I can't keep everyone safe. I don't trust myself with it. Sooner or later, I'll make another mistake and someone else will get hurt. I don't know if it will be Cait, Haylen, or you, but I know I will end up the way I always have!" He closed his eyes. "...Alone."

I couldn't say anything because damn it, if there was one thing I'd learned about the Wasteland, it was that it was painful in the most cruel way possible.

We were such a mess, the two of us. And we were supposed to survive the Glowing Sea?

I couldn't hug him. It was Paladin Danse. It was my sponsor, my mentor, my CO, my superior, and all that. _Inappropriate. A hug would be inappropriate, Nora._

I put my hand on his forearm.

He wasn't crying. I wasn't crying. But we sat like that together until eventually, I drifted off into dreamless sleep.

I awoke lying on the bed on which I was pretty sure I hadn't been lying while falling asleep.

I quickly ruffled up my hair, grabbed my small pack (the only thing you could fit inside a suit of power armor) and walked to the common room. I needed breakfast.

It was goddamn stew. Like always with the Brotherhood of Steel. They acted like peas were the only thing that grew in the Commonwealth (and I knew that wasn't true, because I'd met my share of farmers).

"I miss MacCready," I said gloomily as I forced myself to eat the half-liquid stew. MacCready maybe wasn't a professional chef, but he knew his way around Wasteland animals and how to make them taste good and not look gross.

"You'll get to miss more things about the Commonwealth rather soon," Danse noticed. "We're leaving first thing in the morning."

 _"Now_ is first thing in the morning," I noticed.

"You're right. We're leaving."

"You _do_ realize you're most probably gonna die," noticed one of the Scribes. I hadn't even bothered to learn her name, and now I was regretting it. She did have a point. "And this isn't even an official op."

I turned to my commanding officer. "It's not?!"

Danse didn't answer.

oooOOO***OOOooo

The Glowing Sea wasn't a literal sea. I'm not sure why, but I had had the idea that that place would be flooded with something more... liquid. Instead, it was just fog. Danse and Piper (as well as - to be honest - Nick, Doctor Amari, Haylen, Captain Cade, MacCready, and Cait) had warned me it'd look like this, but I hadn't been prepared.

It was everywhere. These radioactive fumes joining into a fog so thick you couldn't see farther than just about a hundred feet ahead. I understood how the Glowing Sea had got its name - you could see a faint aura of that characteristic uranium glow in almost everything here. And that everything was in an even worse state than most of the Commonwealth.

Collapsed buildings. Broken down cars and buses. Cracked roads. Highway overpasses that would suddenly end, collapsed, and force us to go back a few hundred meters.

We lost sight of each other once. If it weren't for Dogmeat, I'd have probably never found Danse in that sea of gas.

oooOOO***OOOooo

I eventually got used to the red blinking radiation alert on the bottom left corner of my power armor's UI.

oooOOO***OOOooo

Everything looked the same here, we couldn't even tell if we weren't going in circles.

oooOOO***OOOooo

We spotted a Deathclaw at some point. The first time I saw this creature had to be in conditions like this, making it appear even more sinister. It had horns and claws, and thick reptile-like skin, but most of all it scared me how humanoid it looked. It stood on two legs, had two arms, a head, and a tail. I couldn't tell anything about the front, because it had its back on us, but that was enough to scare me shitless.

We sneaked away before it could notice us.

oooOOO***OOOooo

Sometimes, the radiation levels would rise so high that we had to turn away and go another way in fear of getting radiation poisoning. By now it was clear that just our power armor wasn't enough of a protection.

I was beginning to worry about Dogmeat.

oooOOO***OOOooo

Time seemed to crawl extremely slowly here, and we hadn't found anything of interest other than a crashed airplane. I now believed we were going to die there, without finding anything.

oooOOO***OOOooo

"The Geiger on my suit's going crazy," Danse mumbled. He was as done with this whole thing as I was, if not more. "We're going to be glowing if we spend a few more hours in this environment."

"You don't say," I snarled. "But remind me - which way is out?"

Of course he didn't know. We were done for _and_ lost.

oooOOO***OOOooo

"What are the Children of Atom?" I asked. "You say they live here, but that's insanity. They can't be human... Or are they ghouls?"

Danse took a moment to think before he answered. "They're a cult. People who worship radiation as a divine. Their influence has grown a lot in the last few years and some of the branches of their religion have become near to aggressive."

"It's not a religion, it's a _joke_ ," I said. "Radiation, really?"

"Just don't say this if we talk to them."

"Oh no," I assured him, "if we talk to them, _you_ talk to them."

oooOOO***OOOooo

Our journey through the Glowing Sea was like one big blur to me: just the thick, sick, green fog and a feeling of fear. I wasn't sure what I was afraid of, but that feeling grew stronger the longer we stayed there.

oooOOO***OOOooo

There were insects here the size of dogs here - and if it weren't for my power armor, I'm pretty sure I'd have been poisoned. We wasted a good deal of ammo fighting them off.

oooOOO***OOOooo

It had been eleven hours since I'd eaten anything. My stomach was growling at me with every step I took and my mouth was dry from lack of water. But I didn't dare take off as much as the helmet of my power armor.

I was tired, hungry, and completely resigned.

oooOOO***OOOooo

"Smoke!" I rasped out. "Smoke, smoke, there's smoke over there!" I aggressively pointed with my finger.

I wasn't seeing things, was I? The Glowing Sea felt more like a desert than a sea, and it was easily the most tiring journey I had made during my time in the Commonwealth - during my life. So sure, I wasn't in my best state of mind, but... surely I wasn't going insane! I did see something.

"Where there's smoke there's fire," Danse said weakly. The fact that he wasn't feeling better than me did wonders for my self-esteem.

"And where there's fire, there's _people_!" I added urgently. "Come on, come on, come on!" I hadn't smoked for like ages. I needed a cigarette. And food. And air. And rest. And water. Or in a different order.

oooOOO***OOOooo

I remembered that I hadn't wanted anything to do with those Children of Atom, but somehow that didn't matter once I found out that the camp was theirs.

Of course - no one in their right mind would actually live here in the middle of the Glowing Sea.

I had to admit I wasn't sure what I'd see, but these people seemed completely human. Most of them were bald, but given the amount of radiation they lived in, that was to be expected. Aside from that, it was clear they were nuts.

"Hi there," I said to a man wearing a hooded robe. He looked more important than the rest.

He looked up at us, not a sign of fear at two seven-foot-tall heavily armed figures in bulky metal armor.

"What's your business here, outsiders?" he asked calmly. I didn't sense any hostility in the question.

"We're looking for a man named Brian Virgil," Danse said in the same tone. "Is there any chance that he passed through here? It was roughly three, maybe four months ago."

"That depends," the man answered. "What do you intend to do with this information? If you wish this man ill, I had never seen him."

I put on my most charming smile, but then I realized he couldn't see my face anyway. "We just want to talk to him. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Very well." He bowed his head. "The scientist passed through here three months ago. He didn't stay for long and clearly didn't want to keep close to others. Currently, he lives in a rocky cave southwest of here. It's not far, we supply him with food and other necessities."

"Thank you," I said, surprised. They were cooperative. Or just scared. Or just didn't care enough.

We managed to find that cave without much trouble. From the entrance, I could tell something was different. There were automatic turrets positioned by the door, _there was a door_ , and some wires running along the walls.

But the most important thing in my eyes was one of the statistics my power armor's UI was displaying.

"There's no radiation," I said. Hell, I didn't like my voice like this, all mechanical and tinny. I took off my helmet.

There was a moment of silence.

"I'm alright," I noticed. Reluctantly, Danse followed my cue and took off his helmet. We looked around.

"Are you sure he's here?"

"There's almost no radiation here and have you _seen_ the defenses? This is the place." I grabbed my laser rifle. "Do we act intimidating and demanding or reasonable and friendly?" I wondered.

Dogmeat barked and stopped to growl at something in the next room. We followed him there, weapons drawn.

I looked around the room. Kind of cozy for a cave. Dogmeat was still growling (though he kept close to Danse's side), baring his teeth at Virgil. And Virgil, in turn... Oh, God.

"You're a-" I couldn't speak. I was more shocked than I'd been when I first saw Nick Valentine. The mixture of hatred and fear sprayed over Danse's features spoke more than any words he could have said.

"That explains how you managed to survive six months in this radiation," I said finally.

Brian Virgil was a super mutant.

"The Institute were on your tail, so you hid in the only place they would never look. But you couldn't survive, no one could, in this amount of radiation. So you injected yourself with the FEV. Turning yourself into a super mutant would certainly make you immune to radiation." Danse shook his head gently. "A sacrifice like that is almost admirable, but personally, I'm appalled."

The super mutant awkwardly tried to adjust the glasses on his nose with his giant hands. He looked at us with an understandable amount of confusion.

"...Who are you people?"

"Brian Virgil?" I had a feeling that in different circumstances, there'd be shaking hands. "I'm Paladin Danse, representing the Brotherhood of Steel. This is my partner, Knight-Sergeant Nora." Danse crossed his arms, as close to that as the power armor would let him. "We know about the Institute, and about your escape."

"You're not with the Institute?" Virgil looked at us suspiciously. "Or is this some kind of trick so that you can get that merc Kellogg to sneak up on me?"

"Well," I raised an eyebrow, "that would be kinda hard, considering he's dead."

"Kellogg is- dead? That's... not possible! How can you be so sure?!"

"Huh. Puzzler. Being the one who pulled the trigger, I'd have to say... I don't know." Actually, it was Piper who had pulled the trigger. Whatever. "Listen, Kellogg is dead. I have the scars to prove it."

"Who's Kellogg?"

"Danse, honey, I'm in the middle of a conversation here and you're kind of butting in, so..." I motioned at him to back off.

"You're not being serious," Virgil said, looking at me strangely. "You _are_ being serious. What have you come here for? Not just to boast about your feats, that's for sure."

"No," I agreed. "We're here because I need to get into the Institute."

"You what-?" He crossed his arms. "Even if I could help you, why would you want to do that?!"

Danse and I exchanged glances. Do I tell him the truth or not? And if so, which truth? My truth, about Shaun and my revenge and personal grudges? The Brotherhood's truth, about destroying the synths at their source? The Minutemen's truth, about freeing the Commonwealth from the oppression the Institute posed? Or maybe the truth Piper believed in, about exposing all the secrets?

Nothing was clear anymore. I didn't even know how many sides there were, least of all which one I was on.

"Judging from your expressions, this is going to be a long talk," the super mutant said evenly. "You can leave that metal casing, there's no radiation here. Not enough to threaten you, anyway." Then, he said something that was so absurdly normal that I couldn't possibly refuse. "Do you drink tea or coffee?"

oooOOO***OOOooo

Danse stared at the cup of black coffee he had been given, probably suspecting it to be poisoned, with surprise. This was all so damn normal. I myself preferred a latte, and the steaming liquid in my mug did look inviting, but I didn't drink, either. Too surprised.

"Stop looking at me like that," Virgil said defensively. "I may be a monster at the moment, but that doesn't mean I'm not civilized. I prepared this hideout for a human, not _this_." He motioned at his body. "This wasn't really a part of my plan."

"Wasn't?" I asked skeptically. Virgil sighed in defeat. He sat down on a chair which squeaked under his weight.

"You were right before," he said to Danse, "I did turn myself into a mutant... Voluntarily. I did do it to hide from the Institute. This was the only way to survive the climate of the Glowing Sea." He coughed. "But that's not a conversation for now. For now, you two might tell me why exactly you want to enter the Institute."

I took a sip of the coffee. It was much better than what they served in the mess hall on the Prydwen.

"Well?"

I cleared my throat. "... I'm looking for my son," I said. "The Institute kidnapped him some years ago and killed my husband." Wow, there was almost no emotion now. I had practically accepted that fact by now.

Virgil nodded slowly. "...I understand. Still, most people are more afraid of the Institute. It was part of the reason I left. I didn't want to be part of something so hated."

I eyed his body with some disgust. "Didn't really work out well for you. If anything, you're worse off now."

"And that's kind of what I was heading to," he said. "If I'm going to help you, to betray the place that was once my home, I'm not going to do it for free."

I gritted my teeth. Of course. But this guy was a genuine Institute escapee, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I couldn't disagree.

"What's your price?"

"Oh, I don't have much care for money. I wouldn't have much use for it in this state anyway... No, I only ask one thing: if you do get inside the Institute... I had had this escape planned long before my first attempt. Among the things I worked on was a certain serum... A cure that would reverse the effect of the Forced Evolutionary Virus I'd inject myself with."

Danse stood up so abruptly he knocked down his chair and gave my heart a jump.

"I wasn't finished, soldier," Virgil said calmly. "The serum is still in the Institute. Without it, I'll remain in this absurd form."

"This is it?!" I had never heard Danse shout before, and now I was completely scared. "Look, Nora, and be sure to remember this very moment: this is an Institute scientist. He has created a way to save thousands, perhaps millions, who suffered the fate worse than death - and yet the only one he thinks of is himself." Danse clenched his fists on the edge of the table. His knuckles were white from the effort. "If you ever thought the Institute was up to any good, this should serve as an example. They have no care for the people of the Wasteland."

"This was a good table," Virgil noticed. Danse had very well broken off the edge of the tabletop. "You're exaggerating in your anger. This isn't personal."

"Like hell it isn't! If there's anything I can do to get this serum, I will." Danse looked up at the scientist in a way that was almost defiant. "We accept your deal, but only on one condition- that you help distribute this cure to others later on."

"I expect nothing less," Virgil said indifferently. "You have yourself a deal, soldier." He looked at me. "As to _you,_ have you ever fought a Courser?"

"A what now?" I asked. The name sort of rang a bell. "I don't think so."

"Well, you'll have to. Because that's your ticket in and out of the Institute." Virgil stood up, joined his hands behind his back, thinking. "Coursers are synths. Specially engineered for combat performance. They operate on the surface more than the rest, and are responsible for capturing or destroying all escapees from the Institute. That's mostly runaway synths, but I guess it includes me as well." He seemed uneasy. "Now, I'm about to tell you what is the most closely guarded secrets of the Institute. The entrance."

"There isn't one," I said. "You people use teleportation."

"Impressive. Not many people know that, especially up on the surface."

"Get to the point," said Danse, irritated. "Now you know we're being serious - so you could be, too. What do these Coursers have to do with the entrance?"

Virgil smiled, which looked slightly grotesque. "My dear soldier, they _are_ the entrance. Each Courser has a teleporter relay chip embedded inside their body. To get that chip, and thus the way inside the Institute, you are going to have to kill one."

"That sounds easy," I said. "It's just one synth. And they're the human-looking kind, aren't they?"

"That's Generation 3 for you," Virgil corrected me absently. "The Institute has been making almost exclusively "the human-looking kind" for over twenty years."

Twenty years. That's even longer than they'd had Shaun. That's... very long. Many synths. A lot of fear in society.

"Besides," he continued, "do not mistake human-looking for humane. Coursers are faster, stronger and deadlier than any enemy you've ever faced. It's unlikely you'll ever be able to kill one on your own - or even with help. But it's the only way I can think of. If there was another, I would tell you."

"How did _you_ leave?" I asked. He snorted, amused.

"Getting out isn't a problem, trust me. It's getting in you should be concerned about."

I had heard enough. This was going to be another stupidly impossible thing people are going to expect from me. I would need some help from my friends... It'd probably work out well. If I managed to convince MacCready to help... Yes. I had something of a plan.

"Okay," I said. "That's okay. Tell me where I can find one of those Coursers."

oooOOO***OOOooo

"You can't _not_ take power armor. It's just irrational."

"It's heavy, and it slows me down a lot. I'd be way slower," I reasoned.

"I get around," Danse pointed out.

"Yeah, right, you've only had like what, nine years, to learn." I crossed my arms. "Unless you know somewhere I can get a full set of heavy combat armor for a reasonable price - or for free - I'm going without armor."

Danse wrinkled his forehead, thinking.

"Paladin Brandis' weaponry stash," he said. "Listening Post Theta. It's ways northeast, but we don't have the time to go to the airport anyway. We could resupply at the Castle on our way."

"Danse, honey, I mean it with all the respect, but what the hell are you talking about?" I said. "We have all the time in the world."

"We may, but Virgil doesn't. He's been under the influence of the FEV for... How long? Three months at least. He's lasting surprisingly long anyway, but I've seen it before. It's only going to get worse."

"What, you mean he's gonna become a super mutant?" I asked. Then the stupidity of that question hit me. "I mean his brain too?"

He didn't answer that question. "You're right, you don't have the time to effectively learn how to use power armor right now. But I'll be damned before I let you battle a Courser without more protection than those shoulder pads of yours."

We were right on the edge of the Glowing Sea again. This place was getting on my nerves. Not only was it dangerous and creepy, it was also far from almost everything in the Commonwealth. Recon Bunker Theta, the place Danse'd mentioned? It would take us at least five, maybe six, days to get there on foot. I didn't see how that was better than the airport base, but I was no tactician. I didn't argue with him.

We spent the night - or rather, the few last hours of the night - at Listening Post Echo again, and in the morning we managed to call in a vertibird to take us to the Castle. The flight was probably long, but I barely noticed - I spent the whole time snoozing happily and hugging Dogmeat like a teddy bear.

Once we reached the Minutemen's HQ, another surprise awaited me: Cait, whom I'd sent to the Castle only to check up on things, had practically gone native. She seemed fine doing little jobs like helping some farm defend against a raider attack or clearing out a feral ghoul nest near some settlement. Danse asked her if she wanted to tag along, but she apparently had her hands full for the day.

The same couldn't be said for Preston Garvey. The General of the Minutemen seemed rather restless, and he was more than glad I'd come over.

"I don't even know why I'm feeling like this," he said. "Except I do know." He laughed. "It's stupid. I've worn out a lot of shoe leather since I joined the Minutemen. Always on the move, always on the run. But now? Don't get me wrong, I am glad we got the Castle back, but I don't think I can stay in one place for much longer. It doesn't agree with my nature."

"You've been doing great," I noticed. "But you know, you could always take a break from the general-ing." I smiled - I remembered something very similar Hancock had told me. "You don't have to be with the Minutemen to be the leader of the Minutemen." I put a hand on his shoulder. "What say you to a little raid on a former Brotherhood of Steel outpost?"

Preston was confused by that. "I thought you said the Brotherhood of Steel weren't the enemy."

"They're not. I need something a certain Paladin left at a certain listening post because I'm going to fight a Courser. Well, _we're_ going. If you're up for it, at least."

He looked at me almost without comprehension. I realized I'd been talking a bit too quickly and maybe'd put too much information out. "...What's a Courser?"

I explained. He paled. For a while, he couldn't get out a word. I waited.

"And this... This will help take the fight to the Institute?" he asked eventually, stammering a bit. "Are you sure there isn't another way?"

I grabbed his hand. I'd never noticed just how pale my skin was, but now the contrast almost hurt. What was wrong with me?

"It's the only way," I said. "And I completely understand if you don't help. I'd cave if I could, too."

"Except I won't cave," he said. "You can count me as a part of your team from now on."

I smiled. "I expected nothing less from you, General."

The next unexpected ally was Curie, the medic robot from Vault 81. I had practically forgotten all about her, assuming she would stay with the Minutemen from then on. Well, apparently, she wouldn't. She began rambling on about her research and some more scientific talk I didn't understand, that she couldn't fully analyze the Commonwealth without fully experiencing it, and in the end, I just asked her if she wanted to come with us. She agreed and I was happy to have a doctor on the team. That would undoubtedly come in handy.

I was standing on the shore, looking at the ocean ahead. The Prydwen marooned in the sky on the other side of the bay cast a dark shadow over the setting sun. I felt almost torn apart. Here I was, standing between the Brotherhood of Steel and the Minutemen. Literally and figuratively. And I was about to head into a war with the Institute while still unsure whose side I was on.

"Lieutenant-General?" someone asked. I spun around, instinctively clenching my fist to hide the items I was holding. It turned out to be Ronnie Shaw, accompanied by Danse and Cait. Cait was dressed in something that was almost a Minuteman outfit - not that there was any strict uniform among us.

"Right here," I called out to them.

I opened my fist to take one last look at the dogtags that lay on my palm.

"You must have dropped these," I said, absently passing them to Danse. I didn't mention I'd taken them from his pocket when he hadn't been looking. "Your holotags," I explained.

There was a short silence.

"You got nothing under first name," I said.

"You've got nothing under last name," he noticed.

"Fair enough." I turned to Ronnie. "You were looking for me?"

She nodded. "Yes. I've found something I think you'd like to see." She nodded at me to follow her. We walked back inside and Ronnie lead me to the older parts of the Castle, ones we didn't really use. "Here."

I looked at the stairway leading to what had to be some sort of basement.

"What's here?" I asked, not sure what reaction was expected from me.

"I had your robot clean up the debris and turns out there's still stuff down there that doesn't have mirelurk on it. Just thought you'd like to know, Lieutenant."

"Well... Thanks," I said.

"No problem, ma'am." She walked away.

Huh. I had been so involved with the Brotherhood of Steel lately that I'd nearly forgotten that among the Minutemen, I was an officer.

I walked down the stairs and pushed the door. It didn't budge until I used almost all my strength, but then I managed to get into the cellar. There were so many things here that we could make use of! Ammunition, weapons, schematics. If these were for real, we'd be able to actually set up artillery at the Castle! Oh yeah. This was definitely a good discovery.

I also found a sentry bot, but it didn't seem to notice me. Its visor had to be broken because I was pretty sure it relied on thermovision - it attacked a rat but didn't attack a radroach (nor myself).

For the safety of any future endeavors, I took out one of its fusion cores, deactivating it. Maybe later I should bring Danse or Sturges to have a look at it. Fixed, it could be a big asset.

Not that far away, I found the body of who must have been the last General, General Becker. How long had Piper said it'd been since he'd died? Thirty years? I hung my head as I knelt next to his body. I had never been the most religious type, but I hoped the man had found his peace.

As to the uniform Becker was wearing... Well, I took that. I wasn't planning on letting Preston on it for now, even though as the current General he had the right of inheritance. I wasn't planning on giving this up just yet... I wasn't sure what I was doing, but I folded the General's uniform and hid on the bottom of my backpack.

oooOOO***OOOooo

We had been on the road for almost a day. I was beginning to wonder whether going to the airport wouldn't have been the more sensible choice.

"Where _are_ we, even?" I asked, exasperated.

"According to pre-War administration documentation, this area used to be known as Medford," Curie informed me. I couldn't help but smile at the sound of her voice. Maybe she was a robot, but damn was that French accent adorable. "We're also close to Salem."

"Whoa," Preston pushed his hat onto his forehead with a small laugh. "Don't wanna go _there_."

"It's on our way," Danse muttered.

"Why? What's wrong?" I asked. His reaction had made me all curious.

"I heard something went down at the old Museum of Witchcraft in Salem. No one knows what exactly, though. We were gonna check it out, but Sturges chickened out. You know. Witches, old haunted buildings... Some say the Devil himself is at work there."

"Like, supernatural?" I tilted my head. "And you believe that?"

He just laughed. "I'm not really sure what I believe."

"Can we go see?" I asked. After a reflection, I turned to Danse. "Can we? Please, it's just a small detour."

He sighed. "I suppose we're not in that much of a hurry... I can agree if you're comfortable with exploring old ruins after dusk."

I laughed mirthlessly. "Very funny."

"Come on. I'll lead the way," Preston said. "I think I still know how to get there."

"You've been in Salem before?" I asked. I was finding out many new things about my friends lately.

"I've been all over the Commonwealth back in my time. I suppose with the Minutemen more organized now, time'll come when I'll have to get used to walking again. There's still plenty of work to be done."

I agreed wholeheartedly. We set off for Salem and that was that.

"Nora?" Danse held me up, letting the others get far away enough so that they wouldn't hear what he'd say. "I have something I need to ask you, if you don't mind."

"Sure thing, boss. Shoot." I finger-gunned him with a wide grin. He was dead serious. I blushed. "Sorry."

"It's about Virgil."

"What about him?"

"This may seem like an unusual request, but... I would be grateful if you didn't mention his-" He paused, looking for a good word. "His _condition_ to anyone in the Brotherhood of Steel."

Well, that _was_ surprising.

"It wouldn't be good if someone were to kill him before he got the chance to try that serum he had been working on." Danse looked away. "I'm asking not as your commanding officer or even your friend. I'm asking as a human being. Let this man live until we can decide about his fate."

I looked at him, trying my best to look shrewd. "Is this about Cutler?"

"It is and it isn't. It's about the good of humanity. And trust me, the good that can come from the existence of that cure is far greater than the ill that can come from letting one super mutant live."

I smiled, and for the first time in days, my smile was sincere. "Of course. You have my word, I won't tell anyone."

oooOOO***OOOooo

"So this is it?" I asked. "Creepy."

The building was built in a Gothic style, but with centuries of deterioration clear on it. _Salem's Museum of Witchcraft_ , it said in large letters above the door. (Well, actually, it only said _Salm's Musem of Witcraf_ , but I could work it out.) Hell yeah it was creepy. I mean, there were ravens (or was it crows?) all over the Wasteland, but I had never noticed how ominous their croak was. I was suddenly regretting coming here.

"Look at this," Preston called out. "There's someone here!"

I abandoned trying to open the door which wouldn't budge anyway to meet up with him behind the museum.

"Are they dead?" I guessed before I could even see. He nodded.

I took a look at the bodies (or body? I wasn't sure). They were dismembered and bloody parts were lying scattered in a several meter radius. I felt the need to gag.

"Oh, dear," Curie exclaimed once she saw what we were seeing.

"Gunners," Garvey said. "Mercenary work, but what were they working on that would be this dangerous?"

"I found a holotape on one of the bodies," Danse offered. I snatched it from his hands and pushed into my Pip-Boy. I pressed play immediately.

 _"Jefferies! Lee got the recorder working. So, this the sorta detail ya had in mind when you signed up for the Gunners? Hauling luggage from Lynn Woods for some robot butler? What was his name? Wellington?"_

A second voice joined in. _"Not now, Hart. Where's Conners? He's not as his post."_

 _"Oh, uh, sorry. He said he'd found some tracks, wanted to check them out."_

 _"Tracks? What track... What the hell is that?!"_

 _"Oh my... C-Conners? Where- Where's the rest of him?"_

 _"Jesus... It found us. Lee, grab the case! Do not let that thing out of your sight! Everyone, inside the museum! Now!"_

 _"Wait! Jefferies! What found us?!"_

The recording cut off into static. The four of us stood motionless for a while, processing what we'd just heard.

"Okay, am I the only one who has chills down their back right now?" I stammered. "I don't think this is something we should get involved in."

"You're the one who wanted to investigate this," Danse pointed out.

"And I'm the one who's gonna regret it most, aren't I," I muttered. "Let's go inside the museum."

The main entrance was locked, but we managed to find something of a back door which led to the basement. Of course, as if I hadn't had enough dark, damp, dusty places lately.

"Let's stick close together, shall we?" Preston whispered weakly. The grim climate must have got to him too.

"And let's be, like, as quiet as possible," I added.

I jumped back in fear, crashing into Danse, when something moved upstairs. He put his hand over my mouth (quite a reasonable decision, because I was close to screaming) and held me in place. The old wooden floor of the ceiling creaked as something walked across the room. I found myself holding my breath.

I shuddered when some dust fell onto my head, knocked down when whatever it was walked above us.

Danse let go of me once the most immediate danger was over. I swallowed. A low growl could be heard from upstairs.

"I said we'd regret this," I whispered. _The devil himself, huh...? Now I'm shitting myself._

We crept forward much more cautiously from then on, and at least I wasn't the only one who was scared now. It probably reached the breaking point when a human arm dropped from a hole in the ceiling, covering Preston Garvey in fresh blood. That was when I decided I wanted to run as far away as I could.

I shut my eyes, praying for it to be just a bear or a big, mutated bear, when the creature upstairs moved again. This creaking was driving me insane.

"These footsteps are too heavy for a human being," Danse whispered.

"Thanks, I needed that reminder," I snapped at him. I was close to getting a heart attack without comments like that.

Preston shushed us just in time. There was another, longer growl from upstairs, followed by a sound similar to scratching a blackboard with fingernails. I shut my eyes and grabbed his hand.

"Guys, I'm scared," I whined in a whisper. I wasn't even ashamed of admitting it. "I don't wanna know what's up there."

"Whatever it is, we'll face it together, right?" Garvey squeezed my hand reassuringly.

"Or die trying," I mumbled.

We did our damnedest to ignore the scratching and heavy steps above, but with the old floor creaking as it was and dust and sometimes blood trickling down at us, it was damn near impossible.

(And now I was starting to notice the downsides of this new setting of our party; I was only surrounded by those 'responsible' people now, and if someone didn't make a joke soon, I'd die from fear alone.)

Our breathing seemed way too loud. We should be quieter. What the hell was that thing up there?! It didn't sound like anything I knew of, and it had to be at least as big as a bear! What the fuck?! What the fuck! We were going to die here!

"Nora?" Danse grabbed my wrist. "I can almost _hear_ you panicking inside your head."

"It'll be okay," Preston added. "Trust us."

"I do trust you. I just don't trust creepy old haunted buildings where people say the devil dwells-" I stopped. "You guys don't think it's _really_ the devil, do you?"

Because I wasn't so sure anymore. And the fact that no one answered didn't make me feel any better.

oooOOO***OOOooo

"Holy-!" Preston Garvey swore aloud, turning his laser musket to the wall at just the last moment. The rest of us'd drawn our weapons too, in his defense, but we hadn't shot. "Who the hell arranges mannequins like that?!"

There was a display of witches performing some kind of ritual, and it was the thing that had gotten us all so on edge right now - in the dim lighting, it was easy to mistake the silhouettes for real people. I had gotten scared too.

"This display's been untouched for like two hundred years," I said.

"Not exactly." Preston nodded his head towards the figures. "Someone took one of the witches' clothes."

The idea of someone running around the Wasteland in a genuine witch's outfit somehow wasn't so much absurd as it was disturbing.

"You two seem to have forgotten about the devil," Danse scolded us in a whisper. "We're not alone here. Don't forget that."

So we were officially calling the monster 'the devil'? Great way to make it less scary.

"Oh, my." Curie joined up with us, keeping close to the ground as floating robots did when they were sneaking, sounding very concerned. "I don't suppose any of you would happen to know how to deal with what is called a Deathclaw?"

"A Deathclaw?" I exclaimed. "It was a Deathclaw?!" I knew it wasn't probably the most sensible thing to think, but I was incredibly relieved! No supernatural, then? It wasn't the devil. The museum wasn't haunted.

"It's just a Deathclaw. Alright, so we can leave this place as far behind us as we can," Preston said. That suggestion really agreed with me. But... Damn it, conscience.

"We can't leave this Deathclaw here like that," I said. "You've seen what it did to the Gunners! How many more have to die?"

Dogmeat whimpered.

"But the Gunners said it'd been following them. That's not natural for Deathclaws. They must've done something to piss it off."

"Preston, honey, _nothing_ about Deathclaws is natural," I pointed out. "I'm all for not getting into fights, but this is, like, social service. You said the Minutemen were supposed to investigate this thing anyway."

"May I just interject for a minute?" Danse held up a finger. "I just wanted to notice that you've been making a lot of noise with this argument and an animal like that can detect sounds from almost a mile away, so-"

"Back!" I roared, jumping away as splinters and wood exploded into all directions after a giant reptilan creature lunged at us.

The Deathclaw roared, causing me to wince, and turned its head in search of a victim. Danse and Curie were lucky enough to have made it to the other side of the room, but Preston Garvey and I, we were screwed.

"Don't stand there!" Danse commanded. "Fire!"

That reminded me of the gun I had been holding in my hand this whole time. I aimed and began shooting, much like the others. Curie attacked with her flamer, which was probably the most irritating thing to the Deathclaw because it immediately slashed at her with its razor-sharp claws. Holy mother of God was that thing huge! It was easily the size of three grown men.

Dogmeat growled, seeing that Danse was in danger, and jumped at the Deathclaw, biting into its leg just above the ankle. That attack didn't do much other than get it away from the others. Danse changed the fusion cell in his laser rifle for like the third time since we'd started fighting, he was firing a lot faster than I was and much, much faster than Preston with his laser musket. But even that wasn't enough to defeat an angry Deathclaw, and I should have known that.

Dogmeat let out a whine as his body hit the wall, brutally shoved there by the increasingly angry animal. My heart wanted to go there and help him, but I had more important matters at hand.

The Deathclaw charged at me, so I turned tail and ran. There wasn't anywhere to run! I forced my legs to go way faster than my body would normally let me, anxious to get away from the lethal danger on my tail.

I cried out in pain when it got my back. My leather jacket and Brotherhood uniform underneath both ripped as easily as paper, exposing bare skin underneath. I felt blood flowing from the fresh wound, down my back. Damn it!

"Nora!" Paladin Danse called out my name as he did the very thing he had told me not to do and dropped his weapon. He managed to catch me before I could fall. "Oh thank god, you're alright." He sighed with relief. He ripped off the sleeve of my uniform to inject a Stimpak into my veins. I didn't even protest, grateful for the immediate relief the painkillers provided.

I jumped off from his arms onto the ground. "I can walk. I can fight. I'll be fine," I assured him.

Meanwhile, Curie was suffering heavy damage from the Deathclaw's continuing attacks. She was trying to hold it off with her built-in surgical equipment, but that made for a poor weapon. I decided it was high time someone intervened.

I took aim and held my breath to steady my grip on the rifle. I was no MacCready, but I could hit a target if I really, really concentrated.

I shot the Deathclaw in its ear. I had guessed like with most reptiles, it would be a sensitive spot. Jackpot!

...Now it was angry. At me. It ran at me, but I ran sideways to avoid meeting it head-on. Fighting this thing in close quarters was like a death sentence.

Danse and Preston took up arms from either side of the animal, making it somewhat confused as to who attack next. Its thick skin was like armor, we couldn't pierce it.

The Deathclaw slashed first at Danse, then at Preston, with its claws, roaring viciously.

Preston Garvey screamed, his hands immediately going to his face. Half of his head was covered in blood. He collapsed, pressing his palms against the wound. He didn't stop screaming for a second.

I stared ahead, unable to believe what was going on. We... We had been winning. I had been sure it would be alright... We weren't supposed to die!

No one was supposed to die!

With a cry of anger, I threw myself at the Deathclaw. It slashed at me with its claws, but I had seen that coming and I jumped aside.

"Nora!" Danse screamed, throwing something in my direction, over the angry Deathclaw. I jumped up and barely managed to catch it. It was a magnetic field taser, but... one of those was useless. Why would he give me that? "Now, Nora, _now!"_

It took me a fraction of a second to understand what was going on and another to ram the taser's blade into the creature's thick hide, just at the same moment as Danse did the same from the other side.

The Deathclaw roared and I had to drop my gun to cover my ears. Danse dragged me away before the large body hit the ground.

Preston was still screaming. I could see tears in his one eye that hadn't been massacred. I scrambled to my feet and ran towards him, alongside Curie.

"Do something!" I demanded from her. It hurt me to see him like this, and his pained screaming wasn't making it any better. Oh my God, his face... His face...

"There isn't much I can do without proper utensils and a more sterile environment," Curie began.

"I don't care!"

"This man is suffering," Danse took my side. "You're a medic, help him!"

"You're wounded, too-"

"I'll manage," I growled. "Just... Take him to safety. Please. Don't let him die... Please."

Preston's screams had managed to turn into heavy breathing interluded by sobs by now. I couldn't bear myself to look at him, afraid of what I'd see.

Curie immediately got to cleaning the wound, making the Minuteman flinch in pain from time to time.

"Nora." Danse touched my shoulder. "Come on. There's nothing you can do."

"I can hold his hand." I looked up at him, tears in the corners of my eyes.

So I did. I held his hand through all of that pain and the worst moments of the whole process until Curie said that she had to take him someplace safe if she were to do more. I let her. I knew it wouldn't be safe for Preston to travel in that state, but it wouldn't be any safer for him to stay with a wound like that untreated.

"Nora?" Danse called out. I looked around, but the only thing I could see was the dead Deathclaw on the floor. He walked out of some smaller room. "Come here. You should see this."

I followed him to what turned out to be a restroom. There was another body there, also ripped apart, surrounded by... broken eggshells. Another one of the Gunners.

"There's a holotape," he informed me. I picked it up and played on my Pip-Boy.

 _"A nestful of Deathclaw eggs."_ It was one of the people from the previous recording - Lee? Something like that. _"A dozen, maybe more. Smashed to bits. Except this one."_ He laughed desperately. _"No wonder they wouldn't tell us what was in that case. If I'd known, I would've personally told the Gunner bosses to take those Diamond City caps and stuff 'em."_ I could hear the Deathclaw's heavy footsteps in the background. _"Guess... Guess we know why that Deathclaw tracked us all the way from Lynn Woods now. We stole her damn kids. Christ. Maybe if we'd just returned the eggs...?"_ A low growl. _"Oh, hey momma. You looking for this?"_

Static. For a long time, until the tape ended.

I knelt down to pick up that last egg. It was large, sure, but not as heavy as I'd expected. "Holy shit..." Now I was angry we'd had to fight that Deathclaw. It was really just protecting its own.

We walked out of the museum through the main entrance now. I was still holding that egg in my arms.

"Guess we have to take it back," I said quietly.

Danse blinked. He looked at me. "Whatever do you mean?"

"This egg. We should take it back to the nest, where the Gunners'd taken it from."

"You can't be serious. You know what Deathclaws are like. You would be saving a life of one of those monsters, allowing them to breed, to spread!"

"This is the right thing to do," I said evenly.

"This is the right way to get yourself killed," Danse shot back immediately. "There is _no way_ I'm letting you do that."

"You can't tell me how to live my life!" I pointed a finger at him angrily.

"Don't you dare take another step," he warned. Of course, as soon as he said that, I took another step. He grabbed my arm forcefully. "This is an order!"

I took a step back, shocked and slightly afraid by the sudden change in his voice. Any affection or friendship was gone - this was an officer speaking to his subordinate. And the anger... I had never heard him sound so angry.

I only managed to shake my head, holding onto the egg as if it were life itself.

"This is a clear act of insubordination," Danse growled. "You received a direct order from a senior officer, Sergeant. I have no choice but to report this."

"Are you trying to threaten me now?"

"I'm trying to talk to your senses! You may try to walk to your death, but believe me, I'm not taking another step. This is _it._ "

I had to admit that going there alone wasn't something I was especially keen on - and the sternness in Danse's voice suddenly made me realize how serious he was - but I had already gone too far to back away.

"If you think this is going to make me turn back, you're wrong." I bit my lip. "This isn't something I need your help with anyway."

The hurt that reflected in his eyes was quickly gone.

"Very well," he said quietly. "If that's what you want."

"...Fine," I replied harshly. "Fine! I'm alright on my own!" Awkward silence. "I'll go now!"

I turned tail and ran. I was just hoping he hadn't followed me, but I wouldn't dare look back and make it seem as if I cared. I didn't feel very dignified running like that, either, but - again - my pride didn't let me slow down.

I scoffed. _What an idiot._ How had I even gotten mixed up with people like that?

"I don't need him," I said to myself. Hell, I didn't need _any_ of them.

I walked ahead until I could see the Deathclaw's nest. Thankfully enough, it seemed empty.

I let out a relieved sigh and pulled the egg from underneath my jacket.

"There," I said quietly.

Before I could put the egg back, a Deathclaw, fully grown Deathclaw, emerged from the cave nearby.

I froze. It looked at me and I was sure it was seeing the egg I was holding. _Oops_.

The Deathclaw took a step in my direction and it was all I could do not to panic. I shut my eyes, waiting for it to kill me. At this point, even running away wouldn't have worked.

I reluctantly opened one eye when I realized I wasn't dead yet. I held the egg as far away from my body as I could.

"Hey there," I said weakly. The Deathclaw tilted its head at me. "That's right. Good Deathclaw... See? I brought your baby back."

I put the egg back in the nest as carefully as I could.

"See?" I said. "No one needs to be anyone's dinner. We're alright."

The Deathclaw looked at me for a very long moment, but eventually it just walked past me to tend to the nest. More concretely, sprinkle some sand onto the egg.

"That's right," I said with a sad smile. I was feeling more confident now. "That's right. See, I helped you... Poor thing."

Maybe it was weird to call this genetically engineered killer a poor thing, but my heart went out to this Deathclaw. All this time, what I had been looking for in MacCready, Jun Long and so many others... It was this Deathclaw.

My kindred spirit.

"Danse wouldn't understand," I told it. It looked at me almost as if it knew what I was saying. "He thought he was doing the right thing, probably. But it was wrong, that's why I left. I had to come here to you. I knew... I knew this. Your partner killed, your children stolen like that... I know this pain."

Like I said, kindred spirit.

I reached out to touch the Deathclaw's snout. It didn't bite my hand off, it didn't shy away from it. I closed my eyes, petting it cautiously.

"There," I whispered. "There we go."

I was feeling actually good. I had done a good deed by helping this Deathclaw. To hell with Preston, Curie, Danse, and anyone else who thought it was wrong. I didn't care what they thought (well, I _did_ but... not about this). What mattered was that I was feeling good about myself.

I found Paladin Danse in the same place I had left him. He waited for me to catch up and when I did, he just picked up his backpack and set off. We walked beside each other in complete silence from then on.

It must have been hours until I finally gathered the courage to speak up.

"Are you still angry?" I asked.

Silence.

"I'm not really going to do it, you know." He put a hand to his forehead and sighed heavily. "Report that situation. You did what you considered was right... If I denied you the right to do it, I would be in the wrong, not you." He paused. "What I'm trying to say is that we may have our disagreements, but, in the end, I have faith in your judgment. Your instinct seems to be right on target." Danse shook his head. "But, for the love of god, I wish you could see how _stupid_ you are sometimes."

"Apology time?" I grinned. "It doesn't hurt to admit you were wrong."

"Yes. I am getting to that... I was only so angry because I care about you. I don't want you to be the reason you die."

"That's the cutest thing you've said all day, you know?" I looked at the ground with a smile.

"Oh. I wasn't aware... I didn't realize you would perceive my words as such." He laughed nervously. "At least, it wasn't my intention. I mean..."

"Danse?"

"...Yes?"

"I _always_ know what you mean."

 **Level up.  
** **New perk: Inspirational(2) -** **your companions are now 10% more resistant to physical and poison damage. When travelling with more than two companions, you gain a 5% XP bonus.**


	23. Hunter, Hunted

**Chapter Twenty-One  
** **Hunter, Hunted**

* * *

"You already look better," Cait said. "Kinda intimidatin'. I like that."

This combat armor was something I should have gotten a long time ago. For the first time in a long time, I felt, truly, safe. The Brotherhood insignia on my chest was nearly faded, but overall the set was in an incredible state. And, big perk - it was light.

"Thanks," I said. I couldn't afford to smile, though. Everyone at the Castle was kind of nervous today, an aura usually alien to the Minutemen.

I couldn't bring myself to ask. But I also knew that I had to.

"Have you seen Preston Garvey?" I choked out finally. Cait nodded towards the General's quarters in the eastern wing.

I knocked on the door, but I didn't wait to be asked in and just went inside.

He was wearing a bandage over his right eye and even though the dressing was fully professional, I could still see the wound was ugly underneath. Damn.

Preston noticed me and smiled weakly. He tipped his hat a bit. "Sit down, Lieutenant." He was being perfectly polite and all friendly. I hated myself.

I sat down and accepted the bottle of Sunset Sarsaparilla he offered me. I uncapped it but I didn't drink. I only did my best not to look at Preston's face. At him at all. I wasn't even sure why I had come here - to talk? To apologize? Probably that last one.

"It looks worse than it is," he said.

"And if I asked Curie?" I asked pointedly. I was sick of being lied to.

Preston sighed in defeat. "She'd tell you I'm probably never going to see with that eye again. That Deathclaw got me good, there's going to be a scar even if it heals. But... it's unlikely that it will."

I clenched my fists on the armbands of my chair. "It's my fault."

He reached over the table to put his hand on mine. I looked up to meet his eye looking at me with more depth and forgiveness than I allowed myself.

"It's not," he said. "It's not."

And I thought that Preston Garvey was absolutely amazing because, in his situation, I'd never be able to smile.

He stood up. "Well, you mentioned something about killing some special synth. I'm still on-board for that, if you haven't changed your plans."

I nodded. "Right there with you, General. I thought we should wait a few days, though. I'm wounded and so are you, and besides, my plan involves a certain friend of mine, and I haven't had the time to run it by him yet."

"This friend of yours... Are you sure he'll agree? It's pretty dangerous."

This time, I did smile. "Have you _met_ my friends?"

Leaving him with that question to ponder, I went outside to check up on one last person. Well, _person_...

"Dogmeat, hey buddy," I ruffled the fur on his head and let him lick my hand, "how you been doin'?"

"He's been fine, if you want to find out," Danse answered absently, looking up from the magazine he was reading. "Otherwise, you're just talking to a dog." He put the paper back on the table. "I was worried that Deathclaw had got him bad, but Dogmeat is just about the toughest dog I've ever seen. He'll be fine."

"So everyone survived," I summed up. "Good. I wasn't hoping for that much."

"How is your back?" he asked.

"Still hurts, but I've damn near gotten used to pain, y'know. When we get to Diamond City, I'll let the doctor have a look at it."

"So you're still determined to do it."

"Go to Diamond City or kick the Institute's ass? Because I'm in for both." I narrowed my eyes. "You have a problem with that?"

"Oh no." He held up his hands defensively. "Determination is good. I support it. In fact..." He grabbed the magazine and handed to me. "Here. For good will's sake. I think you'll find it useful."

His tone made me suspect there was some kind of joke at my expense here, but I didn't refuse. I hadn't had anything other than boring reports to read for months.

I looked at the cover. _US Army Covert Operations_. Instead of commenting, I hid the newspaper in my pack. As I did that, I took a glance at my Pip-Boy. It was 11th February. Boy, I hated this time of year.

I looked around, exasperated. Most of the snow hadn't even melted yet, yet another reason to hate February. _I guess I know why this month is cut short._

"Okay," I said, turning back to them, "you guys going or what?"

oooOOO***OOOooo

I leaned on the wall, waiting for Takahashi to get working on my order, a second bowl of his wonderful rad-free noodles. Good stuff. I absently threw up a bottlecap and amused myself with catching it.

"And here's the hero of the hour," I heard a familiar voice. I hid the bottlecap into my pocket, doing my best not to grin maniacally.

"Nicky." I goofily saluted at him. "Hey there. So, did you get it?"

He sighed. "Most people start with a 'how have you been', you know."

"Yeah." I put my hands together. "So. D'you get it?"

"Well, Nora, here's the thing... The Institute is different than your usual goons. They're elaborate and careful, and... I didn't get it."

I grinned at him, biting on my lower lip. "That's fine, 'cos I have it."

He blinked. "For real?"

"Yeah," I nodded along. "I found the guy. Brian Virgil. He told me _everything._ "

"Everything?" That word seemed to worry my synth friend.

"Well, everything I needed to know about how to get in. There wasn't a lot of time for chit-chat."

"If you have everything you need, why meet with me?"

I smirked. "Cos you're my friend. Cos I wanna hang out. Cos I wanna know if you've asked out Ellie yet."

"What." Nick looked at me as if I were insane.

"You know, it _is_ today." I put my hand on his shoulder. "Nick, honey, this is your best chance. She likes you, besides."

"It's not that simple, Nora! I don't know what world you live in, but nothing is that simple. She's... human. And I'm not." He sighed, looked down, flexed his fingers. "I'm not. I'm a synth."

"But what does that mean?" I asked. "Isn't that synthetic human?" I tilted my head sympathetically. "I know this isn't the perfect way to live, but it's the only life you have. Who cares it was created through some kind of ultimate blasphemy against God or Nature or however you call it? It's a life. It's _your_ life. So go live it."

He closed his eyes and smiled. Without a word, he lit a cigarette and took a drag. He then looked at me, still smiling. "You spend too much time with Piper."

"I do," I agreed. "It's good for me."

"I guess it is..." Nick rubbed his chin. "If I compare you to the mess you were just a few months ago when I first met you, it's like you've found a reason to live."

"Really?" I was surprised. "It was that bad?"

"Oh no, it's just that... Well, it looked like the only thing driving you forward was a need for vengeance. But now it's _so_ clear you're past that low moment in your life."

We talked for some more time, but I couldn't really focus on the conversation. I was still thinking about what he'd said. Thinking about how my life'd changed for the better. Had it really? I guess I had made a lot of friends in that time, and I had found something more of a purpose, but...

I'd never looked back on it like that.

I'd always counted up how much I'd lost - never once had I thought about how much I'd gained. A family. I'd gained a family.

It was funny, in a way.

As a kid, you always think that a family is parents and children. It's the first image of a family you have in your head, because it's the one you know.

Then, as you grow older, you start seeing things differently: family is your husband, wife, your children, but also your siblings or closest friends... It's the people closest to you.

A family doesn't have to be a man, a woman, and a child. It can be just a couple with no kids. And if the parents die, the kids are each other's family. A family can even only be one parent and one child.

Right now? I was starting to believe that a family could be a mercenary, a journalist, two soldiers, and a raider.

I bid farewell to Valentine, promised him I'd tell him as soon as I got into anything too dangerous for me to handle, and left to seek out my family. I didn't know where to look, exactly, but I figured it wouldn't be a bad idea to start with the most crowded places. The Colonial Taphouse, that posh restaurant uptown - no one I knew there. Takahashi's noodle stand at the market, almost empty. I eventually steered towards the Dugout Inn, partially because I thought it'd be a good idea to buy myself a drink before I remember I don't have a boyfriend.

The inn was kept by those two Russian brothers, Vadim and Yefim, both of whom I really liked. They were positive people, Vadim especially. It gave me hope for the Wasteland.

"Nora!" Cait called out to me as soon as I closed the door behind myself. "What're you doin' here? Came for a drink or...?"

I smiled. "Actually, it doesn't matter. I can have a round, sure." I ordered some of that moonshine they made here. Cait was a good drinking partner - I swear, that girl could handle more than a grown man. "What's in the box?" I asked once we had sat down.

Cait followed my gaze to the small cardboard box she was holding. "Funny you should say, I was just lookin' for you with this thing. It's, uh... It's for you."

"Oh, shoot. And I didn't get you anything," I joked. Cait titled her head, confused. "Because, you know. It's 14th February," I explained. "Valentine's Day."

"Oh!" She laughed. "Nah, I didn't mean it like that. And you don't _have to_ get me anythin'."

I took the box from her and opened it.

"Gloves?" I asked skeptically. Fingerless, made from leather. I tried them on and was pleased to see they fit.

"They're not for cold," Cait explained. "It's for when you're, like, climbin' or you're gettin' up or somethin' else. So you don't hurt your hands."

I had a feeling there was something more to this, but I wasn't one to refuse a gift, especially from Cait, who rarely did such things.

"Thanks, Cait," I said. "I appreciate it. I really do."

I stood up. "Well, I think I'd better go. Sooner or later, there's bound to be happy couples here. God, I hate Valentine's." I stuck out my tongue. "Listen, Cait, listen to my advice and don't get mixed up in that love shit. It's only gonna fuck you up in the end."

"I thought you said you were all miserable 'cause you _didn't_ have that," she noticed.

"Shut up," I mumbled. "I'm miserable either way."

I left the inn, slamming the door behind me.

"Bad day?" Someone asked with just the faintest sarcastic undertone.

"Fuck off," I mumbled in response. I looked up at him. "Oh. Uh, Danse, hi. Didn't recognize you there."

I needed a smoke. I really did. Ignoring the judgemental glare he gave me, I pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Before I could as much as light one, I noticed someone else whose sight made my heart skip a beat.

MacCready was headed in our direction, and in his hands, he was holding a bouquet of something that looked like roses.

Flowers. A whole damn bouquet.

"Flowers?" I stammered, pointing at the bouquet. MacCready blushed.

"Oh... Nora! Oh, gosh, this is- They're not, uh... Not for you."

I opened my mouth. _Ouch._

"Listen, I..." He nervously massaged the back of his neck. Clearly, he hadn't expected to stumble upon me and this was even more awkward for him than for me. "I gotta go. This is... I'm sorry."

He walked away without another word. I stared after him, standing motionless in the wind.

I noticed he had dropped one rose. It just lay on the ground there, cast aside. Just like me. Alone.

"You don't deserve that," Danse muttered.

He picked it up and, with a small smile, offered it to me. "Happy Valentine's Day."

I looked away, not accepting that stupid pity flower. "I don't celebrate it."

I shoved him aside and marched off. I needed Piper. No, I needed to be alone. Hell, I didn't know what I needed. _I hate Valentine's Day._ It just reminded me of how I was pathetically single.

I went back to Piper's, but nobody was in, so I just sat down by the door. It was raining. I looked around; everyone was either inside or trying to get inside, mostly at bars and inns. _I hate Valentine's._

"...Mind if I join you in misery?"

I looked up, somewhat surprised to hear MacCready's voice. But he did seem kinda miserable now, though maybe that was just the rain. He looked like a soaked dog - a terrier, maybe.

I moved a few inches to the left. "There's enough room for like three of you here." He didn't like jokes about his size, but I couldn't resist. Hell, I was miserable. I deserved a joke.

I looked down at the ground and for a long time satisfied myself with watching raindrops splattering against the soil.

"Say, those flowers..." I cleared my throat. "Were they for someone specific?"

"Yeah." MacCready looked down. "But I don't think she'd like that. Like _me_."

I didn't care - I was tired and angry and sad and I wasn't fully in control of my emotions.

"You see, and I would," I said. "I don't know who this girl is, but if she wouldn't like you, she's just stupid! Because you are _so_ worth of that, you're kind and generous and smart, and- I like you." I noticed he was uneasy, so I grabbed his hands. "Is that so bad? You gotta admit, there's something between us. There is!"

MacCready wriggled out of my hold.

"Nora... Your husband is dead," he said softly.

"Your wife is dead," I noticed. "Good combo."

"Nora, I understand. I felt like that after Lucy died too. You're fresh after that loss and you're looking for comfort in a new lover, and that's alright, but..." He shook his head ever so slightly. "It's not me. This is wrong."

"You're saying that, but do you really feel that way?"

"Yes. Yes, I do. Look, I'm not trying to give you love advice. That's the last thing I would want. I just... This?" He motioned at the space between us. "This isn't love. This is friendship, albeit a close one. Love is... It's not sudden and quick. It comes slowly, it's... It's just calm. Like you can finally stop fighting. Stop running. Love is calm and steady." He looked at me. "This was never love. I can't deny I did have some feelings for you, and I bet you felt something too, but... It wasn't calm. This fire, this passion... It can _lead_ to love, but it's not. Don't mistake the two."

I gritted my teeth. Calm?

What the hell... If love was calm, then... Why hadn't I felt that with Nate? I had loved him. I had! But our relationship had always been heated and passionate, never calm. I had thought calm would kill romance.

But that would mean I had never truly been in love.

And what was that idiot MacCready suggesting? That I find calmness in the Wasteland? Had he _seen_ this world?

Well, if he was looking for it too, good luck to him.

"Calm, my ass," I muttered as I lit a cigarette. I didn't need that kind of love. I... I didn't really _believe_ in that kind of love.

"I, um... I'm sorry." He narrowed his brows. "But that's what I really think. So no, I'm not sorry."

I took a drag from my cigarette. I didn't say a word as he walked away, casting a glance at me on the way. Well, on the bright side, I wasn't miserable _or_ depressed anymore. Not really. Now, I was pissed.

I went back to the Dugout Inn, sat by the bar next to some the only other pathetically single guy, and got ready to order the hardest spirit they had. I couldn't get drunk, but who cared? It was about manifesting something.

Everyone was all happy and in a relationship, or at least for tonight. Even MacCready had this girl he liked... I had no one.

 _I really, really, really_ _hate Valentine's Day._

"Hi," I said sulkily to that other guy. "So we're the only losers who don't have a date on Valentine's Day."

Instead of responding, Danse ordered two drinks. That was somehow more depressing than if he'd actually said it.

"So I get why I'm the lonely pathetic mess," I said eventually, "but what's a good-looking guy like you doing here without a date, I can't get."

"Maybe I actively didn't want one," he said from over his drink. "I have long since made this decision and I live by it."

"What 'decision'?" I laughed. "No dating? Like this kind of promise seven-year-old boys make to each other? Why would you do that?"

Danse didn't seem amused by my jokes in the least. He took a slug from his glass.

"Because people like you or me are dangerous... Because of what we do. Our lifestyle doesn't work well with a romantic relationship. And unless my partner is a soldier like me, someone able to embrace the risk that comes with this line of work... It's not even worthwhile."

"Don't say that." I suppose that deep inside, I was a romantic who was hurt by those words. "Love is always worthwhile."

"What if I die, Nora? What if she dies? What if someone tries to get to me by getting at her? It's not that hard to imagine." He looked down. "I don't think I would ever be able to elope with a woman and live with the knowledge that one day, she might get in harm's way because of me."

I glanced at him.

"Even if you fall in love?"

"Especially then. There are many people out there who would try to hurt me or you by hurting the ones we love... I don't think I'd be able to put someone in that much danger."

He smiled bitterly. "And I think, Nora, that neither would you."

There was something comforting in those words that I wouldn't fully understand until several hours later. Danse was implying that I wasn't alone because I was unwanted but because I had chosen it. And that made me feel better about myself.

I absently toyed with my glass.

"Hey, Danse?"

"Huh?" He raised his eyebrows in a silent question.

I grinned.

"Out of all the bosses I've had, you're the first to drink with me on Valentine's."

oooOOO***OOOooo

I looked up at the sky and had to take off my eyeglasses as the raindrops fell on them. Dark clouds covered the sky and it was raining. Again. A perfect day for picking a fight with the Institute's finest.

I kicked a rock, sending it tumbling down the cracked concrete of the road. Preston and Cait looked back to see what it was, but no one else really cared. We were all tense in one way or another.

I'd managed to gather more allies for this fight than I'd hoped to, but still I was unsure whether we could make it. If those Coursers were as dangerous as Virgil had made them out to be, it was going to be a problem.

I glared at the ground due to the lack of anything else to focus my anger on.

Dogmeat was walking beside Danse and Cait in the lead, wagging his tail happily - perhaps the only optimistic one of us. Even the usually energetic Piper seemed dimmed somehow, only nodding along as MacCready talked to her. She leaned on his shoulder as they walked, making him put an arm around her. I almost smiled, but seeing them acting like that only made me bitter.

Curie was making us stop every now and then, interested in examining almost every unnatural thing we came across. I was even kind of grateful to her for delaying the upcoming fight.

"Ma'am?"

I blinked, immediately going back into focus. "Codsworth... Hi."

"Are you absolutely sure you're feeling alright?" he asked. "This is all just terrible, ma'am, terrible."

"Yeah, I guess." I shrugged. I pushed my hands deep into my pockets. "It ain't a pretty world out here."

"I wanted to make sure you're holding up alright. What with the husband gone and young Shaun-"

"I'll find him," I cut him off. "I will. You'll see."

He didn't say anything more and for a while the only sound I could hear was the whirring of his motor until he sped up, leaving me alone.

"We should probably be looking for a place to spend the night," Preston noticed. "Or we can just camp alongside the road if we have to."

"What time is it?" Piper asked.

"Nineteen hundred and fifty," Danse answered immediately.

"What the heck?"

"Military time," we said in unison.

"Whose idea was it to leg it all the way from Diamond City to Cambridge, anyway?" MacCready crossed his arms, clearly ticked off. "And why, _why_ through Boston?"

"Because it's the shortest route," I answered absently, staring at the ocean on our right.

"May not be safe, sure," he mocked me half-sarcastically, "but shortest."

"Back off of her," Danse stood in my defense. "She's doing her best."

"Says who?" MacCready snorted.

Danse took a step in his direction "Says I."

I jumped off the road onto the grass, almost mesmerized by the waves on the still water of the bay. I'd never thought about so many things, I realized. There was hope.

"Yeah, who put you in charge, anyway?" MacCready asked angrily.

"Guys," Cait chimed in, "cut it."

I tilted my head, looking at the water. Their argument was almost drowned out, my focus completely on the ocean now.

"I mean, if anyone, it should be Garvey. He's got the highest rank, objectively."

"Can't you two just give it a rest?" Piper exclaimed, exasperated. "It doesn't matter! Nora chose to... Nora?"

They went silent once they realized I wasn't there anymore.

"Hey, uh... Blue? What you doing?" Piper asked uncertainly.

"Wonder what's out there," I said slowly. I fixed my eyes on the horizon, the blurred line when the grey of the sky mixed with the greyish blue of the ocean.

I took a step towards the water. My Pip-Boy began slowly clicking - a radiation warning.

"I mean... Out there," I said quietly. "I just wonder what's going on."

"Nora," said MacCready. His tone was warning, but I just raised a hand.

"It's fine," I answered. I slowly stepped into the water. I narrowed my eyebrows. "There's got to still be people there... Outside America. There's no chance everything was destroyed."

"The last act of the Washington government was returning the offense," Danse said calmly. "If you think about it, the Great War itself lasted only three hours. The evens before are usually referred to as the Sino-American War, but those few hours of nuclear destruction were enough to have their own title."

"Appropriate," Cait noticed quietly.

"After China launched their nuclear missiles, it was all the United States could do to return the attack. It's most likely it looks pretty much like here now."

I didn't move from my place.

"But what about everything in between?!" I exclaimed. I pointed at some unspecified place on the horizon. "Africa, Australia, Europe! There's got to be some civilization there!"

Piper put a hand on my shoulder. I shuddered.

"If there was someone out there, they'd have helped long ago." She let go of me. "Now come on. Let's put some miles between us and the water. That clicking from your Pip-Boy can't mean anything good."

I looked at her. "Yeah. You're right, Pipes." I stole one last look at the Atlantic. "Let's go."

None of us spoke of it ever again.

By night, we'd managed to hole up in an abandoned jewelry store and set up something of a camp. The number of people gathered inside the room made it feel almost home-y. I smiled, looking at them all from my lookout spot by the display window. _These are the moments to cherish. When you're with your friends and no one is dying and no one is shooting at anyone, and no one is accusing anyone of being a synth... This is rare in the Wasteland._

I sighed, silently adding _don't I know it._ So many people had died already, some of them my friends. I hadn't wanted this.

"Okay, what's with that face?" I heard MacCready's voice to my right. I jumped back, startled. He frowned. "Hey... Nora, you alright?"

"Yeah... You just kinda snuck up on me." I laughed, massaging the back of my neck. "I'm a terrible lookout."

"Sorry. I didn't wanna scare you."

"You, uh... wanted to talk or something?" I asked awkwardly.

"Well, yeah. I kind of did. But I'm not sure how this conversation's gonna go, so how 'bout we...?" He nodded his head at the door.

I opened my mouth, a bit surprised. "...Sure thing."

We slipped outside unnoticed and walked a few alleys away. MacCready poked a molerat with his sniper rifle to check if it was dead while I took the opportunity to have a smoke.

He threw the rifle over his shoulder, then looked up at me with a shy smile.

"Nora," he said. "Nora... Nora."

"So we've established that's my name."

"Sorry. I didn't know how to begin. I guess any way is just as good, so here it is: Nora, I like you. I like you a lot and I think you're one of the best things that happened to me in my whole life. But I don't like you in that way... You know."

"Yeah, that's..." I bit my lip. "About yesterday... Listen, let's just forget about that! I mean, I was way out of line and-"

He closed the distance between in us in just one step and kissed me on the lips, making my speech cut off mid-sentence. I dropped the lighted cigarette.

MacCready pulled away after just a second. "I always wondered what it would take to get you to shut up," he said nervously. "I guess that's one way."

I pursed my lips, looking at that puppy face of his through some mist. I took off my glasses and wiped them with my sleeve.

"The thing about me is... I would hate myself if I knew I owed you something." He looked down. "After we talked yesterday, I hated myself. You gave me that cure for Duncan and you gave me your friendship and you gave me your time... You know me. I always pay my debts." He reached into his pocket to fish something out. "So here. I want you to have this.  
"I know it's a weird reward for risking your life," he said as I examined it. "A carved wooden soldier. You were probably expecting some caps or something, but... this one is special. It means a lot to me."

"Did you make it?" I asked softly, careful not to say anything that would offend him.

"Do I look like an artist to you?" He raised both of his eyebrows, then sighed in defeat. "My wife, Lucy, made it for me. She... I told her I was a soldier. That's how we met, she asked where I had learned to shoot so well and... I don't know, I didn't want to tell her that I killed people for a living, so... The soldier story sounded convincing. And later, she made this for me and gave me on the day of our wedding... I never had the heart to tell her the truth."

I gripped the wooden figurine tightly.

"Thank you," I said quietly. "Are you sure you want me to take this?"

But he didn't have to answer. I understood the way he was feeling probably better than anyone else. If he hadn't wanted to keep anything that reminded him of his wife, he wouldn't have kept this. Like I had kept my wedding ring. But finally learning to let go of the past... We both had had to do this.

"I just wanted you to know... You're the best friend I could ever ask for." MacCready smiled. "That's why I wanted you to take it, not Piper, not anyone else. Because I finally understood that things like this need to be passed on and because I think... I think that you'll know when to do it, too." He put a hand on my closed fist with the figurine inside. "This is my moment to pass it on, because... You're simply the right person, Nora."

I nodded my head. I hadn't even noticed when my eyes had gotten all wet. Probably somewhere along the kiss.

"That's... Shit, look at me all sappy." I laughed. "That's absolutely priceless coming from you. Those words you just said. They mean a lot to me."

He raised his eyebrows. "There's a big fight coming tomorrow," he mumbled. "We might die."

"Yeah..." I agreed reluctantly. "So I guess you wanted to be straight with me. Shit, I get that." I put my glasses back on. "Goodnight, MacCready. I'll see you."

He smiled. "Yeah. 'Night, Nora."

oooOOO***OOOooo

"I have had it up to here with canned food," Piper mumbled, throwing out a half-finished can of beans. "Sick of it."

"Well, uh... How about if we win, I make you real, fresh food, every day." MacCready put his hand on hers. "How's that sound?"

Piper smiled back.

"Win what?" Cait chimed in. Honestly, I myself was confused too.

"The war," he answered. "This is- We're going to war. Once we kill this Courser person, there's no turning back, we'll have attacked the Institute."

"Huh." Preston Garvey crossed his arms. "Hadn't thought of it like that."

Me neither, damn it.

Curie took Preston aside to change his bandages, Piper and MacCready began talking about food, and it seemed no one was very stressed about what we were about to do. No one, except for me.

"Nora?" Cait tapped my arm. "I thought you'd like to go over our plan once more."

"Really?"

"Nah, you just looked really miserable back there, thought you'd want some cheerin' up."

I smiled lightly. "Thanks, Cait." I tapped on my Pip-Boy to start it up. "As to the plan... I figure you'd better know, anyway.  
"Coursers are Institute synths designed for special operations on the surface. They get in and our by teleportation, as I saw in Kellogg's memories. To do that sort of thing, their teleporter relays, once activated, generate an infralow sound, inaudible to the human ear. Dogmeat will probably be able to pick up on the frequency, as will be Codsworth and Curie. This is our biggest gamble - that we'll be able to hone in to that. If we will, we'll just have to follow the signal - hopefully, also on a radio frequency. After that, we'll just have to incapacitate him and get our hands on the chip. No trivial matter, according to what Virgil said." I cleared my throat, suddenly aware of all the people listening to me. "...Danse?"

"Of course." He nodded. "Once we will have tracked the signal to its source, we'll split into two or three search parties. The party who finds the Courser first must inform the others and, I cannot stress this enough, _not engage_ in combat. Ideally, I'd like Curie on the team with Nora and MacCready as well as Piper with me, but it's still up for discussion. Any questions?"

"Where do we start?" asked Piper. "I mean that signal's got to be short-range, so we've got to have some area outline."

Danse and I looked at each other.

"Massachusetts Institute of Technology," we said.

"Are you sure about this, ma'am?" Codsworth asked, sounding a bit concerned. "It is a long way from here."

"Oh yeah," I said confidently. "That's where those creeps operate, no question."

"Aside from that, Cambridge is a Brotherhood of Steel outpost. We can resupply just before the op," Danse noticed.

"Same goes for the Minutemen," Garvey added. "We've got our backs secured."

"So for now," said Cait, "the only remainin' matter is dividin' into strike groups." She tilted her head. "I go with Danse."

"No, you'll stay close to MacCready," Danse protested. "A ranged fighter must have backup."

"I thought we were avoidin' combat?"

"Nothing's for granted, Cait," I said. "Backup is good. We're gonna need a plan B and a plan C and probably plans from D to H, too."

Once everyone went off to pack, Piper walked up to me.

"Plans from B to H? Since when are you all organized and careful?" she joked.

"Since when are you holding hands with the guy who just turned me down?" I shot back. I bit my tongue. _Stupid_ _!_ She couldn't have known about that. "Sorry. I just... Sorry, Pipes. I don't know why I'm like this, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I just... God, this is too much!"

She put an arm around me. "I know."

"Too much, Pipes." My voice broke. "Too much."

Piper turned me so I was facing her.

"But you're not giving up," she said firmly. "Because I believe in you and that you will finally be the person who gets down there and exposes what the Institute's really been doing. Because, Nora, someone has to."

I took off my glasses and wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my uniform. "Duly noted."

"You guys going or what?" MacCready asked, coming up to us with Piper's bag in his hand. He noticed my expression and the smile fell from his face. "Oh."

Oh, I _so_ didn't want to be the person who made my friends look like that. No more breaking down because of stupid things.

"We'll be right there," I promised and ran off to get my backpack.

From then on, we went down the road which was vaguely familiar to me; through Boston, crossed the river and entered Cambridge. This was the same way I'd gone in my first days out of the Vault, just after meeting Preston but before meeting Danse.

Hell, I hadn't realized how far back I went with those two. Practically my whole life in the Commonwealth.

And here we were together, just before this battle that would change our lives forever, no matter how it went.

"So this was the best university back in your day?" Cait put her hands on her hips, critically eyeing the building that had once been white.

"One of, yeah," I answered. "Half the people in Cambridge live in Cambridge because of the M.I.T."

"Yeah, well, for me it'll always be where the Institute comes from," Piper said. "No good associations."

"So what now?" Garvey asked. "Because I don't hear anything. Anyone has a radio?"

I quickly disconnected the headset from my Pip-Boy and browsed all the radio frequencies that were broadcasting something. Diamond City Radio, Classical Radio, the usual... As well as a low beeping noise on an unnamed frequency.

"This is it," Danse said, echoing my thoughts perfectly.

"Why so sure?" MacCready asked.

"Because the Brotherhood of Steel uses a very similar sound in their distress beacons, I said. I looked down, remembering how we'd come to meet. "...I'm sure, too."

It took us some time of going back and forth in several directions until we found one that led to the signal increasing pitch and pace. From then on, it became a little easier. Aside from, of course, the occasional raider attack. With MacCready on our side though, we had pretty good chances of taking them down before they could notice us. The guy was the best shot I'd ever seen.

"Gunners," he whispered suddenly, completely pale. "We're gonna have to take on them."

I looked at him, concerned. I knew he had used to work with the Gunners, but I hadn't expected that amount of fear.

"RJ, are you sure you're alright?" Piper asked. He only nodded his head, but he didn't look at us. She put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you _sure_?"

"I'm fine."

Maybe if we'd been a smaller group, we'd have managed to sneak past them. But it was what it was and we had to engage in combat with them. It wasn't all bad - I kept close to Curie and Dogmeat, letting the guys take care of the fighting per se. It was easier this way, really.

"Hold up," I said at some point. The signal I was listening to had become much clearer recently, and now it was almost one note, much like the Brotherhood distress beacons. We were close. "It's gotta be that building over there," I pointed with a finger, "come on."

"For the record," Preston Garvey commented while we walked to the entrance, "I don't like this."

"The Courser's in there," I said.

"Yeah, so's a whole army of Gunners," added MacCready. "This here is the Greenetech Genetics building, one of their favourite hideouts."

"I don't _care_ ," I said firmly, my hand already on the door. "We're going in. This is so far our best chance of getting to those creeps at the Institute and showing them a bit of justice." I pushed the doors open. "I'm not backing out."

We entered the lobby warily, expecting heavy fire. Not as such - all the Gunners in the room were dead already, though I could hear some shouts and nearing footsteps from the hall up ahead.

"So I'm guessing our synth friend has been here," Piper said. "Taking out all those mercs? I don't like our odds against that."

Aside from that larger hallway ahead, there was also a staircase to the left.

"This is where we split up," I guessed.

Danse reloaded his laser rifle. "MacCready? I want you to take Nora, Curie and Cait with you. Keep them safe."

"You got it, boss." MacCready tipped his hat. He frowned. "Hey, uh, Piper? I just..."

She quickly kissed him on the cheek.

"Go get 'em," she said.

The footsteps were definitely close now.

"Alright, go, go!" Preston shouted. "It's time!"

I grabbed my hunting rifle and made for the stairs, the rest of my group following me not far behind. The others would have to face combat much sooner, but they'd probably be on the better track... _Shit, stop it, Nora. No time for overanalyzing._

We burst through a door into the staircase. There was a single Gunner standing guard there, and she seemed shocked to see four heavily armed intruders. She reached for her gun, but Cait kicked it out of her hands and knocked her out with a knee to the stomach and a knife to the nape.

The rest of us watched, half impressed and half scared.

Cait stopped, panting after both the run and the fight. All of us took this moment to freshen up. I reached for my water canteen and passed it to MacCready, who in turn was reloading his sniper rifle. Cait was preparing to inject something rather questionable into her vein.

"I would suggest against using psychoactive substances in these conditions," Curie warned her. "They might turn our rather... I believe the word is harmful."

Cait gritted her teeth. "Bugger off, robot. I tried to get this cured. I can't. You know a place where they're dealin' with this kind of shite? Then don't comment."

"Actually, aside from Vault 81, I'm aware of four other Vaults with medical equipment located in the area of the Commonwealth."

I stopped. "You're kidding?"

"I believe Vault 96 would be appropriate? It was designed to hold a population of former addicts."

Cait dropped the Psycho dispenser to the ground. "Holy hell," she said slowly. "This is it! Nora, it's gotta be it! How long have we been waitin' for an info like this?!"

"Are you sure? Those Vaults aren't the nicest of places," MacCready muttered. "I'd know. I spent _years_ living next to one of them."

"But dontcha see?" Cait was happier than I'd seen her in months. "This is my chance to finally get my life straight! If it works, I'd be free. Free, Nora. Y'know what it feels like? Cos I don't remember anymore."

I couldn't fight that argument. I promised her it would be the next thing we did. Besides, I really wanted to help Cait. Not just because I owed her something, but because she had turned out to be one of my best friends.

"Come on," I said, putting the canteen back into its holster on my belt. "Those guys are way ahead of us, I'm sure."

We made our way to the next floor, where we found even more bodies, these ones definitely very recently killed. We were on the right track.

 _"The Courser is now on the third floor,"_ came a voice from the intercom. I stopped to listen. _"Everyone who's not fighting right now, haul your ass to floor three! Shit. Seems he's got backup. Floor two, attack on sight! Any stranger is assumed Institute assassin... Hey! What the-"_

There was a muffled groan.

 _"Shit. Is this on?"_ This voice was undoubtedly Piper Wright _. "How do I turn it off? Danse,_ _gimmie_ _a hand-"_

The intercom system turned off with a click.

"Well, they're alive at least," MacCready noticed.

"And the Courser's on the third floor," I added. "That's more important!"

I ran back to the stairs and the others had no choice but to follow me. I ran up to the third floor, taking two steps at a time. Vengeance. Killing Kellogg hadn't done it for me, so maybe this time would make me feel better.

Two Gunners, one of them pressing his hand to a bleeding wound in his abdomen, took the turn into my hallway. They looked at me, surprised, until one of them fell, hit in the chest by a sniper behind me. I packed a few bullets in the other until he too lay dead.

"Thanks, Mac," I said quickly, pushing another clip of bullets into my rifle.

"No problem."

"I wonder if this Courser is a synthetic from flesh and blood," Curie said. "This combination of biology and technology is a most fascinating idea!"

I gave her an askew look, but I didn't comment. There was gunfire ahead of us, surely where the Gunners were fighting the Courser. Gunshots, shouts, and screams of pain filled the air. I heard a fragmentation grenade explode, but still the fighting continued on. Either the Gunner'd missed or the Courser was seriously undefeated.

We peeked round the corner. The Courser stood right out among the quasimilitary Gunners - he was a tall, bulky man with pale skin and dark hair pulled into a short ponytail. He was wearing a long grey coat from something that looked like leather, but I was sure it was a material specially designed for combat protection. His only weapon was an energy rifle similarly built to my laser pistol.

"Okay, _that's_ our enemy."

I drew my laser pistol and the revolver. I felt more comfortable handling two pistols than a rifle. I nodded at Cait, who gripped her shotgun more tightly. I noticed a bayonet on the hull, probably for more bash damage. Smart, it fit her fighting style.

"We should head back now," MacCready said. "Mission accomplished, we've found the Courser. But now we've gotta go get the others before we get attacked too."

I tilted my head. "Come on, I think we can take him."

"He murdered fifty Gunners in like ten minutes," he pointed out. "We can't! Besides, this wasn't the plan. Danse said we have to-"

"MacCready, please," I said. "This is our best chance! The Gunners are busy with the Courser, the Courser is busy with the Gunners, we're like a third side in this battle! MacCready, honey, there _won't_ be another chance like this. There just won't. He might teleport away at any moment, we can't risk it just because we were scared! I'm totally sure we can handle him! What's it to us?"

"She's right!" Cait said eagerly. "I'm with Nora. We should all attack."

"I don't know..." MacCready didn't seem convinced. "Curie?"

"My programming is against making decisions that may impact human life," she said.

Dogmeat dropped his ears with a whine. MacCready had a similar expression, but he didn't protest any more, even as we joined the fighting.

The Gunners didn't pay us much mind as long as we attacked the Courser, too. In fact, I think they were glad for this sudden addition of allies - for the moment, we were on the same side. The Courser, however, was only one and yet he was winning.

I had no idea what that coat of his was made of, but it clearly did more than just look good. It deflected bullets easily as well as my combat armor! Thanks to that, almost any shot we took was in vain as none even penetrated the material.

The Gunners were out first - all of them taken out by the Courser. With a cold shiver down my back, I realized we were next in line.

"Duck!" I screamed when the fire from the Courser's energy rifled focused on the spot me and Cait had taken. I rolled to the right, she jumped to the left.

Curie tried attacking with her flamer, but it didn't seem nearly as effective against synths as against Deathclaws.

MacCready growled a swearword, pressing his hand to his other shoulder where a dark stain was growing on his clothes. He pressed himself against the nearest wall, breathing through gritted teeth. He was clearly in a lot of pain right now. To be honest, so was I - I had gotten singed by the laser, too, and it hurt like hell. Cait wasn't doing good. Curie wasn't doing good. None of us were doing good.

I realized the result of this fight had been decided from the very beginning. We hadn't even had a chance in the first place. Now, we were taking heavy damage because of that.

"Damn it," I growled, and took the opportunity of the Courser reloading his weapon to attack. None of my bullets did any harm to the synth, none!

Dogmeat jumped at the Courser with bared teeth, but was kicked away before he could even bite on. This wasn't good. This wasn't good. Curie moved away from MacCready, whom she had been shielding as she tended to his wound. He flexed his muscles with a pained expression, but picked up his sniper rifle nonetheless.

I yelped in pain, throwing my laser pistol away when I got hit in my left hand. God damn it!

The Courser also mumbled a swear as he went to inject his weapon with more ammo. Cait immediately broke into a run, closing the distance in a matter of seconds and attacking first with the bayonet and then the combat knife. She didn't get to really inflict any damage though, as the Courser grabbed her arm before the first blade managed to even scratch him. He twisted her arm so that she dropped the shotgun with a cry of pain.

I felt something like a knot in my stomach, like a feeling I should intervene. I braced myself for a run. MacCready stood by me, his face very pale for some reason.

Cait tried to break free from the synth's hold on her, especially as he took the knife from her and prepared to strike. She looked straight at me, her eyes glimmering with what could only be fear.

And, in an instant, that flicker of life died out.

"No!" I screamed, forgetting anything else that was going on, that could happen, that I was doing - I just threw myself at the Courser, not caring that I didn't even have a weapon on me. Tears streamed from my eyes. "Son of a bitch! I'll fucking kill-!"

Someone grabbed my arm, preventing me from going forward.

"What the hell?!" I exclaimed, trying to break free of MacCready's grasp on me. "Let me _go!_ What are you doing?!"

"Nora!" He grabbed me even tighter when I continued to struggle.

"No, stop! I can- I can still help her! LET GO OF ME!" I kicked him, punched him, screamed all the profanities that came to my mind, but he didn't waver.

MacCready pushed me to the ground.

"No way we're losing _both_ of you!" he exclaimed. "You stay put!"

I opened my mouth, unable to make a sound, staring ahead. The Courser staggered after another shot from MacCready's rifle pierced his neck. I saw, as if through haze, my friend reloading and shooting over and over again. Dogmeat bit on my jacket, trying to pull me away. I didn't know what was going on... It all just happened too fast - and yet I felt as if time was going slower. The Courser said something, but I didn't know what. I didn't care. MacCready's tears fell down his nose and splattered on my arm, but he didn't stop shooting. There was a flash and something like a lightning bolt. After it was over, the Courser was gone.

"No." I sucked in a breath, unable to believe it. We'd lost. He'd gotten away.

"Nora!" MacCready grabbed my arm, pulling me up to my feet. "Come on!" He pulled me along with him.

"No, wait- What about Cait?!" I tried to protest.

"The Gunners are gonna be here any minute and I'm not leaving you behind!"

We ran. We ran and we ran and we ran, and I lost any feeling in my legs, but MacCready made sure I didn't fall behind. True enough, the Gunners soon began catching up to us and we had to try avoiding their attacks as well as getting away. Pursuit was right on us! Curie made good use of her flamethrower now, but it wasn't in any way comforting - especially the sound of metal hitting metal as they assaulted her with, it seemed, everything they had.

I wanted to stay, help, fight back, but at the same time, I also had a self-preservation instinct which screamed at me to run away. I stood in place, torn between two equally hopeless decisions. MacCready yanked me by my jacket, pulling me out of my indecision.

In a wild run for life itself, we took another corner and ended up in the hall, only to find the rest of our party there. Unable to halt in time, I ran straight into Piper's arms, making her waver. Incidentally, that worked out rather well for me. Piper was definitely the closest to me out of everyone in that room, and having her there with me was suddenly comforting.

"Nora?" Preston Garvey exclaimed, startled.

"RJ?" Piper added, letting go of me once she figured out I could stand on my own.

"We need to go," MacCready said quickly, "there's no time!"

Whining desperately, Dogmeat ran up to us, limping. The Gunners and Curie weren't far behind him, and I found myself in the middle of a battle once again.

"We must _go_ ," MacCready pointed out. He ran to the door and pushed it open. "Now!"

Danse picked up Dogmeat and pushed him into my arms. I stared ahead, surprised, as everyone made their way to the exit. What was this...? Were we really running away?

Gradually, it came to me that we'd failed. I'd failed.

Danse, waiting for the last of us to get out safely, practically pushed me outside. After that, it was like a blur. Even more running. I think I was crying, but those tears were lost in Dogmeat's fur. With each step, he seemed heavier.

We eventually reached an intersection where we stopped to catch our breath. I had no idea where we were.

"Oh my God," Piper said, noticing MacCready was wounded. She narrowed her brows. "What the hell happened to you guys?"

"You look like you've been through hell," Preston added. "What did you do?"

Danse looked around, probably for the first time doing a headcount of our team. He looked at me in a way that made my heart just break.

"Where's Cait?" he asked.

I closed my eyes. "I..."

"The Courser... and the Gunners..." MacCready took off his hat despite the rain. "We just... It just..."

The rest of them stared at us with wide eyes, unbelieving. I didn't blame them for being surprised. I didn't blame them. I didn't. I blamed myself.

"We're going back," Danse said firmly. We put his power armor helmet back on. "We're going to the Castle. We've got wounded."

 _He didn't say anything..._ I hung my head, wanting it all to be a dream. As always, it wasn't.

oooOOO***OOOooo

I numbly stared at the fire I was sitting by. I had taken off my blood-stained armor and my Brotherhood uniform, now dressed in my old, civilian, clothes. I had a blanket over my shoulders, courtesy of one of the Minutemen. I hadn't even caught his name. I should have.

MacCready coughed and Piper looked at him with concern. He only pulled his duster coat tighter around his already thin frame. He looked down and didn't look up.

"Are you... okay?" I asked softly.

"It's not like that," he whispered. "It's just that... It's stupid. I just... I miss Lucy." He smiled, but it was a smile full of pain, full of sorrow. "She was always a shoulder to lean on, no matter how bad things got. It gave me the courage to press on... To never give up. When she died, I thought that feeling was gone forever. But you guys..."

I realized too late that there were tears in his eyes. He covered his mouth with his hand.

"You're just everything," he whispered.

As uncomfortable as this is, I have to admit that I had no idea how to react at that moment. I didn't know what to say, what to do. And that was the moment when Piper turned out to be the more decent human being than me, because she didn't say a word and simply hugged him. I didn't know what to do, so I just stood there and watched, and felt completely unneeded.

Piper pulled away from the hug, wiped MacCready's tears with the sleeve of her coat, smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"I understand," she said simply and, without a word, he hugged her tightly.

That made me feel even worse, because _I_ didn't understand. I just knew that his wife was dead, and that my husband was dead, and that Cait was dead too, and that _nothing_ was ever going to be alright, and that I could only wish I had someone who could hug me the way she was hugging him, and that, somehow, I was to blame.

I felt, simply, like an intruder. So I quietly slipped outside, trying very hard not to think about Cait and how she had wanted to cure her drug addiction and how she had been truly happy only during those two months with us, those last two months of her life...

I went to talk to Preston, but he barely spoke a word. It seemed to me he was as personally touched by this as me. We sat in silence for what felt like hours, both of us quietly mourning. That did _not_ make me feel any better. Piper and MacCready were clearly finding comfort in each other, which, ridiculously, made me feel _bad_ rather than good, Preston didn't want to talk, Cait was gone, Dogmeat was nowhere to be seen... All in all, I had only one person who I would understand me.

I knocked on the door to Danse's room, but there was no answer. I knocked again and, seeing he wouldn't let me in, I just walked inside.

The lights were out, aside from a small oil lamp on the table. Danse was putting apart a transistor radio - very angrily, judging from the sounds. He stopped to look at me and hing his head.

"Get out," he said flatly. "Just go away."

"Danse, you can't blame yourself." I took a step in his direction. "It wasn't your fault."

Danse gritted his teeth. "You're damn right it wasn't. It was yours."

I took a step back.

"Don't even bother," he said quietly. "You should have listened to me in the first place. But you can't change what you did, and no amount of regret is going to take that girl's life off of your conscience." He stood up and looked at me, no emotion at all. "I do not resent you because of that, and neither will I judge you. But I will remember it for all times to come."

I gritted my teeth and ran out of the room. Tears were running down my cheeks, but outside? At least I could hide them in the rain. I wouldn't cry. I wouldn't. If I were ever to accept all consequences of all my actions, I would have to... Have to know I had no regrets.

Except I had a hundred too many regrets.

I looked around the courtyard of the Castle and I wasn't surprised to see I wasn't alone.

"It's not your fault," I said. "It's not, so you have no reason to cry over it."

"It's the rain."

"That's not what raindrops look like," I said. "I'm not stupid, MacCready."

He hung his head.

"Yeah. I guess."

"Crying in the rain? It's a sign of strength, not weakness. It's like... You want to hide your tears, but in plain sight. You're not afraid of shedding them." I gave him a shy smile. "You don't always have to be strong and manly. It's okay to cry."

"Danse doesn't do it."

I ran a hand through my hair. "Well, _he_ is dead inside, so..."

MacCready laughed a bit. "He is, isn't he."

"But you? I'm pretty sure there's still some life left in there." I poked his chest. "Right here. Am I right or what?"

He shook his head.

"You are."

I bit my lip. "Please hug me."

He did, and I buried my face deep into his chest and the already wet clothes. The scent was musky and heavy, but I was happy to be surrounded by it. I wanted to cry, but no tears came out of my eyes.

"I should have listened to you," I whispered. "No one would have got hurt."

MacCready pulled his arms tighter around me.

"I know."

And that, somehow, broke my heart. Not Piper's anger and hurtful words, not Danse's moral lectures and his playing on my conscience... No. It was that simple 'I know' that made me fully break down.

I was a murderer. I had led Cait to her death.

And there was no excuse.

 **Level up.  
** **New perk: Toughness - gain +5% to** **your overall damage treshold.**


	24. Weight of Lives

**Chapter Twenty-Two  
** **Weight of Lives**

* * *

On October 23, 2287, I woke up in Vault 111 after 110 years of cryogenic sleep. I entered a world that was cruel, unforgiving, inhospitable, dangerous, and quite often deadly. In that world, that terrible, barren wasteland where people killed each other like it was nothing, where everything was twisted into some horrendous reflection of itself, I managed to find some sparks of good.

I found people who genuinely cared for others, people who weren't afraid of standing up for what they believed in. People who managed to cling on to their humanity even when they had it taken from them. People who showed more compassion and kindness than it was sensible in the Wasteland. Those people soon became my closest friends.

I got into a stupid mindset of believing that as long as I wanted something, I'd be able to do it. That even if the Institute was as technologically advanced and dangerous as they were made out to be, I could tangle with them with no consequences. That my own quick wit and the aid of a few friends would be enough to go against anything the world would throw at us.

I was wrong.

All this time, I had been wrong, and, in the end, it cost one of them their life. Not me, not someone who actually deserved to die, but Cait. Cait who had had nothing but misery all her life. And just when a light appeared on the horizon, a hope of getting her better... It was taken, just like that.

Because of me.

It came as no surprise, neither to myself nor others, that after something like that, I would need to distance myself from what I'd done. After all, running away was all I had ever been good at.

Couldn't even save a teenaged girl.

I needed someplace I could run away to and not have to face the consequences. I needed a refuge.

I found it in the old Red Rocket truck stop near Sanctuary Hills, the place where I had found Dogmeat. It was near my old home, but not close enough that I could see it. Halfway between Sanctuary Hills and Concord, actually. Far from Boston - a week's trek, maybe. A few days if you were in a hurry.

I wasn't.

It took me a few days to clean up most of the junk; some of it I scrapped for parts to build new things, some of it I just stored away. The new things were what really mattered, anyway.

I had never been very skilled with crafting, but I managed to build something that resembled a door and put it in the empty spot in the wall. From then on, it was easier: I had to cut down a few trees (not that they hadn't been dead already) t build myself a desk, chair, and a bedframe. The mattress I dragged from Concord. Day by day, through hard work, I made this place into something I had thought I'd never have again: a home. My sanctuary away from Sanctuary, a place that not even my friends knew about.

I brought a lot of pre-War stuff back to life, too including a radio, a coffeemaker, and even a television set. (Although the last one I decided to throw out when I realized it only displayed white noise and a 'please stand by' now.) I also began working on something else, something I hoped I would be able to pass on... I just needed to reunite with my friends.

But I wasn't ready for that yet. I hadn't really said goodbye and maybe... Maybe it was the time to do that. Time to leave my old life behind me.

I just needed a push.

I was working on my combat armor when someone knocked on the door. It had been several days (eight? nine? It was February 27th, but I had no idea when I had come here) since I had had any human interaction other than listening to the radio, so at first, I didn't know what do.

I wiped the grease off my hands on my mechanic's overalls and simply went to answer the door.

"Oh." I looked down at my dirt-stained boots. "It's _you._ "

"Told you she'd be here," Piper said simply.

I looked over her shoulder to see what crowd of people she'd brought to track me down, but I was relieved to only see Danse dressed in a set of heavy combat armor and Dogmeat, surprisingly also wearing armor. I'd seen raiders' attack dogs in dog armor before, but the battle harness on Dogmeat was unlike anything I'd seen before. I wondered where they'd gotten it...

Of course, this is me: focus on the dog armor in a situation like this. I really had more important things on mind.

"How did you find me?" I asked, trying not to sound too angry.

Danse only nodded at Dogmeat, who was biting on a tire. I frowned at the dog.

"Traitor," I muttered.

Piper nudged Danse's side. He cleared his throat.

"Look, Nora... I didn't mean to hurt you. It's my fault, entirely my fault. Expecting you to take the full blame for Cait's death when clearly you already blamed yourself was... unfair. I apologize for that."

I couldn't fight a smile. "It must have hurt to say that," I noticed, fully aware what that did to his pride.

Danse pursed his lips. "A little, yes." He sighed. "The thing is, Nora, I know that you need more time than us to cope with certain events, and I fully respect your right to do so alone, but..."

Piper stepped forward. "Please don't do it alone," she finished for him. "If you want us to slow down, we will. If you need us to stop, we will. But don't- Please don't go away. We're not your enemies, Nora. You know that."

I looked down.

"You want me to come back, don't you," I said.

"If you don't feel up to it just yet-"

"No, Danse, it's..." I clenched my fists. "It's fine. I _will_ fight. I want to fight. The Institute have it coming." I looked him in the eyes - for the first time since he'd arrived. "I just need to do a few things before we go. One more place I have to visit. I just... I gave a few promises that I want to fulfill before I..." _Before I die_. I felt a lump in my throat. "Will you come with me?"

"Of course." Piper gave me a reassuring smile.

Danse made an effort not to look at me. "Even to the end of the line."

oooOOO***OOOooo

And so, I was finally back here.

Home.

Five months had passed since I had left Vault 111, but I hadn't forgotten. This was finally my chance to begin fulfilling all the promises I had given.

"Is this..." Danse began, but he didn't have to finish.

"Yes," I answered shortly. I didn't want any of us to say it aloud. That life was over now, and I was a different person.

"Oh."

No more words were needed.

There was a skeleton of a long-dead Vault-Tec employee bent over the control panel. I pushed it aside. I pressed the button and, slowly, the elevator rode up to the surface.

"It's the only Vault without stairs," Piper noticed with a hint of irony in her voice. I glowered at her. "...Sorry."

I felt like in a dream, walking the same halls I'd hoped never to see again. Time didn't seem to pass here, everything was left untouched since the day I'd left.

"Gosh, is it cold in here," Piper complained. She looked at me. "Oh, this must be killing you," she realized.

I shrugged. I pushed the control button to the nearest door, the door to the Overseer's room. I now stopped to check everything else I'd ignored back then - the terminal entries, the story of why the Institute was able to break in, the wonderfully radiation-free water I used to fill all my empty Nuka-Cola bottles, the small ammunition cabinet, everything. My friends decided to fan out, too. Piper was very interested in almost everything, while Danse seemed to be drawn to the science behind it all.

I tapped my nails on the glass panel of the display case with that custom rifle inside, that 'cryolator'. This had been out of my reach before, but now it was only a few bobby pins away. I was angry at the lock after the third attempt, but I didn't give up. Eventually, it clicked and turned, finally granting me access to the gun inside.

"It uses compressed nitrogen as ammunition, letting you to practically freeze your opponents to death," I said. "One of a kind, actually. Seems 'cryotechnology' was the theme of Vault 111."

"I don't know," Piper said, uncomfortable, "maybe we should leave it. It's a dangerous weapon."

"Of course it's dangerous. Who needs a safe weapon?" Danse pointed out.

No one could argue with that.

Even the cryogenic array was just as I remembered it: twenty man-sized pods, each holding the frozen carcass of some poor Sanctuary Hills resident, one of them open and empty, another open but not empty.

"And there are how many...?" Piper whispered. I felt Dogmeat brushing against my leg - clearly the cold was getting at him, too.

"Twenty people in this chamber. Twenty in the second one and twenty in the third. Add to that roughly forty of the staff - scientists, security guards, engineers... Over a hundred people, dead." I crouched to pet Dogmeat properly. "Only two survivors. A woman and an infant boy."

"Oh, Blue, I'm so-"

"No, don't do that." I interrupted her mid-sentence. "All I want now is to do these people one last favour. One act of humanity."

Because there had always been one thing in particular about the Wasteland that made me think it really sad. I had noticed it after my fight with Kellogg, I had noticed it after all that business in Goodneighbor, I had noticed it after my first battle as a Brotherhood soldier, and most of all, I had noticed it after we lost Cait.

No one buried the dead anymore.

Carrying all those bodies all the way to the surface wasn't maybe the nicest of tasks, but I felt a moral obligation. Danse and Piper? Well, they'd come with me.

I took it on myself to take those from Cryo Chamber B - my neighbors, friends... My husband. I knew I could have one of my friends do it, but I wanted to retain my strength. I could do this.

I decided to start with the open pod and that's when I realized I wouldn't be able to do it. All that cold preserved a body in a way that nothing else could, making him look exactly like he had on the day of his death.

"Nate..." I whispered. This was almost too hard. I narrowed my eyes. Hell no.

I grabbed him and tried to drag out of the pod when something fell out of his pocket. I didn't want to look at it. What was I hoping it would be? Some kind of message from beyond the grave? A suicide letter, maybe? He hadn't known he would die.

I picked up the item. It was a holotape, but when I inserted it into my Pip-Boy, it only let me download the contents onto the hard drive. I did that and threw the tape itself away.

A text file, labeled 10-13-2077.

 _Rough draft of the Veteran's Day speech. God knows why I let Nora talk me into that._

 _When my_ _great-great-grandfather_ _was serving in the army in 1945, he longed for the end of the war. It eventually happened - when the United States dropped atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki._

 _But then, we took a turn history hadn't expected. We learned to use atomic energy and harness its full potential. We enjoyed a century of luxury - technological development, good social state, economy flourishing... But that_ _consumptionist_ _way of life lead to us using up the very resources that ensured it. Before we knew it, we were at war again._

 _Note to self: check if_ _'consumptionist'_ _is a word._

 _Now, in 2077, I can only look back on that and think that history likes to repeat itself, and that some things never change._

 _Note to self: Not strong enough. Maybe focus on safety and patriotism?_

 _Note to self: Gotta focus more on family._

I pursed my lips before eventually deleting the file from my Pip-Boy.

I looked at the room full of people who deserved to be buried properly, not locked away in some underground frozen crypt.

I had work to do.

oooOOO***OOOooo

Well, I had had enough digging for a lifetime. We'd contemplated cremation, but it wouldn't have felt right. In the end, we settled for picket fence planks instead of gravestones and joint graves for family members... I suppose it was my way of compensating for not giving Cait a proper service. Looking at Piper's face, I thought similar thoughts were running through her head at the moment. Danse remained, as always, a mystery.

After making me swear to all the gods I believed in and didn't believe in that I would not run off again, Piper left us there with the last few details to fix while she left for Diamond City. We hoped to meet her along the way, but she was in a hurry. Apparently, something she'd heard on the radio.

I looked and looked for Danse until I found him looking through a safe in one of the half-collapsed houses.

"Your neighbor was a drug dealer, were you aware of that?" he asked in a monotone. "You could probably make good caps from selling all of this... Though I don't like the idea of popularizing this kind of thing, it's always a way to earn money..." He looked up at me. "You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah, actually." I placed the cryolator on the desk in front of me. "I was wondering if it's possible to take this apart and build another weapon which works on the same technology."

"It certainly is," he said, absently turning the gun in his hands.

"Alright. But is it, like, within your abilities? Can you do that?"

"I think I _would_... Yes, it would take some time, but I'm rather confident I'd be able to do it."

I tried to smile, but it somehow didn't work.

"Great. Could you please mod this onto my sniper rifle? I would be more than grateful."

"Your sniper rifle? You don't even use your sniper rif-"

" _Danse_."

"...Yes. Of- Of course, I'll do it."

"And have you got the marker?" I asked.

"Yes." He stood up and handed me a handful of red material. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"...Doesn't really matter. I'd be nice to have someone beside me."

We walked up the hill again, to where the new graveyard was situated. I took time to carefully wrap a strip of red cloth against each of the planks. Eventually, the whole graveyard was dressed in ribbons that gently fluttered when the wind rose.

I looked at that with almost no feelings, keeping them all just under the surface. I couldn't just break down in front of my CO like that, could I? Danse had seen me cry enough times as it was.

"Could we... stay here for a few days?" I asked quietly.

"Asking this is _wrong_ \- the answer should be obvious." He put his hand on my shoulder. "Take as much time as you need, soldier."

He walked away, leaving me completely alone by the grave of the last thing that had connected me to my old life.

As long as I knew he was within earshot, I didn't react. Then, I let the tears that burned my eyes finally flow down my cheeks. At first, it was completely silent, but after a short while, I was sobbing uncontrollably. This hystericalness lasted surprisingly shortly, but I didn't stop crying even then.

I fell to my knees.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "Shaun's gone. I couldn't find him." I paused and for a moment, the only audible sound was the distant howling of the wind. "I promised I would, but... it's not possible." I closed my eyes. "I'm a failure."

My tears fell down onto the ground, the fresh dirt of the grave we had dug and onto my knees and my hands. I was crying for everything that was gone. For all the people who had died in the atomic blasts and during the War, for everything that people like Danse or Piper would never experience. For the things I had once taken for granted. For peace, safety, family, and patriotism.

And those were the last tears I would ever shed for those things. That life was over now, and I was a different person.

Only one thing remained for me to take care of and I would finally let go and move on.

oooOOO***OOOooo

I spilled the last gallon of petrol onto the floor of what had used to be my living room. Now the whole place was wet with flammable oil. I dragged the last six empty canisters outside, looking at the house with disdain. Time to die, past.

"Nora!" Danse exclaimed. He wasn't even wearing his power armor, but when he grabbed me, his grip was so strong that I almost couldn't move. "What the hell are you doing?!"

I was fully aware that I didn't look like I was in my right mind. Hell, maybe I even wasn't at the moment, but it wasn't his place to stop me.

I glared at him, daring him to argue. He must have noticed the way I was looking at him, because a faint spark of fear appeared within his dark brown eyes. He let go of me.

"We're burning down this place," I said firmly. "To the ground."

Now, I was sure he was scared of me - or _for_ me, I couldn't tell. But he didn't know. He didn't know how badly I needed to do this, to know for sure that I had nothing to return to. How terrible it was to know that everything I had loved had been gone for two centuries and yet... not all of it. I wouldn't live my new life if ghosts of the old one kept coming back. I would never find a boyfriend, I would never settle down, I would never have my peace... All those things I had been trying so hard to find during those last six months. The very _existence_ of Sanctuary Hills was blocking them from my life.

Danse looked at me and I was sure he saw the despair. His eyes darkened.

"If this is going to help you," he said quietly as he pulled out a flip lighter and hesitantly ignited it. He looked at me. "Then it's a good thing."

He threw it on the front porch of the house.

We stood beside in each other in complete silence, watching the flames consume the old structure of the house. Nothing would be left. Just ashes.

I cuddled into Danse's side when it got colder, but I didn't ask to go inside. I wanted to watch this. I _needed_ to. I needed to see the completion of the destruction that had begun two hundred years earlier, I needed to see with my own eyes that it was over. That I had nothing to come back to.

That no one would miss me when I went.

Cait was gone because of me. But I _would_ avenge her, even if it was the last thing I did. I just had to say goodbye.

"Danse? I've seen enough," I said quietly. "Let's just go."

We could burn the whole town to the ground, actually. New things could only be built on the ashes of the past, after all. But... No, that would be wrong. We just left it as it was.

It was sunset when we arrived back at the truck stop. Dogmeat found a place for himself in the small dog bed I had sawn from old sleeping bags, but the two of us didn't go to sleep just yet. I made sure of that.

"Danse?" I called out softly.

I turned the wrapped present in my hands. Was I really doing this...? I narrowed my brows. _Yes_. Of course I was.

I carefully set it on the table.

"What's... the occasion?" He asked unsurely.

"It's complicated," I answered. "Because you see, you don't have a birthday - and even if you did, I'm not sure either of us would live long enough to celebrate it, and you've just done so much for me during those last few months that I..." I realized that I was rambling. "It's our... anniversary. Six months - since we first met, I mean. I... You have no idea how important it was, everything you've done for me." I laughed nervously. "So I guess this is my way of saying thank you."

"You didn't have to," Danse said quietly. "Do this for me, I mean."

"Oh, cut it. It was a nice break from the usual shooting and being shot at, and I did it partially for myself as well. Anyway..." I gave him an encouraging smile. "Maybe it's used, but... I've given it a lot of thought lately and I think you'll make a better use of it." I handed him the gift. "There. Happy birthday."

He took it into his hands carefully, as if afraid of damaging the wrapping. (The 'wrapping' was a patchwork of old posters, the nearest thing to decorative paper I could find in the Wasteland.) After a moment of contemplation, he slowly pulled the ribbon and finally revealed my old Pip-Boy. Actually, not 'old'. I had modified it a bit. I knew his favorite color was orange, so I had painted the all the buttons in that color - it actually contrasted with the dark grey paint job nicely. The Brotherhood of Steel emblem had been embossed onto the surface for over two weeks, but I had polished it to a shine last night, so it looked almost brand new. Replacing the padding had been easy too.

The perfect gift for someone like him.

Danse just stared ahead in what looked like awe.

"Are you sure?" He asked hesitantly. "This has a huge historical and sentimental value. Not to mention how tactically advantageous it can be in combat..."

I put my hand on his forearm. "That's exactly why I'm trusting _you_ with this."

 _Paladin Danse, check. Four more to go._

I would finish this.

oooOOO***OOOooo

I think it was by miracle that I managed to convince Danse to let me take a little detour on our way to DC. Apparently, everyone now treated me like some flight risk. Well, I certainly wouldn't run away now. That time was over.

"Hi there!" I grinned widely. "Long time no see, eh?"

Fahrenheit offered me her most tired look. "It's been two weeks."

I didn't let that spoil my cheerful attitude.

"I have this thing..." I nervously tapped my fingers on the box I was holding. This one wasn't gift-wrapped. Instead, I'd used an old American flag I'd found - pre-War, with thirteen stars and all. "Could you just give this to your boss when you have the chance? Don't have to say it's from me. Just tell him to think of it as a reminder he's one of the good guys."

Hancock laughed and I realized he'd been in the room for at least the last thirty seconds.

"Or you can just leave it in the mail," he said in a light tone. "I didn't get you anything."

"Well... Have this." I gave it to him. "You know, I..." This could easily be the last time I saw him. I settled for a quick, friendly embrace. "Don't do anything too stupid, okay?"

He nodded and once I turned to walk away, he opened the gift.

"The hell..." I heard him mutter as he looked at the page. Hadn't been expecting this, had he? "We the people of the United States, in orde... Hold on. That's- Wait. Nora!"

I smirked, pushed the door, and went outside.

I shivered once outside; the snow was all gone by now, but it was still February. I zipped up my jacket, feeling that uncomfortable tenseness that someone was watching me. Hell, I got that often in Goodneighbor. I just shrugged it off.

Diamond City was next.

oooOOO***OOOooo

"Piper. Piper, Piper, Piper." I gave my best friend a crooked smile. "You have no idea how amazing you are, Pipes. So amazing."

"Gee... Thanks, Blue."

"And this is for you," I said. "For making me a better person."

I pushed the box in her direction.

"Holy hell, Blue, what _is_ inside this thing? Rocks?" She smiled. "And making you a better person, really? I'm not so sure about that."

"No, really. I mean, I had nothing. You gave me so much, Piper. So much. Think of this as a way of saying thank you."

"So... What is it?"

"Oh, odds and ends, this and that." I cleared my throat. "A, um, a typewriter. Nat said your printer needs a new motor, so a new motor. And uh, a little something from me on the sentimental side."

She looked through the contents of the box. "Your old Vault suit." She laughed. "Good one, Blue. Good one."

I smiled sadly. "Yeah. Thought you'd like that." I looked around. "Have you seen MacCready?"

Piper stammered nervously. "I- I'm not seeing MacCready!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Say what now?"

She blushed. "I _haven't_ seen him."

"...Yeah." I hesitantly walked to the door. I gave her a lingering look, but I didn't say anything.

MacCready was at the market, arguing with Arturo, the owner of the gun store, about some ammo or something. I tactfully diverted him from the conversation.

"Hey," he said, still smiling, once we had walked away. "Whoa, I haven't seen you for weeks. How have you been?"

"I've been... fine," I said. Nice word to describe what I'd gone through. "It was hard, you know. Moving on."

MacCready's smile dropped and yet again he looked as miserable as only he could. "Don't I know it."

"I just... I don't know, I was thinking that..." I drifted off, staring at the sky not to cry.

"You're going to try again, aren't you?" He crossed his arms, looking at me evenly.

"MacCready, I have to. It's the only way to the Institute we know of. And..." I clenched my fist. "She didn't die in vain. She didn't."

He sighed. "I'm coming with you."

I offered him a small smile. "Then you'll need this." I slowly slipped the sniper rifle off my shoulder and, holding by the strap, handed to him.

"I already have a gun," he said. "I appreciate the _gesture_ , but-"

"Oh, this is no ordinary gun. Thanks to this baby, you'll be able to add this extra, um, _coolness_ to your shots. It's nitrogen. Freezes people to death. If you get a shot good enough, that is. One bullet into the brain will freeze them right out."

"Nora, _any_ bullet to the brain kills."

He put his hand on the rifle, then hesitantly tried aiming. Of course, this had been custom-made with him in mind, so he couldn't complain.

"I'll take it," he said eventually. "Thanks, Nora."

"No," I insisted. "This is _my_ thanks."

oooOOO***OOOooo

I had known MacCready would want to tag along as I left for the Castle, but Piper and Danse came as a surprise. A little voice at the back of my head said maybe they were suspecting I wasn't planning on coming back, but for now, I ignored that voice.

Ronnie Shaw was now apparently in charge of building the defenses around the Castle. I saw her standing on a large debris and giving out commands to some Minutemen who were carrying supplies or building various mechanisms. True to her word, there was artillery.

I and MacCready, we were impressed.

Danse, he was scared.

"Artillery?" he asked in a whisper. "Where did this come from?"

"I found blueprints in the old armory beneath the Castle," I explained. "Didn't think they'd actually make it, though."

"Don't you see what you've done?!" he exclaimed. "You've just given the Minutemen the means to destroy the Brotherhood."

"Okay, big guy, bit less on the paranoia." I patted him on the back. "We're all on the same side here, remember?"

Danse didn't look convinced. "For now."

After several minutes of searching, I managed to track down Preston Garvey and get him to talk to me alone. We went up the walls of the Castle, which he was supposed to inspect anyway.

"I like the patch," I said. I really did. Made him look dapper. "It's way better than those bandages, at any rate."

Silence, then.

"So, Nora," he said, nodding his head at the young woman in a Minuteman's outfit who manned a piece of artillery on the wall. "How are you holding up? I was scared, you know... When you were gone. I should have known you're stronger than that."

"What... What do you mean?"

"Shit, I... I know about this stuff. I've been there. I just wanted to make sure you're coping better than I did."

That came as a surprise - I'd thought of him as the most hopeful person in the Wasteland - with his belief in the good in people and his optimism and all that... Without some pain behind it? I really had been blind.

"Can I ask?" I asked, hesitating even to touch his arm. "Is it okay...? Are you okay talking about it?"

"Sure." He sent me a smile. "I may have my reservations, but so far you've done more than enough to prove you're one of the good guys."

"I don't know how to tell you this," I noticed, "but... I'm not a guy."

He laughed. "I know you're not. Not that I'm... particularly paying attention or anything. You know what I meant."

"So... Was it, like..." I wanted to ask when, but that was a stupid question. Of course there was only one point in the history of the Commonwealth when even the most hopeful person would break. One event traumatic enough it could change his whole perception of the world.

Quincy.

"I was the last, all of a sudden," Preston said quietly. "All the other Minutemen were either dead or couldn't be bothered anymore. General Becker had been out of the picture for a long while by then, and we'd somehow gone on as detached squads, but it didn't work... Then, the Quincy Massacre." He kicked some rock so hard that it fell into the ocean. "I couldn't protect those people. Couldn't. Marcy and Jun lost their son back there. I lost friends. Good friends, actually.  
"If Sturges hadn't managed to rally us up, no one would have made it out. I was just as lost as the others, and I was supposed to protect them. No one believed in the Minutemen anymore. To be honest?" He took off his hat. "Neither did I. In the end, out of the whole town, I only managed to evacuate twenty. We made the mistake of going through Lexington..."

I winced. I had no good memories of there. That's how I'd met Danse, Rhys, and Haylen - they'd walked straight into that Lexington mess.

"The feral ghouls," I said evenly.

"The ghouls," Garvey agreed. "All of a sudden, my group shrank to just eight people with a terrible morale. Then, we looked for refuge in Concord. Raiders. There were only five of us... That's the state you found us in."

"God..." I whispered.

"I know." He closed his eyes. We'd stopped altogether a good while ago, but now we properly sat down on the ledge. "It was... Well, it was shit. And more than once, I found myself wanting to just... You know, to just end it. I really wanted to." He paused and I let him take the time he needed. "The only reason I kept fighting was because I had those people who relied on me. But, if I'm to be honest... If you hadn't come when you did? I don't know if I'd still be here."

"That's terrible," I whispered. "Preston, honey... I had no idea. I'm so sorry."

"No, don't be." He smiled at my expression. "You did come. We did get out of it. And now look at what we have here." He motioned at the space inside the Castle. "The Minutemen, rebuilt. Stronger than ever. And me, as the new General."

"Which reminds me I have something I want you to have," I said. I took off my backpack and after a while of rummaging through it managed to find what I was looking for. "This outfit was always traditionally worn by the general of the Minutemen. I'd really like to say that every leader who wore it lived a long and happy life, but... Not true. What is true though is that it shows your status. Looks good. And definitely offers more protection than that thin duster of yours."

I gave him that beautiful coat it'd been so hard to part with before. Now, it seemed so easy.

"This was Joe Becker's..." He folded the material in his hands. "Where did you get it?"

"Ronnie found this old armory beneath the Castle. I wouldn't go in, though. There's a broken Sentry Bot down there that will just attack anything that moves."

"No!" He laughed. "SARGE is still down there? Well, this is beautiful." He pressed the coat to his chest. "Thanks, Lieutenant. You've made my day a lot better."

"Sure thing, sir. Any day." I did a one-fingered salute.

 _Preston Garvey, check._ I had come to the end of my mental list.

Now, I was as ready as I'd ever be.

"And, Nora...?" he asked hesitantly. I looked back, confused. "You know there's always a place for you here. You don't have to feel like you've got to leave at once."

"I don't have a home," I said evenly. I didn't - I had no place I could return to when this was over, no place that I belonged. This wasn't it, and neither was the truck stop near Sanctuary. None of those places that had seemed good were in fact so - not the Prydwen or the police station or anywhere the Brotherhood of Steel could offer. Goodneighbor? Yeah, right. I was on good terms with Hancock, but I wouldn't live somewhere I'd have to fear of being stabbed in the back. Diamond City? There was something unwelcoming about their mindset and politics. Covenant? The thought alone made me shiver. And they got away with it... People were still dying there, because of me.

No place for me in the Commonwealth.

"No," I said quietly. "I'd rather leave now." Not that I was in a hurry - there was just no point in delaying it.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Preston offered. "I can."

"No, I... I really want to do this alone."

"What _are_ you going to do?"

 _I can't tell you. If I do, you'll never let me._ "Just... this thing. Don't worry, shouldn't take long." I smiled widely. "I'll be fine!"

Yeah, right.

I snuck out not much later, only stopping to replenish the food supplies and fill my water canteens. I really wanted to go alone.

Apparently, some people didn't understand the word 'alone'.

I couldn't get rid of those three, they followed wherever I went! God damn MacCready and his stupidly good observation skills - he had immediately noticed that I was leaving. MacCready, of course, would tell Piper, who in turn would turn to Danse. Danse meant Dogmeat, so in the end, instead of the discretion I had hoped for, I ended up in a rather sizeable party.

Again.

I tried not to talk too much, aside from specifying where the hell I was going. Which was, obviously, Cambridge. MacCready offered to guide us, which let me retreat to my thoughts and not take much notice of the surroundings.

"Say, uh, Blue," Piper laughed mirthlessly, "you've been giving away a lot of valuable stuff lately."

I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to slow down the pace and get too far from the boys.

"Guess I have," I said. "Is that a problem?"

"Not at all, generosity's great, but... Even the Pip-Boy?"

"Danse looked like he needed it," I said without a blink of an eye.

"No, he didn't."

"Piper..." I looked up for the first time in a few hours. "Let it go."

I sped up the pace, soon outwalking Danse and MacCready, and taking lead. I did _not_ want to talk.

They seemed to understand that. Piper didn't.

She tried to strike up a conversation with me at least five times until she finally gave up and went to talk to MacCready instead.

I didn't really want to listen. Which meant that, of course, I listened.

"Say, RJ, you're always talking about the Capital Wasteland and comparing it to the Commonwealth like... Is it really that bad?"

"It is," MacCready answered evenly. "Things got pretty heated up back home during the war between the Brotherhood of Steel and the Enclave, and life's been constant fighting since then. I mean, life in the Wasteland is always fighting, but it was like... too much." He looked at his feet. "It _is_ worse."

"There isn't any concept of 'worse' when it comes to the Wasteland," Danse disagreed. "It was just different. The Institute certainly didn't have any influence there and the only synths were ones harbored by the Railroad and similar organizations, but there were super mutants on every corner. Opposed to the Commonwealth, we had centaurs there, but not nearly as many poisonous insectoids. Much like the Gunners, the Capital Wasteland had its Talons..."

"You can go on and on comparing," MacCready summed up. "Bottom line is the Wasteland is the Wasteland. Some things never change."

 _War never changes,_ I thought, and for some reason, it made me very sad.

"What did you mean when you said the Railroad were helping synths?" MacCready asked. "I thought they were just an urban legend."

 _"Someone_ is helping runaway Institute synths," Danse explained. "It's generally assumed it's the Railroad."

"See, every now and then, a synth gets out of there," Piper took over the subject she was more educated on. "The Institute usually try to get their possession back. They're treated as slaves down there, go figure. Why create artificial humans if not for a cheap workforce?" She smiled bitterly. "Either way, that runaway synth usually gets help from someone in the Commonwealth, the Railroad. That usually includes plastic surgery, a way to blend it with society... They help the synths hide."

"Which bluntly places them on the other side of the barricade," Danse noticed. "A friend of my enemy's is an enemy of mine."

"They're not all bad," Piper mumbled quietly, but she didn't say anything louder, letting him have the last word. "Some people are just so close-minded..."

"Close-minded?" Danse repeated. He stopped, which meant that MacCready stopped too, and so did I, thus so did Piper. "Close-minded? Have you ever even considered what a synthetic actually _is_? Because I can tell you - it's the ultimate blasphemy against our very existence as human beings. A robot, created by humans to resemble a human as closely possible. A robot, programmed with the latest artificial intelligence so that it would _act_ human, too. A robot, designed with the utmost care for detail and neuroscience that it itself will think itself human. A robot, made by humans, that looks and acts like a human but is actually not." He gritted his teeth. "How can a machine think it's alive? It's ridiculous."

There was a long silence until, one by one, we got our bearings and set off again. As we did, I heard MacCready muttering, "And people ask me why I haven't joined the Brotherhood of Steel."

oooOOO***OOOooo

"Okay, so here we are again," MacCready summed up. We were in front of that damned Massachusetts Institute of Technology again. Now, I didn't feel any confidence, any hope or even any good emotions at all. This place only reminded me of my mistakes and the toll they'd taken.

My mistakes.

It was my place to fix them.

My place, not anyone else's. Not Danse's, not Piper's, definitely not MacCready's. _They_ hadn't gotten Cait killed.

But if they had come all this way with me, I might as well say goodbye properly. After all, there was something nice about knowing you've closed everything up - and there was something open between me and each one of those three. Goodbye would be very hard, and the first one was...

"MacCready."

I sighed, keeping my eyes on the tips of my shoes. I couldn't even look at him now. Damn it, this was going to be hard.

I looked up.

"Before anything happens, I just wanted to say... You..." _Aaand my voice is breaking._ _Great_. So much for keeping it together. "You have no idea how much you've taught me. I just... Thank you so much."

I kissed him on the cheek. He looked down, a bit embarrassed at that.

Next on was Danse. I didn't even know how to look at him. What to say. Was there even anything that hadn't been said already?

"Danse." I laughed. "God, I fucked you up real bad, didn't I?"

He narrowed his brows, clearly confused. But of course none of them knew what was going on... That was for the best.

"Danse, I'm..." Softly, I let out a breath. "I'm so sorry you ever met me. I really am."

I wanted to hug him, but that would be awkward, and he was taller than MacCready so I couldn't kiss him as easily, that would be awkward too anyway... I settled for just shaking his hand.

And finally... _God, no._

Piper.

She had tears in her eyes and I realized that she knew. The others didn't, but Piper had always known.

I opened my mouth, but she shook her head.

"No, before you say anything- Before you say anything, I just... God damn it, you were the best thing that ever happened to me, Nora. Best thing, hands down."

I embraced her tightly, burying my head in her hair. I gritted my teeth, not wanting to cry. I clutched at the fabric of her overcoat.

"Same here, Pipes," I whispered. "Same."

I pulled away. She was looking at me in a way that made my heart just break.

"So when, huh?" she asked through tears. The boys looked at her, confused. "When did you want to tell us you weren't planning on coming back?"

"That would be around now," I said calmly. "Go."

"We're not leaving," MacCready protested. "No one is leaving you alone with something like that. You _need_ help, Nora!"

"No, I don't." I still didn't raise my eyes. "Just let me make my choice for once and just _leave_."

"What about _you_?" Piper had to be all concerned, of course.

"You've got Nat," I said, holding her warm hand with my own. I turned to MacCready and grabbed him by the hand too. "You've got Duncan." I bit my lip, feeling terrible for the small bit of envy in my heart. I joined their hands together. "Most of all? You've got each other."

"Nora-" Piper flinched. Whatever it was that she was going to say, I didn't let her.

"No," I said. "Just _no._ You've got your whole lives ahead of you. Spend them _together_ , for God's sake. It's easier. Believe me, it really is."

So here it was. Rhys and Haylen. Piper and MacCready. Nick and Ellie. Even though I had been acting as the matchmaker, the only person I _couldn't_ find love for was myself. That hurt.

"But this does _not_ justify leaving my best friend to die!" Piper put down her foot. "I don't know what you're thinking, missy, but you're not having it!"

"I think I am, actually."

"Hell no. We're not letting you walk to your death like that."

"You slipped," I pointed out calmly. "That was a swearword." I offered MacCready a sad smile. "I really appreciate the sentiment. But that doesn't change a thing."

They looked at me as I looked at them, proud and defiant in my stance.

"Nora, what in the world has gotten into your head?" Paladin Danse asked, looking at me skeptically. "What in the whole big, wide world?"

"I already got one of my friends killed like this," I said simply. "I won't let any one of you die because of me. Leave."

I wondered how many more times I would have to say it until they complied.

"What about the Minutemen?" Piper tried. "They rely on you!"

"Not anymore," I said with a small smile. Maybe Preston Garvey hadn't been the best candidate for a leader six months ago, but now I could say he was ready. He didn't need me anymore.

"The Brotherhood of Steel," she said.

"With people like _that_?" I elbowed Danse. "They'll manage."

"Nora..." Piper choked on her tears and couldn't finish the thought. Funnily enough, I seemed to be the calmest person in the group.

MacCready put an arm around her. "I don't think there's anything you could say to change her mind," he said quietly. He looked at me. "She's made a decision. A stupid, reckless decision, but still... She has the right."

I smiled. "Thanks, RJ." I had known he would understand. "Look out for her, will you? This Wasteland wouldn't survive without Piper Wright."

Alas, it would very well survive without me.

"And..." I turned to Danse. "You'll take care of Dogmeat, right?"

He didn't say a word, but I knew he would. I sighed and turned away. I didn't want to see them go. The last friendly faces I would see in my life.

"You can go now," I whispered. "Please."

It was a while until I heard footsteps, but I did. Not in my direction - getting away. They'd listened. They'd left me. I waited for another few minutes. I eventually hung my head, fully aware what I would see if I turned around.

I did so. Of course. I had _told_ them to go!

"That includes you," I pointed out. "Leave me alone."

"No."

"No? Is that your answer?" I laughed bitterly.

"Maybe it is."

I sighed. _"Go_ , Danse. Just go away. This is something I have to do on my own."

"You will never do it on your own. And neither should you. As fellow brothers in arms, we have to-"

I rolled my eyes, wanting to turn away, but he grabbed my shoulders.

"I know that's not what you want to hear right now, but will you just hear me out!" It wasn't even a question. He didn't _want_ me to listen, he _demanded_ it.

"Fine." I crossed my arms. "Talk. I'll listen. You have one minute to convince me, soldier boy."

"You're going to die," he stated simply.

"Yes. I know that," I said calmly, looking him straight in the eyes, daring him to argue.

"I can't allow that."

I laughed out loud, even though he remained completely serious. I shook my head.

"And what? Are you gonna stop me?"

"If I have to." He put a hand on the handle of his laser rifle, the muscles of his body tensing visibly under the thin material of the jumpsuit, clearly ready to fight. I narrowed my eyes.

"Are you threatening me?"

He closed his eyes, exasperated.

"Nora, we've been through this already!"

"Stop shouting!" I stomped my foot. "I can do it too, you know! And it will _not_ change my decision, God damn it! You're either with me or against me, Danse, and that's _final_!"

I had gone too far and I knew that. But I was giving him a chance to walk away like the rest had.

The silence that followed my words was all too long.

Danse drooped his shoulders and sighed. He let go of his weapon, looking down at the ground.

"With you. Always with you, Nora," he said quietly. "Till the end of the line."

 **Level up.**


	25. The Road to Freedom, Part 1

**Chapter Twenty-Three  
** **The Road to Freedom, Part 1**

* * *

"Alright, they're fast. And they use some freaky armor," I explained on the way to the MIT ruins. Danse nodded, immediately acknowledging the new information. I kind of liked that about working with him - he didn't ask unnecessary questions. "Looks like just a coat, but it's almost impenetrable. We hadn't managed to actually damage it last time around. MacCready with a sniper rifle, Cait with a shotgun and me with two pistols."

"We'll have to assume conventional ammunition is useless against whatever material that is, in that case."

"I thought exactly the same thing. Good thing you use energy weapons anyway." I looked away. "You, uh... You really didn't have to come with me. This is a suicide mission."

"That's not the first of our ops someone's categorized like that," he pointed out. "If there's anything you've taught me in those six months, it's that anything's possible."

I smiled. _Shit, am I glad to have someone with me._ I glanced at him - he was sorting something in his Pip-Boy's inventory. _But he can't know that._

Oh, no. I was independent and strong. I'd sooner die than admit I needed someone.

...Which, incidentally, might just be the case.

I think it took Danse a while to understand we were headed to Greentech Genetics, but once he did, he patiently waited for me to explain. I didn't, and only then did he ask.

"What now?" he asked - a question that wasn't stupid, considered everything.

"Now we wait." I looked around, but the area seemed safe. "They're bound to send another Courser - or the same one - here sooner or later. That one clearly didn't get to finish its job, whatever it was. He just legged it as soon as he realized we were a danger. So he's gonna be back here eventually."

"But that might take days."

"I know," I answered simply. "I'm ready for that. You don't have to be here if you think it pointless."

Between leaving me alone for sure death and proving a point, Danse chose, with a displeased expression, to stay and guard me from doing something stupid. Which, as far as I was aware, I would do regardless of him being there or not.

I tuned in an SVR to the Courser frequently (white noise), set it down on the ground, unfolded my sleeping bag, and lay down with the book MacCready had given me - _Chinese Infiltration Tactics (Know Your Enemy!)._ I was expecting a whole lot of waiting.

oooOOO***OOOooo

"Nora." Danse shook me again.

"Shut up, mom." I groaned, rolling over not to face him. "Let me sleep."

"Nora!"

I blinked, rubbed my eyes, put on my glasses, and looked at him. Holy hell.

"Did you sleep, like, at all?" I asked, cocking my head to the side. "You look like shit."

"Thank you," he said. "There's nothing like courtesy from your teammates."

I think Cait had made my Danse a bit too sarcastic for my liking. Thinking about Cait, of course, made me think about all the bad stuff that'd happened recently, and I soon found myself saddened.

"What time is it...?" I lifted my left arm to look at the Pip-Boy, but there was nothing there. "Huh. Figures. The only thing I used that thing for."

"You only meant it as a watch?" Danse asked. "Then how about I'll get you one and we will be even?"

"Sounds good," I replied. "Except we're gonna die in, like, a few hours."

"Hmpf," he huffed. "And answering your question, it's six hundred and fifty. You slept for ten hours, I think."

"You let me sleep for ten hours?!" I exclaimed. I sprang to my feet. "What about-?"

"Nora. Nothing happened, the radio was silent all the time, and you needed that rest." I hated it when he was being all reasonable like that. He had a point.

"Fine," I said. "You'd better get some sleep, too. I'll take over the guarding."

He nodded his head in acknowledgement and lay down on the same sleeping bag I'd just crawled out of. I watched curiously; Cait had been right about Danse's problems - I'd never seen the poor bastard sleep.

I walked away to stretch and do a few simple strength exercises. Funny, before I'd joined a military, no one would've forced me to do pushups, let alone burpees. Now, living in the Commonwealth, in the Wasteland, I knew well enough how important it was to stay in shape.

I narrowed my brows at the low beeping noise that came from somewhere nearby. What the hell was... My SVR! I ran back to our camp like crazy.

"Danse!" I screamed. "Wake up!"

He looked at me, not a sign of sleepiness in his eyes. "I am," he said simply.

I grabbed my combat armor greaves and began quickly strapping them on. "We can't let them get away this time," I said frantically, "we can't!"

We managed to break camp at what had to be record speed, but I was still worried. This whole thing was a very stupid idea either way. We hadn't managed to get the upper hand last time around, when there had been more than two of us. And the timing was terrible, because as much as I wanted to believe in my strategical importance, I wasn't blind to the fact that Danse was the better fighter - and he hadn't had a good night's rest for at least forty-eight hours.

All in all, this was a pretty shitty situation I'd put us in. It'd been alright when it'd been just my life on the line, but I couldn't just decide someone else's fate like that. I'd done it with Cait and I'd done it wrong. I wouldn't have Danse end up the same way. No one else would get hurt because of my stupidity!

I clenched my fists, digging my nails deep into my skin. It didn't hurt. It didn't hurt at all. I looked down at my hands and saw the gloves from Cait did one thing perfectly; they prevented me from hurting myself like that again.

"She knew," I whispered. She had known... Why did I always have to lose those that really mattered?! This was all my fault. Nate. Shaun. Cait. Preston. I had been making mistakes and mistakes and nothing else... I narrowed my eyes. _No more._

oooOOO***OOOooo

I kicked the door open, but this room was thankfully void of Gunners. We'd been fighting constantly for at least half an hour by now, so this was a welcome change.

"This is bad!" I noticed. "Shit!" I unclipped the used fusion cell from my laser pistol to insert a new one.

Danse didn't answer, and I could see he was weary already. This was going badly enough. Maybe it was time to face I'd never had a chance at keeping him alive. If I couldn't do it for Cait, how could I guarantee it to anyone else?

"Hello-? Is someone there?" a weak female voice called out. We exchanged glances.

"Yes," Danse answered hesitantly.

We didn't get to find the girl until she pressed her palms against the pane of the glass door to some closet she was locked inside of.

"You're not like those mercenaries," she said. "Can you please let me out of here?"

"What happened?" I asked, coming closer to the closet.

"The Gunners locked me in a broom closet. They thought I was going to run away... Which I probably should." She took a step back when she saw Danse. "No." She shook her head frantically. "I won't go back there! I can't!"

We both looked at her strangely. She gradually stopped panicking, though she still eyed my friend suspiciously. "You're not... I'm so sorry. I thought you were a-" She looked around. "There's an Institute Courser somewhere here. He can't find me. Please, help me get out of here before he does."

Something wasn't quite right here. I took a step back, considering the girl. She was probably pretty with platinum gold hair and a shapely figure, but she was wearing tattered rags and was covered with dirt and grime. She looked normal. Nothing about her stood out as odd. But still...

"What's your name?" I asked.

She fidgeted, uncomfortable a bit. "My Institute designation is K1-98... But I prefer Jenny." She smiled, but that smile fell soon. "So yes, I'm a synth. If you hadn't guessed already."

There was a moment of silence. I looked at Danse. "Well, what do we do with this one?" I asked in a half-joke. I was only trying to cover my nervousness, though. The Brotherhood's policy regarding synths was simple: kill on sight. And my personal feelings towards them weren't the warmest right now. A synth had killed Cait, for one.

"We could just leave her," I said aloud. "She's not part of our mission here."

"I don't think..." He gave her a long look. "Isn't that-"

"Danse, honey, I know that you're exhausted and you're not thinking straight right now, but this-" I pointed at the broom closet accusingly. _"_ _This_ is a synth. It's not a real person, it only acts human."

Danse looked at my expression and something in his eyes told me he thought the same thing. "You're right," he said coldly.

"Wait. You can't-!" K1-98 called out. "Do you have any idea what they'll do to me? And the Courser?! Please, I- Don't leave!"

I didn't turn back on any of those begs or shouts. Heartless? Maybe I was. But then again, my heart had died enough times already.

Continuing on, we managed to find a trail of death that led through the hallways. The Courser had been systematically killing- no, _butchering_ \- the Gunners as he went, which left a conveniently clear path for us. It also meant, of course, that he could kill them all.

"Oh my god, please..."

"Someone give him what he wants!"

The Courser had the last three surviving Gunners at gunpoint. The mercenaries were disarmed, one of them scrambling to get away. The Courser, the same one that had killed Cait, shot him without much consideration.

"I'd hate to repeat myself. Where is the girl?" he asked calmly.

"Shit, I... Shit!" The young mercenary cried out in pain when she got shot in the leg.

While the Gunners weren't really on my good list, I was keen on leaning towards them rather than the Institute.

"Hey!" I said loudly, stepping forward. My voice was so steady that it surprised even myself. "You there. Drop the gun." I aimed both my laser pistols at him.

"No. It's you again." If the synth was surprised, there was nothing to show it. "And you've brought a friend..." He looked at Danse intensely, as if placing him. Then, he pointed his rifle at him with a smug smirk. "Well, this is certainly an unexpected boon. Looks like there'll be a bonus from this mission for me."

I wasn't very sure what he was talking about, but I had the common sense to push Danse aside the moment the Courser fired his gun.

That sudden movement must have triggered the automated defense system, because two previously dormant machinegun turrets sprung to life, shooting in our direction.

The Courser lost all interest in the Gunners once we'd arrived. He shot them both without even flinching. After that, he proceeded to try and take us out - which only added up to our problems at the moment. We ran for dear life!

"Why does he want to kill _you_?!" I exclaimed.

"Is that really what you want to focus on?!" Danse screamed in response, keeping his head low at the shower of bullets that rained above us. "I don't know! It's the Institute, why _wouldn't_ they want to kill either of us?!" There was an open doorway and we just dove into the room without much thought. "We haven't exactly been nice to them!"

We threw ourselves to the door and shut it as fast as possible.

"Good point, my man." I patted him on the shoulder. "...Well, at least now we know where the enemy is."

"And _vice versa_." He pronounced it in Latin, not in English, and that threw me off for a good moment. "The enemy knows where we are."

"You okay?" I asked. There was blood on his combat armor chest piece, but I couldn't tell if it was his or not.

"...It's just a scratch," he said quietly. I wasn't convinced, but there was no time. We had to keep moving because, unlike the turrets, the Courser was a thinking, mobile enemy who could and would pursue us.

Stupidly enough, our position had turned from the hunter to the prey again. The problem was, a Courser was a hunter. It had been made for that. Sure, we weren't runaway synths, but disposing of us would be pretty much the same.

Counting up: we were injured, outmatched, tired, and we didn't have the genetic advantage of being specifically designed for fighting (even if I sometimes got the idea that Danse indeed had been so).

We ran through one door after another, half hoping that it would make the Courser cease pursuit and half hoping to actually find him. For now, we were pretty much lost - and time wasn't on our side. I had a wound in my side that didn't react nicely to me running around all the time.

I ran up the stairs, not even caring about Danse anymore - all that mattered was saving my own skin. God damn those turrets! Another bullet got my leg. I would have fallen if Danse hadn't caught up with me and held me up for a moment.

I mumbled a thanks, but we didn't get to enjoy a moment of peace. The Courser was fast on us. I ignored the pain and jumped away any time he got close, remembering how it had ended for Cait. Clearly martial arts were not alien to the Institute.

Using the momentary relief of the Courser reloading his rifle, we both made for the stairs and ran down. Fighting was long forgotten, now we only thought about running away.

There was nowhere to run _now_. We had to face the synth that was, scarily enough, in a pretty good shape still.

I shot and shot both my pistols repeatedly, but they seemed to do little damage. Ignoring the burning pain in various parts of my body, I threw the now empty guns away. There was no time for reloading! I grabbed Righteous Authority with its wonderfully full fusion cell and started shooting that. The Courser didn't even stagger.

He decided I was little danger and concentrated his fire on my partner instead.

"Danse!" I cried out just seconds before another bullet tore through my left shoulder. I hit the wall behind me and slumped to the floor.

The Courser grinned, looking at the two of us.

"As pathetic now as before," he snorted. "That's why humanity doesn't stand a chance in this war. You just never learn."

I gritted my teeth. With some effort, I managed to pull out a Stimpak from my pocket and inject it into my forearm. I felt my wounds mending, but not entirely. It wouldn't be enough.

"Nora..." Danse said hoarsely, walking to me and pressing his palms onto his abdomen. He was completely covered in blood.

My irises shrank. "God."

"Ah..." He waved a hand, leaning on the wall for support. He then coughed up some blood. "How bad are your injuries, Sergeant?"

I narrowed my eyes. "You should be worrying about _yourself_ right now, sir! I'm not nearly as-"

"It's not that..." He winced in pain. "Let me rephrase the question: Can you still fight, Sergeant?"

I clenched my fists. "Yes, sir!"

"We can't allow him... to get away." He reached into his pocket and gave me some small item. "I'm clearing you of your assignment... You may... leave me."

"I can't!" I protested. "I'm not leaving you! I can't just..."

I glanced after the fleeing Courser and dug my nails into my skin.

"Damn it," I growled, looking at the wounded Paladin. "I'm coming back for you. I'm not leaving."

I didn't give him a chance to answer as I took off after the Courser. On my way, I opened my fist to look at the thing Danse had given me.

My heart sank.

I was holding my holotags.

The fact that he had given them to me meant two things. One, that I wasn't obliged to him in any way anymore. If I left him to die, I wouldn't have to face any consequences. It wouldn't be seen as desertion. Two, it meant that he trusted me completely. More than he did himself.

It also meant that he strongly believed he was going to die.

I clenched my fist on the dogtags. Oh no. I wasn't having that. I had already let one of my friends die here and I certainly wasn't going to make it a second.

"Face me!" I screamed. My voice was hoarse and I sounded desperate, but I needed to confront that synth _immediately_. Anger was tearing me apart. "Let's _finish_ this! What do you say?!"

There was no reply, of course.

"Is the Institute really so scared of the Brotherhood?!" I shouted angrily. "I'm barely standing! Am I still that much of a threat?!"

No answer.

"WELL?!"

I unbuckled my shoulder holster, letting it fall to the ground. My sight was blurred already - I didn't doubt I was losing blood at an alarming rate.

"COME OUT AND FACE ME!" I couldn't even stand anymore. I fell on one knee. "Face me!" I demanded one last time.

The Courser slowly walked towards me, his footsteps now the only sound in the eery silence. I looked at him, panting heavily, but I didn't speak any more.

"What are you hoping to achieve?" He asked calmly. He was standing close to me. Very close - he wouldn't have done that unless he was convinced I was completely harmless. "You're practically dead by now. You and that other soldier both." He shook his head. "You're completely hopeless. You don't even have the brains to see when you don't stand a chance."

"Yeah..." I said hoarsely. I coughed, spitting blood all over the floor. "You're right. I don't have any kind of common sense." I managed to smile despite the pain. "What I _do_ have, though... Is quite a big stash of weaponry."

The synth's eyes widened, but he didn't have the chance to react when I jumped back, using almost all my strength, and left him with the sheaf of live hand grenades which had been hidden under my body until now.

"No."

 _What a pathetic last word_.

I covered my ears, curling up on the floor not to get caught in the blast. And what a blast it was. Five grenades, all exploding at the same moment. They tore the Courser's body apart as easily as if it were made from paper.

There was so much blood... Even from the inside, the synth looked human. I was just starting to wonder what the difference was.

Looking at the splattered internal organs and flesh was the last thing I wanted to do, but I had a job to do and I was barely conscious. If I didn't get us out of there soon, we would both bleed out to death.

I found the chip, embedded into what had used to be the Courser's head. I managed to take it out, but then I had to throw up. This whole situation was very bad.

I was also completely sure I had been caught up in the blast after all, because something in my chest was hurting that I didn't remember hurting before. At the stairs, I tripped over and went tumbling down. My head was spinning even more now.

I thought I wouldn't be able to stand back up, but then I saw Danse. His state was, if that was possible, drastically worse than mine - or he just happened to have more external damage, I didn't know. The thing remained that I was sure I had broken something while he was completely covered in blood. There wasn't a single clean spot on his body, even his hair was all caked in blood.

Seeing him like that made me hurt in more ways than one.

But most of all, I felt cold determination. I had just killed the person who had done this - but it was the scientists at the Institute who were getting it. I would kill every last one of those bastards. For what they had done to me and to my friends. For Cait. And Shaun. And Preston Garvey, and Paladin Danse. For everyone I'd seen get into harm's way.

I checked and was relieved to see he was still alive, and even partially conscious, which was more than I had been hoping for.

We could barely walk, so as much as leaving the building was hard. Danse had a large wound in his abdomen and, despite our constant efforts, more blood was still flowing out of it. I couldn't stop the bleeding, neither his nor mine. I was pretty sure my arm was broken or at least crippled, but I still put it around him and tried to hold both of us up. I had a gunshot wound in my left thigh and the bullet was still in. Every move of my leg caused more blood to leave me. Danse's right arm was almost completely bashed, blood and blood and even more blood.

I was too weak to walk on my own. He was too weak to walk at all.

By some ungodly effort and enduring more pain that I would ever be comfortable with, I managed to pull a signal flare out of Danse's belt pocket. I didn't have enough strength to throw it. I just lit the tip and waited until red flame burst from the small tube.

"Almost... there," I moaned. "Come on... Come on."

"Nnnngh" was the only response I received from the barely conscious Paladin.

"Vertibird... coming..." I tried to take another step, but I tripped on some small rock and we both went tumbling to the ground. Blood! I landed on top of Danse, but that didn't even matter.

I passed out.

oooOOO***OOOooo

I blinked and rubbed my head with a moan. I felt as if someone'd hit me with a baseball bat. Repeatedly.

Slowly, I remembered what had happened and how much better the bat would have been.

"...think she's conscious," someone said. Their voice was all deteriorated by the blood rushing in my ears. "Sergeant? Are you with us?"

"...just don't try to move for now..."

"Nora, hi." This voice I did recognize - Haylen. "Listen, can you try to hold out for a while longer?"

Weakly, I opened my eyes. I was in the clinic on the Prydwen. I could see Knight-Captain Cade, Haylen, and another medic in the room, but most of all, I could see a big bundle of blood-stained cloth. How much blood... had I lost...? Had I?

"Danse?" I tried to ask, but my voice was so rasped that it barely came out as a word.

"Shh, don't talk now," Haylen said. "You'll just make it worse."

I tried to lift my head to look around the room, but I was held down.

"...not the way to go about it..."

I didn't hear the full conversation.

"Give me an anaesthetic."

I wanted to protest when Haylen injected a syringe into my vein, but my body was partly paralyzed, and those few parts that weren't slowly lost feeling too.

The darkness surrounded me again.

oooOOO***OOOooo

"Danse!" I gasped, sitting up as I jolted awake. I did a quick scan of the room I was in - the medibay again. I was uncomfortable with the amount of IV bags I had strapped to different parts of my body, but nothing really hurt. Probably painkillers. "...Danse?"

"Right here." I was relieved to see him alive and- maybe not well, but alive. That's what mattered.

I hadn't gotten anyone killed this time around.

"And she's up," Knight-Captain Cade announced. He walked up to me with a stern expression. "What gives, Sergeant? I said, slow metabolism. I said, don't push yourself too hard. I said all those things-"

"It was my fault," Danse offered, but he was about as convincing as a drunken molerat.

"You can shut up," Haylen said kindly. "With all respect, sir, but you're in no condition to take any responsibility, sir." She had a point - he looked like he had been chewed up, spit out, and stepped on. And then glittered with bandages and IVs.

"How... long was I out?" I asked.

"Just a day or so."

"A _day_?!" I exclaimed. "I gotta know if-"

It was then that it hit me that's not what I should be concerned with. The Courser chip... The chip! I didn't have it!

I wanted to start looking in my pockets, but I realized I was wearing only a thin hospital gown.

Danse noticed my panic and explained that it had been secured, alright. Apparently, most of Proctor Quinlan's team and Proctor Taegan's team were working on a way to decode the encryption on the chip now. If they'd been at it for a day already, it had to be a hard nut to crack.

The body of the Courser had been taken for examination, of course, but my little explosion had done so much damage that there was no hope for results. The only thing Proctor Taegan had managed to do was isolate the material of the polymer used in the Courser's armor. Pretty impressive for one day.

All in all, it seemed like, at least for now, my job was done.

"How long until I can get back to it?" I asked. Cade and Haylen exchanged glances.

"You've got four broken ribs right now, and I'm afraid a minor concussion," Cade said slowly. "I would be hesitant to put you into any combat mission in the nearest future. Actually, I'd advise using a wheelchair for three days or so."

"You're kidding," I said. "With all due respect, sir, I'm not..." I drifted off. What the hell did it matter? Why did I want to go back to Greenetech? "That's okay. I can wait."

I asked Haylen to help me get dressed in my regular uniform, somewhere far away from all the prying eyes. Yes, it was still a military, yes, Cade was my GP at the moment, and yes, with our lifestyle, Danse had seen me in various degrees of nakedness already, but I wasn't comfortable changing around all those _men_.

"Paladin, a word, since we're already at the injuries subject," Cade added. I stopped in the door. I didn't care if eavesdropping was bad - I needed to know what I'd done to my friend. "Do listen this time... Be careful. Don't strain it. Don't break it. You can't get this one arm injured so often, it's not good for you."

Danse glared at him.

"If this keeps on, I'll have no choice but to take it off."

 _"_ _Noted_ , Captain," Danse said jadedly. He looked away proudly.

I asked Haylen to help me walk outside.

"The hell you're grinning for?" I asked skeptically. "Me beaten up or Paladin Danse beaten up? One of us must've pissed you if you're this happy," I noticed.

"No, Nora, I just... I spent a lot of time thinking about what you said about love and relationships and, you know... All that... And..." She kept smiling. "Well... Rhys asked me out yesterday!"

I stared at her.

"But that's... That's amazing!" I hugged her.

"I know!" She hugged me back, which kind of hurt. A lot.

"Broken ribs," I said through gritted teeth and Haylen immediately pulled away.

"Oh, sorry."

So everyone around me was all happy and together while I was still as pathetically single as ever. I could have been with MacCready. I could have made it work with MacCready...

Oh, let's admit it. I wasn't over MacCready. I couldn't accept that he had chosen my best friend over me.

Shit. I should be happy for them. I should. I knew fair well how hard it was for love to exist in the Wasteland. The fact that two of my closest friends had managed to find it in one another should be a reason for me to be happy, not bitter and envious.

Some friend I turned out to be.

oooOOO***OOOooo

Three days.

Three days, chained to this godforsaken stupid wheelchair. My stitches would have to stay on for longer than that, too. All in all, I would be effectively out of duty for circa a week.

And the most irritating thing of all? That bastard Danse was due in two days. I was sure he had been more hurt than me - or at least just as much. And he got away with a few stitches and a sling. Not. Fucking. Fair.

I was also angry because honestly, we were finally on the right track, and for once there was nothing I could _do_. I wanted to go down to Diamond City and discuss the situation with Piper! I wanted to come by the Castle and check up on the Minutemen - hell, I would be okay with running a stupid settlement recruitment op!

...Most of all, I wanted - needed to talk to Nick Valentine. About synths. I hadn't had any moral problems before, but...  
 _"You can't-! Do you have any idea what they'll do to me?! Please, I- Don't leave!"_ That girl's screams haunted me at night. So humane. So full of fear.

I really needed to talk to someone about it.

But no. I had to _stay put._

I spent most time complaining about it to Proctor Ingram. The first day, I irritated her, but then she must've gotten used to me talking because she stopped complaining. I bet she was like me and didn't like silence during work.

I also tuned her radio to Diamond City radio so I could listen in, get intel on what was going down in the Commonwealth - and how much of it reached the public.

"Oh God, please," Paladin Brandis complained during lunch break once, when I turned it on. "Not that terrible radio again. I don't understand why you even bother."

"It's news," I answered absently, turning it up so I could hear over all the noise.

 _"-those mercenaries. The... Gunners, right. So, I don't know if that's true, but sounds like, maybe, um... Maybe the Institute was involved?"_ Travis, the DJ, was such a poor guy. I'd met him just a couple of times in Diamond City and I could tell he wasn't very good at the talking to people thing. My heart went out to him. At the same time, I was happy _anyone_ hosted a radio broadcast in the Wasteland.

MacCready had said Galaxy News Radio in DC was better.

 _"In other news, there's this... Well, there are rumors, in the_ _Commonwealth... That I have heard... You know the one about the Railroad? A, uh, group that actually helps... helps synths who want to escape the Institute."_ I perked up at that. _"Well, uh... Maybe it's not just a rumor. I mean, it is as far as I know, but, uh... I mean, they may actually be out there."_ He paused. Travis was a good kid, but he was a terrible DJ. _"It- It sounds kind of crazy, if you ask me! And if it were real... It'd be super dangerous, I bet. I think it's safer to just, uh, sit here and play... play music. Yeah."_

A sad jazzy tune came on, then.  
 _"Wish on the moon_  
 _And look for the gold in a rainbow_  
 _And you'll find a happy time..."_

Half of the music on this stupid station was massively depressing. I asked Paladin Brandis to turn it off.

"Must have been something," he said. "To see it all before the world went to hell."

"Not that different," I said. "Maybe less radiation and dirt. But some things haven't changed at all."

People never change.

War never changes.

Ultimately, the world doesn't change.

"You should tell us about it," Danse suggested. I looked at him, surprised. He already knew all he had wanted to know.

"Actually, my colleague here has got a point," Brandis agreed. "It would be a nice distraction from the war effort, and everyone here is on a break anyway."

"Come on, Sergeant," Danse smiled a bit, "we want to hear you talk."

"Uh... Sure." I started talking then; about the radio and television, and then about society and jobs and all those things those people didn't know... All in all, I strayed far from the militaristic. I talked and talked and talked, trying to recreate the image of America as well as I could - the image that, with every Wasteland day that passed, became more blurred and distant.

At first it was just Danse and Brandis listening, but eventually a Scribe sat down at our table and joined my little audience. As time went, the whole table was filled with people, some of them standing just to hear me talk.

I was baffled at first and would lose the context, but Danse would just ask me a question regarding my story and guide me back on the thread. Oh, the son of a gun had set it up. Smartass.

"Let's see..." I jogged my memory to answer the most recent question as well as I could. "Well, I didn't work in accounting, but there had been a big inflation during the Sino-American War, with US dollars reaching the lowest price in, like, centuries. And, uh... Yeah. You just went into a store and paid for what you wanted."

Scribe Harris raised a finger shyly. "And they had it?"

"...Yeah," I said, surprised. "Pretty much everything was available..." I drifted off, staring at the far end of the room, where Elder Maxson was leaning on the doorframe and looking at me rather reproachfully.

I went completely silent. Everyone looked away, suddenly reminded that this wasn't something we were supposed to be doing. I felt a lump in my throat and quickly thought about how to explain myself.

"It's my fault, sir," Danse stood up before I had the chance to do anything.

"Danse," he growled. "Why am I not surprised." My friend fidgeted a bit, but didn't lose his composure.

"I encouraged Knight-Sergeant Nora to share her experiences with the rest of the division. I was fully aware this would lead to neglection of duties, sir. I'm taking full responsibility on myself."

Maxson looked at him, then at me. Something in his expression changed, almost like... amusement.

"And you do what he tells you to?" He asked. I figured the question was directed to me, but I had no idea what the safe answer could be.

"Yes, sir..." I answered hesitantly. "I wouldn't dare be insubordinate."

The fact that everyone was watching was even more stressing.

"Well, I'll be damned." Maxson chuckled to himself. He looked at me, then at Danse, then again at me. I had no idea what he was seeing in us. "But this is wonderful. Simply _wonderful_." He shook his head happily. "Star Paladin Grimes? I want you at the commandment deck. The rest of you can continue whatever that was." There was a spark in his eyes as he smiled at us. "After all, who am I to deprive you of such a good pastime?"

There was a moment of awkward silence. I wasn't sure why Maxson had even allowed this, least of all what I had done to make this something bad, but... But, ultimately, it didn't matter. I was telling a story and people were enjoying it. That was the bottom line.

"Where... Where was I?" I asked nervously.

"You were saying about stores," Harris said kindly. I nodded.

"Right. Um... We had all kinds of stores; there were grocery stores, electronics..."

oooOOO***OOOooo

"I'm taking off your cast now," Haylen informed me. I had already gone through removing the stitches that day, so this would be nicer. "I still wouldn't go doing one of those things you and Danse do when you're in the field. You two just can't stop, can you? Half of the time I spend in medical is time spent on you."

"Yeah. Thanks, Haylen. I'll be careful," I promised. I offered her a weak smile.

"And no synth hunting, right?"

My smile fell. "No," I said seriously. I really needed to talk to Nick. And... Damn it.

There hadn't been a day when I didn't regret not helping that synth in Cambridge. The girl had clearly been scared out of her wits. I hadn't helped at all.

 _Then again, it's not like I killed her._ I quickly shut that voice out. The moment I became a person who thought not killing a good deed in itself, the Wasteland won. I wouldn't let the goddamn Wasteland win.

I wasn't lost yet.

I went to Elder Maxson to ask who I had to ask if I wanted to do something. Stupid as it sounded, I had pretty much no idea who I answered to right now. I wasn't in active duty so it's not like it mattered, but I wouldn't get my peace unless I went back there. I just wouldn't.

I gently knocked on the door to the Elder's office even though it was open, just out of politeness.

"Sir, if I may, a question..." I began awkwardly, "It's just that... I'm not really sure which officer I serve under right now."

Maxson looked at me. "Weren't you in Paladin Danse's team?"

"Well, yes, but..."

"Paladin Danse responds directly to Proctor Ingram. I understand he's out of duty right now?"

"Yes, sir," I nodded, "that is right."

"Then go to Proctor Ingram, whatever it is." He sighed. "I don't exactly have the time right now."

"...May I ask why?"

"Actually, Sergeant, you may not. But since you're partly the reason, I might as well tell you. It's that damned Institute technology." He saw my expression and quickly raised a hand. "Don't take this the wrong way. I do appreciate you securing it, and I'm fully aware how taxing that task was. But whatever data's on that chip, it's heavily encrypted. I've got the Brotherhood's brightest minds working on this day and night, and still we've come up with nothing."

"Then the Institute is a lot more technologically advanced than we are," I said.

Maxson frowned. "I feared so. They posed a threat either way, but with that kind of advancement, they're even more of a danger..." He drifted off, staring intently at something behind me. "I'm sorry, you were saying?"

"I wanted to check in, ask if I could visit the fight site."

"I suppose there's no harm. We've secured the building, so there should be no fighting." He nodded his head curtly. "Yes, I'll send for a vertibird to take you to Cambridge."

"Thank you," I said gratefully.

"Oh no, thank _you_."

The vertibird that Maxson had issued me was one in a better state than any of the ones I had flown in before, but I never had gotten quite used to the idea that people thought flying in a 200-years-old helicopter was good sense, so it was the same thing for me.

I thanked the pilot, told him not to wait for me, and walked to the Greenetech Genetics building on foot. True to Elder Maxson's words, there was a bunch of Brotherhood soldiers stationed outside, but I wouldn't call that 'secured'.

I politely dismissed the Knight who offered to help me out with anything I needed and just headed straight inside.

The place hadn't changed much, except now there were a lot less dead bodies laying around. I had to put some thought into recreating the exact path we had taken during that wild chase the last time, but eventually I managed to find the storeroom we had hidden in.

What was I even hoping for? That she would still be alive? That I could make amends? Fix the reckless, stupid thing I'd done? Or was I just trying to compensate for Covenant? In a way, both situations were the same. They showed that I couldn't make good decisions. They showed that I shouldn't be left in charge of anything, because I just fucked it up.

My stupid decisions cost Danse and Preston a good portion of their health, and they cost Cait her life. Being friends with me was fucking dangerous. I hurt people. Then _why_...?

Why did I want so much to make things right this time?

I knew the synths weren't a good thing. Not a single thing about their existence was good, or right, or even acceptable. But did that give me the right to condemn a whole species? It wasn't their fault. Just like ghouls, they had no say in the matter. The only thing that remained now was whether I could see them as people. Whether I could actually believe that a machine advanced enough could have its own free will, its own mind and soul.

If Nick Valentine was a regular synth, I wouldn't have a problem. I didn't doubt his humanity and never had. But he wasn't.

The Brotherhood of Steel, especially Elder Maxson, wanted it to be clear that synths were abominations of science that needed to be eradicated. The Minutemen held the agenda that the Institute couldn't replace people with synth duplictes and thus form a society of fear and paranoia. There was a middle ground, sure, but it was not where I stood.

Right now, I felt alienated from both of these points of view. I didn't know what I believed in. What I did know was that I had to find out what had happened to the synth, K1-98. I had left her to die here, fully aware of what I was doing. And I hated myself for it now.

I almost hesitantly looked around the room, not really sure what I was expecting. Did I want to find her dead or alive? I didn't know what I wanted. What I did know was that what I saw wasn't even remotely close to any of the things I'd been expecting.

The glass door to the closet had been shattered, glass shards covering the floor inside... It had been broken from outside. But the Gunners had been dead when I'd been here, and the Brotherhood hadn't fully checked this place out yet.

The girl was gone, too, but there wasn't a single drop of blood or sign of struggle anywhere near.

On the wall, someone had graffitied the symbol of a lantern.

oooOOO***OOOooo

"The Railroad?" MacCready raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"Yeah!" I said. "They're stalking me. Or something. I'm telling you, it's like they've targeted me or-"

"Or _someone's_ paranoia has started to spread," he said, shooting Piper a look.

"I believe you," she offered.

MacCready rolled his eyes, exasperated, and walked away.

"I knew you'd believe me," I said. "It's just that... I don't even know what's right anymore. The Courser... That was a synth. But that girl in Covenant..." I hadn't talked about Covenant for months, I had wanted to push that memory far away. I had wanted to forget what I'd done. "And in Cambridge, too. I don't think they'd done anything bad."

"Meaning..." Piper wrinkled her forehead, looking at me analytically.

"I went back there yesterday. I wanted to help her, even though she was a synth. I just felt so bad about leaving her before... "

"You left?" Piper shook her head. "I don't- I don't understand, Blue. What the heck?"

I explained, with every soul-wretching detail of how terrible and cruel a person I was, and of how much my conscience had been gnawing at me since then. Everything. Because the bottom line was that Piper was the only person I could freely tell everything and who wouldn't condemn me, even if she did judge me.

And she was appalled now.

"I can't believe you. You left... An innocent girl. You left her to die? And that counted as an act of _mercy_ in your eyes?!" she exclaimed. "That's the better option than what? Shooting her right then and there?! You can't decide someone's life- You can't decide on the basis of whether you like them or not. Anyone could be a synth, you know! Would you leave them to death, too? Or would you just kill?! What if it turned out someone you knew was a synth? Preston?! Or MacCready?! Or Danse?!" She looked down. "...Or me?"

 _"Are_ you?" I raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"That's not the point."

"...I know."

"What I mean, Nora, is you can't be that person. Please. I don't want to see my best friend become someone I can't really be friends with. And I can't be friends with this... this woman who can't even stand by one decision." She looked up at me, her eyes shining. "You can either want to condemn all the synths or to save them. Not _choose_."

"But that's morality, Piper," I whispered. "It's choosing who deserves or not to live, no matter if they're human, ghoul, or synth." I strapped my revolver in a holster to my belt. "Ghouls had no say in the matter. It was radiation that made them the way they are." I angrily picked up my backpack. "Synths are _wrong_. I get that you're close with Nicky and all that, but they're _wrong._ They should never have existed."

"You spend too much time with Danse."

"Bugger off, Piper," I muttered. "That's what I believe."

"And that's fine. Just stick to those beliefs, okay?" She put her hand on my forearm. "Nora... just don't let anyone push their agenda onto your own beliefs. That's all I want. For you to stay yourself." She smiled weakly. "That's what I like you for."

A heavy silence fell between us.

"So, you and MacCready, huh?" I grinned unconvincingly. Oh hell, no point in pretending I wasn't hurt when I was. I let that fake smile falter. "How well is that going?"

"Well enough that I don't like him standing over there talking with Myrna," Piper answered with a small laugh. "That give you about enough of a clue?"

It did. Of course it did; it was just as I'd feared it would be. I had wanted to be happy for them, and on some level I was, but I couldn't take that anger out of my heart. I wasn't just jealous, I was frustrated.

I would never find love again. I had had my chance, and I had blown it. I'd had a chance with Hancock and I turned him down, I'd had a chance with MacCready and he'd turned me down, and now I was headed down the road to loneliness.

Well, no, not really loneliness: I still had my friends. But Piper and MacCready were together now, so would be Nick and Ellie, Danse would find someone too because, let's face it, he was a good catch, the same went for Preston, he wouldn't stay single for long, and I would remain all alone.

Friendship is an amazing thing and it can get you through even the hardest of times, but what my heart really yearned for was to love. And to be loved in return.

Was that really so hard to find?

oooOOO***OOOooo

"All set," Haylen patted me on the shoulder. She checked something out in my medical records. "I can officially say you're fit for duty again, Knight-Sergeant."

"Thanks," I said. Stitches out. That's one less thing to do. "Anything else I need to know?"

"Just that your CO was looking for you."

Shit. "Where did he say he'd be?" I asked, trying to play it cool.

"At the bridge, I think. Nora... Take care of yourself. I like you better in one piece."

I smirked. "Sure thing, Haylen. I've got it covered."

I went to the bridge and managed to walk in on a briefing that seemed pretty important.

"Oh, good that you're here," Maxson nodded at me to go in once he noticed me. "This concerns you too, so listen." He joined his hands behind his back. "The Institute have already proven their technological superiority. This won't be an easy campaign, in any terms of understanding. _But_ it will not be a campaign _at all_ unless we find a way to bring the fight to them." He looked at me, or rather at Danse standing next to me. "Not one of our Scribes can decide the encryption on that chip you recovered. It seems impossible. And, as you've proven good at solving impossible tasks thus far... Paladin Danse, I want you to find some kind of way to decrypt this information. It could prove crucial to the course of this war."

"Yes, sir," Danse said evenly. "I'll do my best.

I smirked. I was planning on doing _my_ best.

Maxson shook his head with a smirk of his own. "Of course you will."

And, finally, the magic word that makes every soldier sigh with relief that the official part is over.

"Dismissed."

oooOOO***OOOooo

"So basically, what you're saying is that the Freedom Trail _is_ the right trail?" MacCready crossed his arms. "When Nora and I went there, we didn't find anything. And I swear, there was a lot of searching. Or... fighting, in my case." He glared at me. "Some _other_ people were doing the searching."

I shrugged. "Hey, you were hired help. If I'd known we'd end up being friends, I wouldn't have risked your life so much."

"Gee, thanks, Nora. You're ever so thoughtful."

Piper clapped her hands. "Alright! Listen, I love you both, but if you're gonna fight, I swear I'll kick your asses."

MacCready and I exchanged knowing glances. _Sure she would_.

I crossed my arms. "The deal is this: I don't need any of you guys to do this, alright? I asked you here because I actually _want_ you to come with me. Now, if any one of you feels like this is stupid, or thinks the Railroad doesn't exist, or has any important things to do, you're free to leave. I won't stop you, I won't judge you, I won't even hold a grudge. It's your decision. It's just that you are my friends and I feel a lot more secure when I know you have my back."

They all looked at me, smiling.

"After that, I don't think any of us are gonna leave," MacCready said.

"Good enough." I nodded. "Then let's get underfoot. We don't have much time and we _have to_ get this chip decoded. My best guess is the Railroad. They must've dealt with Institute technology in the past, so it's very possible they understand it at least a little bit. And, to be completely honest with you? I like that one bit much more than the nothing we already have."

"So this is all the code says? Follow the Freedom Trail?" MacCready said. "This will take _days_. We can't check every single historical site in Boston."

"I don't think _everything_ ," Piper disagreed. "Most notably Faneuil Hall, Old North Church, Paul Revere House, and what we now call Goodneighbor, Scollay Square District."

"We can rule out Goodneighbor," I said, looking at the ground. "Just... trust me on this."

"Okay then. So we have three places and four people," she summed up. "We can split up or..."

"Oh no," I said quickly. "Splitting up is a stupid idea when we're about to tangle with a whole organization." I looked at them. "We stick together."

We left Diamond City the same day we had arrived. Thankfully, all of that wasn't as ridiculously far as other places in the Commonwealth. We wanted to check Faneuil Hall first, but we decide to put it off in favor of the other places when it turned out it was still occupied my a large group of super mutants.

Old North Church was next, but as far as I was aware, we could go check Paul Revere's House right away. The place was empty, we had searched it before.

MacCready said so, but Piper and Danse shushed him and went off to search.

"Honestly," I rolled my eyes, "those two make too big a deal out of things sometimes."

"Not Piper," MacCready protested. I leveled a glare at him.

"MacCready, honey? She isn't _here_. You don't have to do that."

He snorted a laugh. "That's one way of putting it."

"You two are _useless_ ," Piper decided, looking at us reproachfully. Reluctantly, we joined in the search.

I didn't think it was going to be a fruitful search. Danse found a feral ghoul; dead. Piper found three; alive. Other than that, pretty much just rubble. A few skeletons on the pews. Just thinking about those people who died here 200 years ago made me all weak. Their last act was to go to church. Make amends with God? Pray? Hide from the inevitable?

Whatever their intentions, they'd all ended up the same way as most of the world. Obliterated. Killed. Eradicated. Turned to ash.

I shook my head, trying not to think about it. Instead, I focused on looking for whatever we were looking for. I wasn't even sure...

"There's some kind of tunnel here," I called out. The passageway was under a pretty unstable debris, easy to overlook. "I think it leads underneath the church, probably some catacombs or something!"

"We didn't see that last time around, did we?" MacCready said. "You think it's important?"

"I don't know," I answered, stepping into the tunnel. "But I think we oughta check it out."

"Well, don't go alone," Danse warned me, quickly catching up with me, the heavy steps of that goddamn power armor making enough noise to wake the dead.

"...Danse?" I said slowly. "Why don't you just lose the power armor for now?"

The debris we were standing on shifted dangerously under the weight.

"You guys," Piper said, sounding genuinely worried, "if I were you, I'd not stand right there."

Danse took a step back and that's when it all went to hell. He stepped on some more loose part of the debris, the whole thing shook and began crumbling, MacCready ran in the stupid direction - our direction - and the ceiling collapsed, right onto us.

I only had the sense to push on the emergency ejaculation control on the back of his power armor before I slipped on something and went tumbling backwards, into the catacombs.


	26. The Road to Freedom, Part 2

**Chapter Twenty-Three  
** **The Road to Freedom, Part 2**

* * *

I coughed, looking around. It was almost completely dark, save for a small space between two large rocks out of the ones that now took up the entire exit.

"Danse? You alright?" I asked and stopped to cough. The damn powder was getting into my throat.

He nodded his head, pressing a hand to his mouth, coughing too. He threw that caution to the wind, though, as soon as he saw the way out entrance was blocked now, by the huge mass of stone material that lay on top of the already existing debris.

"No, not my power armor," he despaired. "Proctor Ingram will have my head!"

"Oh yeah," I snorted. "Because _you_ survived, but that's not what's important. Oh no. It's the _power armor_ that counts."

He glared at me, but instead of a comeback, he settled for an "It's cold in here."

"All the more reason for us to go.'' I pressed myself to the rubble. "You guys still out there?!"

"You're alive, right?! Both of you?!" Piper asked.

"Yeah," I shouted back absently, looking around the dark dungeon. "Listen, we'll try to find some other way out! This tunnel has to lead somewhere!"

"Right," MacCready said. "We'll see you outside! Just don't get killed!"

"We'll try," I muttered. I glanced at Danse. "This would be a good time to make use of that Pip-Boy lamp of yours."

He pressed something on the Pip-Boy and soon enough, we were bathed in a weak, green glow.

I took off my backpack and started going through it until I found a flashlight. I turned it on - it was a much stronger source of light that the Pip-Boy.

"Come on," I said. There was no response. "Danse?"

He didn't react, looking intently at something on the screen of his Pip-Boy.

"Paladin?" I shook him gently. "Sir!"

He shuddered.

"I'm... right behind you, Nora," he said unsurely. "I've simply got a bad feeling about this."

"Well," I pointed my flashlight at the corridor ahead, "you're not the only one."

We set off.

I looked around the dungeon, but there was little I could make out from the darkness on my either side, so I soon gave up. It was cold, dark and the air was unpleasantly humid. I could _feel_ myself getting sick.

After a while, we began finding the ferals. Dead, every single one. I found a body severed and bolted to the wall by some great force.

"Do you know any weapon that could do this?" I asked quietly.

"No, and I don't like it." Danse tried to pull something from the dead ghoul's body. He furrowed his brows in that way he always did when he didn't understand something. "Are those _railway spikes_?"

"Good ammo idea," I noticed. "Sharp _and_ rife."

"This doesn't make me feel any better about facing our enemies."

"Hey, why do you assume they're enemies?" I asked as we rounded another corner. That place was a goddamn labirynth. "We don't know who did this. At least they shot down all those ghouls."

Danse deadpanned. "Nora, these people live in old sewers beneath a church." He almost walked into me. "...Why have you stopped?"

"End of the line," I said. There was only solid wall in front of us. I shone the flashlight in every direction, but there was no continuation to the tunnel anywhere. "Well, this is it - there's no way out. We're gonna die here."

"May I?" Danse took the flashlight away from me (which left me with an uncomfortable feeling of not being in control). He shone at the wall where a bronze Boston Freedom Trail seal was embedded into the concrete. "Look. This is wired to something."

And the wires ran down and disappeared under the wall. "Which means there's something on the other side," I realized.

"Exactly." Danse was all game now. He pushed the light into my hands and went to inspect the seal. "It spins," he noticed. There was a small arrow, currently pointing to the letter S in BOSTON. He experimentally spun it around. I could swear I'd seen that before...

I had seen that before. If I could only recall... There had been some sort of code on the other seals. Cait and I had spent a good deal of time examining them. If I could only...

Something clicked and I jolted my head up at Danse. "What did you do?" I asked.

"It seems to work like a safe," he said. "Only bigger and less complicated. Something in the mechanism jumped into place when I aligned the arrow with an R," he explained.

"So it starts with R," I grinned. "All right!"

"...What does?"

"The password," said quickly. "I thought it was some kind of code before, but now I think it's more like a word. You just need to input it into this mechanism and something'll happen. Cait and I checked out three more of those, along the Freedom Trail. 3-I, 7-A, and 5-R. This wasn't a code, those were coordinates. Letters in this word. It's like a crossword puzzle! We just need a word that begins with R and has I, R, and D in it. Like... Raiders!" I exclaimed.

Danse raised an eyebrow. "Or maybe Railroad?"

I cleared my throat awkwardly. "Yeah, that... That works too."

He just shook his head at me and input the letters AILROAD into the mechanism. There was no effect.

"Told you, it's Raiders," I said. Something witihin the mechanism clicked.

"Are you so sure about that now?" Danse asked pointedly when a large section of the wall slid up, revealing yet another dark tunnel.

"Why does everyone have secret passages?" I complained. "I want one too."

"Look alive, Nora, this isn't a time or place for jokes," Danse noticed. He shone the flashlight into the newly-opened tunnel, but it ended not far ahead, turning into a large room. "Shall we?"

"Ladies first," I said, and entered the tunnel.

Before I had the chance to register what was going on, we had a spotlight pointed straight at us, Danse quickly pushed me behind himself, I heard the click of a gun and we were suddenly surrounded by several heavily armed people.

"Stop right there," a woman said in a voice that was so calm and commanding at the same time that I actually lowered the pistol I had just readied.

She stepped forward into the light. She was the only person who seemingly didn't have a gun on her, though I knew appearances like that were deceptive. It was clear she was in charge here.

"Drop your weapons," she said.

"We don't have any," I spoke before thinking. "We're farmers, from a local settlement. We found these catacombs by accident."

"Of course. And you just _happened_ to guess the password to our secret door."

"Fine," I growled. I glared at the people. "You win."

I took my laser pistol and threw it on the ground in front of me, then did the same with my revolver. That pile was soon largened by Danse's laser rifle and assault rifle.

" _All_ your weapons?" The woman asked, clearly unconvinced.

I sighed, pulled out my combat knife, and threw it on the pile. Danse hesitantly put a sheaf of pulse grenades nearby.

"Drummer Boy, check them, will you?" she ordered. One of the people holding guns at us, a young man still in his teens, put away his weapon and walked up to us.

He didn't have to search for long, because Danse's jacket turned out to be full of all sorts of dangerous objects. The pile of weapons in front of us was soon joined by a shock baton, two laser pistols, a taser, a sheaf of frag grenades, and two knives.

"Is that all?" the woman asked, clearly amused.

Danse wrinkled his nose, but he parted with his jackknife too.

"Well, I see how you're just farmers," she laughed.

I glared at her.

"We did what you wanted. There you have us, harmless." I crossed my arms. "I deserve an explanation, then."

"Well, forgive me for being overly cautious. I'm sure you went through a lot of effort to arrange this meeting. But it doesn't mean you'll get to dictate conditions. Down here, your word doesn't matter." She looked down at me. "And I ask the questions. What brought you here?"

"We were looking for the Railroad," Danse answered calmly. "And if I'm right to believe so, we've found it."

"That's cocky, but not far from the truth." She smiled. "You're right. I'm Desdemona, and I'm the leader of the Railroad. Now, what I'm interested is in who _you_ are."

The _leader_ of the Railroad. This was gonna be fun.

"Look, there's no point keeping you alive if you don't speak. How did you find us? Are you in league with the Institute..." She drifted off to sigh with reprobate as one particularly late Railroad agent ran into the room. "Deacon! Where the hell have you been?"

"Sorry. Got held up, a couple of scavvers were snooping around the church." _Piper and MacCready!_ Deacon looked around and only then seemed to notice us. He acted surprised. "Oh, you're setting up a party! What gives my invitation?" he asked with a cocky grin.

"Be serious," Desdemona glared at him. "Care to explain how come someone's managed to find us?"

He looked at me from over his sunglasses (why wear sunglasses under the ground?) and grinned. Impossibly, I recognized the junkie from Goodneighbor and the trader from Diamond City.

"You," I said through gritted teeth.

"And nice to see _you_ again."

"You know each other?" Desdemona and Danse said it at the same time - which was kind of funny, looking at it objectively. Except I was not objective.

"I can't say that we've met personally," Deacon smiled widely. "But if you all seriously don't know who this is, you should _get out_ more. This girl is kinda a big deal up there."

"Oh," I smiled. "Cute. Sounds like I have a stalker."

"Just doing my job. And to be honest, you haven't been exactly subtle on your adventures across the Commonwealth."

"Subtle," I said honestly, though trying to seem more confident than I was, "is not my style."

"Who's she?" Desdemona demanded. "Stop playing around, Deacon."

"Gee. Fine, fine. That there's Knight-Sergeant Nora of the Brotherhood of Steel - she's also the Second General of the Minutemen, if that doesn't sound impressive enough. The guy with her is Paladin Danse, also from the Brotherhood of Steel. They've been doing stuff all over the Commonwealth for the last like two weeks, from actually launching that ship from the building to clearing out a Deathclaw colony... And if they're here, I have a pretty good guess what they want."

"What _do_ you want?" She asked us.

We exchanged glances.

"We want to take war to the Institute," I said evenly. "We need a way inside."

"And you think we have one?" The woman laughed. "If we did, we wouldn't need to hide in places like this."

"We've obtained a Courser chip," Danse said hesitantly. "People say only you can get it decoded."

He probably didn't want to mention that the Brotherhood's specialists weren't able to do it.

"You." Desdemona looked at us. "Fought a Courser. And survived."

"I told you, they are a _big_ _deal_."

"Shut up, Deacon." She crossed her arms. "Alright. It's a deal - as long as one of you stays here as deposit."

I didn't like it - it reminded me too much of what had gone down in Covenant.

We looked at each other. I hung my head.

"Well, just go," I said. "You're the boss, you should negotiate."

"No, you should go," he disagreed. I looked up. "The Institute is your matter, not mine - both personally and professionally. You just deserve to know, Nora. It _is_ your son, after all."

"Thank you." I knit my eyebrows, unable to fight a smile. "And, Danse?"

"...Yes?"

"Did you shield me with your body back there?"

"Yes, I..." He ran a hand through his hair with what looked like a blush. "I suppose I did, yes."

"You really don't have to do that. I _can_ take care of myself, on my own." _Damn it, Nora, someone is being nice to you for a change and you just shut them out. Great job._

I quickly set off, not waiting for him to talk back. Actually, I was afraid he would.

He did - in just a whisper, barely audible to me as I walked away from him. "I know you can."

I followed Desdemona deeper into the catacombs, painfully aware of the two Railroad agents escorting me with their guns drawn.

She stopped once we reached a door that was certainly newer than the rest of the tunnels. She put her hand on the knob, but didn't open it.

"Before we go any further, I need you to tell me something," she said.

I held my head up high. "Don't you people know everything already?"

"Deacon is... a very specific person. It is his job in this outfit to know things, but not necessarily to share everything with everyone. I know about you about as much as he just said. That's why I have to know... On whose behalf are you here?"

"Huh." I crossed my arms. "Good question, lady. Very good. Look, I don't know if your little spy-"

"I'm not a spy," Deacon protested.

"-told you, but I'm not that easily classified. I'm a soldied in the Brotherhood of Steel. I'm an officer in the Minutemen. I'm a detective in the Valentine Detective Agency. I'm something you people apparently call a Vault dweller. I'm a honorary guard in Mayor Hancock's Neighborhood Watch. I'm also a mercenary sometimes, when it suits me." I raised my eyebrows at her. "You ask on whose behalf I'm here. Puzzler."

"I don't think that's an answer that-" Deacon began, but I shot him a look. He shut up.

"If you wanna know, I'm here on my own behalf. I'm a mother. My husband is dead, and my son's been kidnapped. Getting the data from this chip decrypted is my only chance for seeing him again." I took a step back. "So there you have it. That's all I have to say."

Desdemona exhaled slowly. She pushed the door open.

"That's a good answer," she said quietly.

The catacombs had been redesigned into a rather state-of-the-art (for Wasteland conditions) base of operations, a large tomb in the middle of the chamber serving as a table, with the map of Boston and surrounding areas spread on it. Several workbenches and bunk beds were lined along the walls, and I could spot a crude shooting range in the corner. There were also some people there, but not many.

"I'm just gonna run this by our tech specialist," Desdemona said. "Will you...?"

I reached into my pocket and fished out the chip. Before handing it to her, I hesitated. "Hold on... What do you get out of this?" If there was one thing I had learned about the Wasteland, it was that people never did things just out of their good will. Even those I considered my closest friends were like that. "You're not doing this for free."

"I'm glad you asked." She was clearly doing her best to sound friendly, but once I'd become suspicious, it was hard to throw me off that. "We've been waiting for an opportunity like this for years. Even if this isn't a way to enter the Institute, the data on this chip is very valuable. All I want in return for decoding it is to keep the original."

"No way," I said without thinking. "Deal's off."

"No chip, no data. It's as simple as that." Desdemona held the same pose stance as me. "I'm not negotiating. This is how it is."

I really wanted to ask Piper or Danse for advice, but, of course, I was alone.

 _Why is there always no one there when I have to make these decisions?!_

"God, you're glad I've no choice! There." I pushed the chip into her hand. "Just take it."

She nodded, smiling lightly. That really took years off her face. "We'll try to be as quick as we can."

I didn't even pretend I was happy with that, but I truly had no choice. They had taken away all my weapons and practically taken a hostage and I was only here on their hospitality.

An unwanted thought crossed my mind that they could just kill us both and take all that Institute data without any hassle.

"This could take a while."

I almost jumped up in fear. "God Almighty!"

"Yeah." Deacon crossed his arms. "Anyway, this could take a while... I could show you around, but this is supposed to be our _secret_ base, so you know. If you could just maybe hang around one place, that'd be great. I gotta go check some things now."

"Wait, uh... Those people looking around the church. A boy and a girl, around twenty years old, maybe?"

"Dunno. I think it was that reporter from Diamond City."

"Yeah, that's what I was afraid of," I said. "They're with me. Try not to, you know..."

He nodded. "Got it."

He walked away, leaving me standing there on my own, among all those strangers... Okay, to be fair, there couldn't be more than ten people in there. But still, the Railroad. Wow. I had been back and forth concerning them, with phases of not even believing they existed... But yet here I was. This was real and tangible and... Well, I hoped they wouldn't find out we'd ruined their entrance anytime soon, and that they had some back door.

"Hi there." A woman with dark skin and bright hair leaned on the wall next to me. She seemed friendly enough - despite the many, _many_ weapons holstered on her back. "So you're that outsider Deacon's been talking about. You're glad to be alive. Not many people get to see HQ and live." If this was a threat, it didn't sound so. "So, what do you think?"

"Honestly?" I asked, silently wondering if it was good sense to fraternize with these people. We might end up being enemies soon. "Impressed. There are... few of you. Fewer than I'd thought."

She waved a hand. "Oh, what you see here is just the inner circle. Plenty of people who help us out lead normal lives up on the surface." She offered me a handshake. "The name's Glory, by the way."

"I'm Nora." I shook her hand. "So, Glory. That's a beautiful name."

"Thanks. Chose it myself," she smirked. "The angel of death. Behold, the poster-child of a liberated synth."

"You're a synth?" I asked. Suddenly, I felt a whole lot less safe.

"That's what the 'Made in the Institute' stamp on my ass says," Glory joked.

I looked around nervously. Just a few seconds ago, I'd been surprised by how few of them there were. Now, I was scared. How many of those people weren't actually human? Possibly many.

But, on the other hand, this was my perfect chance to learn something. Get intel on the enemy. And all things considered, the real enemy wasn't the Railroad.

"Can you... tell me about the Institute?" I asked. "About synths? I have so many questions."

"So does everyone," she noticed. "You all think I may know some top-secret info, but all the time in the Institute... Well, all I was for them was a thinking, feeling hammer. I helped them make more synths. 'Synth Development', they called it."

"How- How do they make synths?"

"Hell if I know," Glory shrugged. She was approaching this so calmly... "The machines are... massive. Complicated. Unlike anything I've seen up here." She sighed. "Listen here, Nora. I don't know who the hell you are or what your business is. But since you're not involved with the Railroad, I'll give you something to live by." She looked around. "Despite what Dez and the others might say, synths ain't human. We're assembled bone by bone, muscle by muscle. I've seen it first-hand." She leaned her head back, looking at the ceiling. "Keep that in mind next time you meet one of my kind."

She clenched her fists. "I think I'll hit the range. I need to shoot something. _Now_."

She quickly walked away. I stared after her, shaken to the core. _If she hadn't said..._

There was no way I would have been able to tell she wasn't human.

"You got a Courser chip?!" Before I knew what was going on, someone had their arms around me. I firmly pushed the man away, but he kept talking without pause. "And you managed to kill one of those babies? Good riddance! For the Institute, of course. But are you _sure_ they didn't just let you take it? The Institute have all sorts of ways to get what they want out there, honest. I mean, you gotta be careful with everything in the Wasteland, everything! You're safe here, sure... Or so they would have you think! The tests all lie. I swear, nothing you can be sure about in the Commonwealth!" He hyperventilated and paused for almost a second. "Now, this is important: have you eaten _anything_ out there? Because if you have, they got you!"

"I've eaten _food_..." I said unsurely.

"Oh no, that's what I was afraid of. The Institute has these tiny microscopic robots in the food - and they report back! So if you ever find a-"

"Well, I see you've met Tom," Desdemona thankfully interrupted that living ball of Jet before he could talk me to death. And I'd thought _Piper_ was paranoid. "He's our best technology expert. If anyone can crack this code, it's him."

I gave him a weak smile, a bit overwhelmed. "Hi."

"Decoding a Courser chip is a very delicate operation," Desdemona said. "A million things can go wrong - the least of which is losing the data. Not to be too grim, but-"

"Oh, it'll be alright!" Tom grinned, starting up a crudely rigged computer terminal. "All right, little Courser chip. Let's have the circuit analyzer have a crack at you."

He started typing on the keyboard with lightning speed, the fastest I've ever seen a person go. A long string of numbers and letters that didn't really make sense to me was displayed on the screen, but the hacker did his job well - he evaded all the traps in the system, was overjoyed when he found out they used 'the same logarithmic function as the base generator' and eventually gave a cry of joy.

"Job done!" he exclaimed. "Got that data. Let me load that onto a holotape for you."

I crossed my arms, a bit surprised. That had gone fast.

"Good work, Tom," Desdemona smiled.

He shrugged, still working on the terminal. "Not sure our luck will hold up next time, Dez."

"And you." She turned to me. "I want to be clear; if you use this data and discover something about the Institute, you share it with us. Otherwise, our relationship will be in jeopardy."

Great. The last thing I needed was another enemy. Or potentially an enemy. Still, I took that holotape, hid in my pocket, and let them escort me out. Danse and I gathered all our things under the watchful eyes of the Railroad agents and I was feeling unwelcome again. The moment was over. I was an intruder again.

"We're gonna have you out through the back entrance," Glory said, motioning at us to go with her minigun (a _minigun_!). "But one condition: you're blindfolded. We can't have you know how to get here."

"Cover our eyes so that we can't resist?" Danse asked. "Do you think we're going to agree?"

"Hey," I said with an encouraging smile, "you can trust me on this. It'll be fine."

"Yes, and if I get killed now, I want my gravestone to say _'He trusted his partner'_ ," he murmured.

I put my hands on his shoulders.

"I don't know who taught you sarcasm," I said, "but you need to _stop_."

We let them guide us out through some tunnel with many twists and turns on the way. Eventually, there was a ladder. We had to climb that blindfolded too, which was something of a hassle in my case. Then, when I could finally feel the air around me, they still took us away from the place where we surfaced - I suspect _that_ was what they really wanted to hide.

I reluctantly took off my blindfold, noticing that Danse was doing the same.

One of the Railroad's agents, Deacon, had stayed and was observing us with his arms crossed across his chest. I reached for my gun, but he pointed a finger at me.

"Nonono," he tutted. "None of that just yet." He put a hand on his hip. "You two _behave_ , alright? You got your stupid combination and data, now you _leave_." He looked at me in a way that said the opposite thing.

Deacon cocked his head, as if judging us. He grabbed Danse's wrist and pulled him very close, their faces just an inch apart.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Danse exclaimed, breaking free and jumping back to stand beside me.

Deacon laughed. "Oh, this is rich," he exclaimed. We stared at him, but he didn't pay it much mind. He did a two-fingered salute in Danse's direction. "We'll see each other again. Cross my heart."

He then just pushed his hands into his pockets and walked away.

"Why do I get the idea that he was a lot more interested in you than me?" I complained. I patted my chest pocket. "Doesn't matter. We've got the data, that's what matters."

It didn't take us long to get back to the church, where we found MacCready and Piper, waiting by a campfire.

"What happened?!" Piper asked. I winced at her tone.

"Well, in good news, we've found the Railroad," I said.

"I knew it!" She exclaimed.

 _"And_ they kinda hate us."

"Well, couldn't you be nicer?" she exclaimed. "Great job, Blue! Now all I know is they're out there."

"Piper..." MacCready put his hands on her shoulders. She relaxed a bit.

"Right. Sorry, Blue. I'm glad you guys made it out okay." She looked at me. "What now? We got the data, what do we do with it?"

oooOOO***OOOooo

"What do I do with this now?"

Virgil stared at me. "You're still alive," he said. "Last time I saw you, I was sending you to fight a Courser. I usually don't expect people to come back from something like that. Although I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised, given you're the one who ended Kellogg." He shook his head. "How did you get it decoded?"

"The Railroad helped me," I said without hesitation, using a name he couldn't even know.

"Oh my god. Those kooks?" Virgil's expression was indescribable. "I would have thought they're too busy trying to liberate vending machines or setting toasters free."

So _that's_ how fighting for synth rights looked for normal people. Huh.

Virgil rubbed his forehead. "Sorry, they just have something of a reputation. But on another note, I think I have good news for you. I'll have you know," he opened a drawer and pulled out a stack of papers, "you're not the only one who's been busy."

He handed the papers to me.

"I did what I could, from memory and things I've overheard through the years. I managed to come up with some schematics for you, though it wasn't easy - these hands are ridiculous. Fine motor skills have gone to shit."

"Schematics, cool," I said, flipping through the pages. They resembled more a child's drawings than serious scientific plans. "What are these for?"

"I'll give you the simple explanation. You'll have to build a device that will hijack the signal the Institute uses to molecularly relay Coursers, and have it send you instead."

"So, basically, a teleporter," I summed up. "Kinda crazy."

"You haven't heard the best part yet. Know that classical music station? That's the carrier signal for the relay." He chuckled at my shocked expression. "I know. All the data's encrypted on harmonic frequencies. You've all been listening to it all along."

"That's just cruel," I complained. I knew the Wasteland hated me, but this was almost ironic. Classical Radio was my favorite radio station. "Is there anything else?"

Virgil nervously cleared his throat. "I wanna be clear; this is... _very far_ from my area of expertise. I was in Bioscience, not Advanced Systems or Engineering or anything like that."

"...That's good enough," I said, but I was unsure. So there was literally no certainty this would even work.

"For the record, I haven't made any promises."

I laughed bitterly. "Rest assured, I'm not gonna nag you about it if I die."

"Fair enough." He remained serious. "If you do manage to build the device and use that code, you should be able to override the signal from the Institute's relay. Can you?" He blinked. "Can you do it, I mean. This is too much for one person to handle, even someone like you. I hope you've got friends that can help you."

Friends? That was the one thing I was sure I had. The Brotherhood, the Minutemen... They would help me. I knew they would.

I grinned.

"Do _not_ worry. I have it all covered."

oooOOO***OOOooo

"I have it all covered," I mocked myself angrily. "Why'd I have to go saying that? Why? Why? Ugh!" I flicked myself. "Of course I don't have it covered!"

I had friends. Of course I had.

In fact, lately it had seemed I had _too many_ friends.

Because now I was facing a very grave choice: which of my friends would be the best choice for this venture. Clearly, all those groups I was involved with weren't especially keen on working together. If they didn't want to work together, some of them would just have to bear with not working at all. As to who to go to now... Well.

My first thought was, obviously, the Brotherhood of Steel. If there was anyone in the Wasteland technologically advanced enough to stand up to the Institute, it was the Brotherhood. And the amount of work and supplies something like that would take was too much for a small group of people. But could I be sure that Elder Maxson would approve of my plan? It was pretty risky, after all.

Then there were the Minutemen. If I needed help, they would help. I was sure of that. But they were barely organized enough to maintain order in the Commonwealth, much less build an actual _teleporter_. Maybe I was being overly skeptical, but I didn't feel comfortable trusting them with something that big.

The Railroad were the only ones who knew how the Institute's technology worked, but I was under the impression they pretty much hated me now that I had made my loyalty to the Brotherhood so clear. But I didn't want that. I didn't want my relationship with them to be entirely dependent on my relationship with the Brotherhood of Steel. Maybe I could do something about that.

The Railroad... Just two weeks ago, I wouldn't have even considered teaming up with the likes of them. Not only the whole covert-secrecy-spying operating, but helping out synths, too. Those had all been things that didn't agree with my nature. Or they had been so several days ago. Now?

Well, I'd gone through a lot in the last few days.

Who would have thought I'd actually venture into the Glowing Sea all by myself? Not me, that's for sure. But for now, that was how it was. Danse was back at the Prydwen giving a status report to Elder Maxson (finally, we had something to report!), Piper and MacCready had gone to Diamond City due to some political stirrings regarding synths and Piper, being Piper, had to be right in the middle of it all, Preston was trying to rile up the Minutemen's mojo after the whole Cambridge fiasco... Who else? Hancock couldn't leave Goodneighbor at a time like this. (Not _again_ , at least - last time around, we'd gotten into a week-long mess.) Nick Valentine was engaged in the Winter case and I didn't want to disturb him...

All my other friends were dead now.

Just on the edge of the Glowing Sea, I encountered a group of raiders holed up in a pre-war fallout shelter. I wasn't afraid of charging into combat without backup - I had my power armor, after all. That stuff was amazing.

I knew I was terrible at shooting, and even more miserable with melee weapons, but that additional protection was all I needed. Plus, they were raiders, let's face it - poorly-equipped junkies with a hierarchy based on strength and brutality doesn't add up to very dangerous opponents.

I tried not to kill them all, satisfied with just having them retreat into their base. _They_ had attacked me, not the other way around, after all. I didn't have time for this.

As I turned to leave, I caught a glimpse of the name of that fallout shelter - Vault 95.

Vault 95. This place had been Cait's only hope of getting clean.

 _Cait._

I gritted my teeth. Oh, those Institute bastards were getting it. They would pay. They would pay for everything they had done, to me and to everyone else. And the sooner, the better. I would get there and kick their asses, no discussion.

My choice was clear now.

It had always been.

oooOOO***OOOooo

"I have a way to infiltrate the Institute," I said, "using a device called the signal interceptor."

Proctor Ingram regarded my serious expression for a long moment. "Elder Maxson mentioned you have an idea," she said finally. "Alright. Tell me what your miracle device does."

"I'm not really sure," I admitted reluctantly. "Ask Paladin Danse, he'll explain all the science behind it - all I know is it's teleportation, using the Institute's own technology."

"Teleportation?" she exclaimed. "That's pretty sci-fi, if you ask me."

I handed her Virgil's schematics. "I've got some blueprints."

She flipped through the pages and her eyes grew wider by the second. "Molecular transmission via encrypted RF ways?" She laughed like a small child that's been given a toy. "Okay, even I have to admit that's genius. Oh! This explains why we've been picking up anomalous energy readings all over the Commonwealth! Not to mention how they manage to get their tin soldiers out of damn walls. And this little beauty," she poked the plans with a finger, "allows you to literally hijack a return signal. Instead of grabbing the intended target, it grabs you instead. Impressive."

"Please, spare me the jargon. I work with Paladin Danse, for God's sakes. Don't you think I hear enough scientific mumbo-jumbo from that geek?" I rolled my eyes. "What matters is, do you think your team can build it?"

Ingram pointed at the Prydwen. "I can keep that flying pile of junk in the air," she laughed, "which means I already can work miracles. But here... It's difficult to make out the details, this looks like it's been drawn by a kid... Whoa, we're gonna need a massive power source to keep the signal interceptor running." She suddenly looked worried. "I'll run this by Maxson. Dana?" She stopped a Scribe who was walking past us.

"Yes, ma'am?" Dana asked with a smile.

"I'm gonna need as many tech experts as we can spare. Can you go up to the Prydwen and ask for... let's see, Proctor Taegan... Paladin Hudson... Star Paladin Havoc... Proctor Quinlan, Paladin Danse, Paladin Tristan, and Scribe Neriah."

Scribe Dana nodded and walked away in the direction of the airport proper. Ingram looked at me. "And you. You should go report to Elder Maxson. Or better yet, come with me now."

We took a vertibird to the Prydwen and found the team assembled by Scribe Dana already at the bridge. Ingram and I explained to the Elder and the officers who weren't yet familiar with the idea, and waited for them to take in the idea.

"Teleportation." Maxson's eyes were dark like a sky before the storm as he looked out the window, absently stroking his beard. "It sounds improbable at the very least." He sighed and turned around to face the rest of us. "Desperate times call for desperate measures. I will allow this proposition. Proctor Ingram, Proctor Taegan, I hope your teams are up for the task."

"They are," Taegan assured him.

"And Paladin Hudson, your endeavor in the Glowing Sea?"

"I'm... stepping along, sir." Paladin Hudson was a bit reluctant to report.

"In that case, you're dismissed. I don't think you're needed for this project to proceed." Maxson turned to me. "The same goes for you. However this sounds, there is literally nothing I have for you to do right now." He crossed his arms. "You've earned this, Sergeant. Take a few days off. It will be a while before we manage to build this, ah..."

"Reflector platform," Proctor Ingram suggested mercifully.

"Reflector platform," Elder Maxson nodded. "And all the other parts."

"Quantum harmonizer, photon emitter, a few relay dishes," Danse counted aloud. "That might actually take a while." He looked at the Elder. "Are you certain you don't want us to look for scrap parts? This might require some specialized materials."

"Well, I didn't mean to, but since you're _volunteering..._ "

Danse blinked. "Wait."

"Very well, I'll only relieve Nora off duty. Thank you _so much_ , Paladin." He managed to keep it all in a joking undertone, but I had a strange feeling he was being serious at the same time. I giggled. Ingram had to cover her smirk, too. Maxson looked at me. "Unless you're not happy with that, either."

"Oh no," I assured him, "I'm not complaining. Not in the slightest."

Oh, I sure as hell wasn't complaining about this. In a way, this was all I could possibly wish for. _This is just perfect._

oooOOO***OOOooo

I looked around nervously. I had made sure I wasn't being followed at least a hundred times, and yet I was still feeling uneasy.

The sewers underneath Boston were much like I should expect from eighteenth-century sewers after centuries and centuries and then an apocalypse - dirty, dark, damp, and all around unpleasant. Still, I was determined to make it through. I had been looking in underground tunnels all over Old North End for the past few hours and I'd had enough. But this was the only way of contacting the Railroad I knew of.

Funnily enough, they'd seemed to contact me without a hassle before. Now, when I actually _wanted_ to find them, it was all impossible.

I didn't even have a watch to see what time it was. I'd been here for a while now, and the sun had already set when I'd entered the underground. No better place to spend the night than some questionable tunnels, right?

At least it was getting a tad less dark in here. There were some candles standing by the wall. I still didn't want to turn out my flashlight, though. I had a bad feeling about this whole place. Even if not the Railroad, something was lurking in this darkness just outside my field of vision and...

Someone pressed me against the wall.

"Hey!" I cried out before a hand was roughly pressed against my mouth. I took a look at the attacker and immediately recognized Deacon, the trademark sunglasses on his nose even though we were underground. He looked around before slowly letting go of me.

"You have to be more stealthy than that," he complained. "Or else you won't make the cut."

I stared at him. "But how-" I looked around, but there was noplace he could have hidden. "Where did you come from?! I didn't see a thing!"

He put a finger on my lips. "Tone down." I nodded.

"But you- I swear you weren't here!"

"It's a professional secret. Maybe I'll tell you one day." He looked around. "Is your boyfriend coming, by the way?"

"Danse is not my boyfriend."

Deacon raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. "I don't see it." He shrugged. "Either way. So he's not coming, and from the looks of it, no one else is coming. You're here alone, so it probably means you didn't sell us out to the Institute. Thanks!" He smiled.

"Um... No problem," I said semi-nervously. "Listen, can I please talk to your boss? I've been thinking a lot about what she said before and..."

"You wanna join."

"No," I said quickly. "I mean, yes. Yes and no. It's... I don't know yet."

Deacon slowly nodded his head. "Oh kay," he said in the most patronizing voice ever. He motioned at me to follow him. "Keep up now if you wanna get to HQ. Thanks for destroying our main entrance, by the way. Do you have any idea how much hassle that was?"

"Sorry," I said quietly.

A few more tunnels and doors, and we ended up getting to Railroad HQ through some kind of back entrance. I tried to remember how to get there, just in case.

"Well, you were right, Dez," Deacon called out from the very entrance. "She did come back!"

Desdemona looked at him, looking as tired as a person could. She reluctantly left her place behind a table. It dawned on me that it was the middle of the night. Pun... not intended.

"Deacon?" She cleared her throat.

"Yeah."

"Why aren't you letting my people sleep in peace?" She didn't wait for an answer. "Tone down. A lot."

"Gotcha, boss. And look what I brought!" He motioned towards me.

"Deacon. Lower decibel. Please."

"Yeah, 'course." He paid no mind to any of that. "Shoot. You guys were trying to sleep here?" He looked around theatrically.

"Where _trying_ is the key word," Glory mumbled, sitting up angrily. "Hi, Deacon. Whatcha got there?"

"Nora here wants to join our cause," Deacon said proudly, as if it were his doing.

"I'm _considering_ ," I corrected him. "Look, I really didn't mean to barge in here in the middle of the night. It's just that I've been trying to get in contact with you people for days now... Look, I know we didn't meet on the best of terms. But hey! Who gives a shit about first impressions?"

They exchanged glances. I sighed, dropped my shoulders, stared at the ground.

"It's stupid, I know. Synths. Humans. It's all wrong." I took in a breath. "But I really want to work with you to try to make it right."

Deacon nodded, clearly satisfied, but he didn't say a word. Desdemona looked at me.

"Don't think of us as desperate," she said. "You've already proven you would be a dangerous enemy... and a valuable ally, I'm certain. In truth, this is all politics. The world's gone to hell, people are more political now than ever before. You must know, working with the Brotherhood of Steel."

I nodded. "So does this mean you'll take me in?" I asked.

She slowly exhaled. "I've only got one question for you. The only question that matters. Would you put your life on the line to save a fellow man... Even if that man was a synth?"

That was all they wanted to know?

"It depends on the circumstances," I said honestly. I would put my life on the line for Nick Valentine, but I had left that woman to die a week ago. "Every situation is different."

Desdemona shook her head.

"There's no in between. You're either a friend of the synths or an enemy."

"There _is_ an in between. A wise man once said that you can't expect morality to work in the same in every case, because then morality would be useless."

They looked at me without a word.

"I don't believe that the very existence of synths is a good thing," I said quietly. "Humans shouldn't be allowed to tamper with nature. To play God. But... Neither do I believe those synths should be killed for simply _being_. They were created, and that's wrong, but killing them is killing sentient, thinking people. It's wrong too."

No one said anything.

"I know it doesn't exactly agree with your agenda," I admitted. "But I do believe - I firmly believe - that there's a golden mean between you and the Brotherhood. You're both wrong in some aspects." I bit my lip, unsure if I should go on. "But maybe if you somehow learned to work together...?"

I had gone too far.

"I just want to know if you're with us or the Brotherhood of Steel," Desdemona said warily. "Because I might have second thoughts about letting you in here. Who are you with?"

"Neither," I said quickly. "Both. I don't know. I already joined the Brotherhood, I can't exactly leave without it being seen as desertion. But I wanna help out you guys too. Is that wrong?" I was talking a bit too quickly now, but I went on. "I don't think that's wrong. I wanna fight the Institute because they destroyed my life, what's wrong with that? Everyone understands what revenge is. Why do people get so worked up when I start talking about ideology? I share many ideals with the Brotherhood of Steel, that's why I joined up. But you don't seem like bad people either, so I thought I might join you too-"

"Fine, fine." Desdemona waved a hand. "Just... Stop talking. Or slow down at least."

I was glad to shut up.

"My only question is why we should even trust you. Your devotion to the Brotherhood of Steel is quite obvious."

I shot her a glare.

"I came here, for one," I pointed out. "In the middle of the night, secretly, without telling folks from the Brotherhood. That alone smells like treason to me."

"Fair point," Glory noticed.

Desdemona looked at her, then at me. "You can help out," she said finally. "I hope not to regret this. You can help with trafficking synths on the surface, especially given your connections. You can-"

"You want to make her a tourist?" Deacon looked at the ground with a pained expression. "What a waste."

"If you're so touched, what would _you_ do?"

"What would I do?" He repeated. "I'd make her an agent right away! An inside contact in the Brotherhood of Steel, Dez. That doesn't happen often. And she's involved with the Minutemen too! It's kinda unfair that we would be left out."

"Okay, no," I protested, "see, now it's as though I'm some kind of special treat or something. I'm not special!" I looked around at all the people who were looking at me. "I'm not, I swear. I can't even shoot a gun, I'm terrible at sneaking, I have no social skills, I don't know my way around machines or..."

"She took out a Courser," Deacon interrupted me. "Talked herself into the Neighborhood Watch and the Brotherhood of Steel. She's managed to convince the current General of the Minutemen to become thus much. Sure, she may not be some special ops agent, but man, oh man, can this woman talk!"

He put a hand to his forehead. "Look, I'm vouching for Nora. She's got what it takes and besides, she actually wants to help synths! She's _it_ , Dez. Take my word for it."

"You're vouching for her," Desdemona raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah."

"So you're fine with the responsibility. If she goes down, you go down together."

Deacon looked at her without blinking. (At least so I assumed, as he was wearing the dark sunglasses.) "She won't."

"And you," she turned to me. "You need to accept all the risks of this line of work. The Railroad isn't some child's play. It's serious, dangerous business. We're helping those who generally aren't helped, which brings some antagonism from society. You need to accept that." She crossed her arms. "Furthermore. Everything that happens here, the location of HQ, the names of the people here, it's all top secret. We're here protecting our agents' identities. You need a codename, like everyone else here. We have Deacon and Glory. We _had_ Whispers, Bishop, Emerald, Bullseye, Lucky, Trench, Ocelot..."

I suddenly realized why the Railroad were so few. There had been more - they were all just dead.

"Codename?" I repeated, my throat somehow dry as I thought about all those dead agents. Somehow, joining the Railroad felt like I was putting my own name on that list.

"You don't _have_ to use a codename," Glory said. "It's just for safety reasons. _Or_ if you really hate your real name."

Deacon glared at her. "Shut up."

Safety reasons. So this couldn't be anything Brotherhood of Steel-related. Although I could call myself Paladin, that would be fun. Or Maverick - didn't Piper refer to Danse that way once?

Piper.

I grinned as all of a sudden, it hit me. The perfect codename. One that I was sure belonged to me.

"You can call me Blue."

oooOOO***OOOooo

If I had thought partnering up with Danse was weird, I clearly hadn't had a good measure. Because Deacon took it to the next level.

He started off with this weird talk about partnering up and having someone watch your back, and all that, then went on to disprove exactly every single thing he had said.

He would avoid travelling together with me and preferred to meet up at a rendezvous point instead, he would say some seriously confusing stuff (like the very concerning fact that he was a synth too), or some stuff that I was sure was just downright nonsense. He would show up when and where I least expected him, always in a completely different outfit. I found out that Elvis hair of his was a wig, like many more I soon got used to seeing him in.

Deacon was a perfect actor - when it came to camouflage, at least - and his costumes never ceased to amaze me. A Diamond City guard was probably the most impressive. Although I got pretty startled when I was running some errand for one of the settlements allied with the Minutemen and he showed up in a perfect Minuteman's outfit, complete with a militia hat.

What was angering me was that I couldn't put my finger on the man. We worked very closely together, so you'd think we became friends soon or something, but he was about as much of a mystery as anyone could be. He showered me with so much information that I didn't even know what to believe, if any of it.

With enough hard work, Preston and I managed to pull the Minutemen from the ground. So far we were good, but that stagger had made us realize just how unstable our situation was.

Sturges was the one who came up with the idea of the radio and I have got to admit, I hadn't given him enough credit before. It was ingenious. Besides, the calm violin music we transmitted over what was now called Radio Freedom was a welcome change from the poorly-conducted Diamond City Radio and the Institute-conducted Classical Radio.

Radio Freedom was like a beacon for the Commonwealth. It helped unite the Minutemen and boost up the people's morale. Our situation was finally stable.

The Brotherhood of Steel, on the other hand, was struggling with the challenge of building the molecular relay. Proctor Ingram had warned me it would take at least a month, but I was still growing frustrated. We were so close, at last, and yet again some stupid setback was keeping me from the Institute.

I clenched my fist, opened it, flexed my fingers... Amazing how this world could turn around. I'd never thought I was wondering the kind of person who just...

I sighed.

"Heads up," Deacon said absently as he entered the room, pressing something on a wrist-worn device. "We gotta go."

I looked up at him.

"That's a Pip-Boy," I noticed. "I used to have one of those, before I gave it to a friend. Are you a Vault dweller?"

"What?" Deacon laughed, as if that idea was completely ridiculous. He looked at me very intensely. "Hell, I might be," he said evenly. "Sure. Why not. But, uh... Bottom line - this here is the most useful thing in the world." He tapped on the Pip-Boy.

"That's what my friend said too. That's why I gave it to him."

"Huh." He crossed his arms. "Generous of you, Blue." I still couldn't get over the fact that Piper wasn't the only one who called me that. "Either way. I was being serious when I said we gotta go. Dez wants you back at HQ."

"What for?" I asked, quickly packing my things into my Brotherhood of Steel backpack. Funnily enough, I hadn't worn my Brotherhood uniform for weeks. I now got around in some clothes I'd bought at the Fallon's Basement in Diamond City and my leather jacket.

"She didn't say. But from what Stockton's told me, it's pretty serious."

We quickly walked through the alleys of Bunker Hill in the direction of Old North End. I skipped a broken sidewalk tile.

"So Desdemona wants just me to report?" I asked. "Why not you?"

Deacon laughed good-heartedly. "Hey. She's not the boss of me." He stopped, making me do the same a few steps later. "Wanna know a secret?"

I honestly wasn't sure. I had had enough secrecy for one lifetime. "I don't know," I said. "Do I?"

Deacon fixed his eyes on the horizon. "You've been in this mess long enough and we've had some close shots... Might as well tell you." He cleared his throat. "The Railroad? I'm in charge of it. Sure, Dez acts all important and all, but that's only a facade."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Honest!" He raised his hands. "Just look at your situation: they were all ready to kill you, with guns and all that, but enter Deacon and voilà! Honestly, a few words from me and Dez lets you inside HQ. What remains is, I'm the real leader of the Railroad. No shit."

I stared at him, not really sure if he actually expected me to _believe_ that.

"You're lying," I said. "And that's not the first time. You've told me plenty of that stuff already. Bull. Shit."

"Okay. You got me. But you go out there, people are gonna feed you the exact same bullshit on daily basis. You've got to look at not the golden-laced words someone speaks, but at what they're doing, and only then deal out judgement. There's plenty of groups in the Commonwealth who would wanna use you to get what they want." He took off his sunglasses and nervously wiped them with his shirt. "Your job is to really know who you can trust and who you can't."

"Can I trust _you_?" I asked. "You haven't exactly been honest with me."

"I wanted to make sure you learned this lesson, Nora. It's... hella important. You're gonna go out there, you're gonna meet people, and you'll have to make your own opinion on them."

"And what's _your_ opinion?" I asked. "On all those groups in the Commonwealth, I mean. Who would _you_ trust?"

"I don't think my opinion is... Aw, hell." He put the sunglasses back on. "I won't get started on the Railroad. The Minutemen? I love the idea, and they've been doing some good stuff lately, but... I don't really believe they have any military strength at all. Then, there are the Gunners. Better stay clear. The Brotherhood of Steel... Well, I had a run in with them in the Capital Wasteland a couple years back and I was honestly impressed. Some of the best people I've met. But now, with Elder Maxson in charge? I'm not a fan." He laughed a bit. "Goodneighbor's a cool place to hang out for everyone more or less shady. Diamond City - good place to hang out, not a good place if you're looking for help. They're just out for themselves, and security does little. Then, there's the Institute. You can probably guess what my opinion is."

"The same as mine. They can go to hell."

"The same as everyone's, then." Deacon frowned. "But the thing is... It doesn't really matter what I think. What really matters is your opinion, even if you haven't made up your mind yet. Because.. at the end of the day, you'll have to make a decision. All I'm saying is... just make sure it's the right one."

"I hate making decisions."

"You can't live the way you are now: Brotherhood of Steel as a day job, Railroad as a night job, and part-time Minutemen. And not _just_ because it's gonna exhaust you physically. You just can't keep having all those secrets around." He sighed. "Trust me, I would know."

I looked down, but Deacon lifted my chin, a smile on his face.

"Look, I don't wanna give you advice, but I know you've been running with the Brotherhood for a whole lotta time before you met with us, and I know you're probably already engaged in all of that... I just... Just don't feel guilty for your decision. Whatever it is."

"Thank you, but why are you saying all of that?" I raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be trying to get me on your side?"

"Don't confuse me with your _other_ friends, Nora. I just... I want you to not feel guilty, whatever you decide. That's what I want. Can you please do that for me?"

I felt a lump in my throat.

"...Yeah," I said eventually. My voice felt almost alien to me. "I'll... I'll do that. Thanks, Deacon."

oooOOO***OOOooo

I exhaled slowly. It was gonna be fine. I was gonna be fine. Truthfully, I wasn't nearly as nervous talking to Desdemona as I was talking to Elder Maxson. There definitely was a friendlier atmosphere in the Railroad than in the Brotherhood of Steel or even the Minutemen. That was probably part of the reason I had adapted so quickly. They were my kind of people.

"So, you make up your mind yet?" Glory came up to me.

I cocked my head to the side. "What about?"

"Your big great speech about the morals of synths. You know, what you said about the Brotherhood of Steel and the Railroad." She crossed her arms. "Nora, I believe you have the best of intentions, but that's never gonna work."

"So _you_ say," I corrected her. "Gotta have faith. As to synths... I don't know how to say this. Deacon's been..." I scratched my head. "He's hard to describe. He told me he's a synth, too. It's... It's weird."

"Deacon says a lot of things," Glory said, looking at me carefully. "Some of them are true. Some of them ain't. Is he a synth? We have a little poll around here. I'm pretty sure he is, though. He wouldn't be saying something like that otherwise. In the wrong circles, it can get you killed."

I nodded. "You're right. But that's still not enough to convince me. I think... I think nothing ever will. Synths? You should never have existed in the first place."

Glory crossed her arms, but she looked somewhat uneasy now (although I had to admit, she was one of the most cool-headed people I knew.)

"Don't get me wrong, Glory, I would not have killed you. But your existence is _wrong_. Your life was artificially created by people attempting to play God and tinker with what isn't theirs to control."

She looked at me without a word, waiting for the rest.

"But this life, however _indecorously_ created, is still a life. And it should be protected, no matter what." I smiled. After all this time, I finally understood what had been wrong with my beliefs all this time. I had been blindly following what the Brotherhood of Steel had taught me, and so I hadn't realized there was one big flaw in their logic. "Synths are people too."

 **New Rank: Railroad Agent - you have been accepted into the ranks of the Railroad. From now on, your sneak attacks do a permanent +10% damage and StealthBoys last 10% longer. Silenced weapons do 15% more damage and have a bigger chance for killing instantly.**  
 **Level up.**  
 **New Perk: Hardened - your bone structure is now stronger, making it harder for you to cripple or break your limbs.**

* * *

 _ **Remember, posting reviews saves lives.**_


	27. Boston After Dark

**Chapter Twenty-Four  
Boston After Dark  
**

* * *

"This is _bullshit!"_ Deacon exclaimed.

Glory and I stopped talking in an instant as we looked towards the commotion. Desdemona crossed her arms.

"This isn't up for discussion," she said sternly.

Deacon gritted his teeth. "Well, then, let's see how much Nora likes it."

I really didn't like being pulled into anything right now, especially with all those strong emotions inside of me at the moment. I still wasn't sure what side of the barricade I was on.

"Deacon, don't," Carrington said in a warning undertone. "She chose this."

"She chose the peaceful way out!" Deacon exclaimed. "Not _this_."

Glory squeezed my hand and I felt some confidence at knowing at least I had one ally here.

"What is it?" I asked. "What's wrong?"

"The Brotherhood of Steel, that's what's wrong," Carrington half-growled.

Desdemona stepped forward. "I can't keep ignoring this anymore, Blue. The Railroad has been in the Commonwealth for over twenty years. The Institute's been here for over eighty years. This struggle is nothing new." She looked down. "But the Brotherhood of Steel... Well, they _are_."

"Bullshit, the Brotherhood's been around for the last 200 years," I protested.

"Not here, not in this affair, actually," Deacon reasoned. "The Brotherhood..." He sighed. "Back in the Capital Wasteland, they really weren't bad. But now..."

"They can't stay here," Dez crossed her arms. "It's been six months since they barged in, acting like they run the show, and already the Commonwealth's changed."

"Yeah. For the better," I pointed out. "Fewer raiders is a problem for you? Less super mutants, some more order? Families finally being able to sleep in peace because someone else is doing their fighting for them is a problem for you?" I stepped forward. "What's wrong with the Brotherhood, really?!"

Glory closed her eyes and I knew I had just dug my own grave.

"You've seen them," Deacon said quietly. "You know."

I did know. The Brotherhood would never accept synths. My own views on the matter seemed radical for those in the Railroad. If they ever met someone like Danse or Elder Maxson, one of those people who believed the only way to deal with synths was to kill on sight... That was what was wrong with the Brotherhood of Steel and that was why the Railroad would never be able to just ignore them as a political power. Those were two opposing camps.

I was in both.

"What do you say we do?" I asked, a lump in my throat.

"It's been six months. We've been delaying long enough." Desdemona looked around at all of us. "They go down."

I clenched my fists. "What?!" I exclaimed.

"And this time she's right," Deacon said evenly. "I am with Nora. If my opinion means anything here, let go. This is a war we'll never be able to win."

"Oh, but we will," Carrington smiled crookedly. "Because we have agent Blue here, haven't we? She's with the Brotherhood of Steel, they trust her."

"I won't do it," I was close to screaming. "I won't!"

"I had Tinker Tom fashion an explosive that could bring down their airship," Desdemona said. "That would probably scare the survivors off. It would mean least casualties." Her eyes softened. "That's what you want, isn't it?"

I shook my head, tears in my eyes. "If you even think of taking down the Prydwen... You're a monster," I said through gritted teeth. Deacon took a step back. "There are _children_ on that ship and you know there are. You know how many? Fifty-two! Fifty-two kids, aged from nine to fifteen! There's a girl, Gracia, who's not even eight years old. I know these kids, they're not bad people. Half of them don't even want to be soldiers! They are the soldiers' children, orphans whom the Brotherhood gave a family, squires training to join the forces..." I dug my nails deep into my palms. "If you attack, you're not just attacking the Brotherhood of Steel. You're killing innocents."

Slowly, I shook my head.

"It's not right."

My pupils shrank; it was not I who had said this.

I turned around.

"G- Glory...?" I stammered.

She was staring at the ground. "It's not right!" She looked up at us, her eyes shining. "No way in hell are we doing this!"

"What else?" Deacon spread out his arms. "They're dangerous."

"Ha." I blinked, a small smile creeping onto my lips. Through all the tears, I finally realized how stupid the whole argument was. Maybe I had had to just look at it from a distance...? Because one thing was for sure, I hadn't been objective until now. "Well... yeah," I said slowly. My smile only widened.

They looked at me weirdly, but I paid it no mind.

"Hell yeah they're dangerous. Very dangerous, actually." I folded my arms across my chest with a grin. "You know, Deacon, you're dangerous in your own way too. Dez is dangerous. Glory is very dangerous. Don't try to argue, and don't pretend you're outmatched when you're not. Because I know for a fact that you could easily wipe out a platoon, single-handedly. Danger? It's such a fucking subjective word. Don't use it like that, please."

There was a moment of silence.

"Then what do we do? Elder Maxson won't change. Even if there are some in the Brotherhood of Steel who don't feel as he does, he's in charge."

"I know," I replied. "But what if he wasn't?"

Desdemona sighed. "It doesn't matter. We can talk about what-if's, but none of them will change the fact that Maxson is the leader of the Brotherhood."

 _That's right,_ I thought to myself. _But what if he wasn't?_

oooOOO***OOOooo

"What do you want to do?" Glory asked while I pulled on my combat armor greaves.

"Dez gave me the green light to try some political mingling in the Brotherhood," I answered absently. "That's rubbish, though, it's never gonna work. Trust me, I know how they're like. For now, I'm hoping..." I groaned when something got stuck and I had to pull harder to put the armor on. "Hoping to get the whole score settled and get the hell outta here. Honestly, it's the only thing I can do now that I've gotten myself into this whole mess. The Brotherhood are almost done with that teleporter by now. I'm gonna do a quick jump to the Institute, try and find out what happened to my son, jump back if it's possible, and then get the hell out of here."

"So, basically," Glory narrowed her eyes, "you're running away."

I pulled on the greave one last time before standing up straight. "The bottom line is that if I'm forced to make a choice, I'll stand by the Brotherhood." I swallowed. "Please don't force me to make that choice. But... there is nothing - _nothing_ \- you can do to change my decision."

I pulled on my gloves. Out of habit, I glanced at my wrist.

"I miss knowing what time it is," I complained. That son of a gun, Danse, had promised he would give me a watch in exchange for that Pip-Boy and what? Nothing, that's what.

"Seven in the morning," Glory informed me. "Before you go, Dez wanted you to check-in with her."

"Again?" I groaned. "All right. I'll talk to her."

It wasn't a long walk from the shooting range to the operations center. Actually, the whole of Railroad HQ could have easily fit in my pre-War bungalow.

"Reporting in," I announced myself.

Desdemona nodded. "Yes. I'll be quick. I'm not happy you chose the Brotherhood to help you build this device, but I understand why that choice seemed sensible. Just wanted you to know. Now, for a request. I know I'm asking a lot, but since you'll already be in the Institute, it's your chance to get as much intel as possible. If you can record a holotape or something like that with their data, that'd be great." She looked at me, as if sizing me up. "And... good luck, Blue."

I nodded my head. "Of course. I... will need it."

I did need luck.

Alone again, I left the church through the entrance that I'd had to clear up two weeks ago as a way of compensating for destroying it earlier.

I looked up at the sky, displeased. It was raining. Sometimes, I hated the Wasteland.

I zipped up my jacket and momentarily regretted wearing my Brotherhood uniform instead of something warmer. I didn't even know what to do with myself right now. The last time I had been to the airport, Proctor Ingram had told me it would take at least a month to get that molecular relay up and running. That had been four months ago. With luck, it had already been finished... But that would mean I was about to face something I definitely wasn't ready for: the infiltration of the Institute.

Sometimes I wondered how much they knew. The Institute, supposedly, so advanced and technologically superior, supposedly with spies around every corner, hadn't done anything to signal they knew what the Brotherhood of Steel was planning against them. True, during some of my missions for the Railroad I'd had to fight some synths, but that had never been a direct opposition, they hadn't been there to fight us.

What were the Institute playing at?

That was the question which scared me the most because I didn't know the answer.

I took off my glasses to wipe them from all the water. _I guess Goodneighbor is nearby... I could always check up on my friends there._

Stupidly enough, I was fully aware I was just stalling now. Maybe after that, I could go to Diamond City... for whatever reason I could.

I really didn't want to go there. The Institute. I was scared. Honestly, the only thing that kept me on the track was that Danse and probably a few other soldiers would accompany me, so at least I wouldn't be _completely_ alone in that.

Hopefully.

"Oh, hell," I muttered, "I'm not really planning on going back, am I?"

I wasn't. Not for the first time in the last what? seven months? I was facing a challenge that was incredibly dangerous, one that I likely wouldn't survive. That... wasn't very reassuring. Honestly, I'd gotten so used to the idea that my life was in constant danger that every time I did make it out, I was amazed. I was beginning to understand why all the people in the Wasteland were like that.

There had been a time, not even two months ago, when I hadn't been taking that for granted. That danger. I think what had happened to Cait had been the wakeup call for me. It had been the first time when I'd seriously thought I was going to die.

And yet I'd gone to fight that Courser. Convinced that I wasn't going to survive...

I smiled lightly. I turned my back on Goodneighbor. I was going straight to Diamond City.

It had taken Danse to knock some sense into me. I was really glad he had. If it hadn't been for him then, I wouldn't have even tried to get out alive.

Preston. Danse. Piper. Nick. Hancock. MacCready. Cait. Deacon. Even stupid old Dogmeat...

Those people had made me. They had been there for me when I fell, even when it didn't do them any good, even when they suffered because of that. They had given me the strength... They had become part of me. To fail now would mean all their sacrifice had been in vain. My friends... Cait, Deacon, and Danse in particular... They had had their share of pain because of me.

If I died, no one would know how I felt. They wouldn't know. I clenched my fist. _And this is important._

...Looking in retrospect, I can say the decision I made at that moment was one fueled by fever and strong emotions, as I got sick the very next day. Still, it would prove one of the most important things I would do with my life.

With high fever and some migraines, I managed to reach Diamond City and seek out MacCready. After that, I kind of lost track of what I was doing. The fever didn't let up for another two days and I was majorly scolded by Piper, Doctor Sun, Nick, and Ellie for dragging myself through sewers and rain and mud for weeks. Apparently, joining the Railroad hadn't been good for my health.

I was told later that most of what I was saying was incoherent and chaotic, that those things I was trying so hard to pass on didn't make much sense. To me, they were perfectly clear.

Some time later, when the fever broke, I first began to recognize I was in the Valentine Detective Agency. I sat up on the bed and instinctively reached for my Pip-Boy to check what day it was, but my hand reached nothing because, of course, I had given all my stuff away to my friends. Not that I was regretting it.

I rubbed my head. "I feel like shit," I mumbled.

"Wouldn't be surprised. Your immunity's been screwed for a long time by now, and you're not helping by having little care for yourself."

"Nick...? Whatcha doing here?" I asked, feeling a bit confused.

"I live here."

"Oh!" I sprang to my feet so fast that I got a small head rush and I had to lean on the wall for support. Nick held me up. "Sorry! Shit. I've been taking up your home-"

"Don't need the bed," he assured me. "I don't sleep. Only use it sometimes when Ellie stays the night."

I shakily stepped away from him to see if I could stand on my own. I could, thankfully.

"Here," Valentine offered me a can of purified water. "It's kind of like coolant. You need to have this in your body to function properly."

I laughed. "That's a cute metaphor," I said as I took it from him.

He smiled. "Can't blame a synth for trying."

I downed the whole can of water in a matter of seconds, then wiped my mouth with my sleeve. I looked around. "So... Whatever happened to me?"

Nick crossed his arms. "Simply enough, that's what happens when a person forgets to care for themselves. You can't neglect yourself for the sake of others, Nora."

"I don't..."

"Honestly, when did you last eat something more nutritious than a grilled radroach?"

"Hey, it tastes like chicken!" I sighed at his raised eyebrow. "...Point taken. I'll go get something to eat now."

"You can stay here," he offered. "Ellie can make something."

"Oh, yeah, that'd be great!" I smiled widely. "Thanks!" There was a moment of silence. I knew I was too weak to walk on my own just yet. "Hey, Nick...? Could you..." _There goes my pride._ "Could you please help me go down the stairs?"

He picked me up as easily as a ragdoll and carried to his office.

"Thanks," I said quietly.

Ellie came into the room, probably promoted by the noise. "Nora, you're here," she said. "And this time, you're conscious."

"Hey, Ellie, still got some of that Salisbury Steak left?" Nick asked. "I got the feeling Nora here might need some food."

"Sure. Just... let me heat it up." She smiled warmly, a smile dedicated solely to Nick, and quickly left.

Valentine sighed as he leaned his head back. "You're gonna ask questions now, aren't you?"

I nodded eagerly.

"Well... It's not like it looks. Ellie and I are... a bit of an item. Or working towards it, at least. And, to be brutally honest, it's all thanks to you." He laughed. "Never would have thought a synth and a human can maintain a relationship. Guess the world's beautiful because it's so surprising..." He closed his eyes, content. A frown then came upon his face. "What were you doing out there? Any leads on finding Shaun?"

I swallowed. "...Yeah. With help from the Brotherhood of Steel and the Railroad, I've been working on this device that can get you into the Institute. I was just on my way back to the airport... We're gonna do this. Now." I respected the fact that he didn't want to comment on that in any way and I didn't press on it. I looked away. "And on your end? You're here, which means Eddie Winter..."

Nick slumped down his chair, now seriously depressed. "I closed that case," he said quietly. "I just wanna say... Having to do it alone was one of the hardest things in my life." He pushed his fedora hat deep into his forehead. "I thought a lot on it. Eddie Winter, Nick Valentine... That whole pre-War mess." He looked up at me, his robotic yellow eyes shining among the dim lights of the office. "I may have been made with his memories, but Nick Valentine the police officer is dead. I am not him. That's what I wanna live by." He crossed his arms. "Ellie's been helpful, just as Piper and Nat Wright. It's... good to have people you can count on."

He smiled, while I frowned. _Those people... You have no idea._

Just then, Ellie walked in with Piper right there with her.

"Hi honey, I'm home," Piper deadpanned sarcastically. She whacked me on the shoulder. "The hell are you doing, Blue?!"

I winced. "Gee, I forgot how feisty you can be." I massaged my arm where she'd hit me. "It's not my fault. Honestly."

She let out a breath, looking at me with an expression I couldn't read.

"Don't get me so worried anymore, okay?" She looked at me seriously.

I chuckled nervously. "You're not gonna like this, then. The teleporter we've been building? It's kind of done now. And I'm supposed to be there when we test it."

"...On you?" Piper guessed.

"Yeah."

"You didn't mention the device is a teleporter," Valentine noticed. "That doesn't sound like a walk in a park."

"I told her," Piper said. "But... she's surprisingly determined."

"Take it from me, you don't want to mess with a mother looking for her kid," Nick said. "You see a lot of people at their worst in my line of work. Mothers are the most depressed - and the most determined, too."

I clenched my fist. "Right on the money," I said quietly. I had been trying very hard not to think of Shaun, but lately it had been getting harder. I couldn't keep that thought out of my mind.

So long. I'd been looking for so long.

I quickly dug into the food Ellie gave me and decided that it was better than anything I ever would prepare on my own. I ate it all in a minute.

"It's getting crowded in here," Nick muttered.

MacCready, who had just entered, only gave him an askew glare.

He looked around the room quickly. "I heard Nora's awake." He stopped by Piper's chair to give her a quick kiss. "Hi."

I looked away.

Piper must have noticed that, because she frowned.

"Nora..." she said.

I stood up. "No, don't, don't do this to me. That pitying voice. Don't use it." I motioned towards the two of them, my eyes fixed on the floor. "You guys are happy, right? That's what matters."

"That's not what I meant." She crossed her arms. "Not even close. What I meant is that I can tell you with 100% certainty that there are people who would be happy to date you."

"If you know a guy for me, please just set us up. Please." I made my best puppy eyes.

"Okay." Piper hid her face in her hands. "Nora, honey, I mean it in the best way possible, but you're an idiot. Just consider that maybe you're ignoring some obvious stuff if you're still looking for 'the right guy'." She finger-quoted those last words.

I glared at her. "Don't you think if I'd already met 'the right guy', I would've noticed?"

For some reason, that seemed very funny to her. "You know, you'd _think_ you would." was all she said.

I didn't like the way she'd said it. People who kept acting like they knew something I didn't were getting on my nerves.

"Hey." She grabbed my hand. "Chin up. Believe you me, being single is the least of your problems right now."

"That's not very reassuring," I noticed. "Doesn't make me very confident about any of what I'm about to do. It's hard enough leaving you here. And, uh... I don't know if we're gonna see each other again, like, _ever_ , so..." I pulled out a stack of loose papers out of my jacket and handed it to her. "It's... Not a journal, something different. More like... a memoir? I guess. It's..." I exhaled nervously. "It's all that's happened to me since 2077."

Piper took it all from me.

"What... What should I do with it?" she asked softly.

"That's up to you. I just figured, no megalomania intended, this story is... kinda important. If you ever feel like making it into something."

"Wow. Thanks, Blue. I... I appreciate it." Her eyes were shining now. "You actually trust me with this... That's... That's great. I never thought of myself as the girl who... has friends. Or accomplishes anything."

"Piper, you..." I didn't know what to say.

MacCready took both her hands into his. "You're enough," he said simply. "You've always been. More than enough, you're very good at what you do."

"And this is the part I don't understand," she said, looking away from him. "I... I'm not this. People don't just _like_ me. I'm the nosy journalist. I'm Piper Wright. The Diamond City troublemaker. The reason no one's ever been close to me-"

He put his hand on her cheek. "Piper, you don't have to be flawless. I think you're perfect just the way you are."

Piper coughed a laugh. "P- Perfect?" she stuttered. "I've been called a lot of things, but perfect... That's- That's a new one."

"That's how I see you," MacCready said with a shy smile. "I love you, Piper Wright." He blushed. "I... kind of wish Nick and Nora weren't there the first time I said it to you, though."

I gritted my teeth. I should _not_ be this bitter in front of this. It was just unfair.

"I'm just gonna go," I said. I didn't want to look too gloomy. "Got a big op ahead. And I got to report to Elder Maxson... I got stuff to do."

"Hey, Nora?" MacCready called out.

I shut my eyes.

"Yeah?"

"This is gonna sound obvious, but... Be careful."

"Yeah."

I stepped outside and closed the door behind me. It was cold out here - and it was still raining. Two days from Diamond City to the airport, max.

 _No time to waste_. I set off, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being watched.

I stopped. The rain fell on my neck, very cold.

"Deacon," I said aloud. I turned around and there he was, a Diamond City Security guard with those stupid sunglasses of his covering his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

He opened his mouth, only to close it a moment later.

"...I don't know."

I put my hands on my hips. "Do you want to come with me?"

"...I don't know."

"Okay then," I enunciated. "I'll just be going."

Deacon drooped his shoulders. "Wait up!" He ran forward to catch up with me. "Wait for me. I mean... It would be bad if you died before you even got the chance to test the machine, right?" He raised an eyebrow with a cocky smirk.

I shook my head. "You're impossible," I laughed.

"Yeah. I like to think that."

oooOOO***OOOooo

I poked our campfire with some stick I'd found lying nearby. The stick caught fire, of course. I amused myself with painting shapes with the fire in the air. The specter remained in front of my eyes for long seconds after the flame had moved. The fire was weak anyway; the wood was wet from the rain, it wouldn't burn properly.

"Something on your mind or... just staring ahead with no thoughts?" Deacon asked. He had lost that DC guard outfit for his usual jeans and t-shirt, what I was rather thankful for.

"Yeah," I said absently, "just looking at the snow. There's no snow anymore, I mean. It's, what, middle of April now?"

He didn't answer at first, looking at the flames flickering in our campfire. "...Yeah. Somewhere along that, yeah." He rubbed his brow. "Time's been flying too fast lately."

"You couldn't be more right," I agreed.

"Whoa." He shuddered theatrically at my harsh tone. "What'd I do? Strike a nerve?"

I drooped my head. "Honestly? This is all grade-A fucked up. What's happening in the Commonwealth now. I've only been here a few months, so don't blame me for seeing it differently, but... This isn't _normal_ , is it? Normal by Wasteland standards." I kicked a rock, and it went tumbling down the concrete until it eventually rolled down onto the grass. "The whole Institute thing. Guessing by Piper's mindset, it's always been bad, but it's been getting worse, hasn't it? You people at the Railroad like to say that the arrival of the Brotherhood of Steel was the catalyst for this whole mess, but that's not true, is it? It's been brewing up for a long time now."

Deacon folded his arms. "What can I say? You got it all right there. I guess the Brotherhood's been just another reason for us to hasten stuff up." He looked up at the very same rain that had intrigued me before. "...Dez wants us to take fight to the Institute."

I almost tripped over after hearing that. "She wants _what_?!"

"She's not wrong, you know. But it's too fast, too reckless. Too risky." He chuckled. "Sometimes, it's hard to take Dez seriously. I remember when she was just a green recruit. She doesn't see things clearly yet... Point is, the Railroad can't manage that op. We just can't, we don't have the firepower - though we do have Glory - we don't have the resources and we don't have the men." His expression brightened up. "Enter you. You, Nora, or Blue, or whatever you call yourself nowadays. I didn't pull all of that crap to get you inside the Railroad because I thought you were some kinda miracle special ops soldier. Let's be honest - you're a shitty fighter."

"I hope there's more to this," I muttered sarcastically. I was kind of hurt, though.

"Yeah. Because I did all that work of getting you in the Railroad because you're the only chance to save it. You're like this glue that joins all those factions in the Commonwealth together... Nope, forget that. That was a crappy metaphor." He shook his head. "What I mean is, we can't possibly fight the Institute - not right now, at least. The Brotherhood of Steel? They can. The Minutemen, maybe... But they'd have to double their numbers. If there's a chance of some alliance, even if for just a while, that's our chance."

"See?!" I was so overjoyed that I impulsively hugged him. "I knew I couldn't be the only one who sees that!"

"Yeah. Except. The Brotherhood won't cooperate with anyone. I don't know them that well, you can decide, but even if there was a chance, Elder Maxson is blocking it. He's always gonna hate synths."

I stepped away from him.

"I talked about this with Glory before," I said. I couldn't help but get defensive now. "Maxson is hands down the best tactician I've ever met, a formidable fighter and an amazing leader. He's charismatic and dedicated, and God forbid, but I actually like the man. I will not stage a coup against him for the sake of your political games."

"Shit, then whose side are you even on?"

"I'm friendly enough, but I can stop." I stepped forward. "Watch yourself, Deacon. The Brotherhood of Steel are not my enemies, and have never been. Just because I joined the Railroad doesn't mean I uphold your weirdass code of ethics."

"Gee, alright," he held up his hands, "why all the antagonism? Though I gotta say, you can be scary when you wanna. Good!"

"I never said I wanna save synths," I growled. "I don't wanna kill. But are they human?"

I remembered everything Danse had said. His hateful words about the wrongness of sentient robots, his conviction that they should not exist. I remembered all of Maxson's captivating speeches about the Institute, how synths were the ultimate weapon, more dangerous than any other. I remembered what Glory, a synth herself, had said, about how the synths were created artificially and how the Institute treated them as little other than slaves.

Were they human?

"I... don't know," I said slowly. If I didn't believe synths were human, I should leave the Railroad this instant. Go to the Brotherhood and complete the destruction of those abominations. If I did believe they were human, I couldn't show my face anywhere near the Brotherhood of Steel ever again. I should work with the Railroad to help free them from the Institute's oppression.

Either way, I was placing the Institute as the enemy. But the problem was that I didn't know what to believe.

"Hey, Deacon," I said after a long, long silence in our journey. We were nearing the airport, as a matter of fact.

"Huh?" He pushed his sunglasses up his nose; they had been sliding down before.

"You're a synth." I said it without any emotion at all. "Don't you ever regret joining the Railroad? You must kill other synths sometimes."

"Hah. You ever regretted killing a human? Bet you a hundred caps the answer's yes. They're never gonna leave. The people you kill." He exhaled. "They're gonna come back in your nightmares from time to time anyway, human, ghoul, or synth. Honestly makes no difference for me." He looked up at me. "By the way... The things I say? Not really guaranteed to be true." He nodded at me. "Bye. Good hunting."

I weakly waved goodbye as he walked away. _He's the only person who can get me to feel like this_.

I clenched my fists.

 _I can't even... Gather enough courage to say._

"Hey!" I called out after him. Deacon stopped and slowly turned back. I put on my cockiest smile. "I'll see you around!" I screamed. "I'll be back yet!"

He smiled and raised a hand. If he said something, he was far enough for me not to hear the words.

I grinned too, turning to face the Brotherhood's base with a much more confident mindset. Those Institute bastards had better be prepared, because this wasn't even personal anymore. It was me against everything that was wrong with the world.

Some soldiers greeted me with a nod of their head, but most paid me no mind as they went about their business. I took a deep breath. There was a heavy scent of wet soil in the air, one that reminded me of my childhood. I let a small smile on my lips. That was good.

"Wow." I whistled, impressed, when I saw the teleporter - or what I assumed was the teleporter. The machine was massive, like five meters tall, with a lot of cables wired up to it. I couldn't make out what most of it was even supposed to do.

"It's something, isn't it," Proctor Ingram agreed. She smiled at me. "Hi. Good to have you back, Sergeant."

"Hey, I get to be the lab rat who tests this unknown technology! Pleasure's all mine!" I called out, not sparing her from any sarcasm. "Seriously though, I don't think I'm going to enjoy the testing part."

"Whenever you're ready," she reassured me. "I would say there's no rush, but that would be a lie, so I'll just say that you can hold it off until you feel prepared. Given it's not too long."

"Oh." I laughed nervously. "I actually thought of doing this today, but maybe you're right." I looked up - the Prydwen was casting a looming shadow over almost the entire airport. "I'd better report this to the Elder anyway..."

"Already did," Ingram said with a smile. "All we're waiting for is you."

I stared at the teleporter. There was no telling if that thing would work, or where it might take me. I would never be ready for this.

I narrowed my eyes.

"Tell your men we're testing this thing first thing tomorrow," I said firmly.

I caught a vertibird ride to the Prydwen, where I was treated with the utmost care - well, from the officers, at least. I don't think anyone with a rank lower than mine even knew of this mission. Maybe Ingram's Scribes.

I was just looking through the stuff in my locker when someone gently knocked on the already open door to the locker room.

"Mind if I intrude?"

I stood to attention seeing the senior officer.

"Not at all, sir," I said. "Please do."

Paladin Brandis waved me off with a small smile. "Stand easy, Knight-Sergeant. I only came by to wish you good luck tomorrow."

I bowed my head. "Thank you, Paladin. That's very considerate of you."

"No need to thank me. I'm not supposed to say anything, but..." He tilted his head, closed his eyes, and smiled. "If I were you, I'd report to Proctor Taegan. That's all I can say." He put a fist over his heart. "Godspeed, Sergeant. Ad victoriam."

I nodded slowly as I watched him leave, confused. What was he not supposed to say...?

I grabbed my backpack and headed to the supply depot, intrigued. Halfway there, I was stopped in the hallway. My heart jumped up when I saw by whom.

"Now, Sergeant, I thought you would have at least checked in with me when you're back."

"Elder Maxson!" I squeaked as I immediately saluted. "I... I was going to, sir! I swear! This isn't that I ignore my duties-"

"That's alright," he said. "Proctor Ingram informed me about the plan for tomorrow. I thought I might wish you all the best of luck. Regardless of what happens, you're going to need it."

"That's... all, sir?" I couldn't help but be suspicious.

"Honestly? No." Maxson looked around, but we were pretty much alone, save for one Knight in power armor patrolling the hall. "Now that we have clearly crossed fire with the Institute, a war is brewing. Quickly - far too quickly. I wonder... Danse spoke of how you managed to acquire the data for this project. The Railroad, I assume, isn't just a bystander in this conflict."

I swallowed - for a second, I feared he knew.

"They're a small but capable group. I think it best to deal with them before the war with the Institute fully unwinds." Maxson shifted his eyes away from mine. "I hate to put this all on your plate, especially taking tomorrow into account, but once you're back, we will have to work on finding a way to neutralize them.

I don't know how I found the strength to withhold the look he gave me afterwards.

I walked away without leave, in the direction of the supply depot. No. I couldn't... Couldn't think about this. No...

"Proctor Taegan, sir," I saluted quickly. "Should I expect anything out of the ordinary, sir?"

Taegan put a power armor helmet on the counter. "How did you know? Ha. Doesn't matter. Actually, yes, I have something special for you, Sergeant. Consider it a bonus from yours truly."

"Oh, really?" I almost subconsciously leaned forward, even more intrigued now.

"Yes. I couldn't help but notice you're not doing much use of your rifles... Well, Paladin Danse told me... But either way, that revolver of yours is an efficient weapon, but it's not very discreet."

I had to agree - the revolver that had previously belonged to Kellogg but which now I had come to call my own was very loud for such a small gun. It probably had to do with the power, I wasn't sure. The little thing had one hell of a knockback.

"A suppressor," Taegan said as he handed it to me. "And here..." He searched for something beneath the counter. "Your new uniform," he said. I raised an eyebrow. The dark grey color implied my rank was Knight-Captain or higher (which it definitely wasn't) or that someone had made a mistake (which _was_ possible). "Wear it with pride."

"...Thanks," I said warily, looking him over. Would he maybe be suitable...? No, in the end, he wouldn't. I needed someone more open-minded...

Haylen would be amazing. But, truthfully, I knew she wasn't a leader - and even if she were good for that role, her rank was too low for me to stage a coup with her as the new Elder. I needed a Paladin, at least - ideally, a Star Paladin or a Proctor.

Paladin Brandis - experienced and reasonable... at times. At times, he was also mentally unstable. Nope.

Paladin Danse? While I did hold an affection for my friend, I had to admit that this was the wrong way to go. If there was anyone who hated synths more than Maxson, it was Danse. So no.

Paladin Cannote? But I didn't know him well enough to know what his views on the whole thing were... Besides, he didn't have renown like Danse or Brandis. He wasn't a leader.

...Which brought me to my perfect candidate: Proctor Ingram. Ingram who was among the senior staff and had been nothing but understanding and open-minded thus far. But also Ingram who wouldn't ever rebel against the rightful leader whom Elder Maxson was.

I sighed, rubbing my forehead. All those political games weren't for me. I wasn't cut out for this; I was a soldier now. Stupidly enough, the Railroad's faith in me was completely misguided.

And now, the Brotherhood wanted to deal with the Railroad too.

I knew that, inevitably, I would soon face a very unpleasant choice that would result in a lot of death.

I sighed, packed all those things into my backpack, and headed to the barracks.

I had to get a good night's rest before tomorrow.

oooOOO***OOOooo

I caught sight of myself in a mirror we passed it by. The dark grey uniform really suited me. It didn't suit my rank, but I didn't give a damn. I was going to the Institute and I was going to look good.

I was barely listening to Scribe Haylen who was explaining all the mechanics of the upcoming day to me as she accompanied me to the flight deck.

"Oh, and Elder Maxson wanted you to know that if you survive this, you're a hero." Haylen fumbled around the multiple pockets of her uniform. I had always thought Scribes had too many of those on their outfits... Not that it mattered. I supposed with what was ahead of me, it was no wonder I was trying to distract myself with everything else.

"Oh, here." She handed me a slip of paper. Well, a quite big slip - it was almost a sheet.

"What's this?" I asked.

"I was told to pass this to you, preferably before you get yourself killed. Your new placement of orders."

I skimmed over the page, searching for capital letters. I caught a mention of Boston, good, no change there, Danse's name, so that meant we would still work together... And apparently, I got a promotion.

"I got a promotion."

"Yes. I actually postulated that you be made Knight-Captain..." She offered me a smile. "I may have been a bit subjective on the matter, but I think you've earned it. Well, I didn't expect the Elder to actually listen, but..."

"He made me a Paladin," I said aloud, still holding the piece of paper in my hands. "I can lead my own squad... I can... Do stuff."

"Apparently, he's decided you're going to die and honored you beforehand."

"Do you too think I'm going to die?"

Haylen looked at her shoes. "It's a suicide mission. If anyone accompanies you on this, they must be out of their mind."

I didn't answer. I had been expecting company. Had I been wrong? Maybe it was stupid to think Haylen or Ingram would come with me, but maybe at least Danse wouldn't abandon me in the time of trial? Someone... Surely I had a friend here!

"Oh, and one more thing." Haylen handed me a holotape. "The primary goal is infiltration and recon, so you'll have to gather as much intel as you can. On this tape there's a program, kind of like a virus, that will do a network scan and download any unprotected data. Just find some terminal you can hook it up to once you're down there."

I nodded. "Sure. Haylen?"

We looked at each other and it didn't need saying. We hugged goodbye.

"Thanks for everything," I said.

"Good luck."

With that past me, I jumped into the nearest vertibird and told the pilot to take me down to earth. I felt uncomfortable without my backpack; I had only taken the now silenced revolver and a bandolier of .44 rounds.

I thanked the pilot and walked to meet up with Proctor Ingram. She was standing on a platform which overlooked the square with the molecular relay.

I took in a deep breath.

"I'm here," I said weakly.

"Ready?" She asked.

I felt butterflies in my stomach.

"No, but I don't reckon I can turn away now."

Ingram gave me a friendly laugh.

"You'll be fine." Someone put a hand on my shoulder. I glanced back to see Danse, dressed in only his uniform. Not combat ready.

"Came to see the fireworks?" I asked.

"If this is to be the last time I see you, I wanted to make it a proper goodbye."

The fact that everyone assumed I was going to die wasn't exactly doing wonders for my self-confidence.

"I can leave you two alone, if you need the space," Ingram said with a smirk, at which Danse grabbed my hand.

"There's no need," he replied. "I have the right to escort my partner to the location of her next assignment, after all."

"Come on then," she said and jumped off the platform. The ground shook a little under the weight. Neither of us were wearing power armor, so that option was out of the question for us.

Danse looked after her.

"Let's go. You've got a complicated operation ahead of you."

I nodded.

"And, since we're already at it..." Danse reached into his pocket and pulled out some object I couldn't see. "I'm under the impression I owe you something... I hope it can compensate for having to put up with me."

He was so dramatic that I couldn't resist a smile.

"Oh come on, we both know you were the one who had to put up with me."

"You make a fair point." He laughed. "Come now. Close your eyes."

"No," I laughed. "Are you serious?" But I obediently closed my eyes and felt him fumble with my uniform at my left wrist.

"How does it... Um... Here. You can look now."

I glanced at my wrist and saw a brand new chrome watch with, as I noticed in shock, golden lining. Working, too. Must have cost him a fortune.

"You didn't have to," I said after the initial surprise was gone. "I..." I really didn't know how to react, didn't know what to say. "Thank you, Danse. That's... unexpectedly sweet of you."

"I did promise you a wristwatch. This one may not be in top condition, but... I hope it will suffice. Besides, I think I owe you a parting gift on the day of your death."

"Ha ha." I laughed dryly. "That is extremely funny."

"It's been a pleasure serving with you, Paladin." He put a hand over his heart.

"Stop it." I narrowed my eyes, but I still couldn't decide whether he was being serious. "Because you're... not being serious, are you?"

He wouldn't be buying me an expensive gift if I were about to die, would he? Danse was a practical kind of man... He wouldn't waste that much money on someone who was going to die, he wasn't that sentimental... Right? Except the question wasn't how sentimental he was, but how sentimental he was _about me_.

Those people were all really making me feel bad about this.

We went to the teleporter together, without sharing as much as a single word. When I reached out for his hand, he shied away. _So much for emotional support from friends._

Ingram was putting numbers into the large console wired up to the whole thing. "Should be ready..." she said absently. Sparks were coming from the machine, and that didn't look very inviting. "Okay, Nora, you can jump on. The relay can only send one person, so you'll need to be extra careful."

"Wait... Alone?" My eyes widened in surprise. "I... I can't take anyone with me?"

Somehow, I had always imagined that Danse would be there with me when I finally got to the Institute. It just seemed to make sense. We had been together through so much that it seemed nearly impossible that I would have to face the final challenge on my own.

"I'm sorry, but that's not possible." Ingram gave me a reassuring smile. "But you can take whatever armor and weapons you want, as long as you keep them close to your body."

I nodded. I would be able to go in my power armor. At least that was a good thing.

"I'll be waiting here," said Danse. "Don't you dare not come back, understood?"

"Yes, sir." I managed to smile.

"If you want to grab anything else, make it quick," Ingram advised and I immediately thought about my power armor, which was in the barrack maybe twenty meters away from us. I dismissed that thought, though. If there was anything in the Institute I wasn't ready for, a suit of power armor wouldn't help me with facing it.

Was there anything else I would want to take with me?

I bit my lip and quickly threw my arms around the surprised Paladin Danse. Clearly he didn't know how to respond to a hug, because he only stiffened as I embraced him tightly. But if this was the last time I saw him, I had to... Just once, I wanted to hug him.

"Now I'm done," I said once I pulled away. Danse blinked several times, as if still processing what had just happened.

I looked at the teleporter we had built. If this thing was going to work, I deserved a Nobel prize. Even if the only thing I did was scavenge the parts.

I looked up at the sky. It was raining, but it still looked clear.

"What a nice day to have all the molecules of my body split apart and put back together somewhere else," I commented, not trying to cover up the sarcasm in my voice.

I stood on the machine's metal floor. Proctor Ingram powered up the system and the machine began emitting a low hum.

"Alright, Paladin." She looked at me, her hand on the power switch. "Ready?"

I looked at her seriously.

"Of course not," I said with all honesty. "Fire it up."

She flipped the switch and I _felt_ electricity rush through the teleporter's circuits as it prepared to gather enough power to send me... Somewhere.

It was going to happen. The Institute. I was finally going to get there.

The last thing I saw was the two of them saluting to me with solemn expressions. The military sendoff. For a dead soldier.

Then, there was a blinding flash of light, I saw a spark, felt lightning hit into me, and the entire world disappeared.

 **New Rank: Brotherhood of Steel Paladin - with the Brotherhood behind you, you'll never fall! While in power armor, your health regenerates automatically.**  
 **Level up.**  
 **New Perk: Resolve - your determination guides you to success! From now on, generate +5% XP from any faction quest, and get an additional +10 damage threshold when travelling with Preston Garvey, Paladin Danse, Deacon, or X6-88.**


	28. Man And Institution

**Chapter Twenty-Five  
** **Man And Institution**

* * *

I gasped at the air as I suddenly remembered how to breathe. The world came into focus as suddenly as it had blurred out.

I was still alive!

I looked at my hands, overjoyed to see them in place. I flexed my fingers experimentally. Everything was okay.

I coughed. Immediately, I covered my mouth, cursing myself for being so reckless. No one was coming, thankfully. I looked around - the metal platform I was standing on had to be the molecular relay. The walls, the ceiling, and all furniture was perfectly white and unbelievably _clean_ and _new_. The floor was polished to a shine.

I was finally here. The Institute. I had made it.

And I was alone.

But that was also good, because as much as the lack of allies worried me, the lack of enemies was comforting. I would have a better chance of... whatever it was I intended to do... if I remained undetected.

Strangely enough, I'd thought by now, I would be overtaken by emotions and a burning need for revenge... Instead, my mind was perfectly clear. I hadn't forgetten my orders, either.

There was a large computer in the middle of this room; I quickly inserted Ingram's holotape into it and initiated the scan. It was loading for so long that I could only wonder what amounts of data I was collecting. It had to be a lot... I just hoped no one from the Institute would notice this intrusion on their internal network.

When the message that the scan was complete finally appeared on the screen, I could finally breathe out. No one had come to me so far. I was still completely alone...

This whole place was suspiciously clean. The whole world on the surface was in either rust, dirt or just radiation... The Institute was free of all that.

I looked around the hall. There was a door on my left and what looked like a futuristic elevator at the very end.

I tried the door, but it was closed. The elevator, then...? I wasn't sure if I wanted to draw that much attention to myself... How come they hadn't noticed I had used their teleportation device? It seemed almost impossible that I hadn't been noticed so far. This was more than unnerving - it was just suspicious.

I touched the elevator.

 _"So, you made it."_

I froze at the voice that came from the intercom system. The man had to be talking to me.

 _"Don't be so surprised, your attempts to tap into our relay system were... rather crude. Everyone knows you're here."_

Oh. Well, at least I didn't have to hide. But why would they keep me alive all this time?

"...Who are you?" I asked aloud.

 _"My name is Father. The Institute is under my direction."_

Their fucking _leader_. Well, there was no standing back from this now.

 _"I'm sure you have many questions. How about we discuss them in person?"_

"I don't have much of a choice, huh?"

 _"You have a point... I know what you might be thinking right now. About the Institute. About me. I'm sure you heard a lot about us during those last six months, and I know it can't have been anything good... But all I want from you is to put all of that into perspective."_

"And how do you wanna do that?"

 _"Come down here. Let's talk."_ The man cleared his throat. Or maybe he just coughed? He didn't exactly sound young. _"This elevator will take you into the Institute. And then, you can re-establish your opinion on us."_

I had to agree. I was being played, of course, but I couldn't do anything about it. I just had to roll along.

I pressed the call button and the glass doors slid open, letting me walk inside. There was only one button, and I pressed it.

The elevator took off immediately - even deeper underground.

I sucked in a breath when the earth around the glass elevator shaft disappeared, replaced by a vast hall. The whole place had to be at least thirty meters high, and at least that much in every other direction. It was a whole underground colony! It was a city! People - and synths - walking on sterile clean catwalks between different platforms and floors. Green. Trees in pots every now and then. Of course, they did have to get oxygen from somewhere. But those amazing, healthy plants were nothing like the dying shrubs in the Wasteland.

 _"Impressive, isn't it? Welcome to the Institute."_

It was amazing. It was just everything. It was all white and clean, and not a single drop of radiation, I was sure. I had taken a bath last night and the uniform I was wearing was brand new, but I was still under the impression that my presence alone would contaminate the place.

It was just perfect. Technological advancement, science development... A place without all the radiation, all the danger... It was too good to believe.

Just looking at this little utopia (because that's exactly what the Institute was, now that I'd seen it, I knew it - it was just utopia.) made my feelings rise like a wave.

Rage.

That was what I was feeling while I looked at this impossibly good place. Rage, because none of that was in the Wasteland. Because the Institute had the means to make the world better and yet, they kept that all to themselves. Why? What could possibly justify that kind of selfish behavior?

If that Father person wanted to talk to me, so be it. I would gladly learn what kind of excuse the Institute had.

But I really doubted it would manage to convince me.

The elevator descended even below that vast hall, confirming my belief that the Institute indeed spread far lower and farther under the ground than we had thought. When the door eventually opened, I stepped into a sterile white hallway. I looked around, but there was nothing of interest in sight.

 _"I hope you're impressed yet."_ the voice from the intercom came on again. I tensed. I didn't like the idea of being watched like that. _"There is a lot I will want to talk to you about. Including that network scan you did."_

Damn it!

 _"But for now..."_ The man sounded frustratingly smug, like he knew he had me on the string. _"For now, perhaps, since you've humored me, I can try to humor you. If you take the door at the end of this hallway, I think you will reconsider my offer."_

I angrily tapped my foot on the frustratingly clean floor. I couldn't even do anything! Cautiously, I flicked off the safety on my laser pistol. I pushed the switch on the wall and the automated door slid open.

It was a small room - a desk with a chair, and a jigsaw puzzle scattered on the ground. There was a boy, maybe ten years old, trying to put it together. He was dressed in a white body suit like some kind of lab subject, but he appeared completely calm and at home as he played.

I covered my mouth.

"...Shaun," I whispered. "Oh, my God. Is it really you?"

The boy looked at me and slowly stood up. "I'm Shaun," he answered with childish simplicity. "Who are you?"

"Oh..." I couldn't even control my emotions anymore. "Thank God. What did they do? Did they hurt you?" I took a step in his direction and he took a step back.

"What's... going on?" He was starting to get suspicious.

"Shh," I said quickly. "It's alright, honey, it's fine. I'm here now. I'm-" I looked at him and I still couldn't believe it. "Oh, my God. Shaun." I felt my eyes watering. "I've been looking for you... For _so long_. _"_

He took a step back. "I don't know you!"

"It's me, I'm..." My voice broke, but I gently reached out to the boy. He shied away from my hand. "I'm your mom, Shaun. I'm here. I'm finally here."

"You're not my mother!" He looked around, terrified. "Father! Father, please, she's trying to take me!"

I stepped away as it fully dawned on me. Of course I couldn't assume any position in his life after those ten years. But the Institute- they didn't have the right!

"I'll kill them," I growled. "Where are they? Shaun?"

He shook his head. "Please! Just leave," he whimpered. "I don't want to go anywhere!"

"Oh no." An elderly man dressed in a white lab coat shook his head, standing in the newly-opened doorway. "This won't do at all. S9-23, recall code: Cirrus." Immediately, the boy went completely limp, as if someone had flipped the off switch in his brain. The scientist tapped his chin with a pen. "Fascinating. The child's responses are not at all what I had predicted. But not completely natural, either... He's just a prototype, you must understand."

I stared at him and to be honest, I was at a loss of words. The way he said it all, without any consideration, and expecting me to follow up... It was too much.

"He... Ah... Wha... Huh?" I couldn't choose which of my millions of questions to ask first. Who are you? Why haven't you killed me yet? What's going on here? "The boy is a synth?"

"Like I said, only a prototype. We've just begun to test his responses to heavy emotional strain. A child's brain is far more complex than an adult's... It still needs some adjustment." The man looked at me. "I hope you'll forgive me for using your situation like that, but I was hoping for a natural reaction from both subjects."

"Subject?" I growled. "Did you just call me a subject?"

Father put away the clipboard and pen. "No, no, no. Nothing like this. This is a bit of an unusual situation, you must understand." He cleared his throat. "Let us begin again. Hello, Nora. I'm called Father and I'm the director of the Institute. It is so very, very amazing to finally meet you."

I shook my head. "I could kill you," I said slowly. "I could. Right here, right now."

"You're right. I'm unarmed, I would be powerless to stop you." He raised his eyebrows. "But you won't do it."

"No, I won't." I took in a deep breath. I needed to calm down. "Tell me where is my son. You can't tell me all that time I've spent trying to get here was for nothing, you can't expect me to be patient after a year of searching!"

He slowly nodded his head. "Your anger is completely justified, but you have to understand that this... situation... It's far more complicated than you could have imagined."

"I doubt that."

"Waking from cryogenic stasis, you've witnessed your husband being killed and your son taken from you." I noticed he avoided the word 'kidnap'. "After that, you were frozen again. When you woke up, you were soon to learn that your son was no longer an infant, but a ten-year-old boy. You believed - you _accepted_ that ten years had passed." He paused. "Is it hard to believe that it wasn't ten, but sixty years? Because that is the case." He averted my unbelieving stare. "Nora... My name is Shaun. It's me. I'm your son. Raised by the Institute, and now its leader."

"Bullshit," I said quickly. "You expect me to believe that?"

"It is the truth. And whether you believe it or not doesn't change it."

I stared at him intently, trying to find any kind of family semblance, anything that would say if he was lying. But no matter how hard I tried to find Nate's features in this man's face, I couldn't.

Instead, I only saw myself.

I took a step back. "Holy shit," I whispered. Tears built up in my eyes. This couldn't be happening. Not after everything I'd gone through. I deserved at least one good thing, at least one small victory. I deserved my baby. "Sixty years?" I whispered. "Sixty. Years. All that time, wasted."

Father wasn't as emotional as me - he actually seemed awkward, like he didn't know what to do. "I understand you may be shaken by this... I've had much more time to cope with it."

"But... What about your father? He never got to see you grow up. The Institute killed him. How can you be on their side?"

"Yes, an unfortunate incident. Kellogg's never been a very trusty employee and his methods left much to be desired. But he was what the Institute needed - his life artificially prolonged with specialized cybernetics, he served us for over eighty years. I suppose, in the end, you did what you had to. I don't blame you, but neither did I blame Kellogg for your husband's death. It's just collateral damage, it's always inevitable. I had many, many years to accept that he was gone. I accepted it, and that was that."

"You're calling your father collateral damage?!" I screamed. "He was a _person_! He loved you, cared for you, gave his life trying to protect you! And you can't even spare one tear?! Collateral damage?!"

"I knew this my whole life - I've had time to cope. Mother... it's been sixty years. I realize it's recent for you, but I've already had my share of mourning."

I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but honesty.

"You're not my son," I growled, averting his gaze. "So don't call me your mother."

"It's hard to accept, I know, but if you want to do any tests... If you don't trust my word..." He shook his head. "But I can assure you, I am your son."

"No, you're not my son. You will never be my son, that right was stolen by the very people you represent now." I dug my nails into my palms, but nothing could drown out the aching of my heart. Sixty years lost. His whole life. "I wasn't the one who held you as you drifted off to sleep. I wasn't the one who carried you when you didn't know how to walk yet. I wasn't the one who cried tears of joy when you took your first steps. I wasn't the one who hugged you every morning before you went to school. I wasn't there to cheer on you as you scored in baseball. I wasn't there to see you graduate high school, I wasn't there to console you after your first heartbreak, I didn't even get to weep after you moved out and I saw your empty room for the first time..."

I swallowed my tears.

"No, Shaun," I whispered. "You're _not_ my son."

"Please." He reached out in my direction, but he hesitated and took his hand back. "I'm sorry, I didn't take into account you would be... young." He coughed into his fist. "Excuse me. As I was saying, if you don't trust my word, there's tests for that... But if you need confirmation still, it's not-"

"Can you..." I leaned on the wall for support. "Can you just... stop talking for a while? I..." I wanted to throw up. This was not at all what I had been prepared for.  
Certainly hadn't expected to find my son older than me. The leader of the Institute... Holy fuck. Holy fucking hell damned with shit.

"Breathe," Shaun advised.

I looked up at him with a mixture of feelings. "What the hell," I whispered. "What in the hell is all this? Is this some kind of personal nightmare?"

"I realize I'm not what you were expecting, but you did come here looking for family. I'm your family. The Institute... You've got to give us a chance." He held me up as I eventually tried to stand on my own again. "Give me a chance."

"I can't," I whispered, shaking my head. "This is wrong. I can't."

"Rumors and misinformation. That's all the things you've heard about the Institute are. No one in the Commonwealth knows. No one understands. But I beg of you... Please try to understand. You've seen the Institute. You know, Nora. Don't you?"

I hung my head. I couldn't lie now.

"...It's paradise," I said. "It's just perfect."

"Go take a walk. Talk to my scientists. Breathe real air for once. You'll see it's not as it's made out to be."

"Fine," I said. "I will do it. But I'm not doing this for your sake. It's for the sake of these long months I spent looking for you, for all the time I sacrificed to get here." I turned away. "As far as I'm concerned, my son is dead."

He looked at me with an indulgent smile. "I'm right here."

oooOOO***OOOooo

I soon figured out how come there were so many people down here. Most of them were synths - dressed in white body suits like the one the Shaun-not-Shaun had been wearing or Coursers in dark grey coats. I strayed far from those.

In fact, I tried to stray far from everyone and every _thing_ in this place.

It was a weird feeling, to be on enemy territory and yet feel completely safe. Of course, the hostile and/or curious looks I got from pretty much everyone didn't make for a friendly atmosphere, but I somehow couldn't blame those people. I was probably the first outsider they had seen in sixty years.

The trees were still an amazing sight after months in the Wasteland. I hadn't seen green like this anywhere in the Commonwealth. It was just incredible.

I felt anger rise inside of me every time I looked at all those amazing, amazing things that the Institute didn't share with the outside world.

I tried to control my emotions. For Shaun. He wanted me to like this place, to give it a chance. So I did. But still, every time I thought about all those people who dying, starving and being killed up on the surface, I felt more and more bitterness.

Too good. This place was too good.

"Hi," I said to a young red-haired woman in a white body suit. "Hello. One might wonder... Where is the uh, BioScience division?"

I figured since I was already kind of accepted here, I might do some recon. And get that serum for Virgil.

The door to the BioScience division was white with green highlights, which was kind of ironic because my Biology binders in school had always been green. I didn't know why that mattered, but it was the first thing to pop into my head as I stared at the door.

I pushed it open.

"The name's Clayton," he said. "Clayton Holdren. Nice to meet you."

Nice? Wow, the guy sure did know how to be polite. I knew none of them wanted me there. They knew I was doing recon for the enemy, they all did. Was Shaun really thinking he could get me on their side?

"So you're in charge of the Biology division in the Institute, huh?" I tried to be nonchalant, but I was stressed as fuck. "Are the monkeys here to jump on me if I do so a wrong move?"

He laughed. "You're funny. That's good. Humor is good for dealing with pressure. I hope you know how much pressure Father is putting on you and everyone else here. It seems to matter a lot to him that you... How to put it, see eye-to-eye with us."

I had to resist my urge to punch him in the face. That's not what I was doing here! "I am here, so... Go on. Talk. Try to convince me."

"Right." He put his things away and guided me closer to the cage. "We're responsible for synth development here at BioScience. Ways to create organic matter more realistic and organic than before. Crowning achievement, so far." He nodded at the monkeys.

"The gorillas are synths?" I exclaimed. "Wow. And I thought you only do humans."

"Well, this was the next step... We're only just trying with the animals now. I'm hoping to achieve synthetic farming, where real animals would have no place to suffer for synthetics would take their place." He nervously ruffled his hair. "It's only an idea, of course. Before we achieved what we have now, there were the Gen1's and the Gen2's..."

"Gen1's and Gen2's?" I asked. Someone had said that before. Someone had said that... Deacon. Deacon knew a lot about synths. Deacon was a synth.

"Generation 1 and 2. Those are the 'older model' synths. Living on the surface, I imagine you would have noticed differences between our synths."

I had. The very first time I had fought synths, I had been surprised to see robots very advanced but not very humane. Later, it kind of stopped being important... Synths were synths whether they looked human or not. Of course now I knew that wasn't true. Those older ones were robots, the new ones were practically people.

"Generation 1 are those mechanical endoskeletons, you might. They're not very good in the looking, and their programming doesn't give much in terms of artificial intelligence, but they're a reliable resource. Generation 2 was supposed to be our crowning achievement... But it didn't work out. It was the first time we tried mixing in organic matter with the mechanical and it never did turn out well. We even tried testing for implanting personality and intelligence upon the synths, but that prototype was discarded quickly."

 _...Valentine_. I shut my eyes. _Damn_.

"And Generation 3 is our actual crowning achievement. Synthetics indistinguishable from humans, with state-of-the-art artificial intelligence and individual personalities. I have got to say, it's all thanks to you."

"Me?" I couldn't be more surprised.

"Not directly, but... Yes. Vault 111 was like a miracle. All those people, frozen in time... Healthy specimens from a world that didn't know contamination like the one that thrives now... And among them, impossibly, an infant."

I shook my head. I didn't want to hear that story. Not like this. Not in some kind of scientific emotionless way.

"The DNA of that child helped us finally achieve a breakthrough in our research. Ever since the man you now know as Father came to the Institute, our synths have been more and more advanced. Right now, they have all it takes to replace humanity - should the unfortunate need ever arise, of course."

"Are you telling me those things can _reproduce_?" I took a step back. "Like people?"

"Just like people, I'd say," he said proudly. "The DNA of a synth is now perfectly compatible with an average human. Of course, we haven't begun testing for this field, but-"

"You intend to interbreed synths with humans?!" I exclaimed. "Are you insane?!"

"Why the third degree? All for the good of science, of course. And our synths are biologically as human as they come - even more human than the people on the surface."

I felt sick.

"I have to leave," I muttered and quickly ran out of the laboratory.

Finding an empty restroom was a bit harder than I had expected, but it was empty and I could completely freely turn to the nearest sink and throw up the rest of the last meal I had eaten on the surface. This place was insane. They _did_ want to replace humanity with their robots. Not only did they want to do it, they had already _begun_.

I had to find Doctor Li and get out of here as soon as possible. Then find a way to destroy all of their research. Or in some different order. The matter remained that I had made up my mind - there was no way I was going to let the Institute continue that line of research. I hadn't realized it until now, but I was _angry_. Not just angry, I was _burning enraged_!

They had taken my family from me - killed my husband and raised my son in their own way. But the things I had seen down here exceeded even my worst nightmares. Those people were insane! They were insane _and_ they had the technology to use for achieving their goals.

As far as I was aware, they could burn in hell.

As far as I was concerned, I would _make_ them burn.

Damn it. I had had my chance to look for Virgil's serum. He wouldn't keep it at the lab, would he? It would be a proof of his escape plan. He wasn't that stupid.

I managed to locate and steak into Virgil's room on one of the higher floors, hoping to look there. There was a floor safe hidden under a rug, but I found it empty. So was his desk, and the wardrobe, and the cabinets, for that matter. I couldn't stay here too long, that would be suspicious... Still feeling sick, I left the room.

I had to find Doctor Li. That revibrated in my head over and over. Those were my orders. That was what mattered. There was also someone known as the Patriot here who would help the Railroad every once in a while... Or so Dez believed. No one had ever met the Patriot. Sounded to me like just another pretty story to keep you asleep at night. I had had enough of those.

Seeing what my son had grown up to be... It had broken me, in a way. I hadn't been expecting to find him, most of the time. So when I had and it had turned out... Well. I was disillusioned with the whole world at the moment.

I looked up. Even this place didn't seem so amazing anymore. Trees, technology, all white and clean... It was making me angry - in a strange, calm way.

I had thought anger wasn't a calm emotion, but as it was turning out, it could also be pretty tame.

The door with red highlights was labeled Synth Retention Bureau. I was guessing this was the place that made life difficult for the Railroad.

From the very entrance, I was kind of amazed. There was a shooting range where a Courser was trying out some kind of energy weapon. An older man in a white and red jumpsuit sitting by the desk and working on a kind of computer I had never seen before. The screen was fused to the keyboard so that it could be adjusted and opened/closed at any time... Just how advanced had they gotten in those two hundred years?

"Nora Smith," the man said, turning in his chair to face me.

"Just Nora," I corrected him. That had hurt.

"Huh." He looked at me. "Let me see... Human. Female. Twenty-seven years old, _but_ physically twenty-six. That's interesting, I'm sure there is a good story behind that."

"Fair enough that you know everything about me and yet I don't know anything about you," I mumbled sarcastically.

"Oh, that's the way it's supposed to be. We know everything about everyone." His smile filled me with a whole new kind of fear. "My name is Jason, but I doubt that information matters much to you. You will be gone before the day ends, I bet."

That was mostly true, but I didn't like that presuming tone.

"What if I'm not?" I asked harshly. "What if I want to stay here, in the Institute?"

"But you don't. I don't know what you're hoping for? To gain our trust? You're a mass murderer by now, you will never be trusted. And even if so, what would that trust give you? You can't control the Institute - the Institute controls you, even if you don't know it. We know everything about everyone. Our synths are everywhere." He opened a folder in his terminal. "Through enough patience, we've established a fast, working web of spies all over the Commonwealth. The mayor of Diamond City? He's our synth. That singer at Goodneighbor? Synth." He looked at my uniform. "Brotherhood of Steel, was it? I can assure you- Fuck!"

I slammed the computer shut on his fingers. This man had to be lying. There was no way they had synth spies everywhere. Not in the Brotherhood. Not Hancock's girlfriend. They were just playing me.

Without a word, I ran out of the room, blood pumping in my ears. From the moment I had arrived at the Institute, Father had been playing me. They were all carefully manipulating my emotions and my point of view. They wanted to take the better of me.

I wasn't going to let that happen. I had come to the Institute with two very clear goals: finding my son and finding Doctor Li. One of those was done.

White door with blue highlights. Robotics Division.

A woman, tinkering with something that looked, alarmingly enough, a lot like a RobCo Pip-Boy. She was wearing, much as expected, a goddamn lab coat. I was really beginning to hate all scientists in the world.

"Doctor Madison Li?" I asked, trying not to sound too angry. "You should come with me."

The woman looked up at me, initially surprised, then - when she saw my uniform - terrified. But she controlled her fear professionally and just sighed.

"Well, I somehow knew you would find me even in here." She looked me straight in the eyes. "Fine. Shoot. Execute me for all I care. Or murder in some terrible way, I don't care. That's what you _do_ , isn't it?"

I stared at her for a moment, dumbstruck.

"Wha-?" I uttered. "I'm sorry, but do you even know me?"

"I don't need to know you personally - you're a Brotherhood of Steel Paladin. You're here to execute me, am I right?"

"No?" I said, raising an eyebrow. "I'm Paladin Nora. And I'm here to rescue you..."

"I don't think I need rescuing," she snorted. "I'm fine here, thank you. I'm not wanted up on the surface. The Brotherhood made that clear enough."

Well, there was something Maxson _hadn't_ told me. I had been expecting this woman to be cooperative at the very least - but from the look of it, she was ready to hate me simply because I was from the Brotherhood.

"Look, um, Doctor. Please." I joined my hands. "Just hear me out. I'm not some kind of executioner here or anything... Just consider me. I came here to talk to you, that's all I want to do. Just talk."

She looked at me. "Just talk," she repeated. Raising her eyes at the ceiling, she breathed out. "You're the Director's mother."

"Apparently," I replied weakly. I didn't like the idea of being known as someone related to the leader of the Institute.

"Oh, for the love of..." She stood up and walked to the door. To my surprise, she turned on the magnetic locks. "Now we can talk. And if you still want to shoot me, the door is soundproof."

I took a step in her direction. "I really, really don't. Look... Doctor Li, are you happy here?"

She narrowed her eyes. "What's that supposed to mean? I'm in the most technologically advanced place in the Wasteland, surrounded by this century's brightest minds. Of- of course I'm happy here. If the Brotherhood of Steel really wanted me on their side, they should have respected my ideals." She crossed her arms. "I. Will not. Work on a weapon."

I wasn't stupid - I had heard her hesitate.

I sighed. "Look, I have no idea what happened between you and Maxson, but the Brotherhood had always respected your career. Do you really think working here in the Institute is going to substitute for what you had up there? Because I've seen up there and I see down here, and I can tell you that up there is the _real_ life. With real challenges, for real scientists." I smiled a bit. "I've heard about what you did last time you worked with the Brotherhood of Steel. Purifying irradiated water. That's the kind of thing science should be used for in this hellhole of a world. But tell me, Doctor, has as much as a single project you've worked on for the Institute done that much good? Or has it all been for the Institute?"

She didn't answer for a few seconds. "You're one smooth talker. Still, my answer's no. At least, here, I'm not ordered around like some kind of hired help. Everyone in the Institute is treating me with respect, and that's what matters."

I looked at her. "You're not happy here, are you."

"I have no idea how you do it," she whispered. She looked down. "I had thought this would be it. The Institute. When that ass Zimmer came to DC to try and recruit me, I thought he was crazy. And yet, I chose this. On my own. I chose to abandon everything I'd been working on and leave for the Commonwealth, to find this Institute. At first, it really was like a dream come true. But..." She looked at me and I knew she had just realized I was a stranger. "But things aren't always as they seem. And dreams are for the naïve." She opened the door. "Goodbye, _Paladin."_

I didn't go. "You aren't happy here, and there is a reason. What about all those projects you mentioned? Are you alright leaving that unfinished?"

"How can you understand? You're not a scientist. James was a scientist. Sam was a scientist. People like you don't understand."

"But I do," I said. "I do understand. I know what it's like to know you started something and you hadn't seen it through. It's just going to eat you from the inside out, and there's nothing you can do. That's just how it is."

Doctor Li hung her head. I had never seen anyone look so weary before. She looked at least ten years older now.

"You're not wrong, you know." She laughed quietly. There were tears in her eyes. "You're not wrong. The damn Brotherhood would let me work on my own projects, that's how it goes. And here... Sometimes I don't even know what I'm working on. The secrecy... It's killing me. I try to ask Shaun, and he talks but he doesn't say anything... This whole place is wrong." She looked up, meeting my eyes. "But it's been the fulfillment of my dreams. All I'd ever wanted."

"Is it-"

"You were right about one thing there." There was fire in her eyes. The fire I knew all too well, pure determination. "I did do a good thing with the help of the Brotherhood. It was a long time ago, but if they're still willing to try and save the world, then so will I. You can tell whoever sent you they've regained the services of Doctor Madison Li. The Institute had been a dream. Maybe I should have let it stay that way... Besides, it's... It's been too long..." She covered her mouth, but I knew that breaking voice. She was about to cry. "Too long since I'd seen the sky."

oooOOO***OOOoo

I stayed with Doctor Li for a while longer, until she got a hold of herself. She didn't say much after deciding to go back to the surface. I suppose she was thinking of everything she would be leaving behind here. Those beautiful, green trees. That would be hard to forget.

But for me, it would mostly be a memory not of what was, but of what could have been. What could have been if people had worked together. If the Institute hadn't separated themselves from the Wasteland. If there hadn't been any prejudice towards ghouls just because they look different.

There was a world that I wanted to believe in, a world I would want to change the Wasteland into. Not the terrible place it was now, with gunshots and dying and monsters and hatred... But not the America I had known. Not the country that had led to its own destruction, the place of consumptionism and political disregard and terrible social state. Not the world that had enrolled in a war that would kill it. Not the world that had arisen from the ashes of that war. No...

We needed a better world now. A world built on the mistake we had made. Our humanity shows in the fact that we get better. We learn from our mistakes. We get beaten down and yet we stand back up and keep fighting. Because we believe there's a better future ahead.

That was what I wanted to believe as I stood before the choice that would define the future of this world.

I had roamed the Institute for a while longer, but it hadn't been anything. Those people didn't want me there. They knew how much I resented them. It was actually a matter of who would pull the trigger first. I had sought out Shaun eventually, knowing it was the time. We had to confront eventually, and there was no reason for me to prolong it.

I found him in the room that had to be his study. Honestly, every single room in the Institute looked almost exactly the same. There was no character, no diversity. Everything the same.

"I've made my choice," I said quietly.

He looked down. "I know. Your choice had been made when you came here."

I didn't answer.

"I won't keep you here. You're free to go if you want. The Institute will manage without your contribution, regretful as it is. I'll let you go, I won't stop you. But if you decide to leave, I'll have to confiscate that holotape you recorded. And if you leave now, the next time we see each other will not be on friendly terms." He shook his head. He was saying it even though he knew it was in vain. "Stay. Stay here, help us build a better future. A better humankind. No, no... Help _me._ We can still have a family. Starting here and now... Be a family."

For a split-second, that idea tempted me. The idea of turning my back on everything in the Commonwealth, of leaving all that radiation and death and danger behind... Of staying here, safe, with my son. Of living a long, uneventful life in the safety of the Institute. Never again having to worry if there would be something to eat for dinner. Never again having to dodge bullets, run away from danger and kill others just to survive. Never again fearing I wouldn't wake up the next morning.

I blinked, and it was all gone.

"I'm sorry, Shaun." I shook my head. "But if this is what you do... If this is what you're responsible for... Then my son truly is dead."

He looked at me, and something in his eyes told me that, somehow, he knew what I had decided. That he knew what I was going to do and that he understood why I would do it.

And I hated him for that.

oooOOO***OOOooo

I ran through the frustratingly clean hallways, not stopping, not looking back.

My footsteps banging on the metal floor.

Blood pumping in my ears.

My heart, beating faster than ever before.

Just fractions. Not the full image.

"That was murder!"

"He _trusted_ you!"

They were trying to keep up with me, but deep inside they had to know that they wouldn't.

"You killed- How could you?! He was _your son_!"

So I ran. Ran, faster than ever before, intent to get to the teleporter that would take me away from those people, away from that place, away, away, away. Just away.

I felt lighting hit into me again just seconds before the droplets of rain began falling down onto my face. I looked up at the sky.

Rain.

Rain. It was raining. It had been raining when I left for the Institute.

It was the same rain. I had spent there barely more than two hours. It felt like a lifetime.

How? How? How?

Had that even been real? How was that possible?

"Nora?! Nora!"

Danse and Ingram, running in my direction when they saw I had fallen to my knees. They asked questions, wanted to know things, expressed concern. But I just looked up at the sky, at that cold, cold rain that washed away all the anger, all the spite, all the sadness and left me completely alone. Alone.

Alone.

Two Brotherhood officers, kneeling next to an emotionally wrecked woman.

The grey, grey sky of the cruel and unforgiving Wasteland.

The cold wind pulling at my hair and blowing away any hope of getting back to the life that had been before.

The rain, falling down the sky, onto my face and slipping down my cheeks, together with my tears.

I passed out.

 **You are now enemies with the Institute.**

 **Level** **up.** **Maximum** **level.**  
 **New** **perk: Toughness - your brutal experiences in the Commonwealth have hardened you. Take 10% less damage from all enemies.**


	29. Fallout and Aftermath

**Chapter Twenty-Six**  
 **The Fallout, the Aftermath**

* * *

When I woke up in the Prydwen's clinic and realized I was completely alone, I didn't know what to feel.

For starters, I didn't _want_ to feel anything.

I sat up on the bed and looked around. I didn't know why, but this loneliness was unnerving. After accomplishing something as great as infiltrating the Institute, I deserved to be surrounded by people after waking up.

How long had I been out? I glanced at my watch. It was ten in the morning, but maybe it had been days. I tried getting up and realized I felt physically completely fine. Better than usually, actually. Mentally... I felt just empty.

I was still dressed in my Brotherhood officer's uniform, I still had a bandolier wrapped around my waist. No one had as much as touched me, except for the small bandage on my right forearm, where the sleeve of my uniform was rolled up. I didn't recall getting injured in my arm in any way, but decided to just let that pass.

I walked out of the clinic. There were two Scribes chatting in the corridor. I greeted them with a curt nod of my head, and to my surprise, they saluted in return. Of course, I had forgotten I was now a Paladin. A real, proper officer.

"-but at least _I'm_ trying to be reasonable, God damn it!" I heard from the bridge. _Danse_. I'd recognize that voice anywhere.

"Rethink your priories, Paladin. What's more important - your _friend_ or the Brotherhood?" _Elder Maxson_. I narrowed my brows at the tone of his voice. An argument?

"In all honesty, sir, he does have a point." _Proctor Taegan_. What were they talking about? "And until Nora comes around, there's not any place for speculations."

"Fine." Maxson wrinkled his nose, annoyed. I walked into the room, but didn't interrupt them. "If you're so insistent, I'll let Proctor Ingram know you volunteered for the job. Take Nora. I'm done with both of you." He noticed me. "And speak of the devil, here's the woman herself."

As if on cue, they all looked at me - Maxson with annoyance, Taegan with relief, Danse with concern.

"Hell of a miracle," Taegan congratulated me, patting me on the back. "I wasn't so sure whether you would survive."

"Of course she would," Maxson said in a voice that suggested he would rather be rid of us as soon as possible. "Paladin Danse? Get _lost_. I don't want to even lay my eyes on you for at least twenty-five hours, understood, soldier?"

"Yes, sir." He made an expression, but wasn't stupid enough to stay in the room. I wondered what had happened while I had been out of it. Danse must have messed up in some way.

" _Taegan_." The Elder ordered and once we were alone, crossed his arms. He leaned on the wall. "Sit _down_ , Paladin. Don't worry, I won't bite."

I hesitantly took the place on the couch.

"Whatever Danse has said-" I began, but Maxson silenced me by raising his hand.

"Stop that. Just stop that. My patience is wearing thin as it is. I don't want to speak of it any more than I need to." He closed his eyes, leaning his head back. "I trust your mission in the Institute has gone well, _Paladin_." He said it like it was some kind of honor, like he needed to remind me how much I owed him. Like I didn't deserve that title.

"Yes, sir. I like to think that it did."

"Stop talking like that!" He shouted and I cowered, equally shocked and confused. "I have no nerves for sugarcoating anything," he growled, and I decided that Danse wasn't guilty in any way and Maxson was just ticked off today. To be honest, I was afraid of him when he was angry. The fact that he was the leader of the entire Brotherhood of Steel only made him more dangerous.

He wasn't entirely emotionally stable, I realized. Experienced and visionary as he was, Maxson was only twenty years old. It was to understand that he would be.. more eager to act. But... what was more than obvious was that he was hurt. He was an angry young man. And he had an army under his command.

It was at that moment when I finally understood the concern that Paladin Brandis had expressed about Maxson's ability to lead the Brotherhood, the things Proctor Ingram and Proctor Tagean had told me about the soldiers' morale and uncertainty towards Maxson's commandment... I understood it all when I saw the burning rage in his eyes.

His hatred for the Institute. It wasn't just that. He wouldn't _stop_ at that. Not at the Institute. If Elder Maxson got his way, this war would just go on. Super mutants, ghouls... He would find something to direct his anger towards.

"Well, Paladin?" He stepped his foot impatiently. "Did you manage to find Doctor Li?"

"Yes, sir. I've convinced her to return to the Brotherhood. Although I'm not sure how long it will take her to get a chance to escape from the Institute now..."

"Where is she, then?"

I opened my mouth, not sure how to respond. Had he not heard me?

"As I've said, sir, it might be hard to escape from the Institute now. I've... They may be more alert after my visit."

"You left her at the Institute?" Maxson growled.

"She promised she would return to the Brotherhood..."

"Promised, my ass! How can you know she's to be trusted?! Because I know, and she's _not_." He started pacing around the room nervously. "Are you saying I've wasted all that time and supplies, for no result from your side?!"

I decided to follow Danse's cue and just accept the Elder's accusations in silence. I really wanted to answer with some cutting remark, but I kind of liked my new Paladin status. I didn't exactly want to lose it.

"I should have known sending you to the Institute after your personal vendetta wasn't a wise thing to do. You've completely disregarded the Brotherhood of Steel and my orders, Paladin." He was saying it in that tone again.

That was pretty much when my indecency tolerance barrier broke.

"Excuse me?!" I exclaimed. "My entire time down there was spent under the idea of the Brotherhood! Every time I said or did something in the Institute, I thought about how it would influence the Brotherhood!" I stood up from the sofa. "I talked to your stupid, uncooperative Doctor Li, I searched the whole damn place for that nonexistent cure, I even killed-!"

 _My own son._ But I would never say that aloud.

"Wait... I didn't know about that. Who did you kill?" Maxson demanded. "You can't just go around killing people in the Commonwealth, especially the Institute! Do you have any idea what the consequences for the Brotherhood might be?!" He leaned in to me, so close or foreheads were almost touching. "Who did you kill?!"

"I..." I fidgeted, but there was no way to lie my way out of the answer. "It was their leader. I killed the director of the Institute."

Maxson's breathing grew heavier. He took a step back.

"Get out of my sight," he ordered. "Go and get lost before I decide on some line of punishment!"

I scrambled out of the room, shutting the door behind me. Taegan looked at me sympathetically.

"He's shouting rather loudly, isn't he?" I winced. He nodded. "You heard every word, didn't you?"

"Not _every_ word," he admitted. "But you weren't so silent yourself, either."

"I've got a hot temperament," I said bashfully. "Ask Paladin Danse and he'll tell you. It irritates him."

"You and the Elder both. That's a mix that shouldn't be stirred." He put a hand on my shoulder. "Chin up. He'll get over this soon enough."

I narrowed my brows. "Is he _drunk_?" I asked. "You're talking as if this is something that happens often."

"Drunk?" Proctor Taegan shook his head. "No, not Elder Maxson. Not on duty. He's just an excitable young man...Very excitable very young man. He tries to act like someone much older than he actually is, but even experience doesn't grant full emotional maturity."

"So basically you're saying that he has the right to shout at me, to treat soul to God innocent Danse-" I stopped, a red blush concealing my entire face. "You're saying he has the right to do all of that simply because he's mentally still a teenager? That sounds like you're excusing him. Among people of power, young age is _not_ an excuse."

"Come on," he said as we walked to the main deck. "I know how it might look for someone fresh in the Brotherhood, but Maxson's really a brilliant leader. I can't judge what kind of _man_ he is, because... you're right. He's excitable and sometimes acts aggressively towards some officers. Proctor Quinlan, Paladin Danse, Paladin Hudson... That's why he's never had my full support as Elder. But even in those fits of anger, he's never been violent with anyone, even though he technically can. He's never hit anyone. He doesn't enforce physical punishment."

"And that what you respect him for," I guessed.

"Among other things." Taegan leaned on the wall next to his post. I hadn't even noticed when we got there. "I guess I just wanted you to know that every man has both good and bad traits... That nobody is perfect."

I sighed. "I'm leaving here. He practically banished me anyway." I looked up at the ceiling. "It's just a few days, until he cools off."

I walked away in the direction of the power armor station. I intended to take mine with me.

"I _would_ do it, you know!" Taegan called out after me. I froze and looked back at him. "You asked, weeks ago. If Maxson did something to prove he's not suitable for being Elder."

 _Oh shit._ I had forgotten about that.

"I _would_ oppose him," Taegan said quietly. "Maxson is an amazing leader, but he's not necessarily a good man. And sadly, those two things can come together."

I nodded and left him there without a word.

Ingram was in her power armor frame, talking to someone dressed in a full suit. I recognized the marking of a Paladin, not that it mattered.

"Ah, Paladin. There you are," Ingram greeted me with a kind smile. "Almost thought the Elder incinerated you."

"I'm not even sure if he hates me or the entire universe," I complained. "What have I done wrong?"

"You did risk a lot by going to the Institute like that. I still can't quite believe that relay worked." She inserted a fusion core into the soldier's power armor and patted him on the shoulder. "All right, Paladin. You're free to go.

"Give Nora a one over too," he said. I recognize Danse's voice.

"Come here," she said and practically forced me into a suit of power armor. "So? Good? Not too tight?" She adjusted the armor plate on my shoulders with a wrench. "I wanted to repaint your old suit, but Paladin Cannote's managed to convince me that one of our most promising officers deserves a new one, so..." She took off my helmet. "So I fixed up this baby for you. Standard Brotherhood Paladin markings, with pocketed chest piece because you like to carry stuff around. Danse here added some mods himself, so you shouldn't complain about it being boring."

"Thank you," I said honestly. "At least one person doesn't want me dead today.

Ingram sighed. "It didn't go well with Maxson, did it?"

"You _think_?" I gave her a flat look.

"Danse told me. Well, he told me enough to guess you and Taegan didn't have it much better than he did."

"Maxson threatened my life," I deadpanned. "And don't get me started on his reaction to my lack of results."

"What _happened_ down there? You looked pretty shaken up back there, Paladin."

I really didn't want to talk about the Institute. The memory haunted me every time I closed my eyes. "I... The things I learned down there weren't easy to digest. Personally and ideologically."

"Maxson was angry enough when you came back all on your own, without anything. Then, everyone got all suspicious because you were completely unharmed and Danse wanted to be sure it's you because... Well, it seemed unlikely they would just let you go, so we had some DNA samples taken while you were asleep. Hope you don't mind."

I remembered the plaster bandage on m arm.

"You wanted to know if I'm not a synth? That's how much trust I deserve?" I didn't hide my bitterness - then again, why should I?

"Always better safe than sorry. Never too much caution nowadays." She patted my back. "Alright. You're free to go. Only one thing." She gave me my armor's helmet. "Always remember about head protection. You've got one hell of a brain in there, Paladin. Keep it safe."

"I will," I promised with a smile. "Okay, I'll _try_ to."

"And you're leaving?"

"Yes," I answered absently. "I don't want to be here while Maxson's after me. Besides, I've still got some things to take care of in the Commonwealth."

"There's that scientist, Brian Virgil."

"Yeah..." I said slowly. "Someone'll have to talk to him. He's already disillusioned with the Institute. He won't be a problem strategically. Ideologically, however..." I drifted off when I remembered the promise I had given to Danse a not to mention Virgil's _condition_ to anyone in the Brotherhood. I supposed it didn't matter in the end. There was no cure. "I'll have to deal with him."

"Whatever you say. You just go out there and make us proud. _Ad victoriam_ , Paladin."

" _Et_ _in infinitum_... Err, _semper_." I was seriously confusing myself with my broken use of Latin. "Just... yes."

I grabbed the power armor helmet and quickly walked down to the main deck. I'd catch a vertibird to the Glowing Sea (or at least as far as any sane person would take me) and confront Virgil. Oh... That was going to be a hard conversation.

Danse was standing next to a running vertibird, talking to the pilot (I recalled his name was Rico). When I approached, he excused himself to get the chance to shake my hand.

"I never had the occasion to congratulate you," he said with a smile. Then, he frowned. "It seems my role is over, then. I signed up to be your sponsor, but looking at you now, I can see there's nothing I could teach you about being a Brotherhood soldier that you don't already know." He laughed. "Guess I did my job too well. If this keeps on, you'll soon outrank me."

"You're leaving?" I asked, nodding my head at the vertibird. Danse bit his lip.

"You're not the only person the Elder's been angry at today," he said, looking somewhere that was not my face. "And you're not obliged to our partnership anymore. Solo missions, like you've always wanted."

"But this doesn't mean we have to go our separate ways," I argued. "We could still work together." I raised my eyes at him shyly. "...Would you like to?"

"Well... yes." He bit his lip, smiled, ran a hand through his hair. "Of- of course. You're the best partner I've ever had."

"Together, then," I decided. "We stick together."

Danse offered me a handshake. "We stick together."

Somehow, it felt like a promise. I shook his hand with a wide smile, the first smile since I had returned from the Institute.

"Besides..." That smile fell as I thought of what was ahead of me. I wasn't the only person whose all hopes had hung on my mission in the Institute.

Danse tensed visibly even through the power armor. "Yes," he said weakly. "We need to meet with Virgil."

"Well, I'm glad to have you, then," I said. "This isn't gonna be an easy conversation."

At the time, I couldn't really tell what it was about Danse that made me feel so comfortable around him so soon after all that traumatic stuff had happened. It only came to me much, much later.

He was the first person who hadn't asked me about the Institute.

oooOOO***OOOooo

I hoped never to set foot in the Glowing Sea again after I was done with this. The place was massively depressing - not to mention, dangerous. The Geiger counter on my suit was going crazy.

Of course, it got better in Virgil's cave. Better enough that we could lose the power armor.

I gently knocked on the wall. The super mutant pointed an assault rifle at me the moment I did that.

"Shit," he said, turning the gun away from me. Danse took his hand off his laser rifle. "I hadn't expected you to come back. Last time I saw you, I was sending you to test a device that would transform your entire body into energy and reassemble it somewhere else."

"I don't think that's something she wants to talk about," Danse said softly. "Regardless... We're only here because we had a deal."

"The serum." Virgil's eyes sparkled with hope and I hated myself for being the person who had to break the news. "Do you have it?"

The silence that fell afterward seemed to drag on forever until, finally, I managed to choke out, "It wasn't there."

Danse clenched his fist on the handle of his laser rifle. Virgil looked as if he didn't understand.

"Wasn't there?" he repeated.

"I looked and looked, but I couldn't find it." My throat was dry. "I'm sorry."

"I don't understand..." Something in his expression changed. "Of course, Volkert! The old man always hated my work! But if he ordered all my research destroyed, he wouldn't have known..." Virgil loaded a heavy punch into the rocky wall. "Damn it! Damn it. Then... Then I will have to live on... like this," he realized aloud.

I really wanted to comfort him somehow, but there was nothing I could do.

"No," Danse said quietly. "The FEV effect is progressive. It'll begin affecting your brain within a few days, if my calculations are right. There's no hope."

"What are you saying? I can't... can't become one of those _things_!" Virgil's eyes were wide as he stared at my friend, terrified and shocked at the same time.

"I'm sorry," the Paladin shook his head. "But I've gone through this already and I _know_ it's not possible. When you said about the cute, I felt hope. I felt hope, which I hadn't allowed myself to feel for years. And now, this hope has been shattered again..."

"You know who's to blame, soldier. It's not my fault."

"No." Danse shook his head. "It isn't. And I'm very sorry."

"It's all on the Institute. Don't be sorry, you're only doing your job."

My friend nodded his head in acklowedgement. "Nora."

I looked at the scientist. "I wish there was something else I could do," I said. "It's not your fault."

"If you can prevent me from becoming a mindless monster, you don't need to do anything else. That's enough." He looked at me. "And if you do make the Institute pay, you'll do the world a favor."

"I, uh..." I hesitated, the hull of my revolver pointed at Virgil's head. "I'm sorry."

He shrugged gloomily.

"Just do it."

I nodded, feeling a lump in my throat. I closed my eyes and fired two quick shots.

At this distance, even I didn't need to aim to hit the target.

oooOOO***OOOooo

"You're silent," Danse noticed.

I didn't answer. I didn't even look at him.

"He chose an honorable death. Virgil, I mean. He knew there was no other way and he embraced it." His voice carried a sad note of solemnity. "I respect that."

I couldn't keep it sustained within me anymore.

"I just keep on thinking about it...!" I expressed. "What if I did the wrong thing? Maybe there _was_ a cure! Maybe he could have-"

I stopped when I felt Danse's hand on my armor-clad shoulder. I looked up at him. The metal helmet showed no sign of emotion, as always, and I couldn't help but wonder what was his expression underneath it.

"There was nothing," he said, "you could have done."

"What if there _was_ , though?"

"Do you have any idea how often I think that? How often I wish I could have saved Cutler? How often do I see him in my dreams..." Danse shuddered. "Screaming my name as the super mutants drag him away... And I'm just standing in place, paralyzed. I want to reach out to him, I want to help, but it's like my limbs are tied. I can't move, and..."

"It's just a dream," I said quickly, but I wasn't entirely sure how to approach this case - because if Cade's diagnosis was right and Danse _did_ have PTSD, this was one of the symptoms.

"It's a dream, of course... I know that. But it does have a basis in reality. I can't help him... Because it's impossible to do so. I want you to learn this before you begin blaming yourself for the deaths of people around you." He clenched his fists. "I don't want you to become like me, God damn it. You _can't_ blame yourself. You can't. You're too good to be run down by the Wasteland like that." He looked at me. "What happened down there?"

"I don't want to talk-"

"You will have to talk about it. It doesn't matter whether you want to or not, it will come up eventually. Right now, there's no one else here and if you tell me, you can be certain I will not tell anyone else. It's important. I don't know what it was to make you feel that way, but you need to share that with someone. Trust me, keeping it in is the worst decision you can do."

I stopped. I was glad I was wearing the power armor and no one could see the way my lips were trembling, the way I had to blink to chase my tears away.

"There was a boy..." I began, but I couldn't get myself to finish. "A synth. And I was... I was led to believe... That it was my son." I let out a breath. "They used me, my emotions. In the name of Science."

A long pause.

"Did you manage to find your son?"

"He died," I replied numbly. "A... A very long time ago."

"And what about the man responsible?"

"I killed him."

I had killed him. I had killed the very person I had been trying so hard to save. It was... It was unsettling, but I was still angry. The Institute had taken so much from me! I had thought that maybe killing Kellogg would be enough to extinguish that flame, to finally get my revenge, but it hadn't. What I had done in the Institute... I had been hoping this time, I would finally be able to sleep at night. That this death would bear some meaning. But the flames inside my soul were still high and hot. I still craved for my revenge. I would kill... I wanted to kill all those bastards! They had done enough to deserve to burn in hell!

"Nora..." Danse whispered. His voice, tinny and distorted as it was, was filled with fear. "You are..."

I didn't say a word. I only looked at the horizon, where the sun was just setting. The previously greenish-grey sky was now basked in a blood red glow.

... _Yeah._

 _You were right, Piper._

 _Vengeance is a flame that burns everyone around. Dangerous and hard to extinguish. Really, really not a good path to walk down_.

"Come on. Let's get moving," I said. "I don't wanna still be here after sunset."

That worked for exactly twenty minutes, when the first signs of an approaching radstorm began to show and we had to find a place to wait it out.

Radiation storms were even more dangerous here, and we both knew it perfectly well. But we also knew that only a complete fool would spend the night out in the Glowing Sea. So despite the very pressing need to leave the irradiated area, we found ourselves camped inside some pre-War cellar. An upside of it was that once we barricaded the trapdoor, there was no other entrance. Aside from two radroaches, the place was void of any life. Even the constant clicking from Danse's Pip-Boy was less frequent. Leaving our power armor would still be very dangerous, but less than outside.

Danse tried setting up a fireplace, but it was a vain effort. Two hundred years of lingering radiation and moisture did their thing to the cellar's contents. He eventually gave up and just set his Pip-Boy as a lamp. The metal of his power armor shone in the green light in an almost magical way. I must have looked the same to him.

Neither of us said a word for a very long time.

"How much RadAway do we have left?" Danse asked eventually.

"I've got eight," I replied without thinking. I was mentally keeping track of our anti-radiation supplies.

I watched with surprise as he left the frame of his armor and started going through the backpack he had placed by the wall.

There was a rumble of thunder outside.

The light of the Pip-Boy flickered, but it never went out.

Danse gave me three Rad-X pills, he himself taking two. He sat down by the wall and stared at the light.

"We could wait it out. Or, we could take some rest while we can. I know you've been comatose for a while, but I haven't slept for four days now. I..." He coughed. "I can't go on anymore. I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't have taken this mission," I scolded. I took pleasure in the fact that he was no longer my superior. "What an idiot. I can't believe you made Paladin."

His eyes widened for just a split second, but then he just looked down. The only audible sound became the rain banging on the roof - that is, the ground.

It was cold and moist, and yet Danse managed to curl up on the old mattress and try to sleep. I couldn't. So I just listened to the rain, and the occasional rumble of thunder, coming from above. It was almost like we were in some different reality. The storm was so close and yet, it couldn't reach us.

I closed my eyes, staring at the floor. Danse was right, I did need to rest. Especially after all that emotional strain. But there was no way I could just lay down and fall asleep. I looked at him, slightly jealous. For someone who was supposed to have trouble sleeping, he looked surprisingly peaceful.

I carefully lay down beside him, trying to fit on the same mattress while trying to seize as much of his body's warmth as I could. He was warmer than me - most people were - but only now, I felt how convenient that was.

Danse would not take kindly to the fact that we slept together, but I couldn't care less what he would think. I was just glad there was someone I could cuddle to as the thunder rolled by.

I only now fully understood how much my friends mattered to me, how much I needed them. Because, as I relished in the closeness of Danse's body, I realized that I felt much better with someone than on my own. Content, I closed my eyes...

oooOOO***OOOooo

"We need to get out of this radiation, _now_!" were the words that woke me up. Danse threw a pack of RadAway at me and I didn't fail to notice he had one injected into his forearm already. He looked kind of funny with the sleeve of his uniform rolled up and his hair a complete mess, another indicator that he had just barely woken up.

But the clicking of the Pip-Boy took all the funniness away as I realized how much of a danger we were putting ourselves in just being there so long.

"You were supposed to stand guard!" He exclaimed, practically jumping inside his suit of armor. " _That_ is why I don't sleep. Because I just can't rely on you, Nora."

The way he said it, so simply and without any spite, actually hurt. Ouch.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly.

"No, it's... It's me, I have no idea what's going on with me lately. You have to forgive me, I'm not... I shouldn't have shouted on you."

That wouldn't have been a problem just a few days ago. It would just be a form of verbal reprimand from a superior officer, something that happens all the time. But he really didn't have a _right_ to shout on me now.

To be honest, our friendship was the only way that was pushing the line of what we considered "appropriate" in regards to each other. Just because we were friends, I could get away with falling asleep on duty (by his side, no less!). Just because we were friends, Danse could get away with calling me out on it. Our friendship really made things simpler, and that was a good thing.

It was also one of the strongest relationships I'd ever had in my life. I would trust this man with my life and the lives of my friends any day. I already had, and he had never let me down. Aside from Piper, Danse was the closest person I had. Sometimes it felt like even more than her.

If it weren't for that friendship, my position in the Brotherhood of Steel would be completely different. Hell, if it weren't for that friendship, I would have been dead by now.

Hell, if it weren't for friendship _overall_ , I would have been lost. Back in the day, I had thought friendships weren't as important as career or romantic relationships. Now I knew just how important having friends was to survival.

The Wasteland is cruel. This world tries to break you. If you don't have the support of your friends, you might end up succumbing to the worst vices of your soul, end up a raider or slaver or madman...

What shook me the most was that I could see myself already going down that path.

I needed my friends. I had killed Kellogg without much thought. I hadn't even considered an option different than his death. I had killed Shaun because I thought it would sate my bloodlust. But it hadn't. It hadn't. In the end, I was becoming less and less of the woman I had once been. I was losing myself.

That's why I needed my friends by me, especially now.

"Don't ever apologize," I said. "Don't say it's your fault, Danse. Thank you for being here." I looked up at that grey cloud-covered Commonwealth sky. "Don't ever leave me."

Danse looked at me, but I couldn't guess what his expression was.

"I'm not planning to," he said.

Hearing it made me a bit calmer.

oooOOO***OOOooo

This was the moment right after I realized just how much the Wasteland had changed me. I needed to be with my friends, probably distance myself from all this fighting... But I also knew I couldn't.

I had things to do that no one else could get done. And damn me if I wasn't going to make this stupid wasteland a better place!

I slowly let out the breath I hadn't realized I had been holding. _This is it._

I pushed the door open and stepped into the room.

"Hey... I'm still alive."

All eyes were on me in a fraction of a second. I slowly closed the door. I put my backpack on the ground and slipped my leather jacket off my shoulders. It was surprisingly _not_ cold in here.

Here, as in the Railroad Headquarters.

"Hi." Glory walked up to me. "I'd high-five you on surviving a trip to the Institute, but your face says nothing good came outta it." She smiled good-heartedly. "Still, it's worth celebrating that you're back. What's your drink of choice?"

I opened my mouth, profoundly surprised. No one had offered me a drink in months.

"...Scotch, neat."

She nodded. "Gotcha. You go update Dez on stuff, I'll try to get _the_ stuff."

"The stuff?"

Glory nodded, dead-serious. _"The_ stuff."

She finger-gunned me and walked away. I ran a hand through my hair, pushing my bangs out of my eyes. Updating Dez on stuff... Yeah, that wouldn't be a fun task to do.

First of all, my trip to the Institute had been an all-out disaster. I hadn't managed to get in touch with the Patriot, which the Railroad had asked of me (not _ordered_ , but _asked_. I was hoping to stress this point). I hadn't managed to get Doctor Li out of there, which the Brotherhood of Steel had ordered me to do. I _had_ managed to record a holotape with some data, but there was no way to tell if that included anything important at all. The information was all encrypted and currently, the Brotherhood's Scribes were working on cracking that code.

Oh, right. Also, the Brotherhood had taken the holotape while I had been out of it.

So when I came to the Railroad, I was basically coming to say I had screwed up big time because I had lost everything there had been to lose and there would never be a second chance because I had successfully managed to sewer any remotely friendly bonds with the Institute by killing their director. Yeah. The last words I had heard down there had been "If you ever come back, we'll kill you", actually.

I said all that stuff to Desdemona. She listened with a stern expression, but she never once interrupted me, even as I fully described the chain of disaster I had led to. In the end, she just stood there in silence, thinking. Judging me.

Deciding whether she should throw me out, I would bet.

"Oh well..." She looked clearly down because of that news. "I can't say I haven't been prepared for this, but it still hurts. All those synths... So close and yet so impossible to reach. You're positive you won't be let back in?"

I deadpanned. "I literally heard someone scream "we'll kill you" when I was leaving."

Desdemona leaned her head back. "That's not the kind of thing you'd want to hear. Huh. Well, then, I suppose we'll just have to go to the next step. We'll have to attack directly."

"No way."

I jumped back, startled by this new voice in our conversation.

"Deacon!" Desdemona exclaimed, moving away from him.

"You were _not_ here a moment ago!" I protested. It was like he had materialized from thin air and my brain was protesting against that. "How the hell do you do that?"

Everything aside, I was impressed.

Deacon clicked his tongue. "Secret." He turned to Dez. "We can't attack the Institute."

"Actually, I'd hate to side with the stalker, but he's right," I said. "I've been down there, I've seen down there. They're more advanced than we would have thought - I'm talking weapons, too. We're outclassed!"

"Not my point," Deacon looked at me weirdly. "The Railroad is outclassed, maybe. Not right now, we can't attack them. Not-"

"Deacon-" Dez tried to interject something, but he just kept on.

"Not with the Brotherhood of Steel right out there. I say-"

"Deacon, please."

"I say we pick our fights one by one."

I clenched my fists. "Objection!"

They looked at me and I had to remind myself I wasn't an attorney anymore... Though maybe right now that's exactly what I needed to be. I had always believed in a peaceful way to end disagreements, here was my chance.

"Objection," I repeated - this time calmly. "You can't put the Brotherhood and the Institute under the same label. First of all, when there's a common enemy, you're supposed to unite."

"That's all a good point, Blue, really is," Deacon said patronizingly, "but who's the common enemy here? Who's closer to my heart now? The Institute who treat synths as slaves or the Brotherhood of Steel who want to exterminate them all? Because you're really getting into philosophy here. Is it better to live a life of enslavement and repressions or to live no life at all? I had always thought you more of that pro-life kind of person, but this is really a heavy-"

"Deacon, for the love of God, just stop." Desdemona hid her face in her hands. "Both of you. Stop arguing. This really is hardly the right time." She let out a breath. "Here's how it is: we're going to rescue as many synths as it's possible. If you think the Brotherhood of Steel attacking the Institute is going to create an opening, that's great. If you think not, there are always other ways to get in than blowing everything up." She looked at me, then at Deacon. "But whatever happens, I want to make one thing clear: this campaign isn't about who's right or wrong. It's about who gets to survive. And I want that number to be as high as possible. Understand me?"

"Yes, ma'am," I said reluctantly.

"Got it," Deacon mumbled.

"Great." She clapped her hands together. "That's great. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to run this by P.A.M. You kids behave."

She walked away. Deacon looked at me, crossed his arms, and narrowed his eyebrows.

"So this has been fun," he said flatly. "Seriously though, great to see you alive. Really thought the machine'd blast you to pieces."

"Yeah." I nodded. "Hey, Deacon... Listen, you don't really think that, do you?"

He looked at me blankly. "What?"

"That it's one fight at a time. That the Brotherhood is as much a danger as the Institute."

"Lemme tell you something." Deacon grabbed a bottle of Nuka-Cola and opened it on the edge of a table. "Anyone of any significance in the Wasteland is hella dangerous. That's just how it rolls; you don't get anywhere in this world unless you can make it yourself. And those who do don't necessarily have to be the good guys. There's no such thing around here."

"You don't mean that," I said.

"The steps to hell are paved with good intentions."

"Virgil's _Aeneid,_ " I said immediately. I knew that quote.

"See, you know your stuff. There's no way to rise to any power in the Wasteland and be a good person. The NCR, the Brotherhood of Steel, the Institute, the Rangers... Sure, I bet they all started out with good intentions, but it doesn't stay that way. You gotta sacrifice some of that good just to survive. I mean, hell, look at the Railroad!" He motioned all around. "You have any idea how many times I've asked Dez to green-light an occasional op to help humans too? That's at least where your Brotherhood is better. But it doesn't justify genocide."

"Deacon..." I wanted to hold his hand, maybe tell him it would be okay, but... It wouldn't. I knew it wouldn't. Then what was the point of saying it...?

"I can't do this right now," he said. "Been great talking to you, Blue." He grabbed his stuff and walked away from me, only to unpack at a table in the corner.

I sighed.

Glory put a hand on my shoulder. "He's a tough one," she said.

She gave me my drink. I thanked her with a nod of my head and took a sip. Damn was that good.

"Look, I know Deacon can be a pain in the ass, but he honestly means well." Glory smiled lightly. "And besides, I'd really take his opinion into account. He... He's just an agent, but... he's been here longer than most." She looked down. "His story ain't nice. Just let him hurt in his way."

"...That's..." I looked at him, at that cocky grin he gave Tinker Tom as he told some story, gesticulating wildly, at that get-along attitude... Always smiling. Always cracking jokes. Always hiding behind those sunglasses.

I remembered the last thing he had told me before I had gone to the Institute. _The things I say? Not really guaranteed to be true._

He wasn't actually...

"I guess that's one way of mourning," Glory whispered.

I agreed half-heartedly.

"...Guess it is."

oooOOO***OOOooo

A week later and Elder Maxson was still just as pissed as he had been before. In good news - Doctor Li had made her way to the Brotherhood's headquarters. In bad news - she wouldn't cooperate.

And who was to convince her if not the woman who had brought her here in the first place?

I was having some serious doubts about the whole thing. I still didn't know what that special project she had worked on was supposed to be. Something big, I'd bet.

No one was telling me anything.

That didn't last long, because not long after I made it to the airport, Maxson called in Ingram and me for a small meeting.

"We don't have time, so I will be straight with you." He looked tired. I didn't know why, but they looked like they hadn't slept in a long time, both of them. That's just how it goes, isn't it? In the end, war never changes. "There's a scientist in Diamond City, Professor Scara. She's no Madison Li, but I've heard she's quite the technology expert in the Commonwealth." Maxson messed up his hair nervously. "I've already sent someone to hire her. At this point, I don't even care about the price. We'll pay."

Sounded pretty desperate to me.

"The bottom line is this: even if Doctor Li doesn't agree to cooperate, we will hopefully have a backup scientist in our ranks. And Paladin... I believe you were the one who got Dr Li to leave the Institute. If you could be so nice as to talk to her again." His tone suggested it would be no nice thing.

"Yes, sir," I whispered.

"We only have two shots. I sent one of my best men to Professor Scara." He looked at me. "I'd like to believe the same can be said about the person I'm sending to Doctor Li."

I nodded my head. "I'll do my best."

"That's what I like to hear. You're dismissed."

"Well," Ingram said with fake enthusiasm once we were out in the commandment deck common room, "looks like it's time for you to get the full picture."

She took me down to the airport, to those empty barracks I had noticed months earlier. Now I was thinking they weren't empty after all.

"This is still classified as top secret," Ingram said as she pushed a button releasing the door to one of the barracks. "Not many know about this, even among the senior staff."

"I'm a Paladin," I protested. "That's, like, one of the highest ranks in-"

"As I said, not many know about this," Ingram repeated with more stress. "You're one of them, so don't complain. Alright?" She sighed. "Sorry. I get cranky when I don't sleep. Anyway... Here goes."

She opened the door. The first impression the large metal parts scattered all over the room, with Scribes working on some of them, made on me wasn't that bad. I kind of knew those shapes... Except, at the same time, I didn't.

"What you see scattered around this room," Ingram exclaimed, "are the remains of Liberty Prime. It was the biggest and most powerful robot at the Brotherhood's disposal. As you can see, it's not in top shape right now."

"Really?" I snorted a half-laugh. "I thought it was _supposed_ to look like this."

Ingram laughed. "But seriously. The reason I'm showing you this is so you know what you're fighting for. Doctor Li was on the original build team for Liberty Prime. Even if Paladin Danse manages to get Professor Scara on our side, she's not going to be nearly as valuable for this project."

Danse? So that's who Maxson had sent? I wasn't so sure about the rightness of that decision. He wasn't so much with the words.

I didn't say anything aloud, just looking at those disassembled parts for a long time. The robot resembled the one from wartime propaganda posters. It had been supposed to be used in the battle of Anchorage... I didn't think it had been, though. And now the Brotherhood of Steel had it? That made sense - they _had_ been built on the ashes of the US military. But the robot... It was massive. Much bigger than any of the Institute's little mock humans. It could... It could...

"This could help us win the war," I understood. "It would be that edge against the Institute that would help us win."

Ingram nodded, content. "Now you're getting it. See why Li is so important?"

"Totally."

oooOOO***OOOooo

"Okay, what's the crap about you not wanting to work on the robot?" I slammed by hand down on the desk Doctor Li was sitting by. She rolled back on her chair, scared of this interruption.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You promised you'd come back and work for the Brotherhood again. What happened?" I asked coldly.

"You forgot to mention I would be working on Liberty Prime. It's the one project I swore not to touch again." She stood up and looked me in the eyes. "I said I would not work on a weapon. I meant it." She looked away with a scowl. "Because of you, I threw away my career in the Institute and pretty much jeopardized any career in the Brotherhood of Steel. _Thank you_."

"Then come work for the Railroad," I groaned. My eyes widened. "I didn't just say that. The Minutemen could use someone like you, too... Damn it."

Doctor Li frowned. "You still haven't decided, have you?"

I narrowed my brows. "I have no idea what you're talking about." I clenched my fists. Stupid! I couldn't believe that woman. She didn't know a thing about me. "Why won't you work on the robot?"

"You know why? I was just about fine until Elder Owyn Lyons died. The Brotherhood of Steel's been downhill since then and I'm sorry, but I can't trust them with a weapon like that anymore."

"Look, can you..." I knew I was gambling on this, but she had already shown she thought me reasonable. "Can you maybe trust _me_?" I swallowed. "I can swear this technology will be used to protect people. Isn't that what science should be used for? Saving lives? Please, Doctor, we need you."

She shook her head. "You know, if anyone else wearing a Brotherhood of Steel uniform said that to me, I'd laugh in their face. This is only on the benefit of the doubt. I'm giving it to you - and it's not something I give away often."

I nodded. "Thank you, Doctor."

I went straight to the mess hall afterwards. I deserved an ice-cold drink, preferably anything but water. I found Star Paladin Grimes and my very own Paladin Danse there, so I sat down to eat lunch with them.

Danse, I was soon to learn, had just gotten back from Diamond City and hadn't had the chance to report the results of his mission yet. It kind of looked like he wasn't in a hurry to do that, so I was guessing he hadn't had much progress.

I almost felt bad for proposing to go with him.

"Hey." I elbowed him as we walked to the bridge. Danse stopped to look at me, full of surprise. "You alright, cowboy?"

"Cowboy?" he repeated skeptically.

"Expression. What I mean is, are you feeling... well, _well_?"

He looked straight ahead. "It doesn't matter how I feel. It's irrelevant to our task." He sighed. "Let's go. I would that this was over with."

I answered with a short nod of my head. "Yessir."

In a way, I understood him. I also wanted to be over with. But I had already gotten myself into the whole mess and there was no way out in sight.

Danse held the door to the bridge for me to walk through. "Ladies first."

Elder Maxson was, if I could properly read his emotions (and he did hide them well), pleased to see us.

"Status report, Paladin?" he asked, motioning at me to speak.

I cleared my throat.

"Doctor Li is at the airport at the moment, sir, I've left her under Proctor Ingram's care. She's willing to cooperate with the Brotherhood and she's pretty much disillusioned with the Institute at the moment."

Maxson nodded at me to go on.

"If I may add - this is just a suggestion, from my side - but I think letting her also work on something of her own choosing would strengthen her belief in the rightness of her decision."

"Very well, Paladin. I'll do that." The Elder then looked at Danse. "What about you?"

"Well, I haven't been as successful with my side of the mission as Nora has, sir."

"Didn't you manage to find Professor Scara?"

"It's complicated, sir. I went to her residence in Diamond City, but she wasn't there. Her coworker mentioned that she had been gone for a few days." Danse blushed a bit. "Granted, if it had been Nora instead of me, we would probably have more information by now. I have to admit I'm... I can't be very persuasive."

"Don't patronize yourself, Paladin - you're still valuable for the Brotherhood. Though you could have put more effort into this assignment." Maxson sighed, looking at the two of us, clearly tired. "Oh well. At least _one_ of you is a capable officer."

I gritted my teeth. He knew full well how much that simple comment must have hurt Danse, and yet he still said it. I liked being complimented, but _not_ in that way.

What was there to do? We waited for Maxson to dismiss us and then, we left the bridge. As if an unspoken agreement had passed between us, we both headed to the commandment deck common room. It was empty now, save for an officer reading an issue of _Nikola Tesla and You_ in the corner.

"Look, he doesn't know what he's talking about," I said.

Danse raised those big sad brown eyes of his at me.

"Really?" he asked flatly. "I don't have much care for the Elder's opinion right now." Okay, that _was_ a surprise. "It's not what's important now. I... recently found out one of my friends had died."

"Piper?!" I exclaimed. For a brief moment, I completely disregarded the idea that he might know people outside our group.

"Her name was Gina," he whispered. "She was... She was fourteen years old. Before you came along - nay, before I was dispatched to the Commonwealth - she was the squire under my mentorship. She wanted to be a Star Paladin one day. It was her dream."

"Did she have any family?" I asked uncertainly. I didn't exactly know how to act.

"You still don't know anything about the Brotherhood, do you?" Danse clenched his hand into a fist. "I was family."

oooOOO***OOOooo

If I were to be honest, I would say being an officer sucks. It was much harder than being a regular soldier and it was so for one simple reason: I was getting lonely.

Maybe sleeping in the casern with a dozen other women wasn't the perfect living situation, but hell, we made it work. I managed to make friends with some of those girls. When I had got promoted to Knight-Captain, there had been too much going on for me to bother what my new officeral rank implied, practically speaking.

Now, as a Paladin, I finally knew. I got my very own living quarters. The room was just about big enough to fit a locker, a bed, and a desk with a chair, but it was my own space.

Normally, I'd be thrilled, but in the last seven months, I had almost never slept alone. It scared me. Night brought feral ghouls, deathclaws, mirelurks, and yao guai. Night was when you couldn't clearly see your enemy. Night was the season of death. Sleep was a necessity that you often could not afford.

Of course, I quickly got into a habit of avoiding my little bedroom.

I would roam the hallways of the commandment deck and try to talk to anyone who would listen - which, incidentally, was most often Paladin Brandis or Proctor Ingram. I even agreed to help the massively irritating Proctor Quinlan with sorting some technical documentation as not to feel so lonely in the evenings. The days crawled desperately slowly and the Brotherhood's research team still did not manage to decode the data from the Institute. I had suggested to Ingram that we could use the Railroad's help again, but she only made me promise not to say that to anyone else. The Railroad were the enemy and I shouldn't be fraternizing with the enemy. Ironically, I did that pretty much once or twice a week.

One of those days, Quinlan asked me to deliver a stack of documents to Elder Maxson's office. I could hear voices from inside even before I entered. The door had been left ajar anyway, so all I had to do was just slightly push it.

I walked into the room at what was probably the worst possible moment.

"-can't keep allowing _children_ to die!" Danse was exclaiming and lively gesticulating. It was clear this was an argument - and a rather heated one at that.

"Ignorant idiot!" Maxson growled. "If we can't bear with the losses, how can we save humanity?!"

"Not by leading it into slaughter! You cannot-"

"I can do whatever the hell I want!"

I put a hand over my mouth when he hit my friend across the face, hard enough to make him stagger backwards.

Danse put a hand to his cheek.

Involuntarily, I gasped.

They both looked at me and that was the moment I realized that maybe I had seen too much.

"Did she...?" Danse didn't even have to finish.

"She can't have..." Maxson whispered. "I'll talk to her..."

"I'll do it," the Paladin volunteered quietly.

That was when I _did_ run away. I dropped the stack of documents and ran for dear life, not even thinking why I was running away or from whom. I slid down the ladder to the main deck. The worst part of it was that there wasn't anywhere I could run to on the Prydwen! People were everywhere!

Danse pinned me to a wall in some corridor, earning murmurs of surprise from the three Knights nearby. Of course he would have caught up with me so quickly.

"Nora..." He grabbed my forearm. "What you saw there... It wasn't like that. It wasn't what you think it was."

I spun around so that I was facing him. He loosened the grip on my arm, but he didn't let go.

"What _was_ it, then?" I asked.

"Nothing. You didn't see anything."

I put a hand to his reddened cheek. It was hot.

"I'm quite sure I _did_ see something," I said dryly. "Hitting someone in the face. It's amazing how the world doesn't change in some aspects."

"I deserved-"

"No, you didn't. _No one_ deserves that kind of treatment. It's depriving you of your humanity."

"Maxson had a reason," he began again.

"Do you realize this exactly what abused people say?"

He didn't answer. He did let me go, though.

I gave a heavy sigh and grabbed his chin to get a better look at the place where Maxson had hit him.

"You'll have to get this at least disinfected as soon as you can," I said in a tired voice. I let go of him. "And I don't know how you're gonna explain this to Cade, but I'm not helping you."

"I can't go to medical with this. It's not even an emergency."

"Fine, I'll do it." I rolled my eyes. "You have one seriously roundabout way of asking for help, you know?"

"I wasn't asking for help."

"Yeah, right. Come on. My room or your?"

"...I have a first aid kit in my locker," he said quietly.

I don't know what I had been expecting instead, but Danse's room looked exactly like mine, to the letter. There was more stuff lying around, but all that stuff was arranged thousandfold more neatly than my stuff.

I grabbed the bottle of disinfectant, several cotton pads, and a plaster and looked at Danse, who was sitting on his frustratingly clean bed with a miserable expression.

"I have no idea why you even let him."

Danse gave me a heavy look. "If you're going to comment, get out."

I rolled my eyes.

"Alright, come here," I said as I sat on the bed next to him.

I turned his face to the light. The cut wasn't bad, but it looked ugly.

"You're an idiot, Paladin."

He looked at the ground. "You can say that again."

I uncapped the disinfectant.

"This is probably gonna sting a bit..." I caught the look he was giving me. "Alright. You're not a kid. I know. Sorry."

I rubbed the alcohol on his cheek, then washed it with water. No blood, at least... But it still wasn't nice to get hit by someone wearing combat leather gloves.

I wiped the leftover disinfectant with a cotton pad.

Danse touched his face.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

"Whatever I can do to save Elder Maxson's reputation," I answered. "Because let's be grownups, that's _exactly_ what this is about. Isn't it?"

"Nothing happened," Danse repeated. "You didn't see anything."

"I'm not an idiot, Paladin."

He breathed out. "You're a good person, Nora. Thank you." He stood up from the bed. "But you should go now."

oooOOO***OOOooo

It had been three days since that incident. I had tried very hard not to think about it - which meant that every second of work was filled with questions. How long had this been going on? Was it a singled out incident? Was this new? Had Danse been abused before? Had other soldiers been? Was Maxson really such a good leader? Taegan had said he had never been physically violent with anyone... Had I been wrong?

I put away the pen when I realized my thoughts were overwhelming what I had been writing about. It was the continuation of the story I had given Piper - the story I had thought would end when I found Shaun but now I felt would go on for much longer. I had thought writing down my memories would be therapeutic in some way. It did help put everything in perspective. I managed to distance myself from it.

I ran a hand through my hair. I should probably go to sleep anyway by then. I flicked off my nightlight and lay down to sleep.

It was cold. I tended not to sleep in my underwear but in a worn Nuka-Cola tee and a pair of sweatpants, both scavenged from a store in Concord, but it was still cold.

I remembered how nice it had been to sleep between Piper and Cait, how warm. How comforting it had been to cuddle to Danse or Hancock when they weren't aware. Hell, even Dogmeat was nice and warm...

No. I just couldn't sleep like that!

I pulled my uniform on, though didn't fasten the zipper, and stormed out of the room. I needed people, I couldn't just be alone like that.

Except I doubted I could sneak my way to the barracks without making a ruckus, so I would have to settle for someplace on the commandment deck. Maybe if I went to Ingram, she would let me crash in her room...

My line of thought was interrupted when I reached the mess hall. My stomach growled and I cursed under my breath. _Who's in for a midnight snack?_ I glanced at my watch. Half past midnight, actually.

Technically, it wasn't allowed to take food outside the rations we were allowed, but it wasn't like anyone would know.

I opened the fridge and looked at the contents. _I knew Maxson kept some spirits!_

" _Stealing_ , Paladin?" An amused voice came from behind my back. I panicked, shutting the fridge as quickly as possible and facing the intruder.

"Elder Maxson!" I squeaked, standing to attention. "I didn't expect you here, sir!"

 _Pathetic, Nora. Great job._

Maxson crossed his arms with an amused smirk, his eyes fixed on my chest.

I blushed, deeply embarrassed, and quickly zipped up my jumpsuit.

"I take it you can't sleep, either." But his tone was kinder now, nothing like he had been a few days earlier.

He reached into the minifridge and took out a bottle.

He offered me a glass.

"Bourbon," he explained. "250 years old, back from the Capital Wasteland."

After a moment's hesitation, I let him pour me a drink. Why the hell not.

He raised a glass.

"My most promising field officer. Here's to you, Nora."

"I thought Paladin Danse-"

"Of course you thought Paladin Danse," he grinned, satisfied. I looked down, not sure how to understand that. "I'm sorry, then." Maxson smiled. "Here's to my _second_ most promising field officer."

I laughed nervously. "You know, I used to live in times when it would be illegal for you to do this."

"Better, more civilized times." Maxson sighed fondly as he set the bottle down on the table. "And you're not taking all into account."

"I'm... not?" I wasn't sure I understood.

"My 21st birthday was a week ago," he explained, pushing his chair away from the table and leaning back. He noticed my expression and chuckled. "Don't flatter yourself, Paladin. You weren't _supposed_ to know."

"No one mentioned it," I noticed.

"Because I have only circa five people on the Prydwen who have that information."

I was betting Danse was one of those people. That thought made me feel uncomfortable for some reason.

I had been avoiding Maxson for the last three days. Had I been wrong to do so? He seemed completely alright now. That had been just a fit of anger back then... I shouldn't judge, I had killed my son in a fit like that.

"I'm sorry," I said.

Maxson looked at me, a glimmer of amusement flickering in his blue eyes. "What for?"

"I thought you were a douche who didn't care about anything but his personal gain and ideology."

He smirked. "That's fair."

Not the reaction I had been expecting.

"But as I'm apologizing, you probably figured out... I changed my mind. I think you're a good man, in the end. I think most of us try to be good."

"Paladin?"

"Yes?"

"It's not unusual for me to have insomniac periods, but you for one should be getting your rest. Can you do that for me?"

I rolled my eyes. He was just a kid. Just a kid, in charge of an army and trying to be an adult.

"Only if you do the same, _sir_."

Maxson smiled sadly. "Of course," he said.

I wasn't intent on going back to the solitude of my room. I would crash at Ingram's or... Someplace else.

I entered the common room and found yet another surprise.

"Welcome to the upper class, where nobody can sleep at night," I muttered ironically. Loudly, I said "What up, Paladin? Nightmares?"

Danse glanced at me.

"You should be asleep," he said quietly.

"Yeah, so should you. You can't order me around anymore."

I took the place beside him.

"I just had the most charming conversation with Elder Maxson," I said. _Charming?_ _Actually... yeah, he was._ I blushed. "What's that?" I nodded at the bottle in his hand.

"Sunset Sarsaparilla. Cooled, pre-war." Danse offered me a swig of the drink. It's not like I had been _expecting_ him to drink alcohol on duty, but I was still slightly let down. Maybe it was the bourbon Maxson had offered me - the comparison was meager.

"Thanks. Anyhow, I talked with Maxson... He's so different outside all that protocol." Just like Danse himself, for that matter. "It's strange, but... I really like him."

"And you've only reached that conclusion now?" Danse raised an eyebrow. I didn't fail to notice the lines under his eyes. He hadn't been sleeping again, had he? Ugh, would that man ever learn?! "Nora, why aren't you asleep?"

"I need a roommate. This loneliness is driving me crazy," I explained, looking at him intently. He seemed alright. He was friends with me. He was a Paladin, so he had his own room. He was good. "Hey, how about-"

"No."

 **Maximum level.**


	30. Blind Betrayal, Part 1

**Chapter Twenty-Seven  
** **Blind Betrayal, Part 1**

* * *

"Thanks for letting me sleep with you," I said, yawning. "I really appreciate it."

Star Paladin Evelyn shrugged. "No problem, Nora. No problem at all. I guess it takes everyone a while to adjust to their new quarters." She smiled. "You're free to stay with me whenever you want. And, um... Listen, sometime when you have some time, come and see me. We could hang out together, go shoot up some ferals or whatever your fancy. It's a helluva lot harder to find good friends here than in the Capital Wasteland and... I'm glad I know you."

"I got time _now_ ," I said, glancing at my watch. "I heard there's a shooting range down there at the airport."

"Sure is." Evelyn grabbed her laser rifle and ushered me out of the room. "Come on, then. Paladin Gunny is gonna be there with the recruits before long and they'll take up all the space."

I threw my jacket over myself. "Can't have that."

We managed to get to the shooting range just barely in time before the recruits made it there. I knew some of the officers had some place in Cambridge where they shot at feral ghouls, but neither Evelyn nor I were that keen on leaving the base. (Besides, I _couldn't_ leave right now.) We ended up having a rather pleasant morning workout, making what could be considered small talk by Wasteland standards.

"Have you heard? Knight Rhys proposed to Scribe Haylen."

I was so shocked that I pulled the trigger. The recoil almost put me off-balance.

"Isn't that a bit too soon?" I asked.

"You really haven't lived in the Wasteland, have you? Love is something to cherish. There isn't time for long courtship when your lives could end any day. If you find someone you love and who loves you back, why wait?"

"I suppose that makes sense..." I wasn't completely convinced. "It's just that I never thought that's the way society would go."

Star Paladin Evelyn lowered her weapon, looking at me curiously. "You really _are_ from an another time. That's still hard to believe."

"Is it?" I laughed. "Try putting yourself in my position."

 _Great deal, Nora. Laughing at this situation now? ...God, I really am dead inside._

I was dead inside.

My life was pretty much going through the motions now. The only highlights since I returned from the Institute had been Virgil's death, the argument between Danse and Maxson, and my heartfelt talk with the latter. Other than that, I usually felt no emotions at all.

It was official now: I had no family left. Everyone was dead. I had thought that maybe I was lucky to have survived the holocaust that had exterminated nearly everyone alive, but now I wasn't so sure. Those who had died at least never got to see what the word had turned into... Maybe, in a twisted way, they were the lucky ones.

I didn't have any living family, I didn't have a boyfriend, all my friends were all happy and in a relationship... And I had majorly fucked up everything while I had been in the Institute.

Things would only go downhill from now on.

I excused myself to Evelyn and went outside. The morning air was chilly, but it was still April - days were slowly becoming warm again. Not for me with my stupid body temperature, of course.

With shaking hands, I managed to produce a small flame and light a cigarette. I needed to think. I needed to think over all those things I hadn't had the time to think over yet.

The danger was around us and I hadn't even warned anyone yet. True, I hadn't had a moment to breathe freely in that last week, but it didn't excuse my passive approach. I should have taken action earlier. I should have intervened.

How much had I learned at the Institute? They were everywhere. They had their synths everywhere.

First, most scary bit of information - Mayor McDonough was a synth. That deemed Diamond City completely unsafe, and that wasn't even all the trouble it meant. The Institute had been controlling the political scene of the Commonwealth for some time now, and they were in charge of the town's security forces.

First and foremost there were two people I had to tell this before I undertook any action: Piper—obviously—and the person who had to know more than anyone else - John Hancock. I doubt anyone would like to hear their family member had been replaced by a synth double, but he deserved to know. Besides, we were friends. He'd do the same for me.

The second scariest piece of Institute information was that there was a spy in the Brotherhood of Steel. The Brotherhood, which I had thought the least likely structure to be infiltrated by synths... It could be anyone. I hated thinking of it that way, but everyone was a suspect. Out of my friends in the Brotherhood, only three people had my complete trust - Danse, Ingram, and Haylen. But should I share what I had learned with them? Sure, Ingram could probably try to do something about it, but she had enough on her plate as it was. I didn't want Danse or Ingram to worry needlessly about something they could not affect... It was bad enough that I was.

I had to meet with Elder Maxson.

Maxson, who was not on my "definitely not an Institute spy" list—however short it was—and lately hadn't even been on my "I can trust this person" list. But he was still the leader of the Brotherhood and it there was a spy in our midst, so God help me, but he had to know.

And even if not, there was still another thing I needed to discuss with him.

oooOOO***OOOooo

I knocked on the door to Elder Maxson's office and waited to be let in.

"You wanted to see me?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yes, sir. I wanted to ask for permission to take a few days' leave. I have got business in Diamond City that I need to attend to as quickly as possible."

Maxson raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?" He leaned his head back. "I can't let you go, Paladin. You're a valuable asset right now. I need you right there working on Liberty Prime with Proctor Ingram. In other words - permission denied."

"But—" I bit my tongue before I could say something I'd later regret. I needed to warn Diamond City! With Shaun dead, who could know what was going on there? They were all in danger!

"I'm sorry, Paladin, but I say things as they are. We're in a war on two fronts. Unless you can somehow magically breakthrough in the Railroad case, you stay and work on a way to fight the Institute - and that's Liberty Prime."

I needed to warn Diamond City! My friends were there! Piper, MacCready, Nat, Nick, Ellie... But I couldn't betray the Railroad. I couldn't... I couldn't!

I hung my head. "Yes, sir," I said quietly. "I'll report to Proctor Ingram."

Elder Maxson nodded his head, content. "That's more like it. You're dismissed, Paladin."

I saluted. "Sir."

I left the room feeling terrible. Of course, he had a point. Now that I had made a move against the Institute, we were at war. And I was to blame, no more, no less. I should at least learn to take responsibility for my actions... So far I've only endangered pretty much everyone in the Commonwealth. Time to start paying my dues.

Kicking the Institute in their egghead asses would be a good start.

"Airport, please," I said to the pilot as I jumped into a vertibird.

 _This is_ , I thought, _one of the greatest design flaws of the Prydwen. The only way to access it is via vertibird. Of course, that could also be useful under attack._

Once on the ground, I thanked the pilot for the ride and headed towards the tower where Proctor Ingram and Doctor Li were overseeing the assembly of Liberty Prime. I had to admit, it had been going faster since Li had joined the team.

Then again...

"Psst! Hey, Blue!"

I froze. Slowly, I looked around, but I couldn't see anyone.

"Here!" The voice was coming from an empty warehouse. I looked around to see if I wasn't being followed, ran inside, and quickly closed the door behind me.

"...Deacon?" I asked, squinting my eyes to see something in the almost complete darkness.

Deacon turned on the lamp feature of his Pip-Boy and I could see that it was, in fact, him.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" I exclaimed in a whisper. "No, no. Better yet: how did you get here? There are guards everywhere!"

"Professional secret," he said with an indifferent expression. "What's more important is, why are _you_ still here? What's up?"

"A lot," I said, dead serious. Quickly, I filled him in on everything I had been thinking about, the synths and everything, and how Maxson wouldn't let me leave unless I began talking about the Railroad.

"I think he's suspecting something," I said. "Maybe I should lie low for a while, just not to show my involvement and..."

"And _what_?" Deacon raised an eyebrow. "There's nothing you can change, Blue. Sooner or later, you'll have to choose. It's like being on two sides of a war. You think you can play double agent, but in the end, you gotta decide which side you _really_ support."

"Great." I crossed my arms. "That's just what I need: another problem. Listen, do you think there's any chance the Railroad can look into those synths? The Brotherhood's Scribes are still trying to decrypt the data, but I know for sure that Magnolia from Goodneighbor and Mayor McDonough from Diamond City are synths. Not liking the idea." I blushed. "No offense."

"None taken. Well, I could look into it. Maybe they're not active spies. In Goodneighbor, most folks are outcasts. That includes synths. As to McDonough... Well, that's kinda a messy matter. Guess that journalist was right all along." Deacon looked up. "There's also always the possibility they don't even know."

"How can a synth not know it's a synth?" I tilted my head, confused.

"Most synths who run away from the Institute decide to have their memory wiped. Some can't handle the trauma. Some see that it will help them blend in later on. It's a personal decision, really."

"What did _you_ decide?" I asked curiously.

Deacon looked away. "It's... personal."

There was a brief moment of silence. I felt awkward. Shouldn't have asked.

He cleared his throat. "Either way, I'll try to see if there's anyone we haven't been keeping tabs on. Hopefully, I'll manage to find something."

"Great, thanks. And Deacon?" I looked at him as seriously as I could.

"That's me."

"Don't _ever_ sneak into a Brotherhood of Steel base again."

oooOOO***OOOooo

"So how's the giant Institute-smashing robot building going along?" I asked.

Proctor Ingram looked at me over her shoulder. "Oh, you're here. Good." She nodded at me. "Hoped Danse would be with you, but I can catch him later. Come on here."

I jumped up onto the platform from which she and Doctor Li were overseeing the assembly of Liberty Prime. The robot had gotten so big it didn't fit inside a building anymore, but I still hadn't decided if that was a good thing.

The two of them were by some complicated control panel. I noticed there was a good outlook on the Scribes who were putting the robot together from that spot.

"So it's moving along?" I guessed.

"Yeah," Proctor Ingram agreed. "Going good."

"It would be going better if your men actually did what I ask of them," Doctor Li scoffed. She turned her attention back to the control panel.

"Well, isn't she a treat," I laughed nervously. I massaged my nape. "Sorry about that."

"Hell, I can handle it," Ingram assured me. "And Madison Li is worth every pain in the ass. It really has been going faster."

"Has it?" I couldn't help but be skeptical. The Institute could attack at any minute. They probably wouldn't, but they could.

Ingram laughed at my expression. "Skepticism. I like it. Nah, it really is good. The best part is we've managed to start up the programming that runs the robot. Arms and head are attached to the torso, we're working on one of the legs... Actually, it's hard to explain to his CPU why it can't move. We've been feeding him power from the Prydwen's engines, but it's just a temporary fixup. It's gonna need power actuators for all limbs, and, worst of all, an extremely rare part, a beryllium agitator."

"How in the hell are we ever gonna find _that_?" I asked.

"Believe me, all my strength goes into not asking this question," Ingram groaned. "I'm tired! Let's just focus on the possible stuff for the time being. I know you're no technician, but I think I could make use of your team now."

"My team?" I wasn't aware I had a team.

"You and Paladin Danse. You do work together, don't you?"

"Oh, so you meant _Danse's_ team," I said dryly. "Should've said so from the beginning."

She let that comment pass.

"Either way, as much as Prime is getting better, he'll never be combat ready without the most important part of his arsenal: his bombs."

"Bombs," I repeated. "Sure thing. That probably makes sense... What—What kind of bombs, exactly?"

"Right," Ingram nodded. "Liberty Prime Mark I used high-yield C23 atomic bombs - we could find those in the Capital Wasteland. They were... well, to put it lightly, dangerous."

"No shit," I said. "You equipped this robot with _nukes_? Whose dumbass idea was that?"

"Elder Lyons'."

"Oh," I said. I blushed slightly. "Well, if he thought that was the right thing to do." I cleared my throat awkwardly. "So these bombs... I'm gonna be your errand girl from now on, aren't I?"

"You guessed it," she smirked. "Those C23 nukes are nowhere in the Commonwealth, but Proctor Quinlan managed to track down pre-War records of a supply of Mark 28 missiles stocked in a sentinel site not that far from here."

"You're saying it like it's gonna be a hard one." I wrinkled my nose. "What's the catch?"

"The catch?" Ingram sighed. "The site is in the Glowing Sea."

"Of course," I snarled. "And I promised myself I wouldn't go back to that hellhole ever again in my life. Ugh! This stupid Wasteland hates me!" I looked around, but all that scientific equipment looked expensive. "Got anything I can kick?"

Ingram nodded at a metal bucket. "Go wild."

oooOOO***OOOooo

I hated the Brotherhood of Steel!

I really did. They made me go to the Glowing Sea in search of some stupid bombs when Diamond City was in actual, real trouble! They needed me down there! Right now my only hope was Deacon, who was... not the most reliable person I knew. Even out of the folks from the Railroad, he was one of the biggest question marks. I didn't know if I could trust him.

The whole situation was shitty. People at the Institute were pissed at me, and the Minutemen, and the Brotherhood, and pretty much the whole Commonwealth.

Most of the people in the Commonwealth wasn't even aware of that. I mean sure, everyone was all scared of the Institute, but no one really knew just how grave the danger was at the moment.

People from the Brotherhood were convinced that their tactical know-how, aerial superiority and a bigass robot would be enough to tango with the Institute and come out on top, when in fact it was the stupidest idea ever - aerial superiority in a war against an underground colony? We were gonna lose this war!

The Minutemen were the second biggest target for the Institute now and again, I had to way of warning Preston or Ronnie about the upcoming fight. Because a fight was coming, and I had a very bad feeling that it was coming to the Minutemen. And they were even worse prepared than the Brotherhood!

Everything was going as bad as it could, and I was trying very, very hard to convince myself that it wasn't my fault... Not entirely my fault, at least?

Oh, who was I trying to kid? It was all my fault. Why had I fired that shot?! I would regret it for the rest of my life, I knew. Of course, I had had many reasons - personal, political, ideological... But now, in the fallout of my actions, all those reasons seemed empty.

I had caused this.

I had caused this war.

All of this. All the deaths, all the suffering... This was my fault. I was—

"Are you alright?"

Of course, there was also Danse. I had no idea how the man did it, but his timing was always uncanny.

"Yeah, I'm—" I said quickly, "I'm fine. Why do you ask?" I hadn't spoken a word since we had left the airport. I didn't think there had been anything alarming about the way I had been acting, but Danse... Well. Sometimes he read me better than I did myself.

"I think that's the longest you've ever gone without speaking," he noticed.

"Well, you'd better get used to it," I said quietly. "I'm done being all touchy-feely."

This world didn't have a place for long talks. Not right now, at least. Right now, I needed to be focused and particular, even if that came to me with some difficulty. That's what the world was expecting from me at the moment.

And I wasn't going to disappoint again.

So when we came across a bunch of feral ghouls, my gun was the first to be fired. And when we stopped for the night, I took the harder, second watch. I thought a lot about Nate at that time, too. I didn't know why. I had thought leaving the past behind me would make it all easier on me, but... the past eventually always catches up with you. You can never truly leave it behind.

I wondered if Nate would approve of what Shaun had grown up to be. I wondered if, had he survived instead of me, everyone would still be alive. Would Nate be okay with my way of coping with his death? Would he want me to move on, look for somebody to love in this barren wasteland? Or would he have liked it if I had mourned for longer? In the end, I was left wondering.

I wondered, most of all, what he would think of me. Nate had been a soldier, he had known what it was like. But I didn't think he would ever approve of all the things I had done along the line. He had always been the honorable, upstanding one. Noble to a fault - in that way, Danse kind of reminded me of Nate. Nate who had always been ready to spill his own blood for the things he believed in, who had been ready to die fighting for the country he loved.

I drew little lines in the ground with a stick I'd found. _No point wondering... Everyone is dead anyway._

I sighed.

Honestly, I doubted Nate would have even _recognized_ me after all those months. I had changed physically too, not just on the inside. Hell, if the Nora who had left Vault 111 last year saw me, she would probably run away or prepare for being attacked.

Yeah, I'd changed. I'd changed a lot. But had it been for the better? I didn't even know.

I glanced at the rising sun, took a look at my watch, and decided it was high time we broke camp. I went to wake Danse up.

The rest of the journey towards the dreaded Glowing Sea was rather uneventful, save for a pack of feral dogs which tried to attack us. We were supposed to stop at Listening Post Echo to resupply - Ingram's smart idea of having us 'pack light' for the journey.

When we did reach the site, I was surprised and impressed to see it had been changed into a real military camp. Sandbag fortifications and two actual tents were a nice difference from before. There were definitely more people dispatched to this site at the moment, too. And among them, a most welcome surprise.

"Haylen!" I cried out in joy. I hadn't had a chance to talk to her since I'd been promoted to Paladin.

I didn't hesitate for long before jumping out of my suit of power armor and running forward to give her a hug. She laughed, which was the first laugh I had heard in three days, and the most beautiful sound I could hope for right now.

"Hi there, Nora," she said. "Good to see you in one piece after all that's happened. I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to talk, but I've been swamped too."

"Yeah, right," I said. "I heard you got engaged. Oh! Congratulations, by the way!"

She blushed a bit. She tucked a strand of her red hair behind her ear. "Thanks, Nora. I really am lucky. I thought nothing could ever happen between us until you showed me how it really was."

"No ring, though?" I noticed she wasn't wearing one.

"Well... No one really wears jewelry in the Wasteland, so we did badge instead. An engagement badge is as much a symbol of love as an engagement ring." She showed me the heart-shaped pin among other markings on her uniform.

I almost gawked. That was adorable and I was still single. "I have a hard time imagining Rhys giving something like this to _anyone_ ," I laughed.

"Haylen?" Danse walked up to us, busy with strapping a bandolier to his uniform. He looked up only once he was done with that. "I didn't expect you here. But that's good news - this outpost should be left in capable hands."

Haylen looked at the ground. Her cheeks were almost red. "Thank you, sir."

"So if I wanted to report to someone at this outpost, it would be you," I guessed. Haylen nodded. "Amazing. I'm reporting in, then."

She ushered us to one of the tents. "Right on time, too. There's a strong northern wind. It should blow away at least some of the lingering fog above the Glowing Sea. You two will have it much easier if you set out now."

The tent was obviously the armory. Not many weapons, but enough ammo for a much larger squad.

"Take whatever you need," Haylen said. "But try to be quick."

I found two laser pistols (which had become my weapon combo of choice in the last few weeks) and a bandolier adapted to fusion cells. I also took a taser, just in case. With the corner of my eye, I could see Danse sizing up an assault rifle against a semi-automatic laser rifle. He ended up taking both.

While we armed ourselves, Haylen went over our mission details again. I already knew most of it, but I tried to listen anyway.

"Your only goal is to secure the stash. Nothing more. It's a dangerous enough task already, so you'll just have to wait until Proctor Taegan's team arrives and they can take over. Ideally, one of you should report here and the other should stay and guard the bombs, but if it's impossible, you should both wait there. The main idea is that you don't let them go off."

That didn't paint an appealing picture.

"Now, those Mark 28s are a lot smaller than the nukes they used in the Capital Wasteland, but it doesn't make them any less dangerous. You're dealing with nuclear weaponry, so _be_ _careful_. You," she pointed at me. "Don't touch the bombs. And you," she pointed at Danse. "Make sure she doesn't touch the bombs."

"Hey! Why do you assume—" I gave it up with a wave of my hand. "Actually, never mind. It does sound like something I would do."

"Once you've found and secured the site, turn on this radio beacon. It'll transmit your location's coordinates on military RF waves."

I took the transmitter she was giving me and attached it to my belt. It wasn't very likely I'd lose it, but I still preferred to be safe than sorry.

Following Haylen's advice, we set off nearly immediately, after only a short latrine break (I really needed to). The Glowing Sea was, as always, a ridiculously inhospitable environment to find ourselves in. I had thought the smaller amount of fumes would be a change for the better, but it was not. Because now, we could see just how bad it was.

I now had no doubt that was where the atom bomb had hit. Even if our Geiger counters weren't going crazy, I would know everything was irradiated. The soil was cracked and broken, the empty basins that once had probably held water were now dried out. There were noxious fumes coming from some holes in the ground, all of them sick and grey. I was sure I wouldn't have survived a minute if I stood here without any protection.

"The sentinel site we're looking for," I said. "Do you know where it even is?"

Danse didn't answer.

"Do you know where to look?"

Again, no response.

"Do you even know how it looks like?" I tried again, to no avail.

This mission was _stupid_. Stupid! What the hell were they expecting we would even-It was clearly impossible! I gritted my teeth in frustration and set my sight on the road beneath my feet.

 _If I didn't know better, I'd say Elder Maxson had sent us there only to get rid of us._

But I did know better and I knew that if we didn't secure that stockpile—if _I_ didn't secure that stockpile—we would all have hell to pay. Again, because of me.

So if there was anyone who could—or rather, should—make things right, it was me. The only problem was that I had no idea how to do it. I somehow had to get the Brotherhood and the Minutemen working together. They wouldn't get anywhere otherwise. If I managed to do that, the Railroad wasn't far off. We needed to stand together if we were to fight the Institute.

But still—I had no idea how to even begin doing this. For the first time in a while, I openly admitted defeat. I had no idea what to do now.

I could start with helping the Brotherhood of Steel build that robot.

"Nora?" Danse nudged me, which made me snap back to reality.

"Y—Yeah?"

"You spaced out again," he said.

"Oh." I looked down. "Sorry."

"I was asking if you think this might be it," he explained patiently. I didn't deserve that patience! I deserved people to be angry at me for not listening, I deserved to be berated and yelled at! I didn't deserve patience and understanding. I didn't.

"If what?" I asked numbly.

"If that could be the sentinel site," he explained. There was a large building not far from us, but I couldn't tell much about it other than the obvious fact that its purpose was militaristic.

"Check on your Pip-Boy," I said. "It should put up map tags for pre-War locations."

"Maybe so, but I left it on the Prydwen," Danse mumbled.

"Oh. Then we'll just have to go and take a look, shall we?"

oooOOO***OOOooo

On the grey concrete wall, with huge white letters, was written _Sentinel Site Prescott_. So I guessed we wouldn't have to wonder anymore.

The facility was huge - fitting for a place where they manufactured nuclear weapons _—_ or did they just store them? I wasn't sure about that. Not that it mattered. What mattered was that we'd found the place. Now we only needed to secure the bombs and not explode in the process.

Going inside was no problem. The old rusty lock gave in after just a shove and the door opened, granting us view into what had once been the pride of the United States Army. Once, it had probably been filled with soldiers, stationed there for weapon testing. Now, it was completely empty of any intelligent life.

There were a few feral ghouls in military uniforms on this level. We took care of them, no problem. We soon found more, of course, but that wasn't the nature of the predicament we were in. Its nature lay in the frustratingly bizarre outlay of the facility. It didn't take long for us to get lost _—_ and when we did, we got lost _completely._

Soon, I was pacing nervously around the same hallway I was sure we had passed half an hour earlier while Danse was trying to make sense of an emergency escape routes plan for the building which hung on the wall. The hallway was the same as every other in the building and the plan was distorted with age and grime. All in all, the outlook on our immediate future wasn't so good.

After what felt like an eternity of searching, we finally managed to wind up in front of a large blast door. There was nothing else in the room, aside from a few terminals - two of them still, miraculously, operational.

"This one opens the door," I noticed upon seeing the cables that connected the computer to the door control system. "Could you take a look at it?"

Danse complied without a word. He pushed the chair away and began typing on the keyboard. Meanwhile, I took a look at the other terminal. There was a flashing light, signaling an unread message. I clicked on it, and it turned out it was an audio file. The date of recording was 23 October 2077.

Danse looked up from the terminal.

"I think I can hack it," he said. "I'm not sure how long it'll take, though."

"Try, then," I said indifferently. "We've come this far already, so we can't back down."

I played the recording, hoping to at least have something to listen to while Danse worked on getting that door open.

 _"_ _This is Captain Mitch Dunleavy, 132nd Engineering Corps at Sentinel Site Prescott. All lines of communication are down and we're tracking multiple inbounds on radar. If this is a drill, we need confirmation immediately. We've got a lot of nervous soldiers over here, command. Report in, command! Some of the inbounds are getting awfully close—wait a minute... the inbounds are splitting into multiple targets—Oh hell. This is it, isn't it? May God have mercy on our souls—"_

I hung my head. The ghouls we had killed... Those had been the soldiers from this base.

"Nora?" Danse asked softly.

I gripped the armrests of the chair so tightly that it bent. "I'm okay," I said through gritted teeth.

I really wasn't.

Danse nodded his head at the computer. "I think I can get it to work now."

"Then do it."

He input something into the system and the massive gate began to open—agonizingly slowly—only to stop after creating just a small opening. The Geiger counter installed in my power armor began clicking again.

"It won't open any wider," Danse said, stepping away from the terminal. "But for now, I don't see any need."

"Righty-o," I muttered. "So here we go."

As I stepped into the huge hall, I could only think about the disaster that had happened two hundred years earlier.

Hiroshima. Nagasaki. New York. Boston. Philadelphia. Beijing. Hong-Kong. Washington. San Francisco.

A single atom bomb has the power to take millions of lives in a matter of minutes. It has the destructive power of a volcano eruption, it is able to wipe out entire cities from the surface of the earth. Just one single bomb.

In this storeroom, there were at least a thousand.

Large shelves, almost reaching the ceiling, took up most of the space in the room. And there were nukes just sitting on every one of them. There was an _unimaginably_ large number of them atop every single shelf. How much power could these even hold?

Of course, they were smaller than actual atom bombs—much smaller.

But that didn't seem to matter.

"It's oddly unsettling..." Danse's voice carried a note of fear, something I rarely heard from him. "But I feel painfully insignificant."

I knew what he meant. I felt similar feelings, even if I didn't vocalize them.

I took the beacon, but I hesitated. Turning this thing on would mean committing to this decision. It would mean agreeing to go down this path.

"What if it's not the right thing to do?" I asked quietly. "I mean, war... It's not all fun. Especially with this kind of weaponry."

"What do you mean?" Danse turned his attention away from the bombs and to me.

I looked at the radio in my hands. Such a small thing. "I mean..." I could feel my eyes watering. "I've already seen one mushroom cloud too many in my life. It's not something I wish even upon my enemies."

Danse looked at me, his expression concealed by the helmet of his power armor. The silence was complete.

"...Alright," he said simply.

I stared at him blankly. "What?"

"That's alright," he repeated. "If that's what you say, then I trust you. The fact remains that you know first-hand how atomic weaponry is. I don't have that experience, therefore I have no right to tell you what's right or wrong in this case." He took a step towards me. "Besides, I have learned to trust your judgement. I believe the decision you'll make is the right one."

I shut my eyes. No, that trust was completely misplaced. He didn't have any reason to put his trust in me, to believe my decision would be right! All my decisions so far had brought us to this point, to the brink of another nuclear war! I was the last person who should make this decision.

I shouldn't make this decision.

"Thank you," I whispered. I felt tears building up in my eyes when I understood why it was so simple now. This wasn't supposed to be my decision. I only carried it out.

I turned the beacon on.

A steady humming sound filled the thick silence between us. For a moment, it was the only sound I could hear.

"Why?" I managed to choke out eventually. "W—Why? How could you trust me with this? I mean... Why did you even let me decide?"

Danse exhaled tiredly. "There's a war coming," he said. "We may very well not survive it, therefore we should make the best of the word. And... I believe you're the way to make this world better." He paused. "I swear I'll stand by you as you change the world for the better. Even if I will die doing it. I'm aware you may not care quite that much, but your life means more to me than death."

I opened my mouth. It had been right there in front of me all along... How come I hadn't realized?

"The thing is, Danse, I... I _do_ care. I care about you too much to let anything happen, you know?"

"I..." He stood motionless, staring at me. "Nora, that's—I mean," he stammered, "I... I didn't know you felt that strongly about our—Well, about... _us._ " He couldn't find the right words. "I'm sorry if I seem... confused... I just—You've certainly given me something to think about."

"And... _Talk_ about, maybe?" I felt that, somehow, I had overstepped some boundary of what was appropriate between two officers. Suddenly it hit me that for months, our relationship hadn't been strictly professional, as it should have. That I was _way_ too close with the man who was supposed to be only my mentor.

"It's... I just—" He put a hand to his head. "I'm sorry, I have to... I have to take a while with this."

I was very deeply regretting that I couldn't see his face now, that he couldn't see mine, that we couldn't be having this conversation eye-to-eye.

"What do—" My throat tightened. "What now?"

"One of us has to stay and keep this stockpile secured until reinforcements arrive while the other should go on ahead and go back to Listening Post Echo," Danse said in a monotone. I knew more than well enough that his mind was on something else entirely. "Do you want to go or stay?"

Stupid question.

"I'll go," I said quickly. "I'll go." I nodded my head. "I'm going now. I'll see you around."

I practically ran towards the elevator. I really did need to get out of there, take a moment to think... What had just happened? Why was I feeling all light and happy when I should be devastated by the current situation?!

...Why?

Leaving the sentinel site was almost just as hard as entering, and I got lost in that maze of catwalks and hallways a couple of times. It took my mind off other things, thankfully.

Not for long. My thoughts returned like an annoying insect, buzzing around my head as they raised more and more questions. Why was I feeling happy? I had been so miserable... Why the hell would I be happy now?!

 _Great. Now even_ I _don't understand myself._

I had no right to be happy now, did I...? I had no family left alive. The guy I liked ended up with my best friend (and I was seriously convinced they were engaged or married already, considering how short it had taken for Haylen and Rhys). Basically, my life was a big failure.

Or... was it?

I liked MacCready. From the moment we first met, when he had been the only person who actually cared how I felt, I had felt drawn to him. I hadn't been subtle about it, I was pretty sure he'd known all along. I had been in a place where I needed that kind of closeness. I had taken it for granted that sooner or later, I'd find a man worth spending the rest of my life with. I had been convinced I had already found him... All the while, he had been head-over-heels in love with Piper.

That was good.

I didn't desire that kind of closeness anymore. Not in the same way. They were happy together and I knew that things worked out the right way.

It was so clear now.

Because I _did_ like MacCready. But there was someone I liked even more.

Love? It was such a big word... Was I really, after all I'd been through, after everything I'd _done_ , was I still capable of loving another person? I highly doubted it. It was a bad thing that I was feeling that way. There was no way for this to end well.

And of all the loves in this world, I had to choose the most impossible one. Danse would _never_ let personal feelings affect a soldier's duties, be it himself or anyone else. If I told him, he would only do something bad, like transfer me to another squad so that I didn't get distracted. If I was lucky, he would only reprimand me and move on with life. But there was no way he would ever reciprocate my feelings. He was too honorable for that.

I had to. I just had to fall in love with a damn _soldier_ again, didn't I?!

In the end, I hadn't changed at all, had I?

I barely registered when I left the Glowing Sea. Nothing had tried to eat me so far, maybe that's why I hadn't been paying attention to the road. For the first time in weeks, I had the peace and quiet to focus on my feelings and properly recognise them.

It was... scary. I didn't want to fall in love. Not really. I did want stability and a supportive relationship, but just when I had been close to reaching the conclusion that friendship could just as well offer all that... Here comes love again.

Damn it.

I got to Listening Post Echo eventually. I could see no vertibirds in the sky, so that meant I was ahead of time. Danse was right, sending one of us ahead was the sensible decision.

"We picked up the signal," Haylen said quickly as soon as I approached, "so I can assume it's done? You found it?"

I took off my helmet, glad to breathe fresh air again.

"The bombs are secured," I said. "Paladin Danse stayed behind to guard them, just like you wanted."

"That's a relief. We've sent for a vertibird with Scribes from the weaponry division - they should get here in a few hours."

"So my part is over?" I asked hopefully. "There's nothing left for me to do about this? I suppose I could go and report this to Ingram—Proctor Ingram, I mean."

"She already knows," Haylen assured me. "But if you really want, you might as well have the honor of informing the Elder about this."

The vertibirds— _three_ of them—arrived not much later. Northern wind. It would probably make the return flight longer, but that was no problem of mine. I would probably end up going the whole way on foot...

It soon turned out I _wouldn't_.

"Paladin!" one of the soldiers ran up to me. He quickly saluted. "I'm glad to have caught you, ma'am! I have direct orders from the Elder to inform you to meet with him."

"Oh," I said. I hadn't been expecting this. "Did he say what this was regarding?"

"No, ma'am. Only that it's urgent."

I nodded. "Well, then, we shouldn't keep him waiting, should we?" I dismissed the Scribe, letting him walk away. I needed a vertibird, but those three would be sent to the Glowing Sea...

I went to the common area of the camp. "Haylen!" I called out as soon as I saw my friend's trademark red hair.

"Nora? You're back soon," she noticed. "You're not leaving?"

"There's been a change of plans," I said quickly. "Right now, I need a vertibird. Can you get me one?"

"You outrank me," she noticed. "Get one yourself."

"I really don't want to get into that now. Will you please help me?" I made my best puppy eyes at her, but to no avail - the eyes of a killer don't provoke compassion anymore.

Haylen sighed. "I've been summoned by the Elder. You can come with me; I'm leaving in the morning."

I smiled. "Thanks," I said.

 _In_ _the morning._ That was nice - I hadn't had a good night's rest since... Well, it had been at least two weeks. I deserved that rest.

oooOOO***OOOooo

I looked out the window at the quickly moving cityscape below the helicopter. Boston didn't look any better in sunlight than it did in darkness - it was still a rundown wasteland. Though getting an aerial point of view was helpful in seeing the city the way it really was, it didn't chase away the gloominess the view provoked. I had known this city in its heyday and seeing it like this hurt me in a way I didn't even fully understand. I had thought that with time, it would become easier for me to face the reality of the Wasteland, but it wasn't. Some wounds are—Well, not even time can heal them.

"Feeling nostalgic?" Haylen guessed.

I looked in her direction without saying a word. No, I wasn't 'feeling nostalgic'. I was thinking.

"Say... Was it weird when you and Rhys first started dating?" I asked hesitantly, trying not to let my nervousness show. "I mean that you work together. Wasn't it... awkward?"

Haylen's cheeks turned a weak red color. "It... wasn't. I was afraid it would, but it wasn't." She let out a small, contented sigh. "I was afraid it wouldn't work, but in the end—"

"Approaching the airport, ma'am," the pilot informed us.

"—it's just worth it. The risk." She smiled. "I mean, every time you tell a person you love them, you expose yourself and put yourself at risk. There's so much to lose."

I held onto my seat as we approached the landing ground. The sound of the vertibird's rotors became so loud now that I didn't even hear Haylen's words anymore. I patiently waited until the motor came to a stop, safe on the ground, and only then did I jump out. My power armor absorbed all the shock from the fall, surprisingly.

Haylen walked up to me, coughing - probably because of the dust the landing vertibird had caused.

"I just wanted to say... There's so much to lose," she said quietly. She wasn't looking at me, instead focused on something far in the distance. "But there's also a lot to gain. Much more than you could possibly lose."

"You're happy," I said numbly. Piper and MacCready were happy. Nick and Ellie were happy.

Haylen laughed. "Yes, love will do that to you."

Love. The recipe for a happy life, apparently. Worth taking a risk, apparently. Would I take that risk?

Would I dare?

I felt amusement rising up inside of me and slowly materializing in the form of a wide smile. _But I've lost everything._ I had lost my home, my friends, my family - even my world. So all in all, when it came down to it...

I didn't have anything left to lose.

And suddenly, I knew exactly what I was going to do. I was going to drop off my power armor and check in with Elder Maxson - and do it all as quickly as possible. Just finally close this case and have some peace at last.

And after it was done, I would talk to Danse. Everything was going to finally be alright.

I was returning to report to Maxson almost happily. I had something to look forward to, and that gave me hope. Hope, which was something the Wasteland needed desperately. Me and Danse... We would work things out. I didn't care what would be the outcome, as long as we stayed honest with each other. That's what our relationship had always been based on: the simple belief that we can completely trust one another. Danse had never lied to me. I wouldn't do it, either.

I hadn't felt so carefree in a very, very long time. I even smiled to the soldiers I passed on my way to the helicopter landing platform. I took a vertibird to the Prydwen, dropped off my power armor at the repair station (which, without Ingram's presence, was in an even more terrifying mess than usually), and headed straight to the bridge.

Just as I entered the room, Maxson was shouting at Lancer-Captain Kells.

"—localized this instant! This is an order!"

"We're trying, sir. We're not issuing our soldiers with any tracking implants. Aside from localizing power armor, there's no way to..."

"I don't care _how_ , just get it done!"

"Sir?" I wasn't sure what I was doing, but when Maxson noticed me, I felt that _I was screwed_. He was enraged.

"You've got a lot of nerve showing your face here," he growled.

"What have I done?" I asked, slightly afraid. Not taking a step back required nearly all my willpower.

"Don't play stupid with me! Not when I'm so near getting rid of you without a trial." I noticed that his hand was on the handle of his pistol. What?! I hadn't done anything, had I? "Among the data you recovered from the Institute, there was a list of all synths in the Commonwealth - both runaways and their spies."

"I'm aware of that," I replied, confused at this change of subject. "I recovered the list myself."

"And still you continue to deny having any part in it?"

"In what?" I demanded. They were accusing me of betrayal, even after I had killed _my own son_ for their cause?! On what basis?

"Sir..." Kells said quietly. "I think she really doesn't know."

"What is it?" I asked. They were no longer angry, now they looked at me with something more like guilt? Pity? "What is it?!"

"I had Proctor Quinlan decode the data you recovered." Maxson took in a deep breath. His tone was calm, as if he were trying to soften the blow. I didn't know what was coming, but I instinctively knew that I wanted to cover myself from it. I also knew that I couldn't.

And, with one simple sentence, just like that, my entire world collapsed.

"Paladin Danse is a perfect match for one of the synths on that list."

 **Footnote: Maximum level.**


	31. Blind Betrayal, Part 2

**Chapter Twenty-Seven  
** **Blind Betrayal, Part 2**

* * *

I stared ahead, the gears of my mind turning at what was probably the lowest possible speed. I felt like there was something I was missing: I understood the words that Maxon was saying, but they didn't want to make sense.

"I... don't understand."

"Do you really? Because you didn't make much effort to cover the closeness of your relationship... I find it hard to believe he didn't confide in you before we went AWOL."

"...Danse went missing?" I asked, turning to Kells. "You were trying to track _him_?"

"Went missing is hardly an appropriate expression to describe treason and desertion, Paladin. I don't care about your personal feelings at the moment - we can't afford that."

"Alright, so how do I clear him?"

Kells only looked at me. "...What?"

"Well you're accusing Danse of being a synth spy, right?" I laughed nervously. "So... how do I clear his name? What do I do to take him back?"

"Kells." The order was short, but the captain understood and quickly walked out of the room.

"Look, Paladin," Maxson began seriously. "I'm not blind to the closeness of your relationship with Danse. I let that pass because it didn't affect your duties - it seemed to me your effectiveness was only raised when you worked together. So believe me when I say that I know what you're feeling right now."

 _Betrayal._

"Betrayal," he said quietly. "We... I can't say that I haven't been afraid that something like this might happen - but the truth is, I wasn't prepared. Not such an exemplary officer."

"That's not—" _That is not possible._

"I didn't want to believe either. But I've checked and double checked - the DNA matches 97%, the psychological profile fits... Somehow, the Institute _has_ managed to infiltrate the Brotherhood. This situation doesn't leave much to say. There's no place for mistakes now. Which leaves me facing the most difficult order I've ever given."

No...

"I'm ordering you to hunt down Danse—"

 _No._

"—and execute him."

"No," I blurted out and immediately covered my mouth when I realized I had said it. "I..." I clenched my fist. "I can't."

"You're the only one I can trust with this anymore," Maxson said quietly. "Paladin Hudson is in the Glowing Sea and..." He drifted off.

 _Danse._ That was what he had wanted to say.

"Where is he?" I asked quietly. "I'll..." I felt torn apart. Going against that order would be going against everything Danse had taught me. Carrying out that order would be going against Danse himself.

I breathed out.

"Tell me what I need to know, sir."

oooOOO***OOOooo

Apparently, Proctor Quinlan had been looking into this case personally, at least until I could take over it. The synth they called M7-97 had been filed as MIA in the Institute's database, and after comparing DNA samples, it became clear that he and Paladin Danse were, indeed, one and the same.

I didn't even know how to feel. In a funny way, I felt alienated from my body, like I was only watching the whole situation from afar.

Just ten minutes ago, I had been the happiest person in the world. Now, my world had changed forever.

Proctor Quinlan reported the whole case to me as briefly as dryly as possible. (He had never liked Danse, true, but to so easily turn on one of their own...? I hadn't thought the Brotherhood so cold.) He then proceeded to refer me to Scribe Haylen, who would help me begin my search. I had to get combat ready as quickly as possible and I wasn't even given a chance to fully understand what was happening.

Now it was becoming clear that I was not only the huntsman. I was also supposed to be the executioner.

Haylen didn't say a word to me as she led me somewhere we could—as she had put it—discuss it in private. I couldn't tell what her emotions were exactly, but she seemed tense. If she had been crying, she hid it well, but the way she kept furrowing her brows told me her feelings were strong.

Not as strong as mine. So while she continued refusing to speak, I couldn't bear it anymore.

"Haylen..." I realised my voice was breaking. "What—This isn't... real. Right?"

She didn't answer.

"Tell me there was a mistake." I felt tears in my eyes, and for once I was glad that the power armor helmet covered my face. I swallowed the tears, but my despair could still be heard in my voice. " _Tell_ me," I demanded. My vision was blurred. I couldn't dry my eyes with my hand, so I had to settle for blinking.

"I was there, Nora. I wish it was a mistake."

"No." I slammed my fist into the wall. It didn't even hurt. _"No!"_

"Nora—"

"Do you have a fucking clue what I'm going through right now?!"

I didn't - I _hadn't_. But the truth was, everyone else in the Commonwealth did. Someone you love replaced by a synth - that was daily bread for those people, and I only now was beginning to realize how terrible that was.

I felt tears streaming down my cheeks and didn't even care when Haylen hugged me. I couldn't feel it. Power armor wasn't mean for being hugged—something Danse'd told me a while back.

Oh, God.

Danse.

"Nora?" Haylen looked up at me. Her eyes were shining. "Tell me you don't actually believe what Maxson is saying. You can't." Her lips trembled with barely controlled grief. "Tell me you won't do it!"

I took off my helmet and put it on a nearby table.

"What are you talking about?" I whispered. I needed to sit down. "You just said that it's true. How can I not believe it?"

She clenched her fists. "Not the science part. The law part. Look, I—I've served with Danse for years now and in all this time, he's saved my life more times than I can count. I've known him for years and I _know_ that under all that protocol and dreariness is a decent man."

"So what?" I said quietly. "You think you know someone. But—"

"But it's not enough to sentence to death! Maxson must be mad if he's going to so easily cross out one of the Brotherhood senior staff! Look, Nora, I don't _care_ if Danse is a man or a synth or even something else entirely - what I do know is that this isn't something you can just solve by killing. What has he done wrong, ever?! Ordering to execute a soldier without even having his court-martialled first is murder, no less. Cold-blooded murder." She bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling. "Nora, do you really want to be the murderer in this story?"

I clenched my fists. For some reason I couldn't begin to comprehend, I felt a wave of rage wash through my very being, touching me to the core. I hadn't been this angry for a long time... Why now?

"I'm not a murderer," I said, enunciating each word carefully.

"Nora, I have no idea what this really is. I don't know what's happening or why, but I do know that there are two sides to every story. Before you make a decision, will you _please_ listen to the other side? I pray to God or... whoever is watching over this world... I pray with all of my soul that this is all a misunderstanding." Haylen opened her mouth, tears now clear in her eyes, but she didn't speak for a moment, her throat tightening from the sobbing. "Promise me you'll hear him out."

I looked at her, touched to my very core. She wasn't just saying this - she was putting _everything_ on the line for this man. She believed in him so much that she was openly going against direct orders, even knowing what it could cost her. Aiding a fugitive, incitement to disobey orders, contempt of state, insulting high instances... She was willing to do all that for his sake. And that behavior from her only added fuel to my rage.

This was—I should be the one doing that!

I realised why I was so angry.

Nate had been killed. Shaun, kidnapped and brainwashed. My family, lost forever. And now, Danse...? No. Oh no. I would _not_ let that happen again.

"I _will_ hear him out," I said to Haylen. I looked down at her and felt like I should add something more. "I promise."

"Before the Prydwen showed up, Danse had me identify a fallback point if we ever lost the police station. It was Listening Post Bravo, an old pre-war US Military outpost on the northern frontier of the Commonwealth. It's isolated, and we're the only ones that knew about it, so there's a good chance that's where he's headed." She paused, as if unsure. "Just... be careful. There's no telling what state of mind he's in right now, or if he trusts any of us at all." She entered some data into my Pip-Boy. "I've marked the position on your map." Haylen hesitated, still holding my arm even though she was done with my Pip-Boy. She looked me in the eyes. "Please, don't kill him unless it's necessary. Only if the worst really is true."

 _Even_ then - I added mentally. I wouldn't be able to kill Danse. Deep inside, I knew that. After what had happened to Shaun... I knew I wouldn't be able to do that again.

"I'll find out the truth," I whispered. "I have to."

oooOOO***OOOooo

They said I should proceed with the information I got from Scribe Haylen and check out the locations she suggested. But "they" also said a lot of other things.

I had my own ways of investigating missing people.

I had done it before. Many times, when I worked with Valentine Detective Agency on various cases. I knew how to begin tracking down a missing person.

"But..."

I pushed the door to Danse's quarters and stood in front of the empty room, motionless, not ready to walk inside.

"...I never thought I'd end up tracking _you."_

The Pip-Boy lay on the night table, exactly where Danse said he'd left it. He'd taken much better care of it than I ever had - it looked the same as the day I'd given it to him.

I touched the cold metal surface of the device. I felt static electricity on my fingertips.

 _"It's our... anniversary. Six months_ — _since we first met, I mean. I... You have no idea how important it was, everything you've done for me. So... I guess this is my way of saying thank you."_

I shut my eyes. Memories. They're never good. Never happy. They're only reminders of our mistakes.

For whoever is haunted by happy memories?

Another thing I hadn't taken notice of last time was this patched-up patchwork dog bed in the feet of the bed. And inside, yet another painful reminder of how badly-placed my trust had been all this time.

 _"And you don't feel bad about leaving Dogmeat behind?"_

 _"Oh, come on. It's practically your dog by now."_

So much regret. I hadn't thought I could hate someone so much and yet love them so badly at the same time. I hated Danse for not telling me who he really was and I hated myself for falling for a man I didn't even know.

"Hey there, Dogmeat." I bit my lip, but eventually handed him the Pip-Boy. "Get the scent, boy. Find master." My voice broke. "Can you take me to where he is?"

Dogmeat barked happily and wagged his tail, assuming we were going to get Danse. The stupid animal didn't even know what was going on.

"Lead the way, boy," I said quietly.

oooOOO***OOOooo

Everyone lives alone.

I realized this truth about the world at a very young age, when I first got into a fight and no one stood up for me. I got called a troubled kid because I attacked her with my nails while she only pulled on my hair. What did it matter? It hurt me all the same. In my opinion, my actions were justified.

But no one saw it my way - not the teacher who separated us, not my parents, and definitely not the school psychologist. That was when I first felt that I was alone.

I was seven years old.

Then, when I lost my father. Everyone was mourning, of course. Kate, my mum, Nate... In the end, every one of us was mourning their own loss. And while we mourned together, each of us dealt with grief on their own.

Afterward, the loneliness became omnipresent. Everyone died, I was left alone... I did find friends in the Commonwealth, but none of them would ever truly understand what I had been through.

We aren't always lonely. But through our lives, we're always alone. In the end, you're on your own. When you come into this world, you have no one beside you. You cry. Because you're scared, and because you are alone.

Whenever you experience something, whatever it is, there's no one else in the whole world who feels exactly like you do. And there never will be. Your emotions are yours and yours alone, and you will never be able to explain them to another person.

And, inevitably, when you leave this world... You leave it alone. There's no one else who can take that journey with you. Everyone dies alone.

I was alone when I entered this new world, unprepared for its cruelty. I was alone when I learned that everyone was dead and that there was no hope for going back.

I was alone when I faced Kellogg in the basement of Fort Hagen, just two weeks out of the Vault. I was alone when I decided to take on an Institute Courser and I was alone when I had to face the consequences of that decision. I was alone in the Institute, with the burden of truth heavy upon me.

But in all those moments when I was alone, I never felt as lonely as I did on that terrible, terrible, sunny April day, the day when my world changed forever.

I looked around. The sun was shining and I could swear, there were birds chirping. Why was this day so fucking beautiful?! The world had no right to be so happy when everything was falling down!

I would have to kill who could possibly be the love of my life. On a day like this, it should be pouring rain. It should be grey, dead, and cold. Instead, everything was painfully calm.

I took out the Pip-Boy and hesitantly plugged the earphones in. It's been a long time since I'd used it, and it didn't feel mine anymore. It wasn't.

I picked Diamond City Radio from the list it offered me. Hopefully, maybe some music or a podcast would make me a little less miserable.

A song. Okay.

 _"Why do the birds go on singing?_  
 _Why do the stars glow above?_  
 _Don't they know_  
 _It's the end of the world?_  
 _It ended when I lost your love..."_

Yeah, radio. Fuck you too.

I turned it off.

Which, inconveniently, left me alone with my thoughts. And my thoughts weren't exactly in the best state at the moment.

Immediately, they drifted to Danse. _I should have known._ Why hadn't I taken notice? I had spent months with him, I should have known. But there was... There was just no way. No matter how long I thought about it, it made no sense to me.

No, that had to be a misunderstanding. Danse hated synths with his whole heart. He was a true officer and the most dedicated soldier I had met in the Brotherhood. He couldn't be a spy... A _synth_. He couldn't.

And even if he was, what did it matter? It was still the same Brotherhood soldier I had rescued from the feral ghouls. The same Paladin Danse who had sponsored me into the army and vouched for me to his superiors, and taught me ways of the Brotherhood. The same Danse who had become my friend, my best friend, in this terrible, cold world. The same man I had fallen in love with.

It didn't matter if he was a human or a machine or... _Deacon_ was a synth, right?! And we got along just fine! It would be alright. He... He probably wasn't a synth anyway. But if he was... For how long had he been one? Had the Danse I had met at the Cambridge Police Station been the original or the synth? _Was_ there even an original?! What if they had killed him and replaced with a copy somewhere along the way? Or differently, what if the person I thought was the real Danse, the person I got so close to, wasn't the real Danse? Had I even known him? Damn, the question I should be asking myself was ' _did_ I really know him?'

I didn't know.

I didn't know.

"I don't know." I sat down on a bench. It squeaked in protest at the weight of my power armor. "I just don't know what I'm doing!"

There was no answer, I was alone. Because the man who was supposed to be there by my side was the reason for my problems. And there was no one else.

 _You can't go through life alone._

If only I had given the Institute holotape to the Minutemen instead of the Brotherhood. Then, none of this would even be happening. If only I had given it to the Railroad. They wanted to help synths, right? But now... If only Shaun had given me a choice. If only I hadn't killed him.

If only, if only... My whole life seemed like one big regret now.

Of course, it helped to shift some of that blame onto Shaun or the Institute, but it was still mostly my fault. Not Danse, of course. That alone was something I couldn't take responsibility for. But everything else...

I hadn't made a single good decision since the War. I thought that maybe at least having friends had been a good choice, but now I could finally see the truth. Getting close to someone only gets you hurt.

Me falling in love with the traitor could serve as a perfect example for that.

I ended up spending the night on my own, which was more depressing than anything. I found a long-abandoned public restroom building, which was, surprisingly enough, the most decent place for a camp I'd found recently. I had to scuttle my power armor, but I used its weight to barricade the door. As I lay down on my sleeping bag, Dogmeat crawled close to me and whimpered until I put an arm around him. His fur was so nice and soft... I entangled my fingers in it.

Dogmeat licked my hand.

I looked at him, my eyes watering. How come could this animal make me feel comforted and yet so disturbed at the same time? How come I was feeling regret when I had done nothing wrong to him?

I fell asleep hugging him close to my chest.

oooOOO***OOOooo

I woke up to a strange warm sensation on my face. When I opened my eyes, I saw that it was Dogmeat licking me. I smiled lightly.

"Hey there, Dogmeat," I said. I ruffled the fur on his neck. "I had the most bizarre dream..." Slowly, I looked around. It took me a moment to understand where I was and why I was alone, but when I did, the carefree smile fell from my face.

"It wasn't a dream," I whispered. "...Of course."

I gave Dogmeat some radstag jerky and ate a few slices of chewy bread myself. Not much in terms of breakfast, but I was feeling so nervous and uneasy that I was afraid I'd throw up even that. Besides, I had to get moving.

I knew Elder Maxson wasn't stupid. He trusted me, sure, but even that trust had its limits. And, for one, he was surprisingly good at judging people. He would know that Haylen had betrayed and he would send someone else after me. He probably had already. I had to hurry if I wanted to save Danse's life...

I stopped dead in my tracks. Suddenly, this new question came, unprompted, into my head. Did I want to save his life?

I couldn't believe I hadn't asked myself that before.

But that question was uncomfortable. First, I had to prove that this was all some kind of misunderstanding, then I could wonder. I would be able to—

Dogmeat barked urgently.

I ran up to where he was standing a few meters ahead. Dogmeat had had some trouble tracking Kellogg, but this trail was fresh. I knew he would pick up the scent sooner rather than later.

"Good job, boy," I said as I scratched him behind the ear. "Come on. We can't be far now."

We weren't far.

The location Danse had marked as Listening Post B on his Pip-Boy's map was very close when I noticed something much more alarming about this place than any military security. There was a Deathclaw nest nearby. I could only see one and it was asleep, but it was enough to give my heart a jump. I somehow managed to sneak by, but I was afraid anything louder might wake it.

Dogmeat kept close to me, instinctively sensing the Deathclaw as something dangerous. The dog wasn't stupid, he knew when to stick together.

Some humans could learn from him.

I, in turn, turned my attention to the small bunker hidden between the hills here and the Deathclaw's territory. I looked at it and couldn't believe what I was looking at.

So _this_ was Listening Post Bravo? But... I'd been there before. With Danse. It had been one of the places we had been searching for power converters for Liberty Prime. He'd said... He had said this bunker would make a good fallback point, should the need for one arise. Did that mean that... He had wanted me to know all along? Had he shown me the place he had only shown to his closest team members, in hopes that if anything happened, I would... I would what?

I stopped at the entrance, right in the doorframe. I touched it in silence.

"What _were_ you hoping I would do?" I whispered. In all honesty, I had no idea what he was expecting from me. I had no idea what I was going to do. I felt numb, numb to the world, like everything around me wasn't really happening, like it was just a movie. It didn't seem real. I didn't know what I was going to do.

"Stay here, boy," I ordered Dogmeat while I myself went inside the bunker. It was a small building - just a desk and a chair, a dusty American flag in the corner. Nowhere to hide.

There was also an elevator, but it was dead. Whatever was in the basement would have to stay untouched.

If I was going only on Haylen's words, I would say she'd made a mistake, but Dogmeat had led me here too. So it meant that...

I turned on the terminal that was connected to the elevator control system and saw exactly what I'd thought I'd see.

...someone'd recently hacked this computer.

I breathed out. _Danse_. I quickly used the terminal to restore power to the elevator. Someone had turned it off before to make it look as if it were abandoned.

The elevator that soon rode up to the surface squeaked dangerously when I got in with my whole suit of power armor, but it seemed solid enough.

There was only one level under the ground. I pressed the button and was soon lowered to the basement. With a ding, the doors opened.

The first thing I saw was, ironically enough, a broken Protectron robot lying on the ground. But it had been destroyed recently, there were still sparks here and there. Obviously, someone'd been there recently.

The next thing I saw was a table. And next to it, a cabinet. This was obviously US Army property, not anything new. There were documents, sure enough, but I was pretty sure I could also see a gun and some ammo.

But then I forgot about all of that. The robot was uninteresting all of a sudden, the cabinet was unimportant. None of it mattered anymore.

Because then, I saw Danse.

To me, he looked sadder than any other person ever could. His dark hair was in a complete disarray, the collar of his uniform was unfastened and the bomber jacket he usually wore was gone. He was leaning on the wall, his back bent as if he was having trouble standing up on his own. But his face was the worst. The expression on that face was one of complete despair, something I had never thought I'd see on him. And... Oh God.

He had been crying.

But the most alarming thing was the revolver in his hand. Loaded and ready to shoot.

I felt my eyes widen. I threw myself at him, pushing the pistol out of his hands.

"Don't!" I cried out. He opened his mouth, shocked, and I knew he had just realized that it was me. I grabbed his wrist. "What the hell, soldier?!"

The reason I had come here was gone from my mind. All that mattered was that there was a man who wanted to take his own life.

I took a step back, letting go of him. He was still terrified and massaged his wrist where I had grabbed him.

I exited my power armor, not caring that I shouldn't, that as far as I was aware, he was capable of killing me.

"What. Are. You. Doing," I asked through gritted teeth as I took another step in his direction. My eyes caught sight of a freshly-recorded holotape on the ground next to him. He must have dropped it when I startled him. I picked it up. "What _is_ this?" I demanded.

Danse fidgeted, trying to take it away from me. I forcefully grabbed his arm and shoved the holotape into his Pip-Boy. It was an audio file.

I pressed play.

 _"It's hard to settle on where I should begin..."_ Danse's voice came from the small speakers of the Pip-Boy. _He_ had recorded it?

 _"As the minutes tick by and I stare at the walls of this godforsaken place, I am still trying to cope with the reality that I am a living lie."_

Danse looked down at the ground and I realized what the recording I had found was. His suicide letter. His goodbye note. This holotape was, to his knowledge, telling all the things he couldn't say aloud.

 _"My identity as Paladin Danse is nothing but a memory now. Everything I held dear, everything I've ever believed in is completely gone. I've spent far too long wondering why this happened to me, but the truth is... It doesn't matter."_

"Danse," I whispered. "No."

 _"I am a synth... which means I am freak of nature, a perversion of science and an example of where mankind has gone wrong. There's at least one choice I can make on my own now. Haylen and Nora will not accept it, but I hope at least Nora will understand. It's my wish this holotape is delivered to them before I... For the benefit of humanity, I need to die. Not because I'm cowardly or despondent, but because it's the human thing to do. The only one I'm allowed to._

 _This is Danse, former Paladin of the Brotherhood of Steel, signing off."_

"It's true?" I whispered. "I..." I had come here hoping to clear this up. I had come here wanting to hear that no, that it was all some big misunderstanding, that of course Danse, my Danse, wasn't a synth, that it was all alright.

The silence that fell between us spoke more than any words ever would. It _was_ true.

"How long?" I asked quietly. Danse looked at me, hurt shining in his eyes.

"I know how this looks... Nora—"

"HOW. LONG." I repeated. All that hurt, despair, sadness and betrayal I was feeling—all that turned into anger surprisingly quickly. My breathing was heavy as I glared at him. "Answer me!"

"You don't understand, I... This is more of a shock to me than it is to you. I didn't _know_."

I desperately wanted to believe him. But that would only make things more complicated.

"And why should I believe you?" I asked. "Why should I trust a word of what you say?!"

Danse hung his head.

"You shouldn't," he said quietly.

"Everything you _ever_ said to me was a _lie._ I trusted you with my life. I told you everything. _Everything_. I believed you would never betray the trust I granted you with. And guess what... Trust _doesn't_ pay off."

"It's my fault."

"Well no shit it is!" I exclaimed. "I don't even know if you're the person I think you are! I don't even _know_ you!" I took in a deep breath. "What happened to Paladin Danse? The real Danse, where is he."

"I don't know. I don't know."

"Tell me!" I grabbed the collar of his jumpsuit. "Tell me _now_!"

I looked into those deep, brown eyes I had thought I knew so well. They were wide with fear.

And that was the moment when I finally realized.

I knew that fear. I had seen it enough times in those same eyes. That emotion wasn't an imitation of something I had known - it was the same thing. And this man wasn't a stranger.

I let go of him, my eyes wide.

"Oh my God," I whispered.

I took a step back.

"Oh my God," I repeated. "Danse."

He shook his head, just slightly.

"I told you," he said firmly, although his voice was on the edge of breaking. " _I didn't know._ This is harder for me than it is for you. My whole life... Or what I perceive as my life... It has been a lie. Do you know what that feels like? To be a living lie?"

He inhaled sharply.

"I am a synth," he said quietly. "Something that should never have existed in the first place. Which means that, for the good of humanity, I... I need to be destroyed."

"No..." I shook my head lightly. "No."

" _Yes_. I guess Maxson sent you here to do it. I know... I know we're very close friends. If it were you in my place, I don't know if I would manage to stay strong. I know this is hard, Nora, but... I can't trust myself to finish this. Please, just..."

He handed me the revolver. I didn't take it.

"The empathy you're showing me... That's a human emotion."

Danse looked at me, his eyes shining. I could see hurt all across his features.

"Please don't do this," he said quietly.

"I have to. Because if you don't listen to yourself, at least listen to me... You've _got_ a choice."

"I shouldn't. Machines were never supposed to make their own decisions. It's the end of the world, all over again. I have to... Have to die."

"By just making that decision, you're proving yourself wrong!" I exclaimed. "Hypocrite."

He opened his mouth, but couldn't fight that argument.

"Good. Now that you've finally shut up, let _me_ speak my mind. Alright?!"

"First of all, you have no right to speak of your life as if it belongs to you. It doesn't. And you've known this ever since the day you joined the Brotherhood. If you're ordered to die, you go down fighting. If you're ordered not to die, you do whatever you can to fulfil that order. As a Brotherhood of Steel Paladin, I am _ordering_ you to live on." At some point, tears made their way into my eyes. "You don't have a _right_ to die here, Danse, you hear me? I will gladly put my own life on the line if it means keeping you alive. And I will do it. I will stand up to the whole of the Brotherhood if I have to. Understand that?"

"No," he said,his eyes wide in pure shock. "I... I can't believe you'd risk your life just to keep me alive. Why... Why would you do that for me?"

"Till the end of the line, remember?" I could barely talk, I was choking on my own tears. My voice was breaking. "We stick _together_ , no matter what." I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my uniform. "I already lost my family once. No way am I letting it happen again."

He mouthed the word 'family', completely astonished.

"I'm not..."

"You are my family. You, Piper, MacCready... Hell, even Dogmeat. You guys are all I have in this world. _Especially_ you. So don't you _dare_ take it away from me. Because if you kill yourself now, you're not punishing yourself in any way - you're only hurting _me_. A lot. Me, Haylen, Rhys, Piper, Ingram, all those squires back at the Prydwen... There are people who care about you, Danse. If you take your life, you don't only take it from yourself but also from them. From _us_."

"I hadn't... You're right. I hadn't even _considered_ the impact my death might have upon people who care about me." He shut his eyes. "How could I have been so selfish?"

"Considering the state of mind you were in," I whispered, "even using the word 'selfish' is unfair."

"Again, you're right..." Danse exhaled slowly. "I'm sorry if I don't... make much sense. The Brotherhood has been my entire life for the last fifteen years. To even think of them as my enemy... I don't think I'm capable of that."

"What, um, do you want to do?" I asked softly. First and foremost, I had to keep him thinking about the fututre, not the past and definitely not the present. "Whatever it is, I'm right there with you."

"I appreciate that, Nora, you have no idea how much... But I'm not certain there's anything you can do. When Haylen warned me about Quinlan's discovery, she begged me to confront Maxson. She said there were still Brotherhood soldiers who believed in me and would stand by me if I challenged his authority. At the time, it felt wrong to cause a rift in our ranks, and I was still overwhelmed by learning about my identity, but... knowing that I have you with me, maybe there is some way to reason with him. I'm afraid he might want to just shoot me on sight, but if you think it's worth a try..."

"It's not," I exclaimed. "Oh my God, no, Danse, no risking your life. Isn't there anything else we can do? It's a matter of hours before Maxson realizes I haven't followed his orders - maybe less, because—let's face it—he knows me."

"There is, of course, the only other way out." He bit onhis lower lip. "I have to leave the Commonwealth. People in the Capital Wasteland aren't so wary of synths and I've lived there most of my life, so it won't be hard to start over. The Brotherhood shouldn't be able to track me down all the way down there, and neither should they bother with one rogue synth when they have hundreds right here..."

"But I can't go," I whispered. "If you leave now, I'll have to stay in the Commonwealth. See this war through."

"I'm aware of that. That's why I didn't want to bring this up while there were other options."

So this was it, then. My ultimate failure. I managed to save the man I loved, but I would never see him again.

Whatever I did, I would lose.

I closed my eyes. "Alright," I said. I looked at him. "Alright. You should go. I'm..." I didn't finish. "You should go."

He hesitated before eventually nodding his head.

"I should get going as quickly as possible, then," he said. "We don't have long." He reached to his neck and pulled off his dogtags. He handed them to me. "Here. These should be enough proof of my death. Just show them to Maxson, he should believe you."

I nodded. "I will."

Danse called for the elevator and stepped inside once it opened. "I need to prepare, but I will meet you upstairs. And..." A bright smile lit up his face. "Thank you, Nora."

The elevator doors closed.

"Anything. For you," I whispered, "till the end of the line."

I had saved him. I wouldn't see him again, but he was alive. Only one last goodbye... That was all I had.

I stepped into my power armor, but I didn't put on the helmet. The conversation we were about to have was one I wanted to lead eye-to-eye.

I took one last look around the basement, but there was nothing of interest left. _I suppose I'll just have to... Go and say goodbye._

I didn't know if I'd be able to handle that.

I called for the elevator.

Should I tell him? I would never see him again, but would I have peace of mind knowing he knew how I felt about him? Or would it be better to leave it unspoken?

I stepped inside and pressed the button. I didn't like the uneven sound the mechanism made, but I didn't complain.

I would tell him. I didn't care about the repercussions, I needed to have this out in the open. We weren't supposed to have secrets from each other.

As the elevator doors slid open, I put on my most reassuring smile. I would have to be strong for the both of us.

"Danse, I—"

He wasn't there. The room was empty. I looked around, but I couldn't see anyone or anything in the bunker.

Prompted by a distressing feeling, I ran outside.

 _No_.

My blood ran cold as I took in the terrifying scene that unveiled before my eyes: a just-landed veritbird, engine still running, perched on the hill and Danse standing just outside the door, completely weaponless, completely helpless. And facing him was Elder Maxson himself.

Maxson. The one and only person in the entire world who had more influence upon Danse than I did.

I didn't think - I threw myself between the two, covering Danse with my own body as I confronted the Elder. I wanted to speak, to say something, but I realized I had nothing.

Maxson, however, did.

"How dare you betray the Brotherhood!"

"It's not her fault." Danse held his head up high. His voice was steady, calm. "It's mine."

"I'll deal with _you_ in a moment!" The Elder barely spared him a glance. I had never seen him so furious. Then, he turned towards me and I felt all of that hatred, all of that anger, on myself. It was all directed towards me. "Paladin! Why has this... this _thing_ not been destroyed?!"

"He's not a thing," I blurted out without thinking. "He's one of your best men."

"I see you're as foolish as you are insubordinate," he said slowly. "Danse isn't a man. It's a machine. A machine made to resemble a human being, but very much inhuman itself."

"Call him an 'it' again," I said quietly. The threatening tone of my voice managed to scare even myself. Maxson took a step back, surprised. "Call him a thing again. Just try."

It was strange - I was angry, but this time I didn't feel it overtaking me. My anger gave me complete calmness. I knew what I was going to say.

"He's not the enemy," I said. "Danse shares the same beliefs as the Brotherhood of Steel. He's the most dedicated soldier I know!"

"He's not even a real person. He's a _robot_. A machine that's had its mind programmed, it's memories erased, it's very _soul_ manufactured!" Maxson narrowed his eyes. "Those ethics you claim it's trying to champion aren't even its own. They were artificially inserted in order to have it blend in with society. It doesn't have a living, beating heart like you and me. It doesn't have a morality or emotions, it's a _thing_."

I desperately tried not to hear that. But I did hear it and it was everything I didn't want to admit to myself. It was true. And I couldn't deny any of it.

"It's true." Danse's voice was low and uncertain as it rose over the silence that fell after Maxson's last words. "I was raised within the confines of a laboratory, and some of my memories... aren't my own. But... when I saw my brothers in arms dying at my feet, I felt sorrow." He looked at me. "And when I defeated an enemy of the Brotherhood? I felt pride." He turned his gaze towards the Elder. "And when I heard your speech about saving the Commonwealth... I felt hope. Don't you understand? I _thought_ I was human, Arthur."

Then at that moment, I realized several things at once: that I had never heard Elder Maxson's first name before, but also that he and Danse must have been close enough that he could use it. And that Danse was ready to fight for his future. That he was ready to stand up even to Maxson himself.

That _maybe,_ I wouldn't lose him.

"Do you think this changes anything?" Maxson growled. "Whatever you think you felt is never going to be a real emotion." He seemed to hesitate for a moment there. "You were a good soldier, Danse, but you should never have existed. Nothing is going to change that."

"But does that really have to end with death?" I asked. "Why can't you just let this one go?"

"You let one synth go, there will be another. There will _always_ be another. You see Danse as a standalone being, but he's a single bomb in an arsenal of thousands, created by the Institute to lay waste to what's left of mankind. Look around you. Look around you, Danse!" He motioned at everything around us. "Look at the scorched earth and bones that litter the Wasteland. Millions—perhaps even billions—died because science outpaced man's restraint. Now the same thing is going to happen again?! Would you let it?"

I swallowed.

"I would," I said. "Because he's worth the risk."

"He's _what_ —?"

I didn't let him finish. "Can you just trust him? And if you can't, can you trust me? Danse's served in the Brotherhood for years. He's saved the lives of your soldiers countless times." I took a step towards him. "Now it's time you save his for a change."

Maxson's eyes were the color of the sky - hazy blue like before a storm. He pursed his lips.

"It's a synth," he said. "There's never going to be a place for it."

"Arthur." Danse threw his gun away. I couldn't help but tense at that; it was a stupid thing to do. "I'm not asking to be let back in the Brotherhood. All I'm asking is that you let me go in peace. I'll leave the Commonwealth and you will never hear of me again. It's as if I had died."

"You would leave?" Elder Maxson raised an eyebrow, skeptical. He pointed his gun at me. "Without her?"

"She would be safe with you. I know it."

He closed his eyes. "If you leave, you'll be considered a traitor among the Brotherhood," he said eventually. "As far as I'm aware, you were hunted down and executed by this Brotherhood of Steel Paladin." He spared me a single look. "But if you ever set your foot in any Brotherhood outpost, or speak to anyone from the Brotherhood of Steel, I'll have you shot on sight. Is that understood?"

"Of course. You can't believe how—" Something on Danse's face changed, but I didn't have the time to wonder what it was.N"God _damn_ it, watch it!" he exclaimed and threw himself at Maxson.

I felt my muscles tense, ready for a fight. Dogmeat growled. Maxson, startled, fired his laser pistol. Danse pushed him aside just in time before a Deathclaw slashed at that exact place with its claws, but not before the shot from Maxson's pistol hit him in the chest. I jumped back when the Deathclaw noticed me and instinctively knew I wouldn't have enough time to pick up my weapon before it killed me, power armor or not. Just on the edge of my vision, I could see the three Brotherhood soldiers—two Scribes and a Knight—jumping out of the vertibird and running in our direction, but I knew they would be too late.

The Deathclaw jumped at me, knocking me to the ground. I tried to get up, but struggling against the mass of weight that straggled me was virtually impossible. The Deathclaw was ready to kill me when a red bean of energy hit it in the head. I recognized the characteristic shot from Righteous Authority. The Deathclaw roared and turned its attention to the wounded Danse, who was lying on the ground with my laser rifle in his hands. I used that moment to kick the damned creature, just to get it away from him. That angered it much more than anything Danse could ever do to it, and it slashed at me with its claws, shearing my helmet off of my head and leaving long, deep claw marks in the chest piece of my power armor.

I instinctively raised my arms to cover my face. The Deathclaw roared. Arthur Maxson, only a small laser pistol in his hands, charged at the creature with bravado that I would probably never gather in myself. The Deathclaw growled when he shot it's snout several times. Razor-sharp claws slashed at him, but Maxson was faster. He jumped back and put several more shots into the back of its head for good measure. I tried getting up, but my power armor was practically busted. I didn't have the helmet on, but I could hear the warning sounds. Probably everything was malfunctioning. I craned my neck to look at Maxson and cried out when the creature hit him with its tail, knocking him to the ground. I gathered all of my strength to push open my suit and get out. My leg was crushed by a bent piece of armor and I couldn't pull it out.

Maxson looked up at the charging Deathclaw which was about to jump on him. He glanced at me for just a fraction of a second, then looked back at the Deathclaw and pulled out some item. His hands were bleeding when he held it and I realized it was a sharp shard of glass.

The Deathclaw jumped at him, its claws shining in the sunlight.

I shut my eyes.

It went silent.

"Paladin!" A familiar voice called out and I had to look up. One of the Scribes from the vertibird ran up to me. Haylen. "Oh, God. Can you pull it out?"

As if through haze, I understood that she meant my leg. I pulled, and she pulled me for good measures, and soon I was free. I stood up—my right leg was slightly wobbly, but it supported my weight—and looked around. The Knight was rolling over the killed Deathclaw. I walked up to them.

"Elder Maxson," Haylen whispered. I was no medic, but his wounds didn't leave much to say. The six gaping holes in his chest, bleeding heavily, were enough of an assessment. He wasn't going to survive it.

"H—Haylen?" I asked quietly, kneeling next to the Elder's body. He had just sacrificed himself for me... Why?

She shook her head, and that was enough of an answer. The other Scribe took off his hat. The Knight shut his eyes and looked at the ground. I exhaled weakly and moved to close his eyes. My hand was trembling.

Maxson. A man of legend, who had single-handedly taken down a Deathclaw (twice now), who had been the leader of the Brotherhood of Steel since he was fifteen years old... He was dead. We might have had our differences, but I couldn't even care about them anymore. _He saved my life. Why?_

He had been so close to killing me, but in the end, we parted as... friends, almost. Brothers in arms, fighting by each other's side. _That's_ how our story ended.

"Oh, God." Haylen whispered and I felt that strange feeling that I had forgotten about something. "Danse."

My heart sank as we ran to where he had fallen. The wound looked bad - a good part of his uniform was burnt, like always with energy weapons. He didn't look conscious, but it seemed that he was still breathing.

The Knight knelt down next to him. "Hold on in there, Paladin." Just like that, no mention of treason or being a synth or anything. "I'll send for a medi-team."

He stood up and began talking through a radio. The Scribe was transporting Maxson's body to the vertibird, which left the three of us alone.

Danse fluttered his eyes open, noticed me and Haylen, and attempted to smile.

"Hi there," he said in a rasped voice.

Maxson had shot him straight in the chest, but seeing how he was still breathing, it must have missed any important organs, thank God.

"Show me," Haylen demanded and he moved his arms, revealing the wound. To me, it looked terrible, but Haylen breathed a sigh of relief and immediately began rummaging through her backpack for first aid supplies.

Danse closed his eyes and leaned his head back.

"...Arthur?" He asked quietly.

"You tried to save him," I said.

"Tried," he repeated numbly. "...Of course. That's what I do." He coughed. "I'm always... trying."

He passed out after that and I almost panicked, but Haylen assured me that he wasn't dead and that his organism needed rest anyway.

"At least I think so," she sounded unsure. "I don't know how it is with..."

"He's human," I said curtly. "That's all you need to know from medical point of view."

Haylen nodded and neither of us said a word until the other Scribe—Tanner was his name, I learned—walked up to us and asked for orders.

I suddenly realized that, with Maxson dead and Danse unconscious, I was the nearest figure of authority.

"How long till the medi 'bird arrives?" I asked, trying to think up some plan.

"Shouldn't be longer than ten minutes," Tanner answered. He looked at Danse. "Is there a point...?"

Haylen laughed - and taking what had happened and what was happening, it was so strange that we both stared at her.

"It's completely fine," she said once she calmed down. "The beam just barely scratched the surface. There's a large burn, but harmless. He should be able to function normally just tomorrow."

"Good," I said, not sure how else to react. "That's... good."

Tanner nodded. "I don't think the Brotherhood would have survived losing both of them."

"The Elder is dead," I realized, because it only then hit me, with all its magnitude. "And we're on the brink of war with the Institute. What now?"

"I'm guessing someone will have to take over," Tanner said quietly. "Proctor Ingram is suitable, but..."

"She wouldn't," I finished for him.

There was a moment of silence.

"You should be the one to do it."

We all turned to look at Danse. He had had the strength to get up - I was convinced it was because Haylen's words had assured him he was fine.

"Me?" I repeated. "Why would you say that?"

"It... makes sense," Danse replied simply. He winced in pain, but other than that looked alright. (Aside from, of course, the gaping wound on his chest.) "People in the Brotherhood look up to you. And Maxson sacrificed himself for you. The last Elder decided your life was more important than his. I don't think there's a better argument."

Haylen nodded. "He's got a point. And you're the only one who actually stood by what was right back there."

I looked at her, then at Scribe Tanner and the young Knight whose name I hadn't caught yet.

Danse was waiting for me to say something.

"Could you leave us alone for a moment?" I asked quietly.

They reluctantly walked away, Haylen glancing over her shoulder to look at me. That left us officers alone - both of us almost critically wounded and barely standing, both of us covered in blood, both of us tired and weary.

Both of us emotionally scarred forever.

"So here we are. At the end of the line," I said solemnly. "Still alive. Still together."

"Still not banished from the Brotherhood," Danse added.

"Yeah. Listen, about Maxson..."

He bit his lip, hung his head. "I know what you're going to say. That it's not my fault, that I tried to help him."

"He shot you," I said calmly. "Your last act was to save his life. His was to end yours. I think that makes it pretty damn clear."

Danse tilted his head. "Nora." He looked at me as if he was only now seeing something. "You're a Paladin now... How'd this happen so fast? It still seems only yesterday I was camped up in Cambridge without any hope for a rescue..." He paused. "You've grown."

I let out a sad laugh. "You're talking like you're my mother."

"I'm proud of you."

" _Now_ you're talking like you're about to die." I bit my lip. "Please don't do that."

"I don't intend to." He slowly shook his head. "Not anymore... The thing is, you've come such a long way in such a short amount of time that I can't pretend to understand how you feel. All I can do is promise that I'll be with you every step of the way. I don't know if that's enough to convince you, but... I really do believe you should take the position as Elder of the Brotherhood."

"Now," I began. Was I really ready to do this? This was a very risky thing to do. Especially so soon after Maxson's death. "Here's why I told them to walk away." I took in a deep breath. No, I had thought it through. It was the right choice. "I want _you_ to do it, Danse."

There was a very, very long silence. I didn't add anything more - I knew my best friend well enough to know that any attempt at persuasion would just scare him off after a proposal like that.

He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath while I patiently waited for him to decide.

oooOOO***OOOooo

When the medical team arrived, terrified to see the Elder dead, one Paladin with her leg crushed and another covered in his own blood, two mentally broken Scribes and a traumatized Knight, they didn't ask questions. All of us received immediate treatment and—hallelujah—a cup of hot tea, and no one wanted anything from us other than to assess who had been hurt the most. Which, of course, was Maxson, with me easily winning the second place. Danse had to have his uniform cut away where it had merged with burned skin, but, true to Haylen's word, his injuries only looked scary and were actually harmless. My leg, for instance, was a completely different matter. We had assumed everything was fine since I could walk, but the internal damage was so terrible that the decision was quickly made that I should be drugged and immediately treated.

As I stared at the anaesthetic that was flowing through the surgical tube into my veins and I felt my consciousness slowly slipping away, I could only focus on the simple facts. I had survived. Danse had survived. We would live on.

Somehow, that felt like the worst punishment of all.

 **You are no longer enemies with the Brotherhood of Steel.**

 **New Perk: Know Your Enemy - you chose heart over mind and decided to save Paladin Danse. You now deal 50% more damage against irradiated ghouls, super mutants, and synths.** **Note** **that the Brotherhood of Steel perks Know Your Enemy and Loyalty Above All are equally rare, and contradict each other.**

 **Maximum level.**

 **New Perk: Nuclear Physicist - you've learned to split the atom... and command it. Radiation does 10% less damage and fusion cores last 5% longer.**

 **New Perk: Semper Invicta - there's strength in number, and as a member of the Brotherhood of Steel, you know that perfectly well. Your** **overall** **damage threshold is raised by 15% in the presence of any Knight, Scribe or Paladin.**


	32. Broken Trust

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**  
 **Broken Trust**

* * *

I closed my eyes. The wind that blew in my face felt cool and soothing on my skin. My hair was too short to be swept by the wind, but it ruffled it up pretty well anyway.

I breathed in, concentrating on that feeling. This was the first time I could be alone in the last three days. I wanted to enjoy it properly...

"Paladin!" I winced at the voice that broke my bubble of solitude. I turned around to see the young soldier saluting to me. "You're leaving, ma'am?"

"That _was_ my intention," I said dryly. Right now, I wanted to be as far away from the Brotherhood of Steel as possible. "Why?"

"You're requested on the bridge," he explained. "The Elder said it's important."

"Well, if _the Elder_ said so," I snarled, not giving a damn about manners, "I guess I should get going." I waved him away. "Thank you, Knight."

He saluted and walked away. I was surprised he'd managed to find me at all, actually.

I leaned on the guardrail in front of me. The front deck of the Prydwen had become my favorite place recently - and favorite hideout, too. Not many people knew about this place; there was nothing of interest here other than the small balcony-ish viewpoint. Proctor Taegan had shown it to me a few days ago when I couldn't get the public attention away from myself. Since then, I escaped here every time I felt like being on my own.

Which was often. I couldn't handle the pressure of everything that's been happening since Maxson's death. It was like everyone was expecting something of me—and I wanted to do it, I just didn't know what it was. So I hid. There weren't many good hiding spots on the Prydwen, so I ended up coming here.

There were too many people I couldn't face with a clear conscience and the idea that I could run into them was terrifying. I steered clear of Rhys for the death of me and I was scared out of my mind of the idea of looking Danse in the eyes after I'd been avoiding him for the last three days.

Everyone wanted me to _be_ something, to _do_ something. Proctor Ingram mercifully sent me on a few routine tech retrievement operations, but not until the Elder decided to keep me close. (Not a stupid decision - I was kind of tempted to run away.) Proctor Quinlan made it clear that he despised me after I spared the synth's life, Lancer-Captain Kells was convinced that I could have saved Arthur Maxson's life but I'd chosen Danse instead, Scribe Neriah gave me the cold shoulder, and Doctor Li only looked at me from afar—never saying a word, but judging me all the same.

I had never had enemies in the Brotherhood of Steel before. I mean, I'd never been the most popular, especially since I climbed up the ranks so fast, but I'd never been _hated._ Now, everyone who was bitter about Elder Maxson's death blamed me for it.

But there was also good stuff. For one, everyone who was relieved about Paladin Danse's survival thanked me for it. (I really hadn't done anything, neither to Maxson nor to Danse, but—apparently—I would always be associated with the confrontation at Listening Post Bravo.) The warmest moment had been when Haylen came to thank me for saving him. She actually _cried_ as she hugged me, thanking me over and over again.

I really hadn't known just how much he meant to her...

The one person I hadn't had the chance to meet was Danse—for now, stripped of his rank and court-martialled, but I was confident he would be found not guilty—but he was also the one person I didn't want to meet.

I had enough trouble without worrying about my doubtful love life. For instance, with the hole in the chain of command left by Maxson's death.

Choosing a new Elder was not as easy as I had thought - it still took the Brotherhood commandment a whole of three days to reach an agreement. Three days, which had been enough for me to heal enough to start walking again—on crutches, but still walking. Three days, which had been enough to perform a memorial service for Arthur Maxson - which had been one of the most depressing things I'd recently experienced. People died and you got used to it, but a funeral could be destroying. Of course, there was no time to even mourn that loss - we were at war.

But, with the changes in commandment, this was an even more trying time for us, the officers. We had to enforce a whole new agenda and plans without forcing it...

I had to give credit where credit was due—Ingram had done a hell of a lot much more than she should have. If there was anyone else who had done more for the Brotherhood's stability after Maxson's death, it was... No, there just wasn't anyone. And yet she had refused to take the title of Elder that had been bestowed upon her.

Maybe that was for the best. In the end, we chose not to choose a proper leader just yet and settle for a proxy. It worked well for the current, delicate situation.

I also couldn't applaud the vicegerent Elder enough on tactfully playing on Maxson's agenda and turning it about, but not too much. I was really impressed—true, most of it was Ingram's idea, but still. Instead of getting rid the officers still loyal to Maxson, they just transferred them to other assignments where they could be more easily monitored. That came along with some tactful mixing things up, like promoting Star Paladin Grimes to Sentinel and giving him Quinlan's job, or taking away Kells' ship captain privileges. I was amazed.

But one of the things I _didn't_ like about the vicegerent Elder's plans was the part I had to play in them. Which was something of a scapegoat.

Everyone knew I had been there when Maxson had been killed, but very few knew what had actually happened—just as very few knew why the whole thing happened in the first place.

The Elder had yet to make a statement, but the social state of the soldiers wasn't the best. I knew the two most popular theories were that a)Maxson had been a synth and we had killed him and b)either me or Danse was a synth and was responsible for Maxson's death. Neither of those put anyone in a good light.

Someone needed to fix this. I was just afraid the Elder thought that someone was me.

I knocked on the door to the war room even though it was open.

"Paladin."

"Elder." I nodded my head.

 _"Acting_ Elder. I'm not actually—"

I stepped inside and closed the door behind myself. "You wanted to see me, ma'am."

Evelyn sighed. "For God's sake, Nora, we're alone. You don't have to be formal." She crossed her arms. "I don't like this as much as you do, but there's nothing else that can be done. Right now, I need you to help me."

"Of course," I said indifferently. "What is it?"

"We need to end this cover-up. I agreed when Ingram asked me, but, Nora, I can't be the Elder of the Brotherhood of Steel!" She put a hand to her forehead. "This is too much for me and it makes no sense."

"Evelyn, I know, but—There's just no one else." I walked up to her. "Look, I know this is hard on you, but it's just as hard on me and everyone else. Danse was court-martialled earlier today and he's been revoked his status as a Brotherhood soldier and I was arrested for—"

"Nora." Evelyn put a hand on my shoulder. "I know. I had to sign these papers."

There was a knock on the door. She smiled weakly, clearly relieved. "Come in," she said. "Now, Nora, there's a reason I called you here. Let's wrap this all up, okay?"

"Wrap _what_ up?" I asked. I turned around to see who had come and I felt my blood run cold.

"Hi," Ingram said quietly. Taegan greeted us in a more formal way, but Danse only nodded.

I looked away, blushing wildly. I couldn't believe I'd never seen Danse wear anything but a Brotherhood uniform before. He was now dressed in a plaid shirt, jeans, and a long, dark trench coat with some belts and stuff, and he looked utterly normal, utterly... _human_. I couldn't even look at him without my heart beating a bit faster.

It hurt knowing that we couldn't be together. Why did I have to remind myself that it could never happen? _He's a synth._

"I heard about what happened," Ingram said. "What did you have in mind?"

"Right." Evelyn nodded. "I called you all here for a reason. First off, I wanted to make my resignation official. I hold you all witness." She looked at Ingram. "I can't be the leader the Brotherhood needs right now. Right now, the Brotherhood needs strong, solid leadership—someone charismatic enough to rally up the soldiers, but someone experienced enough to lead the vanguard during an attack. I don't fit that description. That being said," she turned to Danse, "I have a proposal for _you_."

"Yes?" A flicker of interest appeared within his previously dark eyes.

"Since you're a civilian, I hope this won't sound too desperate, but..." She closed her eyes as she exhaled. "Would you agree for me to make you a Brotherhood of Steel Paladin?"

Danse swallowed. "With all due respect, Elder, but I would not." He crossed his arms. "The Brotherhood needs stability at the moment. You can't hold a synth in your midst. For the good of the Brotherhood of Steel, I will not join."

"Huh." Evelyn stretched her head back. "I see how you got this name, you really _are_ dense. Maybe I asked the wrong question, then. I don't want you to _join_ the Brotherhood of Steel. We need an Elder." She looked up. "Will you _lead_ the Brotherhood of Steel?"

Three days earlier, when I'd asked Danse the very same question, he hadn't answered me. But I could see he was considering it. Three days ago, he was ready to agree.

During those three days, the Brotherhood hadn't been the nicest to him. He'd been stripped of his rank and all privileges he had had, he had been expelled from the Brotherhood and he'd been arrested twice—once to be placed under military court and once while he was injured badly enough to spend the night in the prison clinic. He'd been accused of murdering the Elder, whose life he'd tried to save till the very end, and of treason he hadn't committed. Worst of all, he'd been ignored by myself and Haylen, the two people he apparently cared most about.

It would take someone incredibly forgiving or someone incredibly dumb to agree after that.

I almost forgot that Danse was both.

So the next day, during the senior staff meeting to discuss the election of the next Elder, after Star Paladin Evelyn and Proctor Ingram lay down their case, Danse officially agreed to take upon that role.

"I think it's only appropriate." Proctor Taegan nodded his head. "Danse?"

"I've made my case." My friend looked down at the ground. It was clear he didn't know how to act in the situation he had been placed in.

"None against?" Taegan asked. There was a dangerous spark in his eyes, the same one I knew from when he had something planned.

Proctor Quinlan stood up and just walked out of the room without a word - no one stopped him. Lancer-Captain Kells followed, but I breathed a sigh of relief when no one else did.

Danse looked at me, and I was surprised to see fear in his eyes. I narrowed my brows.

"It'll be okay," I mouthed to him.

He closed his eyes and put his hands on the table.

"I want to make one thing clear to everyone—not just the ones gathered here now, but everyone. This body might be synth, but my mind and heart belong to the Brotherhood. I cannot change what I am, but if I get to decide _who_ I am, I would never have chosen anything else." He shut his eyes. I noticed that his knuckles were white. "The Institute is still a tremendous threat to humanity and I vow to stop them, even if that means pulling the trigger on my own kind."

"Still none against?" Taegan asked calmly. There was no answer. He bowed his head at my friend. "Sir."

Danse nodded, slowly. "The Litany is clear." He glanced around the room and I was sure he looked straight at me. "We have a new Elder."

We had a new Elder. I looked around the room. Were we supposed to cheer or something...?

"Some adjustments will be required..." Taegan muttered. "But the question that still needs being asked is this: will the rest of the Brotherhood fall in line?"

Ingram nodded. "Elder Danse has had support and loyalty among my people even while Maxson was still in charge. I think most soldiers will be actually _pleased_ with this change."

I couldn't concentrate on anything more afterwards, Ingram's very first words echoing in my head.

Elder. Danse. Suddenly, it became real.

I quickly looked at the floor, trying very hard not to blush because my stupid personal situation just became that much harder. I was in love with the supreme leader of the biggest military force in the Wasteland.

Danse crossed his arms and only then did I realize how close to me he was standing. I panicked and accidentally pushed my chair into his.

"I'm sorry, sir," I quickly apologized. _Shit, it's the Elder!_ "I didn't realize..."

He pulled me into a hug.

"Shut up, Nora," he whispered into my ear.

Not 'Paladin', not some military rank. My name.

I relaxed immediately after hearing that. _Nothing's_ _changed. He's not a synth, he's not the Elder... He's my friend._

I hugged him back.

"Not a chance," I whispered.

One of the many good things about this change of commandment was that the new Elder was much more open to letting me go where I wanted without much question. I suppose Danse, in the end, trusted me more than Evelyn did. Whether he should was another question.

"Hey, Dogmeat," I said as I knelt down in front of the German Shepherd. I could swear that dog had become the mascot of the Brotherhood of Steel during the last few months - soldiers brought him food, took care of him when Danse couldn't, played with him—all in all, Dogmeat had a better life than I ever would. He was a good dog. "You take care of Danse, right?" I asked, rubbing his belly when he lay down. He looked at me, tongue out, and I smiled. "He's the Elder now. He's gonna need help from a good boy like you."

I didn't need help anymore. Because now, I knew exactly what I needed to do—what I couldn't do in the last few days, after that whole business with Danse came about—and it was going to Diamond City as soon as possible and hoping to God I wouldn't be too late.

Of course, I _was_ too late.

When I got there, the city gates were closed. I slowed down to a walk from my run earlier.

"No," I said under my breath. I couldn't be too late!

I ran to the intercom and pressed the call button. The red light was shining, but it was really no information to me about what was going on inside.

"Danny?!" I screamed into the microphone. "You open this gate right now! I need to get in, you're all in danger!"

No answer. I looked around, worried. There was no sign of any fight, there were no fires, no dead bodies, no signs of a massacre—not as far as I could see.

I switched the mic on again. "Daniel Sullivan! Open the gate!"

When I released the button, I was only met with static. _Damn it._ The trouble in the Brotherhood of Steel was taken care of for now, but I should never have thought that it meant I could sit back and relax. My friends were inside!

I kicked the giant metal gate, but it was only a means to give vent to my anger. It wouldn't open unless someone did it remotely from inside.

"Listen," I said into the intercom, "my name is Nora. I'm with the—" Brotherhood of Steel? Poor idea. "—the Minutemen. I wanna help. If there's anyone listening to this, will you please open the city gates? It's crucial."

I took my finger off the button. Static.

I sighed. What could I _do_?! I turned away, ready to look for another way into the town, when, as if by a miracle, the static was cut off.

"Nora?" The voice was so husky, so filled with despair and so hopeless that I stopped.

"MacCready!" I cried out. I got back to the microphone in a fraction of a second. "MacCready?! Oh, thank God, you're alive!"

I was ready to hug that speaker.

"—there's crazy stuff going down here!" MacCready's voice faded into static for a moment. "...were right all along!"

I closed my eyes. "I know, RJ. I know. But for now, can you please find a way to get this gate open?"

"I can try," he replied. "Never been much for electronics."

The red light went out and the static was replaced by silence. Then, after a moment which seemed to drag on through eternity, the mechanism of the gate screeched and slowly, it began to open.

I ran through as soon as there was an opening big enough for me to fit.

The lights were out. That was the first thing I noticed—the lights that always shone, day and night, were black right now. The second thing I noticed was that the security guards weren't there. There was only MacCready, who was hugging someone else close to his body. At first, I assumed it was Piper, but she was too short. The lights flickered for a second and I saw it was in fact Piper's sister.

But if MacCready was here, and if he was with Nat, that meant...

My eyes widened.

"No," I whispered. "It can't be."

"Nora—" MacCready reached out towards me, but I stepped away from him, shaking my head as if it could change anything.

"No... No. _No!"_ I screamed, tears streaming down my face. I turned on heel and ran into the city. "No," I repeated. "This isn't possible! Not her. Not her." I bit my tongue and felt the bitter taste of blood fill my mouth. I spat. "No..."

This was my fault! I was too late, I was—I should have gone straight to Diamond City instead of stopping at the Prydwen!

Had I really traded Danse's life for Piper's?! That was not a price I was ready to pay! He wasn't worth it, no one was!

Not her. Not my best friend.

I ran into the city market and had to stop to take in what was happening. This was what anyone could call panic. People were running around in an amok, some of them packing their belongings, some of them screaming at others... The security guards were trying to control it, but some of them gave in to the panic too.

What I couldn't see was the cause of this chaos.

"Nora!"

I turned around in an instant to see Nat Wright, running towards me, backpack on shoulder and gun in hand. She caught up with me and, maybe in an instinct, grabbed my hand. The warmth of her body was surprising even though I was prepared for it. I looked down at her, shell-shocked. I still didn't know what was happening...

"Nat?" I knelt down to be at her eye level. "Nat, honey, what's going on here? What happened?"

"It's Mayor McDonough," she replied. Kids are amazing - they don't panic like adults do. They just soldier on. Keep a level head. "Turns out Piper was right all along!"

"He's a synth," I said quickly. "I know."

"So anyway, nobody would have noticed anything if it weren't for Danny. He said he saw the mayor talkin' to one of the Institute's synths—you know, those creepy metal ones. I don't think the mayor was very happy about that, 'cause he threw Danny out the window of his office. He was lucky to survive it! A bunch of people came to see what was happening and Danny said what happened, so they all got very scared and angry, and then Piper—" Her voice broke. "Piper ran to the mayor's office - and she was really angry, too. That was two hours ago! Nora, please! You gotta help!"

"Two hours?" I repeated. I smiled even though there were tears in my eyes. It wasn't my fault. I wasn't late. "Nat, listen to me. You go find MacCready. He'll take you someplace safe until I can get this all sorted out. Alright?"

She nodded. "Right. Thanks, Nora."

I gave her a pained smile. "Of course, kid."

I grabbed my revolver and headed towards the mayor's office. If Piper wasn't alive, McDonough would have hell to pay. He would wish he'd never left the Institute.

"Infiltrator synths are the worst, aren't they?"

I jumped up in fear when I heard Deacon's voice so close to my ear.

"What the hell?!" I exclaimed. "Deacon, what are you doing here?!"

He shook his head as he took off his Diamond City Security helmet. Posing as a guard, why didn't that surprise me?

"Stuff's happening," he replied simply. "I'm usually there when stuff's happening."

"Yet you don't seem to be doing a lot," I snarled. I decided to ignore him and continue up the stairs.

Deacon followed me. "I prefer not to interfere. Not much of a fighter."

"Of course," I laughed dryly. "So, what did you find out about that info I gave you? Is Mayor McDonough really a synth?" I didn't even try to hide my irritation. "Oh, or a better question! Is there really a synth in the Brotherhood of Steel?" I didn't let him answer. "Oh wait, wait. You didn't tell me any of that! I had to find out on my own!"

"Yeah, well, it worked out for the best." He looked around. "Maybe not McDonough... But with the Brotherhood?"

I stopped. "Worked out for the best?!" I glared at him. "Do you have any idea what I went through?!"

"Just sayin'. No one got killed, and you even got them to accept a synth in their ranks. That's a pretty damn good outcome if you're asking me. Might convince the rest of the synths in the Brotherhood to a coming-out."

"Ha, ha," I laughed dryly. I frowned. "...You _are_ joking, right?"

Deacon didn't answer. Instead, he jumped up a few steps ahead. He clapped his hands. "So, Mayor McDonough! Or rather M7-62, as his Institute designation is. Got a classic bit of synth spy here. A real pain in the ass for us synths. Those are the reason for all the prejudice we get. Well, I suppose there's actually some grounds for that... Blue? You alright?"

I wasn't. "M7-62?" I asked in a whisper. "That's... an interesting serial code." I swallowed, unable to fight the knot that was tying in my stomach. I felt sick. Did I want to know? Did I really? "Any idea how long since he's been replaced?"

"Huh." Deacon leaned his head back. "Let's see... 2278, McDonough gets elected Diamond City's mayor for the first time. No evidence to support he's a synth, really... But then, 2279 hits. The mayor gets into a feud with his brother, John McDonough, over the rights of ghouls in Diamond City. Doesn't end up well, all ghoul residents are kicked out of DC, John leads a group of refugees, the two don't speak to each other anymore... Pretty sure that there was a synth. So that would give like eight... nine years?" Deacon looked at me. "Why you askin'?"

Eight, nine years... So it's always _been_ Danse. The same person, all along.

I'd made a mistake.

"No reason," I said quietly. "Just curious."

Deacon looked at me intensely, but eventually he turned away. "Okay then. If that's what you say." He offered me a hand. "Now, come on. We're on a clock here."

I grabbed him by the hand and let him lead me up the stairs, to the mayor's office.

"And just about how do you want to approach this?" I asked as we ran.

"Not sure yet," Deacon answered louder than it was necessary. He kicked the door open. "I prefer to make up my plans as I go."

I looked at him, smiling widely. I'd never thought of Deacon as a man who would kick in a door—or even less so as a man who _could_. So maybe this was the time when we all showed this new, brave side of ourselves.

We ran into the waiting room. The door to the mayor's office was closed. And then, I saw what my emotion-ridden mind read as a miracle.

"God damn it, McDonough! Get the hell out of there, you coward!" Piper Wright, trying to kick the door open and screaming insults to the other side.

"Piper!" I cried out and threw my arms around her. Tangible. Real. I hadn't lost her.

"Oh-kay..." Piper tried to wriggle out of my embrace. "Nice to see ya too, Blue, but I kinda have to breathe." I didn't let go. "...What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said. "...You're alive."

She pulled away from the hug. "Sure I'm alive. Why did you think I wasn't?"

"Your sister. She's scared out of her mind, Pipes. Everyone thinks you've been taken hostage or killed."

"I'm fine." She smiled. Her trademark newsboy hat was gone somewhere, her hair was braided, and she looked more mature than the last time I saw her, but... she was okay. "I really am, Nora."

Deacon stepped between us. "Yeah. Love myself a reunion in the hall, but we got other things to worry about now. You'll catch up later."

I waved my hand around. "Deacon – Piper, Piper – Deacon." There was no time for longer introductions. "Pipes, what in the name of everything that's holy is happening here?"

"Take a guess," she said as she sized up the closed door in front of us. It was steel, not wood. No easy way of breaking in. _"Someone_ 's been warning everyone for the last two years, but no one listened." She looked at us. "McDonough's a synth. And not even that oh-my-god-I'm-a-synth-I-didn't-know-that kind of synth, but that I'm-an-actual-Institute-spy-and-I'm-ready-to-kill-you-all kind of synth."

"Yeah, we know that much," I said.

"He threw Danny Sullivan out the window." Piper nodded her head at the broken window. "Now the bastard's got Geneva as a hostage. He would've taken me, too, if I'd come earlier." She massaged the back of her neck. "Guess for once, it actually paid off to be late." She kicked the closed door in a sudden fit of anger. "But it still doesn't justify all this!"

"Piper. I know." I put a hand on her shoulder. "But we've got a certain advantage here."

"Really?" Deacon leaned in, suddenly interested. "And what's that?"

I made a show of walking to Geneva's desk. "We've done this before."

Piper's face brightened. "Kellogg!" she exclaimed. "Of course! It's the same system!"

"Yeah." I smiled. "Which means that, basically..." I pressed the button hidden under the counter. "I can do _this_."

The door swung open (which, to be frank, surprised me a bit—I was gambling back there). I immediately readied my revolver. Deacon pulled out a laser pistol and Piper her own gun.

"Not a single step!"

I froze. Mayor McDonough was holding his gun against Geneva's temple. Tears streamed from her eyes as she struggled against him—to no avail.

"It's over, McDonough," Piper said sternly. "Let her go."

"And have you kill me? Likely story." His personality was completely different now and suddenly, I realized that all this time, he'd been pretending. "If you try anything, she dies."

Geneva tried to scream something, but it came out muffled through the rag she was gagged with. She only shook her head.

"You're not leaving here," Deacon said calmly. "Everyone knows who you are. If you step outside, those people will kill you. You have no choice—you gotta surrender."

"Kill? I've ruled this town for _years_. I've made them _scared!_ They won't lay a finger on a synth! Who do you take yourself for, boy?"

I guess the 'boy' part must have really struck home, because that was when the first shot was fired. It was from Deacon's laser pistol, and it hit McDonough in the arm with which he was holding Geneva. She struggled to get away and that's when the second shot was fired—from McDonough's revolver this time.

Piper screamed something and threw herself towards me.

"I..." I blinked. I touched my side, where a wet stain was growing. Blood. My blood.

I wasn't wearing armor. I wasn't even wearing strengthened clothes, just my old leather jacket. I hadn't come prepared for combat...

"Blue!" Piper managed to hold me up when I was close to collapsing.

Deacon kicked the gun out of the other synth's hands and pointed his own pistol at him. "Stay put," he growled.

"Hold out, Nora," Piper whispered. "It's gonna be okay. I'll call a doctor and..."

I narrowed my brows and gritted my teeth through the pain. "One... bullet?" I laughed. "Not enough to take me down." I rolled over in search of my backpack. It'd fallen somewhere when I got shot. "Gonna need painkillers," I said. "Stimpaks."

Deacon glanced at me. "The hell's wrong with her? She insane?"

"No," Piper said, smiling down at me. "Just determined."

Two Stimpaks later, I was feeling strong enough to stand on my own and only lean on Piper's shoulder a little bit.

"Now," Deacon said, "what do we do with this one?" He cocked his gun at McDonough.

"Kill it," Geneva said firmly.

 _"It?"_ Deacon looked at her. "Now, that's just offensive. Any better ideas?"

"I'm with her," I said. "We can't let him go back to the Institute."

"He has to be put on trial," Piper argued. "The people will want justice and justice they shall have. He's gotta answer for his crimes."

"So, basically, he dies either way," Geneva noticed.

McDonough reached for his revolver, but Deacon fired a warning shot. "Stay. Put."

"Look, I know we're tempted," Piper said, "but we can't stoop down to his level. Killing him without a trial would be the wrong thing to do here."

I looked at the ground. "I'm standing down. It's your town."

Piper and Geneva exchanged looks.

"He lives," Geneva said finally.

Piper cocked her revolver at him. "For now."

"Thank you, Doctor," I said as I pulled my shirt back on. The would from when McDonough had shot me two days earlier was nothing but a scar now. And this one probably wouldn't even stay.

Doctor Sun nodded. "Of course, miss. That'll be seventy bottlecaps." Considering this was my third visit in two days, the man was robbing me blind—but there was no other doctor in Diamond City.

I paid without a word of protest, then went outside. The sun was shining again. That was good - even Diamond City, with all its rust and dirt, could look hopeful in the sunrays. And this was also the dawn of a new age. End of oppression, in a way.

Of course, that's how Piper described it in the newspaper. She gave me way too much credit and tactfully downgraded her own role in everything. Sometimes I couldn't get out of wonder at how that woman was still alive.

"Brought something to drink," I announced as I set the three bottles of Nuka-Cola on the table MacCready and Piper were sitting by.

"Victory drink," Piper said with a cocky grin. She uncapped the bottle against the edge of the table. "We hella deserve it." She raised the bottle. "To freedom."

I sat down. "I'll drink to that once we'll have it. For now, we don't. There's still the institute to deal with."

MacCready leaned back in his chair. "You've gotta loosen up sometimes, Nora. The fate of the world doesn't rest on your shoulders. You don't need to be so tense."

I sighed. "I know."

"Besides..." Piper turned on the radio which stood on the next table. "Everyone thinks you're a hero. Just listen to this."

 _"It's all over but the crying  
And I can't get over crying over you..."_

I deadpanned. "It's a song," I noticed dryly.

"Not the song. Listen to what Travis has to say."

So I patiently waited for the song to end—mostly just to humor Piper, I had to admit.

 _"That was The Ink Spots with_ It's All Over But the Crying, _"_ the DJ's voice eventually came on. _"That never stops, huh? The crying... Uh, mentioned... in the song."_ He cleared his throat. " _Um, either way... Here's a bit of news—or what I think qualifies... as news? Um, the city council of Diamond City's made a statement that they had nothing to do with... the, um—Everything with the mayor. And all that. Um... Yes."_

"Sure, I'm the hero," I said. Piper just rolled her eyes.

 _"In other news—sounds like there was... Some kind of—of disagreement in... the Brotherhood of Steel! In, like, the upper ranks or... I don't know. Is there a word for that? But, um, it's like... someone had words with someone and... It's just a rumor, but—like... Some key personnel left? Or was forced to leave? Or possibly... killed? And, um... There's been some change in command, apparently? So I don't know if that's true... If it is, I don't know if it could, um, change... what they're doing? And if it's not true... I hope they don't get mad at me... for reporting it."_

I reached towards the radio more abruptly than even I would suspect from myself and turned it off. I didn't even realize how shaken up I was.

Piper was looking at me.

"Nora," she said slowly, "what the hell is going on in the Brotherhood of Steel?"

I felt a lump in my throat.

"It's... There was..." I looked away to avoid facing her. "One of the officers was... I mean—there's been..." I shut my eyes. "You know like... What happened here... with the mayor?" I gulped. "Kind of the same thing."

"Who...?" As always, Piper Wright read me well. She frowned. "Oh. Of... Of course."

MacCready crossed his arms angrily. He glared at the ground.

"Is he—" Piper shook her head. "I mean, how is he handling it?"

Oh, my God. How terrible _was_ I? I'd been concerned about how Danse's situation was affecting me that I hadn't even...

"I haven't spoken to him since," I whispered. "I... don't know. I have absolutely no idea how he's handling it." I paused. "I'm a terrible, _terrible_ person. I just wanted... You know, Piper... Just once, I wanted things to go my way. Guess I didn't take it so well that they didn't..." I stood up. "You know what? I'm just... I'm gonna go. It's been great to see you guys again."

I turned to leave.

"Nora?" Piper grabbed my hand. "I really hope you find what you're looking for."

What _was_ I looking for? True love? That didn't exist. The last few days spoke loudly enough.

"I'm not _looking_ for anything," I said coldly. She rolled her eyes at me, but I just exhaled. "Piper, really, it's great that you've found your true love and you're happy with that, but maybe..." I looked at her and lightly shook my head. "Maybe I'm just not meant to have that."

"Nora—"

"No, its—" I waved a hand, trying to hide my pained expression. "It's fine. I'm fine."

I wasn't fine. I was as far from fine as I could be. Piper saw that, of course - Piper always could see straight through me. But she didn't stop me anymore. She let me go.

I didn't want to be alone right now, but I didn't want to impose myself on anyone anymore. I didn't call for a vertibird to take me to the airport. Besides, I couldn't head back to the Brotherhood before I was done with this whole case.

And there was one more person I needed to inform about this.

I didn't set a very aggressive pace—in fact, I tried to make the journey through the radiation-infested Boston as relaxing as I could. I tried to avoid combat, remembering what had happened with McDonough. I wasn't ready for a fight. As a result, I only got to Goodneighbor on the second day since I'd left Diamond City. That's four days since the whole thing happened. With any luck, the news had gotten here already.

There were no guards at the gate—opposed to Diamond City—but once inside, I was spotted by Fahrenheit. She grabbed her sniper rifle and jumped off the dumpster she had been using as a lookout point.

"Hi there, Nora." She gave me a cold look. "Haven't seen _you_ in a while."

I massaged my nape. "I've kept myself busy." I looked around, but Goodneighbor was the only place that never changed. Everything and everyone looked as hostile as always. "Hancock in his office?"

She nodded. "Far as I'm aware. I'm not his babysitter, you know."

Some people claimed she was his daughter, but that was more of an urban legend than anything. No one really knew just how old John Hancock was—one of the perks of being a ghoul was immortality.

I went into the Old State House, carefully closing the antique door behind me. The stairs creaked as I walked upstairs, to Hancock's lounge. As soon as I walked in, he looked at me with those big black eyes of his and I felt that he knew.

I sat down on the sofa next to him and softly, word by word, explained what happened. Hancock didn't interrupt me—he just listened, his expression impossible to read. If he was angry, he controlled it well. If he was sad, he didn't let it show.

Eventually, when my story was over, we just sat in silence. I was holding his hand—I wasn't clear on when exactly I had started.

Hancock looked at the ground.

"...Never wanted to hear _that_ ," he said eventually. He moved away from me, took off his hat and began folding in nervously. "Shit."

I nodded. "Yeah." I couldn't agree more. "It is what it is."

"Thanks for telling me," he said absently. "I kinda knew, but... Thanks."

He didn't sound like he was thankful. "Are you sure?"

"No. Of course I wish you hadn't told me!" He stood up. "For the last ten years, I've hated my brother's sorry guts. It kinda hurts to know it was a synth. Had I been hatin' the guy for the wrong reasons all this time? I had no idea if he was an asshole in the end or not. I'm just angry at myself in the end." He crossed his arms. "The truth _hurts_ , Nora. Sometimes it's better to leave some things unspoken."

I looked down. "I'm sorry," I said.

"No, don't be sorry. Exposing the Institute is always good, even if people are gonna get hurt along the way. Everyone needs to know just what they're doing." He sighed. "You did the right thing."

"Thanks," I whispered.

"Look, I don't wanna throw you out, but... would you mind? I kinda—I need a minute alone."

"Sure thing, Mayor," I said.

"If you wanna stay the night, you can take a room in Hotel Redford, free of charge. I'll cover it."

I nodded my head, but I didn't accept that invitation. Hancock was right about one thing - the Institute were still at large and they were still a threat to everyone in the Commonwealth. I particularly didn't like the fact that they weren't doing anything—or rather, no one knew what they were doing. It seemed kind of improbable that they were just sitting back and licking their wounds... But what _were_ they doing? That was still a mystery.

Clearly, they had contacted Mayor McDonough about something, but whatever plans they had for Diamond City, those plans couldn't be executed without someone to execute them. So for now, Diamond City was safe. But Diamond City was only a small part of all the people that the Institute endangered.

And I would not rest while they were still at large. I knew that I was just one person and that I couldn't hurt them directly, but if I helped the Minutemen or the Brotherhood or the Railroad—all of whom were planning a campaign against the Instittute—I would be able to inflict some damage.

I thought about all that on my way to the Boston Airport. When I eventually got there, I volunteered to help Proctor Ingram and Doctor Li with reassembling Liberty Prime, but they just sent me away. Apparently, I wasn't much use to that project in this stage of advancement.

Eventually, I ended up just helping other officers around the Prydwen and avoiding any unnecessary human contact. Ever since I'd come back from the Institute—no, ever since I'd been promoted to Paladin—I'd been feeling alienated while among the Brotherhood. I shouldn't have gotten that promotion. I didn't deserve it. It wasn't my place, it wasn't my role... It felt just wrong.

Of course, everyone tried to make it easier for me, giving me a new room, funding (which was something I'd dreamed of for God knows how long), and some leadership privileges, but most of those efforts only backfired.

I didn't want to lead others. I had had enough of my decisions ruining people's lives.

Getting paid for doing nothing wasn't an idea that suited me very well, either. That's why I ended up spending my time doing something at least a bit productive.

The quarters I had been assigned was, as I learned, Danse's old room - which made it all the harder to settle in. The room practically radiated belongingness. I didn't even dare to touch anything at first, it was so clear these things belonged to somebody else. When I went to sleep, I did it carefully and tried to only lay on the edge of the bed. I still felt like this wasn't my own place.

I groaned, rubbing my eyes. "This is a nightmare."

I heard a knock on the door. I sat up, surprised. I reached for the watch which lay on the night table and looked at the time. It was half past midnight.

I quickly threw a bathrobe over my underwear and went to answer the door.

It was Danse - the supreme leader of the Brotherhood of Steel, wearing only a pair of black boxer shorts, looking utterly miserable, and holding a pillow in his hands.

I rubbed my eyes.

"You're awake," he noticed. He seemed confused. "I... didn't expect you to be."

Maybe it was the fact that I hadn't slept for two days, but my mind was working desperately slowly.

"Then... why did you knock?"

"To check if you were asleep... I think." He looked around, almost as if _expecting_ to see someone there with me. "Can I come in?"

I stepped aside. My mind was still hazy.

"It's your room," I reasoned.

Danse sat down on the bed. "I suppose." He looked at me with those big sad brown eyes of his. "I didn't feel entirely right. I thought if I came back here, maybe I would be able to fall asleep."

"I thought you had trouble sleeping," I noticed. Maybe I wasn't at my best at the moment, but I could still join simple facts.

"It's been... better since I met you," he admitted. "In fact, many things have been."

I opened the wardrobe and looked over the clothes inside. Most of them were Danse's, but I had placed my civilian clothes and Brotherhood officer's uniform at the very edge.

"What are you doing?" Danse asked when I took out the latter.

"Well, since neither of us can fall asleep and you've so very kindly made me even more awake with this conversation," I said as I tried to put the jumpsuit on without actually taking off the bathrobe, "I doubt it will hurt to go out for a walk. Fresh air and everything."

"I suppose." He reached for his own uniform and probably only then realized that he was practically naked—and then probably realized that it didn't bother me. Still, I could clearly see the red blush on his cheeks and ears as he quickly dressed up, his back turned to me. I smiled - that boyish embarrassment was something that was so characteristic for him that I couldn't welcome it more in this uncertain time.

For his sake, I looked away. Then, I proceeded to lead him to the place I had never shown anyone before—to the front deck observation point where I had been sneaking away to during the last week.

"I didn't know you could go out through here." Danse looked around. "Is this even allowed?"

"That's up to you to decide now, Elder." I noticed the flash of hurt in his eyes and quickly changed the subject. "You've seriously never been on the front deck? You said you've lived on the Prydwen for years."

"It's... never occurred to me. Neither did I have a reason to do so."

I opened the door with my lockpick. Danse pretended not to notice.

We walked outside and I closed the door as quietly as it was possible, not wanting to wake anyone. It _was_ the middle of the night, after all.

The wind was strong that night, something I hadn't expected. And I hadn't even taken my jacket... I shivered.

Danse put an arm around me. I couldn't restrain myself further and cuddled to his chest, relishing in the warmness that radiated from his body.

"It's colder than I thought it would be," he said quietly.

I made a sound that was meant to signal agreement.

My heart yearned for this moment to last, for him to hold me. Just holding me would be enough. This felt like a safe haven, at last. My sanctuary.

"I never thanked you," Danse noticed.

"There's no need."

"You saved my life... If it weren't for you, I wouldn't even be here." He sounded unnaturally uncertain. "I... don't think I'll ever be able to make it up to you."

He was acting strange, even for Danse.

I moved away from him. "Are you alright?" I asked.

He put his hands on the guardrail. "No," he said quietly. "There's something I've been meaning to discuss with you, but now that the appropriate moment has come... I realize I have no idea how to begin."

"Hey." I smiled as I put my hand on his arm. "Whatever it is, I'm here for you. I won't judge. Promise."

He smiled sadly. "You make it sound so easy," he said. "The thing is, Nora, I'm not like you. I'm not like... most. Those last few weeks have been the hardest part of my life and I can't even vocalize why. I'm just... not very good at the talking."

"You don't have to be. Cause I'm good at listening." I sent him a reassuring smile. "You can talk to me, Danse. If this has anything to do with you... you... being a synth—

"It doesn't," he said. "Not directly, at least. It's just that... My whole life, I felt like I was... Like I was working towards a path to shape my future. When I joined the Brotherhood, that path only became clearer. But... ever since I was made Elder, I feel... lost." He bit his lip. "I have no idea what to do. I don't have a plan. There's always been someone who could advise me what choices to take, but now I am suddenly expected to make them all and... I don't feel ready for that." He paused. "For the first time in my life, I don't have all the answers. And... And it scares the hell out of me."

"...Danse?" That strange flicker in his eyes kind of scared me. "You _can_ be afraid. It's only human to be scared."

"Human?" He took a step back. "Human? Really? Nora, let me tell you something. I am a machine that thinks like a human who was trained to hunt the very thing I am. I'm a living _joke_! Don't you understand? I've started out as nothing, and I've ended up as _nothing_! And you know what—"

"I don't _care_. Whatever you're saying is not true." I narrowed my brows. "Elder of the Brotherhood of Steel. The man who's going to restore peace to the Commonwealth. A synth who managed to overcome its nature by strength of _will_ alone." I gave him a shy smile. "That's 'nothing'? You were _never_ 'nothing', Danse. Not in my eyes."

Danse hesitated.

"I've lost _everything_ —" He began.

"And I know that feeling, God damn it! I've lost everything too, you know! I _know_ how you feel."

"You can talk," he snorted, irritated. I raised my eyebrows, surprised at his tone. "In the span of just a few hours, my identity was ripped from me and my world turned upside down. You will _never_ understand how that feels! Because what _you_ had was something _real_. Your husband and son - they were living, breathing humans who loved you, who really existed. Those bastards who created me couldn't even be bothered to implant memories of having parents or siblings!"

His first memories were from Little Lamplight, I remembered.

"You had Cutler, and MacCready." I protested. "Sarah Lyons, Arthur Maxson... Those are all real people who really cared about you. Why can't you see it?" I dared to smile. "And no way in hell have I been considering you my family for the last few weeks only to have you mope around about being lonely!"

"Family," he repeated. That word always seemed to work on him.

"God damn it, yes, Danse. Family," I snapped at him. "You mean more to me than any friend, however close, ever would."

The way he raised his eyebrows, in complete surrender, was just everything I could ever need. His eyes softened.

"Nora," he whispered and for a very long time, he couldn't say anything else. "I'm just... I had no idea you shared those thoughts, I just... I assumed... I mean, I don't know if that's friendship or just an anomaly in my programming... After all, I'm not really human... But one thing remains - I feel closer to you than anyone ever before in my entire life."

And that was when I couldn't. I couldn't keep any of my emotions on a leash anymore. I was so madly in love with this man, and hearing him say all those amazing, amazing things, seeing him look at me as if I really was the most important thing in his life... It was too much.

"I feel the same way, Danse." Reason told me that I shouldn't go on, but I decided not to listen to reason. "I'm just hoping it's more than... than _just_ friendship."

He pulled away from me, took a step back. Afraid.

"But certainly you can't— You can't be saying you saying that you're... in love. With me. That—That doesn't make sense. How can you be in love with..." He spread out his arms. "Well, a machine?"

I felt tears in my eyes and just hoped that they were caused by the wind. The dull ache in my heart, however, told me otherwise.

Danse was right - I was pathetic. Even after everything he taught me, about synths and the Brotherhood and everything.

But heart never listens to reason, does it? Mine certainly didn't.

"Don't say that," I managed to choke out. I pushed him on the chest angrily—I hadn't realized how frustrated I was until that very moment when I couldn't handle it anymore. Danse staggered backwards, unprepared for this kind of hostile reaction from me. "Don't you ever say something like that about yourself _ever again_! You are _not_ a machine - in fact, you're more human than most people I know can ever _hope_ to be! And I _know_ that because I have fucking seen you!" I let tears fall down my cheeks. "Because I have seen devotion, understanding, and nobility, because I have seen loyalty, compassion, and honesty, and because I _love you_!" I punched him on the chest, crying. "And I don't fucking care..." At this point, I was just weeping. "I don't care..."

"Nora..."

"Don't look at me," I choked out, swallowing tears. "Just leave me... Let me be." I found it hard to breathe for a moment as I choked on my own breath. Finally, I managed to say "You were right."

Danse lifted my chin and wiped the tears off of my cheek with a thumb.

"No," he said calmly. " _You_ were right, Nora. You were always right - even if I didn't understand why you did what you did, I knew that you never meant ill to anyone." He bit his lip. "I was wrong."

"Did you just admit you were wrong?"I gave a hysterical laugh. I was on an emotional swing at the moment. "That's not like you, Danse."

"Many things have changed about me. I suppose you would have known by now. And I guess that includes a fair share of trust..." He smiled at me, his hand still warm on my cheek. "So let me say it again: _thank_ you, Nora. You've done much more for me than you can imagine. It's been so hard for me, the last few days, but you were there for me... You've always been."

I felt tears in my throat.

"I love you," I choked out.

He gave me a sad smile.

"I'm sorry." And that was it. He didn't say anything more. Maybe that was the way it was meant to be? I didn't deserve _love_. "This is just unfair. On you." He looked down. "If I were human, wouldn't this be a hell of a lot easier?"

"If you _weren't_ human, would we even be having this conversation?" I shot back immediately.

"I don't know. I have no idea what kind of programming it takes for me to even handle... this kind of things." He ran a hand through his hair. He bit his lip. "And what exactly do you want me to do with this information, Nora? What do you expect me to say?"

"I don't know. I... I don't, Danse. You just need to figure it out on your own."

"This is a lot to take in. Coming to terms with my identity, leading the Brotherhood, the war... and now, this? Nora, I can't deal with everything. I just can't. I am only one man, and I have my limits." He sighed. "Please, just... Just tell me what you want from me now." He looked at me, and it was just pure fear in his eyes. Nothing else. Just fear. "Because... I don't know."

"One simple word. Yes. Or no." I gritted my teeth, trying to hold back tears. "Danse... I need to know—is there _any_ chance that you could ever, _ever_ feel this way about me?"

He glanced down, but then he looked up at me again, his warm brown eyes meeting mine in a way that made my breath get caught in my throat. He smiled - and that smile could light up galaxies, it could melt icebergs. That smile was for me.

"Nora, I've felt this way ever since I met you."

I blinked.

"Wha—What?" I asked, not quite eloquently.

"Well, I certainly didn't _mean_ to fall in love with anyone, did I?!" He huffed. "You just made it so _impossible."_

"I don't understand," I admitted. "I mean..." Was _I_ confessing my love to him or the other way around? "What... What's going on here?"

I squirmed when he took my hand into both of his warm, strong ones. He took in a deep breath.

"This is... I just... I'm not going to lie - you're going to have to be patient with me... But I think that... if we both continue to do what we do... I think that this relationship has the potential to last for a very long time."

There was no way I could have heard that right.

"Are you saying...?" I whispered.

"I... Damn it, Nora, yes. I... I do love you. That's what I'm trying to say."

He sounded even more surprised at that than me, if that was possible.

I smiled, blinking to get rid of my tears. Why was I crying? I had never been happier, at least not since... No. _Never_. Never before in my life have I felt that way about someone.

"Would it... Be appropriate if I kissed you now?" He asked shyly. I laughed because he was being serious with that question.

"Permission granted, Elder," I replied with a warm smile on my face.

"I..." He let out a nervous laugh. "I'm not sure I know—"

I silenced him by pressing my lips against his. His eyes initially widened in surprise, but after a second, he closed them and actually relaxed. I deepened the kiss, seeing that he was comfortable with this invasion of his personal space. It wasn't rushed or passionate, it was just... right.

It felt right.

And, unlike with any other of my boyfriends, I was so funnily aware of all those little details, things I never took notice of. The way the wind felt on my face, and the warmth of Danse's hand on my cheek. The way he tried to breathe in and panicked when he couldn't. The way his beard scratched my cheeks. I felt everything at the same time.

When I finally pulled away, Danse could only look away from me. He let out a breath.

"We're stupid," he said quietly. "If I had known how you felt, we would have had this conversation months ago."

"All along? You felt like this _all along?"_

"I don't know... It's... You have to forgive me, it's still hard to cope with those... those _human_ emotions, but I..." He bit his lip. "I cared about you deeply from the very beginning, but I didn't properly recognize what those feelings really were. When _did_ I? I... I think it was that day at Sanctuary Hills. Seeing you so broken and sad... I had this strange urge to hold you close and comfort you, to make sure you didn't cry anymore. I felt bad because this one time, I couldn't just take revenge upon the person who hurt you - I realized that I wanted to protect you, no matter what the cost, and... I don't know if this makes sense. Maybe it doesn't..."

"That's probably the most romantic thing anyone's ever told me," I whispered, pulling away a loose strand of hair from his face. I let my hand stay there, on his cheek. "And I don't care if it makes sense. I've dreamed of it for so long..."

"When?"

"When?" I repeated with a bitter laugh. "I don't know. Every moment. At ArcJet, when I was about to fall and you caught me. When the Prydwen arrived and you just looked... so happy. Every time you said you were proud of me. When you told me about Cutler. After the Institute, when I really needed support and you delivered..." Stupid body was betraying me - I was crying again. "I fell in love in every moment. You're just _everything_. Every time you smile, my heart beats faster. When I see you happy, I'm happy too. When you're sad, my heart is aching for you. And I'm sorry, but I'm _terrible_ at verbalizing my feelings." I laughed, trying to cover the awkwardness with humor. "I've made this all sound like some sappy romance novel."

"I don't mind. I like hearing you talk." Danse shivered. "Is it me or is it getting colder?"

I glanced at my watch. "Three AM. And you've given me your jacket, you daft, chivalrous..." I smiled. "Come on. Let's go back inside."

"Wait." He grabbed my arm. "Do you... Do you just want to leave it? After everything we've just said... You just want to walk away?"

"I would _never_ walk away, Danse - you know me." I smirked. "I do _not_ walk away. Not from a fight, not from a debate, not from any unfinished business. Not from my friends. Definitely not from you."

The relief in his expression was almost funny. He just hung on to every word I said... What had I ever done to deserve that kind of admiration from anyone?

I shook my head and decided to just head straight to my room. Danse's room. Whatever.

Danse awkwardly stood in the middle of the room as I sat down on the bed. I took off my eyeglasses.

"What is it?" I asked softly. He looked troubled.

"Can I stay here with you?"

"Why?" I was genuinely confused.

He sat down next to me.

"I like watching you sleep. It's peaceful. You know, that rare moment when you're not frowning or shouting at everyone around you..."

"I hate you," I pushed him away playfully.

"No, you don't." He said it with genuine, one-hundred-percent sureness.

"You're just going to sit there?" I asked.

"Until you fall asleep," he explained quickly. "If that's alright. I can go away..."

"Just get in here already." I raised the duvet so that he could crawl underneath it. Long forgotten were sleeping robes or nightwear - we just went to sleep in our uniforms. I realized that maybe that was a part of why we couldn't get good rest on the Prydwen. We simply stopped acting like soldiers. And if there was one thing that I was undoubtedly certain that was true about both of us, it was that, at heart, we were both soldiers.

Brothers in arms.

So much more than just that. We weren't even two people anymore. We were a team - the perfect team, if I were to believe what Maxson had said. _Your effectiveness was only raised when you worked together._ We completed each other, me and Danse. When I looked back at it now, it was clear as rain. I was his moral compass and he was mine. I made him put into doubt things that needed thinking over - he strengthened my beliefs when I put into doubt things that _didn't_. Virgil. The bombs for Liberty Prime. We would be nothing without each other. He would probably still be camped in the police station, trying to send out a cry for help that would never reach anyone. I would never even have found Diamond City without his help.

"I'm glad I didn't ignore those gunshots back at Cambridge." I closed my eyes. It was warm and comfortable... And I hadn't slept for two days. "I would never have met you."

"I'm glad I didn't shoot you down when you ran onto the square," Danse replied in the same sleepy voice.

"Hmm." I shifted so that I was resting my head on his chest. "Were you really considering that?"

There was a moment of silence.

"...Maybe," he answered finally.

I laughed at that.

"I love you."

 **Footnote: Maximum level.**


	33. Stepping Along

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**  
 **Stepping Along**

* * *

"Nora!" Haylen woke me up by literally bursting into the room. I immediately sat up on the bed, ready and alert.

"Scribe Haylen!" I addressed her as professionally as I could while still laying in bed. "What time do you call this?"

My mind was simple - if I hadn't woken up on my own yet, it was too early to wake up. As simple as that.

"It's half past nine, ma'am!" Her tone changed into one of a soldier surprisingly quickly. "And, may I add, I've tried knocking..." She drifted off when she noticed Danse lying beside me.

"Oh." She blushed a _very_ _deep_ shade of red. "I'm sorry, sir, I wasn't—I didn't—" She quickly looked down at her feet. I actually didn't think a person could look more embarrassed.

"You were saying?" I cleared my throat.

"Oh. Yes. It's half past nine already. And it's today. We're running Liberty Prime's final tests today." She still refused to look at either of us. I didn't know how to respond. Thankfully, Danse took over the initiative.

"Thank you, Haylen. We'll be sure to report on the airport as soon as possible," he said calmly. "You may go now."

"Yes, Elder. Thank you. Sir." She quickly backed out of the room and shut the door behind her.

"You know," I said with a small laugh, "I do _not_ want to know what she thought."

Danse smiled, but it was only a small, weak smile.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, tilting my head slightly.

"Women, always so intent on talking everything through. Do you think we did something wrong?"

"No..."

"Then there's nothing to talk about. I meant every single word I said yesterday and I just hope you know I won't say any of that again."

I blinked. "What?"

"I will not say any of those things again to anyone, ever in my life. I love you, Nora. Those words from me are meant strictly for you, and nobody else."

"I hate you," I whispered.

How did he even come up with things like this?

"No, you don't." He helped me up. "Now come on. We've got work to do."

"We do?" I was still a bit sleepy. I rubbed my eyes.

"Did you not hear what Haylen said? We're testing Liberty Prime today."

"Oh." I laughed nervously. "That. Yeah, I'll... I'll be right there. Just give me a moment."

He nodded. "Of course." He left the room, gently closing the door behind him.

I smiled widely. I had no idea why I was even feeling like this, but I wanted to jump and laugh and—This wasn't like me!

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. The smile on my face was all too obvious. My hair was messy, though...

I grabbed my jacket and threw it over my uniform. _Whatever happens now... I'm ready for it._ I knew I had to get to that test site soon, but first things first—I needed breakfast.

I managed to take a handful of apples out of the officers' pantry without anyone noticing and ate two of them on my way to the airport. I found Proctor Ingram near the armory, fixing something up. I waved to her from afar.

"Apple?" I asked with a cocky grin.

"Don't mind if I do." She took it from me. "Huh. You're early, actually. That's a first."

I pouted, pretending to be offended. We walked to the test site. Liberty Prime was fully assembled now, and thus kind of impossible to hide from both any Institute's spies and literally everyone else in the Commonwealth - the robot was well over twenty meters tall.

"This is gonna help us fight the Institute?" I asked, trying not to sound disrespectful—it _was_ still very impressive.

"Doesn't look like much, I know, but Prime's power isn't in his appearance. This robot is an engineering marvel."

"I believe you," I said with a small smile. "Wouldn't have risked my life so many times if I didn't."

She laughed good-heartedly and patted me on the back. "That's a good answer."

We were interrupted when Danse and Kells joined us on the test platform.

"Elder," Ingram nodded her head at him.

"Proctor Ingram, Doctor Li." Then, our eyes met, and he smiled warmly. "...Nora."

I looked down at the ground, careful not to look at him as they joined up with Doctor Li at the control panel.

Ingram raised an eyebrow. " _Oh_." She laughed. "And Taegan owes me two hundred caps. Nice!"

I immediately looked at her. "What?"

"You know, because he said it would take you two more than a month to get together."

I blinked. "What?"

"Oh, _please_ , Danse is smiling? You're all dressed up and cheerful this early in the morning? I'm not an idiot, Paladin."

"Hold on, you were betting on when we would get together?" I exclaimed.

"It was more of a pool, actually. Cade said it was never going to happen, but Grimes was convinced it would take you only a week. I said two weeks and Taegan said a month."

"You. Were betting. On us getting together," I repeated, this time slower. "You knew?"

"Well, you weren't very subtle, either of you. I've known the Elder for like a decade, so I know when he likes someone - and I've never seen him care about anyone as much as he cares about you. Now, if _that's_ not love, I have no idea what is."

"He's a synth. Isn't that, like, ultimately wrong?"

"He's a synth, says who?" She tilted her head. "Cade didn't know anything about it when I asked him. Quinlan didn't read the list after decoding it, he just sent it straight to Maxson. The only person who ever said anything about anyone from the Brotherhood being a synth was Elder Maxson. Who, conveniently, was having problems with Danse at the time."

She saw that I was about to protest and shushed me.

"I know! I know this is just a conspiracy theory - that's exactly what it is!" She smiled widely. "But if it's gonna save you two all that trouble, I'm down with it."

I looked at her. "Proctor Ingram, have I ever told you how absolutely amazing you are?"

"Yeah, well... Not everyone here is going to see it the same way, so if you could just, I don't know, be discreet about it."

"About him or about us?"

"I don't know, Nora, whichever's easiest. Look, the Elder of the Brotherhood of Steel, who is also a runaway Institute synth—a Courser, at that—happens to be your boyfriend now. Just choose whatever's the strangest part of that sentence and throw it out."

I nodded with a bitter smile. "Thanks _so much_ for not judging me."

She rolled her eyes. "Deal with it." She went to the rest of them, but I stayed in that exact same spot.

 _That was... surprisingly reassuring._ I found myself smiling.

"Paladin!" Danse called me sharply, making me realize they were waiting only for me. I quickly ran up to the group. "You're distracted."

"Sorry, sir," I mumbled.

"You've got to be focused," he said, now more kindly. "All of us have to. The fact that we haven't heard of the Institute for so long is distressing."

"Right on point, sir," Kells said. "According to scout reports, there have been numerous energy readings recorded in Cambridge during the last two weeks that might have been their teleporter. However, no confirmed reports of Institute intervention or sightings of larger groups of synths." He narrowed his brows. "If you're asking me, they're up to something."

"Well, nobody's asking you, Captain." Doctor Li leaned on the wall behind her. "I know the Institute far better than any of you ever will. If they were doing something, you would know. No, this is simply the preparation."

"For what?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Hell if I know. I wasn't exactly among the senior staff down there—and even if I were, I'm on the wrong side now."

"Which brings us back to the matter at hand," Danse noticed. "Liberty Prime must be ready for whenever the Institute decide to attack. And since that could be any moment, we have to hurry." He looked in Ingram's direction. "How goes the work?"

"It's practically done," she said reluctantly. "But... there's still one piece missing. Prime needs something that will power him. We've been doing some basic tests and he's running just fine, but he wouldn't fare in battle." She nodded at the robot. It still had many wires and such attached to itself and _didn't_ look practically done. "So far we've been feeding him power from the Prydwen's engines, but that clearly won't work long-term."

I smirked. "That look on your face says you've got a way to solve this problem."

"Right on target, Paladin. Proctor Quinlan and Doctor Li did some digging through a _lot_ of technical documentation and there's practically one place in the Boston area with a possibly running beryllium agitator."

"One?" Kells seemed suspicious. "That's certainly convenient."

"You think so? Then lemme tell you this: it's in the Mass Fusion building, right in the middle of downtown Boston. There's super mutants and ferals on every street. Even if you do avoid all that, there's still the interior security to deal with. Nora, please indulge me and tell us—how were all those big companies with their security?"

I sighed. "During the war? Ultra-paranoid."

"We're talking sentry bots, Protectron robots, Assaultron battle androids, automatic machinegun turrets, you name it. And even if you get through all that, there's still the agitator itself. There's gotta be a _shitload_ of radiation in there after 200 years of sitting idly. You grab it, it turns off. But the real trick is in not dying before you grab it."

"Gotta be a ghoul or a super mutant to survive that," I muttered. Yet none of the ghouls I knew would be willing to work with the Brotherhood of Steel.

"Right then." Danse grabbed his laser rifle. "We'll have to prepare for a retrieval op. For now, we'll keep on monitoring every Institute activity. I'm holding a senior staff meeting to discuss it, in about 100 hours."

Everyone agreed half-heartedly.

"You should attend too, Paladin," he said, clearly talking to me.

I didn't answer, blankly staring ahead.

"Nora."

He gently touched my arm. "Nora?"

I stirred, somehow panicking, as I began to take in my surroundings again. Danse was looking at me with concern.

"Are you alright?"

I could only nod my head. I couldn't muster more of an answer than that.

"You really don't look alright," Ingram said. "You're pale."

"I just... got caught up in my thoughts," I explained. "It's nothing."

I ended up going to the Prydwen with the both of them. I enjoyed having people that cared about me, but _some_ people were overdoing it.

We were somewhere along the mess hall when Knight Rhys caught up with us. He was tired like after a long run.

"Elder!" He stopped to salute. "What's the status on the Mass Fusion retrieval operation?! We've not sent a single team yet!"

"What's the hurry?" I asked with a small laugh.

"You haven't listened to the radio?" he asked. We all looked at him, equally confused. He paled. "You have to listen to the radio."

Ingram narrowed her brows, but she pulled out an SW radio and tuned it to Diamond City Radio.

The voice that sounded from the speaker wasn't Travis Miles.

 _"_ — _and we are real. It is true, but it is not the whole truth. We are here and we are the future. Our superior technology represents the best hope for the Commonwealth."_

I felt my blood run cold. The Institute. They'd taken over Diamond City Radio. So everyone was now hearing this... That was what the bastards wanted.

 _"Today, we launch our nuclear reactor_ — _ensuring that we will persevere long after the world aboveground has ceased to exist."_

I reached for Danse's hand almost without thinking.

 _"We do not wish to interfere with your unimportant daily lives. We simply wish that you do not interfere with the Institute's operations. Today we embark on a new frontier. Once the switch on the reactor is thrown, and the beryllium agitator cold-starts the fusion reaction, the future of mankind will be secured. So sleep easy, people of the Commonwealth. Know that humanity will prevail, even after you are long gone."_

I stared at the radio, more frightened than I had been in a long time. They were going to kill everyone! Danse put his arms around me, not less scared than I was. I could only imagine others listening to this same message right now. Piper and MacCready in Diamond City... Were they facing it together like we were? Or maybe Piper couldn't take it with cold nerves? What of the Minutemen? They had to be affaired. Maybe there was panic. Maybe some were even crying. And the Railroad? I imagined the catacombs beneath that church were now completely silent. I imagined none of them dared to say a word after hearing that. Everyone... _Everyone_ had heard that message. And everyone was afraid now.

I swallowed, my throat feeling sore all of a sudden, as I hugged myself to Danse's chest, wanting nothing more than for it to be a dream.

Rhys turned the radio off. "That's the real reason we need to get our hands on that beryllium agitator."

I blinked. Why were there tears in my eyes? Out of fear? Slowly, I looked up to see Danse's face. He looked like a man robbed of everything he held dear. His eyes were almost empty as he stared ahead.

"I failed," he whispered. "This is my fault." He let go of me to be able to sit down on a chair. I hadn't seen him look so devastated since... well, _that_ day. "I should have greenlighted that operation as soon as possible. Should have... Should have seen this coming."

"Danse?" I bit my lip. "I don't think any of us saw this coming."

Rhys stood by my side. "Requesting permission to assemble a small strike group, sir."

Danse looked up. In an instant, his eyes regained their usual flame.

"Of course," he said. "The sooner, the better. We can't allow them to get away with this. One vertibird should be able to evade any clear confrontation." He stood up. "You must set off immediately."

We nodded. "Yes, sir!"

Ingram exhaled slowly. "Brace the soldiers. There's a battle coming."

oooOOO***OOOooo

I wrapped the scarf Piper had given me around my neck before jumping into the vertibird.

"That's the last of them!" Rhys shouted to the pilot. "Go! Go! Go!"

I held on tight as the helicopter took off. The strike team was actually the first people Rhys came across: myself, Ingram, Evelyn, and two Knights I didn't know. There were six of us. The Institute could be hundreds.

"Hey, Nora." Evelyn sat down next to where I was standing by the door. She fumbled with her uniform for a while until she managed to pull something out of her pocket. "Here. You're gonna need your strength."

"An energy bar?" I laughed. "Thanks, but I'm not hungry."

She shook her head. "I see what you're doing. And... that's probably not the best way around it."

"Oh, really?" I didn't look at her, instead focused on the view outside the window. We were quickly approaching Boston.

"It's okay. I'm not judging you. But you're one of the strongest, most capable people I know. I would hate to see you become your own undoing."

I looked at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I like you and I think you're honestly a good person. But I also think that sometimes you try to take too much on yourself to protect the people you care about. And I think that you should cut yourself some slack and from time to time acknowledge that _you_ have some needs too." She pushed the candy bar into my hands. "You need to get your nutrition, for example. You need to eat."

I smiled weakly. "Thanks," I said. "And... for the lecture too. Guess I needed it."

She nodded. "That's what friends are for."

I checked the clip of Righteous Authority, the only gun I had taken with me. (Not very wisely, but we'd been in a haste.) It should be enough.

"There." Ingram took the place beside me, the only other place by the window. "That's the Mass Fusion tower."

It was easily one of the highest buildings in Boston that were still standing more or less on their own. It was also one of the few that hadn't collapsed in the last two centuries.

"I'll try to land on the roof," the pilot said. "Won't be easy, though. Try to hold o—"

I had never before seen someone manoeuver an aircraft as quickly as what happened at that second. Everything shook, of course, and I lost my balance. Evelyn held me when I fell onto her. For a moment, I wasn't sure what had happened, but I understood when I saw beams of energy shooting from the building's direction towards us. That jolt had been an amazing evasion!

"Synths," Evelyn realized. "It's the Institute."

"No," I whispered. "No! We can still win this!" I pushed my way towards the pilot's seat. "We need to land!"

"I _can't!"_ the soldier exclaimed. "I won't get close enough before they shoot us down!"

"This is an order!"

"He can't do it, Nora!" Star Paladin Evelyn, the only person who outranked me here, pushed me aside. "Get as close to the roof as you can, we'll jump!"

"I didn't agree to that," I complained.

She grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled me towards the door. "Jump!"

I opened the door and staggered, pushed by the sheer force of wind pressure. We were straight over the roof now.

I really, _really_ didn't wanna jump.

She pushed me out! I gritted my teeth not to bite my tongue by accident, just seconds before I hit the hard concrete of the tower's roof. My military training kicked in and I by instinct rolled over to avoid breaking any bones. I wasn't sure if it worked, because everything hurt all the same.

I jumped to my feet, mumbling swearwords under my breath, and drew my gun without even thinking about it. There was a synth maybe ten meters away from me and I fired a round from Righteous Authority at it. Two more were closing in on me from the left. One of them fell, shot down by Proctor Ingram. She looked all fine in that power armor—not at all hurt from that fall. That made me all the angrier. I shot the other one.

"You know," Evelyn said as she ran up to me, "the thing I like about those old synths is you don't confuse them with civilians!"

I had to agree with that. I looked around. There were almost no hostiles inbound at that point.

"Backup is scheduled to arrive in an hour," a Knight informed us.

"Damn," Evelyn swore. "We don't _have_ an hour."

I frowned. "Judging by the welcome committee, we don't even have time for talking now. We've got to find the beryllium agitator before them."

She nodded her head. "You heard her!" she commanded the soldiers. "We're moving!"

We managed to secure the penthouse pretty easily, but the number of synths on the top floor worried me. How many would we have to face on our way down? I glanced around. The building was in as bad a shape as most of the city, but there were some electronics that seemed to be still working. There was a utility elevator, which was like a miracle, but it required an ID card for access.

"Hey, Nora," Star Paladin Evelyn called. I ran up to her place in the corner of the room. "I think this one's still working," she said.

"A terminal?" I asked. "How's that gonna help us?"

Proctor Ingram was less sceptical than me. "A _security_ terminal. Maybe there's a way to bypass the security system in here."

"Gotta get in," I said. I powered the computer on and waited. For a longer while, nothing happened.

Evelyn sighed. "I'm gonna find a fire escape or something."

"Good luck climbing down two hundred years' worth of rust," I muttered.

The screen lit up and displayed a login screen. Of course.

Ingram nodded at the terminal. "Well, go on. Work your magic."

"I don't know the password," I pointed out. "And I've never even _tried_ hacking a computer."

"Seriously?" She looked at me with genuine surprise.

I laughed. "You're wondering how come I've made it this far."

Ingram clicked her tongue. "Not really. I'd wager either you're just one lucky bastard or you've got one hell of a guardian angel."

"Guardian angel?" I laughed bitterly. "You know, I used to call Danse my guardian angel, a long time ago. Before we were friends."

A _long_ time ago.

I noticed they were looking at me and I awkwardly cleared my throat. "Um... Can _you_ hack the terminal?"

Ingram nodded her head. "If I can keep that pile of junk—err, the Prydwen—in the air, I can do anything."

A minute ago, the service elevator was up and running, and we all huddled in the small amount of space it offered. I didn't even pretend I was happy, tucked between Ingram (wearing power armor) and Rhys (also wearing power armor). But I decided to keep my mind on the objective at hand. If we didn't secure that tech before the Institute did, that was it. They would have the power to obliterate everyone on the surface.

 _That_ was something we—I—couldn't allow to happen.

So even though we had to fight our way through platoons of synths, I didn't lose my determination. We methodically searched every floor as we went down—funnily enough, the Institute were doing the exact same thing. It was just a matter of time before one of the sides involved found what they were looking for, and everyone in the building was coldly aware of that. We didn't even waste time on speaking to one another, aside from the occasional request to share ammo.

Floor by floor, we somehow managed without casualties. Only three injuries (two of which were me). Eventually, we ran into a much larger group of synths than any of the ones we'd encountered earlier. They were fighting a bunch of other robots which I could only assume were the automatic defense system.

"We've gotta get into that fight?" Rhys narrowed his eyes.

"Nah... I got a better plan." I eyes the fighting robots carefully. I had taken plenty of Rad-X beforehand but I was still feeling a bit woozy. No wonder the Institute had sent their old, metal synths here instead of the new ones—the robots wouldn't have to worry about the radiation. But that still didn't hold true for us. And while Evelyn and Ingram were safe in their power armor, the rest of us were, sadly, not radiation-proof. Any time spent on fighting those synths would be more time spent among all this radioactivity. So all we needed to do now was... "Wait for an opening... Then, run," I said in a whispered.

"Run where?"

"That door. That's what the robots were guarding, so I'm betting it's something important." I narrowed my eyes. "Now!"

I had to give my soldiers that they were well-trained, because as soon as I gave that order, they set off—even before I did. We ran among the fighting robots but didn't engage in fighting ourselves, so as a result, we all managed to get to the closed room. Ingram pulled the door and shut it as soon as we were inside.

Soon enough, we were all gathering our bearings, taking off power armor helmets, catching a breather, and trying to calm down.

"This is it," Rhys said sternly.

I looked up, for the first time really seeing the room we were in. Most notably, there was a huge glass window overlooking some catwalks and machinery on the other side. There was an airlock leading to it, for now sealed shut. And good—I didn't doubt that if it weren't, we'd all be dead or ghouls by now. The Geiger counter from Ingram's power armor UI was so loud I could hear it.

I clenched my fists. _So close now._ We'd made it here first after all. "I'm going in," I said.

"Wait." Ingram grabbed my arm. "No offense to you or your capabilities, Paladin, but that's unstabilized beryllium. There's gotta be a ton of radiation in there right now. And knowing you, you'd probably take it out all violently and destabilize what's already unstable."

I shook her off. "We don't have _time!_ " I growled.

"I'll take it," Star Paladin Evelyn said simply. "Just cover me in case anything happens."

I looked at her, not really sure what I thought of this idea. "...Okay. But be quick."

"Be _careful_ ," Ingram corrected me. She turned her attention to the control panel situated under the window. "I think I can power up the airlock from here."

Evelyn smiled gladly and put on her helmet. "Ready."

She walked to the airlock. Ingram turned a few switches on the console and a red lightbulb above the door lit up. Evelyn looked back at us and nodded her head. Ingram pressed a button and that light turned green. Evelyn quickly slipped in and shut the door.

"Powering up the airlock now," Ingram said. "Gotta talk through your SVR now, alright?"

"Got you, Proctor," Evelyn's voice sounded clearly from my walkie-talkie. I smiled. Okay then.

Ingram powered up the airlock. A hissing sound could be heard, as well as a faint clicking.

"Whole lotta rads," Evelyn muttered.

I walked over to the window. I smiled weakly when I saw her on the catwalk below. So far so good.

"See that machinery in the middle there?" Ingram asked. "No rocket science. Just get in there, take out the power source, and get back."

"Sounds simple," Evelyn decided. She looked at me through the glass and showed me a thumbs up.

"Not really okay, though..." Rhys motioned for me to join him by the door. The three Knights had been holding it closed all the while, so I had assumed it was okay... I left Ingram by the console and walked to them.

"What's up?" I asked.

Rhys scoffed at that. "Nothing's 'up'. We're right here in the middle of enemy territory, so you could move it." He tapped his foot against the floor, irritated. "Wanna find out how long till the Institute break in here? Because I don't."

"They're just out there... Waiting," one of the other two soldiers said gloomily. "This is the only way out. We're going to have to fight our way out."

I clenched my fists. That wasn't the best news I'd heard in a while. There were only six of us... Where the hell was that backup?! _Next time I see Danse, I'm whacking him on the head_ , I promised myself. That thought kind of made me feel better.

I turned to get back to Proctor Ingram, but I was stopped by Rhys' voice, uncertain and husky.

"And, Nora..."

I looked back, surprised - this must have been the first time he ever said my name. "Yeah?"

He looked away. "For what it's worth, you're not so bad after all."

I smiled. _Thanks_.

"Okay," I heard Evelyn from the radio. "I think I got it."

"Try to hold out," I said to the Knights. I joined Ingram by the window and watched Evelyn on her way back.

"Guys?" Her voice, tinny and distorted as it was through the intercom and the power armor, sounded genuinely afraid now. "Something's wrong..."

I looked at the control panel. "Shit!" I swore under my breath. The room had _flooded_ with radiation! It was half the scale and growing.

"You must've caused some kinda chain reaction when you took away the power source," Ingram said quickly into the microphone. "Get the hell outta there!"

I could see Evelyn running towards us on that catwalk, but I could also see the ever-growing levels of radiation in the room.

Ingram had to be seeing the same thing as me, because she angrily kicked the console. "Fucking hell!"

 _Danse would kill us both for the profanity_. I didn't know why I even thought about it. Danse would be angry if he knew. MacCready would be disappointed. For some reason, I couldn't confront myself with what was going on around me—instead, I thought about the people who weren't there with me. The people who should be there with me.

Without my friends, I was _nothing_.

I couldn't even help Star Paladin Evelyn! I was so fucking close and yet there was nothing I could do!

"Evelyn!" I shouted into the microphone. "Don't you dare slow down!" Her steps were heavy now, she was barely walking. Even power armor couldn't protect her from that amount of radiation. _"Evelyn!"_

I gritted my teeth, helplessly looking at my slowly dying friend. _No... Why is this_ — _This isn't what was supposed to happen!_

She coughed dryly. "Nora?"

I hated myself at the moment. "...Yeah?"

"One thing..." She reached the airlock and leaned on the door, not strong enough to stand on her own. Without thinking, I threw the switch, letting her out of the irradiated room. She stumbled into the airlock. "I just... don't wanna... Damn." She coughed again. "Not like this..."

The airlock door hissed and opened and I ran towards her.

"You're not dying," I said, shaking my head.

"I..." Evelyn laughed weakly. "No. No, I'm not."

Ingram shut her eyes. "Oh, no."

Star Paladin Evelyn nodded. "I don't... Can't change into a—a ghoul..."

"I won't shoot you," I protested, tears in my eyes. "I won't do it!"

Weakly, she stood up. She put the beryllium agitator in my hands. It was easily half a meter wide and shockingly heavy. Evelyn looked at us. "Know what happens when you hit the fusion core of a working suit of power armor?"

Ingram's eyes widened visibly. "Star Paladin—"

"Look, I'm gonna die either way! But if I can take as many of those damned synths down with me as I can, I'm gonna do it!"

I moved away from her. Too much radiation was—well, radiating—off of her. I shook my head... This wasn't good. "What... what happens when you hit the fusion core of an active suit of power armor?" I asked. I wasn't sure if I would like the answer.

"It's like..." Evelyn grabbed her laser rifle. "Like a..." She grunted, clearly in pain, but she kept on walking to the door. "...a self-destruct button."

I shut my eyes. "No," I whispered.

She put her hand on the door. "Let me do this... Please."

Only minutes later, our situation had changed drastically. One man down, our small squad was now weakened, but we had secured the beryllium agitator and the path ahead of us was clear for now.

I swallowed my tears, running down the stairs beside Knight Rhys, things in my backpack clanking with every step down. There was a synth in my way, but I channelled all of my anger and grief into a single kick and it went down. However, it only got more complicated for us from then on. As we went down, I began to realize that the Institute were not only trying to get hold of a power source for their stupid nuclear reactor—they were also probably hoping to secure this whole building. If they had an outpost in the middle of downtown Boston, their influence would only grow! Not such a nice picture.

"If I do have a guardian angel, he's certainly taking his sweet time!" I complained.

The backup that had been supposed to be there long ago was still as nonexistent as ever. I found myself mentally cursing Elder Danse, Proctor Taegan, Captain Kells, and everyone else that had left us to die here. We had to face more synths with every floor we went down. It would probably reach the peak at ground level... If we would manage to survive that far. Our situation wasn't exactly the brightest right now: I was all out of medical supplies, only a few fusion cells remained in my laser rifle. I couldn't speak for the others, but I knew none of us were in a good state.

Pushed by instinct, I ducked to avoid getting shot the moment we entered the lobby. Ground floor? It was hell. Our squad was suddenly outnumbered more than ever before! I tried to stay close to Ingram, but I was soon separated from the other soldiers. Not good when you're outnumbered.

I ended up fighting off a bunch of synths all on my own, barely able to hold my ground against their overwhelming force. I was retreating, stp by step, gradually closer to the wall behind me. Eventually—which was inevitable—I ran out of ammo. The little time that I would need for reloading turned out crucial, though. All of a sudden, I wasn't an opponent anymore, I was just a target. One of the synths used that to charge at me headfirst.

I cried out in pain when I was pushed back with unhuman force. I hit a metal cabinet and ended up lying on the floor with its weight upon me. I felt tears come into my eyes the moment it fell onto me.

I tried to wriggle out from underneath the cabinet, but to no avail. A quick look around confirmed that I was in immediate danger from that same synth and that I was helpless to stop it.

I reached for Righteous Authority, but the gun was simply too far from me. The synth raised its shock baton—

I shut my eyes, waiting for the final blow, and was confused when it didn't come.

I reluctantly fluttered my eyelids open. The synth was still standing in front of me, but its head had been sawed off, now only a shower of sparks.

"I leave you alone for _two hours,"_ Danse noticed, pushing the destroyed robot to the ground. There were several other soldiers with him, all of them combat prepared. He smiled at me, his dark hair tangled with sweat and his face dirty with grease. "I hope we're not arriving at a wrong moment."

I wanted to hug him _so hard_.

I couldn't hug him, so I settled for looking around. The backup—and what a backup it was! Ten soldiers in power armor (eleven if I counted Danse), four Scribes in combat uniforms, and, judging by the sounds from outside, at least one vertibird—must have killed off those last few synths and now were preparing for holding the outpost.

"Alright, come here." Danse easily lifted the heavy metal cabinet off of me. (That's why I should have taken my power armor, too.) He pulled me up to my feet. "Broken anything?"

I flexed my legs. "I don't think so."

"Great." He clapped his hands. "Alright, people! Secure the ground floor, ready for combat! The Institute will most likely try to retake this facility, so we need to be prepared!"

"Have you got it, Paladin?" Ingram asked.

I pulled the compound out of my backpack. "I don't tend to lose important stuff, thankfully."

"Someone's got to take it to the Prydwen before the Institute hits this place. Who knows how long we'll last, if we'll last at all. We can't afford to lose that tech."

"Hell no, I'm not leaving this place while there's still a fight in the air," I protested. "You take it."

"You're more important to the Brotherhood. We can't afford to lose someone like you - I would only let you go if there was someone more important here..."

Our gazes met. "Danse!" we called out together.

"Danse, this is important, you've gotta take this and get it to the airport ASAP," I said, practically pushing the agitator into his hands.

He shook his head. "No... What? No." He looked at me in a very strange way. "No, I'm not leaving here until the battle is over."

Ingram looked like she wanted to die. "Oh, my God. Someone hold me, there's two of them." She grabbed the collar of my jacket and yanked Danse's overcoat. "You two, _get_!" She pushed us towards the exit.

"I can't—"

"This isn't—"

Our protests were cut off by her angry glare.

"I don't _care_ what you think! I care about securing this piece of tech and that's what _you_ are gonna _do_!" She pulled us both outside and ushered towards one of the three vertibirds, its engine running. "Alrighty, this is Lancer Dennis. Dennis – Paladin Nora, Elder Danse."

"It's an honor..." the young pilot mumbled, just as overwhelmed by Ingram's actions as I was.

"Listen closely, whatever these two might say, you're flying straight to the airport. No stops along the way. ASAP." She narrowed her brows. "Understood, soldier?"

Dennis nodded, still scared. "Yes, ma'am!"

A series of shots rang out through the air and I knew the fighting had just begun. _I can't believe I'm running away..._

"Damn!" Ingram swore. "They're here." She flicked off the safety on her gun. "Okay, go! Go!"

I only managed to grab something when we set off. The turbulence was so strong that but for Danse, who caught me in time, I probably would have fallen out and suffered a quick albeit painful death.

We were gaining altitude quickly, but we were also being shot at.

They had a sniper! I realized that only when a bullet hit the vertibird's wall, missing me just by an inch.

Another shot rang out through the air and, much to my horror, Dennis fell onto the control panel in front of him. He was dead.

Without wasting any time, Danse pushed the body out of the way and took that place himself.

"Do something!" I screamed, holding on for dear life as the helicopter went into turbulence.

Danse turned to me in a split-second. "Do I look like a vertibird pilot to you?!"

"I don't know! I don't wanna die, so _be one!"_

"I'm not!"

I pushed him out of the pilot's seat and yanked the control lever in my direction. We were still falling, but a bit slower now. The wind was howling in my ears, I could barely hear my own thoughts.

"I don't want to panic, but we're still going to crash!" Danse joined me by the controls.

"Then _you_ do something!" I screamed at him. "I'll try to direct it away from the city!"

If we were going to die, I didn't want to hurt anyone else in the process. A collapsing skyscraper could do a lot of damage.

"Nora, river!"

 _"What?!"_ I looked at him, convinced he'd lost it at that point.

"Charles!"

I understood in just a second. Even if I crashed safely, the engine would explode. But if I landed in water... Maybe we'd have more time. It would probably explode too, but... At least the explosion would be contained.

 _Here goes_ , I thought, and directed the falling vertibird towards the water.

"Be ready to jump!" Danse ripped out the door—power armor was a scary thing—and threw it out. The wind pressure that immediately filled the helicopter was unbearable, especially as we neared the ground.

I held on to the pilot's seat as not to be pulled out, tears falling out of my eyes.

"We're gonna die!" I screamed. I didn't want to die! Not just yet! I had... I had so much to live for yet— And Danse, there was so much we hadn't done yet— And my friends, Piper and MacCready, and Hancock, and Nick - they wouldn't know what happened to me!

I couldn't stop crying. We were going to crash in that river. I looked to Danse, who was standing by that door, ready to jump out. But if we jumped, we wouldn't survive either!

I opened my mouth, and I realized the words I was about to say would probably be my last.

"Danse, I—"

He grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to the door. "Don't talk, _jump_!"

I looked at him, terrified with every inch of my being. "No, wait—"

He pushed me out!

I screamed as I fell, for the first time ever realizing that I had no parachute and that I had never even gotten one and that I desperately needed one—!

I shut my eyes in fear just seconds before my body connected with the surface of the water. For just the briefest moment, like a sudden rush of hot water running through my veins, I felt pain. But it only lasted for a moment, just a fraction of a second.

Because then, I felt nothing at all.

oooOOO***OOOooo

I gasped, spluttering water all over my face and neck. I began coughing as my organism suddenly adjusted to breathing air again. I coughed again, trying to get the last of the water out of my lungs.

I sat up abruptly, which caused my head to spin. Danse, who had been watching me with an uncertain expression, now laughed with clear relief.

"Oh, thank God!" He hugged me tightly—almost too tightly—which honestly caught me off-guard. As close as we were, Danse was still not a huggy person.

I blinked. I was completely wet, I was cold, and I was completely nauseous because of the aftertaste of irradiated water that continued to linger in my throat. I wanted to throw up.

"...Danse?" My voice was husky and just speaking scratched my throat a bit. "What the hell—How come am I alive? I was drowning."

"Well, you _were_ drowning." He looked away from me. "I, um... Well... I—I did save you. That's all that matters in the end."

There were tears in his eyes, I noticed. And the hug... Danse was not a huggy person. I could recall maybe two times when he'd actually hugged me before. It just wasn't something he did unless there was _really_ big emotional strain...

Really big. Like... Oh.

"CPR," I said slowly, understanding. "You weren't _saving_ me, you were _resuscitating_ me."

"Nora—" I could see it was painful for him to even think about.

"I... I _died_?" I shook my head. I couldn't bear the thought. Not because I was scared or because of regret... No, it was him. I only thought about how he must have felt when he tried to get my heart to beat again, when he had to drag my lifeless body on the beach. The other way around? I would have broken down. "I can't believe I actually put you through that. You..."

"It wasn't your fault," he said quickly. "It wasn't your fault. I was the one who was stupid enough to let you go on this op."

This op... I felt almost all life return to me.

"The agitator!" I exclaimed. "Oh my God, was it in the explosion?"

Danse raised an eyebrow. "Nora, with all due respect, it's an atomic reactor. If it had been in that explosion, we certainly wouldn't be here now."

"You got a point..."

I sneezed.

Danse immediately looked in my direction. "We need to get you someplace warm or you'll catch a cold," he noticed consciously. "I can't believe I forgot about your condition."

"It's not a _condition_ ," I said, offended.

"Of course it isn't."

I glared at him. "Stop partonizing me."

"Oh, I'm not partonizing you," he said in that same partonizing tone. "I'm taking you completely seriously."

As if to prove me right, he took off his overcoat and put it on my shoulders.

I narrowed my brows. "How come are your clothes dry?" At that point, I was sure the universe hated me _exclusively._

Danse rolled his eyes. "Power armor."

"Oh." That made sense. I sneezed again, ignored the look he gave me, and looked around.

The sun was setting, so, due to the lack of any nearby outposts, we decided to look for some place to spend the night. We eventually camped up in one of the abandoned houses in the suburbs. It was strange, but we didn't even talk that much - just silence was enough.

We were together, that was all that mattered.

"That's the first time we've been alone in a while," he noticed.

"You mean that's the first time we've been _left_ alone," I corrected him. "You're a pretty important person lately. Seems like someone always wants something with you."

Danse almost laughed out loud. "Are you _jealous_?" He sounded like it was the most ridiculous thing he'd heard in a while. "Of my soldiers?"

I crossed my arms. "Whatever. You'll get your share of laughing once we finally put an end to the Institute. I won't rest until I know for sure they're no danger."

He grabbed my hands. "Nora," he said softly. "We're doing all we can and you know that. For now all that matters is that we have the beryllium agitator. They're no danger as long as it's with us."

I smiled. "Thanks, Danse, but I'd really rather stand guard. How can I feel safe knowing they're out there?"

We had barricaded the door with Danse's power armor, so we were, technically speaking, safe. Still, I knew better than to trust the Wasteland.

Danse shook his head, tired. "I will protect you if it comes down to it," he said—again, patronizingly. "Is that enough to convince you to go to sleep?"

I sighed. "We can stand guard shifts. Deal?"

He shook my hand. "Deal."

"But I take the first shift," I demanded.

"On one condition." He put another blanket over me. "You stay close to the fire."

I rolled my eyes. "Danse—"

"I'm serious."

I scoffed. "Fine! I'll... stay by the stupid fireplace. I'll have you know, though—" I sneezed. "...Whatever."

I wasn't _sick_! So people were so damn grandmotherly it was really getting on my nerves. I didn't need anyone telling me when I should be sitting by the fireplace!

...Then again, I wasn't especially keen on getting out of the warmth of my blankets. I didn't dare fall asleep, so I pulled out a Nuka-Cola out of my backpack, hoping the caffeine would keep me awake. I eventually went on to clean my laser rifle, just out of boredom. I couldn't stand being idle and this one time, I hadn't taken anything to read.

Without much hope, I checked Danse's backpack too, and I was pleasantly surprised to find a few issues of Tumblers Today inside. (The idea that he was reading up on lockpicking was unexplainably funny to me.) I found out that it wasn't good journalism, but it was better than nothing... Always a way to pass time. Considering I would swap with Danse in a few hours, it was—

I jumped to my feet when I heard a loud noise from upstairs. I burst into the bedroom, only to find Danse, half-awake, panting heavily as he clutched his chest through his shirt. He looked like he was having trouble even breathing.

"Danse?" I immediately rushed to his side. He was startled but otherwise alright. When I put my hand on his chest, I realized his heartbeat was completely crazy.

Another one of his nightmares? I had no idea what to do in this situation... How do you handle a PTSD attack?! I wasn't a psychiatrist!

"Danse," I whispered. I sat down on the bed beside him. "It's okay. I'm here. You're not alone, I'm here."

"Nora? You're—" His eyes were widened from fear as he frantically looked around the room. "I was—"

He seemed to calm down a bit once he noticed me, but that was still far from how a mentally healthy person should look like.

"It's okay," I whispered. I brushed his hair, completely damp with sweat, from his forehead. "I'm here."

I kissed him slowly, ready to stop if he showed in any way that he was uncomfortable. But all he did was close his eyes and bury his hands in my hair. He pulled away and looked into my eyes.

"Nora—" he whispered, but he didn't get to finish whatever he had been intending to say.

"I know."

I didn't know. I didn't even know what he was going to say, but I couldn't let him overthink anything. It was the only way to ensure we would both go on with our lives. No overthinking. No pondering. No regrets.

Just us.

 **Footnote: Maximum level.**  
 **Temporary perk: Lover's Embrace - after spending some quality time with your special someone, you feel completely relaxed and ready for anything! +15% XP earned for a limited time.**


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